someday (i'll make it out of here) - the_color_pomegranate (2024)

Table of Contents
Chapter 1: something bad’s about to happen to me Summary: Notes: Chapter Text Chapter 2: i’m just a kid Summary: Notes: Chapter Text Chapter 3: welcome to my cage Summary: Notes: Chapter Text Notes: Chapter 4: another lesson yet to learn Summary: Notes: Chapter Text Chapter 5: i get tired (and i get sick) Summary: Notes: Chapter Text Notes: Chapter 6: hand grips hand Summary: Notes: Chapter Text Notes: Chapter 7: light a fire in my stomach Summary: Notes: Chapter Text Chapter 8: the dead little bird Summary: Notes: Chapter Text Notes: Chapter 9: my boy, my boy, my boy Summary: Notes: Chapter Text Notes: Chapter 10: the world is full of fishes Summary: Notes: Chapter Text Notes: Chapter 11: it's like i'm breathing smoke Summary: Notes: Chapter Text Notes: Chapter 12: i need you (now, i know) Summary: Notes: Chapter Text Notes: Chapter 13: afraid (they're gonna find you) Summary: Notes: Chapter Text Notes: Chapter 14: bad dreams Summary: Notes: Chapter Text Notes: Chapter 15: all the things i've seen Summary: Notes: Chapter Text Notes: Chapter 16: i'm unwell Summary: Notes: Chapter Text Notes: Chapter 17: black out days Summary: Notes: Chapter Text Notes: Chapter 18: if i keep going, i won't make it Summary: Notes: Chapter Text Notes: Chapter 19: (you’re gonna die) i’m gonna kill you Summary: Notes: Chapter Text Notes: Chapter 20: you were only seventeen Summary: Notes: Chapter Text Notes: Chapter 21: carry me out Summary: Notes: Chapter Text Notes: Chapter 22: god stood me up Summary: Notes: Chapter Text Notes: Chapter 23: haven't i given enough? Summary: Notes: Chapter Text Notes: Chapter 24: safer ground Summary: Notes: Chapter Text Notes: Chapter 25: don't be a stranger Summary: Notes: Chapter Text Notes: Chapter 26: three clicks and i'm home Summary: Notes: Chapter Text Notes: Chapter 27: you barely are blinking Summary: Notes: Chapter Text Notes: Chapter 28: pyramid song Summary: Notes: Chapter Text Notes: Chapter 29: between the bars Notes: Chapter Text Notes: Chapter 30: sparks Notes: Chapter Text Chapter 31: gone to waste Notes: Chapter Text Notes: Chapter 32: my baby, my baby Notes: Chapter Text Notes: Chapter 33: o children Notes: Chapter Text Notes: Chapter 34: a minute from home Summary: Notes: Chapter Text Notes: Chapter 35: i feel like i know you Notes: Chapter Text Notes: Chapter 36: my black shroud Notes: Chapter Text Notes: Chapter 37: you were scared (and so am i) Notes: Chapter Text Notes: Chapter 38: all the quiet nights Notes: Chapter Text Notes: Chapter 39: crutch Notes: Chapter Text Notes: Chapter 40: like the sun holds the moon Summary: Notes: Chapter Text Notes: Chapter 41: rise and shine Notes: Chapter Text Notes: Chapter 42: gone away Summary: Notes: Chapter Text Notes: Chapter 43: wake up Notes: Chapter Text Chapter 44: dead man walking Summary: Notes: Chapter Text Notes: Chapter 45: my little versailles Notes: Chapter Text Notes: Chapter 46: might not be alone Summary: Notes: Chapter Text Notes: Chapter 47: sitting ducks Summary: Notes: Chapter Text Notes: Chapter 48: wolf at the door Summary: Notes: Chapter Text Notes: Chapter 49: don't you know you're out of time? Notes: Chapter Text Notes: Chapter 50: four-minute warning Summary: Notes: Chapter Text Notes: Chapter 51: doomsday, pt 1 Notes: Chapter Text Notes: Chapter 52: ribs Summary: Notes: Chapter Text Notes: Chapter 53: doomsday, pt 2 Summary: Notes: Chapter Text Notes: Chapter 54: doomsday, pt 3 Chapter Text Chapter 55: doomsday, pt 4 Summary: Chapter Text References

Chapter 1: something bad’s about to happen to me

Summary:

It’s unnerving how limp he is, like a rag doll. He’s a wiry kid, a little muscle on bones, and he’s got a wide face peppered with bruises. Probably fourteen or fifteen, this kid… His youth is obvious in everything about him: his neon green shoes, his sweatshirt, his oddly colored jeans, his hair… He’s even got a math formula scribbled across the back of his hand. And the fact that he’s unconscious, bloodied, and locked to the Chair by his wrists, ankles, and torso makes everything worse. “He’s…” Scott Lang gasps, and the man's smile only widens. “He’s just a kid. You made me track down a… a… teenager?”

Notes:

title is from the song 'dark red' by steve lacy

CW: blood/violence, violence against a child, kidnapping, implied SA, nonconsensual drug use.

yes scott lang is chinese because i said so, it’s a chinese name so it works
also i’ve added/updated scenes in this chapter, so reread plz if you’ve been here before! also drink in the fluff, cuz u won't get anymore for a while

(and if you want to skip to peter's rescue, i'd go to around chapter 19, i know sometimes i just like to skip to the comfort too)

and plz be aware i started this fic in high school so my writing is not as good in the beginning few chapters bc lol time and practice makes u better, so feel free to skim the first few for vibes only and then get to the good stuff later :)

Chapter Text

Tony Stark is a survivor of horrors.

Countless horrors. He’s survived so many things—kidnapping and torture, open heart surgery, chemical poisoning, his father, a skirmish with an alien wormhole—and still he remains standing. He’s suffered much more than the average person.

And before now, Tony thought he had intimate knowledge of the dark intricacies of horror. That he knew just how bad it could get.

But on April 7th, 2018, nearly two years after the Avengers broke up, Tony found out just how wrong he was.

He never imagined the unimaginable pain of watching Peter Parker bleed. Every. Single. Day.

FRIDAY, APRIL 6 — 12:28 PM

Peter's been acting weird all day.

Even now, Ned watches as his best friend takes a deep inhale and blinks at the windows of the cafeteria. His posture is rigid—Peter hunches over his plastic lunch-tray but still hasn’t eaten any of its contents: a large carton of chocolate milk, a couple turkey sandwiches, two raspberry yogurts, and three oranges. Instead, he’s shredding the orange peel piece by piece, digging his nails into the meat of the orange before tearing off its leathery skin.

Now, usually, Ned wouldn’t usually say anything. Sometimes, Peter is weird. But it’s Friday, and they’ve got a pretty important decathlon competition tomorrow. He needs Peter to be on his A-game—so spacing out during class and hiding in the bathroom isn’t going to cut it today. “Peter,” he says, trying to get his friend’s attention. As Peter Parker's best friend and 'Guy in the Chair,' it is always his duty to inform the sixteen-year-old when he's acting suspiciously superhero-y, and now is one of those moments.

Peter blinks his brown eyes a couple times, and looks at Ned like he just realized he was there. “My bad,” he says, with a weird chuckle. “Spaced out.”

He ignores it for now. In Peter’s backpack, Ned knows, he’s got a hoard of protein bars for extra calories, but he hasn’t touched them all day; he fishes through Peter’s backpack for a protein bar, and he pushes it across the table to his best friend. Maybe Peter’s just hungry. “Okay,” he starts, as Peter tears into the bar one massive bite at a time, “now about the decathlon tomorrow…”

Their next class—AP chemistry—goes about as well as lunch.

Even though the class is his favorite, Peter spends the day in a sort of trance. He’s so out of it that eevn their teacher checks on him, asking if he got enough sleep. About halfway through class, Peter asks to go to the bathroom; he still has a strange, detached expression on his face. “Sure,” says their chemistry teacher with a worried look. “Go right ahead.”

The class works somewhat silently on their chemistry work, students occasionally going to the front to ask for help. Then Peter’s been gone for five minutes—then ten minutes—then fifteen. The teacher calls him up to the front. “Ned,” he says, “why don’t you go check on Peter?”

“Yes, sir,” he replies. He was a split second away from asking to go to the bathroom himself to check on his friend. There’s something seriously wrong with him today.

He gives Ned a hall pass and a note. “If he needs to go to the nurse, go ahead and take him.”

Ned nods and hurries off to the nearest bathroom. Inside, he finds Peter sitting by the window, head trapped in his hands. He’s covering his ears, and his eyes are closed, and he’s hunched over muttering to himself.

“Peter?” he calls out, and the kid jumps, startled, before sitting back down.

“Jesus, Ned—you scared me.”

“What’s wrong with you today?” says Ned. “You’ve been acting, like, super weird.”

His smile kind of fades. “I don’t know, I… My spider tingle? Or whatever? It’s been going off, like, since I woke up, dude. I think something’s gonna happen. Something big.”

Ned sits down next to him on the radiator; its heat blasts against his calves. “Like supervillain big? Or like losing the decathlon big?”

He shakes his head. “I don’t know. I’m trying to tune out…” Peter claps his hands over his ears, mouth pressed into a thin line.

So it’s a Spider-Thing. Sometimes, Peter gets like this: his spider-sense starts going off like an alarm bell and he finds it easier to tune everything out so he can figure out what the danger is—a bomb, a bad guy, a pervy substitute teacher…

“Hey,” says Ned, trying to read the situation. “You’ve got your web shooters, right?”

“Yeah,” his best friend responds.

“Then what could go wrong?” He elbows Peter’s arm. “You’re Spider-Man, dude. Nothing can take you down, right?”

Peter nods; he nods and nods like he’s convincing himself. “Right. Yeah. What’s the worst that could happen?”

Ned elbows him again. “That’s the spirit! Come on, let’s get back to class. Tune out your spidey-sense—we’ve got the decathlon tomorrow. You’re probably just worried about that.”

“Yeah,” he says. “Yeah, okay. You’re right.”

Ned grins. “I know I am.”

FRIDAY, APRIL 6 — 2:11 PM

Maggie Paxton is tired.

She’s had a long day at work; all she wants to do is collapse on the couch and take a nap, but Cassie keeps climbing to the top of the couch, crying out, “Geronimo!” and leaping on top of her, all elbows and knees.

“Cassie,” she says, annoyed. “That’s enough.” Her seven-year-old daughter gives a mischievous little grin and hops onto her again; Maggie pushes her off. “Mommy’s tired, honey,” she says. “Go play.”

Jim comes home not soon after; her new husband is a significant part of Cassie’s life now, and she squeals when he comes through the door. “Jim!!” little Cassie shouts, and she barrels at him head-first, running straight into his leg and squeezing it tight. He’s a tall man, and she’s always been so small—they’re a perfect fit. “Can we get ice cream? Can we get ice cream?”

Cassie’s used to getting ice cream every time Scott comes to visit—but not today. It’s so easy for her to get mixed up with multiple parental figures in her life, but Jim gently kneels and says, “Not now, Cassie. You’ll spoil your dinner for later.”

“Plus, we’re eating early tonight,” chimes in Maggie from the couch. “We’re going somewhere special tonight, remember?” Cassie will see her biological father next weekend; she can eat ice cream nonstop then.

Jim Paxton taps his stepdaughter’s nose. “C’mon, Cassie, we’re having ramen tonight! You know how much you love ramen!”

Cassie giggles and tries to catch his hand before it leaves her face. “I love ramen!” she squeals, throwing her hands into the air. She’s completely forgotten about the ice cream question now. “Ramen, ramen, ramen…” She lapses into a sing-song rendition of the word “ramen,” over and over again, spinning around on her stool. “Ramen, ramen, ramen!”

Jim and Maggie share an amused glance. “I know, honey,” laughs Maggie, “we had it last week, too.”

“You wanna guess where we’re going?” suggests Jim.

Maggie loves this man so much; he took off the back half of his Friday to go to the zoo with Cassie. Jim knows he’ll never be Scott Lang—who Cassie loves with her entire heart—but Cassie has started to see him as this glowing person in her life. To Jim, Cassie is every bit his daughter. “Where?”

Jim mimes a lion, then a tiger, and then some animal even Maggie has trouble with. “The zoo!” he shouts, miming an elephant now.

That gets Cassie’s attention. Their little girl spins around again to look at Jim, her eyes wide with anticipation. “Really?”

“Really, really,” replies Maggie. Cassie’s excitement is practically infectious; Maggie can’t help but smile. “You wanna go?”

Cassie beams. Both Maggie and Jim know that Cassie loves the zoo more than anything. Seeing the animals always sends her screaming around the place. Tonight, they’re having some special event with the aquatic animals—Cassie’s favorite. “Yes, yes, yes!

At the sound of the doorbell ringing, Jim gets up from his kneeling position to answer the door, and Cassie clambers into Maggie’s lap, throwing her arms around her mother’s neck. “Thank you, thank you!” Maggie can hear Jim speaking to someone at the door; vaguely, she wonders who it is. The mailman, probably. “You think we can see the belugas this time? I wanna see the belugas!”

Maggie kisses her daughter’s forehead. “Of course we can, honey. What kind of mother would I be if I didn’t let you see the belugas?” She wasn’t sure what belugas were, to be honest; some kind of dolphin? As a thirty-seven year old woman, she should probably know this by now. “Those are like dolphins, right?”

Cassie looks scandalized. “Mommy, they’re whales !” she exclaims. “They’re white, with big heads, and they can dive up to two thousand feet below the water, that’s what Miss Smith told me!” She continues with all the facts she has about belugas, her new favorite animal. Every kid has their obsession—for Cassie, animals are her addiction.

At the door, Jim’s voice is loud now, echoing down the hall to the kitchen. “—telling you, we didn’t order a package. You’ve got the wrong—” His voice comes to a strange halt, followed by a massive thump , so startling that even Cassie looks up from her rant about beluga whales.

“Jim?” Maggie calls out, concerned now; Cassie hops down from her lap. “You okay, honey? Jim?”

As she turns the corner, she sees them: Jim sprawled facedown on the floor like a corpse in a bad horror movie, red coming down the side of his face, and two men and a woman crowded around him, each wearing a brown UPS uniform and wielding a gun—a couple handguns and an automatic.

Like a rough slap across the face, Maggie’s terror strikes her hard and fast. She shoves Cassie behind her and they bolt into the kitchen together, then towards the stairs—

“—there’s the kid! Grab her, quick—”

—and screams for her to run: “Cassie, run!” Her mind screeches, Get Cassie out, get her out of here! and she grabs the first thing she sees: Cassie’s tennis racket, and a punch of pain rips through her arm, and the handle slips from her fingers. Shot. She’s been shot . With her other hand, she grabs the next item—an expensive ceramic bowl—from the shelf beside her; as a hand wraps around her wrist, she spins and smashes it against her attacker’s head with an animalistic scream. She scrambles to her feet again, something hot spilling down her forearm, and leaps into the kitchen, heart pounding, searching for her next weapon, anything , leaping for the rack of kitchen knives—

“Hey!” A heavy blow to her side, and she is on the ground again, coughing and wheezing and praying that Cassie escaped. An arm around her neck, locking her in a stronghold, and then there’s metal against her temple. “Get the f*ck up, get up! ” Maggie struggles against the person behind her, grabbing a handful of red hair and yanking hard, scraping at skin with her fingernails. “ Ow! You f*cking bitch! ” Hard metal slams against her temple, and Maggie’s brain slips away.

Blood roars in her ears. Cassie, Cassie, not my little girl! Muffled screaming: “Get the f*ck out here, Cassie, or I’ll kill your precious mommy! You want that? You want your mom dead on the floor? I’ll kill this bitch! I’ll kill her, I will! Cassie! Cassie!

Maggie clings to the one bit of lucidity she has and cries out, “No, Cassie, don’t—”

And pain crashes over the side of her head, a torment of black waves, and then nothing.

FRIDAY, APRIL 6 — 4:33 PM

Another fist slams into Scott’s mouth, and pain blossoms across his jaw. He spits on the ground, a splatter of red, and glares at the man in front of him. “f*ck you,” he says, and he’s surprised by his own profanity. He gave up swearing once he found one-year-old Cassie shouting “sh*t!” every time she wanted one of her stuffed toys. But now, after four hours of this angry motherf*cker and his brass knuckles, he’s about to snap. He’s trying to stay positive, but the fact that no one even knows he’s gone is really grating on his mind right now. He doesn’t even have a plan to escape; currently, his only plan is to annoy this guy until he breaks.

The man snarls and launches another fist at him, furious. “You think this is helping anyone, Lang?” he growls. “You wanna be ripped to pieces?”

Scott can’t remember what this guy’s name is. Max? Mark? “Well, it wasn’t on my schedule, Martin, but I mean, if you’ve got nothing else to do—”

Another fist, this time to his knee, and Scott gasps with the sudden pain of it. That was more than a punch. He heard something snap. “You and your f*cking jokes,” says Probably-Martin. “I’m sick of them. How about I take out your f*cking tongue this time, huh? How’d you like that?”

Scott shrugs, as nonchalantly as one could while tied to a chair and aching from hours of torture. “It’s the twenty-first century, buddy; I’d just get myself one of those Stephen Hawking things, maybe learn some sign langua—ah!

Pain surges through his foot, so horrible that he can barely breathe, and Scott screams, his co*cky smile dropping from his face. When he finally gathers himself, taking shaky gasps of air, the man smirks, victorious. “Next time I hear another one of your jokes,” snaps Probably-Martin, “I’ll smash your hand instead.”

Scott bites the inside of his cheek, just to keep himself from crying out again. He doesn’t want to look down at the damage that has been just done to his right foot, but he has to. He takes one glance...and immediately regrets it. The pain of his new injury seems to grow the longer he stares; Probably-Martin stepped on his foot so hard that it looks broken and smashed and wrong; Scott’s hands tighten around the arms of the chair. Stay strong, he reminds himself. Someone will come save you. Hank or Hope or the police or even the Avengers. And then you’ll be okay.

There’s another man in the room now, one with a brown beard and wild eyes. Bearded-Psycho, Scott dubs him, proud of himself. He smiles weakly, lifting his head to watch Bearded-Psycho and Probably-Martin argue. “I told you not to touch his hands, Mason!” Ah, thinks Scott. Mason. That was the man’s name. “It’s not like we can do this for him! We need those f*cking hands!”

“I didn’t touch his hands!” Mason protests.

As they argue, Scott lets out a shaky breath. He liked to think of himself as one of those happy-go-lucky, jokester superheroes, like Iron Man or even that Spider-Guy from Queens, but right now all he doesn’t feel like a superhero. He doesn’t want to admit it, but he is terrified. He shoves the fear to the back of his head with every ounce of composure he has—if he loses his sense of humor, he’ll lose his mind. Somehow, cracking jokes at his abuser makes it seem less grave in his mind, like he can break free of his bonds at any moment. Humor keeps his hope alive and burning in his chest.

“And his head!” Bearded-Psycho snarls, and Scott flinches in his bonds. “We need his head!” sh*t, he thinks, embarrassed at his involuntary display of fear. The only way to fight back against these guys is to laugh in the face of fear, but here he is, jumping like a little kid watching a horror movie. “Why the f*ck would you think it’s a good idea to smash his head around? He’s practically bleeding out of his ears!”

“Charlie,” Mason attempts, “I didn’t—”

Bearded-Psycho (or Charlie or whatever his name is) is huge compared to Mason, so when he suddenly grabs the other man and slams his head against the wall—“sh*t! Charlie, wait!”—until there’s blood running down his face, he makes it look easy, like beating up a kid.

Scott doesn’t feel the victory of watching his torturer bleed against the wall; all he feels is the electrifying anticipation of pain spiking through his body. This man, this Bearded-Psycho… He could crush Scott if he wanted to. Scott tries to make himself as small as possible. Any movement he makes will surely turn Charlie’s violent rage onto him. But even as Scott wills his body to stone, Charlie still turns around, wipes his hands on his jeans, and trains his eyes on Scott.

f*ck. Ready for another blow, probably ten times more painful than Mason’s, Scott winces, tensing his whole body and squeezing his eyes shut. Where will he hit him: his stomach, his legs, his feet?

A low chuckle greets him instead. “Look, Lang,” says Charlie calmly, as Scott opens his eyes with caution, “we’ve given you chance after chance to agree to our terms.”

Scott coughs. Yeah, he remembers the terms. It was the first thing that Mason said to him. “Sorry,” says Scott, laughing nervously. “Felonies aren’t on my to-do list, Chuck. No thanks.”

Charlie’s smile is nerve-wrecking, like Scott’s submission is inevitable, and Scott squirms, uncomfortable. Pain swirls in his foot, and he grits his teeth. Sweat trickles down his back. “If you say so, Lang.” His voice is calm. Too calm. Standing up abruptly, he shouts at Mason, who’s currently on the floor, moaning about his head. “Keep going, Mason. Don’t stop until I come back. And for f*ck’s sake, leave his hands and his head.”

Mason pushes himself into a sitting position and groans a reluctant “fine.” He’s angrier now, fueled by pain as well as frustration, and Scott swallows hard. When Charlie finally leaves the room, Mason growls, “f*ck you, Lang. You see what you did to me?”

Dread drenching his thoughts, Scott grits his teeth. “I’m pretty sure American Psycho’s the one who busted your head open, ‘cause he’s not the one tied to a chai—”

Another debilitating punch smashes into his body, this time cracking a rib and splattering across his chest. As Mason rubs his knuckles, Scott struggles for air and prays that someone will save him soon. He doesn’t know how long he can stand this.

FRIDAY, APRIL 6 — 5:01 PM

As the ringing stops and goes to voicemail, Officer Julia Keene sighs and puts her phone down on the table. It’s the third time that night she’s tried to call her brother Charlie, and still nothing. Although she’s a police officer and he went off the rails years ago, she still loves him more than anything. He always spared time for her—at least for a text or a phone call—every couple of days.

But Julia hasn’t spoken to Charlie in a while. It’s been too long since she’d talked to him, and she’s worried . Sure, Julia is a thirty-three, twice-married, working mother of two living in Queens, and Charlie is a twenty-eight year old drug addict living on the streets with a couple of prison notches on his belt, but Julia needs to know he is safe. He is her brother. Her baby brother. It was always Julia and Charlie against the world, and even though they split off years ago… She rubs her temples and tries not to think about it too much.

“You called him again?” says someone behind her. It’s her husband of ten years. His dark hair falls over his eyes as he slides into the chair beside her, sliding his hand over her back and rubbing gently.

Julia falls into his touch, taking his other hand in hers. Her husband keeps rubbing her back in slow circles. “It’s been weeks,” she sighs. “ Weeks . And I… I know something bad happened to him. He’s never gone this long without talking to me.”

Her husband shifts in his chair. “Look at me, mi vida ,” he says, voice gentle. “I don’t know too much about your brother, but I do know that he’s a mess. He lives his life from one fix to another.” He squeezes her hand. “I know he loves you, but he’s a slave to his life of drugs …and crime. It’s not your job to check in on him all the time. He’s an adult, Julia, and he can make his own decisions. And he’s always fine. He’ll be fine .”

Julia nods into her husband’s shoulder. “I know, I know, he’ll be fine.”

Her husband smiles and gives her a quick peck on the lips. “You okay?”

She nods again, this time meeting his eyes. She’s still unsure, but at least she feels better about the whole situation. She loves Charlie, but her husband’s right. Charlie Keene can make his own decisions. He’s a good kid—well, he’s not exactly a kid anymore. He’s twenty-eight.

Still… She’s his big sister. She’s going to worry. If this goes on much longer, she might report him missing.

FRIDAY, APRIL 6 — 6:37 PM

Peter Parker has spent most of the past month in Tony’s lab , working on what they like to call “Project Kevlar,” after the substance that made bulletproof vests. Peter himself came up with the project, recognizing that many of the lower-income families of New York who experienced danger on a daily basis felt helpless to the violence they experienced and couldn’t call the police for help. Police officers often left the most vulnerable of the city’s community—poor, gang-ridden, and homeless citizens—exposed to harm.

“It’s like what they use on college campuses,” Peter had explained, pride lighting up across his face. “The blue light system, you know?”

Tony had chuckled lightly. “What do you know about college, kid? You’re only—”

“I’m sixteen now, Mr. Stark,” Peter had reminded him, “and I’ve been on, like, three college visits! I know what it’s like!”

The mayor of New York gave Stark Industries explicit permission to implement the system in the city; it was simple but brilliant, really. They would place tiny alert buttons all over the city in public areas, each fitted to survive any weather conditions, and people could press the alert buttons to call for help.

Currently, they’re working together on a vital part of the system: the GSS, or the gunfire sensory system that could would automatically alarm them if a gun was used within the immediate vicinity of the alarm button. Tony is sprawled out on the couch, typing furiously on his laptop, as Peter bends over the worktable, a soldering iron in one hand and a circuit board in the other. To the left of Peter, a record player screeches ‘Killer Queen’ as the dark-haired boy nods his head to the beat.

Glancing away from his screen, Tony frowns, temporarily halting his humming. “Peter!”

The dark-haired boy’s hands jerks at the sudden noise. “Geez, Mr. Stark, a little warning next time!” A huff of frustration escapes him. “Now, I gotta solder that all over again.”

Tony throws a pair of goggles at him in response.

“Hey!” Peter protests, catching them only inches from his face.

“You know what I said, kiddo,” Tony announces. “Rule Number One: No Soldering Without Goggles.”

“I thought Rule Number One was No One Touches My Records,” Peter shoots back, chucking a pen at the older man. “And, by the way, if I hear another Queen song come on, I’m literally gonna throw that thing out the window.”

Tony sits up straight, mouth open in mock surprise. “How dare you! Queen is the best! Queen is… It’s the greatest band to ever walk the planet!”

Peter rolls his eyes. “You know, Mr. Stark, sometimes I forget how old you are! Listen to some AJR or something, come on!” But nonetheless, Peter slides the goggles on his face.

Before he can grab the soldering iron again, however, Pepper pokes her head into the lab, knocking gently on the glass. “Tony? We’ve gotta get going soon, we—” Her eyes land on the teenager perched at her fiancé’s worktable. “Oh, Peter! I didn’t know you were here.”

“Yeah, sorry,” Peter stammers. “Didn’t mean to interrupt your night, Ms. Potts.”

Pepper laughs, sitting down on the couch next to Tony. “That’s totally fine, Peter. You know you’re welcome here anytime.” Closing Tony’s laptop with one manicured hand (he protests with an irritated “hey!”), she turns back to the teenager. “You do know it’s a Friday night, don’t you? Shouldn’t you be out with your friends?”

Peter scratches the back of his neck, grinning sheepishly. “Yeah… It’s just I had this new idea for Project Kevlar, and I asked Mr. Stark, and he said it was okay, and…” He glances nervously at Tony. “Sorry. I’ll be gone in a few minutes, Ms. Potts.”

Pepper smiles gently at him. “You know you can call me Pepper; I’m not that old.”

Peter shrugs awkwardly. “The only adult I call by their first name is May! She’d kill me if I ever called Mr. Stark” —he cringed— “Tony.”

Tony chuckles, throwing his arm across the back of the couch. “Well, we’ll work on that one, kiddo.”

Pepper clicks her tongue. “As much as I’d love to watch you waste your childhood in Tony’s lab,” she tells Peter, giving him a playful look, “Tony and I have somewhere we need to be.”

“Where?” chorus Peter and Tony.

Pepper gives Tony the stern I-told-you-this-months-ago look that she always uses. “The charity gala? It’s for the Yemeni Women’s Union.”

“Ah, right… the charity thing.” He pouts. “Do we have to go?”

“Yes!”

Pepper tosses his tie in his lap as Peter scrambles to stuff his supplies back into his backpack. “Sorry again, Ms. Potts! Have fun at the gala, Mr. Stark!”

“It’s Tony, kid!” he declares, just as the Spider-Kid jumps to the door.

Peter gives him a mischievous smile, slinging his backpack over one shoulder. “Bye, Mr. Stark.

Pepper’s still laughing to herself when the door closes behind the kid.

FRIDAY, APRIL 6 — 7:09 PM

Sometimes, Charlie’s guilt aches like an old gunshot wound, sending painful spikes of regret spilling down his throat. Sometimes, his plan feels like shame, not pride, so he has to force himself to continue, one foot in front of the other. It’s in those moments when he needs his fix the most: angel dust, most days, sometimes with a spike of something else.

He pops a couple pills in his mouth and swallows hard. His sister once told him that taking drugs like this means he loses control over his body, that he relinquishes his throne to the drug instead of his brain, but what the hell does she know? Charlie is more in control than he’d ever been.

Charlie feels a warm buzz crackle through his bones, a familiar sensation, as the pill he’d just taken finally starts to work. Charlie lets out a relieved sigh, laughing a little. Everything seems to come back into focus: the plan, the future, the people… He knows. He knows.

Renee, his wife, will be back in a few minutes with the one thing they need to force that asshole Scott Lang to do what they wanted. And once they have Scott under their control, everything will fall into place, like dominoes.

From the other side of their base, he hears the door creak open, followed by the sound of a child crying and a woman yelling. “Charlie? Charlie!”

When he stands up, he staggers a little, but he quickly recovers, moving to meet Renee and the rest of them at the entrance to the base.

Renee has the girl by her waist as she squirms, crying through her gag and wiggling her bound wrists. “Sorry I’m late,” she says. “Traffic was terrible.”

Charlie grins. Finally. “You got her!”

“Yep,” she says. “Those motherf*cking parents were a pain in my ass, but I still got her. Any luck with Lang?”

He shakes his head as the little girl lets out a pained wail. “He just cracks jokes and refuses to help us.”

Renee smirks and shoves the girl to her feet. “Walk, kid. Walk.”

Now that Charlie has a good look at the kid, she looks a lot like Lang. Scott Lang’s Asian features are prevalent in the kid’s hair and face, and that defiant look in her eyes had to come from him. Her dark hair hangs scraggly around her head, and her face is red and swollen with tears. It hits Charlie, all at once, how young she is: probably six or seven years old. Her face is so full, her eyes so big, her body so tiny… He shakes his head. It doesn’t matter how young she is. They need to get Scott Lang on board, and Cassie Paxton, or Lang or whatever the hell her name is, is their ticket.

He leads Renee to what they’re starting to call the Room, the place where the whole show’s gonna happen. It’s a small space: ten feet wide and ten feet long, with a metal chair bolted into the center. On one side is a sink and a toilet, and the other has a folding table of various weapons and other materials.

Currently, Scott Lang is strapped to the chair in the center, his head hung low, murmuring to himself. Mason is taking another swing for Scott’s knee when Renee yells, “Hey, we’ve got her!”

The back of the chair is facing them, so when Scott lifts his head to the sound of voices, he can’t see Charlie, Renee, or Cassie. But Mason can. His shoulders slump in relief as Renee shoves the kid into the Room. “Finally!”

Lang’s looking terrible: his bruised face has swollen and darkened, his legs are damaged beyond repair, and it looks like at one point he pissed himself. Yet still he manages to conjure a shaky, Tony Stark-worthy grin and croak, “What’s next, fellas? The Iron Maiden?” in Charlie’s general direction.

“No,” snaps Renee, and yanks the kid before Lang’s eyes. “She’s next.”

It’s mesmerizing how quickly Lang’s grin melts; he goes pale, glancing from Cassie’s terrified face to Charlie’s victorious one. “No,” he manages, “no, no, no, no…”

“Take her,” Charlie says, nodding to Renee and Mason. Lang’s still gasping “no,” over and over again, like a broken record, as though the fact that his seven-year-old daughter is actually in front of him has just struck him. Just as Cassie leaps for her dad, Mason grabs her by the back of her hoodie, pulling her back before she can touch him. “I’ll stay with Lang.”

Scott Lang’s shaking his head now, frantic, his arms fighting maniacally against his bonds. “No, no! Please, no, she’s just a kid, leave her alone, please—please, you can’t, please, you wouldn’t—”

Charlie hits him across the face so hard that his hand stings after the blow; a buzzing feeling goes through him, something like electric triumph, upon seeing Lang like this. Scott Lang is broken now, begging for mercy, after hours of torture, and all it took was one scared scream from the kid.

“—p-please, I’m begging you, I’ll do anything, just don’t hurt her—”

“Shut up!” Charlie picks up Mason’s hammer as a warning. “One more word out of you, and this is going straight through your skull, understand?” Now, he understands why Mason is so frustrated. Lang talks too much.

Lang trembles and tries not to make another sound. An odd, sickly silence follows, in which Lang shifts in his chair. Soaked in blood and urine, his pants squelch against the wood as he cranes his neck to try to see Cassie. His breathing transforms from pained groans to fearful, shallow panting, his fingers white-knuckled against the arms of the chair.

Then it comes: a little girl’s blood-curdling scream, wet and painful and horrible, so Lang goes berserk, thrashing in his chair like a madman, words spilling from his mouth: “No, no—I’ll do whatever you want me to, please, oh, God, please, leave her be—Cassie! Cassie! Oh, f*cking God, f*ck, please, no, leave her, take me instead, I’ll do it, I'll do anything, anything, just leave her alone—Cassie, Cassie, Cassie!

Charlie watches it continue for ten seconds, thirty seconds, a minute, until finally, the screaming dies down and Lang, reduced to a sobbing mess, cries, “I’ll do it. I p-promise you, I’ll d-do it!”

Charlie’s shoulders relax a little. “Good,” he says calmly. “Now, that wasn’t so hard, was it?”

FRIDAY, APRIL 6 — 7:42 PM

“On the way back,” May Parker announces, “you’re driving, you little liar!” She’s driving with one hand on the wheel, the other dabbing on lipstick. At a sudden bump in the road, the tube misses her mouth, smearing pink on her chin, and she swears loudly.

“I didn’t lie!” Peter whines back, stretching his legs out. “I am tired!”

May wipes at her chin with the back of her hand, trying to make the pink go away. “You haven’t gone on patrol today, Peter!” Realizing she missed their turn, she makes a screeching U-turn before facing her nephew again. “How are you tired?”

Okay, so maybe he’s squeezing the truth a little. Sure, he only hung out at Tony’s after school instead of patrolling like he said, but he hates driving. It sets his teeth on edge. When he drives a car, everything is a possible danger, and whenever he’s nervous like that, his Spidey Sense (or, as May likes to call it, his Peter tingle) goes insane. “School,” he claims, picking at his cuticles. “I had a calc test today; it sucked the life right out of my body!”

May rolls her eyes as she pulls up to a stoplight. “Sure it did, kiddo. But you’re still driving on the way back. I’m gonna have some wine tonight, and no scaredy-cat teenage boy’s gonna tell me that I have to drive him home. You’re the designated driver tonight, Petey.”

He slaps her arm. “May! Don’t call me that.”

“What? You let Tony call you that—hey! Don’t change the music! That was a good song!”

“It was Bruce Springsteen!”

“Exactly!”

Peter groans in protest. “No, please, don’t make me go back! I can’t survive another Springsteen song!”

May gives him a devilish grin and changes the radio station back to its original song.

“No! You skipped Say Something!”

“My car, my rules, Peter—what’d I say? Don’t touch the radio—”

“But it’s Justin Timberlake’s best song!”

“I don’t care! Driver picks the music—”

Fire races up Peter’s neck, flooding his system: danger. He jerks his head to the left, blinding white headlights— “May, look out!

He throws his arm out to protect her, because there’s no f*cking way she can react fast enough to move the car out of the way, and then everything is—

—chaos and spinning and jolting, pain splitting up his left arm, jerking around, his skull smashing against cold glass, screeching and whining, until finally—

—tentative stillness, the car’s unbalanced rocking, and warmth trickling down (up?) his arm; his head whirs, dotted with pain, and it takes him a moment to realize that the unnatural heaviness of his head and the pull on his joints means he is upside down. The car is flipped upside down.

Peter opens his eyes and fumbles for his seatbelt, his heart pattering in his chest. He turns—Aunt May. She hangs in her seatbelt like a broken arm in a sling: there is red everywhere. He chokes on his shock (one, two, three, get up, get out, you have to do something) and then calls her name: “May? May! May!

A click on his right side; the door swings open, and he nearly sobs in relief. “Help her,” he gasps. “Get her, she’s bleeding, help, ple—”

Someone yanks him roughly from the car, and as he hits the ground he realizes: something is wrong. His Spidey-senses are a whirlwind of panic, and he glances up at the figure above him to realize that this is not a rescue attempt. Just as the man’s arm swings down, something thin clenched in his fist, he recognizes—this is an attack, and rolls hard to the right, away from the car. But he’s not fast enough—his head still rings from the impact and his left arm hangs limply at his side, so Peter’s not at his prime right now. So the object plunges into his arm instead of his chest, which he automatically thinks is a win...until he knocks it away and realizes it wasn’t a knife. It was a syringe. What the f*ck? His body feels a little heavy, like he’s covered in wet cloth, but he still manages to shake off the strange feeling and keep going.

Get up, Spider-Man! he thinks, and then he’s on his feet again, dodging and punching and twisting and hitting until finally there’s four masked figures on the ground, unconscious or wishing they were. He doesn’t have time to quip or crack a smile; he barely has time to check himself for injuries as he rushes to Aunt May’s side of the car, flinging the door open. She’s still unconscious, upside down, her hair lolling back and forth with the rocking of the car. As he reaches for her, checking her pulse, his mind spins as the strangeness in his limbs worsens; his fingers press against May’s neck, and the faint flutter of a heartbeat he feels there sends hope scattering through his chest. Who are these people? They’re dressed like f*cking villains: matching black, armored suits and facemasks. Matching weapons, even—massive guns and black-handled knives that they tried to use on Peter. Not including the syringe, and God knows why—

Something pricks in his back, and Peter whirls back around to see another masked man holding an empty syringe. Numbness creeps up his feet, oddly cold, and Peter trips over himself as he swings his fists at the man; his body feels wrong, heavy, yet still he keeps fighting. This isn’t just a mugging in an alley—this is Aunt May’s life in his hands. Minute pain tickles his arm, and then ice creeps over his arms, spreading over his skin. Where the hell did that come from? There must be another one—he counted only five of them. f*ck. He knows the feeling by now—sickly sweet, numbing sensations ripple through his muscles. Peter turns around—his head is cotton candy, yanked apart piece by piece, and he tries to punch his new attacker, but he keeps missing. How? Spider-Man doesn’t miss, he thinks vaguely, as the icy cold reaches into his brain and squeezes. Spider-Man doesn’t

He’s on the ground now, his face pressed against grass, and his limbs flop uselessly at his sides. “Why the f*ck did it take so many doses?” snaps an angry voice, just as the paralysis climbs up Peter’s jaw.

“I… I don’t know,” admits the second. “Let’s just get this over with, okay?”

“We gotta take care of her first, Haroun.” Peter’s breath halts, slanting in his throat. Her could only mean one person: May. “We can’t afford to get caught.”

A beat. “Take care...of her? I’m no killer, man. I may be helping you, but I’m not killing her. She didn’t do anything.”

An irritated groan. “She wasn’t supposed to be here. It was just supposed to be the Spider guy—”

“Just leave her, Jon. She’s gonna die before anyone finds her, anyway. Just look at her.”

A horrible silence, as Peter awaits their decision. To them, it’s a matter of getting caught, but to Peter, they’re threatening his entire world. May is all he has left—frantic desperation rips up his spine, and he uses all the will he has left to try to move again, but nothing happens. Come on, Spider-Man! Come on! Peter couldn’t save Uncle Ben, but he has to save May, he has to— “f*ck, f*ck, f*cking fine, let’s go. Grab him.”

There’s a moment of strained relief followed by shuffling as Peter tries to move his arms, jerking his heavy arms in the voices’ direction. “f*ck! He’s still awake!”

A sharp pain in his neck, a bloody fist, and then blissful darkness.

FRIDAY, APRIL 6 — 8:02 PM

Maggie’s eyes are sticky, like she’s been asleep for a dozen years. Cold, stiff sheets. Aching pain. A voice calling her name.

She squints up at a green-clothed man in front of her; he’s the one saying her name. “Blink if you can hear me, Mrs. Paxton.”

She blinks, confused. “What… What happened?”

He frowns. “You sustained several severe blows to the head. What’s the last thing you remember?”

“I…” She takes a moment. She remembers going out to breakfast with Jim in the morning, picking up Cassie from kindergarten—

Cassie. She scrabbles at the blankets; her right arm is useless, bound in thick bandages, so she pushes herself up with her other hand. “Cassie!” It all rushes back to her: Jim unconscious on the floor, the attack, the gunshot, the wild realization that they wanted Cassie— “Oh, God—where is she?”

The nurse gulps and clasps his hands together tightly. “I’m not authorized to—”

She’s never felt terror like this before—it’s horrible and electrifying, whipping up a frenzy of needles inside of her chest. She swings her good arm forward and grabs him by the collar; he winces. “Tell where my daughter is, asshole!” Pain ripples over her torso.

He looks like an ant beneath a microscope, squirming beneath the intense heat of her eyes. “They took her, ma’am,” he confesses, and her grip on his scrubs loosens. “The police went after them, but it’d been too long. They were already gone by the time the neighbors called 911.”

They took her. They took her. They took her. Maggie’s brain won’t function. “But how—” She chokes on her words. “No, no, no…” She grabs at her hair, and pained dread pangs in her neck, leaking down into her heart. “No, God, no…” Nightmarish thoughts peel at her head and spear behind her eyes, and anguished nausea swirls in her stomach. She wraps her arms around her belly, clawing at the bandages there.

“Mrs. Paxton, the police are doing everything they can. They’ve already sent out an Amber Alert, and they’ve alerted all the nearby hospitals to any children matching your daughter’s description.” He looks uncomfortable, even guilty, and he backs away from her hospital bed. “I’m terribly sorry, Mrs. Paxton. So, so sorry.”

Maggie can barely hear him leave; her daughter, her baby, her Cassie… Horror wracks her mind, darkness pries at her mind—her seven-year-old, her baby girl, scared and hurt and crying for her—and she presses a shaking hand to her distressed mouth, trying to keep all her horrified thoughts pinned inside of her.

There’s nothing worse than this, the absence of Cassie at her side, knowing that gruesome, unspeakable things could be happening to her at any moment; Maggie cries into her hands, sobbing. Cassie…

The doctor comes about an hour later to trade places with the nurse; she’s antsy, constantly shifting from foot to foot as she speaks, like the elephant in the room of Cassie’s kidnapping can just be ignored. After several choked-out apologies, she explains most of the medical implications of the attack in an apologetic stammer, telling her has several broken ribs, a gunshot wound to the forearm—“Just a graze, ma’am, you got lucky,” she says—and a minor concussion. “We stitched up that cut in your forehead,” the doctor says carefully. “But you have take it easy for now.” Maggie wraps her arms around herself. “We’ll keep you overnight for observation, but after that we’ll give you medicine to take home…”

Everything after that is blurry, shadowed by the knowledge that Cassie has been kidnapped. She visits Jim’s hospital room; he wakes up a couple hours after her, but he doesn’t remember anything before the night prior. “What’s wrong?” Jim asks. He’s still got that hopeful look in his eyes. “Why do you look so…”

Maggie knows the word he is trying not to say. Devastated. Like her entire world has been ripped away from her fingertips. “She’s gone,” she croaks. “They took Cassie.”

FRIDAY, APRIL 6 — 8:29 PM

The doorbell rings for a second time, and finally Julia, sprawled across the couch next to Cristian, lets out annoyed groan.

“Not it,” her husband chirps.

“Honey, you can’t do ‘not it’ with two people! It doesn’t work!”

He shrugs and snuggles deeper into the couch. “Nose goes,” he says, tapping his nose.

“Same rules, Cristian!”

He only laughs, so finally Julia relents. “Lazy ass,” she complains, swatting his thigh as she gets up. “You’re getting up next time.”

She heads to the door; the occasional ringing has now evolved into frantic banging. “I’m coming, I’m coming!” she calls out, mildly irritated. It’s probably one of their neighbors asking about a lost pet. That kid next door can never keep track of his toy poodle. She peers through the peephole first.

Instead of a mailman or a neighbor, she finds a tall, black teen, probably eighteen or nineteen. She knows him well—as a police officer, she has frequent run-ins with this one: Ty. He isn’t dangerous, just a drug addict like her brother. He looks odd—not sober, just odd—like he’s about to vomit all over her front porch. She cracks the door open. “If you’re gonna puke,” she warns him, “do it in the grass.”

He shakes his head. “No—I gotta—I’m not sick—I gotta tell you somethin’, miss, somethin’ important—real important, miss—” He rubs his already messy dreads into a chaotic pile. “Can I—can I come in?”

Briefly, Julia thinks of her children. Ty isn’t dangerous, she reminds herself, and she’ll be with him the whole time. After they instruct the kids to stay in the basem*nt while they talk, they sit Ty down at the kitchen table—Cristian and Julia on one side, Ty on the other. He’s nervous, but assures then repeatedly that he’s unarmed. “I don’t wanna hurt nobody,” he says, “promise, miss.”

She wants to say something to him, something like “I know” or “It’s okay” to calm his anxious nerves, but she can’t do it. He is too young, too unstable, too terrified, and it puts her on edge, like someone’s father will come sprawling in at any moment drenched in drunken rage.

“They’re gone,” he says finally, after a century of painful silence. “Charlie, RJ, everybody.”

Julia and Cristian share a concerned glance. “What?”

He explains what happened in shaky sentences; Charlie, Julia’s brother, had been Ty’s dealer for the past few months. “None of the hard sh*t,” he promises her. Charlie and Ty met once or twice a week, and Ty often hung around Charlie’s crew—a group of drug addicts who were so far gone that Ty’d never once met them lucid, let alone sober. They were always on something, whether it was co*ke, dope, speed, or dust. “An’ I know they didn’ always do good, but they was good, promise. They kept talkin’ about how they was gonna change the world, make it a better place…” He trails off. He tells Julia that a couple of weeks ago, Charlie had missed their weekly meetup without any warning. Originally, he dismissed it as Charlie being too high to deal that day, but when he tried to get into contact with some of Charlie’s guys to see if they would deal to him, they were gone, too. He checked with everyone in Charlie’s tight circle of drug addicts; they’d all vanished. “Last time I saw them, their place was some abandoned, creepy-ass dungeon or some sh*t, f*ckin’ snakes on the walls…” But when he tried to find them, he explains, the place was empty. They were gone.

Finally, Ty sighs. “I didn’ know where to go, miss. I can’t trust none of those cops but you. Anybody else woulda put me in jail, and I can’t go back there. I’m just scared ‘cause these are my people, you know? And they ain’t done nothing wrong, but I think somethin’ happened to ‘em.” He stares emptily at Julia. “Somethin’ bad.”

FRIDAY, APRIL 6 — 9:05 PM

Cassie is cold. So, so cold. She’s never been hurt like this before. Not when she tripped in soccer and sprained her ankle, not when Jim accidentally hit her in the face with a softball, and not even when her grandma died a year ago. At least then, she had Daddy or Mommy or Jim with her.

Now, it’s just Cassie. Cassie, the toilet, and the weird scratches in the walls. It’s a tiny room with gray walls, gray floor, and a gray ceiling. There’s a toilet and a sink in the corner, but nothing else. No bed, no chair, no table. The door is gray, too, reinforced with metal bolts, and only a slit, almost a rectangular hole, in the center of the door signifies that there’s any outside at all. She’s all alone, in this tiny room, and there’s blood all over her arm and she’s scared. She doesn’t want to remember that the Red-Hair Lady grabbed Mommy and smashed her head against the wall. She doesn’t want to remember that Red-Hair Lady took her knife and cut her arms open. She doesn’t want to remember any of this.

But when it’s just Cassie, all alone, all she has is her thoughts, and she can’t help but remember how much it hurt.

She whimpers and draws her knees to her chest, pulling at the sticky, bloodstained sleeves of her hoodie. She doesn’t like this. She wants Mommy and Daddy and Jim… She wants Jim to hug her and cook her some ramen. She wants Mommy to rock her and read her a bedtime story. She wants Daddy to sing her favorite song…

Daddy. She remembers seeing his face before Red-Hair Lady took her away, before the hurt— She squeezes her eyes shut. She remembers that he was tied to a chair, that he was scared and he looked like he was hurting a lot. And when he saw Cassie, it was like his whole world had fallen apart. She’s never seen him like that before, and now she’s more scared than ever before. She starts to cry, sobbing into her knees; she wants Daddy, she wants Daddy, she wants Daddy!

Red-Hair Lady and Big-Man locked her in here. When she cried and begged for them to let her go, Red-Hair Lady grabbed her by the throat and threatened to cut her tongue out unless she shut up. Cassie reaches into her mouth and touches her tongue, just to reassure herself that it’s still there. She can still remember Red-Hair Lady and the terrifying fury of her words.

She knows Daddy will come for her. He has to. He always promised that he’d keep her safe, no matter what happened. She believes in him. Maybe he can turn into Ant-Man and slip free! Then he can come save her. She nods to herself. Yes, Daddy will come save her. He is brave and strong, and whenever she’s in trouble, he is there—

A loud beep and then the locked door before her clicks open. Cassie perks up, her sob caught in her throat. “Daddy?”

A snort of laughter is her reply. “Don’t you wish, cutie.”

Cassie shakes in her fear. It’s the Red-Hair Lady and Big-Man, and they look mad. “No, n-n-no! I d-do-don’t wanna go, p-please!” She is crying again, so hard that she can’t control it. “I wanna go home!”

Red-Hair Lady leans down to meet her face-to-face. “You’re not going home for a long time, cutie. So get used to it.”

Cassie cries harder—“I wanna go ho-home!”—and Red-Hair Lady slaps her.

She’s never been slapped before, and it’s startling, a violation of everything she’s ever known. She can still feel Red-Hair Lady’s hand on her cheek, a ghost of the blow. “Shut up,” snaps the woman. “Don’t be a f*cking baby.” As Big-Man grabs her by the waist and slings her under his arm, kicking and wailing, Red-Hair Lady storms out of the room. “Charlie!” she shouts. “Lang’s taking too f*cking long!”

Cassie can hear broken protests from the far end of the hallway. Once, she thinks she can hear her name among the desperate words.

The tall, bearded man is now talking feverishly to Red-Hair Lady. “He says he’s going as fast as he can, Renee. Mason, put the kid down.”

Big-Man shifts nervously, glancing at Red-Hair Lady. “As fast as he can?” Red-Hair Lady scowls. “Bullsh*t! At this rate, it’ll be days before he’s done. We need this, and we need it now. Lang just needs a little motivation, that’s all. Something to get those f*cking fingers moving.”

The other man hesitates. “Fine,” he says. “As long as Lang does his job.”

Renee smirks. “I’ll make sure he does.”

Cassie’s not stupid; she knows that they’re talking about Daddy. “I want Daddy!” she wails. She knows he’s here, somewhere, and the combination of the cuts on her arms, the swelling in her face, and the Red-Hair Lady’s presence has made her frantic and desperate. “Please, please, I’ll be—”

When Red-Hair Lady whirls around this time, Cassie stops abruptly, squeezing her eyes shut and trying to squirm away from the oncoming blow. But she’s still not prepared enough. Red-Hair Lady’s palm hits her in the face, and pain sparks behind her eyes. “What’d I tell you?” She yanks Cassie from Big-Man’s arms, sending her sprawling on the ground. “Hey! Look at me!”

Cassie doesn’t want to look at her, she doesn’t want to look, she doesn’t want to—

Another slap, this time on the other side of her face. “Look at me!”

Cassie pries her terrified eyes open, every bone in her body vibrating in alarm.

“You don’t talk unless I say so, got it?” Her red hair swishes as she talks. “Got it?” Her voice is dangerous now, like quicksand, and Cassie nods furiously. “Good.”

She drags Cassie to the bad room, the bad room—not the bad room, no, no—and straps her to the table—the bad table, the bad table, not the bad table, she doesn’t want to hurt again—

There’s fingers at her arm, yanking up her sleeve, wiping the crease of her inner arm with something cold. Cassie is cold, so cold, and she shuts her eyes, crying silently and hiccuping. “Don’t move,” instructs Red-Hair Lady, and then there’s a prick in her arm.

“Ow!” Suddenly, there’s what feels like fire spreading over her skin, lighting her up and tearing her apart.

Cassie can hear something, something high-pitched and horrible and bad—she wants the bad to stop, it hurts so much, but it’s all she can feel and it’s swallowing her up—

Her throat is raw—she’s screaming, screaming, screaming for anyone, anything to help her.

But no one comes.

FRIDAY, APRIL 6 — 10:11 PM

“Holy sh*t, Chlo, pull over!”

Chloe Tanner jerks his head to the right, where her boyfriend, John, is pointing. “What?” Then she sees it: a car upside down, a mess of crumpled metal and red-spattered earth. “Oh, sh*t!” She yanks her car to the right, parking abruptly a few hundred feet away from the crash. There’s no police cars near it, or any people standing beside the car. What the hell happened here? Someone has to do something. What if there’s someone in there? John and Chloe rush out of the car. Shattered glass crunches beneath Chloe’s sneakers as she and John approach the vehicle. “Hello?” John announces, and Chloe runs to the front door.

There’s a dark-haired woman inside, blood spreading across the front of her lavender blouse, hung upside down by her seatbelt. Her face is startlingly flushed, probably from all the blood settling in her head, and her head dangles limply as Chloe opens the car door. “sh*t, sh*t! John, call 911!”

John slams his fingers into his phone, almost frantic. “Um—he-hello? There’s a car crash here—a lady’s i-in the front…” He steps over the scattered glass to stare at the woman.

As he talks to the 911 operator, Chloe presses her fingers to the woman’s neck. A faint, fluttering pulse meets her fingers, but that’s all she needs. “She’s still alive!” she shouts. “What do we do?”

John puts the phone on speaker and describes the physical state of the woman, stuttering out that she is upside down and he doesn’t know if they should move her.
“Don’t move her,” instructs the operator. “Find the source of the bleeding, if you can, and put pressure on it until we can get to you. It should only be a few minutes. Keep checking her breathing and her heart rate, okay? If it stops, I’ll need you to perform CPR on her. Do you know how?”

Already pressing her scarf to the woman’s slashed thigh, Chloe stammers, “Ye-yeah, I know how.”

Those few minutes seem like hours as Chloe keeps pressure on the gashes and John checks her heartbeat. Finally, the ambulance arrives and four paramedics in matching uniform pour out, walking firmly towards them with a stretcher and medical supplies. “We’ll take it from here,” says one, just as they reach the woman.

Chloe reaches for John’s hand and grips it tightly, backing away from her. They ride with her to the hospital, where the police interrogate them about what happened, but neither of them know enough to further the investigation. “We didn’t see anything,” Chloe assures the first officer, a woman with a blonde ponytail named Officer Bone. “Just found her, that’s all. I think it’d already been here a while by the time we got here.”

Officer Bone nods, scribbling something down. “Well, we’re really grateful you found her. If you hadn’t, she could just as easily be dead.”

Chloe gulps. If she hadn’t pulled over the car… If they hadn’t done anything… If John had been asleep… This horrible realization washes over her: this woman could have died. “Is she… Is she gonna be okay?”

Bone glances wearily behind her. “Her head looked pretty banged up, so I can’t tell you for sure…” She removes her hat. “But I have your contact information. I’ll keep you updated on her condition.” She sighs. “Are you sure you couldn’t find anything about her identity?”

Both John and Chloe answer with a simple “no.” The paramedics gave all the woman’s belongings to the police, and they didn’t find a wallet or a phone on her; there were no frantic police calls on missing middle-aged women, either.

Bone clears her throat. “Well, until we find something, she’s a Jane Doe until she wakes up or someone comes for her.”

As Officer Bone leaves to talk to the other policemen, Chloe slumps into one of the waiting room chairs. She hopes that this woman, whoever she is, will be okay.

FRIDAY, APRIL 6 — 11:21 PM

They spent the past few hours chatting with semi-drunk socialites and businessmen; Tony dazzled them with half-hearted tales of Iron Man’s adventures while Pepper approached the hosts with financial propositions.

Pepper looks sleek tonight, her strawberry-blonde hair pulled back into an elegant bun, and her co*cktail dress is a rich, deep purple that matches the color of Tony’s suit. Tony, to say the least, matches his elegant partner, a silk tie loose around his neck. Pepper has always been the more formal one, rarely able to tell a story about herself to someone she didn’t know well. From where he currently stands, Tony can hear her laugh as she chats about Tony and his bad habit of showing up late to everything. “I’ve started marking everything in his calendar an hour before they actually start, just so he’ll be on time!”

Tony grazes his hand along her waist, alerting her to his presence just as he appears beside her. He can hear the exhaustion in her voice. “Sorry, ladies,” he says, nodding to the other three women, “but I’ll just be borrowing Ms. Potts for a moment.”

As soon as they are out of hearing range of the other guests, Pepper sighs. “Thank God,” she says. “I don’t think I could’ve done that for much longer.” She kisses his cheek.

“What, are they boring you?”

She wrinkles her nose. “No, I’m just tired of socializing, at least for today.” That, at the very least, Tony can understand. Pepper had spent almost the entire day in meetings and making calls to various companies. Her eyes light up with something mischievous. “Come on, let’s get out of here!”

Tony stares at her in mock shock, taking on the richest accent he can muster. “Leave the gala? Oh, the scandal, my dear!”

Pepper stifles a giggle. “God, Tony, your British accent is the worst.”

He pouts as she hooks her arm around his and leads them towards the exit. “I thought it was awesome!”

“Awesomely terrible,” she reminds him. “Any British person within a ten-mile radius would be offended, I’m sure. And stop saying 'awesome.' You've been spending way too much time with Peter.”

Tony grins. “Pepper, my love, you wound me.”

She rolls her eyes, opening the door for him. “Come on, Shakespeare, let’s go find some pizza.”

This time, it’s Tony’s turn to break into a smile. “Pizza!”

FRIDAY, APRIL 6 — 11:43 PM

When Ty finally leaves, Julia goes upstairs with Cristian. The kids are already fast asleep, but they kiss each of them good night before heading back to their room. After Julia changes into some pajamas and gets into bed, Cristian climbs in beside her. “Piensas que nos dijo la verdad?” he asked softly. Do you think he told us the truth?

Julia nods. She’s lying on her side, facing him. “Ty may be an addict,” she replies, “but he’s not a bad kid. He wouldn’t lie about something like this, and, I mean, just look at him. He could barely talk, he was so…” She doesn’t know how to explain it, but she knows that look in his eyes well. Terrified. Distressed. Helpless. “...scared. You can’t fake that.”

Cristian pulls her closer to him, and he presses his face into her hair. “What are you gonna do, Julia?”

“It’s gonna be hard,” she confesses, “but I’ve gotta report it. I’ll leave him out of it—I don’t want him going back to prison—but there’s no way I can’t report this.” The people Ty cares for so much are drug addicts and ex-cons; the New York Police Department cares little for them. She’ll have to use her strong reputation as a high-ranking officer to advocate for Ty and his missing friends. And her missing brother. Charlie, she thinks immediately, and now she feels desperation clench around her heart. “I have to—I have to find my brother.” She tries not to think of all the horrible things that could have happened to him, but her mind barrels forward. “He’s my baby brother, I can’t—” Her voice cracks.

Cristian slides his arm around her waist and shushes her. “I know, I know. You’ll find him, I know you will.”

Julia prays to God that she will, too.

FRIDAY, APRIL 6 — 11:58 PM

Happy drives them to Pepper’s favorite pizza place, one that sells Chicago-style deep dish. It’s hard to forget that Pepper was a Chicagoan (honestly, she still is), for Chicago always seems to seep into her daily life, whether it be her odd taste in pizza, her obsession with the Chicago Cubs, or her uncanny ability to survive any cold weather without blinking.

And because Pepper craves deep dish pizza on a weekly basis, they’ve become intimately familiar with one pizza place in particular, one called Lou Malnati’s, but they are not familiar with the teenage girl at the register, who gapes unashamedly at them as they enter the building.

“Hey, order for pickup?” announces Pepper, smiling expectantly, “For Potts?”

The girl doesn’t move, simply staring, starstruck, at them. “Uh…”

Tony sighs. He doesn’t need another fangirl right now, not at eleven at night when all he wants is a dumb pizza. “Look, kid, can we just get the pizza?”

The employee next to her, one who has seen them countless times before and has grown used to their presence, announces, “Of course, Mr. Stark, right away, sir!” The employee slips into the back as the other girl stands with her mouth open.

But as he watches the girl’s face break into a blushing smile, he realizes she isn’t even looking at him. She's looking at Pepper. “M-Ms. Potts,” she stammers, her voice so high it’s almost a squeal, “I-I’m a huge fan of yours; I’ve loved you since I was little when I read that article about how you…” The girl is full-on rambling, spilling every fact she knows about Pepper, and Tony watches his fiancée’s smile grow wider with every word. Iron Man fans are like pebbles, commonplace, but Pepper Potts fans are something else entirely. “...and as the only female CEO in—and, I mean, of the most powerful company in New York? You’re amazing! An inspiration! I can’t believe you’re standing here, wow—” The girl adjusts her hijab anxiously, tugging at the edges. Her nametag reads AYOMI. “It's such a pleasure to—um—to see you—um, um—could I—do you think I could—um, maybe—”

Pepper, being the wonderfully empathetic woman that she is, reaches across the counter and places a calming hand on Ayomi’s starstruck shoulder. “A picture? Of course!”

Tony thinks the girl is going to faint, right then and there. Instead, however, Ayomi’s eyes brighten and she nearly trips over herself getting to the other side of the counter, just as the other employee returns with their pizza. “Thank you, thank you!” she gasps.

Tony almost bursts out laughing at the expression on Pepper’s face. Pepper Potts can stare down a roomful of angry reporters, counter death threats, and command all of Stark Industries, but in the end, she is just as nervous as the fan herself. The negative attention she receives as CEO of Stark Industries is miles away from this glowing praise she is receiving from the young woman standing in front of her.

Ayomi clears her throat. “Um, Mr. Stark, do you think you could…” She holds her phone out to him, already in the camera app.

Tony is, in a word, bewildered. He hasn’t been asked to take someone else’s picture since...well, ever. But nonetheless, he takes the phone and snaps a dozen photos of Pepper and Ayomi. He knows Pepper is beyond ecstatic to have this kind of attention, and that over-the-moon feeling is washing over him, now, too.

God, he loves this woman.

After finally getting the pizza and giving about four goodbye hugs to Ayomi, they head back to Stark Tower. By that time, they are starving, so they devour the pizza in the car.

“Watch the seats, watch the seats!” complains Happy. “I just got those cleaned.”

Pepper and Tony share a knowing look with each other, glancing down guiltily at the pizza sauce smeared on the seat between them. “Oh, yeah, definitely!” Pepper declares, as Tony tries to clean up the mess they’d made. “Seats are fine, Happy; you’ve got nothing to worry about.”

Happy gives a Scroogelike grunt, muttering under his breath. “Yeah, yeah.”

By the time they are back inside, kicking their shoes off, it’s midnight, and they slump in the bed together, Pepper literally groaning with delight. “I wanna go to sleep,” she mumbles into the pillow, “and never wake up again.”

Tony laughs. “Come here, baby, I’ll take your hair down. You don’t want to go to sleep like that.”

He gets a muffled moan in response.

Tony scoots up the bed on his knees. “Come on, Sleepy, turn over.” She flops onto her back, groaning in protest. He lifts her head into his lap so he can remove the bobby pins, one by one. “Wanna watch a movie?”

“Yeah,” she mumbles. “Something without people.”

“What, a nature documentary?” He plucks another pin out and tosses it on the nightstand.

Her eyes are still closed. “No… A cartoon. Something with little animals…”

Tony smirks. “A Disney movie? I’ve got just the thing.”

Before long, Finding Nemo is playing on the screen, and they’ve stripped out of their restricting gala outfits and into T-shirts, curled beneath the covers.

The best thing about their relationship is that it’s entirely beyond the physical, nothing like Tony’s previous relationships. Before Pepper, his dating pool had been entirely based on physical beauty and social status, even attainability, but not mutual compatibility. Obviously he’s attracted to Pepper, but it goes so far beyond that. With Pepper, he’s more himself then he’s ever been. He can watch dumb Disney movies with her, he can eat pizza at midnight with her, he can cry in front of her… He doesn’t need to impress her, and she doesn’t need to impress him. They know each other too well.

“He’s kinda like you,” Pepper mutters, yawning.

Tony snaps back to the present. “What? Who?”

Pepper looks so beautiful now, the ends of her mouth twitching into an amused smile. “The dad fish… What’s his name again? Merlin? Marlin?” She yawns again. “He loves his damn kid so much…”

Tony combs his fingers through her hair. “Pep, we don’t have a kid. That doesn’t—”

“Peter,” she interrupts, “is Nemo. Does something dumb, the world implodes on him, and eventually you’re there to save him.”

“Well, I don’t think—”

“Last December,” she continues, her eyes still closed, “you took him to see Hamilton with us.”

Tony snorts. “He’d been listening to the soundtrack nonstop! What was I supposed to do?”

“In March,” she says, ignoring him, “when he got shot in that robbery, you made him stay in the Medbay for the whole day, and you didn’t let him patrol for a week, even though it’d fully healed by the second day.”

“His body was still recovering!” Tony protests. “And—”

“Once a month, you take him to your favorite sandwich place.” She is sitting up now, blinking groggily at him.

“What’s so bad about that?”

Pepper rubs her eyes. “You only ever take me there, dumbass. Or Rhodey. You’ve never even mentioned it to Happy or anyone else.”

Tony’s face flushes pink. “Well, I mean, it’s personal, knowing that, and, uh—”

And still Pepper rattles on. “You let him pick the music in the car, you brought his lunch to school when he forgot it, you left an important meeting so you could go to his decathlon meet, you went out for ice cream with him when he had a fight with his friend, you always ask how he is, you’re always checking with his AI to make sure he’s okay, you—”

“Okay, okay!” Tony huffs. “You’re right, fine. It’s just like… If I had a kid, I’d want him to be like Pete, you know?” He sinks his face with the nearest pillow, groaning.

Pepper laughs beside him; what a privilege, he thinks suddenly, it is to hear Pepper Potts laugh. “Baby, Peter’s already your kid. You’re just too thick headed to see it. He’s here at least twice a week, Tony.”

Tony mumbles a fragmented response into the pillow. Pepper snakes an arm around his side, “C’mere,” she says, pulling him closer. “I’m cold.”

Tony welcomes her presence at his side; she snuggles into him, pressing her cold toes against his bare calf— “God, f*ck, Pepper, your feet are like ice! Keep those things to yourself, Elsa!

Drowsy, she giggles a little, clasping onto him tighter. He follows her freckled arm around his torso to hold her hand, and he turns onto his side so that her chest is pressed against his back. This is how they usually cuddle: Tony, the little spoon, and Pepper, the big spoon.

Pepper falls asleep first, snoring lightly against his chest. Their legs are intertwined, and Tony’s sure he’ll wake up with his feet asleep if he stays like this, so he gently shifts, untangling their limbs. In the background, Finding Nemo plays, and he mutes it with a quiet order to FRIDAY. As he watches, Marlin tries to convince the leader of a school of moonfish to tell him how to get to his son.

If I lost Peter, Tony thinks, I’d be a lot better at finding him than this dumb fish. Satisfied, he turns the television off and burrows beneath the covers, watching Pepper’s chest rise and fall in a deep sleep. What did he do to deserve a woman as amazing as her? He smiles to himself, closing his eyes. What did he do to deserve a kid as great as Peter?

Before long, he is snoring, too, slipping into the peaceful realm of sleep with his fiancée at his side.

SATURDAY, APRIL 7 — 2:04 AM

Scott’s wrists spike with pain, and he pauses to rub them, the action made awkward by the handcuffs locked around them. He’s not in the Chair anymore—he’s in a hard chair before a metal table, set with a laptop and other computer supplies. He’s got more freedom now, at least; his arms and legs are cuffed, but they aren’t attached to the chair so that he has enough freedom to work. It’s odd to him that the crushing pain of his mutilated legs has faded with the mission before him, fueled by his mind, the computer, and his throbbing hands. Well, they gave him a little painkiller a few hours ago, too, solely because he was too delirious with pain to work, so that helps. And they added some adrenaline to the mix, so Scott is wide awake. Charlie or American Psycho or whoever was right: the only thing Scott needs is his head and his hands.

Three times since he first arrived here, he has heard his little girl scream. It’s not anything like the false screeches in horror movies or Cassie’s usual happy squeals. It’s the sound of pain, horrific agony coursing through the air, and it’s so violent and terrible and sickening that when Scott hears it he can barely breathe.

The worst part about it is that he can’t see her, but he knows that’s her voice. He knows better than almost anyone on the planet what Cassie sounds like, even if it’s just a whimper or a sob. That’s his daughter. He can’t touch her, can’t hold her, can’t tell her a joke, can’t sing her a lullaby… It’s agonizing. Forget his legs—it’s like an entire chunk of his heart has been torn from his chest.

Scott knows there’s only one way to get Cassie out of here: doing what he’s told. Even if it means breaking dozens of laws and putting others in danger, he’ll do anything if it means that they’ll stop hurting Cassie. He never used to understand the blind, ultra-sacrificial love that parents held for their children when he was younger, but after he learned that Maggie was pregnant, he knew. He knew that he would do anything to protect his child.

Just knowing that Cassie is in pain now is putting his heart through a meat grinder; he types faster, clicking and hacking and typing until his fingers are a blur at the keyboard.

At the sound of the door at the end of the hallway, Scott jumps; he can’t help it. Last time that door opened, that sick f*ck, Renee, came through with his little girl. This time, he listens hard, typing faster than ever. If he shows any sign of slacking, they’ll make Cassie scream again. And he’ll do anything in the world to not hear that sound ever again.

It’s not Renee, Charlie, or Mason—his three main captors are busy getting high on the other side of the place—warehouse? Base? Building? Lair? He realizes quite suddenly that he has no idea where he is. He could be in a cave, for all he knows. There’s no windows, not that he can see, and the cold air seeping through the vents does nothing but tell him that they’ve got air conditioning.

There’s an almost eerie silence following the opening of the door, and then a thump, the all-too-familiar sound of a body hitting the ground, and fear prickles down Scott’s back. What if they caught another one of his loved ones: Maggie, Hope, Hank, or even Jim? The fear that overcomes him in that moment drains him of his energy. He’s barely clinging on to his composure as it is, but this… Then, vaguely, he remembers the first thing he was asked to do: hack into Tony Stark’s computer system and locate what Stark designated as “SKM7.” Scott discovered several hours ago that SKM7 was a moving target, which he found to be strange, but he figured it was a vehicle or Stark-created piece of technology. There’d been nothing in the files he’d hacked about SKM7 stating that it could be a person.

As the door to the room swings open and two of Charlie’s black-clothed guys drag a limp form between them, Scott understands with violent precision: SKM7 is a person. By the look of him, a young person. “No, no, no,” Scott croaks, panic splitting him. “No, no…”

Then there’s Charlie, leaning on the doorframe like he’s just won the Olympics, and high as a f*cking kite. He grins at Scott, and poorly masked aggression pours over his body. “Put him in the chair,” Charlie announced, his words a little slurred. “Now.”

As they lock him into the Chair, the one he was in only hours earlier, Scott’s horror augments. SKM7 is a pale teen with brown hair; his head is completely slack, as the men strap him in, and his eyes are closed. One of the men pushes his head back and checks his eyes for any sign of consciousness. Nothing. It’s unnerving how limp he is, like a rag doll. He’s a wiry kid, a little muscle on bones, and he’s got a wide face peppered with bruises. He’s wearing a Star Wars hoodie, a bright blue one with “Trust me, I’m a Jedi” printed across the front, but the sleeves, as well as his hands, are spattered with blood. Probably fourteen or fifteen, this kid… His youth is obvious in everything about him: his neon green shoes, his sweatshirt, his oddly colored jeans, his hair… He’s even got a math formula scribbled across the back of his hand. And the fact that he’s unconscious, bloodied, and locked to the Chair by his wrists, ankles, and torso makes everything worse. “He’s…” Scott gasps, and Charlie’s smile only widens. “He’s just a kid. You made me track down a… a… teenager? So you could kidnap him, too?”

Charlie shrugs. As he stalks towards Scott, every step threatening, Scott feels every hair on his body stand on end; his body screams, Danger! Danger! Get out! “Thanks, Lang,” Charlie says, ignoring the fact that there’s an unconscious fifteen-year-old behind them. “You did great.” He raises his hand—no, no, f*ck, no, he can’t take any more, he’ll break—and claps Scott heartily on the shoulder. “I should give you a raise.” He chuckles to himself.

Scott’s blood boils, and he tries to swallow the fury rising in his throat, but he can’t— “So kidnapping a seven-year-old wasn’t good enough for you? You had to get a fifteen-year-old, too? What the hell?”

“He’s sixteen,” Charlie snaps; his expression before was tight, like he trapped all his anger inside of his mouth, but now it’s exploded all over his face. “And this was all necessary, you dumb f*ck. I don’t go around kidnapping kids for fun.”

“Could’ve fooled me,” Scott growls, and Charlie hits him so hard that he sees stars.

“Don’t forget” —Charlie’s face glistens with sweat, and his eyes narrow— “that’s your pretty little seven-year-old I’ve got here. Next time you talk to me like that, I’ll take off one of her fingers, how’d you like that?”

Scott’s eyes widen, and his mouth bubbles up with blood and frantic pleas; Charlie backs away from him, muttering in disgust. “P-please, d-d-don’t—”

“You’ve got a new job, Lang,” interrupts Charlie, moving to stand beside Renee. He curls an arm around her shoulders, and she smirks. “If you do it right, your brat will be just fine.” Charlie smiles with his teeth this time, and Scott can see the drugged high leak into his too-wide grin. “With your help, we’re gonna change the world.”

SATURDAY, APRIL 7 — 2:46 AM

The door opens with a bang that seems to shake the room, and Tony jumps to his feet. Instinctually, he grabs his watch, slamming his fingers to the activation button that transforms it from a wristwatch to an Iron Man Gauntlet, raising his arm to—

“Peter?” says Pepper. She’s standing, too, but her hands are held out in comfort instead of aggression, her eyes trained on the figure who has now entered the room.

It’s Peter, there’s no denying. He’s drenched from head to toe; his brown hair is plastered against his forehead and his red hoodie is now a wet shade of scarlet. His jeans cling to his skinny legs. There’s a blend of blood and water on his forehead, and he’s shaking, trembling like a wet leaf, his chest heaving.

Immediately, Tony transforms his gauntlet back into a watch and approaches the kid carefully. He’s never seen Peter like this before—terrified, panicking, anxious—and it chills him to the bone. He’s shivering now, breathing hard, but the air whistles through his throat in a dry whine. “Kid?” he calls out, taking a careful step forward. Peter’s hands are on his head now, fisting tightly in his dark hair as though he’s about to tear it from the roots. His eyes are blown with panic, darting around, and he won’t focus on Tony. “Kid, look at me.” Tony locks eyes with Pepper; her expression betrays the concern and fear that he feels. “Peter.” Nothing. He tries again. “Pete, kiddo, it’s me. What happened?”

Pepper moves forward, reaching out towards the kid, and alarm bells crash through Tony’s head. “Don’t,” Tony snaps, startling even himself with his bluntness, and Pepper immediately stops. Tony knows better than anyone what being mentally absent means for someone with superpowers; he doesn’t need another Bucky Barnes on his hands.

After Peter’s arms finally drop, and his gaze lifts to Tony’s, the whole world seems to stop. “M-Mr. Stark?”

Tony’s shoulders slump in relief, and he takes another step towards Peter, still cautious. “Yeah, it’s me. You okay, kiddo?”

Peter presses his palm against his forehead, looking a little shocked when it comes back bloody. “Yeah, I just…”

Tony has never felt this worried before; anxiety cuts through him, hot and sharp. What happened to his kid? “Are you okay?” A million questions collide in his mind. Who did this to you? What could scare you like this?

But he chokes them all down as Peter stammers, staring at the newfound blood stemming from his head. “I’m bleeding…”

f*ck, this can’t be good. Something is wrong, gut-wrenchingly so, and Tony knows it. Peter can barely recognize the pain he is in, let alone the fact that he is bleeding, soaking wet, and standing in the middle of Tony’s kitchen. “Let’s sit down, okay, kiddo?” By the time Peter blinks in confused recognition, Tony has moved all the way to the kid, scanning him for further injury and guiding him to the kitchen table by placing a hand on his back—

Peter jerks away from him so violently that even Pepper startles, and the kid transforms from mentally absent to a terrified mess, his body vibrating in fear. But instead of attacking with his webshooters or hyper-reflexes like Tony expected, he curls in on himself, squeezing his eyes shut. What the hell? This is not the result of combat trauma or too much time in the field. This… This is something deeper, darker, sourced in something more sinister than Tony originally thought. “Okay, okay,” says Tony, thinking f*ck, f*ck, what the hell is happening— “You’re okay, Pete, you’re just fine; no touching, okay? I got it, I won’t touch you, you’re safe...”

He continues talking, coaxing Peter into at least a sliver of safety, until finally Peter opens his eyes again, gasping, “So-sorry, Mr. Stark, I’m sorry…” He looks pale, too pale, and it’s now that Tony realizes his lips are blue. f*cking blue.

Tony’s heart twists violently. “You’re okay, kid, there’s nothing for you to be sorry for.” Tony’s left arm is throbbing now, that dull ache that always resounds when his anxiety spikes, and he tries to control the flutter of panic in his chest. “J-just come over here, okay? We’ll sit by the fire, you can warm up a little—you’re looking a little cold, Pete.”

Peter wraps his arm around himself as if suddenly noticing the fact that his teeth are chattering; glancing nervously at Tony, he nods slowly, following the man to the fireplace at the other end of the room. “FRIDAY,” says Tony, trying to stay calm for the sake of the kid, “turn up the heat, please.”

Thankfully, FRIDAY remains silent in her obedience, avoiding possibly startling the kid. Tony turns around to share a worried look with Pepper, then faces the kid again. Peter’s relaxing a little in the warmth of the fire, and before he knows it, Pepper’s beside him, holding out a blanket and a fresh change of clothes: Tony’s sweatshirt and a pair of sweatpants Peter had left with them weeks ago. “Peter, honey?” she says, her voice gentle. “I brought you some dry clothes, do you want to—”

“No,” Peter croaks, suddenly tense again. “No.”

Peter’s clothes are dripping wet, and Tony knows how hypothermia works. He has to get him out of those wet clothes. “Kid?” he says, worry lacing his features. “You wanna take off your hoodie, at least, change into somethi—”

“No!” This time, Peter’s response is frantic, almost wild, and Tony immediately regrets his suggestion. “No, p-please—”

Horror flashes through Tony’s head; everything comes to a screeching halt. Please. It’s just one word, but it’s enough for Tony to know that something bad happened to his kid, something that brought Peter to such a point of suffering that he begged for it to stop. Tony wants to help him, to hug him, to hold him and tell him everything’s gonna be okay, but he can’t. Peter won’t let him touch him, and Tony’s not planning on violating his kid’s personal space when he’s scared. Tony’s not Howard; he won’t do that to Peter. Only one question flashes through his mind, burning hot: who hurt Peter? This whole situation is f*cking terrifying Tony, and dark thoughts needle at the back of his mind, poking sharply—don’t be stupid, Tony, you know the symptoms, you know what happened to him, why else would he be so scared of taking off his clothes—and Tony’s hands clench into horrified, tense fists. No. Not Peter. No. He refuses to believe that. It’s too horrible to think about.

The kid shivers, his teeth clacking like typewriter keys.

Tony doesn’t want to force the kid to do anything, not in this fragile state, but he’s becoming seriously anxious about Peter’s physical health. He has to focus on something he can fix, and right now, Tony can help Peter stay healthy. “FRIDAY,” he orders, as Peter takes the blanket and wraps it around himself with trembling hands, “Peter’s vitals, please.”

“Peter is currently experiencing a body temperature of 96 degrees, sir,” she responds carefully, “and rising. His heart rate is elevated. Otherwise, vitals are normal. He is in no immediate danger, but his brain waves signal significant distress.”

Peter doesn’t even look up at the sound of the familiar AI. He just stands by the fire, shivering. Tony feels like there are two spools of thread tightening around his lungs, one tugging him towards Peter to comfort him, the other yanking him away, reminding him of the expression of absolute fear on Peter’s face when Tony touched him earlier. Tony gulps and presses the palm of his hand against his quickening heart. He has to help him. Although FRIDAY told him that Peter’s life isn’t in danger, he can’t keep himself from panicking. Significant distress, he echoes. Significant f*cking distress. He’s never been in a situation like this before; Tony knows how to handle aliens, terrorists, and Stark Industries, but not the distraught, trembling, terrified mess of a kid in front of him. His kid, no less.

At the sound of a muffled whimper, Tony’s head snaps up to find Peter Parker sobbing, snot and tears and all, into his hands, his shoulders quaking. Peter Parker, this f*cking invincible kid that he loves so much, crumples like a tin can without warning, collapsing to his knees.

And Tony can’t do anything about it. He can’t even touch Peter. Instead, he kneels beside the kid, whispering comforting phrases to him, things he would want to hear if he was having a breakdown. “Hey, kiddo, you’re okay, you’ll be okay… You’re safe with me, just breathe, Pete, you’re gonna be fine...”

If this was a Lifetime movie, Peter would be hugging Tony now, embracing him like a son would do to a father, and he would tell him everything. Then he and Peter would ride off into the sunset, vowing to chase down the bad guy and lock him up for life.

But this isn’t a movie. This is reality. So instead, Tony watches in anxious helplessness as his kid sobs, curling himself into a tight, lonely ball of shame before him. There is no sarcastic bravado or odd humor left in the boy: only Peter, his soul laid vulnerable before Tony’s eyes—

—and Tony is gasping, straining for breath, and there’s a hand on his back, rubbing soothingly. “Bad dream, baby?”

Tony is still grappling with the fact that his heart is racing at a million miles an hour, and it takes him a moment to realize that Pepper is sitting up with him, trying to comfort him.

And the thing is, it wasn’t a nightmare. That moment had been all too real. Peter had arrived without any warning on a cold, rainy day in March, dangerously quiet and unable to be touched without a violent reaction. Tony’s anxiety had never taken such a drastic turn. In the end, Pepper and Tony discovered, through broken sentences and lost whispers, that a man who Peter had known as a child, was back on the streets of Queens. His name is Skip, Peter had said, his voice deadly quiet, and I never… I didn’t think I’d ever have to see him again. They weren’t able to get anything else out of him, and after that he’d come back the next week like nothing had happened, laughing like he hadn’t been sobbing on the floor of Tony’s kitchen only seven days prior.

That was, by far, the worst moment of Tony’s parenthood, if he could call it that. Watching his kid suffer like that… Being completely unable to help him was like being set on fire.

Tony is calmer now, and Pepper’s hand is over his chest, making sure that his heartbeat slows down to normal. “You okay?” she asks, watching his expression carefully.

Tony’s left arm aches, and he grabs it subconsciously, rubbing his throbbing wrist. He doesn’t bother lying to Pepper; she knows him too well. “I dreamed about Peter,” he explains. If he wasn’t still reeling from the vivid dream, he would have cracked a joke about Finding Nemo and Pepper’s persistent fatherhood quips, but he’s too drained at the moment to do any of that.

“About what happened in March?” she suggests, giving him a knowing look.

Tony nods, dabbing at the sweat on his forehead.

“Do you want to… Do you want to talk about it?”

“No…” He swung his legs over the side of the bed. “I’m just gonna go to the lab, get my mind off of things.” He picks up the clock: 2:57 AM. “Oh, sh*t, Pepper, I’m sorry for waking you up, I know you have to go at like five, I didn’t mean—”

“Hey,” she says with a smile, tapping a finger against his chin, “you know what I always say. You can’t be sorry for things you can’t control, Tony. And you can’t control having a bad dream, right?”

That tightness in his chest loosens at her words, and he takes her hand, bringing it to his lips. He mumbles a “right” against her knuckles.

After Pepper crawls back into bed, Tony pulls on a sweatshirt, some plaid pants, and a pair of flip-flops before heading downstairs. Since his mansion was destroyed in 2012, he moved into Stark Tower; it became the height of his technological prowess and intellectual ability, but after it was compromised several times (and after returning them only reminded him of the broken pieces of the former Avengers team), he sold the Tower and moved into the new Avengers facility. They’ve constructed it and reconstructed it dozens of times, but finally Tony can call it his home, not just his company property. It’s located in upstate New York, in a stretch of lush land surrounded by trees and water, and there are separate spaces for every use, all connected by winding brick walkways. There’s a massive warehouse for storing equipment (connected to a lab for him to work in), a main building where he and Pepper can do official business, an apartment complex for the Avengers (if, for some reason, they ever got back together), a separate house for him and Pepper, and several other facilities. They’d decided long ago that it was healthier for them to divide Tony’s home life and his work life. He used to spend days in his lab, surviving off of coffee and protein bars to finish projects, but now he almost always sleeps in bed with Pepper unless one of them is gone on a work trip. It’s new, specifically for Tony, to have a home that doesn’t belong to Stark Industries, and it’s life-changing. He spends time with his family now, just watching movies with Rhodey and cooking with Pepper and playing dumb video games that Peter shows him, just because he can.

Now, he walks from his house to his lab; the grass is damp, tickling the sides of his feet. The moist air is refreshing, and his head is almost cleared in the five-minute walk to the workshop.

Inside is his refuge: tables upon tables of machine parts, chemical compounds, and computers. He can stay in here for hours at a time, simply tinkering. Tony settles down at one of the worktables, immediately picking up one of his in-progress works: the gunfire sensory system that he and Peter had been creating the night before. He fiddles around with it for a while; giving himself something technological to do usually helps him out of a funk. But even editing the code on Project Kevlar can’t distract him. Not when he’s thinking about Peter.

He contemplates calling Peter, just to make sure he’s okay, but it’s still three in the morning. Besides, Peter barely sleeps as it is without early morning phone calls from his mentor.

So instead, he pops an earpiece into his left ear and orders FRIDAY to call Rhodey.

It takes five calls to reach him. “Tony, it’s three fifteen.” His voice is a low, tired growl.

Tony relaxes in his chair. “I do have a clock,” he quips, but his voice is shaky. “Just couldn’t sleep, Rhodey.”

A series of shuffles. “Are you okay?”

His head throbs. “Just peachy, Mom. Tell me a joke.” Pepper would’ve made him talk about it, to his therapist or to her, but Rhodey always tries to cheer him up instead. It’s the best thing about him; Rhodey knows that Tony’s a f*cked up guy, but when they’re together, Tony feels normal.

Rhodey, detecting that familiar, anxious quiver in his voice, doesn’t question Tony’s request. He starts telling a funny story about a cadet and a dog, and Tony loses himself in it, wanting to think of anything else. Rhodey talks until Tony’s mind is numb, disconnected from his nightmare. “...don’t you think, Tony?”

Tony laughs weakly. “You know, your jokes really don’t get better with age.”

“Think so? Bet you couldn’t tell one better.”

“Rhodey, at least when I tell a story, people don’t start snoring after the first—”

A wild screech shakes his eardrums, so violent and f*cking loud that his whole body goes taut like a bowstring, going painfully rigid in a failed attempt to escape the sound—

—pain hammers his head, but it’s only a vague afterthought compared to the horrible f*cking sound quaking his brain like a speaker on steroids, like an MMA fighter shaking a rag doll—

—colors flashing above him, pale blue and strawberry blonde; his brain is melting, exploding in sound, he can’t breathe, he can’t think, he can’t—

—it dies to a dull roar, and Tony’s whole body uncoils as he comes back to his senses. His cheek against cold floor, thin fingers prying his hands away from his ears, two overlapping voices calling his name—

He can still feel the sound there, like his head’s been filled with a thousand rubber hammers, and somehow he manages to uncoil himself and focus on the woman in front of him. Pepper. “Tony! Tony, look at me!” He blinks; a high-pitched whine oscillates in his eardrums, and he sways with the noise as he tries to right himself.

There’s a sound in his left ear, another voice. “Tony? What’s going on? Can you hear me? Tony!”

He swallows, for the first time since the noise began, and the action itself feels painful. He blinks (once, twice, three times), and finally he can see Pepper in front of him, trying to meet his wandering gaze. “f*ck” is the first thing he says, through gritted teeth. “My head…” He shifts, trying to sit up.

“Don’t get up, Tony,” she warns, pushing him back down. “Just take a second.”

He reaches up and touches his left ear, where the earpiece is still lodged. “Tony?” Rhodey prompts.

“Yeah…” Tony winces. He can barely hear his own voice. “I’m fine, I’ll call you back.” He clicks the end button on the earpiece and pulls it out, still stunned.

As he comes back to his senses, Pepper starts to explain, saying that FRIDAY had been compromised and set off a blaring alarm once her systems recognized an intruder. “That thing in your ear,” she says, picking it up, “played the sound a little too loud.”

Tony nearly laughs out loud. Here he thought that he was going crazy, that he was suffering for all those weapons he’d fired, but it had just been FRIDAY’s odd alarm system. He groans, the ringing in his head now a dull whine. “FRIDAY, what happened? Compromised?”

His lovely AI responds only with unnerving silence. Pepper helps Tony into a sitting position, examining his ear. “Yeah, Tony,” she states, “FRIDAY hasn’t been responding. Not since the alarm went off.”

“Then how’d you turn it off?” he asks, confused.

Pepper shrugs. “You’re the artificial intelligence guru; she just turned off, and she hasn’t said anything since.”

Usually, Tony would be annoyed that FRIDAY had simply shut down like this, but it’s a well-received distraction from the Peter-heavy thoughts buzzing in his head. “Well, I guess I’ve got a job to do, then.”

Once Pepper ensures that Tony is okay, save a little hearing loss, she heads out for her next meeting, one with a Chinese computer company in Boston. “I should be back by this evening, okay?” She kisses his forehead. “Take care of yourself,” she reminds him. “I know FRIDAY’s a little messed up, but that doesn’t mean you can just forget to eat, okay? I’ll send Happy to check on you around lunch. And get Cho to check out that ear. Don’t do anything stupid.”

Tony, back in his spinning lab chair, turns to look at her. “Stupid? Me? Baby, I would never.”

Pepper smirks at him, but it’s playful, and Tony finds himself still picturing her face even once she’s left the workshop. Despite the fact that it’s almost four in the morning, and there’s a little trickle of blood coming from his ear, he still feels a little safer, just because Pepper is here with him.

SATURDAY, APRIL 7 — 4:12 AM

Peter’s mouth is a bitter handful of acidic soap, leaking down his throat and churning in his stomach. There’s a horrible pain in his lower abdomen, spreading wide inside of him, and every inch of his skin buzzes with paralysis. His limbs are heavy; his bones must be made of steel now—he can’t move them, he can’t move at all.

He forces his eyes open, but his eyelids are heavy, too heavy, and he only recognizes flashes of bland color before they shut again. There’s a voice bouncing around him, one he recognizes, male and tired and scared.

Pain dances through his skull—iron dancers with sharpened heels—and a sound escapes him, something low and guttural. He’s so far from reality that he’s floating, but now he’s sinking back down to Earth. He can feel something cold and bad inside him, and he fights it, shifting and stirring and shaking. He tries to talk, to plead for help, to cry out, but his words tumble out of his mouth like loose marbles, and then the background ramblings of the familiar voice stop, overlapped by newer, sharper voices.

“He’s…”

Peter’s hair tugged to pull his head back. Hands on his face.

“Watch…”

Exhaustion washing over him. Cold fingers prying at his eyes, open, open, open.

“…but already…would…dangerous…”

Someone fumbling at his sleeve, ripping. A foreign voice in his ear.

“Doesn’t matter…give…more…”

A pinch inside of his elbow. The world tilting before his half-closed eyes. A rush of cold, and then everything is blurry.

“…going…”

Peter’s eyes roll into the back of his head, and jagged darkness swallows him.

Chapter 2: i’m just a kid

Summary:

In the center is a chair with its back to him, where a dark-haired person sits, their entire body obscured by the chair. Tony hates the way his skin crawls; it’s like all his nerve endings are on fire. Who the hell is in that chair? The camera moves with a jerk, transferred by someone’s shaky grip around the whole chair until it settles in front of it—and all the blood drains out of Tony’s face.

Notes:

chap title from 'kids' by current joys

CW: blood, violence, violence against a child, torture, panic, child abduction.

Chapter Text

SATURDAY, APRIL 7 — 4:55 AM

FRIDAY is f*cked.

Tony, for all of his engineering expertise, can’t understand what could have made her shut down like this. FRIDAY is his, after all; how could something so easily break her? He installed that alarm system to let him know whenever someone tried to hack her, but no one had ever been successful. It would take state-of-the-art computer gear, intelligence that rivaled his, incredible perseverance, years of hacking experience, and overwhelming knowledge of computers, coding, electrical engineering, and artificial intelligences. Who could have done this? FRIDAY is pliant now, easily moldable to whoever (probably a teenage hacker or some rival company) wants to use her.

He takes another gulp of coffee and rubs his forehead. He’s been working for about an hour now, and he’s got nothing. He spins to face a glowing blue screen that’s supposed to display FRIDAY’s error messages; it’s empty. FRIDAY’s silence is unnerving, but not dangerous... yet. Honestly, he’s impressed by whoever managed to hack her; it takes a lot. He might have to hire them when he’s done tracking them down and giving them an Iron Man bitchslap.

He smirks to himself as he types more, checking FRIDAY’s basic output before the incident. Everything looks normal.

4-7-18 2:56 - TURN ON MAIN LIGHT - BEDROOM - DIM

4-7-18 3:01 - UNLOCK FRONT DOOR - HOUSE

4-7-18 3:02 - TURN ON PATH LIGHTS - HOUSE TO LAB - DIM

4-7-18 3:10 - UNLOCK FRONT DOOR - LAB

4-7-18 3:26 - CALL “rhodeybear”

4-7-18 3:43 - ALERT 13C - DIGITAL INTRUDER

4-7-18 3:46 - MAIN SYSTEMS COMPROMISED - INITIATE PROTO—

From that point forward, FRIDAY’s output is eerily absent. As Tony Stark’s AI, she was built to respond to any situation; if she had more time, she might’ve switched all security to manual controls and re-encrypted all of her systems so that Tony could at least provide safety for the compound, but she didn’t have the time before something halted her actions completely.

He still has access to all of his Stark Industries and personal files, as well as all of her engineering capabilities; through various tests, he recognizes that FRIDAY has lost all of her autonomy, but her basic foundations of code, secure information, and technological ability still stand.

Tony sets basic parameters to keep all of the physical security systems intact, and then he gets to work. He has to find out who attacked FRIDAY.

SATURDAY, APRIL 7 — 7:03 AM

The kids are asleep when Julia leaves for work that morning, but Cristian’s awake making them breakfast. “Up already, Julia?” he asks.

“Yeah.” She pours herself a cup of coffee, takes a sip. “I’m opening up Charlie’s investigation today. Keep an eye on the kids, okay?”

He’s behind her now, and he puts his hand on her arm. They share a quick, sweet kiss. “Of course I will. Be safe.”

There’s a lingering tone of worry behind his words—he’s worried about what will happen when she finds Charlie. “Don’t worry.” Julia kisses him again. “He’s my brother, Cristian. He would never hurt me.”

Julia walks into the police station an hour earlier than usual—she needs time to formulate her case for the missing drug addicts. By the time she’s had her morning coffee and settled down at one of the main computers to draft her proposal, her boss, Lieutenant Huang, tracks her down. “You’re here early, Sergeant,” he says, shoving his hands into his pockets. “What’s wrong?”

The worry in her mind grows, folding over itself. “Nothing, Lieutenant,” she lies. “Just thought I’d finish up some work from yesterday.”

Huang gives her a hard stare. “Don’t lie to me, Paz. You’re about as good at that as you are at getting here early.”

Julia checks herself, quickly; she straightens her back, adjusts her uniform, and clasps her hands behind her back. “Sir,” she announces, “I’d like permission to start a case concerning the recent strain of missing drug addicts here in Queens.”

Huang visibly stiffens at her request, but she can’t tell what’s running through his mind—disbelief, anger, frustration? Something flashes across his face (annoyance, perhaps), and he frowns at her. “And how did you come across this idea, Sergeant?”

Julia clears her throat once (it’s always been a nervous tic of hers) and then explains, saying that she got an anonymous tip about the subject from a rehabilitated drug addict; Julia conveniently forgets to mention that Ty, her tip, fell back into drugs only a few weeks after rehab. “He was terrified when I spoke to him, Lieutenant.” Her voice is stern, as though she’s talking to one of her children instead of her boss. She tries to drain the harshness out of her voice, but it’s so difficult when she’s talking about her family, her brother. “Many of his colleagues have gone missing in the past weeks, the most recent being two days ago, sir.”

“And none of these were reported,” he adds, the assumption clear on his face, “because those who would report them missing fear legal repercussions.”

“Exactly, sir.”

As Lieutenant Huang drops into silence, she watches his expression carefully. She knows the thoughts that must be flitting through his mind: that drug addicts go missing all the time, that they probably suffered from a group overdose, that drugs were unpredictable, that she had nothing to worry about… But when he looks at her again, she only finds mild exhaustion in his eyes. “I’ll let you pursue this addict case,” he says finally, “as long as you keep up with your other work—”

Relieved gratitude floods her body. “Oh, thank you, sir, I—”

“—and take on a new child abduction case.”

Her brain stutters to a hesitant halt; she clears her throat again, anxiety sliding down the back of her neck. “Child abduction…”

“I know you’re not a fan, but I’m really understaffed right now, Paz, what with that break-in recently—”

“Not a fan ?” Julia repeated. She’d never once taken a child abduction case, and everyone at the station knew it. As a mother of two young children, she could hardly look at a child abduction case without thinking about Leila or Jaime in the same position. She adamantly refused child abduction and exploitation cases, mostly because they became so persona, even if she never did field work for the case. “No. No. Absolutely not. Huang, you know I don’t take those kinds of cases; put me on something else.”

Huang holds out a glowing tablet to her, his grip light. “Take this case, or lose your addict one. It’s your choice.”

Julia’s mouth goes dry; she presses her lips together, releasing her hands from their irontight grip behind her back. She only has one thought: I have to save my brother. Fear, courage, skill… It doesn’t matter. She has to find Charlie. “Fine,” she grunts, snatching the tablet from him to read the first line: Case 854-13V - Child Abduction: Cassandra Marie Paxton-Lang, Age Seven.

This is going to be a long couple of weeks, Julia knows. But at least now she has a true way to find her missing brother. Now, at least, she can breathe easy.

SATURDAY, APRIL 7 — 7:49 AM

Hope arrives at the hospital the following morning, nearly frantic with worry. Maggie relayed the past twenty-four hours to her in voicemails, but she didn’t get any of her calls until that morning. “I was asleep,” she explains. “I leave my phone off, I’m so sorry…” How odd. Hope feels gentler now, less fire-and-brimstone, softened by the blow of Cassie’s kidnapping in strange contrast to her usual hard self. The shield Hope constructs around herself constantly is gone. “And Cassie…”

“Where’s Scott?” Maggie snaps, startling Hope out of her dazed, depressive state. “Is he coming?”

Already vulnerable, Hope’s guilt spills across her face like red paint on a white wall, flooding her skin. “I… I didn’t know… I…”

“What?” Hope (she curses herself for her weakness) is frustratingly inept right now, wringing her hands. “What happened? Where is he?”

Hope glances at Jim, helpless. “I’m sorry.”

Jim shifts uncomfortably in his chair. “Hope, please,” he says calmly. “Tell us what you know.”

Hope’s frantic hand movements slow, and finally she confesses. “I haven’t seen Scott in three days,” she begins, her voice weakened by guilt. “We had this big fight, and, um—sh*t, sorry-” She rubs at her watery eyes, trying her best not to break down in front of the couple. “He… He left to go stay with Luis, just for a few days, and he stop—stopped answering my phone calls, but I thought he—that he was just ignoring me, but when y- you called, I-I, sorry, I—” Hope is fully crying now, tears taking turns treading down both cheeks, her face thrumming with anguish, but strangely, she’s pretending that she isn’t, turning and brushing away each tear with a messy swipe of her hand. “I went to go—to go check on him, ‘cause he wouldn’t answer even when I mentioned Ca-Cassie, and I called Luis whe-when he wouldn’t open the door, and” —Hope clenches her hands into tight fists— “he told me he-he hadn’t been at his apartment in a while, that he was out staying with some family, and so I broke in, and it was—” She gulps. “I-it was a wreck, there was blood on the kitchen table, and Scott was-he was gone. Someone took him.”

Maggie slumps back in her hospital bed; Hope winces, letting the blow of her words echo in the sterilized air.

“I already—I told the police,” Hope continues, quieter. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”

SATURDAY, APRIL 7 — 10:20 AM

It’s too quiet in his cell; Scott’s never done well with silence. He’s the kind of person who will cram his brain with loud music whenever he’s alone, stammer about the newest Game of Thrones episode whenever there’s an awkward gap in conversation. It’s part of why being under house arrest was so difficult for him. His mind starts to make up noises to fill the silence: faint screams, violent hisses, and frantic whispers. At first, he thinks he’s going crazy, but soon he realizes that most of the sounds are coming from the mostly unconscious teenager in the chair only a few feet away from him.

Guilt pangs in Scott’s chest, bouncing off of his ribs. The kid’s moving his head now, mumbling incoherently; a string of saliva slides down his chin, and all of a sudden, his eyes go comically wide before he blinks lethargically, lids closing over bloodshot eyes. His face goes through several expressions—confusion, irritation, panic, pain, determination, anger, frustration, back to panic—before falling slack again, succumbing to whatever drug sloshes through his veins.

Scott gulps down his guilt; it’s his fault this kid is in this mess in the first place, but he had no choice. They would have tortured Cassie again, and he can’t… Memories claw at the surface of his brain, of screams that set his blood on fire and pain that rocks his entire body.

He can’t do that again.

Mason sits in the corner, nodding off, a McDonald’s burger in one hand and his hammer in the other. Whenever his head dips too low, heavy with sleep, he jerks awake again, glares cautiously at Scott, and takes another bite of his burger.

It’s confusing how human Mason is. Scott would have expected a blockbuster villain with a hockey mask and a pair of red eyes to be his torturer, not this six-foot-one man with a hooked nose who eats McDonald’s, chews his nails ragged, and flinches wildly whenever Charlie enters the room. He’s a brute, for sure, but he’s not sad*stic or psychopathic. He’s just scared. Strangely enough, Scott sees familiar terror reflected in his enemy’s eyes; Mason’s just as chillingly afraid of Charlie as Scott is.

So when Charlie shoves the door open and gargles an order at Mason, Scott doesn’t miss the way the smaller man scrambles to his feet with trembling knees. “Charlie—he’s been working hard this whole time, I swear, I made sure he was going fast as he—”

“Fine,” he snaps back, shoving the man aside. His voice is tighter now, agitated, thrumming with dark determination. “Lang?”

As Charlie’s eyes settle on him, near-hysterical alarm nails between his ribs. “I—well, um, after shutting his AI down, I got a—um, connection, to all the electronic devices in—um, in Stark’s lab, but I can’t get—um, override the computer screens without disabling all, um, all the computer’s functions—but I can override the TV, but it won’t have audio…”

Charlie gives him a sour look.

“...b-but with the equipment, um, that we have, we could just use the audio from the phone,” Scott finishes. “We could hook up the microphone? Th-then we could, uh, he could hear everything in the room?”

“How long?”

Scott scrapes his mind for a number, anything he can give to Charlie to tame the beast for a few seconds. He’s really high now, his pupils gaping with whatever drug he’s on, so every movement he makes is on the offense. “An hour, maybe less.”

“Fine. An hour, or your kid—”

“No, no, no—an hour, that’s all I need, I swear.”

Charlie scowls, turns on his heel, and leaves the room.

Scott’s chest tightens.

He gets to work.

SATURDAY, APRIL 7 — 11:11 AM

Tony is an hour into a deep hack of FRIDAY’s software when everything goes black. “What the hell ?” He backtracks for something he could have done to interfere with the electrical wiring of the lab, but he wasn’t anywhere near that part of FRIDAY’s systems. What the f*ck just happened?

His computers are dizzyingly quiet. No lights, no tech… Even the quiet hum of air conditioning is gone. DUM-E and U are both eerily still, not even a beep or a whir to reassure Tony that they’re still awake. Tony’s never experienced silence quite this loud; the absence of his machines, the beating heart of his lab, is surreal. He spams the on-off button on every piece of tech in the room: his computers, his television, the coffee machine… He taps the screen of his StarkPhone, confused at its obstinate inactivity. Nothing but darkness, silence, and Tony slamming his fingers against unresponsive keys until—

—the grating purr of static from the television in the corner of the room, buzzing incessantly; as the only noise in the entire lab, it’s impossible to miss, so as soon as it turns on, Tony scrambles over to it, searching for an explanation to the sudden shutdown in the most technologically advanced hub in New York, probably in the United States.

Before Tony’s eyes, the tangled black and white dots blink (once, twice) before the screen whites out completely and the audio cuts out. “The hell…” Tony mutters, trying to adjust the channel setting on the TV. The lights begin to flicker on, blinking erratically for a minute before returning to normal, followed by the air conditioning, the computer systems, and the rest of the electricity. A surge of euphoria rushes through him. “Thank God!” FRIDAY isn’t back yet, still dead to Tony’s commands, but at least he has his tech back.

The phone’s loud beeping interrupts his thoughts, but Tony ignores it and goes back to work. He doesn’t really care who’s calling him—he’s tending to FRIDAY right now, and no one actually calls his lab except for Happy, occasionally, and other workers in Stark Industries. They can wait. Everyone in his family (Pepper, Peter, Rhodey, Happy, etc) know to call him on his cell phone for any real emergencies.

As Tony forages through his computer’s history to discover what caused the blackout glitch, the phone beside him chimes again, bleating maddeningly. “FRIDAY, mute—” He stops. f*ck, right, FRIDAY’s gone radio-silent. He groans and rubs his fingers against his aching temples. How the hell did this happen?

Fed up, he picks up the phone at last. It’s probably just Happy, calling to check on him. “Tony’s Pizza,” he grumbles. “May I take your f*cking order?”

A male voice on the other end. “Stark.”

“Yeah, I know” —Tony types furiously into his computer— “the blackout wasn’t ideal, and FRIDAY’s having a little trouble, but we’re doing our best, she just needs some time to—”

“Stark.” Again, this time louder.

Tony’s barely listening. “—rest; I found something that could lead us to whatever knocked her out—”

“Stark.”

“What?” Tony snaps. It suddenly dawns on him that the man on the other line calls him Stark. Not Tony, not Tones, not Mr. Stark, not sir. Not even boss, like FRIDAY would. “Who the hell is this?”

A snort, halfway between a laugh and a sneeze. “I’m Charlie,” he announces. “And before you ask, no, I don’t work for you.”

Dread coils in Tony’s gut. Everything is off : the man’s voice is too slippery, his words too careful. “Then get off the line, moron. I don’t know how you got access to this number, but it’s not—”

“I called you a week ago, motherf*cker.” A turgid chuckle. “Don’t you remember me?”

It all dawns on Tony at once. He does recognize this guy’s voice, from a strange call he got late one night while working in his lab.

Tony doesn’t usually listen to the extravagant rants of his late-night fans, especially ones that sound stoned up to their necks, but only two seconds after introducing himself over the phone, he says something that made Tony freeze. “Do you know anything about the organization called HYDRA?”

Tony pauses, his thumb inches away from the END CALL button. His thoughts skid to a blurry halt. HYDRA. “What?”

“HYDRA,” repeats the man on the other end. Tony can’t remember what his name is; he’s too busy reeling in shock. How does this stoned Tony Stark fan know anything about the über-secret paramilitary terrorist group that has been wreaking havoc on the Avengers’ lives for years? “I mean, sh*t, you’re Iron Man. I think you know what I’m sayin’, don’t you?”

“Sure,” Tony responds. He’s pacing now, wearing holes into the floor of his lab. “Let’s say I know about HYDRA. What’s it to you?”

Tony can almost hear the smile in the man’s voice. “HYDRA was a cult,” he explains, “but they were f*cking brilliant, too. They used some kind of energy source—like yours, your arc tech, right? Called it the Tesseract. Back in their prime years, they had these weapons…” A contented sigh. “f*ck, they were incredible, Stark. Could f*cking disintegrate a person from inside out; hit them anywhere, and they’d be gone. Poof. Not even ashes to bury.”

Tony’s concerned confusion warps into something deeper. He’s careful with his next words. “Yeah, okay. Pretty dangerous stuff. I think I can speak for the rest of humanity when I say that I’m glad they were destroyed when the star-spangled man in tights took them down in—”

“That kind of power is… is… unheard of. Forget bullets. Forget firearms. Those weapons would trump any gun today, Stark. The person who had that kind of weapon would rule the f*cking world.”

“Yeah, if you’re Hitler,” Tony snaps. “Look, man, here in America, we don’t put people in power just because they have the most firepower; you can’t—”

“Will you help me?”

Tony stops pacing. DUM-E whirs in confusion at his sudden halt in movement. “What?”

The man continues, undeterred by the tones of astonishment in Tony’s voice. “Stark tech, I mean, it’s the best.” His words are starting to slur, stringing together. “Arc reactor tech is so close to the energy source that HYDRA used. I know all about it. About you. If you made that weapon, the one they had back then, you could control the world. You’d only have to fire it once, really, for the whole world to know how f*cking powerful you are. Just imagine, Stark. The world at your fingertips.”

“That’s called terrorism, bud,” Tony intruded. “You know, you should probably see someone about that. Fear tactics? Not good. Hope you’re not into politics. The general population doesn’t take well to violence as a campaign strategy—”

“Don’t play dumb!” snaps the other man, fury rattling the phone. “I know you understand me! We could bring peace to the whole f*cking planet!”

Tony doesn’t usually have people scream at him over the phone—that’s a job reserved solely for Pepper, if anyone at all, so listening to this man screech about HYDRA to him on a Thursday night is such a foreign concept. “Okay, don’t get your panties in a bunch—”

“You remember what your father used to say, don’t you?”

At the words ‘your father,’ something in Tony’s brain flips on, an old, rusty light; he goes quiet, rendered speechless.

“‘Peace,” echoes the man, “means having a bigger stick than the other guy.’”

Those are Howard Stark’s words, alright. Those are the words that Tony used to justify every weapons deal he ever made. Years of violence and not caring who bled in his wake, all backed by those f*cking words. “No,” Tony says quietly, “it doesn’t.”

“Aw, don’t tell me you’re one of those f*cking hippies, sticking flowers in guns or whatever the f*ck they do—you’re Iron Man! You build weapons for a living!”

Built,” corrects Tony, with an icy tone to his voice. “Now, I build shields.”

“So you won’t help me?” Now, his voice is desperate, hung on Tony’s next words.

“No!” Tony frowns. “Like I said, your violence slash world domination tactic? Not really my style. That means get lost, creep.”

He hangs up before the guy on the other line can say anything else.

“...you’re that psycho?” Tony says, waiting for the grating voice on the other end to confirm his assumption.

“I’m not crazy!” he snarls back, outraged. “My idea is brilliant. Just because you can’t see it…” An irritated sigh. “It doesn’t matter. Because now you’re going to help me.”

Help you?” Tony laughs. “Buddy, I’m about half a second away from calling the authorities on your ass.”

A chuckle reverberates from the other end of the phone; that’s not the response Tony was expecting. “I wouldn’t if I were you, Stark. Turn around.”

It’s then that Tony realizes he can no longer see the eerie glow of a white screen on the wall in front of him. Every hair on his body stands on end; he spins around quickly, launching the Iron Man gauntlet attached to his wristwatch, but instead of an attacker, he finds—

—the television screen behind him: a silent, high-definition image of a small gray room, mostly empty. In the center is a chair with its back to him, where a dark-haired person sits, their entire body obscured by the chair.

Tony hates the way his skin crawls; it’s like all his nerve endings are on fire. Who the hell is in that chair? The camera moves with a jerk, transferred by someone’s shaky grip around the whole chair until it settles in front of it—

All the blood drains out of Tony’s face.

Peter.

Seeing him is like blade punched deep in his gut—it’s not possible, it’s not f*cking possible— but there he is, Tony’s invincible Spider-Kid, chained to a f*cking chair in some kind of f*cking torture room. Other than the bruise swelling on the side of his face and the blood staining his knuckles, Peter seems fine, but he’s in danger. Tony’s grip clenches like iron around the phone. Peter’s still wearing the clothes he wore when he left Tony’s lab last night. How… How is this even possible? Peter went home, he thinks. Aunt May was supposed to take him to get Thai food at this nice new restaurant. Peter wouldn’t shut up about it the whole afternoon. There’s no way… He can’t even think—

That slimy asshole on the other end of the phone is still talking. “...refused to help,” he’s saying, pride twisting into his words, “so I had to take some extreme measures.”

Rage flares in Tony’s chest, pulsing with each quickening heartbeat. “He’s not—”

“And before you go claiming you don’t know him,” continues Charlie, “I’ll just give a quick recap of what we found in your files on him.” Ever-darkening horror sinks into him, puncturing his skin. He only holds Peter’s files on his most secure server—FRIDAY’s server. This psychotic stoner couldn’t have— “Peter Benjamin Parker, sixteen-year-old kid at Midtown High, from Queens, does decathlon and… what’s that? Loves mint chocolate chip ice cream? You really are thorough with this sh*t.” He chuckles. “How am I doing so far, Tony ?”

“f*ck you—”

“His parents—deceased. Moved in with his lovely aunt, May Parker and his uncle, but he died, too. Jesus, this kid’s got worse luck than me! And here we have an entire list of documented injuries—we’ll save that for later—ooh, finally, the belle of the ball” —fear rattles Tony’s rib cage— “you tell everyone he’s your intern, but he’s Spider-Man, isn’t that right?”

Every alert in Tony’s brain screeches wildly. He knows. He starts to protest, but Charlie cuts him off.

“Deny it,” he growls, “and your precious Peter Parker will pay, you understand me? I know your kind; you rich f*cks think you can just sh*t all over us, but not this time. I’ve got him, and I know what he means to you. He comes over to your place all the time, doesn’t he? I’m surprised you haven’t gotten out any adoption papers.”

Fury he never thought he had unfurls inside of his chest, bursting through his mouth. “f*ck you,” Tony snarls, “that’s my—”

That’s when Charlie whips around and slaps Peter across the face so hard that his head whips to the side; Tony recognizes with a painful jolt how f*cking unresponsive he is. A hit like that… It’s not something you can sleep through. His eyes are half-open, drugged slits that barely widen at the blow; his head rolls on his neck, slack, and sweat pours over his skin. The camera is horrifically high-tech, Peter’s suffering defined so well that it almost feels like he’s watching a new episode of How To Get Away With Murder instead of a livestream of the kid’s torture. The only sign of true consciousness comes from Peter’s fingers, which twitch as if in protest, strangled by pain. It’s such a blatant contradiction of the hyperactive, fast-talking, high-spirited kid he knows so well, and it chills him to the bone.

“The great Tony Stark,” snickers another voice through the phone, and as Tony’s senses return to him, he realizes he can hear faint groans on the other end of the line. “Speechless.”

That’s Peter, moaning in pain, barely clinging to consciousness. That’s Peter, the wonderful sixteen-year-old who helps little old ladies carry their groceries, even when he’s not Spider-Man. That’s Peter, who can barely make it through a sentence without making a Star Wars reference. “What the hell did you do to him?” Tony snaps.

“He’s some freak, that kid,” declares Charlie. “It took like six f*cking doses of sedatives just to get him on the ground, and we still had to knock him out after, and that stuff’s supposed to knock the f*cking Winter Soldier on his ass—”

And that’s why Peter looks like he’s overdosed on sleeping pills. “He’s just a kid!” growls Tony, protective rage flurrying through his brain. My kid, he forgets to say. He’s my kid.

“A kid?” interrupts another, a twitchy, scruffy man with his arm in a black sling. “That kid nearly took my f*cking arm off!”

“He’s sixteen —”

On screen, the man named Charlie responds, poking a metal object into Peter’s bruised cheek. “I don’t f*cking care how old he is! I don’t care if he’s in f*cking kindergarten! That—that freak took down five of my best guys with a broken arm and a truckload of the Winter Soldier’s sedatives in him.”

Blood trickles down Peter’s cheek, and Tony watches Peter stir, his limbs twisting weakly against the cuffs. “Jesus—just don’t hurt him, please… Listen, I don’t know what you want, but you can have it, okay? Just leave him alone.” Under different circ*mstances, Tony and Peter would be able to fight their way out of this one, one clad in red-and-gold, the other in red-and-blue, but not right now. His first priority is to get Peter the hell out of there. “I’m the one you want, right? To make your world-peace gun? Let him go, and take me.” His breath is caught in his lungs, sticking like peanut butter inside of him as he awaits Charlie’s answer. “Take me,” he repeats.

Charlie laughs a little bit—a wet, violent sound—and Tony’s hope fizzles out. “Don’t I wish, Stark. But unfortunately, you’ve got as much security as the f*cking president, and people tend to notice when the most famous billionaire in the US goes missing. Even your little miss Potts is untouchable. Your place is a f*cking fortress.” He shrugs. “So we took the next best thing. Your Spider-Kid. That’s what you call him, right?”

Reality screeches in Tony’s ears—no, no, no! He only calls him that when they’re in private, how… Sickening understanding—FRIDAY’s unusual shutdown, the exposure of his files… That was no coincidence. That was him. This… This is all Charlie.

“Your precious little freak,” Charlie continues, ignorant to Tony’s realization. He shoves the point of the object (a knife, Tony sees with an electrifying wave of fear) through the flesh of Peter’s cheek—a garbled moan of pain clashes with Tony’s stammered “n-no!”

Charlie smiles at the camera, one fist in Peter’s hair, pulling Peter’s head back against the headrest, the other pushing the knife deeper. “This is your life now, Stark,” he declares, his forehead shining with sweat and pride. “You’re gonna make my f*cking weapon, and I’m gonna take this freak apart piece by piece. Every day until you finish.”

Then he slides out the knife, eliciting another groan of protest from semi-conscious Peter, and flips it down, stabbing it directly into the kid’s broken left forearm with a horrific crunch as metal meets bone.

Peter’s scream makes every bone on Tony’s body light on fire—he can’t breathe, he can’t think, his knees wobble—Charlie’s twisting the knife—anger bursts into panic, bubbling over in his aching chest— “Stop, stop it! I’ll do it— I’ll do it, I’ll make your f*cking weapon!”

A victorious grin. Charlie’s hand stops, pulling the knife out, and a woman beside him presses a bandage to the bleeding wound as Peter whimpers. “I thought you might.”

Tony wants to rip his face apart with his bare hands; helpless, he watches his hijacked television screen as Peter chokes on the pain of his new wound.

Instead, he thinks of how he can get Peter home safely—his mind flits through all of his technological expertise, hacks, anything. He has to get Peter out of that hellhole— now.

Charlie’s talking more, rambling about some “rules” he made up for Tony. “...and remember, we’re watching you, Stark. We got access to all your pretty little computers, all your cameras, all your robots, all your fancy tech. We can see all of it. Break one of my rules, and your kid pays the price.” He lets go of Peter’s hair, letting his chin drop to his chest, pulling out a crumpled piece of paper from the pocket of his jeans and squinting at it. “One, don’t leave your lab. We’ll supply you with any science sh*t you need, and food and sh*t. Two, don’t talk to anybody—text, email, call, whatever. No f*cking cops. If someone gets suspicious, you tell us, but don’t talk to them. I don’t need you spillin’ your guts about the whole operation, got it? Don’t try to get out of this, I f*cking swear. A word of this gets out and your precious kid loses his hands, got it? Three, treat me with some f*cking respect.” He crouches by Peter’s bloody hand and yanks the knife out. “Four, work as fast as you can. Five, don’t try to find us. If you do, you’ll pay, you’ll f*cking pay, I swear. Six, don’t be f*cking suspicious. Someone comes to ask what you’re doing, tell ‘em to go f*ck themselves. Say you’re working on the next best thing. Say anything you want—just don’t be f*cking suspicious.” His teeth glint on the screen. “And seven—any time you break my rules” —he waves the bloody knife at the camera— “I break Parker. Understand, Stark?”

Tony gulps, swallowing the lump of terror in his throat. It takes everything in him not to scream at this psycho, but he’s got Peter. He’d only be making it worse. “Understood,” he grunts through gritted teeth.

Then the line clicks off, and Tony’s left in unnatural silence. I am Iron Man, he thinks, and then he says it out loud. “I am Iron Man,” he repeats. Better yet, he is Tony Stark. Genius. Inventor. Hacker. Scientist. Charlie and his gang of misfit toys have no idea what they’re getting themselves into.

No one messes with Tony Stark.

No one messes with Tony Stark’s kid.

Without a moment to waste, Tony Stark gets to work.

SATURDAY, APRIL 7 — 11:48 AM

As soon as Charlie finally hung up on Tony Stark, the other people in the room—Charlie’s wife, Renee, and Mason, follow their leader out of the room, and then it hits barely twenty seconds later—virulent tracking software coming from Tony Stark’s computer, hidden beneath layers of weapons research files, software actively seeking their current location.

On the computer screen before him, Tony’s infectious software spreads, attacking the careful code Scott had written only hours prior; panic surges in his chest, thumping frantically. If he leaves Tony to his own devices, allowing him to hack into the HYDRA laptop and access their location, then he has a chance at saving himself and his daughter. And that kid in the StarWars hoodie. Peter. He could save him, too.

But if they find out… Scott shoves his fear down and cracks a smile instead. As the screen flickers to black, Scott pictures Cassie’s smiling face. He presses the spacebar repeatedly, trying to turn the screen back on, but instead words type across the screen: ACCESS GRANTED. TRANSFERRING LOCATION. Below it, a loading screen takes over the rest of the screen, creeping at a snail’s pace from 1% to 2% and on.

This is it, Scott thinks. Tony Stark is going to save him. They’ll take him out on a stretcher, probably, something softer than this hard-ass chair, and as the Avengers beat up the rest of Charlie’s guys (hopefully with Captain America leading the charge), he’ll get to see Cassie again. To hold her again. To—

The computer lets out an alarming mreeeeep that slices through the silence of the Room like a hot knife, and Scott’s handcuffed hands scutter, terrified, to the computer keys; make it stop, make it stop! Jesus, when they hear it, Scott will be in for it, they’d break every bone in his f*cking body unless he finds a way to stop the noise

Off, off, off! Scott spams the mute button—then the power button—and every trick in the f*cking book, all while watching the loading climb to 33%, 34%, 35%—

Pounding footsteps down the hall, all coming towards him. A guttural roar. “Lang!

No, no, no—Scott has to let it load completely, or Tony will never be able to find them. With his bound hands, he yanks the computer away from the wall—what is he thinking ? He can’t hide the screeching computer from them.

But he can try to delay them as late as possible. 40%. 41%. 42%. He slaps the laptop closed and starts to count again in his head. 43%. 44%.

He stuffs the computer under his chair, then struggles to stand on his wounded legs—

—pain spears through his legs, crackling like lightning in his smashed kneecaps, splitting through every nerve, every fiber—

—but Scott slumps back into the chair, panting. Nope. He can’t. He can’t get on one leg, let alone stand and fight back. 49%. 50%. 51%.

He’s never been much for combat, anyway. He’s more of a talk now, fight later kind of guy—that’s what hackers are, anyway. Just computer geeks with a backbone and a big mouth.

But now, he summons the dregs of courage settled at the bottom of his heart, sets his cuffed wrists on top of the computer, and puts on his ‘I’m-innocent’ face. 56%. 57%. 58%.

When Charlie slams the door open, his face straight out of the psychopathy chapter of a psychology textbook, Scott grins. “Hey, fellas! Wondering how long it would take you—this computer keeps acting up! You should’ve given me better tech, I’m telling you, in this world, it’s Microsoft or die! You know, I met Bill Gates once, he’s nice, a little weird, but once you get to know him—”

“I leave you alone for five f*cking seconds —” A fist, then a blinding pain cracking through his chest. The force of the blow sends Scott tumbling out of the chair and sprawled across the cold floor. 72%. 73%. 74%.

“Hm, linoleum,” croaks Scott, running his hands across the floor. A little blood dribbles out of his mouth, and he glances—f*ck, they found it—as Charlie’s gang of followers open up the laptop. “Nice touch, you got a background in interior design? My bathroom’s got linoleum, but it’s blue, not gray—”

A boot slams into his already-broken knee, and Scott screams, a wave of agony crushing him and ripping his breath away. He’s left gasping face-down on the linoleum—f*cking linoleum —choking on his pain, but instead of begging for mercy he just keeps talking — “I was gonna...paint it orange, but Hope...said it was f*cking ugly...no floor of hers...gonna be orange, but— f*ck!

Another boot hammers into his ribs, and more follow, and Scott’s still talking, rambling until his voice is a dry croak; there’s blood spilling from his legs again— “Don’t touch his hands— leave his f*cking hands, Mason!” —but the whole time he’s still counting. 86%. 87%. 88%.

It’s only when a shattered mass of glass and plastic and metal drops in front of his face when Scott realizes his stupid plan to get out of here was never going to work. “A f*cking tracker, Lang? Did you honestly think…”

Another boot. Another fist. So many blows that Scott loses count. And eventually, after pain that threatens to tear him apart at the seams, the bliss of unconsciousness…

SATURDAY, APRIL 7 — 12:02 PM

Tony nearly jumps out of his own skin when the phone rings again. The tracker he set on whatever infected his computer systems faltered at 79% before blinking out completely.

Now, he’s staring at the computer screen, typing faster than his heart can race—he’s already setting up another location tracking virus, trying to—

Another briiiiing from the phone beside him. What. The. Actual. f*ck. He ignores the call; he doesn’t care who it is. Nothing else matters right now except getting Peter the f*ck out of there. He tries not to think about it ( a garbled moan of pain—a horrific crunch as metal meets bone ), and hacks as quickly as he can. He knows it’s Charlie, calling with another demand, he won’t pick up. He just has to finish transferring...this one...virus… He glances up at the TV, instinctively, just to make sure Peter’s still—

—and f*ck, Charlie’s beating Peter bloody, his fist pulls back to reveal the kid’s swollen face—bright red stains his front, splitting across his face, flooding from his nose—but he’s awake now, and that’s what makes it so f*cking horrible—his kid is screaming please, no, stop, and Tony doesn’t have to hear the words to know what he’s saying—

—Tony doesn’t realize he’s moved across the room to the TV until he feels his fists against the heat of the screen, banging uselessly against the glass— “Peter —no, f*cking—no, stop, please —” He’s spamming the redial button on his phone—he knows the number, they won’t pick up— “Pick up the phone, you f*ckING COWARDS!” He’s gone from disbelief to helplessness to fury, and now all he can feel is explosive, red-hot fear bursting through his veins. “No, no, Peter—Peter—you motherf*cking sad*st, leave him alone—hey! No, f*ck, you have me, stop, stop, STOP!!

Charlie doesn’t pick up the phone until five minutes later, when Peter is whimpering and coughing and bleeding everywhere. He’s f*cking shaking.

Those are the longest f*cking five minutes of Tony’s entire life. He’s on his knees now, palm pressed against the TV screen, wishing he was there to hold his kid, to protect him, to comfort him...

Finally, Charlie speaks. “Rule number five, Stark. What was it?”

“I’m sorry,” gasps Tony, and his grip on the phone is airtight. “I—I won’t do it again, please—”

“Did you think I was just f*cking around, Stark?” His voice slides down, a broken whistle. “You’re not hacking your way out of this one—not without watching me blow Peter Parker’s brains out.” The man on the other side of Peter pulls out his weapon, a large pistol, and slams the muzzle against Peter’s bloody head; through the phone, Tony hears him cry out through his swollen mouth in shock. A “no” dies in Tony’s throat.

His left arm’s tingling, going strangely numb, and everything starts to spin. This isn’t like combat or a roomful of reporters—this is like seeing Rhodey drop from the sky like a stone—this is like watching Pepper fall into the flames. This is fear, defenseless, its matted wings clipped by the image of Peter strapped to a chair on the screen before him.

Tony can’t breathe.

On the other end of the line, Charlie growls, “I told you not to try any of this hero business, Stark.”

The man beside Peter slams his fist against Peter’s swollen wrist. Peter gurgles in pain.

Panic spears through him; Tony gasps out, “Please.”

Charlie ignores him. “Get started on my weapon, Stark. Or it’s Parker’s head on a platter.”

Through the phone, Peter makes this sound, so weak and pained that Tony’s legs buckle beneath him.

Charlie’s voice. “You’re my bitch now, Stark.” A chuckle. “Don’t forget it.”

Click.

SATURDAY, APRIL 7 — 1:03 PM

“Head of Security at Stark Industries,” Happy grumbles, “and you still want me to go bring him his meals?”

Pepper’s voice warns, “Happy.”

“I’m not a delivery boy, Pepper. I’ve got better things to do. FRIDAY’s shutdown’s leaving us pretty vulnerable, you know. We’ve gotta do everything manually now, gotta keep this place running—”

Pepper pushes the box into his hands. “Get someone else to take over.”

“Pepper—”

“You’re the only one he’ll listen to,” she tells him, firm. “If it was me, he’d pretend to be okay to give me peace of mind.”

Happy grunts, “Fine. But next time, I’m making one of the interns do it.”

It smells delicious.

It’s a fifteen-minute walk to Tony’s lab, and by the time he’s halfway there, Happy can’t help himself. He cracks open the box.

Good God.

It’s a brunch fit for a king (or Tony Stark, that is) of pancakes, bacon, sausage, eggs, and fruit. Pepper knows Tony always gets freaked when his AIs cut out.

Happy is a quick learner. The first thing he learned in this job was don’t stop Tony Stark from working. Even Pepper doesn’t generally stop him. She complains a little, here and there, and does her best to keep him healthy while he spirals through his work.

Happy plucks a piece of bacon from the box and scarfs it down. Tony won’t know the difference.

He closes the box.

Maybe one more… He opens it again.

By the time he’s knocking on the door to Tony’s lab, the box is free of its bacon, as well as two pieces of cantaloupe. “Tony!” He bangs his large fist against the door again. “Tony, open up!”

Silence.

Happy rolls his eyes. He’s probably blasting AC/DC right now, so loud that he can’t hear his knocking. “Tony! I brought your lunch!”

It takes a few minutes, but finally Tony responds, talking through the audio system installed in the door. “I’m fine,” snaps the voice on the other end. He sounds strained, like a balloon one breath away from bursting.

It’s what Happy expected, honestly. We’ll be fine, assured Happy once, when JARVIS died on a Saturday afternoon. I’m sure he’ll be up and running in no ti—

Fine? gasped Tony, in a voice that sounded far too emotionally attached to a bundle of computer code. Do I look f*cking fine to you? I’m not safe! I’m not—I can’t—we’re not safe!

When JARVIS’ voice finally responded in the main building two days later, Happy and Pepper went to check on him and found him working like a maniac, wearing his clothing from two days prior, sleeves stained with coffee, eyes bloodshot.

Tony Stark is not easily shaken. But attacking his sense of security is like attacking his family.

“I don’t believe you!” Happy shouts back at him. “Remember last time?”

A growl of irritation through the speaker.

“Just take the food, Tony.”

He can hear shuffling on the other side of the door. A few beats pass, and then— “Get out of here, Happy. Now.”

FRIDAY’s shutdown must be causing him true panic, because Happy can hear it in his voice. Tony’s scared. “You’ve gotta eat sometime—”

“Get out! Now! Get out, get out! I’m working! Get the f*ck out of here!”

Happy frowns.

If Tony Stark won’t eat, he can’t force the food down the man’s throat. Tony can make his own decisions. He’s got a fridge in there, anyway. He could survive a whole month in there if he wanted to, although it’d be on meals of protein bars and frozen pizza.

Happy sighs and walks away, opening up the box.

Those pancakes look goddamn delicious.

SATURDAY, APRIL 7 — 2:25 PM

Julia enters the interrogation room with darkened hope clouding her thoughts. Their little girl was abducted yesterday, her lieutenant told her. If you help them find their girl, then you can continue with your drug addict case. There are three family members inside; she has their names written on the little girl’s case folder. The child, Cassandra Marie Paxton-Lang, was taken yesterday from her mother and stepfather, Margaret and James Paxton, after their home was attacked by several armed figures. The biological father, Scott Lang, a prominent figure in her life, has been missing for three days according to his girlfriend, a woman named Hope van Dyne. The local police are already following the trail, but they hadn’t found anything other than half a license plate number, and therefore handed all jurisdiction to Julia and her team of officers.

Julia clears her throat and pushes the door open with her hip. The mother, Margaret Paxton, rises immediately, sending her chair screeching backwards, and glares viciously at Julia; her arm is wrapped in a thick cast, and there are stitches lining a shaved section of her hairline. The stepfather tugs at her uninjured arm with a calming whisper, but she doesn’t move.

Julia is a little unnerved by the woman’s still ferocity, but it’s nothing she hasn’t seen before. Parents who have lost their children… They’re mad with desperation, so blinded by loss that they can barely think, let alone communicate logically to the police officer interrogating them. “You must be the Paxtons,” she announces, pulling up a chair. “I’m Officer Julia Paz, I—”

“They told us we were getting Officer Keene,” snapped the mother, her face hard.

Julia smiles at the couple, trying not to let her anxiety show through her teeth. “I got remarried, Mrs. Paxton. On some of the old forms, they—”

“Fine,” she snarls; like a lioness, fury glints off her teeth. “I don’t care what your name is. Just tell me how you’re gonna find my daughter.”

They’re knee-deep in dead ends and loose strings and still they’ve got nothing. “I need you to think, Ms. Van Dyne. Does your boyfriend have any enemies? Anyone he was fighting with? A stalker, maybe?”

Van Dyne bites her lip. “Not really. I mean, he was in prison for a little while, but there was no one—no, no, he doesn’t really make enemies.”

“He was in prison?”

“Yeah, but…” Scratching her head, she continues. “Look, the people we’ve had, um, arguments, with… They’re resolved. But Scott did use to, um, steal things. If there’s anyone he’d have a problem with, I guess that’d be a start.”

Julia stops typing. “Anyone else you all can think of? Anyone who could know something about this?”

Maggie and Jim rattle off a few family members and a couple of Scott’s friends, and Julia writes them all down.

After gaining as much information as she can, she dismisses the family. As she leaves, the mother grabs her by the arm. “Mrs. Paxton—” Julia starts.

“Do you have kids, Officer?” asks the woman, abrupt. Her haunted eyes watch her face.

“Two,” she admits.

Maggie tilts her chin up and Julia sees herself mirrored in this mother’s eyes. “All I have is Cassie—she’s my whole world, you understand?” Her eyes glaze over as her voice shakes, and her husband tugs at her arm. “Understand?

“I understand, Mrs. Pa—”

“She’s all I have!” Now Maggie sobs into her hands, and her husband steers her towards the door.

When he looks back at Julia, she realizes his face matches his wife’s. He looks...broken, somehow, a cracked window. “Find her,” he begs. “Please.”

SATURDAY, APRIL 7 — 3:09 PM — DAY 1

There’s a small voice in the back of his head, prying at his blender of a brain. Mister… Mister… Are you…

His skin feels like ice, numb to the touch, and his muscles are jelly, and worst of all, there’s pain drumming through his body—a tender knot at the back of his skull, combat bruises peppering his torso, discomfort zigzagging between his ribs, a swollen, throbbing wrist, a sensitive bruise on his face, and a horrible spike of pain rendering his left hand useless. He tries to move, but his battered body won’t allow it, especially not while under the influence of this foreign drug.

The tinny voice beside him grows more frantic, breaking into confused sobs. A kid’s sobs.

Peter forces his eyes open, blinking to clear the haze of pain from his brain. There’s a little girl in front of him with a smear of blood on her cheek; she looks Asian, maybe half-Japanese or half-Korean, with long, dark hair. She’s wearing pink pants speckled with shooting stars, a purple shirt with “Sparkle Like A Unicorn” printed across the front of it in glitter. Over it, she wears a sparkly blue hoodie with a pair of belugas swimming across the back, although there’s blood spotting all the way down her sleeves. She’s got one hand clenched on the hem of her T-shirt while the other pokes his uninjured cheek, and she’s saying something. “...hey, Mister, wake up, wake—whoa!”

Peter pushes himself up with a groan, and she stumbles backward in surprise. She’s scared ; not the kind of scared that Ned’s baby sister Daisy shows when her mom scolds her, but the kind of scared that douses your mind in gasoline, the kind where any spark will send flames of panic burning through your veins. The little girl is pale, trembling like a leaf, and watching him with wide, cautious eyes. “H-hey,” he says, trying to move his numb tongue, “I’m Peter. What’s your name?”

“Cassie,” she says carefully. She watches as Peter shifts, propping himself against the wall, his good arm curled around his torso. Finally, he takes in his surroundings; the room’s miniscule, probably not meant for two people. It’s about fifteen feet one way and ten feet the other way. There’s a toilet and a sink crammed in the left corner, furthest from the door, and a ratty bed (with a mattress to match) in the other corner, just a few feet away from the door. Peter’s currently sitting right next to the bed, and he grabs onto the metal railing with his right hand, trying to steady himself. He’d hoped for some metal screws or exposed wires he could use to break them out of here, but so far all he sees are smooth, blank walls, save a lone, fluorescent light in a cage on the ceiling streaming uneven light across the entire room. The door’s similar—dull, even metal, not even a handle on the inside. There’s no window, only a tiny slot for food.

“Cassie,” Peter repeats, giving her a pained smile. “That’s a” —he winces— “a pretty name.”

Cassie’s gaze flickers down to his hand. “You’re bleeding,” she comments, trying to sound brave, “a lot.”

Peter glances down at his hand. It’s not spraying blood, which is good, and he’s happy to feel the familiar tingle of his super-healing at work, but there’s a terrifying amount of red oozing into a puddle on the ground beside him—no wonder the kid is scared. “Oh,” he says simply. “Don’t worry.” He wills his hands to stick (almost an unconscious thought at this point), and feels a familiar, adhesive substance coat his palm and fingers; he spreads the sticky liquid over the open wound, letting it seep in from both sides, and the flow of blood slows from dangerous to annoying. Then he grabs a section of his T-shirt and (he wishes May could be here to see him tear his favorite shirt, she’d be horrified) tears a section from the bottom, which is, surprisingly, harder than it looks. He winds the makeshift bandage around his palm, knotting it with his teeth. “See?”

Cassie nods, wary.

Reexamining the bloody spots on Cassie’s jacket, Peter points a shaky finger in her direction. “Did they hurt you, too?”

The dark-haired girl flinches, pain flashing across her face; regret drips down Peter’s throat. She nods again. “Daddy’s gonna come get me,” she whispers. “He’s gonna save me.”

Peter’s spent enough time with Ned’s sister, Daisy, to know not to correct kids when they think their parents are coming. Besides, he’s not asking for a meltdown—he just wants to make sure this little girl isn’t going to bleed out any time soon. She’s about as thin as a paper clip, so Peter’s guessing any loss of blood will leave her dizzy and upset. “Okay, okay,” he agrees. “How about you come over here? I’ll fix up your cuts like I did mine. You can tell me about your dad.”

She shuffles over slowly. “Are you a doctor?”

Peter smiles. “No, kiddo. Just a guy with magic hands. I’m like, uh, Harry Houdini!” He waves his right hand for dramatic effect.

“Are you gonna hurt me?” she says, even quieter.

Awful, sinking revulsion crawls into his stomach and squirms. He knew it before, but now it’s real. Someone hurt this little kid—she’s probably six or seven years old, barely bigger than Daisy, and someone cut open her arms and left her to bleed. “No,” he says firmly, meeting her eyes. “I’m just gonna stop the bleeding.” He tries to hold back his tears, but he’s always been an easy crier. Ned knows—Peter sobbed through The Fault In Our Stars and Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2 and any other movie where someone died; whenever May cries, he always finds himself crying, too. It isn’t a great move for a high school student still trying to make his way through a thousand and one social bubbles, but nonetheless, his vision still blurs when Cassie approaches him, arm held out with the rest of her body curled up like a tight rubber band, her eyes squeezed shut. “It’s okay…” he says. “Cassie. Look at me.” She’s still tense, like he’s about to slap her or punch her or cut her arm open again. “I’m not gonna hurt you. I’m one of the good guys, okay?”

Cassie presses her back against the wall beside him. She is so, so confused–it’s written all over her face. “They hurt you,” she whispers.

Peter smiles emptily. “Yeah.”

She frowns. “Did you do something bad?”

Peter is still, and he takes a moment to just feel, feel the level of pain he is in. “No,” he tells her. “I didn’t.” Pain flares in his arm.

“Then why did they hurt you?” She backs away a little, sliding a few inches away from him. “Are you bad?”

“No.” Peter wants to go to sleep and never wake up, but instead he forces his eyes to the little girl’s. Spider-Man would comfort her, tell that they’ll defeat the bad guys and get out of here, but instead he lets out a strained sigh. “I don’t know why, they just…” He can barely remember the torture: hints of familiar voices, aching pain, cold metal, I’ll do it–I’ll do it, I’ll make your f*cking weapon— He shivers. “Some people just like hurting other people.”

Cassie is quiet for a moment. The drip, drip, drip of the faucet echoes rhythmically from the other side of the room. “Do you?”

“Nah,” says Peter, trying to sound nonchalant as pain suddenly erupts in his arm. “I told you, I’m one of the good guys, kid.”

“Promise?”

A tiny, bloodspattered hand appears before him, clear in the pain clouding Peter’s brain, one pinky up.

Peter hooks his pinky finger in hers. “Pinky promise,” he swears.

For the first time since he met her, little Cassie smiles.

SATURDAY, APRIL 7 — 5:14 PM

Only one of the little girls’ neighbors actually saw anything. She goes with her partner, Officer Jimmy Woo; he’s a bit too friendly for a police officer, but he’s growing on her. He somehow starts a whole conversation with the witness about dog breeds, and she swears she wants to knock him onto the floor. “Did you see any distinguishing features of the culprits?” she asks, cutting Woo off as he goes into a rant about labradoodles. “Any tattoos, any facial hair, anything?”

The woman shakes her head. “Only the woman—the one with red hair. That’s all I remember.”

“Any names? Can you remember anything that they said?”

Her face scrunches in thought. “No… I’m sorry, it all happened so fast … Just yelling, that’s it.”

Julia shakes her down for as much information as she can, but once they’re done, she knows they’ve hit a wall. It’s been almost 36 hours since Cassie Paxton-Lang was abducted, and all they have is three letters of a license plate, a hair color, and a vehicle type. It’s not nearly enough. But her sergeant didn’t just give her the case because they were understaffed; he did it, she knows, because Julia is damn good at her job.

“Check the ex-husband’s burglary victims,” she orders Woo, remembering what Cassie’s family said. Right now, they had nothing to help them find this little girl, and with every minute that passed, the chances of finding her alive grew slimmer. “Let’s find ourselves a lead.”

SATURDAY, APRIL 7 — 6:51 PM

It’s time.

They’ve set seven o’clock as the official time to call Stark, every day, so now it’s time to take that Spidey-kid out of his cell.

He sends his two biggest guys to take him, and he stands outside and watches as they do it.

The girl starts screaming as soon as they open the door. And the boy, still heavily drugged with the sh*t they gave him, jumps to his feet, swaying dangerously, and falls back down.

His men, Matt and Nick, enter the room; the girl’s screams collapse into pitiful sobs. “Hey—hold on, fellas,” starts Parker, scooting back against the bed, holding his broken wrist to his chest. “Ask me on a date first—”

Nick grabs his ankle and pulls him, hard, across the cement floor, and when the kid’s head meets concrete he hisses in pain, but he twists his leg from Nick’s grip and thrashes wildly.

This is taking too long. “Get the f*cking kid!” he growls.

Matt gets a few good hits in; the kid’s too drugged to truly fight back, But clearly the drugs didn’t touch his brain, because he slaps both hands down on the floor and tenses up.

Nick yanks hard at the kid’s legs. He doesn’t budge.

“The hell?” Matt growls.

Nick pulls again, harder. Nothing.

The Spider-Kid stuck his f*cking hands to the floor.

Charlie can feel rage seep into his brain, and all at once his vision goes red. “Get off the f*cking floor, Parker!”

Parker doesn’t move. If anything, he clings harder to the concrete.

Charlie steps into that f*cking tiny room and sticks his gun into the back of Parker’s neck. “Get off,” he hisses, “the floor. Or Stark’s gonna know just what spider brains look like.”

“You won’t,” the teen answers slowly, “because you need me.”

Charlie wants to smash this kid into the f*cking ground and rips his face off with his teeth. Instead, he grabs his head and slams his face into the ground. “Get up!”

Lang’s girl screams from the corner, and Peter startles.

Charlie grins. He’s a f*cking genius.

He grabs Peter by the hair. “Get up,” he repeats, “or I’ll make that little girl bleed again.”

SATURDAY, APRIL 7 — 7:06 PM — DAY 1

Peter’s furious with himself, tugging at his bound arms in a frenzy. He forgot about little Cassie for two f*cking seconds, and then they got the upper hand. If he’d remembered that it wasn’t only him, then they could’ve been both free by now.

The drug’s still coursing through him, dizzyingly cold, but its effect has waned. Why can’t he break out of these restraints? Rope and steel can’t hold him, so what is—

Oh.

Vibranium.

It smells like vibranium. He couldn’t break out of this chair even if he was at his full strength.

Peter’s heart rate picks up. Who are these people? This chair is made of vibranium, and the cell he was in reeks of it, too. The people he faces are usually desperate, like muggers and addicts and thieves, or structured, like villains and psychopaths. These people are a strange mix of the two.

He winces. The pain comes and goes in waves, aching from head to toe. “...please, please don’t make me do this—he’s just a kid—he’s not—”

A slap. “You’ve done it before, Lang. Come on. Call him.”

Peter’s not stupid. Once the guy in charge—Charlie—started talking, he figured it out pretty quickly. They’d kidnapped him to blackmail Mr. Stark into making a weapon for them.

He laughs, as much as one can with a swollen, bloody face. Didn’t they know who Mr. Stark was? Mr. Stark had been blackmailed more times than Peter could count, and they’d never worked—

“Something funny, freak?” the man, Charlie, asked.

Peter shrugged; pain spiked down his arm, and he immediately regretted it. “Eh, nothing. Just… Your socks are untied.”

Charlie grabs his poorly bandaged arm and squeezes, hard, digging his thumb into the wound. Peter chokes on the sudden pain. “I get enough talk out of Lang—I don’t need any from you.”

Peter’s about to make a sharp comeback when he spots the man in the corner, huddled behind a computer, blood staining his chin and the front of his shirt. He’s typing rapidly, looking up every once in a while to glance at Charlie.

f*ck.

He looks like he’s been ripped apart at the seams. His face is blackened with bruises, his eyes bloodshot, his mouth thick and swollen. And his legs… Nausea writhes in Peter’s gut.

Peter shuts up.

“Good boy,” sneers Charlie, and then he kicks at the other man’s chair. The man jerks back, his handcuffs jingling. “Lang?”

“Yeah—um, yes. It’s ringing.”

Peter recognizes that voice. It’s… sh*t, why couldn’t he remember?

Charlie shifts his feet beside him. “Lights, camera, action,” he says, in a loud whisper. “Mason, you have my tools?”

“Yeah.” Someone pushes a metal cart forward, and its wheels screech over the ground.

Peter hears that oh-so-familiar sound of a phone picking up, and his stomach drops. “I’m not done yet,” says the voice on the other line. “I need more time…”

It’s Mr. Stark’s voice.

He sounds freaked.

“Mr. Stark?” calls out Peter. “Can you hear me?”

Charlie slaps his hand over his mouth, a warning.

Peter stops moving.

Mr. Stark’s voice goes from weary to intensely concerned. He’s never heard him like this, not even when Peter woke up in the medbay after taking a bullet to the chest. “Pete? You okay, kid? I’m gonna fix this, I f*cking swear, don’t—”

“Now’s not the time for chit-chat,” snaps Charlie. “You got my weapon, Stark?”

Mr. Stark’s grainy voice on the other end. “No, I haven’t got the—I’ve barely got blueprints! I don’t just sh*t technology, you f*cker, that’s not how it— don’t f*cking touch him!


Beside him, Charlie’s shaking in frustration, holding something cold and metallic against his neck; Peter can practically hear his teeth grinding together. “What’s rule number three, Stark?” growls the man.

As Charlie removes his hand from Peter’s mouth, Mr. Stark continues, “I don’t know, I don’t know—”

A click, and something hisses beside his ear. Something hot. Peter suddenly grows wildly tense. “Don’t worry, Mr. Stark,” he babbles, cutting off Charlie as he talks again. His body trembles. “I’ll be fine—everything’s gonna be okay—I’ll get out of here, you know I can do it, I’ll get everyone out of here, I can do it, don’t worry, you don’t have to—”

The man on the other side grabs his head and pins it to one side of the chair; Peter lets out a cry of surprise and then keeps on talking, because if he doesn’t stop talking then he’s gonna think about how loud Mr. Stark is screaming into the phone and how much sweat is coming down the side of his face and how much it’s gonna f*cking hurt— “I’ve got it, don’t worry about me, I’m okay, don’t worry—”

The heat singes his ear and the side of his head lights up in splitting agony.

Somewhere beneath the mountains and valleys of Peter’s own screams, he can hear Mr. Stark’s sobs.

When the pain finally wanes and his sticky hands unclench from the vibranium armrests, he realizes something.

He’s never heard Mr. Stark cry before.

SATURDAY, APRIL 7 — 10:29 PM

Charlie’s coming down from a high when the phone finally rings.

He picks up after the second ring. “Yeah?”

A low voice. “Did you get them?”

“Yep.”

“All three?”

“Yeah, yeah, I told you we got ‘em. Antman, the girl, and Spider-Man. We already called Stark—he’s pissing himself silly trying to make my weapon.”

Our weapon, Keene. Don’t forget who’s funding your little project here.”

“Yeah, sorry, boss.”

“I need you to keep this under control. If” —the man’s voice drops to a threatening whisper— “Stark breathes one word to Potts or anyone else, then the whole operation falls apart. We can’t let that happen. If he talks to anyone…”

“I’ll rip that kid apart.”

A pleased hum. “Right. I’ll check in again in a couple of days. And Keene?”

“Yeah, Secretary Ross?”

“Don’t f*ck this up.”

Chapter 3: welcome to my cage

Summary:

To Tony, it’s only been minutes. Time’s blurry now, jumping between seeing Peter’s bloodstained face and his plans for the HYDRA weapon. He can’t tell how much time has passed; he feels like he’s back in that f*cking cave, where every second was a year and another pained heartbeat through a car battery. And Pepper’s mad this time. She yells at him through the door, telling him he’s being childish and immature and he wishes he could scream back. But he can’t. Not with Peter’s life on the line.

Notes:

title from the song 'bottom of the deep blue sea' by missio

CW: violence, blood, torture, injury, drug use, intimate partner violence.

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

SATURDAY, APRIL 7 — 7:58 PM

Tony’s on the floor when Peter’s blood-curdling screams finally stop.

“Stark,” states the voice on the other line.

Tony fumbles for the phone and grips it with white-knuckled hands. “Listen to me,” he says through gritted teeth. On screen, sweat pours down Peter’s face; he’s barely conscious now, eyelids fluttering, his left ear a raw mess of burned flesh. Sickening dread fills Tony to the brim. “I’m working as fast as I can. Just… Don’t hurt him. I’ll do it without you tortu—”

The bearded man onscreen raises a hand to stop him from talking. “I know the way this sh*t works, Stark. I’m not stupid. Parker’s your motivation. The faster you get my weapon done, the less sh*t that freak has to go through.”

“Please, you don’t have to—”

Charlie shoves the blowtorch closer to Peter’s head and his kid writhes in his metal restraints, his breathing quickening as he tries to get away from the threatening heat. “You’re so used to getting what you want, aren’t you?”

Tony doesn’t say a word; his whole body’s frozen, hoping that if he does nothing then Charlie won’t hurt Peter.

Through the TV, Charlie points the blowtorch at Tony, waving at the camera. “Well, this time, I’m in charge. None of your gadgets or your fancy suits or your money will save you now.” He scoffs. “You can’t even be trusted to stop fighting back when Spider-Baby’s life is on the line.”

Tony gulps.

“Starting now, my guys will watch your every f*cking move, through all those cameras and microphones and computers that you thought kept you so safe. And we’re shutting down the Internet, too. If you call anyone, we’ll know. If you text anyone, we’ll know. If you touch one of your precious suits, we’ll know. And any move you make” —the flame grazes Peter’s cheek— “means this kid hurts.”

It hits Tony like a freight train.

Whoever hacked FRIDAY knew what they were doing—they can easily view any video footage, any audio, any technological move that Tony could possibly make. That’s how they saw his virus coming. The hacker’s at Tony’s level.

Which means Tony is completely, utterly f*cked.

“If I hear an Avenger knocking at my door,” threatens Charlie, “then I’ll slit his throat, understand? If you slip through the cracks with your Stark tech sh*t and try to save him, he’ll be dead before you can say ‘Iron Man.’”

Tony can’t fix this. For the first time in a long time, he’s completely helpless.

He feels like he’s back in Afghanistan, pain zinging through his chest, thirst raking his tongue, fear flooding his blood. He has no other option than to help them.

“Here’s how it’s gonna work, Stark,” continues the man, as the others undo Peter’s restraints. “You’re gonna give us a list” —Peter slumps forward onto two men, fighting weakly as they drag him away— “of all the sh*t you need to build my gun. One of my crew will come by once a week to give you supplies. You’re gonna make it, and you’re gonna send it back with my guy. If it works like the HYDRA sh*t used to, I’ll let Parker go. If it doesn’t…” He shrugs. “You remember what I said. Every day, your spider bleeds, understand?”

This stoner’s got Tony Stark backed into a corner.

“Understand me, Stark?”

He nods. The TV displays only an empty room now, humming lightly.

“This is my time,” rambles Charlie, and he slings an arm around the red-haired woman’s waist, “to do something that matters. To change the world for the better. This is what my life is for—to make the world a better place, and you’re not gonna f*ck it up, Stark. You should be thanking me.”

Tony bites his tongue, and the line cuts out.

Scared is an understatement. Tony is horrified .

He can’t tell anyone what’s going on, can’t leave the lab, can’t do anything but work his ass off.

His computer screen says it’s 8:12 PM. Twenty-eight minutes until Pepper comes back home.

She’s gonna know.

As soon as she sees his face, she’ll know something is wrong; now, they know each other better than anyone else on the planet. He has to do something; if Pepper comes and finds him like this, they’ll murder Peter.

Tony presses his hands against his head and pushes hard, like ideas will come springing from his brain.

If anything more happens to Peter...

He has to do something.

SATURDAY, APRIL 7 — 8:40 PM

Pepper is exhausted. As Stark Industries’ CEO, she’s got a lot of weight on her shoulders, and after a long couple days in San Francisco, she’s ready to come home.

As she drives into the facility, she passes Tony’s lab. Something’s off about it; from far away, it looks strange, like a different color. As she nears the lab, she realizes with a sharp intake of breath what it is. Tony’s lab is on lockdown .

It’s only for emergencies , Tony told her when he created it. I promise.

What kind of emergency , she inquired, would warrant you locking yourself inside of your lab like a prison?

Tony blew air through his teeth. I’m making one for every building here, babe. It’s just… Just in case. If something happens to me, I can’t let it happen to you, too.

Tony…

Just trust me, he said. We’ll probably never have to use it. It’s just in case.

Pepper pulls to a stop a few feet away from the lab and slams the car door as she gets out. “Tony!” Lockdown is for emergencies only , not for whatever this is. “Tony, come out of there!” She bangs on the door with her fist. There are vibranium-lined sheets locked over every window, vibranium bolts securing every door. No one can get in or out, not even her. “Tony!” She hits the doorbell, too, over and over again. “Tony, come on!”

No response.

She yanks on the door handle. Locked, as expected. She did not want to come home to this; she wanted to crawl onto the couch with her fiancé and watch Netflix. “Tony!” She slaps her palm onto the metal sheeting. Still, no response. She keeps yelling his name and waiting for a response, but he doesn’t say a word.

She takes a breath. He clearly doesn’t want to answer her, so she tries another method. “Honey, I get that you’re scared after what happened to FRIDAY, but we’ll fix her, I’m sure. We’re not defenseless, Tony.”

Still, he says nothing.

She takes another breath, holds out, and lets it out. Tony’s not an incredibly complicated person, so it’s not difficult to figure this one out. He must be scared . If she gives him some time, perhaps this will all blow over. “We’ll talk later, okay? Just…” She touches the door handle. “Don’t sleep there, Tony. And eat something, would you? Happy told me you wouldn’t eat what you gave him, so… You can’t survive off of protein bars and coffee.” He used to do that when he worked through the night, and he hadn’t done it in months. But here they were, back where they started. “It’s not healthy.”

Nothing.

Pepper sighs. She’ll talk to him again later, after she kicks off her tight heels.

Everything will be better soon.

SATURDAY, APRIL 7 — 9:13 PM

Charlie feels like he’s flying above the clouds.

One of his crew, a young junkie named Ava, comes up to him while he’s so far gone he can barely feel his feet. “I was reviewing the footage from earlier today, and he… He talked to someone.

The words sound like they’re coming through water. “He what?”

“He talked to some guy through the door—for less than a minute, really, while I was up to piss and Scott was watching—and the guy walked away.”

Charlie’s eye twitches. “What did they talk about?”

“Nothing important.” She wrings her hands. “He was too scared to say anything to him, just told him to leave.”

Charlie clenches his jaw.

“Look, I’m just letting you know in case he tries anything but—Jesus, Charlie, give them a break.”

“A break ?” he scoffs. “They’re stabbing me in the f*cking back, Ava! I’m gonna save the world and they think they can sabotage me? They can’t get away with this without ANY f*ckING PUNISHMENT!” Even after Charlie warned Stark not to f*ck with his rules, after he told him over and over again not to do it… And Lang, too. He tried to hide it from them. He should be grateful, honestly, that they hadn’t killed him yet. Was smashing his legs not good enough? Slicing open that kid? How much pain did Lang want for his kid? And Stark for his?

Why couldn’t they all see he was going to SAVE THE f*ckING PLANET?

He storms out of the room, and Ava follows, stammering, “Charlie—Charlie, they’ve been through enough, please—”

He spins around and slaps her; the girl falls. His hand stings. “Renee!” he calls out, and his wife pokes her head out of one of the doorways. “Get the kids. We’ve got another phone call to make.”

He punishes Lang first. The man screams himself raw as Mason breaks the girl’s fingers one by one. “Cassie!” he screeches, like it’s his last word. “ Cassie, CASSIE!”

Afterward, Renee slings the wailing girl over her shoulder and returns her to the cell. Two more drag in that Spider-Kid; the injured boy lands an elbow to one captor’s gut before they lock him into the vibranium restraining chair. Mason picks up the syringe of sedative, filling it with a full dose, but Charlie pushes him back. “No sedative,” he snaps. “Stark gets to know just how much pain he puts this kid in.”

He calls Tony Stark, but he doesn’t even give him a second to explain himself. He’s in control now. The power pumps through his veins like cocaine, rippling over him. “Rule #1, Stark,” he snarls, toying with Mason’s favored hammer. “Don’t talk to anyone.”

Then he swings the hammer back and smashes it into Parker’s right knee.

The boy’s scream lights the room on fire.

Charlie smiles.

SATURDAY, APRIL 7 — 10:01 PM

The house feels empty.

Cassie’s room feels like a death trap.

Yet still, Maggie manages to step inside. Jim follows her. What are they supposed to do now? How is she supposed to live without… without… without her little girl?

Jim puts his hand on her back, and she pushes his hand away. “Jim—” she sobs, unable to describe the pain she feels from the absence of her baby. “How—”

Jim falls against the wall, running one hand over his face. He’s crying, too. “I have to check—I’m gonna find her—I have to—” He rubbed at his eyes. “I’ve gotta find her, Maggie—I will.

Maggie doesn’t answer him, just braces herself against the wall outside of Cassie’s bedroom and waits for him to go. Her world is cold, numbness seeping into all of her cracks, and not even Jim can help her. She can still see her little girl, can still feel the rush of overwhelming anguish as those men pointed at her baby, shouting, there’s the kid, grab her

She falls to her knees.

Maggie doesn’t sleep, and neither does Jim.

Jim stays at the kitchen table, checking every police scanner and every traffic camera, hoping to find something.

Maggie is in Cassie’s room, sitting on her daughter’s bed, when Jim comes back upstairs. The question ( find anything? ) lingers between them.

Jim shakes his head and doesn’t say anything.

They sit for a while. There’s nothing to say, really. When Maggie finally breaks the silence, her voice is hoarse from crying. “Scott wouldn’t do this, would he?”

Jim stares at her. She’s a little out of it, watching the window like Cassie will come home any minute. “Take Cassie?”

She nods.

He lingers in the doorway. Maggie’s got both hands on Cassie’s favorite stuffed animal, stroking it absently. “No, he… He’s done some bad, but he’s never hurt anybody, and he loves Cassie more than life. He’d never do anything to hurt her.”

Hesitant, Maggie nods.

“I don’t know what happened—or why—but if they’re together, I know that he’s keeping our Cassie safe.” He blinks back tears. “The police are gonna find them, I know they will.” He swallows. “Cassie’s gonna be okay. I… I’ll keep looking.”

She nods again, mute.

“I’ll find her. I promise.”

SATURDAY, APRIL 7 — 10:40 PM — DAY 1

There’s no clock in here.

That’s the first thing he notices—there’s no clock. He doesn’t know what time it is. There aren’t any windows, either, so he can’t tell if it’s nighttime or daytime or how long he’s been out.

Cassie’s sitting in front of the door, wide awake, running the little fingers of her left hand along the edge of it like it’ll open.

His healing factor hasn’t kicked in as much as he would like. It’s probably because he hasn’t eaten since he arrived—his sky-high metabolism means he should eat four times a day at the bare minimum, and he’s starving. His knee… A wave of nausea rushes over him as he remembers the pain. It’s not like he’s never experienced painful things before—he’s had probably a dozen broken bones from being Spider-Man alone—but he was always taken by surprise. It never hurts as much when your body is pumping with terror and your ears are ringing with Tony Stark’s sobs.

But this… This is different. He’s never been tortured before. He doesn’t have his mask, which usually gives him a sense of security; without it, he feels completely vulnerable. Without it, he’s just Peter Parker. When he’s dragged into that room , he has to sit there, locked into that cold chair, listening to Tony scream for them not to hurt him, squirming away from their weapon of choice.

It f*cking hurts.

His knee is on fire, flames tearing up and down his right leg, so much that the pain climbs up into his chest. And the rest of his body still aches, every movement made difficult by half-healed injuries. His broken arm is healed now, thank God, and the puncture in his palm has closed up. His broken nose has healed up, as have some of his bruises, but they’re covered by fresh ones made by his captor’s fists. His clothes are hardened with dried blood, but he doesn’t have enough strength to make it to the sink to wash it out. Besides, it’s freezing in this small cell, and running water over the only clothing he has will only make him colder.

Cassie’s cold, too. She’s shaking like a rag doll, now holding her broken fingers to her chest and crying quietly.

This is bad, Peter thinks. Really bad. He’s kept up his hope so far, but it diminishes with every minute that passes. How is he supposed to escape this place? He’s injured beyond belief, Mr. Stark is stuck between a rock and a hard place, no one knows he’s here, and his only allies are a seven-year-old girl and her battered father. His captor— Charlie , he thinks blearily—is in complete control.

Cassie whimpers again, and Peter turns his attention to her. He can remember hearing them torture her, twisting his head to try to see her, her wild screaming, her cries for her dad, and her wounded father’s subsequent pleads. He sits up, and his head whines in protest, pain splintering over the burns on the left side of his head. Everything is lopsided; he tries to ignore it. “Hey, Cassie…” he says, and little girl jumps, surprised.

She bursts into tears, scampers over to him, and throws her arms around his neck. With his good arm, he hugs her and rubs her back, repeating, “I know, I know…” Because he does know. He knows exactly what it’s like to be in pain when there’s no one there to comfort him. No Karen to tell him he’s not fatally injured, no Ned to make a dumb Harry Potter reference, no May to kiss his forehead, no Mr. Stark to smile at him in the medbay and assure him that everything’s gonna be okay. Peter’s throat goes dry. Mr. Stark…

“Never,” says Mr. Stark, rushing in and hugging him so suddenly that Peter it takes him a second to realize what’s happening, “do that to me ever again. Got it, kid?” Peter mumbles a “yes” into his shoulder. “You gave me a heart attack!”

Peter laughs, then immediately regrets it as the bandaged wound in his gut sends waves of discomfort through him. “Sorry, sir.”

“Don’t tell me you’re sorry!” he responds, backing away now and giving him the stern I’m-Tony-Stark-so-don’t-f*ck-with-me look. “Tell my blood pressure sorry! You call me to tell me you’ve been shot and you go unconscious halfway through? Peter!”

He winces. “Uhhh…”

“I’m old! My heart can’t take it!” He clutches at his chest with one hand, mimicking a heart attack. “Good God, Pete! Give a man some warning next time!”

“I’m sorry!” Peter protests lightly. “I thought the only guns he had were the ones he was holding, and I didn’t have time to pat him down, and when I was getting the victims out, I thought my Spidey Sense was telling me someone was injured ‘cause this girl got shot pretty bad—”

“Yeah, yeah, I know,” Mr. Stark grumbles. “Spider-Man had to save the day, didn’t he?”

Peter shrugs, grinning now.

The older man groans into his hands. “I really want to be mad at you right now, Pete, but you did stop what could’ve been a mass shooting.”

“Is everyone okay?”

Tony gives him this odd look, half-smiling. “You can’t be serious.”

“What?”

“You got shot three times, Pete! One went right through your left lung! And you’re worried about the other people?”

He shrugs again. “Are they?”

“Yes, Pete, they’re all fine. The two who got shot are in recovery, and they’re gonna be okay.”

“And the shooter?”

Mr. Stark makes that face again, and this time Peter recognizes what it is. Pride. A surge of warmth goes through him. “You can’t be serious.” Peter raises his eyebrows, and Tony caves, rolling his eyes. “He’s fine. Since you webbed him up after you got shot, the police didn’t see him as a threat once they got there and didn’t shoot.”

Peter slumps in relief, almost like the pain in his chest lessened. Everyone’s okay. “Awesome. Awesome.”

Mr. Stark smiles at him. “You are unbelievable, kid.”

He shrugs. “I try, Mr. Stark.”

Everything’s gonna be okay,” he assures her. “Let’s see if we can fix up your fingers, okay?”

She nods into his neck.

“You wanna give me your hand?”

She scoots back a little and extends her hand to him, a little shaky. It doesn’t look good; blood spots over her hand where the hammer cut her skin open, and each finger has been fractured so much that there’s no bone to even set.

Peter swallows. She’s still looking at him like he’s a doctor or Mr. Stark or her father, but he doesn’t want her to. There’s nothing he can do to help her. Pain flares through his knee, and spots dance over his vision as he holds back a groan of pain. He can’t let her know how much pain he’s in. He doesn’t know what he’ll do if she gives up, so he has to come up with something . He takes her hand by the wrist, wills some stickiness into his fingertips and dabs carefully over the bloody spots. Think, Peter, f*cking think. What can you do for her? He can’t make a splint—he doesn’t have anything sturdy enough for that. How can he protect her fingers? Ned was always telling him about dumb stuff like that because he watched Survivor like he needed it to stay alive. After a lengthy scream or two, Ned would probably tell him to make the best of the situation. Figure out how to keep her hand stable until a medical professional gets there.

Peter racks his brains for medical sh*t, but it’s not like there was an AP Emergency First Aid class. God, now he wished there was. “Keep it stable,” he mutters to himself, and Cassie sniffles.

“What?” she asks.

Peter tries to give her a reassuring smile, but it must look more like a pained grimace because Cassie closes her eyes. “Just gotta keep it stable, that’s all,” he assures her. “You’ll be okay.”

“Are you gonna chop it?” she says.

Peter startles. “Wh-what?”

She scrunches up her face at her fingers, ready to cry again. “I saw a man with no leg and Mommy said sometimes doctors chop people’s legs off when they get hurt really bad so it doesn’t hurt anymore, and this hurts a lot .” Tears well up in her eyes. “Are you?”

Peter smiles, this time for real, and he puts his other hand over her broken hand so she can’t see it. She looks up. “‘Course not. I’d never do that. Pinky swear.” He mock-taps his pinky to her broken one, careful not to touch it. “Can you move them?” He wiggles his own.

She shakes her head and sniffles again. “No. Hurts.”

“Can you move your wrist?”

He rotates his and she copies him. Thank God. Right now he’s not sure if he can save her fingers from permanent damage, and if it was her wrist, too… “That’s good, kiddo.” God, he’s starting to sound like Mr. Stark. He turns her hand over and looks at it again. He doesn’t want her using the muscles there, even by accident, because it would cause her so much pain. The only thing he can think of, honestly…. “Do you think you could make a fist?”

She shakes her head again, clearly more agitated. “No, no…”

“Okay, that’s fine, don’t worry…”

“Please don’t” —a loud sniff— “chop it, I want it, I want it…”

Peter gnaws on his lip. It’s lined with dried blood, so it tastes a little salty, but he can’t remember ever being hit. The drug still swirls around in his head and his gut, making everything nauseatingly blurry, but he focuses on Cassie. She’s the one who matters, and there’s only one thing that he can think to do right now. “I think… We’re gonna do something a little different, Cassie.”

She blinks away tears. “What?”

She won’t look at him.

Peter told her that it would hurt a little bit, but he knows she wasn’t at all prepared for the pain, not after all the torture she’d suffered in the past couple days. As quickly as possible, he straightened out her fingers. It was worse, in that moment, because the reason she screamed was him. He’d done it to protect her, to make sure she escaped here with her hand intact and to stop them from messing with her fingers again, but she didn’t see it that way.

She thought he hurt her on purpose.

He’s wrapping her fingers now with one long strip of cloth he tore off his T-shirt. “By the end of the week,” he jokes, mostly to himself, “we’ll have to go shopping for a new one.”

Cassie yelps as Peter finishes wrapping. He then pushes her arm to her chest, looping the cloth around her neck once and zipping up her hoodie around it. ”We’re not,” she says, “gonna be out in a week, right?”

She’s a smart kid, so Peter thinks about his answer before responding. “I’ve got a plan,” he says finally, “to get us out of here, but I don’t know how long it will take.”

She makes a small hmph and cradles her broken hand. “Is it gonna work?”

“I… I don’t know.”

“Daddy would come up with a plan,” she says simply, staring down at the floor. “Something better than yours.”

Mr. Stark would’ve come up with a plan by now, Peter bets. Something epic, with FRIDAY and Rhodey and Captain America, maybe, and soon they’d all be free.

Right?

“Do you think they have his suit?” Cassie whispers, finally looking up at him.

“His—what?” Peter asks.

“If he has his suit then he can get out, maybe if we—if we—” She scrunches up her face. “We can steal it back! Back from the bad guys! And then he can get small and come get us out! He can! He can!”

Peter blinks. His head is still bursting with pain, but he tries to wrap his mind around what she’s saying. “Get small?” he echoes. “Cassie, that’s—” He blinks again, trying to clear his drug-muddled head. He examines her face, harder this time, and the puzzle pieces drift together. “Is your dad… a superhero, too?”

She nods, but she’s sad now, tears glistening in her eyes. “He’s Ant-Man but he doesn’t have his suit so he can’t save me but maybe they have it and if we went to get it—”

She keeps talking, but Peter’s head is in another place.

Charlie kidnapped two superheroes, not just Peter, and is locking the other away inside of his own lab. Three superheroes in total.

That freak... said Charlie, but when he remembers it the words are all slurred into pieces, took...broken arm...truckload...Winter Soldier...sedatives… There’s a red star on their door, too, just like the one on Mr. Barnes’ arm.

Spider-Man. Iron Man. Ant-Man. Winter Soldier.

When he became Spider-Man, he thought he’d be facing robbers and rapists and muggers and the occasional drunk asshole, not...this. This isn’t something he can escape easily—the smashed leg, the restraints of the Winter Soldier, the drugs that bleed his mind dry of substantial thought, the torture that strips him to pieces every night…

He might not be able to Spider-Man his way out of this one.

He needs to talk to Mr. Stark.

SUNDAY, APRIL 8 — 2:36 AM

Pepper’s back.

Right now she’s complaining that he shouldn’t sleep there, but he can barely hear her. Something’s happening to him, something that seizes his arc reactor and jerks it around inside his chest. He can’t f*cking breathe, not when Peter’s out there, being f*cking tortured

“Tony, just talk to me! I know you’re there!”

He doesn’t say anything.

“Fine.” Through the audio, he hears some shuffling. “I’m going to bed.”

A pregnant pause, like she wants to say something else. But no words come through the speaker, and he watches her walk away on the video screen next to him.

It hurts so f*cking much. Pepper means everything to him.

“I understand,” she says finally, “that you’re scared about what happened to FRIDAY. Just don’t… don’t sleep there, okay? It’s not healthy, honey.” She sighs. “I love you.”

Tony covers his mouth with his hand, crying quietly into his palm. I love you, too.

Tony doesn’t sleep.

He couldn’t possibly sleep.

He works harder than he’s ever worked in his life. The framework of the gun isn’t difficult; he spent years of his life building weapons, after all. But it’s the technology that is stopping him from finishing so soon. The power source for HYDRA’s weaponry, Tony knows, was the Tessaract, a magical power source that will be difficult to replicate with technology. Although Charlie was incredibly high when he said it, he wasn’t wrong. Tony’s arc reactor technology had similar chemical signatures.

He doesn’t have most of the parts he needs to create the weapon; what is he supposed to do without it? The framework is plausible, most likely, but without the other parts and the reactor energy combined, he doesn’t know how it will work.

He works frantically, chugging coffee like it’s water, working until his back aches and his hands shake and his computer screen blurs in front of him. He has to save Peter. He has to.

He blinks. There’s an indicator light at the corner of the screen: DOORBELL ACTIVATED. Who would be knocking at this time of night?

Another indicator: DOORBELL ACTIVATED.

It’s Pepper, he knows, because she’s the only one who visits him this late. But how can she be here so soon? He glances at the time.

It’s 8:04 AM. f*ck.

It feels like no time has passed at all since Pepper last visited him. But she’s here now, again. When he approaches the door, a headache pricking through the back of his head, he can hear her knocking on the door.

She’s hurt, he can tell. “Tony, really? I—” A frustrated sigh. “This is immature and—and—I thought we’d gotten past this, you can’t—you can’t just run every time it gets scary, Tony! It’ll be okay, we’ll figure this out, but you have to come out of there.”

“I can’t,” he whispers, without even touching the audio button. She can’t hear what he says unless he presses it, anyway. “I’m sorry, Pep. It’s gonna be a while, I think.”

“I just want you to be safe and healthy, Tony…” she continues. “But I’m going to a meeting now, and when I get back, I hope you’ve come out of there.”

Watching her walk away on the screen in front of him, Tony puts his hand against his chest and presses like he’s doing CPR on himself. This all feels like some kind of sick dream—he wants to wake up, right f*cking now , but when he pinches at the skin of his arm, nothing happens.

He’s f*cking stuck.

He stands up on wobbly legs and heads back to the computer. He has work to do.

SUNDAY, APRIL 8 — 9:57 AM

The shiiink of the opening food slot startles both Cassie and Peter awake.

Sitting up from her spot on the bed, Cassie lights up like a Christmas tree. “Daddy!”

Beside her, Peter jerks awake, throwing his arm out towards the sound. A bad thing , thinks Cassie sharply, watching him scan the room and then hone in on the open slot. He thinks it’s a bad thing.

Instead of Daddy or a bearded man’s fist, two half-crushed Happy Meals squeeze through the opening. Peter slides towards the opening, shoving the boxes out of the way before croaking “Hey!” and sticking his hand out—

Another shiink, and the slot is shut again.

Peter’s hand hits metal instead of open space, and he huffs in frustration. “No funny business,” warns the voice on the other side. “I’m just giving you breakfast.”

“I like to take my vitamins before my breakfast,” says Peter, and Cassie inches towards those red-and-yellow boxes. “Got any medicine?”

A shout from down the hall. The voice says nothing.

“She’s only seven,” Peter says. His voice is higher now. “Her fingers are broken. Please, just some pain meds, or something.”

“No,” says the voice. It’s a girl voice, Cassie determines. “This is all you get.”

“I’ll trade,” assures Peter. “My food for medicine—she’s only seven.

A thick silence. “She’ll live,” declares the voice finally, and a set of footsteps scurry away.

“No!” cries Peter, and he slams his hand against the door before crumpling in pain.

Cassie is now struggling to unwrap a burger with one hand, and she grumbles in frustration. Her broken hand is still zipped into her hoodie, but her other hand still hovers by it, like the closer it is the less it will hurt.

Two hands pry the burger from her hands, unwrap it, and hand it back to her. Peter looks at her with a weird frown-smile. “How much does it hurt? One to ten.”

“Six,” she answers quickly, looking down at her hand through the cloth. Last time with the red-haired lady hurt a lot more. That was a ten for sure.

He winces. “I’m sorry, kiddo.”

She’s still mad about last night, and she frowns. “You promised.”

“Cassie, I didn’t mean—look, I’m sorry.”

She wrinkles her nose. “It doesn’t hurt like last time,” she says. “It’s...better.”

Peter smiles. “That’s good, Cassie.”

She’s glad she has Peter here to tell her everything’s gonna be okay. At least she’s not alone. Being alone… It’s something that’s hard to understand. It would be like timeout, but forever. She takes a bite of her burger and grimaces. It’s gross . “I hate mustard,” she announces, glaring at the deformed sandwich. “Mommy always lets me take it off.” She holds out the burger to him. “Can you ask for another one?”

Peter stares at her, and the expression on her face bothers her so much that she repeats her question. “Sorry, kiddo,” he says, and his voice sounds like the broken mug Jim once dropped on their kitchen floor. “That’s all we’re gonna get, I think.”

She scowls. “But it’s gross, and—and—and I’m hungry!”

“I know,” he says, and he opens the second Happy Meal Box. He’s hurt, Cassie knows, because every time he moves his face tightens up. “But you’ve gotta eat it. That’s all they’re giving us.”

“I don’t want it!” Frustrated tears bubble up in her eyes, and her lower lip trembles. “I hate mustard! I hate it!”

Peter’s eyes whip over to the door. “Cassie,” he says, like he’s her Mommy and she’s in trouble. “Just keep it down, okay? Gimme the burger, I’ll try to get it off—”

“I don’t want it!” Her voice whirlwinds into a screech. “I want another one, I want a—”

“Calm down, Cassie, just calm—”

“I don’t want it, I hate mustard, I won’t eat it—”

Down the hall, a door slams.

Peter’s eyes go wild a second later, and he shuffles towards her in this frantic half-crawl, half-limp. “Get under the bed.”

“But—”

“Under the bed! Now!”

She scrambles under the bed as fast as she can. There’s just enough space for Peter to squeeze under, too, and he grips the railing at the top and presses his feet to the other at the bottom, letting out a pained sound as he does. His arms shake and his eyes squeeze shut, and Cassie crowds herself as far away from him as possible.

Boots storm into the room, slapping against the concrete, and she slaps her hands over her ears. “Is it too much to ask,” snaps a male voice, “for a little peace and quiet ?” The door slams against the wall, and the loud noise makes her yelp in surprise. Peter’s eyes open, and he makes some shushing sounds before the boots reach them.

“We’re safe,” he whispers, and the boots hit.

Cassie knows her daddy gets beat up sometimes. It happens to superheroes when they’re out fighting the bad guys. But she’s never seen it up close. Now, hands scrabble at Peter’s back, trying to pull him out from under the bed, but he holds fast with his magic hands, gasping in pain. His eyes are closed again. “Get—out—Parker!!” The voice whips into an angry snarl, and Cassie starts crying.

“We’re okay,” Peter manages, just as the boots turn into angry hands, and his eyes are closed again. More of the voices are screaming and shouting and kicking at Peter, but he’s right. She’s safe. Under the bed, surrounded by Peter, a thick wall, and the bed’s railings, with the bed bolted to the floor, she was safe. Her back presses against the wall, but she has one hand still curled in the hem of Peter’s hoodie. Peter’s that fourth wall, the one thing standing between her and the angry, screeching boots.

She closes her eyes and pretends it’s over already.

SUNDAY, APRIL 8 - 11:11 AM

Julia puts down the picture of Cassie and pulls up at a picture of her brother instead. She still hasn’t heard from him, and it’s starting to really freak her out. She’s been trying to gather more information about the missing drug addicts, but no one will talk for fear of being arrested themselves. There are five total drug addicts that disappeared around the time her brother did.

By putting a reward out for information, she’s already gotten a couple tips about what might’ve happened to Charlie. “He’s into angel dust now,” claimed one addict. “That sh*t’ll kill you.”

Angel dust . After a search through the police database, she quickly discovered that angel dust was a street term for phencyclidine, a drug she knew nothing about. “You know anything about PCP?” Julia asks Woo, as soon as he enters the station that morning.

“The drug?” he asks, leaning against the nearest table to stare at the wall full of photos and information.

“No, the musical,” she quips. “Yes, the drug.”

Woo scratches his head. “Yeah, I mean—I started out in narcotics, so… I know a lot about it. Why?”

“You know that other case I’m working on?” Julia raps the board in front of her with her pen. He nods. “According to my sources...That’s some of the missing drug addicts were getting into.”

He nods. “It’s pretty addictive—it’s a dissociative drug, makes you numb and out of it at low doses. Can be mixed with weed or tobacco… It’s not too common, honestly, ‘cause people’ve heard too many freaky stories to want to take it. It’s pretty unpredictable, and side effects all depend on how much you take, uh…”

“What about if” —she frowns— “you take it at higher doses?”

He shrugs, helpless. “Not good. Remember that rapper, Big Lurch?”

It sounds familiar, and she nods.

“He’s the one who killed his roommate and” —he scratches at his head again— “ate her?”

She remembers the news story. The Cannibal Rapper: Man Gets Life for Woman’s Murder. The perpetrator been reportedly found naked and covered in blood in the middle of the street; the victim had teeth marks all over her and her lungs torn from her chest. “No,” she says, blinking away her disbelief. “That’s PCP?”

He gives another helpless shrug. “I mean, that was an isolated incident—besides, the only people who act crazy violent on PCP are people on high doses with histories of violence.”

“And without a history of violence?”

“On high doses...there’s a lot of delusions, paranoia, suicidal thinking… If you put them in a calmer setting, they’ll get all spaced out, but any stressors will really make them freak out. I mean, and this still all varies from person to person, how much, how long—do you know, have your suspects been using for a long time?”

“I don’t know,” she answers. “I need more info. But this...this is a start.”

“Glad I could help,” says Woo. “Now, let’s go. We’ve got some more potential witnesses for the Paxton-Lang case.”

She nods. “Got it.” She shrugs on her jacket. “I’ll drive.”

SUNDAY, APRIL 8 — 12:25 PM

Pepper’s back again.

Again, again, again.

To Tony, it’s only been minutes. Time’s blurry now, jumping between seeing Peter’s bloodstained face and his plans for the HYDRA weapon. He can’t tell how much time has passed; he feels like he’s back in that f*cking cave, where every second was a year and another pained heartbeat through a car battery.

She’s mad this time. She yells at him through the door, telling him he’s being childish and immature and he wishes he could scream back.

But he can’t. Not with Peter’s life on the line.

He’ll do whatever it takes to get Peter back home safe, even if it means ignoring the love of his life. As she continues to talk, he sits with his back against the door, and before long he’s crying again, legs slack on the floor, tears streaming down his face. He cries so hard that he can feel it in every part of him, so hard that he thinks he might throw up, so hard that he can feel his body wither with each sob. Maybe it’s because he hasn’t slept all night or because he hasn’t like this in months, but it happens, and all he can see is Peter in that f*cking chair as Pepper yells through the door, and all at once he can’t breathe.

They have his kid.

His throat tightens to a metal straw, and every breath becomes a mountain, avalanches of panic crashing into his lungs and into his arc reactor. His hands shake like crazy, trembling as he tries to calm himself, but nothing is working. He can hear Pepper walk away with another shout. If he looked at the videoscreen beside him, he’d probably find her stabbing her finger in his direction like a knife, but he won’t look. He’s still struggling to breathe, tightness wrapping around his chest. His left arm hurts, and as soon as he can breathe again he struggles to his feet, clutching his arm to his chest. He stumbles over to the TV and touches it, leaving his hand there like he can pat Peter’s shoulder through the screen. It’s warm but dark, void of any life. He can’t help but remember the way Peter thrashed—


They have his f*cking kid .

SUNDAY, APRIL 8 — 2:18 PM

“Luke?”

“No.”

“Han Solo?”

“No.”

“Anakin?”

“No. Ned, it’s like you’re not even trying.”

Ned snorts. “Well, sorry! Tell me which one you are then.”

MJ looks up from her drawing to give him a half-annoyed look. “Darth Maul.”

“Darth—are you serious?”

She keeps sketching. “Yup.”

“But you’re not—MJ, that’s like—in what universe are you Darth Maul?”

“This one.”

Ned flips down on the floor and groans. “If Peter was here he would agree with me!” He shakes his fist at the ceiling. “PETER!!!” A pencil smacks him on the side of the head. “Hey!”

MJ smirks. “Quit being such a loud dumbass, or my parents will make us go to the library or something.”

“I can’t help being a dumbass,” he mumbles, still looking up at the ceiling. “It’s in my bloo—hey!” Another pencil soars over his head.

“Where is Peter, anyway? He was supposed to be here” —she taps at her phone— “like an hour ago, what the hell. You did text him, right?”

Ned props himself up on his elbows. “Uh...yeah. A bunch. Maybe it didn’t send, lemme check.” When he taps open his and Peter’s conversation, all of his messages have sent. No loading bar, nothing. And they’re unread, too. “Maybe he overslept.”

“It’s past two,” MJ mentions. “Doubt it.”

Ned shrugs. “Maybe he had a long night.”

She scoffs. “Doing what?”

“Legos?” Ned offers.

MJ launches another pencil at his head.

SUNDAY, APRIL 8 — 4:13 PM

She was too harsh with him before, she knows it. The last time their AI shut down he was practically manic, unable to sleep or think until it was back online. “I know you’re going through a lot, Tony, but just talk to me, okay?” She sighs. “We’re going to get married, honey. You’re the most important person in my life. The most important relationship, and what matters most is communication. Right?”

Nothing.

“So just talk to me. Talk to me.”

It’s like talking to a wall. Actually, she is talking to a wall: one made of vibranium-reinforced steel.

“I’m sorry, Tony, I really am. I didn’t mean to get so...upset with you. I’m just worried, that’s all. You can’t—” She sighs. “Don’t shut me out like this. When you’re feeling...like this, we can work it out, but we have to do it together. You and me, remember? That’s how we do things now. Not like…” She gestures vaguely even though he’s probably not watching the camera feed. “...this.”

She begs and pleads and gets mad again and apologizes once more. It doesn’t matter; he’s not responding at all. There isn’t even a flutter of movement that she can see through the locked-down lab that would let her know that he heard her.

As soon as she gets back to the house, she calls Rhodey. There’s nothing else she can do.

He picks up after the second ring. “Hey, Pep. How are you?”

“Fine—you talked to Tony ,lately?”

Scuffling on the other end. “No. Not since FRIDAY went off the rails. How is he?”

Pepper tenses. “He… He shut himself in his lab.”

“Sounds like him. FRIDAY’s still down?”

“Yeah.”

“Then you shouldn’t be too surprised. He always gets like this when he feels...attacked. Just wait it out.”

Pepper sits down on the couch and shifts the phone to her other ear. “Yeah, I know. I’m just worried.”

“This is Tony we’re talking about,” Rhodey reminds her. “He used to spend weeks in that place, just working, trying to make some genius idea become reality. He’ll be fine.”

“He’s not eating,” Pepper adds.

“There’s food in there,” he replies. “He’s not gonna starve, Pepper.”

She sighs. “I know.”

Rhodey pauses. “I wouldn’t worry too much about him. He knows how to keep himself alive, even if it is on coffee and protein bars. He’s just gotta get this out of his system, you’ll see.”

“Yeah.” She bites her lip. “Okay. Thanks.”

“Anytime.”

She calls Peter next. If there’s anyone who can get Tony out of a funk, it’s him. She calls his cell and his home phone, but both eventually go to voicemail. So she votes to text him again later—he’s probably busy with homework—and she texts Happy instead.

You know about Tony? she texts.

It takes him a few seconds, but he does respond. Yes. Still in the lab?

Yeah. Hey - you heard from Peter lately? I think he might be able to get Tony out of there.

Three dots flicker on the screen. Got an email from May. Said Peter got a scholarship to do some research thing - they won’t be back for a few weeks.

He’s taking time off school?

Yes.

Pepper blinks at her phone. Wow. Good for him.

Email said there might not be service - I don’t know if you can still contact him.

Ok, she replies. Thanks.

At least she doesn’t have to worry about Peter; having to worry about whether or not Tony is taking care of himself is like torture.

SUNDAY, APRIL 8 — 5:22 PM

Mi amor ?”

Julia blinks. She’s been staring at this little girl’s file for far too long, and now she sits back in her chair and rubs at her eyes. “Yeah… Sorry.”

Cristian sits down across from her and taps his finger on the file. “They shouldn’t have given you a case como esto , Julia. I know how…”

She winces.

“It’s not going to be easy for you.”

She flips the case file over. She’s not supposed to let him see confidential files like this one. “It doesn’t matter… It’ll be a quick one, I think.”

“Why?” he prompts.

“‘Cause the kid lives with her mom and stepdad, but the biological dad is missing, too.”

“You think he took her?”

She shrugs. “It’s either that, or someone took them both. But ninety-nine times out of a hundred, when kids go missing, it’s a relative. And if the dad’s gone…”

“...then he took her.”

She nods, fiddling with the edge of the file. “So we’ve just gotta find where he took the girl, probably to a grandparent or something, and case closed.”

Cristian takes her hand from the papers and holds lightly. “If you’re so sure that the father did it,” he asks, “then why is this bothering you so much?”

Julia looks back down at the file, where Cassie’s name sticks out in front of her. “I don’t know,” she says quietly. “I don’t know.”

SUNDAY, APRIL 8 — 7:00 PM

The phone rings. He scrambles to pick it up, and the voice on the other end growls in his ear. He knows the routine by now. “Eyes on the screen, Stark.”

He watches in barely contained horror as, once again, Peter is dragged into the chair as his captors lock in his arm restraints. This time, he’s more awake, blinking and confused and shouting something at someone offscreen. No, Peter , he thinks. He knows what the kid looks like when he’s about to fight, and he’s got that face on right now, but it’s smattered with bruises—

He swings his foot out at his captor’s face, but his movements are floppy and sluggish, slowed by drugs. His face is swollen and purpled, his knee is a mess of blood, and burns line the left side of his head. He shouts out, but the sound is so crowded by the other yelling in the room that Tony doesn’t understand him. It isn’t until they hit him in response, sending a crack through the middle of his face; blood snakes down his bare chest.

Again, Tony is helpless. “Peter!” he screeches, and he fists the phone in one hand, pressing it against the side of his head as though it’ll get him closer to his kid. He’s helpless . “Peter, it’s gonna be okay, it’s gonna—stop it! Don’t f*cking—”

“Quiet, Stark!” barks Charlie.

He bites into his hand to make himself stop. His heart pummels away in his chest—he can’t breathe, so he slumps to the floor and tries to inhale through his nose, but his chest burns.

Finally, once Peter is locked into the chair, with one guy pinning his head to the back of the chair to stop him from moving. He’s trying to stay calm, Tony notices, but his eyes are wide and he’s shaking like a leaf. “I need you to do something for me, Stark.”

“I’m doing,” Tony growls, “everything you—”

“Don’t take that tone with me,” snaps Charlie. “I’m in f*cking charge here, Tony Stark. Me. Not you. Me. Apologize.”

His voice catches. “Sorry,” he mumbles.

“Louder.”

“Sorry,” he says again.

Peter’s head turn at the sound of his voice, and he starts with a croak, “Mr. Sta—”

They hit him again—”Shut up! ” cries one—and this time the guy holding his head pulls out a knife and puts it to Peter’s throat.

Every cell in Tony’s body screams, and bites down again into his hand, harder.

“What you’re gonna do for me,” continues Charlie, as if blood isn’t currently gushing from Peter’s nose, “is make sure that bitch stops coming up to your door. We don’t need that kind of attention. It’s dangerous.”

“Please,” says Tony, but his eyes are trained on Peter. How long can the kid last like this? Sure, he’s got superpowers, but he’s only sixteen and he’s been tortured for so long—what if Tony doesn’t make the weapon in time? “Let me—let me talk to her. She’ll keep coming unless you let me—”

“Is that a threat, Stark?” There’s a red line down the side of Peter’s neck now, and he’s whimpering, eyes fixed on the knife.

Onscreen, the room is still, the only movement now the flighty twitches of Peter’s body. “No,” Tony says quickly, and he swallows hard. He has to be careful. “It’s just a suggestion. Please. Let me talk to her. She’s my fiancé, she’s worried—”

“Break up with her.”

Tony stares at the man on his television screen. What? “No,” he says automatically. “I can’t—”

“This isn’t a game,” Charlie says. Picking up his hammer, he moves towards Peter, and the boy flinches back, twisting his body in the chair. “I already planned it out. I’ll tell you just what to say. I’ll have Parker on lockdown the whole time.”

“No—please—I just need to talk—don’t make me—”

“You’ll do exactly as I say,” warns Charlie, swinging his hammer from side to side, “or I’ll take out Parker's other knee.”

Tony doesn’t miss the way Peter’s entire body shakes in response.

“Please,” Tony begs, “if I could just explain—”

Charlie laughs, and sweat drips down his forehead. “Explain what? That her precious Tony Stark is my bitch?”

Everything is crumbling between his fingers. “No—no—please, please, just don’t make me—don’t hurt him, I’ll—please, this is” — too much, he wants to say, for me to take— “ not gonna work—”

“Shut up!

Tony hates that they can see him right now, that they can see how much he’s shaking, that they know how much this is destroying him. He’s too old for this.

“You’re gonna do it,” Charlie continues, “and you’re not gonna f*cking whine about it, Stark! You’re gonna do exactly as I say!”

SUNDAY, APRIL 8 — 10:21 PM

Of course she went back. Tony’s her fiance, after all, and she’s not going to let him lock himself away in his lab like this. So she heads back, this time with a venti iced coffee, but this one’s decaf. She knows how he gets when he’s like this, so she’s not about to give him his usual six shots of espresso.

“Tony,” she begins, mostly because she doesn’t know how else to start, “I brought you…” There’s a strange noise from the inside of the door, some clicking and releasing. “...coffee.”

The door opens slowly, as though a hesitant child expectant of a scolding is on the other side; instead, Tony’s standing there now, and Pepper almost chokes on her surprise. “Tony!”

He looks like a wreck.

Pepper has seen Tony on his worst days (and his best ones, too), but she’s never seen him like this . It’s something entirely beyond hurt or traumatized or upset. There’s simply no word for it. It’s like he’s been destroyed from the inside out . Lack of sleep is written all over his face; Tony is ghostlike—exhaustion bleeds from his features. “Tony,” she echoes, and his face is completely empty. She knows Tony better than anyone, but she’s never seen...

“You have to stop,” he says first. His voice is scratchy, so dry that it cracks on the second word. To her surprise, he doesn’t even glance at the coffee. “Please.” He winces.

She’s never, ever seen him like this. “Honey—” She blinks at him. “Come on, let’s go home—”

“I’m staying here,” he continues, and his voice is so strange that she takes another step towards him. He’s shaking . “You have to go. I’m not leaving.”

“Like hell I’m leaving,” Pepper snaps, and when she moves forward again, her hair tickles the side of her face. She only pulled it into a messy bun before leaving the house. “This isn’t healthy, this isn’t safe, and I’m worried , Tony—this isn’t like you!”

He’s eerily silent, and his eyes fix on hers. His gaze is so perfectly still, like it was the day he proposed. I know, he said that day, more than anything else in the world, that I would do anything for you. You mean the world to me. He was so still then, so sure, so positively still that the world seemed to stop around them. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I would die for you.

She laughed, then, and rolled her eyes. Don’t be so dramatic.

I’m serious , he said, and he kissed her palm. I would.

“I don’t” —his voice falls into nothing— “want to see you anymore.”

Pepper ignores him. “Did you sleep last night?”

“Why does it matter?” he snaps back, and then he flinches. There’s something wrong here, but Pepper can’t put her finger on it. His sentences are all stilted, all wrong, like he’s reading off of a broken teleprompter. “I don’t—want you—coming back here. This is my lab, and you don’t belong here.”

“I’m no engineer,” she says, “but I belong here as much as you do! You can’t just kick me out of your life because you’re scared —I’m not going away anytime soon!”

Again, Tony steps back. She examines his face all over again, but still she doesn’t understand. He blinks, finally, and his mouth twitches. “I hate you,” he says.

The air tastes bitter. “Don’t do that,” she snaps. She knows she came back with the intent of being gentle with him, but she’s pushing past that. “You can’t just push me away because you’re scared! Just talk to me, Tony. I’m here and I’m not going away, you’re gonna hurt yourself like this—”

“Shut up! ” he shouts, and this time his feet stay rooted in the ground. He’s holding his left wrist, rubbing it, which Pepper knows is a sign of severe anxiety for him. “Just listen. We can’t—be together anymore.”

“What the hell are you talking about?”

His eyes glance left. “We’re not good—together. It’s not—it’s not working. I don’t want you here.”

“Tony—”

“I don’t love you.”

Her heart twists; her body stiffens. It’s the most hurtful thing he could say to her, and he knows it. I love you, Pep, he said just the other night. They were watching Big Hero 6 for the fortieth time in their living room, Tony’s sprawled over their wide couch with his head in her lap. She simply made a mmhm sound in response and tilted her head back against the couch cushion, stroking her fingers through his hair.

For such an incredibly intelligent man, Tony didn’t watch a lot of documentaries or historical films. He watched cartoons. It was something they had in common—something about having to grow up too fast made both of them crave the easy rhythm of cartoon movies all the time. As they watched, he kept saying it, all while watching the TV. God, I love you.

What is it? she asked finally. You want me to join a superhero-robot team with you? Is that what you’re picturing? Pepper Potts, the next Avenger?

He laughed. No, I mean… I’ve just never felt like this before with someone.

That’s why we’re engaged, she reminded him with a tap to his cheek.

I know. He closed his eyes and smiles, that easy, dopey smile that she cherished so much. It’s just… I want that.

What?

That. And he pointed vaguely at the screen, where the young protagonist was talking animatedly to his robot friend. Kids.

Now, Pepper stares at him, still blinking in shock. “Don’t,” she repeats. “I know you’re upset—don’t say something you’ll regret.”

He takes a step towards her this time. He’s in pain—she always knows when he’s in pain like this, but he looks different this time. “Pepper,” he says. “I don’t want to see you here again.”

“Don’t do that, Tony, just come home—”

She sees it coming a split second before it happens, and the drop in her stomach isn’t soon enough to allow her to duck—he hits her, whips his right hand across her face hard enough that she’s left stunned. It’s so out of place that she stands there dumbfounded for a couple seconds before fury rushes in. “You asshole,” she seethes, dropping her hand from her cheek. Tony flinches, and she wants to slap the look right off of his face. “You goddamn asshole! ” He doesn’t say anything. There was a rule they made, when they first started dating. They each had their flaws, piles of trust issues and poor decisions and boundaries… But you can’t ever, ever hit me, she said. If you do, I’ll be gone. I know what it’s like, and if it happens again, then this is over. I can’t do that again.

He gave her this sad, tilted look. Me, too.

And that was it. Over the years, they’d had their fair share of disputes, fights, and screaming matches, but they never got physical, never neared a physical threat or even abusive language. They’d never laid a hand on one another.

Until today.

Pepper twists at the ring on her finger, feeling the burn of shame wash over her face. She can’t believe, after all this time—

“Get out,” Tony says, and she can’t even see him anymore, just streaks of color blurred by rising tears.

“You’re just like your father,” she hears herself say, and Tony’s body seems to tense with her words. “A selfish, abusive asshole.” Then she finally twists the ring off of her finger and drops it at his feet before storming away.

Tony doesn’t say a word as she goes.

She hopes she never has to see his face again. After all this time… Tony was just like the rest of them. As the heat fades from her cheek, she realizes she’s still holding his coffee.

She throws it as far as she can.

MONDAY, APRIL 9 — 11:14 AM

“I don’t want to do this,” says Riri Williams for the umpteenth time that night. “He’s gonna kill me.”

Nick grips the steering wheel harder. “Not likely, kid. You’re fifteen. He won’t touch you.”

People tend to change, Riri thinks darkly, when you torture their sixteen-year-old intern. But she says nothing, instead fiddling with the box of supplies in her lap.

She’s the youngest in Charlie’s crew by a few years, and she’s the only one who hasn’t gotten into any heavy drug sh*t. Her older brother Eric, who practically raised her, used to run around with Charlie and the others, selling and using, but he dove in way too deep, got himself killed over a money squabble.

After he died, she went into foster care for a while. Got a nice family, a real good one who fueled her passion for engineering and helped her learn more about computers. Even though she loved them to death, she loved her brother more. So when Charlie came to her a few weeks ago with a proposition to avenge her brother and change the world, she couldn’t say no. She left her perfect world behind and joined Charlie’s team.

Now… She’s starting to regret it.

From behind the steering wheel, Nick looks over at her. “Riri, don’t worry. He’s not gonna do anything to you, not while we have Spider-Guy.”

“But what if he—”

“He won’t,” he assures her. “We’ve got cameras all over him. You don’t got nothin’ to worry about.”

That doesn’t stop her stomach from crawling up into her throat. She feels sick.

From the base to Stark’s lab, it’s a six-hour drive, so they pull over halfway through, stopping at a McDonald’s to get something to eat.

The drive-thru’s five miles long, so Nick parks it just outside the place and hops out of the car. “Whaddaya want?” he asks. She gives him her order, and he taps it into his phone so he won’t forget. “Don’t go anywhere,” he jokes as soon as he’s done, and he slams the door shut.

Riri relaxes as soon as he exits the car. She’s never felt safe around them, not really, only closer to her brother. Eric used to get himself into a lot of trouble hanging with Charlie and his crew, and now Riri sees why. She never thought Charlie would go so far as to… Nausea twists in her stomach as she recalls seeing the little girl with the brutalized arm and the teenage boy reeking of burning flesh. She didn’t sign up for this.

She didn’t sign up to be an accomplice to torture.

She’s alone in the car now, and when she drops her gaze to the driver’s side, she spots the keys sitting in the cupholder farthest from her, glinting dangerously. Her hand twitches. How easy would it be? She could take the keys and drive, leave Nick in the middle of nowhere with nothing but his hunger and his tempestuous temper. It would be so easy . She could stick the keys into the ignition and drive like she’s Ferris Bueller in a bright red Ferrari, blazing over the streets of wherever-the-hell-they-are, free.

She digs the keys out of the cupholder and raises them up. Free . It’s a concept she hasn’t known in a long time. It’s not easy to be free when the people caring for her are aggressive, delusional addicts.

She’s just a kid herself, really, so seeing a kid just a year older than her restrained to a chair and drugged up to his eyeballs made confused fear ripple over her. If they’re willing to do that to a sixteen-year-old and a seven-year-old, what would they do to her if she tried to leave?

She drops the keys back into their original position. Who is she kidding? She’ll never be free of them. She’s too damn scared . She’s seen them at their worst and at their best. She’s been beaten at their hands and protected by their weapons. These people are the only link she has to her family, the only true connection she has to the world. Besides, she’s one of the only people in the crew who knows how to calm Charlie down. If she can do that, then maybe she can talk him out of hurting these kids.

If she can’t run away, then at least she can help those two escape. She hasn’t done something good like this in a long time; maybe this can be her redemption.

It’s around two when they finally arrive. Nick parks way outside the property and sends her the directions from his phone. Shoving the box of supplies into her arms, he reminds her, “It’s gonna be a long walk, but you’ll be okay. Stay out of sight. Remember, Lang unlocked the back gate and took out all the cameras. Stay out of sight , you hear me? If they find you, you’re f*cking screwed.”

“Great,” she mutters.

Nick scowls. “This isn’t a f*cking joke, Riri. This is the only way we’re ever gonna come out on top. This is the way we’re gonna save the world.”

She hates it when they talk like this, like torturing and blackmailing is gonna stop world hunger or bring her brother back. “Fine,” she says.

“Now, tell me what you’re gonna do.” She repeats it back to him a couple times, and once he seems satisfied, he settles back into the driver’s seat and nods his head in the direction of Stark’s lab. “Then get moving. We don’t have a whole lot of time.” He pats her shoulder. “You got it, Riri. I’m gonna call Charlie—he’ll make Stark open that back door to let you in. We’re all counting on you.”

She gives him a half-grimace, half-smile and shifts the box in her hands.

It’s not a difficult trek, but the box makes her much less stealthy than she’d usually consider herself to be. Nobody sees her, though, and when she finally passes through the back gate and makes it to the back door of Stark’s lab, she sets the box down and bangs firmly on the door. It’s a strange-looking place; the outside is mostly lined with shining white plates or exposed metal. It looks geometrical, every line connecting to another at a ninety-degree angle. Where windows should be are massive sheets of reinforced metal, and it covers the door, too, as well as any other opening that would be useful. There’s no sign of life from within, but Stark must be in there; Nick said he would call.

There’s a sudden whirr before a series of clicks, and then the metal over the door slides into the ground. A few seconds later, Tony Stark stands in front of her, silent. She doesn’t know what she expected, but this middle-aged man with graying hairs and tired eyes holding his arm like it’s broken... He is not the Tony Stark she has seen on TV.

She clears her throat. Her heart’s spinning in her chest—she’s usually behind the scenes, so meeting the man who she’s heard sob into his phone because of what Charlie did...this is different. “...hi.”

Tony Stark clutches his arm a little harder, and his eyes linger on her before scanning the area behind her. He doesn’t say a word.

Riri holds out the box. “There’s, um…” His stare is relentless. “...food. And the parts you asked for.”

He looks around again, like he’s waiting for someone else to show up, but this time his eyes twitch and he glares at her with a vicious heat. She thinks, briefly, if Nick could get to her in time before Tony Stark strangled her to death. She shoves the box into his hands and bolts back to Nick’s car.

As she runs, she can still see the look of absolute devastation on his face.

MONDAY, APRIL 9 — 7:08 PM

Ned’s been texting Peter since yesterday, but he still hasn’t gotten a response.

Early Monday morning, he shows up at the Parkers’ apartment. They’ve still gotta work on that project for history class; he’s come to Peter’s early before, and he texted May, so he hopes it’s okay. Ned doesn’t live far from Peter, so it’s not much of a trip anyway.

But neither of them are responding. His strings of texts to both May and Peter are unanswered. He knocks repeatedly, but no one answers. There’s light trickling out from under the door, but after knocking for a solid ten minutes and getting no response, he assumes they’re asleep.

Maybe they’re both sick, he thinks. Or they went on a trip and forgot to tell him.

It’s a little strange, this whole situation, but stranger things have happened. At least if they’re together, Ned knows they’re okay.

By lunch, he’s worked himself up to a full freak-out. “You good, Nedward?” MJ asks, after launching a crumpled sketch of the cafeteria lady at him. “You look like your dog just died.”

He shakes his head. “Peter’s not responding.”

“He’s not your Siamese twin, dude,” she reminds him. “Let the guy breathe. He probably took the day off.”

Ned snorts. “Peter doesn’t take days off! He’s in four APs!” Maybe he’s at Tony’s. That could happen, right? He’s had to stay home from school after recovering from Spider-Man injuries before. It could happen. “I’ll...be right back.” He snatches up his phone and runs out into the hallway, dialing Mr. Stark’s private number. It’s meant for emergencies only, but Ned can’t help it. He has to know what’s happening to Peter.

Mr. Stark doesn’t pick up, so Ned texts him instead. hey mr. stark do you know where peter is? he’s not answering his phone or anything

is he with you? i know you’re busy but i’m really worried

sorry mr. stark can you please just get back to me? may isn’t answering either

He texts Peter, so much that he knows Peter’s gonna kill him when he finally responds.

hey peter plz don’t be dead haha

where r u man

u sick?

ill ask around for notes if u want

He wouldn’t be worrying so much if this wasn’t Peter Benjamin Parker who’d gone radio-silent. Peter texts all the time. Nonstop. He texts ike there’s a demon in his hands. He texts while Spider-Man, texts while driving, texts while in class. Any time Ned texted him, Peter responded. He’d woken Peter up from his naps by waking him up with the buzz-buzz of his texts.

And now he’s gone completely silent. It’s creepy, and Ned lets him know.

dude, he texts, this is creepy lemme k ur alive. u got ur phone takin away?

u with mr. stark? please lmk

where’s may?

dude respoooond

Peter doesn’t answer.

By the end of the day, Ned’s full-on freaked.

For the second time that day, Ned finds himself at the Parkers’ apartment, banging on the door.

Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Peter won’t answer the phone. May won’t answer the phone. Tony won’t answer the phone. And the worst part is, he can see light still under the door. He redials and redials and double-checks the numbers and redials again until finally, f*cking finally, Tony Stark picks up.

Euphoria shoots through Ned, the kind of relief that makes him slump back against the wall. “Oh, thank God! Peter hasn’t responded to my texts in like two days and I thought maybe he was with you on some kind of important mission—like an Avengers thing or something—so you gotta let me know that he’s okay, I’ve been calling for—”

“Ned.”

Ned stops talking. He’s never heard Mr. Stark say his name like that. “Yes—um, yes, Mr. Stark, sir?”

“I need you to listen very carefully,” states the man on the other line. It’s Tony Stark’s voice for sure, but something’s off. “Peter isn’t coming back for a while.”

Ned feels sick, dread churning in his chest. “What—whaddaya mean—not coming back? Is he hurt? Is he” —not dead, Ned thinks, sh*t, please, not dead not dead— “on an Avengers thing?”

There’s a strained silence. “I can’t tell you where he is. It would put you in a lot of danger.” Ned blurts out more questions, but Tony stops him. “Ned. Stop. Listen . Stop looking into this. If you do, you could put Peter in a lot of danger, understand?”

“Is he okay?” he squeaks out.

“He’s fine. For now. Right now, your mission is to keep quiet about it.” He’s speaking slowly, carefully, like every word is painful. “Make sure no one get suspicious—if anyone finds out anything about Peter he could die, got it?

Ned swallows. “Got it.”

“Good. If anyone asks, he’s doing a research program somewhere. Alaska—no service.

“Okay, um… And M-May? What do i say?”

There’s a long silence on the other end, followed by a series of muffled noises. After a minute or so, the noise clears and Tony responds. “May Parker is in the hospital right now.”

Ned feels like he’s being strangled; his voice comes out smaller, weaker. “Wha-what? From the—the—the stuff that Peter’s involved in?”

A pause. “Yes. She’ll be okay...eventually. I need you to stay calm about this. If you tell anyone, I will find out. The Avengers are working with SHIELD on this one, Ned. If they find out you told anyone, you’ll be arrested. You. Can’t. Tell. Anyone.”

“Okay, okay, but… Can I talk to him?”

“No.” Ned’s heart clenches. “I’m trusting you, Ned. Peter’s life is in your hands.”


TUESDAY, APRIL 10 — 6:02 PM

The little girl in the corner doesn’t know him very well—and he hasn’t spoken to her much since the whole thing started. He’s been planning and planning and thinking and planning more and listening to every single conversation he can. He’s learning their names: Riri. Charlie. Haroun. Nick. Ava. Lyle. It’s hard to think with all of the sedatives in his system, but he keeps going to the sink and drinking straight from the tap. He’s not sure if drinking water will dilute the sedation, but he’s trying .

Cassie’s not really talking a lot. She cries, and she hugs the McDonald’s toys a lot, and she sits and watches him.

“I’m hungry,” she says.

Peter doesn’t have even a morsel of food for this little Cassie; and he doesn’t want to draw attention to himself and the little girl, so he says, “Drink more water from the sink then.” He’s in so much pain that it’s impossible to think even a sentence without getting through a gasp of pain.

Cassie listens to him, walking over to the sink and reaching inside. She’s not quite tall enough to reach with her mouth, so the little girl cups her unbroken hand and lets it fill with water before slurping from her palm.

“Better?” he says, once she’s gotten her fill.

“No,” she says, so she keeps drinking more.

Their cell is so small. Toilet, bed, sink. Sink, bed, toilet. A pile of flattened Happy Meal boxes in the corner. A collection of McDonald’s toys in a bucket.

They’ve created a kind of routine. When Cassie or Peter has to use the toilet, the other one has to close their eyes and face the other way for privacy—it’s as much privacy as they can get. Because they’re so hungry all of the time, they drink a sh*t-ton of water, enough to fill the rest of their empty bellies; using the bathroom becomes a constant activity.

The little girl’s crying. Cassie , he remembers. “I wanna go home!” she wails. “I want Mommy!”

Peter can hear every sound in this stupid cell; she’s being way too loud. Down the hall, his captors mumble and argue about ‘that loud little bitch.’ “I know,” he says, ignoring the pain in his leg. “But we gotta be quiet, okay?”

She’s crying still: “I WANNA GO HOME!!”

Peter listens hard; again, complaints about the girl. “Cassie,” he says, and the girl sniffles through her sobs. “Cassie. Hey. I’m gonna get you home, okay?”

She sniffles again. “What?”

“I’m gonna figure out a way to get us home,” says Peter. “You just…gotta be quiet, okay?”

Cassie nods through her tears, and she leaps forward, hugging him around his bruised middle. She buries her cries in the front of his shirt. Peter hesitates, but he finds himself wrapping his arms around her.

Their plan is simple: Operation Falcon.

Peter will stick to the ceiling, Cassie will cling to him, and they will crawl all the way to the exit on the ceiling. What could go wrong? They’ve forgotten to dose him, so he’s slowly getting his senses back, and they’ve only been here for a few days—maybe they won’t expect it.

They get ready early in the morning, Peter sticking to the ceiling with his hands and bare feet. Without his socks, he sticks much better. The ceiling is covered in grime and random black spots, but he ignores the grime. His forearm’s still recovering from a stab wound, and his whole body shakes with the weary effort of holding himself to the ceiling, but he sticks, Cassie clinging tightly to his middle.

Noise at the door. A key. Peter tenses up, and the cell tints with hallway light as the heavy vibranium door opens up. “The hell?” says a drug-addled voice. “Yo! RJ! The kids aren’t here!” Taking the opportunity, Peter scampers over the top of the door-jamb, and Cassie screams in surprise. Their captor looks up—“Oh, sh*t!”—and jumps to grab at them as they crawl across the ceiling.

It takes every ounce of strength in Peter not to drop the little girl.

Spider-crawling as fast as he can, he races to the doors at the end of the hall. He’s pictured this moment already a hundred times: freedom, freedom, freedom! I’m coming home, Aunt May! Mr. Stark, everything’s gonna be okay! Just a hundred feet to the doors, then ninety, then eighty—

He hits his knee on a ceiling light, and there’s a burst of pain so nauseating that he loses control of his legs. Cassie screams, and her hold on him tightens astronomically. He’s dangling from the ceiling by his sticky hands; the pain in his knee is so intense that he starts to gag. “Peter!” screams Cassie.

Even from the ceiling, he can recognize their bearded, addict captor. Still dizzy with pain and hunger, Peter manages to lift his leg back to the ceiling, but his mangled leg dangles in the air like a ripe piece of meat.

Charlie’s got the sledgehammer; the fear in Peter rises so fast that he tries to move again, but he only manages to dislodge his other leg. He’s not strong enough. Straining, Peter shouts, “No !” and kicks out at the man. Charlie dodges his leg with ease and grabs it with one hand.

Pain like barbed wire strangles his knee where the man grabs it, and his arms loosen—Cassie slips from his battered arms with a scream: “ Peter! ” She’s flat on her back, crying, as Peter still sticks to the ceiling, helpless.

The red-haired woman grabs Cassie; Peter hears the whistle of steel hammer through air, and he tries to jerk away from the blow—a shock of pain explodes over the side of his leg—

Peter passes out before he hits the ground.

They beat Peter after the escape—and slapped Cassie around a bit—so they’re laying on their ratty mattress side-by-side and being still. It hurts to move.

“Can we play a game?” asks Cassie quietly. She sounds tired, far more tired than a seven-year-old should be.

“Sure,” he says, wincing. There’s a new flood of sedatives in his system, stuff that makes his mouth taste like rust and his limbs feel like pillars of ocean-wet sand. The ceiling swims above him.

“I spy?”

Peter can’t ‘spy’ anything but the drug-induced whorls in the concrete ceiling, but if it’ll keep her from crying... “Sure,” he says again.

“You start.”

His head lolls to one side. “I spy with my little eye…” Peter starts. “...something gray.”

The game takes pleasantly long, Cassie picking out nearly everything gray in the room: the ceiling, the walls, the toilet, the sink… Every tally mark scratched into their walls. Every railing in their bed. Every stain in their mattress. Every pockmark in their floor.

And by the time they’re finally done, Cassie says she’s tired and curls into his side. “My head hurts,” she says.

“I know,” says Peter.

“I don’t wanna try to leave again.”

Peter closes his eyes. “We’ve got to.”

SATURDAY, APRIL 14 — 2:30 PM

Peter and Cassie have been planning nonstop since Operation Falcon went south.

Peter keeps her up and running in the cell by playing ‘Red Light, Green Light.’ They don’t play too much, afraid of losing the precious few calories they’re given, but it keeps the girl’s hopes up, which is worth more now than a couple hundred calories. “Green light,” he whispers, and Cassie dashes to the toilet, patting the wall when she reaches it. “Red light!” She pauses like a deer in headlights, smiling.

It’s so good to see her smile.

Peter has never thought too much about kids, given that his childhood was so scattered, but having Cassie around makes him think about it way more. He always thought he’d be a scientist or an engineer when he grew up, but… He wouldn’t mind being a teacher now. Elementary school or middle school or something. He likes being around her—her infectious laughter and naive humor and infinite curiosity.

Lunch comes late, around three o’clock. Two happy meals alongside a gift from one of their kinder captors, a woman named Ava. Cassie squeals when she sees it—a brown paper bag stapled shut—and looks up at Peter for permission. It smells like food. “Can I open it?” she asks, face eager with hunger.

Peter’s own stomach gnaws on itself; he’s so hungry he’s been biting his fingernails to the quick for the extra couple calories. He saw it on Survivor once: a fingernail is two calories. “Sure thing,” he says, and the girl squeals.

Seven-year-olds shouldn’t be so excited about getting a meal that’s barely enough to keep them alive.

She tears open the bag: apples. They are apples. There are six of them inside, and Peter’s never loved anything more.

Saliva pools in his mouth; one-handed, Cassie’s already sinking her teeth into a reddish gala with a crunch, making little joyful sounds as she does.

They separate the apples between them: two for Cassie, four for Peter, and they eat them whole—all the way to the core, seeds and stems and all. “Daddy says apple seeds are poisonous,” she says, sucking on one like a mint. “But you have to eat, like, a hundred apples.”

“Your dad’s a smart guy,” says Peter.

“I want a hundred apples,” she says. “Two hundred. A thousand.”

Cassie always says stuff like this now, her sentences tainted by hunger.

“I want apple pie,” she says. “Jim makes apple pie. He always lets me eat some apples before we put it in the oven.”

Jim, her stepdad. Right. She’s always talking about her parents: Scott, the one stuck down the hall who’s slowly losing his mind; her mom, who works part-time at the retirement home; and Jim, her stepfather who’s also a police officer.

“And applesauce!” she says, with her mouth full. “With cinnamon.”

Peter can play this game: “Ooh, yes, apple jelly on toast.”

“Apple pancakes!”

“Caramel apples.”

“Apple cake.”

“Apple strudel.”

“What’s strudel?”

Peter blinks. “Uh,” he says, and he reaches automatically for his phone in his pocket. f*ck. He keeps forgetting that they took it. His hand still drifts to his pocket every time he wants to know the time or text his friends or know some random fact about apples. “I don’t remember. Some kind of pastry-bread thing, I think.”

“Like toast?”

“Toast isn’t a pastry, Cass.”

“But toast is bread and you said bread is paste-ry.”

Pastry.”

She tries, “Paste-ry.”

“Pastry, Cass.”

“That’s what I said!”

They eat the rest of the apples quickly.

Today’s the day, then. They have to escape today. With the apples, they’ll have enough calories to sustain the run, any fighting they have to do, and the way out. Sure, Peter’s leg is completely f*cked, but if they don’t go now, then they never will. His body is adapting to the sedative, He has to get out of here before Charlie comes after his knee again. It’s healed halfway, but shattered—he can feel the shards of bone beneath the skin, trapped in limbo between muscles and fat.

Which, by the way, he’s losing by the second. He’s already lost probably five pounds, and he’s been here barely two weeks, his mind on a constant overdrive for food. He’s still thinking about that imaginary apple pie. “Cassie,” whispers Peter as they eat. “you remember the plan?”

Crunching on a french fry from her Happy Meal, she nods furiously.

“Good. Let’s go over it again.”

There’s a code on the door. Peter knows because he hears the beeping every time they move in and out of the cell. It’s a series of numbers, eight of them, probably a zero to nine code. Numbers. Peter’s smart—he’s in multivariable calculus. So how difficult could it be to figure out a door code? He’s listened so many times that he knows the pitches by heart, like a song. There’s always eight differently pitched numbers followed by a long affirmative beeeep. An eight letter combination with eight numbers. If the same pitch equals the same number and higher pitch equals higher number….

He listens to those eight beeps over and over and over again. They don’t have any pen or paper, so he dips his fingers in sink-water and writes on the concrete wall like he used to do at the public pool—drawing pictures in the sun-dried concrete with water and pretending he was a painter until the sun evaporated his works.

Cassie will draw as he does it. They’ll play Guess-The-Thing, a game Cassie came up with, to pass the time: someone draws a picture of an object and someone else guesses. Peter knows there’s a real title for the game, but he honestly can’t remember it.

There’s only a few possible number codes that Peter comes up with: one, if the highest pitch equals the highest number; two, if the highest pitch equals the lower number; and three, if the highest pitch equals proximity to the keypad’s motherboard.

Three possible options.

He memorizes each code, and then he memorizes it again. Cassie tests him on it, too, just to make sure he won’t forget.

This escape plan should give him enough time to insert all three codes. One of them has to be right.

Peter hates seven o’clock. Even without a clock in his cell, he can tell that the time is coming like it’s a blade at his throat. He can feel it in his gut—it’s only been eight days of this sh*t, and he can feel it coming as though he’s already cuffed to that cold vibranium chair. “Cassie?” he whispers, once they’re only minutes away.

She looks at him, her little brows forming a determined glare—God, she’s such a good kid. “I’m ready,” she whispers back.

“Get the cord,” he says. She crawls over to the Treasure Chest, that bucket in the corner, and pulls it out—a cotton cord made from braided strips of their bedsheets. Cassie gives it to him, and he ties the cord around his waist so it won’t fall.

Then Cassie loops his arms around his neck and her legs around his ribcage, clinging to him like a monkey; painstakingly, he crawls up the wall and to the ceiling above the door. He sticks his hands firmly to the ceiling and his legs as well, although his left one hurts so badly that his vision goes blurry for a moment.

He can do this.

He can do this.

He’s Spider-Man. He’s Spider-Man. He can do this.

She lays on his chest, clinging tightly to him; Cassie’s not a fan of heights. Just a few minutes more. They stick to the ceiling, quiet and hidden, the only evidence of their hiding spot a slight shadow on the floor. When one of the addicts finally staggers in, shouting, “Come on, Parker! Time for our favorite show!”

Operation Black Widow is a go.

The man enters, scanning the room for the two kids. “What the hell?” he mutters to himself. He checks in the corners and then stares pointedly to the bed. “Ah. Playing this game, are we, Parker?” It’s Mason, the one with the hammer.

Mason kneels by the bed and thrusts his arm beneath it, waving it around to try to get ahold of a kid who wasn’t there.

While the guy’s distracted, Peter silently lowers Cassie to the ground and then crawls above him on the ceiling, unraveling the cord from his waist and extending from the ceiling by his good leg, throwing the cord down and—yes!—looping it around the man’s neck with one flick of his sore wrist.

Before his captor even realizes what’s happening, Peter has twined the cord around his neck and he pulls, wrenching it up with enough force that he pulls Mason off the ground, toes grazing the floor, gargling and scrabbling at his throat, scraping his nails over Peter’s knuckles in an attempt to pry him off—but the plan is working.

Just like they practiced, Cassie grabs the gun from the man’s belt before he can reach for it, running to the wall, far enough from the wall that she’s safe from any of Mason’s flailing.

The man chokes quietly, the only noise in the room Peter’s heavy breathing and the man’s strangled coughs.

It only takes a minute or two before he passes out, arms and legs going lax; Peter lowers him with a pained groan, loosing the cord gradually to the floor so as to make no noise. Mason’s out cold.

Just like they practiced. Just like they practiced.

The door’s open—they’ve gotta go now. Cassie hands him the gun and grabs the man’s phone from his pocket, dialing 911 as Peter scoops her up, limping quickly through the cell door.

They’re out. They’re out.

It’s working! God, Peter’s gonna give Mr. Stark so much grief about this when he gets out. He’ll make Mr. Stark stock the pantry with pizza rolls and mini powdered donuts and all that sh*t he loves. Netted bags of oranges—god, he misses oranges—and bowls of miso soup. Scrambled eggs with cheddar cheese.

The door is at the end of the hallway—only a couple hundred feet away—and Peter runs. But his leg, his f*cked up knee, shattered joint… On the fourth step, the pain in his leg is so much that he gags, tripping over himself and falling—no, God, no!—so they both sprawl over the concrete floor, Cassie groaning in pain.

On Mason’s phone, the emergency operator is saying: Hello? Hello?

The noise alerts some of the addicts down the hallway, and a female voice says: “They’re getting away!

No, no, no, they’re so close. He has to get out—he has to find May, he has to tell Mr. Stark that everything’s okay. He has to—

“Cassie,” Peter groans, pushing himself off the ground with weak, shaking forearms, “the phone!”

She picks it back up as Peter climbs back to his feet, dragging his leg forward with his hands, each pull wrenching a scream from deep in him. By the time he reaches the door, Cassie’s crying into the phone, her words barely intelligible. “And we need… We need help…”

All the while, a crowd of their captors rush towards them; “I’ll shoot!” screams Peter, near-hysterical as he tries to remember the number combination through a haze of sedation and pain. “I’ll shoot, I will!”

He punches in the numbers with one hand (What was it? One-four-eight-nine something?) and with the other hand points the gun above Cassie’s head and towards the crowd of drug addicts. “Don’t come any closer!”

Cassie’s crying, the addicts are shouting, and the pain in his knee is making his whole body tremble. “Get behind me, Cass.”

Bvvvp. A negative beep from the keypad. His combination was wrong. f*ck, f*ck— He tries another one, glancing back between the oncoming addicts and the numbers, frantically pointing the gun from one person to another, and he hits the wrong key—

“Put the gun down, Parker!”

He doesn’t have the combination. The pitch of each number is all wrong; it’s the same with every combination.

“Somebody get him!”

The changes in pitch are the same with every combination. That means all of his calculating, all of his guessing and his listening and his writing on the wall—it was all for nothing.

He’s so f*cking stupid.

“I’m not getting shot by a kid—”

He’s got nothing. No combination ideas, no numbers, no calculations. The number to set them free could be one out of a hundred million possible permutations. He’s only guessed, too.

“She’s got a phone!”

They’re f*cked. Peter shoves Cassie behind him, flattening them both against the door, and starts pressing random buttons in a desperate hope for a correct code. She’s still talking on the phone; the operator’s saying, “Honey, slow down. Just tell me where you are…” to which Cassie sobs that she doesn’t know.

Peter doesn’t even know what state they’re in. What country they’re in. Nothing. He hopes it’s the US still, because that’s easier to find help, but he’s not completely sure. The star on the door is the Winter Soldier’s, so they could be in Russia—but all their captors seem American. An American base in Russia, maybe? He has no clue.

Peter waves his gun at the hallway. “Parker,” says one, dark-haired guy. “There’s only eight bullets in there. Even if you had the aim of a sniper—you’re not getting out of this one, man.”

“Get back!” he shouts, and he waves the gun again. “All of you, get back! I’m not going back in there!”

Beside him, he can hear the 911 operator: “We’re having trouble tracking your location, so just stay where you are—”

They’re not going anywhere. They’re not going anywhere.

They’re trapped.

They’re never getting out of here.

There’s a sob in Peter’s chest, and he raises the gun. If they’re not getting out now, then he’s at least gonna take some of these guys down with him. He aims at the red-haired woman and pulls the trigger

The gun just clicks.

He stares at it, horrified. He pulls the trigger again and again, that disappointing clicking sound his only outcome, and the rest of the addicts take that as their cue to rush him, all of them coming forth in a wave of dirty hands and bloody weapons.

A freezing wave of panic—Peter thrusts the gun forward and pulls the trigger at the oncoming crowd—click, click, click.

Peter’s never shot a gun before.

Peter’s never shot a gun before.

“I’m not going back in there!” he yells, his voice so high and frightened that he can’t recognize as it leaves his mouth. He shoved Cassie behind him, blocking her with his bad leg. “You’re not putting me back in there!”

But then they’re grabbing them and pulling them apart, and the gun’s ripped from his hands, and Cassie is screaming like she’s hurting—

Peter hates this f*cking room.

It reeks like blood.Hisblood.

Two addicts have him pinned to a wall, his hands cuffed and held above his head. He bucks against them, thrashing, and one hits him in the stomach so hard he swears he feels his organs shift. “I’m sorry,” he chokes out. “Please, please, just don't hurt Cassie… I made her do it... She didn't... ”

Charlie paces in front of him, yanking anxiously on his beard. “Don't hurt her?” he says, eyes bugged. “Don't hurt her? You two betrayed me! Trying to run from our plan to save the world? You’re gonna pay, Parker. You’re gonna pay. You and Stark have to learn that there are consequences to your actions. You don't. Run away. From me.”

The addicts are adjusting the Chair, flattening out each arm and pushing the backrest into a horizontal position. It’s like a table now, flat metal with cuffs attached.

He didn’t know the Chair could do that.

“You know what my dad used to do when I f*cked up?” says Charlie, fiddling with his pants buckle. “And you’ve f*cked up, Parker. Royally.

Rattled with fear, Peter shakes, deep in his chest. For a man to turn out like Charlie, he must have endured unimaginable things. May always used to say: people aren’t born bad; someone or something makes them that way. “I don't know,” he manages.

The bearded man pulls his belt through the loops of his jeans—a quick thwip, thwip, thwip—as the tail hits each loop, and then folds it in half. “Alright, Jon—strap him in.”

It falls into place: the flattened chair, the folded belt, his dad— “Charlie,” he blurts out, trying to get the man’s attention as the two addicts holding him shove him facedown on the table. His shirt’s gone—he and Cassie tore it to pieces for bandages already. “Charlie, please—” He saw on TV once that if you appeal to your perpetrator’s humanity that they’ll be less likely to hurt you. “I'm sorry that happened to you, I really am. You didn’t deserve that.” They get one wrist cuffed in, then the other, then both of his ankles. “Parents aren’t supposed to do that.”

This only seems to make the man angrier because he bristles, “Shut your mouth, Parker!” shouts Charlie and he says. “Say one more thing about my family, Parker, and I’ll cut your goddamn tongue out!” He slaps the folded belt against the side of the chair-table.

Peter flinches but he doesn’t stop talking. “Parents are supposed to protect their kids,” he says quickly, cheek against vibranium, “not hurt them.” He sees the black girl in the corner make a face. “But that doesn’t mean you have to do it to me, right? I… I had someone hurt me, someone who’s was supposed to take care of me, so I know what it’s like—”

The whistle of leather through air—

The first hit burns like a lick of gasoline down his back. “Charlie,” he begs, as soon as he hears his arm go back again, “Charlie, please, you don’t have to—”

Another hit, and pain streams down his naked back. His knees tremble; he really has to pee. It’s just a belt, he thinks. How bad could it be? It can’t kill him. It can’t kill him.

Hit after hit after hit, and his whole back is on fire.

Peter remembers it later, when the cloud of panic has washed away from his brain, filled instead with the feverish lucidity that comes with pain: guns have safeties.

He forgot to turn off the safety.

They lay on the bed in utter silence when they finally drag him back to their cell.

Both Peter and Cassie in so much pain that they don't even speak for an hour. Her face is swelling—they hit her. “Did they hurt you?” he whispers, finally. He has to know. He has to know exactly what they did.

Whatever they did to her—it was his fault.

Cassie nods tearily. “The needle,” she croaks.

f*ck.

“Did they touch you?” he asks.

“Yes,” she says.

Oh, God. “Where?”

She’s too tired to speak, so she gestures, imitating their hands on herself. Hand around her bad wrist—that must’ve hurt—then her swollen cheek, then stomach, then her other arm, and the crook of it, where Peter can see a reddening needle mark.

Good. She's safe. She's okay.

Well, as okay as they can be.

“What happened to the sheets?” he asks, wincing as his chest moves.

“They took them away,” she explains, squeezing her eyes into wrinkled lines.

Probably because they’d used them to strangle their captor.

Cassie starts crying then, and Peter doesn’t know what to do. This kid has cried so much in the past couple weeks that he’s surprised she has anything left in her system. If Peter were Mr. Stark, and Cassie were Peter, he would just hold Peter until he stopped crying. Offer him food. A movie night. Another hug.

So he does what Mr. Stark would do.

Peter holds Cassie until her crying stops, until it’s just the occasional hiccup. He holds her and rubs her back, letting her sob and sniffle into his shoulder. Goddamn it, Mr. Stark, he thinks. Please. Find us. Help us. They’re hurting a kid.

She’s so f*cking quiet. Even when she cries, she’s quiet. Compared to the talkative little girl that he first met, she’s a mouse. Cassie says after an entire lifetime of silence, “I wish they used the needle on you.”

She’s missing a couple words: instead of me. Peter knows what she means, but it still hurts. “We just gotta keep trying,” he says, tired.

She presses her tear-wet cheek into his shoulder. “I don't want to,” she whimpers.

Peter’s done the math. Even if they escaped once a day, every day, able to attempt five codes with every escape for the foreseeable future—it would take them over fifty thousand years to get through every possible permutation.

They’re never getting out.

Notes:

looks like quarantine's got me writing more :) thanks so much to addie for editing, ur the best &<3, everybody should def look forward to more of this, stay clean everyone, be safe! it'll pass :)

Chapter 4: another lesson yet to learn

Summary:

Now she’s crying, but they’ve gotten so used to crying around each other that Peter knows what to do. “C’mere—careful,” he says, and he moves his arm so that she can lie down and curl up in his skinny arms. Once she’s comfortable, he wraps his arm around her and holds her close. “It’ll be...okay,” he tells Cassie, and the little girl cries more, burying her face in his bloodied shirt.

Notes:

chap title from 'no time to die' by billie eilish

CW: fainting, homicidal ideation, injury, blood, violence, stitches, referenced intimate partner violence, mentions of suicide.

Chapter Text

ONE

MONTH

LATER

WEDNESDAY, MAY 9 — 1:04 PM

“Give me the update.”

“Yeah, uh… That sh*t’s broken.”

“Broken? He just sent you the new one.”

“Yeah… The prototype he sent us last week—didn’t work, man. We tried it on like...deer and sh*t, but it’s just like a blast with some blue light. Nothing like what you told me. Just injures ‘em kinda bad.”

“But he’s got everything he needs , right? You’ve been giving him the supplies?”

“Well, yeah—”

“Then what’s the problem?” A frustrated sigh. “You’ve had him under lock and key for a f*cking month , Keene. And you’re telling me he couldn’t make one little weapon in all this time when he does it for a living?”

“I mean—I’m doin’ my best—he’s motivated, that’s for f*cking sure. Sends a new gun every week. This one was better than the last one—”

“—and no better than any weapon the army possesses. You’re not getting supplied for nothing, Keene. I don’t have time for you to sit around getting high while people start poking around in Stark’s life. Pick up the pace or I’ll cut you off!”

“No—no—we’re making real progress, good progress, you got nothing to worry about, sir—yeah? Keep giving us our sh*t, and we’ll keep doing what you want. We—uh—we just sent someone over to him to pick up the next prototype today. We’re gonna test that one as soon as it gets here.”

“Fine—that’s fine. I’ll call again later. Don’t let me down.”

“Yes, sir.”

WEDNESDAY, MAY 9 — 2:07 PM

Everything is blurry, the world slurred before his eyes. His mouth tastes like syrupy sleep and he can’t find the strength to sit up. He’s in the lab, he knows, because the floor is cold and smooth and gray. How long has he been here? A migraine builds behind his eyes, and he presses a palm to his left temple, trying to ease it. It comes back in pieces—Peter’s tired, bloody face, a high-pitched screeching, a little girl’s crying. A hammer. A knife. A wire.

The guilt floods in. “Peter,” he chokes out, and the room comes into focus. Weapons parts litter the floor, glimmering in the hazy, fluorescent light. A half-made gun— f*ck, he remembers now, through the aching, pulsing in his head. He was building it for him. For Charlie. So that he could get Peter back home safe and sound. The guilt inside of him grows more, swelling into a rancid pit. There are blueprints covered in crossed-out ideas and hastily written formulas scattered over his desk, and DUM-E whirs nervously in the corner, organizing and reorganizing a set of tools.

He’s on his side, sprawled about between a few attempted power sources and a stack of scratch paper. Propping himself up with weakened arms, he sits up.

He’s alone.

Tony’s never felt so alone. He must’ve passed out at some point, but he can’t remember when. Is that normal? He doesn’t sleep, not now, not with Peter on the line, not unless his body collapses and his mind gives out. He’s never worked this hard before. Even when he was trapped in that cave in Afghanistan when he resigned himself to build or die. This is different–this is his kid , and that brings out a whole other universe of pain, a thousand times worse than being waterboarded. Seeing Peter in pain is a kind of all-consuming, world-ending suffering that keeps him up all day and night, just working.

Tony’s made three prototypes in the month he’s been given. He struggles to his feet, grabbing the lab table beside him for support; before he can stand, his weakened legs buckle beneath him. With a cry, he falls down again, but a robotic arm catches him. It’s U, his other hydraulic arm, and it whirs worriedly at him. “Thanks, buddy,” he croaks. His head is spinning. “Take me...over there.” He gestures vaguely to the couch nearest to him. U takes his arm gently, as though it knows just how fragile he is, and rolls slowly where directed. Tony leans on the robot and tries to catch his breath. He’s not hungry, just nauseous, but he knows he needs to eat something. God knows how long he was passed out like that. Hours? Days? What if he missed a chance to see Peter again?

U settles Tony in the middle of the couch, where he collapses with a gasp. Sometimes, he forgets how old he is—right now, he feels every bit of forty-eight years old, or maybe twenty years older. “Thanks. You always...got my back. Think you could hand me the prototype? And...some water?” U picks up a half-empty glass of water and rolls over to him, whirring excitedly at his findings, and then moves on to find the weapon. Where did he put it? Spotting it on the floor, a few screws loose, he knows he must’ve dropped it when he passed out. It turns around, looking for the weapon. “Look down, buddy. Be careful.” Amused, Tony watches as U stares confusedly at the fallen object. “I know… It’s been a while since I’ve made stuff like that, hm? Well… Not my idea.” His robots—one of which is clearly confused by the situation and keeps reorganizing the entire workshop—are his only form of social interaction in this hell outside of Charlie’s phone calls, and he’s so, so grateful for it. “I don’t know what I’d do without you idiots,” he says, gulping down the water U gave him. “You keep me…” He finds himself thinking of Pepper again. “...sane.” The way her hair smells, the way she’d wrinkle her nose every time he opened a bag of Doritos. That’s disgusting, she’d comment. Take it somewhere else or I swear I’m kicking you out of the house.

They’re Doritos! he’d protest.

She’d move across the room, laughing, mock-coughing, and covering her nose. They’re awful—oh my god, I can smell them from here! When did you even have time to get those?

Well, he’d start, crunching on another chip, there are these wonderful contraptions called vending machines in the main building—

Ugh! Take them out of here, Tony—or I’ll empty every vending machine I see, I swear to God!

Fine, fine! He’d wrap up the bag. I’ll save it for later. For now… He’d come at her for a kiss, and she’d squeal, running away.

No! Ohmygod—those damn Doritos—hey! No! Not until you brush your teeth— She’d fake gag. I’m gonna sue the CEO of Doritos if you don’t— They’d chase each other around the kitchen, laughing and screaming and running until Happy came in asking what was wrong.

He shakes his throbbing head, ridding himself of the intrusive memory. She could never forgive for how he hurt her; she’s not coming to save him. “No…” he croaks, remembering what he did to her. He can’t stop thinking about it—the look of raw betrayal on her face, the tingling in his right palm, tears welling up that she blinked away. It replays in his head, over and over. “How could I hurt you, honey, how could I…” His face is wet again, tears slipping down his face, as poisonous guilt seeps into him. “I had to—” he chokes out, and then he’s sobbing. He’s still exhausted, so the tears come easy, spilling as a tidal wave of shame hits him, and he crumples, pressing his hands over his face in the hopes that it’ll all go away. He wishes he could f*cking erase it all—start over from when he first met Peter, from when he first told Pepper he loved her, from when he first realized he’d made a family for himself. “God—I’m so f*cking sorry!” His throat is thick with sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry , and his breath hitches each time he tries to calm down. He f*cking hates himself for what he’s done. Because of him, Peter’s in pain, and Pepper thinks he hates her. He claws at his hair and his neck, and that horrific feeling of shame congeals over his skin, making him want to scream.

This whole month has been like a nightmare he can’t shake. Every time he passes out, he wakes up thinking it’s over and is forced back into the realization that he’s in hell. Day after day after day of watching his kid tortured, of so little sleep that he sees double sometimes, that he hears voices pinging off the walls…

The doorbell is ringing, beeping incessantly, and icy fear kicks him in the gut. How long has that been going on? How did he miss it? He pulls himself up, but it’s difficult; his body is stiffened from his stint of unconsciousness, so he calls U over, and the one-armed robot helps him to the door. It’s Sunday, he remembers, and that means they’ve sent that black girl to the lab to give him his supplies and collect his latest prototype. His latest model, one using a different firing mechanism, is nowhere near ready. (Honestly, he doesn’t know if he’ll ever be able to make a weapon that satisfies Charlie’s needs, but he can’t think about that.)

It takes him a couple tries to open the door. His shaky fingers won’t let him push in the passcode. Finally, he manages, and the metal sheet blocking her entry slides out of her way, and the girl waves from the other end. She’s wearing a blue T-shirt and jean shorts, and when she picks up the cardboard box at her feet, she struggles. It must be heavy. Her kinky hair is tied low into twin buns, and she nudges the door open with her foot.

Peter has those shoes, too.

Converse—pink ones. Really? Tony said when he saw the kid wearing them for the first time. Pink?

It’s 2018, Mr. Stark, Peter laughed. He was sitting on one of Tony’s lab tables next to a soldering kit, kicking his legs out and adjusting his goggles with one gloved hand and reaching into a bag of Tostitos with the other. Everyone’s gotta have something pink. Otherwise, you’re, like, supporting the patriarchy. He stretched his legs out so they were closer to Tony, and the kid grinned. I love them.

Tony rolled his eyes. I wasn’t complaining about the color choice, buddy. You don’t have to hound me about deconstructing masculinity, Peter—I own fourteen silk shirts in varying shades of pink and a suit in fuchsia. Sometimes, you just gotta shake things up.

That’s what I think! cried Peter through a mouthful of chips.

No talking with your mouth full—jeez, whoever taught you about toxic masculinity forgot to teach you about table manners, good lord, you’re gonna choke—

Peter just grabbed another handful.

He stares at her shoes, and she ducks his gaze, watching the floor intently. “Um…” she starts, just to fill the silence. “Can I…” Just seeing her sickens him, and he flinches when she comes closer, carrying a cardboard box. “I, uh… I brought you more food. Sorry nothing’s fresh, Charlie doesn’t want us going to grocery stores, you know, too conspicuous or whatever, only McDonald’s drive-thrus, so we just, uh… Nevermind. I’ve got fruit this time, though.” She strains to carry the box, shifting it around in her arms. “I’ve gotta, uh…” She gestures with the hand that’s trapped under the box.

It’s clear now that she’s trying to get past him, and Tony shuffles back against the wall, watching the whole way, to let her carry it through the hallway and drop it with a clunk onto the nearest table. Every movement she makes is like a stab to the heart; he hates her with a blaze that he can’t quite explain. The girl visits him once a week, every Sunday, mostly in the night or early morning. “Peaches, pineapple, mixed veggies… Oh, yeah, plus more beans.” She sifts through the box, cans clanking as she does. “Enough for the week, I think, but I’m no nutrition expert, you know? I tried to get enough protein, Renee says you need sixty grams of protein a day, and I got real confused, but at least they put it on the label, or I’d be screwed. I did my best, but Charlie said it didn’t matter too much, as long as I got you enough calories to last…” Her voice trails off as she looks up at him again, and as their eyes meet, something in her face changes. He hopes his eyes cut into her; he hopes she knows how much damage she’s done through his glare alone. “Um.” She averts his gaze once, and then her eyes flit right back, staring openly at his face. It must be obvious that he’s been crying, and that he’s a f*cking mess, but Tony doesn’t give a f*ck. “Are you okay?”

His nostrils flare. Like a pot of boiling oil dumped over his head, that ripping, tearing anger that’s been inside of him all this time breaks through, and all of a sudden he can’t even breathe. “O-okay?” he garbles, and the word is so twisted in his mouth that he can feel it drip acid onto his tongue. “Y-you’re asking—you—m-me i-if–” He hasn’t talked to anyone face-to-face in weeks (his only social interaction being the girl, who he avoids talking to at all costs), and it shows, because somehow all the words are coming out wrong.

“Um,” says the girl again. “Sorry. I’ll just keep, um, doing, the…” But she doesn’t move, unable to break their locked eye contact, and Tony’s rage builds. How can she stand her, looking so normal and innocent, when she and her friends do all that sh*t to his kid?

He wants to tear this girl to f*cking shreds—she’s the one who did this, the one who tortured Peter and made his kid scream for him, put him in so much pain that he sobbed even when no one was touching him at all. Without thinking, Tony lunges at her with both hands outstretched, staggering forward with his aching body, blood-tinged fury edging his vision. “Y-y-you did this!” he shouts, and although his voice sounds more like a raspy screech, he means every bit of it.

Startled, the girl ducks his grasp, slipping over stray papers and running to the other side of the lab. “I didn’t do anything!” she yells back.

He barely has any control over his body; he throws himself, all quivering muscles and soured rage, in the direction of that sad*stic girl. “Y- you —”

“I’m not like them!” When he comes closer, she bolts again. She’s too fast for him, especially in this state, and he keeps tripping over his own feet and falling into walls. “Stop—stop! I didn’t do it, I promise, I didn’t—”

“Y-you—how could—you—you—”

“It’s not me, I didn’t hurt him, I’ve never—ah!” She trips over Tony’s prototype and ends up sprawled on the ground, and before Tony can stop himself, he falls, too, his legs stumbling over empty air, and falls only a few feet from her. She can get up again, Tony’s on his way to her, moving frantically, half-crawling and about to grab her, when the f*cking phone rings.

Tony stops in his tracks, hand only a foot from the girl’s arm; a chill spirals down his back. She freezes, too, and then scrambles away from him. It keeps ringing, the nauseating sound pulsating through the room, and Tony can feel the blood drain out of his face and gather in his chest, weighing him down. No . The girl doesn’t look victorious or smug, even; in fact, she looks just as scared as he feels. She looks young then, in her wide, scared eyes and her shaking limbs.

She looks like Peter.

The girl glances in the direction of the phone, swallows, and then looks at him. He doesn’t want to look at the TV or the phone; he shakes his head a little, blinking, and when he gets up, the dizzying world tilts on its axis, and he crashes straight into the nearest table, stomach tightening with dread. The only thing that kept him running was his anger, and now that that’s died in anticipation of another phone call, all he feels is weak. His limbs quiver helplessly, and now he’s floored on his side like he was when he woke up today, crushed by the unspeakable weight of his thoughts. Tony f*cked up...badly. What would Charlie do to Peter now that he’d tried to attack the girl? What was he thinking? What, was he going to attack a girl probably the same age as Peter?

His legs shake; battered shame flushes through him, forming aching stones in his throat and stomach. Now he has to answer for what he’s done, and Peter will pay the price.

He struggles to get back up, and when he does, he has to grip the lab table for support. Tony forces himself to look to the phone, finding not only that the ringing has stopped, but that the girl has picked up the phone and is holding it to her ear. She stares at Tony, and planets cease to orbit in her irises. “Hey,” she says into the receiver, all the while watching Tony with this helpless, conflicted gaze, “it’s me.”

Garbled, angry shouts grate on the other end.

“No, he wasn’t. He—no—I’m fine, I promise. He wasn’t trying to hurt—”

More shouting.

“No—no, don’t do that! You can see him, too, can’t you? He’s on the ground, he’s not, like, a danger to anybody. He’s just sick.” What is she doing? Sweat trickles down his neck and from his armpits as his dread of the situation builds. “No, no, he didn’t. He was just confused. Like, uh, feverish.” She frowns, eyeing the prototype on the floor a few feet from her worn pink Converse. “No! No. Seriously. I think I should stay with him.” Stay with… “He can wait in the car—seriously, I can help him finish the prototype and everything. He’s in no shape to do it by himself.”

Frustrated talking.

“Yeah. No. You can watch the whole time. I’m just trying to help the process, just—” Her eyes meet Tony’s. “I know. Yeah. I will. Yeah.” The corners of her mouth settle into a firm line. “Ok. Got it. Thanks.” Her shoulders fall. “Love you, too. Yeah, I got it. Bye.”

Then she puts the phone back into its cradle like she’s placing a baby in its carrier.

Instinctually, Tony glances at the TV screen; it’s black, thank God. “Wh-what was that?” Tony manages.

The girl’s gnawing on her lip. “I got you till five.”

“To what?”

“Finish the job.”

WEDNESDAY, MAY 9 — 3:28 AM — DAY 33

Behind his eyes, the world bleeds, white to red to black and back again. Pain bubbles over his skin and drenches him, seeping into his bones like a cold bath. One piece at a time, his senses return to him. He’s laying on his side with his hands folded over his stomach; when he twitches his fingers, blood slides between them. His head swims with pain; maybe Charlie used his hammer again. He strains, but he can’t move without searing pain spiking through his stomach. His memories of the past couple of days are so...blurry. A hammer. A knife. A wire.

Someone is whimpering in the corner, and he remembers—Cassie. His lips feel numb, but he mumbles, “Cassie?”

Across their shared cell, a little girl curled in a ball stops her crying and sniffles. “Peter?” She can’t crawl, not with her bad hand, but she half-scoots over to him on one hand and two knees until she’s only a foot away from him. Tears glisten in her eyes, shining in the fluorescent light flickering above them. “You wouldn’t wake up,” she whimpers. “I thought—I thought—”

“I’m okay,” he groans. His back hurts, too. Stripes of pain all the way down. “Don’t...worry.”

“You were bleeding so much, Peter!”

“I know, kiddo. You’ve seen me bleed...before, though, right? I was...fine then, I’ll be...fine...now.” Every word gets more difficult to say, every breath shallower than the last. There’s so much pain piled in his gut that it’s even hard for him to concentrate. “What…” Through the weeks they’ve been here, Cassie and Peter have had to make something of a life for themselves, and part of that means picking up their broken pieces after Charlie and their other captors have had them. Sometimes, that means Cassie relaying the past day to Peter after a particularly hard session with Charlie; sometimes, it means he sings her songs and tells her stories so that she’ll forget that she might not ever see her family again.

He looks down at his stomach, where something went in, probably a knife, down near his right hip. He’s lucky they didn’t hurt Cass that time, but honestly, he can’t remember. It’s all so… slippery in his mind. “They didn’t,” he starts, and when he moves, his muscles scream, so he slumps back to the floor. “...touch you, did they?”

She shakes her head. Her knees stay curled up to her chest, and she sniffs again, upset. “No. Just you.”

He relaxes a little. If there’s nothing he can do here to help Mr. Stark or anyone else, at least he can protect Cassie. She’s only seven, and she doesn’t deserve this. No one does. The top of his jumpsuit is unbuttoned, open wide, and at his stomach is a mass of something; as she moves it to get a better view of his injury, he finds a ratty strips of cloth bundled up against the source of the bleeding. “Can you tell...me what happened?”

Cass looks like she’s gonna start crying again, but she’s become somewhat hardened over the past weeks. “Yeah… Charlie...got you. When you came back, you were bleeding. A lot. I had t’put my stuff on it. And your head was bad, too. Did Charlie use the—the—” She doesn’t have to say it.

“Yeah, Cass. It doesn’t feel” —he winces, nauseous— “too good.”

She scoots closer to where he lies and touches his head gently. They’ve done this many times before; Peter turned it into a game so it’d be easier to remember. It’s called Poke , he said, and when she asked how to play, he explained, If you can see red on my head, then that means there’s something wrong.

But there’s red all ove—

I know, I know… That’s why we’re gonna play, okay?

O-o-okay.

You’re gonna, he continued, take your finger, and gently, gently, you’re gonna poke at my head. Her eyes went wide. And I’m gonna say numbers, from one to ten, and once we get to the highest number I’ll tell you to stop.

Why? she asked, still shaky from seeing the blood on Peter’s head.

Peter grimaced. Because we’ve gotta figure out where it hurts the most so we can fix it.

Now, Cassie pokes and prods, and Peter tells her how much it hurts. “Two. Three. Four—ah! Seven, seven, okay, that’s it…”

She knows what to do; she gets water from the sink and rinses out the most painful spot on his head before pressing a bandage to it. “Sorry I didn’t do it before, Peter… You were sleeping.”

“It’s okay... “ he tells her. “You did good… Promise. Really good. Just keep...pressing on it.”

“There’s more blood this time. And more on your tummy, too.” It’s so strange, the way she says it:this timeandtummyand Charliegot you. It makes their horror show of a life sound more like a game than a nightmare.

Peter winces. “I know…” He can’t remember what he did to earn this kind of punishment. His head and limbs are tingly from loss of blood, and when he looks at the wound, removing Cassie’s balled-up bandages, it’s a severe gash. He’s no doctor, but he’s seen enough Supernatural to know what counts as deadly, and this one’s awfully close. Charlie tends to save his more extreme methods for days when either Peter or Mr. Stark has done something to warrant it. So what happened? “Can you go over...to the Treasure Chest...Cass?”

She nods, crawling back over to their Treasure Chest. Cassie insisted they call it that, even though, as a dented metal bucket bolted into the floor, it looked nothing like a treasure chest. However, it does contain every good thing they currently possess, mostly the little things slipped in with their food by those who took pity on them. Gauze. Candy. Advil. Bandages. Needle and thread. Stickers. Children’s Tylenol. Disinfectant. Mostly, it comes from the one who gives them their food every day: Ava.

She’s the only person in this place who doesn’t treat them like absolute sh*t. She’s an addict like the rest, that’s for sure, but she always slips little gifts in with their food. Toothpaste. Soap. Medicine. Snacks. He doesn’t know where she gets all of it, but it’s clear that she’s a little like them. There’s this pain that patters behind her eyes, but it’s the pain of a victim, not an aggressor. Her steps are hesitant, not angry like Charlie’s. They always know when she’s coming. Ava gives them the blessing of cavity-free teeth, lessened pain, and full stomachs on those wonderful, random days.

They keep all of their special treats in what Cassie named their ‘treasure chest.’ In it, they put the toys from their Happy Meals, the medicine, the reused bandages, and all of the other gifts they’ve been given. They only open it when they absolutely need to, because their supplies are worryingly limited. “What should I get?” the little girl asks.

“The blue bottle” —he automatically moves to point, but sorely regrets it as pain rocks his entire torso, hissing sharply— “and the needle...stuff. See it?”

There’s not much to rifle through in the Treasure Chest, so, as Peter expects, she says, “Um, yeah.”

“...good.”

The past month in this place has been like hell. They tend to stay away from Cassie, which is good, but the people who are holding them captive don’t care very much how they’re keeping two kids alive. They eat McDonald’s three times a day unless Ava gives them something else, and it’s not enough for Peter’s fast metabolism (something he’s yelled through the food slot when the hunger pangs sift through his head and squeeze into his belly in mad desperation), but he has to deal with it. Three Happy Meals a day. That’s it. That’s all they get. Each one comes with a toy, which is one of their few blessings in this place, so inside their Treasure Chest is quite a collection of different toys from their first month here—toys with National Geographic Kids imprinted on the bottom, mostly, tigers and frogs and stingrays. He was never one of those animal-obsessed kids—he’d always say his favorite animal was a dog, but Cassie knows them all by heart. That’s a bottlenose dolphin, she told him, holding out the plush toy to him with a smile.

Yeah? he asked, because Cassie doesn’t smile a lot these days, what do they do?

Cassie’s smile grew even bigger. They’re like porpoises! But they’re… She can talk about animals for hours on end (sometimes, she does), and Peter never grows tired of it. It’s hard to keep his hopes up these days, especially with the extensive damage to his body and their failed escape attempts.

However, as they moved into May, their Happy meals stopped coming with animals and instead came with miniature games wrapped in plastic. Hungry, Hungry Hippos and Connect 4 and other things. Cassie was hesitant at first, but she quickly realized it meant they could play games that she didn’t have to picture entirely inside of her mind. She loved Hungry, Hungry Hippos, even though only one of her hands was able to play it. Yesterday, they even got a game of Trouble with their burgers. Or was that last week?

It’s so hard to remember things now.

He worries, sometimes, that he’s forgetting what they look like—Mr. Stark, Aunt May, Ned, MJ… Even Flash. He can’t bring Flash’s face into his mind, and that scares him to his core. This is their thirty-third day inside of this room, and it’s hard to believe that they’ll get out anytime soon. They found a loose nail under the bed—with it, they keep track of the days, to the best of their ability, by making shallow scratches in the leftmost wall, by the sink. Their scratches are horizontal, in groupings of ten. Why don’t we make it up and down? Cassie asked him once he started making the tic marks in the wall. When I do them, they always go up and down.

Peter didn’t know how to explain it to her. The entirety of the back wall, the one behind their bed, is covered in tic marks. Some of them are grouped together, yet some aren’t, almost like there have been different people inside of this room before. He didn’t know how to say if they stayed here for a long time (if they were never rescued), then he didn’t want their tic marks to get mixed up with the ones of prisoners from the past.

How is he supposed to explain that to a seven-year-old girl?

Cassie’s coming over to his side now, holding the bottle of disinfectant and the needle and thread. His hands are shaking; he holds them out to her, thanking her weakly as he takes the items from her. “It’s bad?” she says, quieter.

She knows it’s bad because Peter tries never to use their stash of supplies.

He blinks in defeat. “...yeah. It’s bad.”

Although he’s done it a few times since they arrived, suturing his wounds closed (like some kind of teen-movie Frankenstein) doesn’t get any less scary. Especially now, with his swimming vision and shaking hands, but the practice does make the act itself easier. He’s no seamstress, nothing like May with all her revamped, thrifted clothes; why is it suddenly funny to him that the only thing he’s ever sewed is his own skin?

He has her talk to him as he does it—otherwise, he gets lost in the pain and the blood and can’t pull himself out. “Why did he…get me so...bad this time?”

Cass looks wounded as she answers, tucking her greasy, dark hair behind her ears. “You don’t remember it?”

“No, Cass…”

“We… You…” Miserable, she stabs at the floor with her fingers. “We tried to get out again.”

He blinks. “Wha—I…” He closes his eyes for a second, pausing in his process, as he tries to remember.

“Escape Plan,” Cassie reminds him, with a capital P. “Remember?”

“No… You wanna tell me...what we did?”

She blinks at him, frowning, and lets out this small, tired sigh. “It doesn’t matter. We didn’t do it.”

“How...far?”

“We got all the way to the hallway...” She pokes at the floor again. “And then I could hear Daddy so I went to him, but... he was the other way and you told me not to—”

f*ck. He remembers, all right. “Oh,” he says now, like someone just punched him in the stomach. It’s half there in his mind—blurry and drenched in a drug-tainted haze, but it’s there. He remembers screaming Cassie—no! as she slipped from his grasp and ran for her dad, and how he stared at the doorway and thought— I could leave without her —and was body-slammed by one of the other guards before his idea could fester into reality. “Oh…” How could he think that—to leave this little girl to fend for herself just so he could escape? It’d be the same as killing her. If he was gone, their leverage over Mr. Stark would be gone, and they wouldn’t need the rest of their hostages. They’d kill them all, most likely. How could he think something so horrible ?

After he ties off the thread and slumps on the floor with a pained sigh, he beckons Cassie closer. “I’m sorry we...didn’t make it,” he says. “And I’m sorry...we can’t...see your dad.”

Now she’s crying, but they’ve gotten so used to crying around each other that Peter knows what to do. “C’mere—careful,” he says, and he moves his arm so that she can lie down and curl up in his skinny arms. Once she’s comfortable, he wraps his arm around her and holds her close. “It’ll be...okay,” he tells Cassie, and the little girl cries more, burying her face in his bloodied shirt.

Peter wishes now that there was someone here to tell him everything would be okay, but it’s just him and Cassie. There’s no Mr. Stark to fix everything this time.

He holds Cassie and tells it to her instead.

WEDNESDAY, MAY 9 — 4:12 AM

A clattering noise behind him startles him so much that he jumps to his feet, one hand jumping to his hip. It’s only Maggie, dressed in sweatpants and a towel robe, rubbing her eyes at a pan on the ground. “Sorry,” she says, and Jim drops his hand. “Couldn’t sleep.”

They don’t talk much anymore. Maggie works part-time at a nursing home, but she stopped working once Cassie was kidnapped. She spends most of her time in bed or near-comatose on the couch as the TV flashes in front of her. Only recently has she gotten up and been more productive, visiting the nursing home to put in her hours, going to the police station with him to inquire about their daughter. Yet still, she’s nothing like the woman she was before.

To be fair, Jim isn’t anything like the man he was, either. With Cassie gone, there’s a void in their lives that can’t be filled with booze or sleep or punching bags. Cassie is now a gaping hole in his chest that he can’t make go away, no matter how many times he calls for updates on her case.

“It’s okay,” Jim says with a shrug. He doesn’t look much better, dressed in the same T-shirt he’s been wearing for the past couple days and boxers he’s been wearing for me. The police force put him on temporary stress leave after he recovered from his head injury, so he hasn’t had anything to do but ‘harass the station to no end,’ as his coworker Julia put it. “What time…”

“Four,” Maggie answers. She looks exhausted, and her hair is pulled back in a scraggly half-bun. “I’m gonna make...breakfast. You want anything?”

She’s swaying on her feet.

Jim shakes his head. “Sit down, honey. I’ll make you whatever you need.” She doesn’t fight him on it; she just slumps into a seat at their kitchen counter and buries her head in her arms. He starts cooking, cracking eggs into a pan and adding shredded cheese, ham, and red peppers to it. This is how Maggie likes her eggs; Jim knows it by heart. He forms it into a messy omelet and slides it onto a plate. “Here. Need anything else?”

Maggie shakes her head tiredly, and Jim goes. Maggie would much rather be alone these days, anyway. He takes his mug of coffee upstairs with him. He’s supposed to be back on the force next week, but he doesn’t know what he’ll do once he is. Once he became Cassie’s father, his whole world changed. Now, he doesn’t know what he is. As a police officer, he knows the statistics. Cassie’s most likely dead, or… Every time he thinks about it he wants to drink until his face goes numb. Julia and the others swear they’re giving him every update they can, but there’s not much evidence to go off of, so there are scarcely any updates at all.

Maggie’s like a ghost, and Cassie is truly gone.

Without them, Jim is lost.

WEDNESDAY, MAY 9 — 5:59 AM

“Hand me the, uh…”

Riri passes him the screwdriver she’s holding.

Tony takes it from her and then makes a grunt of frustration when it doesn’t work. “No, the, um…” She takes the screwdriver back, replaces the screw head with the smaller one, and hands it back. “Oh...thanks.”

Tony tries to work it, but his hands are shaking so badly that Riri slides the weapon to her side of the lab table and does it herself, twisting each screw into place. “What’s wrong with your hands?” she asks. There's been light conversation between the two of them for the past few hours, usually pass me that or don’t touch that, but conversation nonetheless.

“Nothing,” the middle-aged man snaps, and he slides over to the computer. “FRIDAY—” He stops, falters, grumbles again, and staggers to the other side of the room. He doesn’t look good. Riri’s seen her fair share of broken men, and Tony Stark is one of them. He looks tired to the bone, hunched over his computer now, typing clumsily.

She clears her throat. “Do you think this one’ll work?” she asks, just to ease the tension.

“No.” He finishes tapping at the keyboard and returns to the table.

“No?” Riri doesn’t know a lot, but she does know about Tony Stark. He was her icon—that’s what makes this so strange. After Riri’s brother Eric was killed doing drug deals, she lived with a foster family that saw her love for robotics and computers and catered to it. They got her her first Iron Man poster and took her to coding classes, where she learned as much as she could before Charlie came back into her life. “What—are you, like—what do you mean?”

Tony Stark ignores her.

Riri frowns. “Mr. Stark…” He gives her such a rigid glare that her voice dies in her throat.

He keeps tinkering with it, sliding parts into place until finally he raises it. It seems mostly finished, but he says, “None of them will work the way your friend wants them to.”

“He’s not my friend,” she responds quickly. He's my...What is Charlie to her, anyway? He and her brother Eric were like brothers at some point. What does that make him, her uncle? Her mentor? Her guardian?

Tony lifts the weapon with both hands, points it at the wall, and fires with a blazing explosion of light. “So you’re not… helping them...torture my…” he rambles, his voice dry.

“No,” she interrupts. “I’m not like them.”

Tony scoffs darkly. “Sure.”

“It’s true! I’m—” The truth is, she doesn’t really know who she is. Sure, she ran away from her family to join Charlie and his friends, but it wasn’t because she wanted to hurt anyone. She just missed her brother and thought that, well, Charlie would make some of that aching pain go away. He didn’t. All he ever managed to do was dig her grave even deeper. And now he’s got her mixed up in this… “I just…”

“You just what? Help?” he snaps. “Watch as they... As they do that to him?”

“No! You’ve seen what they do—I hate it! I wanna be in school, I’d rather be anywhere else! What they’re doing to Parker—”

Peter.”

“Yeah, Peter, sorry, and Lang and that little girl—it’s horrible. I never thought they’d—they’d ever do something like that! I just wanted a family, that’s all. We weren't... This wasn't the original plan. It was never supposed to...” She shrugs a little. "It was never supposed to go on this long."

He frowns. “How old are you?” he asks.

“Fifteen,” she answers.

His eyes are like shattered glass. “Then why…” He shakily adjusts a wire with some pliers. “...are you...with them? You could...”

“They’re my family,” she says simply. It was true. Charlie and Renee and their friends had taken care of her ever since she left her foster family, providing her with food, shelter, people who cared about her well-being… Sure, most of them were drug addicts, but they were the last connection she had to her late brother. “I can’t just leave them.”

“They’re torturing my kid,” Tony Stark chokes out, and his hands are shaking more now. Riri didn’t know Peter was his son—Jesus Christ. “How can you just…”

She ducks her head; shame flickers through her. It’s something she thinks about a lot. How can she stay with them, knowing all the sh*t they do? Knowing they tortured people? Tortured kids? She’s not a bad person, but does staying with them make her one? Charlie and everyone else…are they bad people, too? “I… I don’t know. I guess… They’re the only people I have left.”

Stark stares at her for a couple more seconds, but he doesn’t say anything. They sit in silence, Riri with her palms sweating as Stark adjusts the gun. He finishes fixing the weapon on his own, screwing a metal plate in place, and finally sets it down. “I think it’s done,” he says.

“I thought you said it wouldn’t work—”

“It won’t.” He sighs. “What Charlie wants… I don’t know if I can make it for him.”

“He just wants your, you know…” She gestures over at a dead Iron Man suit that’s stationed, limp, in the corner of the room. “...arc stuff. Just like HYDRA had.”

“HYDRA had a Tesseract.”

“A what?”

“It’s had…” He scratches his graying hair. “...a lot of names. It’s advanced, alien technology—something I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to replicate.”

“But your arc—”

“—gets close to it. I keep trying to strengthen it, but I don’t know...if I can ever…” He coughs. “...get close to what Charlie wants. Disintegrating people. Making it so they...never existed.”

“He doesn’t want to disintegrate anyone,” Riri assures him. Charlie’s no killer. “He just wants...the power, you know? The bigger stick.”

Tony gives her another fiery glare and doesn’t respond to her comment. “Take it,” he says, pointing to the weapon sitting between them. “It’s done. Bring it back to him.”

For some reason, she doesn’t want to take it. “Are you gonna be okay?”

Tony Stark—the merchant of Death, Iron Man, billionaire, Avenger, the world’s greatest hero—looks at her with teary eyes and a broken face, and shakes his head.

WEDNESDAY, MAY 9 — 7:34 AM

Scott hums as he works, scrubbing over the metal chair. He doesn’t get a lot of supplies from his captors, but they give him plenty of water and soap, enough to clean up the room after each nightly session. “Can’t be messy,” he reminds himself. “Can’t be...messy…” He laughs a little, to himself.

He can almost hear Cassie’s little voice behind him, squealing, “Daddy! I made a mess, I made a mess!”

He turns his wheelchair around and spots her, there, a phantom of a girl, wearing her shark pajamas, her dark hair tied back into two braids. “What’d you do, Cassie-pie?”

She raises her hands, giving him a big smile. “Me and Jim were painting, see?” They’re covered in bright blue, and as Scott glances around the room, he sees it all; she has made quite a mess.

“I see,” he says, smiling. “We’ll have to get that cleaned up right away, before Mommy sees, right? Where’d Jim go?”

“He went to wash his hands—look, I’m all blue!”

“Yeah, you’re really blue,” Scott answers. “Lemme help you clean up, honey—c’mere.”

She giggles and climbs into the big chair. “Sorry, Daddy!”

“Don’t worry about it—we’ll wash it all out, I promise. Think you can stay still for me?” She nods, still as he washes the blue from her hands and the streaks of paint off of her face with gentle strokes. Is the soap okay for kids? He and Maggie always buy the kind that doesn’t sting if it gets in her eyes. Cassie hums carelessly. “What’re you humming, Cassie-pie?”

“Lucy,” she replies pleasantly. Yes. Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds, Cassie’s favorite song of all time. Somehow, she could remember every word of the song, even the strangest of lyrics.

“Ah,” Scott says, and he joins in, humming loudly to the lyric about cellophane flowers of yellow and green…

“Shut the hell up!”

Scott jolts at the sudden voice, glancing at the chair where Cassie was and starts humming faster and faster, hoping his little girl will come back.

A door slams open. “Who the f*ck are you talking to, anyway? The computer?”

Scott scrubs harder at the blood-splattered metal, wishing he could walk away, but he can't. Not in this wheelchair. He swallows. “She… She…”

“Answer me, dammit! Can’t we get one second of peace without you going completely f*cking crazy?”

Scott shakes his head, shakes it hard. “She’s… Hm…” He can see glimpses of her in the corner of his eyes, but he refuses to look. “Don’t touch her, y-you… can’t…” He shakes again.

The man approaching him—Jon, he recognizes, one of the younger ones—waves from beside him. “What is it, Lang, huh? What the hell is wrong with you?”

“D-don’t—”

Jon kicks at Scott’s wheelchair, sending him wheeling back into the wall, and Scott squeezes his eyes shut. “I didn’t—please, I didn’t—”

“Shut up!” he shouts. “Any more of this, and I’ll go get your kid and—”

“N-n- no!

“That’s what I thought—so keep quiet, Lang!”

He nods furiously, eyes open. Jon slams the door to the room, and Scott’s alone again.

It’s better alone, he knows, because whenever they’re here, the room is filled with screams, and the chair is stained with blood. Cassie’s blood. Peter’s blood. His blood.

He keeps scrubbing.

WEDNESDAY, MAY 9 — 8:04 AM

A book slams on the table in front of him beside his plate of untouched cafeteria food, and he jumps. “Uh—”

It’s a Stephen King novel—Misery, he reads on the worn cover—and it belongs to two brown hands in two gray sleeves of a sweater dress belonging to one Michelle Jones. “That’s it. I’m done with this. Come on—we’re getting out of here.”

“Dude,” Ned replies tiredly, “I’m still eating my lunch, the—”

“Let’s not kid ourselves, Nedward ,” she snaps, throwing his half-done homework into his backpack and lugging it over her free shoulder. “You’re not gonna touch that stuff—Jesus Christ, what do you have in here, bricks?”

“Books,” he mumbles. And although she hates how she says it, she’s right. He’s less hungry these days—he either eats until he’s stuffed himself silly or forgets to eat altogether. These days… He lives from one day to the next, shuffling to each class with his head down, unable to focus on his next task. There’s still a box full of Legos for a Quinjet that he and Peter never finished. Dude—it’s the Quinjet ! he exclaimed when they spotted it online. Haven’t you, like, ridden in it?

Peter’s eyes were as big as saucers, and he tapped on the screen of Ned’s laptop. I wish, Ned—that’s so cool! Wow, it’s got the turbine fans and everything! Man, I wish Mr. Stark would let me ride in it sometime.

Dude, dude, dude! If he lets you ride the Quinjet you gotta ask to take me, too, okay?

Peter elbowed him. Of course! I’ll never ride without you, I swear.

Ned aches at the thought of his best friend, but MJ keeps tugging at his arm. “Fine, whatever, let’s go.”

He sighs. “Lunch isn’t finished—”

“I’ve got food, don’t worry about it. Now get your butt up.”

Clearly, MJ is not planning on letting this one go, so Ned sighs, wraps up what he can of his lunch, and shoves it into his backpack. “Where are we going?” he grumbles, starting to stand up.

MJ doesn’t answer, stomping through the hallway like she’s about to flood it with stormtroopers. Ned follows, turning corner after corner until they make it to the art room, which is empty of any other students. The room is strewn with paintings and sculptures and sketches, some of which Ned immediately recognizes as MJ’s unique drawing style. There’s even a pencil drawing of Peter and Ned hanging in the corner. Ned swallows.

MJ sits him down at one of the wide art desks and then turns the chair next to them so that she’s facing him. “Okay,” she starts, “I know about Peter.”

Ned’s too exhausted to feign surprise; instead, he just hardens in irritation. “Yeah, he’s gone for a research program—”

“—in Alaska, yeah, I remember what you said, but I’m sick of you lying to me, dude.” She looks stern, nothing like the usually apathetic MJ that he knows. “That’s bullcrap, and I don’t think I have to explain to you all the reasons why it makes no sense.”

Ned shrugs his shoulders. “I told you the truth already, MJ. You’re making a big deal outta nothing.”

MJ glares at him. “Ned—we’re friends . I don’t,” she huffs, “have many of those. And the ones I do, they’re my friends because I trust them. That means I know when you’re lying—I’m not stupid. I figured out Peter’s Spider-Man.”

Ned snorts, but his face warms. “Peter’s not Spider-Man. Spider-Man’s gotta be, like, a college student or something. Have you seen the videos? He can, like, throw cars and stop trains and stuff. Peter can barely manage three pushups in gym class.”

“Ned…” She frowns, flipping the rest of her natural hair over her shoulder. “I remember the weekend before he left for his ‘research program’ or whatever. You hadn’t heard from him. And that Monday, remember that?”

“Yeah, well, he forgot to tell me when he was leaving for the program, so what—”

“So you didn’t know, ” she emphasizes, scooting her chair forward. She examines his face. “I know what you look like when you’re freaking out—you do it before every decathlon competition. And you were freaking out .”

Ned shrugs. “That doesn’t mean anything.”

She huffs again. “Do I really have to spell this out for you, Leeds? You don’t have to keep covering for him—”

“I’m not—”

“—because I know! The day Peter left for his ‘program,’ Spider-Man stopped showing up to save the day. The crime went up, Ned. I’ve done my research. Robberies, muggings, kidnappings, everything. Spider-Man’s not around anymore.”

“I know that,” Ned mumbles, and he fiddles with his sweatshirt, trying not to look at her. How does she know so much? He guesses he shouldn’t be surprised; MJ’s the smartest one on the decathlon team (that’s why she’s club president), but he never thought this would happen. “That doesn’t mean…”

“Plus, I’ve heard you guys talking about Spider-Man before. You never shut up about him.” She chuckles nervously. “Before this, I thought you guys were just, like, obsessed with him—like Flash is—but turns out it’s ‘cause Peter is him. It’s awesome!”

Ned lets out a frustrated breath. “Can you just let this go?” he says, disgruntled. “So, great—you think you’ve figured out the big secret, that some high school kid in Queens in Spider-Man. Congratulations. Can I go now?”

MJ, who’s looking a little pleased with herself now, blinks in surprise. “Dude,” she says firmly. “I didn’t bring you here just to talk about Spider-Man.”

“Then what do you want to talk about?” he snaps. “‘Cause lunch is literally gonna end soon, so if you don’t have anything important to say, I’m gonna go finish my lunch somewhere else.”

Instead of that half-triumphant expression she had on just a moment ago, MJ’s face now fades to dejection. “Dude,” she says again, “I wanted to talk about you.”

Ned shakes his head. “Me?”

“Yeah, I—”

“Well, I’m fine." She's still watching him. "Are you done?”

MJ holds fast. “No! No, dude, I’m not done! You’re not fine!”

Ned rolls his eyes, but inside him, his heart starts to race. “Oh my god—”

“You barely talk to anyone anymore,” she starts, flustered. “To me or any of the others. You rarely come to decathlon practice, and I’ve seen you sulking in the band room when you were supposed to be in calc!”

Sulking? Ned glances at the clock above the paint-spotted door. How much more of this will he have to take?

“Ever since Peter left for his thing, you’ve been...seriously depressed.”

“I’m not depressed,” he barks. “I miss my best friend—is that a crime?”

Taken aback, MJ shakes her head. “No, Ned. Of course not. I just… I know what you’re going through, okay? That’s what I wanted you to hear. I miss him, too. But he’s Spider-Man, he’s probably off doing Avengers stuff with all the rest of them, you know? He’ll be okay, I believe he’ll be okay, I know how you’re feeling—”

“Just stop, MJ. You don’t know anything about what I’m feeling!” He stands up, and his teeth press together so hard that he can feel them grind. “There’s nothing wrong, there’s nothing going on, so just leave it alone! You’re always trying to find the conspiracy, aren’t you? Always trying to get to the bottom of things, but there’s nothing here, so drop it!” As if on cue, the bell rings, alerting the whole school to the start of the passing period, so Ned heaves his backpack onto his back, holding the straps, and heads for the door. “Stay out of my life, MJ. It’s none of your business.”

She stands before him, mouth slightly open. But before she can say anything else, he walks out into the crowd of students, desperately hoping she’ll forget all about Peter and Spider-Man.

WEDNESDAY, MAY 9 — 10:15 AM

Pepper never wants to eat eggs again. As they climb up her throat and she vomits into the toilet, the rancid taste of them seems infinite. As someone raps softly on the bathroom door, she clutches each porcelain side and vomits again. “You okay in there?”

It’s Rhodey’s voice. He’s at the house too often now, checking up on her and asking for updates about Tony. He’s gone over to the lab a couple times to try to coax Tony out without any luck.

He knocks again, but he doesn’t open it. “Need anything?”

She’s already at the sink, nausea twisting in her belly as she rinses her mouth with tap water. “No,” she says.

“You sure?”

She dries her face with a towel and finally opens the door. I need my old life back. “Yeah,” she says instead.

Later, when they’ve settled in the living room, Pepper under two blankets on her laptop as Rhodey flips through news channels. “I thought you said it was food poisoning,” he comments, stealing a glance at her from the other side of the couch.

He’s been staying with her for a couple of weeks, ever since she told him about what Tony did. Even if he’s not sleeping at the compound, he still heads upstate just so he can check on her. “A stomach bug, then,” she says without looking at him. “It’ll go soon, hopefully.”

“Okay…” he responds. He’s giving her that look, the I-know-you’re-lying-but-I-won’t-call-you-out look. “You know, my sister used to get really anxious in high school, and” —he gives up on the news channels, clicking Netflix open on the television— “her stomach got upset whenever she was really stressed out—she’d throw up before tests, that kind of thing.”

She scoffs. “You think this is stress?”

“No—I didn’t say that. Just…”

“What do I have to be stressed about, Rhodey? The company’s doing great, Tony’s out of the picture, I have a lot more free time—”

“Pepper,” he sighs, his mechanically braced legs shifting over the couch.

“What?”

“Let’s not pretend, okay? I know you’re still thinking about Tony—hell, I am, too. I’m worried sick about you and worried sick about him—”

“I’m not thinking about him,” she snaps. “Until he stops hiding out in his lab like a scared toddler, I don’t need to think about him, and it doesn’t look like he’s coming out any time soon.”

There is, of course, the elephant in the room. Tony hit her. It’s the reason she won’t go back to the lab to check on him and the reason why she refuses to talk to Rhodey about him, but it’s there. Rhodey already knew about it—he was the first one she called when she got back to the house, crying, holding an ice pack to a cheek that would probably not even bruise.

“Of course you’re thinking about him,” Rhodey sighs. “I know how much he means to you—and I know you’re still thinking about it.”

“That was weeks ago—”

“Pepper,” her friend says firmly, “what he did changed everything—it’s not going to be that easy to forget.”

Her throat tightens. She keeps replaying the slap in her mind, just like she used to, trying to figure out what she did wrong. It’s so hard to remember that she didn’t do anything to deserve it that sometimes, she chooses to block it all out instead. “Well, what” —her traitorous throat clenches again— “do you suppose I do? Go and beg for forgiveness? I’m not that kind of person anymore.”

“You haven’t been that person in a long time,” he agrees, “and I wasn’t suggesting anything like that. I just… I think maybe… Maybe something’s wrong.”

“Obviously, something’s wrong—Tony broke his goddamn promise.”

“No,” Rhodey says. “I mean, something’s wrong with him. ” He sighs again, running a hand over his recently shaved head. Now, he’s standing up, pacing, and Pepper’s computer is beside her. “The Tony I know would never do anything like that to you—”

“Well, he did.”

Rhodey grimaces. “I know, but he…” He scratches at his chin. “I don’t know. All of this... Being locked in his lab, acting out towards you—”

“He hit me, Rhodes,” she barks, and this wave of grief hits her as she says it, bringing a fresh wave of tears to her eyes. “This wasn’t a normal fight. He told me he didn’t love me, he told me he didn’t want me, and then he hit me.” Rhodey’s face twists in quieted woe. “I’m not going to sit here and unpack this with you like we’re tween girls at a sleepover, because despite what you think, there doesn’t need to be a reason or an explanation; he did it.” She has to take a deep breath to keep her voice from fading out completely. “He just showed his true colors, that’s all.”

The silence sways between them. She doesn’t look back at him again. She can’t.

“Fine,” he says after a while. “Then he has to be held responsible.”

“He won’t leave his lab,” Pepper says. “You know that. What are we supposed to do, drag him out of there?”

“If that’s what it takes.” Rhodey faces her. “Tony’s my friend, but he can’t...just hide after what he did. He’s had enough time to feel sorry for himself. He has to take responsibility—for hiding from you and flaking on your company, and for hitting you.”

There’s an anger inside of her, the kind that lights a fire somewhere deep within her but refuses to explode when she needs it to. She stills for a moment, taking in what Rhodey said, and then throws the blankets off of herself. She’s not going to keep moping around the house; she’s gonna face him. He has to know the consequences of what he did. “Then let’s go,” she says harshly, standing up and striding for the front door.

Rhodey’s startled by her sudden movement, and he blinks. “What—”

“We’re gonna get him out of that lab,” she declares, “even if I have to drag that goddamn coward out myself.”

“Pepper, slow down—”

“No,” she snaps. “You’re right—he has to be held responsible for what he did. He can’t keep hiding from us.” She shoves open the door and Rhodey follows close behind her, making small starts of protest. “Now, where do you keep your suit?”

WEDNESDAY, MAY 9 — 2:39 PM

Cassie is jumping up and down on the bed. “Do you think” —one jump— “Ava will” —another jump— “bring us” —third jump— “a treat” —another— “today?”

Peter’s propped up against the wall, half-asleep. He honestly doesn't know where she gets all this energy—Ava gave them extra food today, an apology for the mess of an escape attempt, for the beatings, so their bellies are full for once. Meaning Cassie feels better than she has in weeks. “She gave us one yesterday, Cass.”

“Yeah, but” —an overdramatic flop onto their bed— “I want another one. Like ice cream.”

“You know we can’t get ice cream…” he starts.

“But ice cream always makes me feel better, and it’ll make you feel better, I promise.”

Promise.She's so sweet.

"I'll ask her," the little girl says, "she's my friend. I think she'll bring us some."

Peter lets out a weak laugh. Any more than that and he would send reverberations of pain through his entire torso. “Maybe…" he gives, playing along. "But, uh... I don't know if Ava can bring us something like that. It’s too big, remember? Treats aren’t big.” Cassie doesn’t truly understand how everything in captivity works, but that’s the only way that Peter could explain it to her. Ava can’t bring them anything bigger than a band-aid box because, well, Charlie would throw a fit.

Cassie huffs from where she lies. “Just a little scoop,” she says, and there's that little kid whine to her voice. "I really, really want it."

Peter’s body still aches. Usually Mr. Stark is there to pick up the pieces after he gets himself hurt, but now all he has is Cassie. “Cassie…” he says.

He’s using his Cassie-you-know-we-can’t voice, and he’s had to use it enough times in this hellhole that she understands what he means. “Fine.”

Peter’s been living with this seven-year-old for over a month now, and although her tantrums are minimized, he knows when she’s upset. “Wait!” he says, with all the drama he can muster (all his theatre experience being a fourth-grade rendition of Peter Pan ). “I think I found something right—oh, right here, in my pocket!”

From her spot on the bed, Cassie perks up. “What?”

“It’s a—a—ice cream scooper!” His voice isn’t as strong as he’d like it to be, but when he’s playing with Cassie, it always grows a little stronger. “Just gotta find...the ice cream…”

Cassie knows this game well; pretending they have things they know they won’t is their best way of passing the time. “Here it is!” she stage-whispers pointing to the door beside him. “Look, it’s vanilla and chocolate and strawberry…”

Peter holds out his hand to her. “Here, young lady, would you like to scoop out your own ice cream?” He’s not strong enough to get up and make it to the door to play with her, so he’ll have to improvise. “You can have any flavor you’d like.”

Cassie’s brown eyes light up, and she scooches off the bed and closer to him. “Do you have cookie dough?”

He starts to say of course but something in his torso flares wildly, making him utter a choked whimper instead.

Cassie doesn’t mind. She takes the imaginary scooper from him and makes pleased noises as she makes sweeping motions with her hands, getting scoop after scoop of ice cream.

As soon as Peter comes to his senses, he adds, in a quiet croak, “Jeez, Cass, how many scoops is that?”

“Twenty-one,” she says promptly, like she's been thinking about it all along. “I took all the flavors.”

“All the flavors? Well, you gotta be careful—keep it balanced... Careful, careful...”

Cassie takes on an expression of amused concentration and holds her stack of ice cream scoops like it’s Excalibur and she's King Arthur. “I got it!” Now that Cassie’s engrossed in her ice cream, Peter finally tunes in to what’s happening outside the door: specifically, the voices.

He didn’t notice them before. It’s not uncommon to hear the conversations of their captors, but having been their captives for weeks now, he knows when they’re getting f*cked up. Slurred words, strange laughter, irregular steps… “...in the world!” one shouts, and there’s a strange chorus of agreement. Peter can hear one of them staggering towards their cell door and vomiting, can hear the splatter hit the cement. “We’re gonna be…gonna be….”

“...it’s all gone…” whimpers a second, farther away. “...it's all gone, everything's gone…”

“...gonna be heroes!” finishes the first. "Set for the rest of our lives, do whatever the f*ck we want..."

“Shut up, shut up, SHUT UP!” cries a third voice clearer than the rest, and Peter’s heart clenches. There’s no mistaking Charlie’s distinct voice. “I’m the hero! Me! I’m gonna….gonna save the f*ckin’ WORLD! Ross can’t take it from me, no—no one can! I’ll do whatever the f*ck I want, as long as I get what the world owes me! I’ll f*ck up Lang and—and—that freak as much as I have to, I’ll—”

They’re high, Peter thinks, in the split second before it happens. And when they're high, they’re dangerous.

Peter's a teenager—he's seen his fair share of weed passed around high school bathrooms, but whatever it is Charlie and the rest of them like to take... It's not weed. It's nothing he's ever seen. He's spotted it in traces, left in white traces on the noses after they've snorted it, or a clear liquid lingering in an empty syringe. He's seen Charlie take it as a pill—one, then two, then three—and it'll take a few minutes before he's swaying, his head twisting, his eyes going wide, sweat pouring down his face—and then at last that wide, crazy smile.

His Spidey Sense (his Peter tingle, May would call it) is going off like a bank alarm, and Cassie’s still standing by him with her hands outstretched, talking about ice cream flavors, so Peter figures out far too late— “Mint chocolate chip!" she squeals, and she's way, way too loud.

From down the hall, Peter can hear Charlie’s breathing quicken.

It happens too fast. Charlie storms down the hallway with a burst of newfound energy, and a few of his crew follow. He’s screaming something about ungrateful kids and something about Cassie, but their words are so foggy that Peter barely knows what he’s saying.

This time, he realizes with a distinct touch of horror, he’s not strong enough to protect her. “Iron Man!” he shouts, and Cassie looks up, startled. That’s their code word—he’s telling her, get under the bed, hide, I can’t protect you—

But this time, when the door flings open, there’s someone standing in front of it with her arms outstretched, blocking their way. She’s dark-skinned, or maybe it’s just the light, and depressingly thin, with long, tangled hair and twitching hands. “ No! ” she snarls, and her twitching worsens. “I won’t let you hurt them, not again, Charlie! It’s—it’s over!”

“Move out of the f*cking way, Ava!”

Another figure moves in front of the door, and Cassie starts crying. “Charlie, stop!” This new voice is young but firm, and the body it belongs to barely reaches Ava’s shoulder. “This isn’t you—they’re just kids!”

“They’re f*cking disobeying me! They never listen!”

“They’re just playing! Leave them a—” Charlie knocks the smaller girl out of the way with his fist, and she hits the ground, lying there without getting back up.

Peter’s heart races. He knows saying anything will make it worse, so he shuts his mouth. He tries to move towards Cassie but— holy sh*t that hurts— he can’t. His body is a cage, a cage that Charlie molded with his bare hands. He can’t protect Cassie. He can’t stop Charlie from threatening the one good thing in his life. He’s not Spider-Man anymore; he’s too weak. He’s barely Peter Parker anymore. He’s just...a lump of bleeding flesh.

When he looks back up, Ava’s not in the doorway anymore. She’s on the ground, groaning in pain, managing, “Please, Charlie, I—” before Charlie’s fist hits her again. A couple of the others follow suit, pounding the woman into the ground until Peter can hear the squelch of bloody knuckles against her crushed bones.

Cassie cries harder. Thank God she’s not facing the doorway, so she doesn’t have to see all the blood.

But Peter does.

WEDNESDAY, MAY 9 — 3:30 PM

As soon as the last bell rings, Ned’s chem class scatters like roaches. His seat is by the door, so when he looks outside and sees MJ glaring at him from the hallway now filling with students, he seethes with a sudden sense of intrusion. What right does she have to invade into his life like this? What he does with his time is his business, not hers.

She weasels her way into the classroom as the other students (and the teacher, who clearly has somewhere to be) flee the room. “What are you doing?” he complains.

“Just gonna walk you to practice,” she comments.

“I don’t need a babysitter.”

“No, but you do need an escort,” she shoots back. “It’s two days a week, Ned—and you barely come to one now.”

“I’m coming,” he tells her. “I’ll meet you there.”

“Ned—”

“I will!”

She lets out a snort of disbelief. “Even if I’m not your friend anymore” —Ned swallows— “I’m still your captain. Come to practice, dude.”

“I’ll be right there,” Ned says, adjusting the straps of his backpack. He checks his watch. 3:12—he has to go.

MJ glares at him. “That’s what you said last time, Leeds,” she protests. “And the time before that.”

“I’ll be there!’ he assures her. “Go lead the team—I just have to finish up something for chem. Decathlon can go on without me for a few minutes.”

She gives him a long, hard stare. “Fine,” she says finally. “But if you’re not there in fifteen, I’m putting you on the reserves.”

Ned gives her a thumbs up, and she rolls her eyes, turning on her heel and heading for the auditorium where the decathlon team practices.

Needless to say, Ned doesn’t return to decathlon practice. He rarely shows up to practice now; MJ’s threatened to kick him off the team at least a dozen times.

Instead, he takes the subway.

He sits at the back of the car with his backpack hugged to his chest. By now, he knows the route; where to get on, where to get off, and where to walk after he gets off the subway.

He travels all the way to a hospital at the edge of Queens, where the receptionist greets him with a kind smile. “Ned! You didn’t come yesterday!”

He shoves his hands into his pockets. “Yeah, sorry… Wasn’t feeling great.”

The nurse smiles at him and gives him a visitor’s pass. “That’s okay, honey. We all have our days.” She waves him away. “Go right ahead—I’ll sign you in.”

“Thanks,” Ned answers, and he pushes through the waiting room of expectant families and anguished friends down the hall, to the elevator, up a couple floors, all the way to Room 317. Once there, he clears his throat and knocks lightly. Someone cracks open the door for him. It’s Trevor, the nurse with long blonde hair who never fails to bring him candy or coffee whenever he accidentally stays too late. “Hey, bud,” says Trevor. “I just did her exercises—how was school?”

Ned shrugs. Trevor’s always so kind, but Ned feels more like a statue than a human being. “Fine.”

“Learn anything cool?”

“Not really.”

“Beat up anyone annoying?”

That gets a low chuckle out of Ned. “I wish.”

Trevor removes his medical gloves in one practiced movement and pats Ned’s shoulder. “Have a good time,” he says.

Ned shrugs again.

As Trevor goes, Ned settles into his usual waiting room chair, the one by the window, and drops his backpack onto the linoleum floor. Unzipping it, he pulls out a handful of books—a series of Star Trek books that are sort of canon—and sets them on the table beside him. “Hey, May,” he says, staring at the woman in the hospital bed in front of him. “Whaddaya wanna read today? More Star Trek?”

May’s ventilator rises and falls.

“Good choice.” It’s nothing more than the usual jokes he makes, but now, in his dull voice, they fall flat. He cracks open the novel they left off at, and he starts to read. He doesn’t know if she’s even into Star Trek (knowing May, she would be), but it’s the only set of books he owns that could last a long period of time. She may never wake up, Trevor told him. Her brain experienced a lot of stress during her accident—that kind of trauma can put people in comas for months. He’d stopped to stare at Ned then. But you don’t know her, right?

No! Ned asserted, nervous. I—um—I just wanna help. Just think everyone should, uh, have some company, at least. Even if she is just a Jane Doe. To the hospital, May Parker is no one. They found her in a car accident without an ID or any other form of identification (which was strange to Ned in and of itself, because May always brought her purse with her everywhere) with significant head trauma, no driver, and possible signs of struggle in the vehicle, a car registered to a Mary Fitzpatrick. To Ned, obviously, he knew that the old car belonged to Peter’s mom before she died, and that they’d never re-registered it to avoid any extra fees or auto insurance. To the hospital and the police, it created a gap of information with a dead registered owner, no driver, and a freshly comatose Jane Doe. Ned wasn’t able to find out where they had taken her until over a week after Peter’s disappearance, where he promptly remembered what Tony had told him and swore to himself never to tell anyone who May was.

Although May’s situation is dire now, he can’t imagine what it would be like if the bad guys behind what happened found out she was here.

So Ned keeps quiet. He comes to the hospital every day after school, if he can, and talks to her. He’ll read or ramble, but it’s better than staring at her lifeless form and all the tubes, needles, and machines. It’s better to imagine she’s just sleeping. She’s the only person he has right now, and he’s not going to leave her to the wolves. He maintains his little facade: to his mom, he’s at daily decathlon practice; to the hospital, he’s a kind young volunteer; and to MJ… Well, MJ’s starting to see right through his cracks.

Honestly, Ned doesn’t know if he can keep this up much longer.

WEDNESDAY, MAY 9 — 4:52 PM

The metal mechanisms in the suit enclose over her bit by bit, starting at her torso and spreading over her body until she’s completely encased in the suit. Watching her reflection in the glass, she moves the limbs of the suit, flexing the mechanisms and practicing her movement. She’s lucky he kept a spare suit in their house in case anything happened there.

Now, she’ll be the invincible one.

It’s so hard to think about Tony this way—her enemy, she supposes—when her heart is screaming for him to save him. But how is she supposed to love the person who broke her heart? “We made a promise,” she says, the faceplate lifted so she can glare into the reflective glass. “And you broke it.” That promise meant everything—it’s what makes her who she is today, a woman who can stand with her chin high and say that she’s stronger than her past.

Tony brought it all rushing back.

It’s been weeks, but she can’t forgive him. They buried their trust in each other, through late-night conversations and post-nightmare confessions, like they’d never been able to in past relationships; that was what made them special...or so she thought. She can’t stop replaying what happened in her mind, the way Tony looked at her, the words he said, the way he wound up his hand to hit her, and it’s something that she doesn’t think she’ll ever be able to forget.

She turns the arms of the suit and shifts her feet. “Rhodey,” she calls out, and her friend enters the room, fully encased in his War Machine armor. His feet make massive thumps as he goes, clanging towards her. “Ready to go?” he asks.

“Yeah.” She slams the faceplate down. In the glass, Iron Man stares back at her.

She raises one gauntlet and blasts the glass with a blinding burst of white light.

“I’m ready.”

The lab is still on lockdown when they arrive at the front door, their boots torching the brick as they land their suits. Pepper, who’s only been in a suit a few times, has a more rocky landing than her practiced counterpart, stumbling a little once her boots hit the bricks. “It’s still locked up,” announces Rhodey, banging loudly at the metal sheet over the door with his fist. “Maybe I can—” He anchors his fingers at the edge of the doorway, attempting to peel away at its edges. “Nope—this isn’t coming off, Pepper. Got any—”

She blasts the door a few feet from where Rhodey stands.

“Pepper!”

“What?” she snaps.

He shakes his head as though he’s going to say something, but he remains silent. “Nothing.” He moves away from the entrance. “Let’s just…try knocking first, okay?”

“We’ve tried that enough times,” she declares. “It’s time we get the upper hand.” She raises her hand and, setting her feet, shoots another series of detonations that leave dented, ashy marks in the door. “Come on!”

Rhodey moves back to set her feet beside her, and together, they blast the door to kingdom come. Flames raze the grass at the building’s walls, and the air fills with the thick scent of smoke as they form dents into the metal casing of the door. It goes on for minutes more, but still there’s no response. “Tony, come outside!” shouts Rhodey. “We just want to talk!”

Nothing.

“Tony!” Pepper warms up the gauntlet, and with a particularly strong blast of energy, pounds a big dent into the center of the door. None of it is coming off as she expected it would—their blasts only form marks in the metal. “It isn’t working,” she says.

“If we keep at it,” Rhodey says, his voice muffled behind his faceplate, “then it will. Keep going. We’ll get to him eventually.”

They hammer the door with shots from their gauntlets—annoyed, Pepper says, “Use the one on your back.”

“That could destroy the place,” Rhodey explains. “I’m not going to use it.”

“It’ll be better than this!”

He shakes his head. “It’s too dangerous, Pep—if Tony’s standing behind the door, it could really hurt him.”

“Then don’t you have a higher setting than that? That suit is a weapon of war, Rhodey. Turn it up.”

“I can’t ,” he says. “I don’t want to hurt him.”

Pepper scoffs. “We’re barely making any progress here—he’s probably sitting in there, laughing at us!”

“Pepper,” he warns, “you know that’s not true.”

“Don’t act like you know him,” she snaps, raising her gauntlet again. “He’s a liar and an asshole. That’s all he’s ever been.”

“We don’t know what happened,” Rhodey presses on. “He’s not usually like this; there must be something—”

The indented metal slides away from the door, whining as it scrapes at the front door. Both Pepper and Rhodey stop where they are gauntlets trained on the door, where it reveals Tony.

He looks different.

His hair is longer and grayer, speckled with light strands, and his beard is scruffy, not like the well-manicured one he usually has. He’s wearing boxers and a gray T-shirt, but his clothes are spattered with coffee stains and grime. When was the last time he showered? He’s thinner, too, noticeably so, and holy f*ck, his eyes…

It’s like his irises have shattered completely. Pepper knows he’s had moments like this, times when she walks into his lab and he’s rocking slowly, curled up under a lab table, whispering to himself, unable to hide his breakdown even once she arrives to pull him out of it. His hand twitches at his side. The other hand holds a… What is that, a gun? It’s some kind of machine with a handle, exposed wires, and a glowing blue center. There’s an earpiece lodged in his ear and a reddened bruise at the edge of his hairline. “Pepper,” he says, in this croaky half-gasp, and he flinches.

Holy sh*t. What happened to him?

The fury that filled her only seconds ago starts to die inside of her chest, but she points the gauntlet straight at him, and Rhodey does, too. “Enough is enough, Tony,” announces Rhodey, lifting his faceplate. “It’s time to come home.”

Tony shakes his head furiously, raising the thing by his side. He’s acting strange, all twitching fingers and slow blinks, and Pepper’s concern is overwhelming her rage. “Y-you shouldn’t—be here!”

“You’ve been in there long enough,” Rhodey continues, “It’s time, Tony. Come out of the—”

“N- no! ” Tony raises the machine at his side, and she realizes it’s most definitely a gun. Is that what he’s doing in that lab? “I’m not going any—anywhere—you can’t—make me!” he screeches.

“You’re acting like a lunatic, Tony!” Pepper shouts, and her gauntlet glows with heat. “You can’t keep hiding in there!”

Tony points the gun at Rhodey, then Pepper, then Rhodey again. “I—I’m not—you don’t un—you can’t—I’m not leaving! ” Rhodey takes a step toward him and Tony lets out a strangled screech. “Back—get back! Back up!”

“Tony—”

“Get the f*ck away from me!”

“That’s it!” Pepper snaps. “We’re taking you out of here whether you like it or not—you can’t keep hiding from what you did —”

Tony’s shaking his head again. “—you—you can’t be here—I have to be alone, I’m a f*cking scientist—I have to—I have to work alone, you can’t— don’t come any closer!” He pulls the trigger and a blast of blue light explodes from the tip of the gun, whizzing past Rhodey’s face.

“Whoa!” Rhodey exclaims, dropping his faceplate. “Tony, whoa, whoa, watch it!”

“You can’t do this to me, you can’t—any closer and I’ll shoot, I’ll f*cking kill you all, I’ll do it” —several blasts fire from the weapon, charring the earth— “GET BACK, I’LL DO IT!”

“You’re not gonna kill anyone, Tony,” Rhodey says, inching closer and closer to the man in the doorway. “You just need some sleep—we’re gonna get you checked out, we’re gonna bring you home—”

“NO!”

As Rhodey steps close enough to touch him, Tony takes the gun he’s pointing at his friend and points it up into the soft spot underneath his own chin, holding it tightly in both of his trembling hands.

Pepper’s heart stops in her chest, and both she and Rhodey stop talking.

“Any—any closer—and I—I’ll pull the trigger!

Rhodey puts his hand up. “Tony,” he says, breathless. “Put the gun down.”

Tony jams the weapon further into his chin. “Don’t f*cking move!”

“We’re not moving, Tony, just—just put it down. Let’s talk.”

“I said d- =don’t move! I’ll—I-I—”

Pepper’s frozen in place. She’s not angry anymore; she’s terrified. The Tony that’s standing before her right now needs her, but all she’s been doing for the past month is seething at every memory of him. She chokes on his name.

“Put it down, Tony.”

Tears are trickling down his face. “Go— get out of here! I’ll do it, I’ll f*cking do it, I don’t even—even care anymore, I’ll d-d—” His sobs creep into his words until he can’t even get another sentence across. “Get—out—or I-I’ll pull the f*ckING TRIGGER!”

His hands jerk with the force of his words, and Pepper lets out an involuntary scream. She grabs for Rhodey’s metal-encased arm. “Okay, we’re going, Tony, don’t” —she gulps— “do anything, we’re going, okay?” She urges Rhodey back. “Let’s go, Rhodey—now, we’ve gotta go—”

Rhodey’s faceplate is up again. There’s a burned streak across the side of his face from when Tony fired the weapon at him. He’s still gaping openmouthed at his best friend. “Tony…”

Pepper pulls at his arm, and finally, Rhodey backs up, one robotic step at a time.

As they go, Tony stands there with the gun stabbing into his chin, legs shaking, watching them. The entire way back, Pepper can still hear Tony crying.

Something is really wrong here.

WEDNESDAY, MAY 9 — 6:34 PM

“Julia?”

Maggie watches as Jim’s face takes on a strange expression. “Yeah,” he says. “Okay. Okay. Yeah.” He looks at Maggie, wide-eyed, and says, “Uh-huh. Yeah. Okay. We’ll—we’ll be—be right there. Yeah. Of course. Yeah. Okay. Bye.”

Maggie stares at him and pulls her cardigan tighter around herself.

“That was Officer Paz,” Jim gulps. “She says… They’ve got a lead on Cassie.”

“A...lead? Are they—where? What is it?”

Jim’s already shoving his feet into his shoes. “They haven’t found her, but they found a body—not Cassie—dropped in Lake Champlain, on the Vermont side. It’s a five-hour drive.”

“Why—who is—who is it? What does it have to do with—with Cassie?”

“It’s not Cassie, they told me that,” he explains, “and they’re still running tests, but so far all they’ve got is that she’s a black young adult female, and they found some hair and other trace DNA on her—one of which belonged to Cassie.” He tosses Maggie her jacket and picks up the keys. “We gotta go to the site to see if we recognize anything—anything that could help us find Cassie.”

“O-okay. Let’s go.”

Chapter 5: i get tired (and i get sick)

Summary:

A small voice. “Peter,” says Cassie. She is kneeled beside him on the floor, eyes wide in the dim light. “You’re doing it again.”

“Doing what?” he asks, and he remembers that his mouth still tastes of vomit.

The little girl in front of him looks so weary. Her hair is dark and unwashed, oily and sticky and reeking slightly of dirt and dried blood. “You’re being weird,” she says. “I don’t like it.”

Notes:

chap title from 'i can't handle change' by roar

CW: injury, blood, violence, violence against an animal, drug abuse, implied child abuse, referenced CSA in formal setting, captivity, referenced death/mortician stuff, needles.

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

WEDNESDAY, MAY 9 — 6:27PM

Riri Williams doesn’t like to stick around past six o’clock; when it gets around the time to bring Peter before the cameras, she usually asks Zhiyuan to use her as tattoo practice or for Haroun to give her a ride in Nick’s truck. She doesn’t want to watch; neither does Haroun.

Zhiyuan’s passed out in the barracks, and Haroun’s already a little high. He’s not into angel dust like Charlie—he always says it makes him too crazy—but he’s been on benzos and opioids for as long as she’s known him. Even now, laying on the floor beside Charlie, his head tilts to the sky. Haroun’s eyes are half-closed. The bearded Charlie has his hands propped beneath his head, and he giggles to himself, whispering something to Haroun, who has one hand tracing swirls in the air. Haroun is only a few years older than her, but when he’s like this, he looks so much older. To be fair, he’s lived in Charlie’s world much longer than she has—a life of the day-to-day, of a constant wondering where to get their next high. It wears on the body.

“Haroun,” she says, and he hmphs in response, opening his eyes just a fraction wider. His shirt has risen up on his chest to reveal a sheen of sweat and two thin scars spreading across his chest, double faint lines that line the bottom of his pectorals.

It takes a second for his eyes to land on her, and when he finally does, his hand drops from the air to thump against his chest. “Riri,” he answers.

She nods at her wrist, where her plastic Iron Man watch blinks dimly.

Haroun sighs once, gently through his nose, and his eyes drift to Charlie. “Hey, man,” he says, “me and Riri gonna go for a drive.”

Charlie snorts and wipes at his eyes. He’s smiling—how much f*cking angel dust is he on? “Yeah, sure, just…” He waves at the wall, where a stack of Stark’s prototypes line up like soccer trophies against the wall, each glowing varying shades of blue. “Try out the new one. The, um…” Propping himself up on his hands, he nods to the leftmost one. “Glowy one.”

Haroun stands up, sways, and falls against the wall, heavy-bodied. He’s in no shape to pick up a weapon, let alone wield it, so Riri steps between him and the sprawled-out Charlie to grab the gun. It’s hot in her hands, so warm that she has to shift it off of her fingers and onto her sleeves so as not to burn herself.

Haroun’s in no shape to drive, but Riri doesn’t have anything in her system, so she offers. He staggers out with his hand braced against the wall, but she doesn’t have anything in her system, so she can walk normally.

On their way out, they pass the row of star-painted cells, and at the end: Parker and Cassie’s cell. Peter, she thinks to herself, and the first name has so much weight that she can almost hear Stark screaming it over the phone. Inside the cell, she can hear Cassie crying and wailing. She can hear Parker talking, but his voice sounds raspy and slow. He’s hushing her, saying something like, “They’re coming, they’re coming.”

Just for a moment, Riri pauses outside of the kids' cell. The pair have gone quiet now, but she can still hear Cassie breathing, gulping in big, stilted gasps of air. If she opened the food slot right now, she could probably see the two of them huddled together like a pair of Victorian orphans, hugging each other like it's their last moment on Earth.

The sun has started to set, and a dim orange-yellow dips through the trees as they leave the bunker. The entrance to their bunker is deep in the White Mountains of New Hampshire, and so far from any trail or road that they have never seen another person near the entrance. Their vehicles, even, are parked an hour-long walk away from the bunker.

She keeps walking.

“Your turn,” says Haroun, dropping the gun into the dirt and shaking his lightly-burned hand. “Damn—that f*cking hurts.”

The sun has not yet begun to set, but the birch trees surrounding them batter the light into stripes and streaks, making the sky seem darker than it actually is. Riri reaches for the Stark weapon; before picking it up, she wraps her hands with medical tape and tosses the roll of tape to Haroun. “Here.”

As he wraps his own hands, she picks up the weapon and they begin their trek, searching for other animals in the underbrush. “Look,” Haroun says finally, hushed.

There’s a pair of deer a hundred feet away, lower on the mountain. It looks like a mother and a baby, one small and gangly, the other tall and sure.

“Haroun,” whines Riri. “Come on. Let’s wait for another.”

“Another?” he scoffs. He squats lower to the ground, and she can see his toe protrude through the tip of his sneaker. “What, they’re too cute for you to kill?”

A hot annoyance rises in her. “No,” she refutes.

“You were fine with the squirrel last time.”

“Yeah, but—”

“And the fox.”

“That’s not the same thing.”

They watch as the mother and little deer traipse closer, hopping between trees and nudging bushes with their snouts. “They’re just a little bigger, that’s all.” Riri picks up the weapon. There’s no viewfinder on Stark’s gun, but she closes one eye anyway, pretending to be Hawkeye.

Haroun clicks his tongue and nudges the weapon with his finger so that it points farther right. “Not that one. The little one.”

She scoffs. “Seriously? I’m not gonna kill the baby.”

Haroun stares at her. “Riri,” he starts, as she drops her arm, letting the gun hang heavily at her side, straining her shoulder. This time, he speaks very deliberately, so much so that she thinks he must be sobering up: “I don’t think Charlie cares how old the test subjects are.”

Riri wants to laugh, but she’s sure that would be in poor taste. Charlie is the one who took them from drugs to kidnapping to torture to murder. “I don’t care what Charlie thinks,” she shoots back.

Haroun stares again. And for a moment he just watches her with his lips pressed together. It’s not sober clarity she’s seeing, but the clarity one reaches when they are finally free of pain. “Yes, you do.” He waves in the direction of the deer. “Besides, if you kill the mom, then the little guy will just die anyway. Then you’ll just be killing them both. You don’t want that, do you?”

Riri ends up firing anyway, and she catches the baby deer in the rear.

It squeals as it dies.

Maybe she’s not Hawkeye. Maybe she's... Maybe she's the bad guy.

They head to a McDonald’s just before seven, so they’re gone by the time the screaming starts. It’s not like they can hear it from outside of the bunker, but the proximity alone is enough for Haroun to complain of nausea. They order a couple Happy Meals for Parker and the girl, and some burgers and fries for most everyone else. A Big Mac for Mason. Nuggets for Zhiyuan. Cheese for Renee, no cheese for Jon.

On their way back to the bunker, holding the crinkled, warm bag of food, Riri mentions, “You wanna know what Stark told me?”

Haroun huffs. He takes a swig of something from a Gatorade bottle—not Gatorade. “Do I?”

She can’t help it. “He said… He might not be able to make the weapon. The real one, I mean. The one that can, like, disintegrate people. The way Charlie wants it.” She doesn’t look at him; Riri keeps her eyes on the road and her hands at nine-and-three. “He said that the thing HYDRA had was different because they had some other thing, this like magic thing—”

“You have to stop talking to him,” snaps Haroun suddenly. The bottle is back in its cupholder and Haroun is staring at her. “What the hell are you guys doing chatting it up, anyway? You’re supposed to get in there, give him what he needs, and get out, remember?”

Her chest burns, as does her face, but her dark skin hides the heat in her cheeks. “Um.”

“Of course he’s gonna tell you he can't do it! He wants you to think that so we’ll let Parker go. He wants us to give up, but we can’t. We can’t.” He stabs a finger at the front windshield as though Stark is standing on the hood of the car. “Those kids aren’t going f*cking anywhere. Stark’s gonna make us what he promised.”

“I know,” she says, “but what if—”

“Riri,” he says, and she shuts up. This time, his hand is on her wrist, and it’s clammy. “Charlie knows what he’s doing. He—I know he gets carried away sometimes, but he—he knows what’s best for us. He does.” Haroun squeezes her arm, and she keeps her hands stiffly on the wheel. “Once we get that weapon—you can have anything you want, man. Anything in the world.”

“I know,” she echoes.

“So don’t doubt him, okay? He knows—he knows what he’s doing. The whole journey to peace isn’t gonna be rainbows and butterflies, you know?” He tilts his head back against his headrest and stares at the ceiling. “Gotta have some bumps along the way. I don’t like it either, but sometimes pain is necessary, man.” His face is slack, save the wrinkle between his brows. “No pain, no gain, huh?”

By the time they get back, it’s nearly dark, with only a faded blue sky, a waning crescent, and Riri’s phone flashlight to light their way home.

After parking Nick’s truck and walking the way to the bunker in silence, Haroun stops her. They are now outside of the entrance, with the hatch just a few feet away. “Wait,” he says, and he looks suddenly sad. He’s on something—he smoked something on the way up. “Listen.” He looks guiltily at the hatch. “You’re not addicted yet,” he says, “so for you, you could do it. You could get out of here. You’re still, like, a kid.” He sniffs. “You don’t have to stay cooped up here like the rest of us. I know you miss your brother…” She can’t help but wince at the mention of him, and she stares pointedly at the dirt, scuffing her pink Converse on some tree roots. “We miss him, too, but I’m sure the others would understand. You’re not like us, and I don’t—I don’t want you to be. You’ve still got a chance. You could do it. You don’t have to sit in a dungeon all day reading comic books or whatever.”

Sometimes, Riri thinks about leaving. About packing a bag and walking out into Nowhere, New Hampshire and getting away from this place. But she wouldn’t know what to do. She’s spent her life with these people—she hates them, she loves them—and they’re her family. Sure, they screw up, but they’re doing their best. Right?

“I could,” Riri answers, squinting at him, “but I can’t leave my best friend behind, can I?”

He smiles, and then he sighs, and his relief is as clear as the starlit sky.

Haroun nudges open the slot with his foot, and Riri pushes the first Happy Meal through. She’s not the one who usually does this; but Ava’s gone now. Someone’s gotta take the job. She pushes the second Happy Meal through the slot and a small, pale hand hooks onto her fingers. “Ava?” asks the Lang girl. She sounds like she’s been crying.

Riri yanks her hand back, but Cassie’s hand still waves through, fingers waggling, half of her teary face visible through the slot. “Ava? Ava?” Parker must be asleep; usually when Cassie gets too close to the others, he jumps to her rescue like a mama bear. But right now she doesn’t even hear him complaining.

“Not Ava,” she answers, and the girl’s name feels like acid. “Riri.”

Haroun pushes Cassie’s hand back inside and closes the slot.

“She shouldn’t know your name,” says Haroun. “Seriously, Riri, that’s not good.”

“Why?” asks Riri, and her face goes sour. “It’s not like they’re going anywhere.” She looks up at Haroun. “Right?”

WEDNESDAY, MAY 9 — 9:16 PM

“It’s not too bad,” Dr. Cho comments, tilting Rhodey’s face to examine the burn further. “Second degree. Just a graze.” With her rubber-gloved hands, she prods at the edges of the blistered skin. “I’m going to give you some antimicrobial ointment for it, but the pain will be minimal. And it shouldn’t scar.”

After dressing the wound, Cho turns to Pepper, who’s sitting on the other side of the Medbay room with her hands tucked beneath her legs. “He was right about this one, Pepper. It’s really not bad at all. How did it happen?”

For obvious reasons, Pepper doesn’t want to talk about it. She just shrugs as Rhodey says, “Just practice with one of Tony’s suits.”

“Why were you practicing with your faceplate up?”

“Caught me off guard.” Rhodey pats the new bandage on his face as though to make sure it’ll stay in place.

“Didn’t realize anything could catch the Iron Patriot off guard,” she jokes, pulling her gloves off and tossing them into the nearest trash can.

Rhodey laughs half-heartedly. “Actually, Helen,” Rhodey starts, “as long as we’re in here, do you think you could check on Pepper? She’s been…” He glances at her, wrongfully hoping she’ll finish his sentence for him. “...having some nausea...and…”

“It’s nothing,” Pepper interrupts, clipping her hair back. “Probably a mild stomach bug—nothing too serious.”

Helen gives her a look. “You don’t pay me to sit around and watch you suffer, Pepper. I’m here for a reason.” One of her nurses guides Rhodey off the exam table and into one of the chairs by the wall before exchanging the sheet on top for a fresh one.

“I’m telling you, I’m fine.”

“I can give you a more specific explanation than ‘I’m fine,’” Cho reminds her.

“Aren’t you a geneticist?” Pepper mutters, as Cho ushers her onto the exam table. She’s too tired to protest, anyway.

“I’m also your friend,” she says. “Which means if you’re suffering, I’m gonna tell you why. Besides, I like putting my M.D. to good use. Rhodey, do you mind…”

Rhodey tips an imaginary cowboy hat and leaves the room.

“Now,” Cho continues, this time with a clean pair of gloves, “care to tell me what’s going on?”

Pepper sighs and tips her head back against the headrest. She’s lying horizontally now, her hair-clasp digging into the back of her head. “It’s complicated.”

“Rhodey shows up with a second-degree burn from an Iron Man gauntlet and all I get is ‘it’s complicated?’” Helen unbuttons Pepper’s shirt and presses gently against her stomach. “You’ll have to do better than that.”

Pepper does her best to explain, but it’s difficult. So, like the incredibly open person she is, she talks about how Tony refuses to leave his lab, about his recent hostility, even about Peter and how he hasn’t contacted her in weeks. “I know he’s at that research program,” she says dismissively, “but I worry, you know? The kid spends so much time with us, he practically lives here. Tony has a room for him and everything, but he’s too shy to ever take us up on sleeping over here… I just…”

Helen guides her to a sitting position and presses the cold chestpiece against her back. “A couple deep breaths for me, please.”

Pepper does as she says.

Every breath she takes feels like it’s full of needles. She can’t stop thinking about how Tony shoved that gun into that spot beneath his chin. The violent determination in his shaking hands. The way his eyes screamed for help. The pasty glaze over his skin. It was terrifying.

“Again.”

He was ready to pull that trigger. Tony’s expressed to her some suicidal ideation before; this is not news to her. Beneath his haughty veneer lay a man who was constantly afraid, and would do anything to not feel that fear again, whether it meant sleeping in his lab or putting poison in his chest.

But whenever Tony expresses things like this, she’s comforted by what he always reminds her: he’s never acted on it.

Yet she saw his finger on that trigger, his hand twitching, body wrought with tension. He would’ve pulled it. If they had gotten any closer, he would’ve…

“Again, please.”

She does, and it still hurts.

She loves Tony more than she could ever explain. He’s seen her at her best and her worst, and she’s seen him the same. He’s the only person she can ever truly be honest with. They complete each other. She knows he would never betray her, and yet...he did. Her conversation with Helen fades away, and all she can see is her fiancé (ex-fiancé, she thinks, and the word tastes like the salty tang of blood) and his twisted expression, the barrel of his gun dug deep into the soft of his under-chin.

She once found him looking like that.

Tony’s sitting on the floor in the living room, and the television’s on. It must be a home video, Pepper determines, because the camerawork is shaky and the video’s upside down and it’s more pixelated than anything that’s been on that screen in months. A VCR sits beside him, whirring softly, cords streaming to the wall. The sound is faint, but her boyfriend’s so extraordinarily close to the screen that every time the camera moves, light shifts over his face. His legs are drawn up a little, and both hands are set on his knees like a kid watching the Flintstones instead of a grown man watching his own company’s hundred-thousand dollar television. What is he watching?

It’s a short video—only a few minutes, as the image of the empty kitchen Pepper saw when she first entered the room reappears. How long has he been sitting there, watching these same few minutes?

The video onscreen is barely displaying anything; it’s set viewing half of the Stark family kitchen as Edward Jarvis, the man Tony speaks of so fondly, stands with both hands gripping the kitchen counter, hunched over a little. The camera is turned over, making the video upside down so that Jarvis is standing on the ceiling instead of the floor. He’s clearly forgotten about the camera he just set down, which might’ve been taken out for the purpose of a couple family photos. To anyone else, he looks like a stiff older man just doing his job, perhaps taking a break due to back trouble. The most important part of the video, however, is the background noise: from the other room, a shout and a shuffle and a “I’m sorry! I’m sorry!” as Jarvis bows his head, with a taut expression of distress, before the camera. The older man takes a breath and holds it, his hands tightening around the counter-edge. Another shout, and a sharp smack, and Jarvis winces, turning his face away from the camera.

“...one more time!” Another slap, this time followed by a yelp and a wet sob. The audio is troubled, struggling to choose between the background noise—crack after crack after crack—and the barely perceptible rustles of Jarvis’ clothing. A string of pops in the man’s back as he shifts, alternating his weight between his feet. A rush of hushed arguing, a series of footsteps, and then—

Sudden silence. It takes a moment for Pepper to realize that Edwin Jarvis is holding his breath.

Only a few seconds pass before a boy of maybe eight years old runs into the room and directly into Jarvis’ leg, knocking him back into the counter behind him. The video is still upside-down, so it takes Pepper a second to recognize her fiancé, just forty-some years younger.

Tony’s hair is cut and clean and oily black, swept into a gelled cowlick, and he is dressed in Christmas colors from head to toe: a wrinkled cream dress shirt, an unbuttoned emerald sweater vest, a pair of sangria-colored worsted-wool pants with a matching jacket, a jacket that is now inside out and bunched up. The rush of tears is immediate, and Tony presses his face into Jarvis’ thigh, and all is quiet, even his tears—the sound has cut out.

Jarvis looks younger now that he’s looking at Tony; he looks like a father. “Young sir,” he says gently, as the audio crackles to life, “we only need a few more minutes for the advert… Afterwards, we can go for sandwiches, yes?” Inconsolable, the boy continues to sob. When Jarvis places his hand on his back, he gasps sharply and gathers his fists into Jarvis’ pant leg. Pepper watches with slightly-disturbed intensity as Jarvis’ entire face suddenly tightens, brow to jaw to neck. Both hands now on the boy’s small shoulders, barely ghosting the fabric, he tilts his neck back as though ready to pray and blinks up at the ceiling. They stay like that for a moment, Jarvis facing the sky and Tony hiding his own face. “Master Stark,” he says finally, like the little boy crying into his pant leg is already a CEO, “where?”

Tony only seems to sob harder.

Instead of prying the kid away from him as Pepper expects, Edwin Jarvis kneels, sliding to the floor so slowly and achingly that Tony lets go, hanging his arms at his sides until the older man and the boy come face to face. The man’s knees must ache, but still he kneels, and the audio cuts out once more. He touches the kid’s head, then both sides of his face, and starts to speak.

Whatever the butler says seems to comfort Tony, because the boy eventually nods, sniffling, tears still threatening to bubble over. He removes the kid’s vest, half-thrown on, and then rebuttons the wrinkled shirt beneath it. The whole time, Jarvis keeps speaking, and Tony keeps nodding. He adjusts the vest, and then, with surprising difficulty, turns the jacket from inside-out to its rightful state by pulling the sleeves through their holes. He doesn’t make him turn around; instead, he maneuvers the boy’s hands through the sleeves and pulls on the suit jacket with care, slowly. Adjusting the boy's collar and smoothing all visible wrinkles, he finally dabs at the kid’s face with the edge of his tie, which he then tucks back into his buttoned vest. They’re still speaking, but Jarvis has turned, so only Tony is visible. The boy shakes his head, and shakes again, and Jarvis thumbs away a fresh round of tears before Tony embraces the older man.

A shout from Howard, caught halfway through by a choir of static and an eruption of noise: “Jarvis! Camera!”

“Yes, sir!” answers the man, and he grips the edge of the counter to lift himself back up. Jarvis pats Tony’s small shoulder, and he scoops up the camera from the counter—and the video starts over.

Pepper kneels next to him. She picks up the remote from where it is settled beside him and presses pause—onscreen, Jarvis stands alone, his hands braced once more against the gleaming counter, pained, his head bowed and his face twisted in a perpetual wince.

Tony, the one hugging his knees in front of the television, continues to stare. “It’s a Beta,” he says, and he doesn’t turn away from the television to look at her. “First camcorder, you know. Sony didn’t release them for another few years, but my dad—he got a prototype early.”

“Tony,” starts Pepper, and she’s not sure if she should touch him. He’s not crying, but he’s so wrapped up in his arms that it might take a crowbar to pry him free.

“Jarvis didn’t know how to work it, I don’t think. He was maybe seventy here… He grew up with radio, you know, not video cameras, so he laid it upside down—on top of the record button. He didn’t mean to record this. He wouldn’t have, I mean. He didn’t like cameras—Howard f*cking loved them.”

“Tony…”

His eyes are still on the screen. “We were taking home videos on it—supposed to be used for commercial ads, you know? I kept screwing around, f*cking up the video, and he…” He sniffs. “He used the charging cord. All the marks were under my shirt—couldn’t hit my face, you know? Would’ve ruined the ad. We ended up sending copies of the videos—the good takes, I mean—with our Christmas cards that year, whenever it was… Seventy-eight? Seventy-seven? Everyone loved them. Kept saying how adorable I looked in my f*cking suit and tie.”

She doesn’t say anything this time, and he takes a shuddering breath. She comes closer to Tony, scooting forward on her knees. Pepper puts one hand on his knee, the other on his shoulder, and he keeps talking.

He stares and stares at stares. “He didn’t get rid of the video—you know? You’d think he would but—I think—it didn’t matter if he was ashamed about what he did. It was the first commercial use of that camcorder, so of course Howard couldn’t bear to get rid of it. So I found it in the box with all the other test runs, like there was nothing…” He sniffs again. “Like there’s nothing wrong with it—like that’s a normal f*cking video for people to keep.”

At last, he looks at her, and he’s so shattered it scares her. His eyes are pinkened, but he does not cry. “Do you think,” he says, like he’s been working up the courage, “he ever loved me?”

Pepper feels small and stupid, like a child trying to learn her multiplication tables. He’s looking at her like she’s the world, yet she’s only a speck in it. “I think,” she answers, “he wasn’t as much of a father as he was a guardian. He remembered he loved you when it was convenient to him. But I do see a father in that clip, Tony. It just isn’t Howard.”

His face looks even sadder when he smiles. “Yeah,” he said. “I know.”

“Pepper.”

She looks up. Helen’s got that look again; she’s holding her tablet, stylus poised, waiting for a response. “What?”

“I said, are there any other symptoms you can tell me about?”

She shakes her head. “It’s really not much, Helen. Just some nausea and headaches. Nothing unusual.” It’s only the fact that it won’t go away that perturbs her.

“Any chest pain, stomach pain? Tenderness? Dizziness?”

“Nothing,” promises Pepper. “I’ll let you know if I do.”

“Well,” says Helen, “Could I take some blood? We could run some tests and see if anything’s up. Otherwise, it might just be stress, Pepper. And I can give you something for that, but…”

Pepper waves her hand in understanding. “It’s alright, Helen. Really, bloodwork’s fine, but Rhodey’s making a mountain out of a molehill.”

Helen asks her to meet her at the clinic tomorrow, and not to eat or drink anything, save a few exceptions, so that the blood is as untampered as possible. “You take on too much, Pepper,” she says before she goes. “Don’t put Tony on your scale, too.”

WEDNESDAY, MAY 9 — 11:54PM

Jim pulls into a hurricane of police lights and first responders, of gloved hands and wet grass, as Officer Paz waves him into a faux parking spot between some cedar trees. They’re far from their home in the city—in a small town called South Hero settled on Lake Champlain, which borders Vermont and New York. He can’t think of the last time he’s been to Vermont, and when he opens his car door, the air reeks of forest, so thick with maple and freshwater that he can barely smell the car exhaust.

“Jim,” says Officer Paz, her face shrouded in night. She looks grim as he and Maggie exit the car. “I need you to stay calm for this, understand? We haven’t found Cassie and we don’t know what this means yet. We’re just trying to stretch this lead as far as we can.”

Jim’s never felt this unhinged at a crime scene, so he understands exactly why she says it. He’s giving off all the wrong signals for a police officer—anxious, twitchy, and breathing hard—so he takes a tight breath. “Got it,” he says stiffly, and Maggie squeezes his arm a little harder.

They were both briefed on the situation on the car ride over. Some civilians out fishing in the lake caught her in their net and called the police. They’re still here—a man and his teenage son—sitting on a log a few feet from the pier. They’re speaking to each other, leaned in so close that their shadows overlap, and the man’s got his hand on his son’s back, rubbing as the boy ducks his head into the crook of his father’s neck. Jim’s chest hurts at the sight; he draws his hand over his own shoulder, as though he can feel the tickle of Cassie’s breath there.

According to the other officers, the woman didn’t have any identification on her, and she wasn’t local to South Hero: a small, white, farming town with a population the size of Cassie’s middle school.
Any biological evidence from the surface of her skin was washed away in the lakewater, but they did identify a hair on her as belonging to Cassie. “It’s a start,” Paz continues, as she leads them under a strip of yellow tape. She clears her throat. “But if you could identify her…that would be even better. The rapid-DNA test gives us general accuracy, but we can’t be sure until we wait for a more accurate test.”

They creep through the late-night mud, the red-and-blue lighting up the lakefront, until they reach the small fishing boat; beside it lies a woman’s corpse, sprawled out with eyes open. Her face is smashed in, so swollen that she’s impossible to recognize. Ratty brown hair frames her face, and her brown skin is wrinkled and sallow with water. She’s wearing only a gray T-shirt and a set of faded blue cut-offs, and she’s barefoot. “Anything?” Officer Paz prompts. On the lake, police boats creep through the water—searchlights ignite the surface in a blinding white.

Maggie shakes her head. Jim doesn’t recognize her either. But a new voice beside them inhales sharply. Hope Van Dyne stands beside them, flanked by a shorter officer; she’s staring open-mouthed at the corpse before them.

“That’s the…?” she starts, shaking her head. They haven’t seen Hope in a while, but she looks thoroughly cold; her hair barely touches her shoulders now, shorn in a clean line, and her makeup is thick and jarring. “I know her.”

Surprised, Paz takes out her notepad and pen. “How?”

“We…” Hope shakes her head again. “Me and Scott… We know her. We helped her with… It’s hard to explain.” Hope’s face is completely unreadable. “Her name’s Ava.”

MONDAY, MAY 14 — 8:59AM

I’m gonna die here.

It’s the briefest thought, but as soon as it floats through his mind, the truth of it starts to sink in.

So many have died in this bunker already, and not just Ava. From their cell, they’ve heard more than one person die. Barely a week into their abduction, one of the addicts—RJ was his name. Peter remembers that he had long hair—overdosed. They didn’t know what to do with his body, so they left him in the hallway until he started to smell. They ended up burying him outside. Renee, the red-haired woman, came back after their ceremony and cried in the cell beside them until it was time to take Peter out, and when he got back, someone had slid an expired package of candy corn through their food slot.

A banging on the door. Cassie startles awake. Over a month in this place has trained her well, as she knows that the knocking in the morning means she has to go under the bed and hide. The upper slot in the door, the one meant for a pair of eyes, slides open and Mateo peers through. “Against the wall, Parker.”

After four escape attempts, they know better than to come in without their guns drawn and Peter against the wall. His head still aches with every movement, and he’s dizzy enough that it takes him three tries to get up from his reclined position. He plants one hand on the ground, pulls himself onto both arms, and groans from the weight of his skull on his neck. His head. Charlie’s hammer really got him yesterday. Yesterday? No, it was right after their escape attempt… Which was what, a week ago? Cassie knows better than he does. He raises a hand to touch his head and collapses again, and when his head hits the concrete he lets out an audible whimper.

Now that he’s on the ground, he can see Cassie from under the bed—he can almost spot the whites of her eyes from here.

A warning bark from Mateo: “Parker!”

If he weren’t in so much pain, he’d respond with something stupid like, Sir, yes, sir, but right now he can hardly lift his own legs. “Coming,” he says, and the vibration of his voice hurts his head. He heals quickly, just not as quickly as usual, so it’s only the injuries from the past couple of weeks that bother him. The recent knife wound in his stomach wasn’t as bad as he thought—just a few slashes, shallow enough that he didn’t bother wasting their thread to sew it up. He’s lost a couple fingernails, too, which hurt like hell and require a lot of attention. The waterboarding was pretty bad, too—but at least it left no lasting marks. There’s some bruising on his bad leg, which he doesn’t mind so much because he still has one good leg left.

His head, though. His head. The pain of it is so bad that if he moves too fast he has to sit immediately or he’ll throw up.

He tries again: plant one hand, then the other, then reach for the railing of the bed—damn it! His hand misses the railing and hits the floor, so he’s back where he started.

The door opens, and the light from the hallway is far too bright. He winces, but he doesn’t have the strength to turn his head away, so he closes his eyes. Mateo and someone else walk in, and he hears the click of the safety. Someone put their gun away; if he was stronger, maybe he could use the moment to—

“Haroun, take it back out,” says Mateo.

“Look at him. He’s practically asleep.”

Peter opens his eyes again, wincing at the light, so Haroun kicks the door closed with his foot. “Not asleep,” says Peter.

They set up like usual, forcing Peter to lay flat on the bed. He’s on a constant rotation of sedation. Every morning, when Charlie and the addicts wake, he’s given a hefty dose of sedation fed through a vein in his inner arm by the tall, black guy—Matt or Mateo, they usually call him. It puts him straight into a state of nothing—a tingling wave of numb followed by another of nausea—he wants it so badly right now that the muscles in his legs tremble. Mateo sets his bag down beside Peter, and Haroun holds his arms still. They’ve moved on from syringe injections to an IV bag setup, simply because he is receiving so much sedation now that it’s a waste of needles and could kill him if they give it to him all at once, like it almost did the first time.

He still doesn’t like needles.

He doesn’t bother asking if they’re clean anymore—he doubts they have an unlimited supply. They look clean, but he can’t really tell. Not like he had a lot of experience with intravenous drugs before he was kidnapped. He always healed so fast—so medication wasn’t usually required, save antibiotics that he could take by mouth. The couple times sedation was required, they had to use leftover drugs from Steve Rogers’ medicine cabinet. Then, it was a matter of underdosing instead of overdosing.

When they first took him from that upside-down wreck of the car, they had to use multiple doses of the sleepy stuff to take him down. They kept him on high sedation for a couple days, even afterwards, until they understood his limits and felt they could control him properly. Then, he was on maybe three or four doses of Winter Soldier sedation to take him out, two after that, and then one once they knew how strong he was. He's been growing used to the drug, and once he’s clear enough he will try to escape, but each time he has failed. Once Mateo notices he’s a little more lucid, he ups the dosage. He’s now up to three doses to keep him ‘weak’—all delivered via IV bag so that Mateo doesn’t force an overdose by giving it all at once.

Mateo snaps on a pair of gloves and lifts Peter’s bruised arm. “Can I get some light, Haroun?” Haroun raises a smartphone and shines a white light; as Mateo ties a tourniquet around his upper arm, awaiting the appearance of a vein, Peter closes his eyes again. His body craves it; he has been growing used to it, more and more every day. As he gets his dose every morning, it’s in the late hours of the night and the early hours of the morning that he starts to feel his withdrawal. Sweats. Dry heaves. Hot flashes. It is during this time that his mind is clearest, and therefore it is when he formulates his great escape plans. “I’m going to count to three,” says Mateo.

“It might be a little uncomfortable,” adds Haroun, pinning his arm down still. “On three. One, two…”

Peter almost laughs at that.

They’ve tried to escape four times. The latest one he still struggles to remember. The first one, which is the clearest, they called Operation Falcon, because Peter could only convince Cassie to stick to the ceiling if she pretended she was flying. They’d forgotten to dose him, and he broke out after a full day without his sedatives, slamming through the door as soon as it was opened, dragging Cassie with him, and crawling on the ceiling with her in tow. What he didn’t take into account was how badly his battered body would fight him. With his busted knee, he dropped her, and she hit the ground hard. Once they had her, he stopped fighting. He couldn’t escape without her.

The second attempt: Operation Black Widow. Once his leg had healed enough, they stuck to the ceiling. Peter clung to the ceiling, and Cassie clung to him. Once a confused guard named Mason walked in, finding the room empty, he leaned over to look under the bed. Peter carefully lowered Cassie to the ground and took a strip of the bedsheet they’d torn off—pulling it around the man’s neck tight until he passed out. Cassie got his gun, and they made it all the way to the bunker door—but the door had a passcode which they didn’t have.

So they needed the passcode. The third attempt, sometime in the second week, they named Operation Captain America. Cassie hated this one, but Peter and she were running out of options. They identified a weak link—and, when they caught him, used him as a human shield, tried to get them to give up the code. Renee wouldn’t have it—when the guy leaned over, trying to get away, she shot him through the neck. Their leverage was gone, and the man, a forty-year-old with a hooked nose and a picture of his kid in his pocket, died there on the floor.

The sedative is coming through him now, and then pain in his head lessens to the point where he can finally open his eyes. Haroun looks up from the IV line. They’ve finished, IV bag hung on a metal pole. “What, no witty comebacks?”

Peter Parker has no room in his body for witty comebacks.“Thank you,” Peter breathes, and he feels the euphoria of no pain, no pain, no pain. The co*cktail of sedatives they give the Winter Soldiers includes a mild analgesic that washes over him like a cold glass of water, soothing his aching skull.

It’s not always bad. Sometimes Haroun will give them some painkillers or Riri will sneak them extra food. Once, one of the guards even brought them a tub of antibiotic ointment hidden in a set of new clothes (HYDRA captive garb, sure, but new clothes are new clothes). They’re mostly left alone—the door only opens if they’re causing trouble, if he needs more sedation, or if it’s time to take Peter away at seven. They have the freedom to try for some ongoing missions, like Operation Ant-Man: in each set of garbage they throw out, they hide tiny messages written on the garbage, and try to place some kind of DNA inside. Blood, hair, dead skin, fingernails… Operation Ant-Man has yet to be successful, but it’s one thing they can do every day to try to get free.

Haroun stares at him; he looks funny—amused, maybe—but Peter doesn’t have the energy to read his face. “You okay, Parker?”

Peter smiles at the ceiling. “Yeah,” he says. Numb, his head swirls, and for a moment he can’t remember where Ava has gone. She’s usually the one to help Mateo with the sedation process. He opens his mouth to ask, but he’s much too tired.

Under the bed, he hears Cassie whisper to herself: “Iron Man, Iron Man, Iron Man.”

Aunt May wasn’t pissed that they hadn’t told her, but amazed that they had kept the secret for so long. “You thought you’d never get caught?” she had said. “By me? Ha! That’s some bullsh*t—I’m smarter than you think, Peter.”

So she didn’t ground him; instead, she borrowed an entire stack of books from the nearby library (she always claims Wikipedia is a scam, and that books are the only real way to learn) and is now reading thoroughly through each to learn more about the extent of his powers. “So,” she says, “spiders have incredibly sensitive nervous systems. They have these things called trichobothria—little hairs—all over their body.”

“Don’t humans have those, too?” asks Ned.

May crumples a piece of paper and throws it at Ned’s head. “Go back to your Wikipedia page, Ned. As I was saying, with the little hairs they can detect lots of micro-movements, and because of their hypersensitive nervous system—are not like humans. They can tell motion made by a fly in mid-air, or dust moving below them. They don’t have to be touching it to know—that might be your—well—tingle."

“The Peter-tingle,” adds Ned, proud.

Aunt May stares at him for a second before absolutely losing her sh*t. She laughs so hard that the book falls off of her lap, cackling until she is wheezing and red in the face. “The Peter-tingle!” she cries, just about dying from laughter. “The smartest kids of your generation right here—and the best you could come up with was Peter-tingle!”

They read through the rest of the books while listening to Imagine Dragons, which, according to Ned, was originally inspired by Spider-Man. “They were big fans,” he claims. “They wanted to make a musical about you and everything.”

May asks Peter to tell him more about his powers, particularly about his climbing and sticking abilities. They manage to narrow down which ones of his powers seem to be from actual spiders, as well as which seem to be from the experimentation on the spider itself. From the spiders came exceptional night vision, strange visual acuity, incredible strength and speed, and the ability to climb, even upside down. Otherwise, he got agility and a high metabolism adjusted to his new abilities.

“Here it is!” says Ned. “Scopulae. Or, setae?” He explains that spiders have microscopic hairs all over their body that allows them to grip moisture on the surfaces they walk on. “That’s probably what helps you stick.”

At first, he’d thought that he could only stick with his feet and palms—but May insisted on finding out more. “What am I supposed to do?” protested Peter. “I can’t stick if I’m wearing shoes or, like, gloves. That’s all we need to know.”

“But some spiders have those little hairs all over their bodies—maybe you do, too. Do you think if you were naked—”

He blushed. “May!”

“What? This is important!” They discover that he can stick to surfaces with any part of his body, as long as the skin is bare or the fabric is skintight. But still, the hairs only stiffen to grip surfaces when he wants it to. May comments that it looks like he’s taking on characteristics of spiders more than he is becoming one. They discover the spider that bit him, even—the noble false widow—and realize that its coloring affected him, too. He had some discoloration in his skin that matched the noble false widow—so faint it was difficult to tell unless you were really close, a rusty red color like his calves had been dipped in tomato juice. “I hadn’t even noticed,” said Peter.

May lowered the book she was reading onto her lap. “Peter—you should really pay more attention to your body. You’re going through, like, a second puberty, honey. You gotta be more aware.”

They read and read and read until the night comes, and May makes herself coffee and hot chocolate for the two of them. When Peter complains that it doesn't even matter if he has caffeine because his metabolism won't let it affect him, she gives him a look and tells him, like usual, that he's still too young.

“Are you venomous?” asks Ned suddenly, excited. He half-closes his laptop to look at his best friend.

Peter had never thought about it, but most spiders were venomous, weren’t they? He touches his teeth and smiles sheepishly. “I don’t think so.”

“Try! Bite me.” His best friend offers his arm. “Here! Bite me!”

“I’m not going to bite you, Ned.”

He looks visibly disappointed. “Well, maybe if you think about biting someone the fangs will come… like a vampire! Think about biting?”

While feeling utterly stupid, Peter does his best to think about becoming New York City’s newest Edward Cullen. He bares his teeth. “Eh?” he says, mouth still open.

So, no venom. But they did discover, like some spiders, that he could hold up to a hundred and fifty times his weight, and that the substance on his hands had a purpose. A sticky substance that appeared to his hands at will. Peter thought, originally, that it was a failed spider-power, that maybe it was supposed to be a spinneret or a spigot, but with May’s research, they discovered that some spiders had a series of widened pores instead of spigots. Some had a cribellum, which contained dozens of thousands of spigots, all of which produced a thin fiber. So maybe that’s what he had.

The pores at his wrist and hands did seem to become visible when he willed the stickiness to come to him. “It’s not a real web, though,” said Peter.

“Maybe it just takes time,” says May, with a kiss to his head as she passed him with a cup of coffee, “and then you could create your own webs.” They spread from the base of his wrist over his palm to his fingertips. They were by no means a web shooter, but they were something. To Peter, that meant that it was proof—proof that this spider, whatever it was, was imperfect, and that the transfer of its power to him was imperfect as well.

May disagreed. “Come here, guys,” she said, settled on the couch. “Ned, stop looking at Wikipedia.”

“It’s up to date!” he protested. “And faster!”

“It’s convenient,” she said. “And you’re gonna fry your brain. Get your butt over here.” Once they sat on either side of her, she pointed at the page of her book. “This one says that the zebra tarantula, here, doesn’t have spinnerets. It just has silk producers on its feet.”

“Like me,” says Peter.

“Yes, like you.”

“But I didn’t get bit by this one.”

She smiles, and for the first time that night Peter feels hopeful about his powers. “See, that’s the funny thing.” May closes the first book and opens a second, one about the origins of arachnids. “These guys say that the zebra tarantula didn’t evolve as far as modern spiders. Original spiders didn’t make webs, but used their sticky feet to help them climb. Later, their silk-producers evolved into spinnerets, which they used to make webs and catch prey.”

Ned is staring open-mouthed at the book; Peter is staring at his hands. He wills something sticky into his hands, and feels the swell of the substance at his disposal. “So, I’m just…”

“…the original spider,” finishes Ned. “Dude, that’s so freaking cool.”

May continues, “So the silk comes from your hands—that’s what it’s supposed to do. These spiders even leave footprints of their silk on surfaces—all to avoid falling and enable them to climb anything. It’ll help you stick to things, or do anything else, I guess."

Peter finds himself teary at her memory.

When May said anything else, Peter didn’t suppose she meant what he was doing now: putting layers of the silky substance over his wounds and Cassie’s to help keep their injuries clean and safe. It wasn’t thick enough to stop significant blood-flow, but it could close wounds, stick bandages to skin, and assist stitches. It surely doesn’t help with his more drastic injuries, like his knee. It’s still so messed up from that first day; it never healed correctly, so shards of smashed kneecap healed among f*cked ligaments and tendons. He doesn’t remember what exact ligament the front one is; MJ was always better at anatomy than he was. He can barely straighten his knee—when he walks, he staggers, doing his best to put no weight on it. Charlie’s hammer (or Mason’s hammer? Who had it originally?) took out his knee and his ability to walk properly. It’s smashed to uselessness, much like Cassie’s finger. Charlie’s punishment, he thinks, was less focused on pain and more focused on permanent damage.

Charlie…

As soon as he’s well enough, he’s going to strangle Charlie with his bare hands.

He thinks about killing the man so much that the thought alone has become soothing. He thinks about killing Charlie more than he thinks about escaping.

Peter thinks of taking those pills he loves so much and shoving them down his throat until he chokes, of slapping a hand over his mouth and pinching his nose shut and forcing him to swallow until foam bubbles at the corner of his mouth and his twitching body goes limp. He thinks of slipping him a needle full of sedatives, of grabbing him by the hair and stabbing—with one of those black-handled knives, maybe—once through his cheek, and another through each arm, and finally through each wide eye.

Peter thinks of grabbing him by the throat and pressing his thumbs into his windpipe until he shuts the f*ck up, of pressing and pressing until his words die out into a faint wheeze, of watching as he struggles beneath him, rasping for air. He thinks of watching those wide eyes go blank and roll up into the back of his head, of watching his bearded chin tilt back, limp.

Peter thinks of the hammer—that f*cking hammer—and grasping it with both hands like Thor. Lifting. Wielding. Standing. And, with a wide grin, swinging the hammer from side to side. Circling the man, brushing his fingers and feet and the side of his sweating face with the heavy hammer. Saying something like didn’t you remember the rules? or stay still, little freak or you’ll do exactly as I say, or I’ll take out Parker’s other leg—

He feels suddenly sick.

“Toilet,” he gasps, bile bubbling in his throat, and Cassie scrambles to her feet, grabbing his good arm and pulling, yet he feels heavy. He manages to get both palms on the floor and crawls forward. he doesn’t make it. He collapses on one side and coughs; out of him spouts of flow of sick—mostly water. He's had trouble keeping down anything at all for the past couple days.

He thinks back to May. He tries not to think too much about her; doing so only results in him fretting over the last memory he has of her—a memory that he can hardly remember save for the blood. It happened over a month ago, and still all he can remember now is the fact that she was bleeding, unconscious, and upside down. There was blood, so much blood—but he can’t remember for the life of him where it was coming from. Her head, neck, stomach, chest?They must’ve been driving—right? But what happened after… Did she get herself free? Did Peter get her free? Did she wake up at all?

Did Peter even bother to check if she was still alive? Did he call the police?

Did she die that night?

He misses his phone—oh, God, does he miss his phone. May would laugh now if she heard him say it. She’s always complaining about how much time he spends on his phone. He and Cassie created a little game where they take these rectangular pieces of cardboard, pasted together, and pretend to talk to each other on the phone. They used to sit on other sides of the room and play; now, Peter barely moves from the toilet to the bed, so Cassie moves wherever she feels as far enough to pretend that they are in different places. She’ll shout, “I’m texting you a poop emoji!” and giggle maniacally to herself. Cassie didn’t have a lot of access to phones before she was taken, so most of their phone games involve her pretending to call people.

If May had lived…wouldn’t she be looking for him? Did his friends know he was missing? They had to by now, didn’t they? Maybe they’d forgotten him. But how hard could it be to look for them? His backpack had his suit, and his suit had his tracker, and if only he could find his backpack, then Tony could come find them…

A small voice. “Peter,” says Cassie. She is kneeled beside him on the floor, eyes wide in the dim light. “You’re doing it again.”

“Doing what?” he asks, and he remembers that his mouth still tastes of vomit.

The little girl in front of him looks so weary. Her hair is dark and unwashed, oily and sticky and reeking slightly of dirt and dried blood. “You’re being weird,” she says. “I don’t like it.”

He tries to smile at her, but his vision is getting spotty and he has trouble focusing. Her figure wavers in front of him—he can’t tell if he’s moving or she is. If he could hold her now, he would; instead, he tips his head up, to find her and feels a shock of such pain in his head that vomits again, coughing up water, water, water—

MONDAY, MAY 14 — 12:56PM

Tony has spent years working with arc technology. He created a new element, even, that came close to replicating the Tesseract’s power.

But science and magic, no matter what Thor likes to claim, are not the same. There is no way for Tony to create that kind of power. The kind of power that can disintegrate people at close-range without repercussions for those around them. Surely someone who wants a weapon with such strength understands that a power that can do much more?

Close-range disintegration without radiation required something like the strength of a missile, all condensed into a single shot, confined by the boundaries of its target.

It’s impossible.

And yet it’s hard to believe that these people even want a weapon. It seems to Tony that they want a power source, something rivaling the Tesseract—something safe enough that it can be mass-produced into handheld weaponry, yet strong enough that the one who wields it has immense power. Through him, they are fast-tracking Project PEGASUS: to use the Tesseract (or something similar, like Tony’s arc technology, which was much more accessible) to create a near-unlimited energy source. Tony generally considers Project PEGASUS completed the moment he completed his arc reactor, but these people… They want something more than sustainable energy. They want power. War. Devastation. All able to be held in the palm of someone’s hand.

He needs time to think.

How can he create this kind of power for Charlie and his band of merry men? He doesn’t have access to magical resources, at least not from inside the lab, so what kind of scientific adjustments could he add that would allow for this alternative power source? There’s nothing wrong with the gun—it’s the power that needs changing. He’s tried many forms of the gun, all to supplement the power of his arc technology with explosives and complementary power sources. None of them have worked thus far. They aren’t powerful enough, or they aren’t limited enough, or they just don’t f*cking work.

He’s tried everything. He has to alter the arc reactor somehow. Strengthen it. Then he can save Peter and go back to Pepper and tell her she’s sorry and take Peter to the medbay and get him fixed up and finally, finally, be free.

Beside him, Dum-E taps at his arm, holding a glass of water. He knows how often Tony should eat and drink, even if Tony doesn’t know what time it is or the last time he ate something. He gets enough nutrition, usually, when he remembers to eat and listens to Dum-E’s instructions, but he knows he’s not sleeping enough. He can’t sleep—how can he rest when Peter is in such pain?

It is as though Tony is already buried, and Charlie is dancing upon his grave; there is not a moment where Tony may calm, knowing that every day Peter suffers because of his shortcomings.

He has to figure this out. He has to find a way to warp the element he has (what he likes to call Badassium, or the New Element) and turn it into something weaponizable. How did HYDRA do it? Does he need a new element altogether?

He’s not sleeping enough—or too much, maybe. How much did he sleep last night? Did he sleep at all? He needs more time—lots more time. Peter will never be free at this rate. The next time Riri comes, he will ask for more supplies. Not for the gun, but to solve his other problem: the problem of time.

He’d overseen a study of the chemical Orexin-A back in 2007, before Iron Man was even a thought in his head, of a group of rhesus monkeys who were kept awake for periods of thirty to thirty-six hours, and, given one microgram per kilogram—roughly seven and a half micrograms per monkey. When deprived of sleep and given dosages of Orexin-A through injections and nasal spray, they performed better on cognitive tests. The drug seemed to reverse some of the effects of sleep deprivation and improve cognition to that of someone with a full night’s rest. They passed their sleep-focused PET scans and acted, well, normal.

That’s what he needs. He needs to stop wasting time sleeping and start working on weaponizing the New Element. He theorized a chemical process ages ago that could allow for someone to use Orexin-A to keep themselves awake, but it had never seemed important enough. He pulls up his old plans and considers its ingredients. He needs Modafinil, maybe Orexin-A, some stimulants… All could create something fit for humans, something that could create the outcome that the rhesus monkeys experienced. Something that could keep him awake consistently enough to make Charlie's weapon. Peter's weapon.

He asks Dum-E for a piece of paper and the robot just wiggles the glass of water in his hand. “Fine…you…f*cking…” He grabs for the glass of water his hands shake with its weight, so much so that he has to use both hands to drink. Dum-E watches him drink, and when he’s finished, hands him an unopened can of beans. “You gotta do it for me, buddy,” he says, handing it back. “Got the can opener?”

Dum-E does not have the can opener. He swivels around, looking for it, and skirts across the room like a man on a mission. Tony remembers, vaguely, helping his father build Dum-E in his lab. When his father was gone, he’d program the robot with more human qualities: looking around when scanning the room, tilting in confusion, nodding…

“And heat it up, okay?”

From across the room, Dum-E whirs in response.

Tony maps out the structure for his prospective sleep-replacement chemical. Eventually, Dum-E sets the steaming can of beans on his table with a spoon, and he takes occasional bites as he works. In the corner, his robot U moves back and forth between a possible power source and a weapon, testing as Tony told it to. Beside him, Dum-E awaits further instruction. “Think it’s a bad idea…huh, Dum-E?”

Dum-E tilts its arm and clicks lightly.

Peter would tell him it’s a terrible idea. “You need to sleep, Mr. Stark,” he would say. “May says eight hours at least.”

Tony would laugh and say, “You’re one to talk, sneaking out every hour of the night to respond to police scanners.”

“I won’t ignore people when they need me,” Peter would say, or something equally as earnest.

With his new drug, he could get—instead of a fitful four-sih hours of sleep each night—even less than that, all while feeling well-rested and being able to properly focus on Peter.

Peter…

He wonders what the kid’s doing now. He doesn’t ever see what happens once they drag him away, but sometimes he looks cleaner, so they must be washing him. A couple times his clothes have changed, usually when the old ones get too tattered to stay on his body. He’s gotten thinner and thinner from what Tony can see, and he’s stopped talking during the seven o’clock sessions. He just sits there, letting out the occasional plead, but mostly he screams and cries and waits for it to be over.

The other night, when Peter was dragged onto the screen, he didn’t start to fight right away. He sat quietly, and he let them lock him into the chair by each wrist and each ankle, and again around his upper torso, all without a fight. It’s not until the ringing starts—the ringing of the phone—that Peter finally starts to move, twisting his arms and legs in their restraints, pulling his chest against the vibranium. And when Tony finally picked up, he flinched. “Wait,” he said, turning his neck to Charlie and away again. “Wait, please—”

When Tony’s voice came through, it was like he was being tortured already. “No!” he screamed. “Wait, no, nonono, just one more minute, one more, one—I’m not ready—”

“Shut— shut up!” Charlie snapped. “So f*cking annoying… Talk again, Parker, and I’ll get out my hammer! You want that, huh? Is that what you want?”

Peter didn’t answer; he tugged at his bindings, his breathing molting to whimpers, his teeth bared, neck taut, trying his best to get away from Charlie.

“I’ll take out that other leg of yours—how will you be Spidey then, Parker? I’ll make you like Scott here—f*cking useless—take you out completely!”

Peter is so quiet these days. He never protests but to ask for more time. He has stopped trying to communicate with Tony, stopped making jabs at Charlie and his crew, and stopped fighting almost entirely.

He’s stopped thinking that Tony will save him.

Tony is going to do everything in his power to let the kid know otherwise.

MONDAY, MAY 14 — 2:30 PM

Hope’s on her third cup of coffee; Maggie is sipping at a cup of green tea, now long cold.

It’s been a few days since they located Ava Starr’s body, and a few more for processing forensic evidence. Today, they were called back in by Officer Paz.

They’ve graduated past interrogation rooms, supposes Maggie, because they are settled in what looks like a break room. Instead of a metallic table and chairs with links for handcuffs, their room is adorned with throw pillows and a coffee table. Jim’s gone to the bathroom, but he hasn’t been back for a half-hour at least. “You know,” says Hope, “the last time I saw Scott, back in April?” She sniffs. She’s incredibly composed, but her hands give her away. As she tries to apply another coat of scarlet lipstick, her hands jitter, enough that she has to set the tube back down before adding any real color. “I told him I never wanted to see him again. I didn’t text, I didn’t call… Not until what happened to Cassie. I wanted him to really feel how pissed I was.” She takes a deep, slow breath, and then exhales through her nose. “If I’d just called, if I’d just texted him once, then maybe…”

Almost automatically, Maggie shakes her head. “It would’ve happened no matter how many times you called, Hope. They took my Cassie in broad daylight. It would’ve just meant putting you in danger, too.”

Hope runs her tongue over the edge of her teeth, and she picks up her cup as though the coffee will warm her. “Well,” she says, “either way. I wish I’d said something different.”

“One fight won’t make him forget,’ says Maggie.

“Sure,” says Hope, sounding entirely the opposite.

They sit in silence, save the occasional sip or cough. Maggie doesn’t want to think it, but she can’t remember the last thing she said to Cassie. She hopes it was something good.

When Officer Paz finally enters, she is holding two cups of coffee, one of which she tips back with a swallow and tosses in the nearest trash-can. The officer looks as though she’s just woken up. “Mrs. Paxton,” she says first, with a tired nod. “Mr. Paxton. Ms. Van Dyne.” Behind her, Jim emerges, his face creased into a deep grimace.

Both Hope and Maggie make various greetings, and Maggie’s husband settles on the couch beside her as Paz sits across from them in an upholstered armchair. “The autopsy came back this morning—the cause of death was blunt force trauma to the head.” She passes a folder across the table and opens it wide to a photo of a waterlogged woman’s corpse. Ava Starr. Beneath it is a form, stamped and signed, with REPORT OF POST MORTEM EXAMINATION at the top, which Paz separates from the photo and taps with her fingernail.

JURISDICTION: Grand Isle County

NAME OF DECEASED: Starr, Ava Catherine

AGE: 24 yrs RACE: Black SEX: F

RESIDENCE OF DECEASED: N/A

DATE OF INCIDENT: May 9, 2018 TIME OF INCIDENT: 5:00p

PRONOUNCED DEATH: 5:30p

EXAMINATION: Champlain Islands Health Center

Maggie scans the rest of the form. Most information about her is unknown—marital status, children, medical history… “She was killed,” says Officer Paz. “The medical examiner determined it was murder.”

There it is:

CAUSE OF DEATH: Blunt Force Injury to Head

MANNER OF DEATH: Homicide

A paragraph full of descriptions—body hair, odors, hygiene, dental exam—is paperclipped to the autopsy report. “She had high levels of opiates in her system,” continues the officer, “but nowhere near enough to kill her. Analysis of her hair showed she was a long-time abuser of opiates, benzos, you name it. Her body,” she says with a pointed look at Maggie, “did not show any signs of sexual trauma. Only physical. There’s bruising showing what looks like male fists, maybe shoes, and blunt injury from something heavy that left flakes of rusted copper. Probably a pipe.”

“So,” says Jim, “she was dead before the lake?”

Paz nods. “She died on her back—livor mortis had already started by the time she went in the lake, although it does look like her body was moved a lot in the first couple hours after she died.”

“Livor mortis?” echoes Hope.

“The blood,” she clarifies, “settling in the body.”

“But no…” Both hands clasped together, Maggie swallows before asking her question. “No…sexual…”

For once, Paz looks relieved. “No, Mrs. Paxton. No sexual trauma. No traces of sperm or external pubic hair on the body. It looked normal.”

Relieved, if just slightly, Maggie sits back. Jim rubs her back, and she tips her head into his shoulder. He feels strange beside her, stiff. She thinks it must be strange for him: to sit on the other side of the table. He’s still focused on the autopsy report. “And the hair? Cassie’s…hair?”

Before she speaks, Paz takes a generous sip of coffee—hazelnut, maybe. “We received confirmation early this morning. It’s her hair. It’s definitely hers.”

Jim’s hand pauses on her back. “You’re sure?” When Cassie had first been taken, they provided the police with everything they could—partial fingerprints from her bedroom, her recently used toothbrush, her hairbrush—so forensics had enough hair to compare to the one they found on Ava’s body.

Paz nods. “An exact match.” She passes forth another paper to their side of the coffee table; this one bears their daughter’s name. On it, bar graphs of different colors, all bearing a series of letters and numbers that Maggie doesn’t quite understand.“The hair was found in Ava’s pocket, inside of a fast-food wrapper—McDonald’s.”

“And you checked—” starts Jim.

“Yes,” clarifies Paz, and she takes another drink of coffee. “There are twenty-nine McDonald’s in the state of Vermont—and we have officers talking to each one of them as we speak.” She raises her phone. “So far, nothing.”

Cassie hates McDonald’s, thinks Maggie, as her husband frowns. They didn’t usually go, just for that reason. Whenever Maggie brought some back home, when neither she nor Jim could cook, Cassie would wrinkle her nose and pretend to gag. Gross, Mommy! she’d cry, poking at the nuggets. For a moment, Maggie can’t pull Cassie’s disgusted expression to her mind, and she panics, fumbling for her phone to click on her home screen. At the sight of her daughter’s face under the time and date, she calms.

“The problem with Ava Starr is that she is not just an addict. That would make this case a hell of a lot easier.” She brings forth another sheet of paper. “She worked with SHIELD until she disappeared in 2014, when she turned eighteen. Since then, she reappeared in 2017 and killed an FBI agent—alongside robbery, trespassing, battery, whatever else you can think of, before she disappeared again.”

Hope looks as though she will be sick.

“With information we’ve gotten from Hope and her father, we contacted SHIELD to” —she opens her phone and taps lightly before turning it off— “provide us with more background information about Ava Starr.” Now, perhaps answering Paz’s text, Woo enters the break room holding a thick navy folder, and he smiles, close-lipped, at the three on the couch.

He has them sign forms before he starts talking. They’re not non-disclosure agreements, but they might as well be. He then explains that he has worked formerly with SHIELD and re-obtained the proper clearance in order to provide information about Starr’s case. Agent Woo clears his throat. “Using the information Hope gave us, we were able to recover her identity and gather more information about her. Her name is Ava Catherine Starr, as you know—she was born in Argentina, where her father worked for SHIELD with Hank Pym. In one of her father’s failed experiments, both her parents died and in a blast of quantum energy…” Agent Julian opens the folder and points at a new photo, this one of the woman disguised in a gray suit and matching mask. He talks about Ava Starr for far too long—he’s in the middle of talking about her molecular intangibility and her ability to move through materials when Maggie finally interrupts him. “...phase in and out of solid materials, a power that caused her extreme pain.”

Maggie sniffs, clears her throat, and draws her cardigan around her shoulders. “What does this have to do with Cassie?”

Woo’s nostrils flare. “Mrs. Paxton—”

“No, I’m serious,” she snaps. “We’re sitting around here talking about this girl who is long dead while you could be out trying to find my daughter!

The man shifts uncomfortably. “We are doing everything we can to locate your daughter, Mrs. Paxton. There are officers in the field right now trying to track down where they found this woman’s body. But right now, our best lead will be anything you can possibly recognize in Ms. Starr’s history.”

Maggie’s clearly still hating the fact that she can’t be doing more, but she settles for a tight nod.

“Whatever we can do,” Jim adds. He rubs his hand over Maggie’s back. He’s felt so useless in these past few weeks, so at least going through Ava Starr’s profile will help him feel like he’s helping Cassie. If Cassie’s still… still…

Jim swallows.

“Good,” says Agent Woo. “Let’s continue, then.”

Because of her fractured relationship with Hank Pym, she somehow also knew Hope and Scott, and had some bad blood with Scott before Janet Van Dyne, Hope’s mother, temporarily healed Ava’s disease with some quantum machine.

She went on the run with Bill Foster, her pseudo-father, and immediately afterward kept in touch with Janet. The fix provided a physical solution for her body, and kept her molecularly stable but didn’t fix her chronic pain. She came back to New York after a week and raided the Van Dyne house for painkillers, quickly going down a route of drug abuse until she was nearly unrecognizable, according to Hope. About a month after her fight with SHIELD (and her murder of the FBI agent), in about August of 2017, Ava Starr dropped off the map. SHIELD, knowing she succumbed to drug abuse and, without her powers, was no longer of use as a field agent, considered her no longer a threat.

SHIELD apparently had some trouble locating Bill Foster, who is still a fugitive for abetting Starr’s crimes, but did get enough information from Hank Pym and Hope to understand exactly what had happened. “Toxicology reports on Starr’s hair,” says Woo, “confirms long-term drug abuse, of mostly opioids, up until the day she died.”

Maggie’s going to scream. These people have barely even mentioned Cassie for the past twenty minutes.

Woo, sensing her discomfort, echoes her unasked question. “So—what does this mean for Cassie? Well, the strange thing is that Ava Starr had an entirely different array of drug use in her system. Starr had opioids and benzos, morphine and any pain medication you can think of. It makes sense, with her history. But when we analyzed Cassie’s hair…” He points at Cassie's toxicology report. “We had Forensics go over the hair that we found of Cassie’s,” she says. “And we have some good and some bad news.”

Jim and Maggie exchange looks.

In front of the officer, there’s a photo of what must be Cassie’s hair, but blown larger; Woo points. “The good news is it looks like she’s still alive. Hair from a dead person has a marker we call post-mortem banding. You can see it here” —he places the hair toxicology report from Ava Starr’s file beside it— “on this strand of hair, taken from Starr’s head the day after she was found. That dark spot, there.” On Ava’s hair, there is a blackened stretch near the root; on Cassie’s hair, there is no spot. “Her hair also hasn’t been bleached or colored. She’s also staying hydrated but she is malnourished—you can see the differences here.” He puts out another toxicology report, this one, says Officer Paz, of Cassie’s hair from before her abduction. “The hair is much more brittle, it’s slightly thinner, and a little lighter. “That probably explains why it was in Ava’s pocket in the first place. Because of her malnutrition, her hair is much more prone to breakage and falling out from the root.

“The reports also can tell us what kind of drugs were in her system, like Ava Starr. The Vermont forensic team” —another paper from the folder— “and our forensic team” —and another paper— “ found some high levels of propofol, hyoscine, and methylphenidate. Strangely high levels of thiopental, but only from about three separate instances. That may have been what they dosed her with to move her. This…isn’t good. It looks like she’s been…dosed with these drugs a significant amount over the time she’s been gone, significant enough that if you get her back, she may struggle with some withdrawal. Propofol could be used as an anesthetic to keep her still, but with a combination of a stimulant and hyoscine… It could be painful, but we’re not sure the exact purpose.” He scratches his head. “The drug use is increasing. Each time, it’s a higher dose. We can also tell the amount she’s been sweating, which is a lot—and definitely more than a child should be, unless she is highly active or really nervous. The report won’t tell us why. Hair toxicology reports are useful for frequency like this, but we can’t tell you any exact dates, just general timelines.”

Withdrawal. Highly active. Nervous. Maggie’s struggling to take all of the information in; beside her, Jim is stiff, his arms folded at his chest. “And the…drugs…” she starts.

Woo nods. “There was no overlap between the drugs found in Ava’s system and the one’s found in Cassie’s. This…co*cktail of drugs in her system is confusing. It doesn’t look like drug trafficking. We could be looking at drug dosage related to sex trafficking, but even the kinds of drugs we're seeing here would be unusual.”

“I don’t understand,” says Maggie. Her heart clenches painfully. “What’s the good news?”

Agent Woo looks her in the eyes; his gaze is warm. “The good news is that she’s probably still alive, after all this time.”

“Probably,” echoes Maggie, a choked word.

Paz looks away. “We can’t be sure, Mrs. Paxton,” she says. “but there are a lot of good signs here. If she’s alive, her hair color is still the same, at least from what we can see from the one strand, so we can still expect her to look the same, and the hair is longer than when we last saw her, which means she’s been alive a while. What's important to remember is that she was alive at the time the hair was removed from her head, which, if it was right before Starr died, means she was last alive sometime last night.”

Probably. Probably. Probably.

Jim’s arms are tightly wound against his chest. “So what do you think happened?” he asks.

Woo blinks. “What?”

“What,” repeats her husband, “do you think? Happened to Cassie?”

Agent Woo swipes his hand over the back of his neck. Is he…sweating? “Julia?”

With her dull, tired eyes, Officer Paz sighs and sets a final photo out onto the table in front of them: Scott Lang’s mugshot. “Listen to me. Maggie. Jim. Of the kids that go missing in the US, ninety percent of them are abducted by one of their parents. Less than one percent of kids actually get abducted by strangers, and your ex-husband has a record. Even worse than that, according to Hope, he had an…unpleasant relationship with Ava Starr. Lang’s the only one that has both motive to kill Ava and to abduct Cassie.”

Neither Jim nor Maggie says something to Scott’s defense; with barely a swish of her black hair, Hope gets up, grabs her jacket, and walks out of the room. Paz nods at her, and Woo follows her, shuffling after her clicking heels, calling out, “Ms. Van Dyne! Ms. Van Dyne!” until the door closes behind him.

Paz continues, “My guess is he hired the people who took her, staged an argument with Hope and an accident for himself at his friend’s place, and found somewhere to hide. This wouldn’t be the first time that’s happened. There’s been no ransom, no photos of Cassie on the Internet, no signs of drug trafficking in her hair sample, and she’s still alive.”

“But the drugs,” says Maggie. “He… Someone drugged her. Someone’s still drugging her. Scott wouldn’t do that.”

Paz sighs. “I’m just telling you the odds. And Scott’s done time, so it would stand to reason that he knows dealers. He might be drugging her to keep her from running away, or when he moves her from one place to another… I don’t know. But this could be good, because Scott cares about her. This means she’s probably still out there.”

All Maggie can think is: Probably.

MONDAY, MAY 14 — 9:04PM

The Parker kid won’t wake up.

Riri and Haroun are playing cards in the bunker break room when Cassie starts screaming. “Peter!” she cries. “Peter! Peter! Peter!

Upon hearing her, Haroun takes another pill from the orange canister and crushes it on the table. “Your turn, Riri,” he says. He crushes and crushes and lines it up.

Riri hums and tries to ignore the little girl; in one move, Haroun snorts up the pill. “Got any eights?” she asks.

Haroun wipes his nose and shakes his head. “Go fish.”

Another scream, followed by a series of wails. “Peter, wake up! Wake up!” Riri glances up from her cards, looks to the door, and then meets Haroun’s eyes. “No, no, no! No, no, Peter, Peter…” He shuffles through his cards, sorting.

“Haroun,” says Riri.

He snaps, “Go fish.”

Far away, a little girl shrieks: “Peter, Peter, please! Peter!” Fists on the door. “Help! Help! Ava, Ava, Ava, help! Peter! Peter! Wake up!”

Haroun doesn’t move at the sound of his friend’s name; Riri has yet to pick up a card. “Haroun!”

Haroun looks pissed; his pills haven’t kicked in yet. “Fine—fine!” He scoots up from the table, sending his chair skittering back, and storms out of the break room. Down the hall, Cassie is crying Peter’s name. “Get away from the door!” he shouts, and they can hear the girl scamper away. Haroun has the key—it must be his turn—so he unlocks the door, throwing it open with his gun ready.

She can’t see inside, but Haroun rushes in, saying, “Ah, sh*t!”

Riri pulls out the handgun she has tucked in her pants. She knows better than to enter their cell unarmed.

She’s ready.

Notes:

i'm really glad i could update again for you guys. sorry for the wait. i've got my mojo back and am gonna keep up best i can.

yes, there's some hand-wavey science sh*t in here, so my apologies, i'm no chemical engineer. also, i know the timeline for mcu stuff can be weird, but just assume that this is after every movie up until ant-man and the wasp. plz don't look too deeply into the timeline. cassie is two years younger than she is supposed to be and peter is a year younger, so just don't worry about it. don't i wish mcu timelines made sense. although hope and scott meet ava in 2018, it makes more sense for them to have met her in 2017 so she can disappear for a while. don't worry about it.

see, the funny part is i got all that spider stuff from wikipedia—so ned knows what the hell he's talking about hahaha

plz let me know your thoughts! what you want to see coming up in this story! about any typos u see or also, if there's any other triggers you want me to tag—plz let me know, and i will. thanks for sticking thru with me <3

Chapter 6: hand grips hand

Summary:

“Peter? Peter? Can you hear me?” The doctor passes a light over his eyes, and the kid winces, shutting his eyes. “Keep your eyes open for me, okay?” Peter can’t move his head because he’s strapped down, so he can’t prevent the doctor from pulling his eyelids open to keep him from blinking.

The flash of light causes obvious pain, but the doctor does it again to the other eye. “Hm,” he says again. “Peter, can you look at the light?” He shines the light above his head, and then slightly to the left, then to the right.

Parker is still confused, and he’s starting to pull against his restraints, his hands turning to fists and his one not-numbed leg kicking out. There are so many straps holding him down that he barely moves, but he keeps twisting and twisting and twisting, a sound exiting his body in a low whine. “Wait,” he gasps, “please, wait, please…”

Notes:

chap title from 'breezeblocks' by alt-j

CW: violence, injury, head wounds, surgery, non-consensual drug use, self-harm if you squint, blood, kidnapping.

this is a special little chapter—only one POV this time, have fun.

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

MONDAY, MAY 14 — 9:06 PM

Riri forgets how small the cell is until she walks inside.

It can’t be more than ten feet wide, and maybe six feet deep—in the far right corner is a concrete bed structure which exists more as a table because it’s missing a mattress. She remembers now, briefly, that Renee shredded their mattress in front of them after one of their escape attempts. On the bed, there is a dirty pillow, no sheets (stripped from the kids after another escape attempt), and a tarp-like blanket. In the far left corner, a toilet, and in the near left, a sink. Both are grimy and stink of piss. And in the near right, a bucket, filled with things: McDonald’s toys, mostly.

Beside the little girl, Parker is curled on his side in the three-foot space between the bed and the toilet, vomit spread over the side of his face and over the floor around him. He’s so pale that Riri’d think he’d overdosed if she didn’t know that he never had access to anything, and his eyes are half-closed, only a sliver of white visible.

As Haroun drops his weapon and runs inside the cell, Cassie screams and scrambles away from Parker’s body, diving under the bed. Haroun drops to his knees by Parker, pressing his hands to the boy’s neck, and Riri rushes to his side with her gun still drawn. “Is he…”

“Not yet,” he says, and he pulls open Parker’s eyes. “Might’ve been too much sedative—ah, sh*t, sh*t, sh*t.”

“What?”

“One of his pupils is huge.”

Riri’s still got her gun on him; she doesn’t know why. “What does that mean?”

She knows Haroun did a couple semesters of med school before joining up with Charlie, so he must know something. “It means he’s not doing good. His head… f*ck.” He clearly knows something she doesn’t. “Where’s Charlie?”

“I don’t know,” she says. Her eyes don’t leave the kid on the floor. He hasn’t moved, not a twitch. “He’s—passed out, probably.” She looks from her friend to the kid on the ground. Haroun’s got Parker rolled onto his side and has one hand in his mouth, clearing out his throat, and is peering inside. “Haroun… What’s wrong with him? He’s… He doesn’t look…”

“Go find Charlie.”

“Haroun—”

“Riri, the kid needs a doctor, like right now , so go get him!”

Riri doesn’t have to be told twice. She takes off, out of the cell and down the hallway, and into the breakroom. What the hell happened to Parker? She wasn’t here for his last session with Charlie a couple hours ago, but something must’ve happened. She sprints down the hallway around the corner to the barracks, all so fast that she can hardly feel her legs. Inside, she finds Renee and Charlie sprawled on the floor and smoking something so strong that the whole room reeks of it.

Renee stops laughing when Riri comes in. Charlie’s almost completely passed out, his laugh slurred by whatever he was smoking. He’s not going to be any kind of help.

Out of breath, Riri says, “Parker needs a doctor.”

The woman before her laughs, standing, swaying a bit as she does. Her red hair is tied back in a ponytail. “Sure he does.”

Riri tightens her jaw. “Haroun says it might be the sedatives, or his head, but he’s in the cell with Parker right now, and he says it doesn’t look good—”

Renee fake-pouts. “Haroun says, Haroun says,” she mocks in a whine. “Parker gets a doctor when I say…he gets a doctor. Not on my watch, not on…” She takes a drag, and smoke bubbles at her lips before she blows it out. “...my watch. Your boyfriend needs to learn to let things go, little girl.”

“He’s not my—”

Renee echoes her words in a pitiful fake-whine. “He’s not my boyfriend, he’s not my boyfriend…” She laughs as though she’s just said the funniest thing in the world, and she pats Riri’s shoulder with one hand; her manicure is chipped and long in need of a retouch. “Tell sweet Haroun that Spider-man will be… will be fine. He’ll live.”

“I’m serious—” Renee laughs, and Riri feels the rush from a few seconds before come alive in her. Parker needs a doctor now, not when Renee says he does. Haroun doesn’t have much medical experience, but he has enough, and she could tell from his voice that he was worried about Parker. “Renee, I’m not kidding! You haven’t seen him! We need to get him a doctor! Or get him to a hospital! I saw him on the ground in there, and he did not look good—”

“Riri.” Renee draws out the girl’s name. Riiiiiriiiii. She tilts her head. “So. What would you have us do? Huh? Drag the Parker kid outside so the whole world can see him? The kid’s staying right here, little girl.” She takes another drag of whatever she’s smoking and closes her eyes. “He can heal like the rest of us—nice and slow. He’ll be fine.” She draws out the last word like she did her name: fiiiiiine . “Spider-man, spider-man, friendly neighborhood spider-man…” She laughs again, and she squeezes Riri’s shoulder. “Can you imagine? Itsy-bitsy Peter Parker needs our help. You’re funny, little girl.”

Down the hall, Riri hears Cassie start to wail again, and something in her sparks like a broken lighter. Without a thought, she slaps the joint out of Renee’s hand. “Peter Parker’s gonna be dead if you don’t do something!”

Still smoking, the joint sits on the concrete floor between them.

Renee looks down at the fallen joint, and then back at the teenage girl in front of her. The hand on Riri’s shoulder tightens tenfold. Renee’s not laughing anymore. She swipes her tongue across her teeth and straightens her head, lifting her chin. “Pick it up,” she says, and she sounds suddenly sober.

A beat. “I’m sorry,” she says, and she scoops up the joint and pushes it into the other woman’s hand. She wonders briefly what it’s laced with—what could be causing Renee to act like this—but she knows Renee would be acting like this no matter what she was taking. “I’m sorry,” she says again, even though she knows Renee won’t listen. “I’m sorry.”

MONDAY, MAY 14 — 9:17 PM

Riri goes back to Parker’s cell with a swollen eye, a bloody lip, and a plan.

She’s pissed. If Renee won’t get Parker— Peter— a doctor, then she’s going to have to do it herself.

She can hear Haroun from down the hall. “How much f*cking sedation did you give him?” he snaps.

“No more than yesterday, dude, calm down.”

Haroun sounds pissed at the very idea of calming down. “Calm down?”

“Dude, you want someone to blame? Get Jon. He’s the one who got out the hammer…”

She enters the cell furious and empty-handed, and she finds Haroun sitting by the Parker kid’s head. Someone has placed a sweatshirt under his head so that his head and shoulders are elevated slightly, and there’s a bag of clear liquid strung up on a pole, connected to the tube that usually hangs from Parker’s arm. Mateo’s standing over the kid with his arms folded, and there’s a couple more people in the cell, too: Lyle leaned on the doorframe, and Daria’s sitting on the bed.

Lyle turns as she enters. He’s one of the slower ones; he’s a bit of a meth-head, with sores around his mouth, stringy hair, and skin that seems to wrinkle over bone despite his young age. He looks pleasantly surprised to see her, and then— “Uh, Riri, your face…” he starts.

Riri ignores the meth-head and addresses Haroun, who is currently muttering to himself and scrolling on his phone. “Haroun, I need the keys.”

Her friend looks up. Upon seeing Riri’s bloody face, he turns away with a wince and looks down at Parker’s unconscious body once more. He doesn’t look at her again. “Here,” he says, digging into his pocket and tossing Nick's keys. Parker is limp still, but at least she can spot the slow rise and fall of his chest. “Make sure you take someone with you.”

Riri pockets the keys.

She needs someone strong. Mason’s passed out in the barracks with Charlie, so her next-best option is Jon. She can hear their voices further down the hall, in one of the last cells before the door, so she grabs her converse and slips them on before stomping down the hall like she’s Charlie herself.

She doesn’t knock; they don’t have that kind of time. She shoves open the door; inside, Jon and Zhiyuan are smoking and talking quiet, side by side on the bed there. Jon’s arm is around Zhiyuan’s shoulder and Zhiyuan’s leg is over Jon’s. They jump as she enters. “Jon,” she says loudly, and Zhiyuan shifts his leg back to his side of the bed. “I need you. Let’s go.”

Jon chuckles. “Riri, we’re kinda in the middle of something—”

“I don’t care what you’re in the middle of! We gotta go, now .”

Jon huffs, arching a brow, and whispers something to Zhiyuan so low and calm that Riri wants to slap him. “Alright, kid, we’re coming.”

Zhiyuan follows them outside. Zhiyuan coming along wasn’t part of the original plan, but Riri doesn’t have time to explain why she doesn’t need him. She sets the pace, rushing down the mountain so quickly that she trips constantly. Zhiyuan repeatedly asks, “What’s the hurry?” and it only makes her more furious, and she keeps going faster and faster until she’s practically running down the mountainside.

When they finally get to the truck, Zhiyuan gets into the passenger seat and Nick into the back; Riri drives. She always drives, but this time she puts the car into reverse and hits the gas so hard that they almost reverse directly into a tree.

It takes them an hour, total, to get out of the mountains and in the direction of the nearest hospital. In the car ride over, she explains as best she can through gritted teeth. “Parker won’t wake up,” she says. “He won’t wake up, and he needs a doctor, and we’re going to get him one.”

In her rearview mirror, she sees Jon duck his head. “Yeah, sorry,” the older guy says. “That’s kinda my bad.”

That evening, Jon explains, he swung for the head.

Riri heard the crack from across the hall. Wanting to avoid the seven o’clock mess, she’d been in the break room with Zhiyuan, under the buzz of his tattoo needle. He drew a series of robot-themed hearts on her ribcage; it was painful, but the discomfort served to lessen the guilt surging in her at the noises coming from the other room.

She hasn’t heard the rest of the story until this moment. From what Jon tells her, Charlie got out the blowtorch again. He was waving it around as they put him into the chair and Parker had freaked , thrashing and screaming so hysterically that he got one arm free before they could properly lock it into its restraints. With his free hand, he slammed his fist into Jon’s nose; in a moment of pure outrage, Jon picked up Charlie’s hammer and swung— crack!

It knocked the kid out cold.

Parker went completely limp, his body dipping forward in the chair like a puppet with his strings cut, his one free arm dangling by the ground, and Tony had screamed so loud over the phone that Charlie made Scott turn the volume down.

“I shouldn’t’ve done it,” says Jon from the backseat. “It’s just—he hit me in the face, and I got so mad…”

Riri doesn’t care about his excuses.

They find the nearest hospital, one located between a sugarhouse and a cemetery. As they pass the building, Riri pulls off the road with a jerk, the truck bouncing hard enough over the graveled curb, and she slams on the brakes, hard , so abruptly that Jon yells, “Whoa!” from the back and Zhiyuan throws his arm out across Riri’s chest.

For some reason, as the car shrieks to a halt barely an inch from a row of trees, she thinks of Ava.

The car dips diagonally, one wheel on the shoulder and the other three deep in the grass. She unbuckles her seatbelt and shrugs off her jacket; in one motion, she tears her sleeve in half. “Uh, Riri?” starts Zhiyuan. She opens the car door and gets out, and she ignores Zhiyuan’s continued questions. She grabs a handful of dirt from beneath the tires and rubs over her arms, over the side of her swollen face, and in the rips of her jeans. She looses her hair from its bun and shakes her fingers through it, setting fibrils of frizzed hair loose. “Zhiyuan,” she says, as she gets back in the car, “give me your knife.”

He says, “My what?”

She rolls her eyes. “I know you have it.”

Jon fumbles into position above the center console, sneaking his head between her and Zhiyuan’s passenger seat. He’s about as muscled as Captain America, and it does not give him the advantage when it comes to agility. “Wait, what’s the plan?”

She ignores Jon. “Just give me the knife, man.”

Zhiyuan grumbles, but he unstraps the knife at his belt and hands it to her. Riri makes one small cut on her arm, even as the man protests, on the outer part of her upper arm, and the blood takes a moment to swell to the surface. It bubbles over and spills down in slow trickles, which she then takes to rub on her head and on the front of her shirt. There’s not a lot of it, but there’s enough.

From the back: “Riri, what the hell are you doing?”

“Just stay here,” she declares, and she smears more blood on her head. “Be ready. I’m gonna bring someone here, and when they get here…” She leans over to Zhiyuan’s side and opens the glove compartment to a series of unused sedative-filled syringes, all left from Parker’s first abduction. “...sedate them. Just enough to knock them out for like an hour. That’s it. We’re gonna need them.”

Zhiyuan and Jon are looking at each other, exchanging looks that are doubtful enough that she wants to scream at them to shut up. “Riri—“

“I'll be back in a second,” she snaps, and she opens the car door.

MONDAY, MAY 14 — 10:08 PM

I don’t know , Riri said once to Tony Stark as they worked. It seems like you haven’t tried that hard to get free.

Stark looked resigned. I can't try, he said. I can't risk Peter like that. I don’t have the luxury of trying to set him free.

Riri walks right into the medical clinic. “I need a doctor,” she gasps. The limp is fake, but her wince is real. Her face still stings from Renee’s beating. The woman at the front perks up, and Riri barely pays her any mind; she’s not Riri’s target. “Help! I need a doctor!” On one side is a young woman in a lab coat, speaking to a Chinese family in the corner, but Riri ignores her, too. That woman could be a medical student, by the looks of her. On the other side of the waiting room, among a couple rows of chairs, there is a tall man in a lab coat speaking quietly and calmly to a kid with a towel pressed to a bloody arm. Perfect. She rushes forward. “Doctor! Doctor! Help!”

The man looks up and, leaving the kid behind, rushes to her. “I need help in here!” he shouts, and the woman at the desk disappears through a set of double doors. He scans her from head to toe and zeroes in on her swollen face, then on her bloody forehead.

“We were in the car,” she starts, filling her world with as much shock and distress as she can muster, “and we went straight into the tree… My head, I think I hit my head…”

From up close, the doctor looks much more like a real person. His face is close enough to hers that his pores are visible, and around his neck dangles a Star of David. “We? Was there anyone else in the car?”

“My friend, he’s still in the car, I need help…”

It’s then she starts to execute her plan. “Hurry, come on, we have to help him, he was bleeding… I don’t know how long he has!” She pivots and runs back through the clinic doors, fake-limping the whole way.

“Wait!” cries the doctor, rushing after her. “Kid—wait! Hold on! Come back in—”

She takes off, picking up speed; just as she expected, he comes running after her. “The car’s right there, hurry! We don’t have much time, please!”

The doctor makes one glance back at the clinic and, with a look of distinct determination, follows her across the street to the truck.

MONDAY, MAY 14 — 10:15 PM

Riri Williams doesn’t like to think of herself as a bad person. She’s not like Charlie, a psychopathic drug-addled sad*st, or Jon, a hyper-aggressive steroid junkie, or even Mason, an anxious junkie with a near-fanatical need to please. All three of them would slice Parker to bits as soon as they were told to.

The rest of them—Riri, Haroun, Nick, Lyle, everyone—aren’t really bad at all, no matter what Peter Parker likes to mutter under his breath. They’re just obeying Charlie, and they use Charlie’s plan as a means to an end: more drugs, food, a place to sleep. It isn’t even truly Charlie’s plan, although he likes to claim otherwise. That guy on the phone—Rod? Ross?—is the one who tells Charlie what to do and provides him with everything he needs, the one who calls every day and demands updates. So, is Charlie really that bad? All he wants is what the Ross guy promises: drugs, and the world peace that will follow. To be seen as someone incredible. Someone powerful. Someone who changed the world. So far, sure, Charlie implemented his plan poorly. But was all the torture at Ross’ instruction or Charlie’s own wishes?

It doesn’t matter. Riri was different. Is different. Until this moment, she never did anything remotely like what Charlie had: torture, kidnapping, murder… Charlie surrounded himself with people who would obey him and hurt them. Riri isn’t like that. Right? She thinks momentarily of Tony Stark. Of his gray hair, his twitching hands, his croaking voice, his pained expression.

No, she’s different. She’s different.

She’s never kidnapped anyone (but she has made sure those people stayed kidnapped). She’s never killed anyone (but she has helped get rid of the body). She’s never tortured anyone (but she has helped hold them down as they screamed).

Maybe she is like him. Maybe she’s getting more and more like Charlie every day she spends in that bunker. Is that why she’s doing this? She’s not like him… Charlie would never help Parker; he would scoff at the idea of bringing a doctor to the kid. But isn’t Charlie doing this for good, too? To have control of the world, to make the weapon for that Ross guy, one that will allow them to have control and to make the world a better place? Charlie wants good for the world, but he’s… He’s not like her. She’s different. She is.

But if helping Parker means hurting someone else… No. She’s doing this for good. To save Peter Parker.

But the question still pulls at her chest: is this something Charlie would do?

Riri drives. She’s usually the driver—everyone else’s usually too high to get behind the wheel, so it’s naturally her job. In the passenger seat, Zhiyuan sits with the empty syringe of sedatives; in the back, Jon cuffs the doctor’s hands behind his back and tapes his mouth shut. “Couldn’t’ve picked someone smaller, Riri?” he complains. “He’s gonna be a bitch carrying back to the bunker.”

“It’s not like there were a whole lot of options,” she shoots back. “We’re in New Hampshire. He was probably the only doctor in the whole place.”

The drive is quiet; the man barely makes a sound in his sleep. “This is a good idea,” says Riri, “right?”

Zhiyuan doesn’t say anything.

Jon carries the man halfway up—about thirty minutes—the mountain before the doctor begins to stir. Then Zhiyuan stabs a needle into the man’s arm, injects, and he goes limp again. Another half-hour passes before they make it to the bunker entrance: an entrance deep in a cave, disguised by a wall of wet moss and vine.

Before they get inside, Riri asks Zhiyuan to wake up the doctor. “I need to talk to him.” Clipped to his coat is a nametag reading Dr. Leonard Skivorski, M.D. Beside it is a photo of him. The doctor looks maybe fifty or so, and in his ID picture he looks younger than forty. At the bottom corner of the ID: Pediatric Surgery.

He’ll do.

Jon pins the doctor still against the cave wall while Zhiyuan rummages through his backpack and finds a syringe, although she’s not sure how clean it is. He presses the piston a little to clear the needle of air bubbles, yanks the doctor’s scrub pants down an inch or two, and plunges the needle directly below his hip. Zhiyuan fixes the man’s pants and takes a step back, and in just a minute or two, the doctor wakes.

He has grayish-blonde hair, a wrinkled face, and a bit of a beer belly. When he opens his eyes, they’re green, and he jerks in Jon’s grip, thrashing. Zhiyuan pulls a gun on him then, pressing it against his nametag. “Be still,” he says, “and listen to the girl.”

She tells the doctor exactly what they need. “So as long as you fix him, and you do what we tell you, we’ll let you go. Got it?”

Frozen by Jon’s arms and the threat of Zhiyuan’s gun, he nods furiously in understanding, eyes still bugged wide, breathing hard through his nose in shallow puffs. He glances at Zhiyuan, and then back to Riri, and his eyes seem only to get wider.

MONDAY, MAY 14 — 11:32 PM

Peter is still not awake.

The doctor stands in the doorway, cuffs gone, a pair of guns directed at his back. Peter’s still flat on the ground, pale and unconscious, but one of his wrists is cuffed to the leg of the bed. At the other end of the bed, another cuff rattles around the far leg, attached to a small white hand leading under the bed. “There’s your patient, Doctor,” says Jon. He pokes the barrel into the man’s labcoat. “Go on.”

Jon’s tone is anything but playful. The room dies with his comment, the mass of people in the room now falling quiet. There are quite a few more spectators than when she left: Mason by the bucket, Daria on the bed between Glenn and Nick, Lyle leaned on Megan in the doorway, and even that tall white girl—Blake? Betty?—is sitting on the floor next to the Lang girl’s cuffed hand.

The room is stuffed full of people—figures. It’s no wonder they’re all so interested; this is the most exciting thing that’s happened in the last month.

Dr. Skivorski hesitates, but he does peer over at the Parker kid. He has a pair of glasses strung around his neck, and the string is wound in multicolored yarn and beaded with small ceramic smiley faces. She forgot; he’s a pediatric surgeon. “What happened to him?” he asks, putting on his glasses.

Riri looks to Haroun, Haroun to Zhiyuan, and Zhiyuan to Jon. His face flushed red, Jon raises his hands in sudden surrender. “How was I supposed to know? I’m not his f*cking keeper, man! He’s supposed to heal fast!”

They explain as best they can what happened to him without giving details about him. When they’re done, the doctor’s face sours, and Haroun mentions, “Kid had a seizure while you were gone.”

“How long?” asks the doctor.

“About a minute, like an hour ago. Then another, like ten minutes ago.”

Now that Riri’s thinking about it, that’s probably what freaked out Cassie so much in the first place. Not the fact that he was asleep—but the fact that he seized .

That little girl might’ve saved his life.

He still seems a little rattled, but the epinephrine must have done its job, because he drops to his knees next to the Parker kid with a huff and asks, “Do I get supplies?”

Some of the watching addicts scramble together some supplies for him. He’s already at work, doing some of what Haroun had done when he’d first seen the kid unconscious. Dr. Skivorski takes alcohol swabs from his pockets—Riri already made sure to clear his lab-coat of anything useful: phone, needle driver, pager—and wipes his hands clean. He opens Parker’s mouth, clutches his wrist for a pulse, and tries to get his attention.He goes straight for the head, where bloody scraps of cloth are tied around it.

Dr. Skivorski takes a look at the wound, and finds a reopened gash and an array of messy, split stitches, which he mumbles as he checks. “Who stitched him up? What, is there a doctor around here? ‘Cause he did a crap job.”

They look around. No one stitched him up. No one’s fessing up.

From under the bed, the Lang girl says, “Peter did.” Her voice is a croak; Riri wonders if it’s from screaming Parker’s name.

The doctor blinks, jumping slightly at the sound of a child’s voice. He turns and peers under the bed, then back up at everyone else. “Who the hell is Peter?”

In an almost comic fashion, Zhiyuan and some of the others simultaneously point to the boy laying on the ground.

Dr. Skivorski tilts his head back, and his gray-lined hair falls back. “What the…” he mutters, and then he says it louder, his words pointed at Nick, who seems to be the oldest in the room. “What the hell. You let this kid sew up his own head?”

Nick shrugs, but even he looks a little embarrassed. “It’s not my job, man.”

“And why is he handcuffed to the—what, you geniuses think he’s gonna fight you like this? That he’s gonna pop up and knock you one? Look at him!”

Glenn, massive and muscled, his arm wound in a cast, complains that Parker broke his arm clean in half. “You don’t understand what this kid can do—he’s a f*cking menace!”

“Not right now he’s not,” snaps the doctor. The room still reeks of blood and piss. “And the… Is that a little kid under there?”

“Don’t worry about the kid,” snaps Jon, and Riri remembers his gun is still out. “What do you need for Parker?”

“I need medical equipment. Gloves, masks, sutures, scalpels… Anything you have. Is there someplace sterile?”

Daria from the couch: “There’s an operating room in the lower levels.”

Riri looks to her; they mostly stay out of the lower levels. Charlie’s crew is only about a dozen people, two dozen tops, and usually half of them are so high they can barely stand. There are several lower levels, but they’re either full of liquified corpses in black uniforms and more corpses in the same prisoner’s garb they force Parker and the girl into. It’s not a pleasant place.

“What?” she says. “I was curious.”

“Is it sterile?” asks Dr. Skivorski.

“As sterile as you’re gonna get,” responds Daria.

The doctor has now pushed up Parker’s shirt and is visibly cringing at the injuries there. “Fine. Then get me a stretcher.”

Lyle, from the doorway: “I don’t think we have—a—”

“Then find me something that works like one!” he snaps.

Lyle rushes out of the room, and Megan follows.

MONDAY, MAY 14 — 11:44 PM

They take Parker to the operating room on another cell’s mattress.

As the strongest, Nick and Jon do most of the lifting; as they pick it up, Nick says, in subdued surprise, “He’s so light.”

The operating room is on the fourth level from the top, so it’s almost completely silent when they exit the elevator. Once they enter, the relief in the doctor is so obvious that he lets out an audible sigh. “This is perfect,” he starts, before Jon shoves the gun into his back and Dr. Skivorski shuts up.

He doesn't need to do that, Riti knows, because everyone in the room is armed but the doctor. Even Riri’s got a gun lodged in her belt. She can’t live here and not be armed.

“I need a team,” says the doctor, as the men settle Parker onto the open table. “I usually have—at least a couple—”

“How many?” asks Nick. As the oldest of the crew—at around thirty-five—he has somewhat taken charge of the situation, despite the fact that his eyelids are drooping and his words are slightly slurred.

“At least two,” Dr. Skivorski says. “But, uh…” He turns to the group in the room. There are even more now, around a dozen people in the room, all having followed Riri and the rest down to see what the fuss was about.

They are all in the scrub room. Even Parker is there, sprawled unconscious on the mattress. Dr. Skivorski makes Nick and Jon clean up before they carry in the Parker kid, and Riri’s currently helping to strip Parker of his grimy clothes and clean him up. She’s not sure why they need to be this thorough; he’s survived this long with the grime. How sterile does he really need to be?

But the good doctor insists, so they obey. They can’t afford to lose Peter. Again, Dr. Skivorski addresses the room: “Can I get a couple volunteers, please?”

Instead of volunteers, he gets a roomful of confused, shuffling addicts.

“Does anyone have medical experience? Patient experience? Anything?”

They look around at each other like they’ve only just met. Lyle even says, “Uh,” and nothing else. None of them take the lead on volunteering. Jon suggests one of the girls, one who went to a semester or two of college, but she shakes her head and says she was a business major.

Dr. Skivorski nods, finally drying his washed hands, and squints at the messy group of young people. “Okay, if you think you can handle seeing someone be cut open, stay. The rest of you, go.” About half of them file out.

Riri adds, albeit discreetly, “Most of them are probably on something right now, so I don’t know how much help they’ll be.

Dr. Skivorski stands up straight and addresses the dozen-ish addicts. “Okay, how many of you are high right now?”

Every hand goes up.

He makes a tsk sound of disappointment, frowning. “Okay, hands down.”

Fine motor skills aren’t generally a requirement of being part of Charlie’s crew. As Riri and Haroun finish cleaning Parker, he has the remaining few try to write their names and asks them a couple questions. He dismisses a couple more,and is eventually left with Riri, Mateo, and Zhiyuan.

Masked and clean, Nick and Jon carry in a newly scrubbed Parker and place him on the operating table in the center of the room. There are leather-lined cuffs on the table, and they strap him in, three straps across each arm, four over each leg, three over the torso, one over the shoulders. He’s entirely limp still, and his head rocks to the side before they strap it in, too.

The doctor tells Riri, the only one who’s not high, to help him scrub in. All the supplies are still inside the scrub room, left in unlocked cabinets. Dr. Skivorski seems to know exactly what he needs. She helps him tie shut the gown, strap on a mask, and put on a turquoise pair of gloves. “When’s the last time someone was in here?” he asks. “Five years?”

Riri doesn’t know, and she tells him so. “How can you tell?”

He gestures vaguely at the array of protective equipment he’s wearing; “The popular brands of scrubs and PPE, they change over time. I haven’t worn this kind since…2013?”

Riri washes and scrubs in, as do Mateo and Zhiyuan, although not as thoroughly as the doctor did. Jon and Nick stay, guarding the entrance. Mateo and the doctor talk about anesthesia, and they post him by the anesthesia cart; they use the IV in his arm as well as a central line in the groin to deliver extra fluids into his body through his femoral vein. They intubate him—imaging the tube going down Riri’s own throat makes her want to gag, but she buries the feeling—and flood him with fluids, nutrients, and antibiotics.

The combination of medications and fluids seem to help; from its slowed state, the kid’s heart rate goes up on the monitor, and once he’s stable enough they drape his head in sterile cloth, cut open a spot for his head, and the doctor shaves away a lot of his dark hair from the wounded area.

Riri tries not to watch.

They dive straight into the surgery. His heart rate skyrockets on the first incision, and Dr. Skivorski calls for more anesthesia. Riri passes him blades and handles, clamps and syringes, forceps and retractors. “He was hit twice,” says the doctor, as he examines the kid’s head. “The first time was hard enough to fracture the skull, and the second was hard enough to crack it further and bruise the brain. Once the skull is fractured, it has a hard time absorbing a blow, so your boy Jon” —he scoffs— “caused some swelling in this kid's brain. That’s why he won’t wake up.”

Dr. Skivorski works while talking to himself, sometimes humming random Beatles songs as he goes, so Riri says, when he’s halfway through Can’t Buy Me Love , “You seem awfully calm for someone who’s been kidnapped,” she says.

He glances over at her for a second. “I just can’t believe you managed to trick me,” he says. “Fifty-five years on this Earth, and I didn’t stop to think why you hadn’t called 911, or why you just needed me, or why the blood on your head didn’t have a wound.” He shakes his head, and he shakes his head again. “I’ve lived my life. If saving this kid is the way I go out, then… That’s not so bad, is it?” She turns her face away as he digs further into the bloody cavity; to look, she thinks, would make her sick. “I’m sorry,” he says then, as Riri grasps both retractors to give him access to Parker’s wounded skull, “you’re really, really too young for this.” He frowns. “How old are you?”

“Fifteen,” she says. That seems like the answer the doctor was expecting. She can’t see the lower half of his face under the surgical mask, but his eyes seem to grimace. “And how old is the kid on the table?”

“Sixteen,” she answers.

“And—the little girl, from under the bed?”

“Seven.” The doctor’s eyes focus on Parker’s head, and she finds him suddenly incredibly difficult to read. “My son’s a little older than him,” he says. “He’s going to college next year.”

“Oh, yeah?” says Riri, as though she’s not holding apart the skin of Parker’s head and he’s not digging inside of his brain and clearing clumpy blood clots from a teenager’s injured brain. “Congrats. Where’s he going?”

“NYU. He wants to go premed. He already lives in New York, you know. His mom moved down there to be with him.”

“And you didn’t?”

He shook his head. “I didn’t want to seem overbearing. His mom had custody, anyway. He comes back here for the holidays, and my job’s out here, so…” He smiles with a wince. “Now, I wish I’d gone with them. I’d like to see his face.”

“You will,” Riri assures him. “I swear.”

The doctor shakes his head. “I should’ve gone with them. I should’ve gone with them.” He falls quiet then, mumbling to himself about linear fractures and hematomas and occipital lobes. Riri’s seen thirteen seasons of Grey’s Anatomy and still she has no idea what he’s talking about.

She once overheard a conversation between Peter and Cassie while leaving the bunker. And then there’s a cassowary , said Cassie, with that excited-kid voice. They look kinda like roosters—but they’re not roosters. They’re blue and black and red and really tall, like an ostrich! They eat a lot of fruit, and they live in Australia like the kangaroos!

That’s pretty cool, Cass, said Peter, sounding incredibly tired. They must not have heard her footsteps, because at that point Riri stood beside their door with one ear pressed to the wall.

And their eggs! Their eggs are big and green and so cool! I think maybe if you cooked them like in Dr. Seuss they would be green, right, Peter? Green eggs and ham? But I asked Jim and he looked it up and he said that it was white and yellow on the inside, like a chicken!

That’s really— Riri heard Parker suddenly gasp— bad leg, Cass, bad leg, off the bad—ah!—leg…

Sorry, said the little girl, sounding genuinely so. I forgot.

It’s…okay, said the teenager. Just give me….a second.

She could hear their breathing as though she was in the room with them. Cassie’s excited breaths turning slow as she must’ve watched Parker try to calm himself—and Parker’s own quick, stilted ones. Okay , he said finally, once his breathing slowed again . Tell me more about these birds.

An excited giggle from Cassie. Yay!—so they can swim and run fast, but it can’t fly…

Riri had Googled ‘cassowary’ later, once Cassie and Peter were fast asleep and she had hidden in one of the other cells with her phone and earbuds and was in between a couple episodes of How Stuff Works . The first video: Why Cassowaries Are the Most Dangerous Bird on the Planet . Cassie had been talking about a killer bird, one that had been known to kill humans with their claws.

But of course, Cassie didn’t know that. Whatever she had seen on TV or read in a chapter book about cassowaries had all been the good stuff.

She was too young to know about killers.

She was too young for all of this.

Riri feels a lime-colored egg sink in the pit of her stomach.

TUESDAY, MAY 15 — 6:50 AM

They work through the night, having to stop every time Parker’s blood pressure got too high. He had a certain knack for burning through every bit of anesthesia Mateo threw at him; each time he started to stir, they had to stop until he was fully under once more. At one point, Mateo falls asleep at the anesthesia cart, and Parker’s eyes start to move beneath their lids—a fluttering—until finally they open to reveal a bleary pair of brown irises. “Mateo!” snaps the doctor. “He’s up!”He looks around, to the ceiling, and side to side, then closes them again. His mouth moves then, as he looks up. He reaches for her; strapped down, his hands don’t do much more than wiggle, but he tries. His mouth moves again, and he mouths something like Mom around the tube in his throat.

Then his eyes close again, like a sleepy toddler’s, and Peter Parker smiles, but he doesn’t manage to say anything else before he’s out again, a new round of anesthesia flooding him.

At last, the doctor sews him up—redraping him, moving on to several slashes that are on the boy’s torso. These are simpler, and don’t require as much anesthesia, so Dr. Skivorksi vauches to bring him back. He mentions that you want to keep someone under for as little as possible; the longer someone’s under anesthesia, the worse you risk complications. “And he’s already been through enough,” he says, “don’t you think?”

They pull up stools—which is of great relief to Riri’s cramping legs—and get to work on his other injuries.

At this point, both Zhiyuan and Mateo have gotten quite twitchy, and have since run off for a fresh hit, and the doctor says they don’t need to come back. It’s just a matter of monitoring him now—and fixing up his lesser injuries—so it’s only Riri and the doctor now. He still needs her extra set of hands.

“What are you doing here?” he says, now that the other two are gone. He pulls a stitch closed. “You’re a kid. You should be in school.”

She shrugs. “That's not the way it works for everyone, you know. I’m not like the Parker kid.”

He glances up at her briefly, and then back down to the sutures in Parker’s belly, where he loops and pulls the thread with his needle driver. “Why do you call him that?” he asks.

“What?”

“Kid,” he echoes. “He’s older than you.”

Riri knows he’s technically a year older than her. She’s never really thought about it. “That’s what Charlie and everybody calls him, I guess.”

“Hm,” he says. “And Charlie, he’s the one in charge?”

On instinct, Riri glances at the door. No Charlie. Just Jon and Nick, guarding the door and smoking. Zhiyuan’s out there, too, talking to Jon. “Yeah,” she says. “You haven’t met him.”

The doctor finishes his sutures and drops his tools, searching over Peter’s body for more wounds. He gets to the leg finally, and he and Riri redrape again, this time revealing his brutalized right leg. “Holy—” he starts, as soon as he sees it.

“That’s his bad leg,” says Riri.

“And who did that?”

She feels almost irritated at his question. “Charlie,” she snaps. “Look, you better stop asking so many questions, or we won’t let you go.”

The doctor stops looking at her. He’s looking at Parker, she notices, but not at his leg—at his face. “They’re not going to let me go, hon.”

She blinks. “What are you—of course they will—we will. I’ll do it myself—we’re gonna let you go. I’ll make sure of it. I told you I would, so I will.”

He’s still looking at Parker. “I’m sure you will,” he says.

As Dr. Skivorski examined Peter’s leg, Riri thought about what he said. More and more as Riri remained a part of this, the more she thought they might never free Parker or Lang or the Lang girl. If they were going to save the world, how could they have people around who knew they had tortured and killed to get there? They weren’t just tools—they were witnesses. And Charlie never liked to have witnesses.

“I’m glad it was me,” says the doctor, as his cap-bound head ducks to Parker’s leg. “The other doctor on duty—she’s getting married in the summer. I’ve lived my life, you know? I got married, I had a kid…” He sighs. “Crap. His knee’s infected. He really did a number on this one. Can you grab the…”

She hands him the vial of antibiotics from the cart.

“Thanks.”

At this moment, he reminds her a little of Stark.

She helped him set up a drape of cloth between Peter and his leg, one that shields his view from the leg, in case he wakes up. “I’ve gotta open it up,” Charlie says. “If this infection sticks around any longer, he’ll get septic.” They do more work on his leg; after some injections of localized anesthesia, the doctor opens it up, and Riri winces at the sight of raw muscle and bone. Dr. Skivorski removes shards of bone one by one, and each clink into the surgical tray beside him.

Sometime as the doctor is sewing up Parker’s leg, the kid starts to stir again. She helps the doctor exchange his gloves for a pair of fresh ones, and they remove his endotracheal tube from his throat by pulling slowly.

At this point Riri’s watch beeps, and she realizes that it’s morning. If she went outside right now, she would see the sun peek through the trees and pass over the mountain peaks. Maybe the deer has started to wake—returning to the spot where her young once lay, sniffing and sniffing and finding only pieces of burnt fur and bloody leaves. The doctor hears it, too, and asks her what time it is—it’s then she remembers the implications of what she’s done. Dr. Skivorski asks her again and this time she does respond. “Almost eight,” she says.

“Hm,” he says. That seems to be his catchphrase. “Okay, let’s see if we can get him up.” They’ve already reversed the anesthesia; they’re only waiting for him to wake. As he does, the doctor’s frown seems only to deepen.

Like before, Parker’s eyes shift beneath their lids, and when they open they’re unfocused and confused. His pupils look better now—of equal size—although tears rise immediately to his eyes. He squeezes them shut, and, after a few more confused glances, tries to talk: a cough is all that comes from him. It becomes a pattern—open eyes, look around, attempt to talk, close eyes again. His eyes don’t focus on a single thing. It’s like he can’t even see them standing beside him.

“Peter? Peter? Can you hear me?” The doctor passes a light over his eyes, and the kid winces, shutting his eyes. “Keep your eyes open for me, okay?” Peter can’t move his head because he’s strapped down, so he can’t prevent the doctor from pulling his eyelids open to keep him from blinking.

The flash of light causes obvious pain, but the doctor does it again to the other eye. “Hm,” he says again. “Peter, can you look at the light?” He shines the light above his head, and then slightly to the left, then to the right.

Parker is still confused, and he’s starting to pull against his restraints, his hands turning to fists and his one not-numbed leg kicking out. There are so many straps holding him down that he barely moves, but he keeps twisting and twisting and twisting , a sound exiting his body in a low whine. “Wait,” he gasps, “please, wait, please …”

The doctor looks wildly uncomfortable. He rolls his stool to Parker’s head and places one hand on the boy’s shoulder; he flinches against his restraints. “Hey, hey,” he says, with a quick removal of his hand. “Peter? You’re safe, you’re safe. My name’s Dr. Skivorski, and I’m not going to hurt you. I’m here to help.”

“No, please…” he continues, and his heart rate shoots up as he continues to thrash. “ Please! Please, no more, I can’t…” He starts to cough again. “My head… I can’t…”

“Your head’s gonna hurt for a while,” says Dr. Skivorski. “We fixed you up, but you need to take it easy.”

Peter’s eyes glance in every direction, but still they don’t settle on the doctor. “I can’t… What did you do to me? I can't see!”

The doctor looks at Riri. “He wasn’t like this before?” he asks, as Peter mumbles, “Can’t see, can’t see… Oh, God… Charlie, please , please… I can’t…”

She shakes her head. “What did we do?”

The boy continues to flail against the reinforced restraints, a dry scream erupting from him.

“Something’s not right,” says Dr. Skivorski. “His heart rate’s too high, his blood pressure—too high, too. But he’s not… Is he septic? Shock, maybe? No…” He mutters to himself, checking everything—Parker’s urine drainage bag, his response times, just like he did before.

Please! ” screams Peter, and he’s sobbing. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, please, Mr. Stark… Help me, please…”

Riri stands entirely useless beside the doctor as he does his work. When he starts repeating, “Come on, Peter…” She hurries over to him, positioning herself at the beside the kid’s stitched torso. The bruises are f*cking endless… At the site of Parker’s recently-stitched head, his skin has healed entirely around the stitches. “This is what you meant when you said he heals fast, huh? I thought you were exaggerating, but he… His head… It’s almost entirely healed.” He inspects it further. “That’s incredible. It’s like his body knows exactly where the danger is and focused on healing.” His shoulders drop, just slightly. “So he’s…enhanced?”

Riri is suddenly very, very ashamed. “Yeah.”

”Then what’s happening…? Come on, Peter, work with me…”

She glances up to the monitor, where his temperature reads a cool ninety-six degrees and falling. “Uh, Dr. Skivorski?”

He looks up at her, deep in his inspection of Peter’s head stitches. The kid’s still flailing against his restraints like he’s possessed. She points to the monitor, and he says, “No, no, no—come on, Peter, stay with me.”

There is a sudden cry from Parker: “It burns! It burns, please, I can’t take it, Mr. Stark, help me!

“Hold on, Peter, hold on…” He rifles through vial after vial in search of something, and when he finally finds it, he taps a new syringe, inserts and draws liquid, and inserts it into Parker’s femoral catheter.

It takes a minute or two, but at last Parker calms, falling into some kind of fitful, unconscious state. After he passes out, she and the doctor flood him with warm fluids to get his temperature back up, and the doctor sits back in his stool with a sigh.

TUESDAY, MAY 15 — 10:41 AM

It takes another couple hours for Parker to come back to consciousness. Even then, he talks in his sleep, mumbling for people: his parents, his aunt and uncle, someone named Skip, and even for Tony Stark. At some point, he comes to with some lucidity and thrashes so hard that his arms come free; in his half-sedated, half-feverish state, he scrabbles at his restraints with his fingernails, and in one scream of pain, throws his chest through the straps with such power than each one breaks. Before he can break the ones at his legs, the doctor goes to him and grabs his clammy hand with both of his, patting gently over his knuckles. “Peter, listen to me: you’re okay, hon, you’re okay.”

That gets the boy’s attention; his thrashing slows to a standstill. His lower half is still strapped down to the bed, and he tries to sit up but only falls back down. “Uncle Ben?” he whispers. He seems to have more visual acuity than he had a couple hours ago, because he’s focusing entirely on Dr. Skivorski’s face, scanning it as one would a loved one. His voice cracks, and Peter Parker starts to cry. “Uncle Ben… I’m sorry…”

Riri watches their interaction from the other side of the bed. She remembers, then, that Mateo was the one dosing the Parker kid with his daily sedation, and he’s gone now. That must be how he broke through the restraints.

“Is it really you?” says Parker, and he’s squinting. Relief floods her—he must be able to see again.The kid’s eyes are so bloodshot they’re almost almost red. He reaches out for the doctor, his face going slack, repeatedly trying to lift his head; his arms stretch out again, his hands bumping against the doctor’s forearms and taking hold of his scrubs.

The doctor looks back once at Riri before pulling his stool closer to the kid, and he lets the kid hold onto him. “Yeah,” he says, and there’s something in Dr. Skivorski’s voice that Riri can’t detect. “It’s me, Peter. It’s me. I’m here.”

Tears spill from Parker’s bloodshot eyes, but the liquid is pink, as though tainted with blood. His breathing hitches. “Ben—Uncle Ben, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry…”

The doctor gathers the boy into his arms. His scrubs are covered in splatters of various fluids—all of them Parker’s—but Parker doesn’t seem to notice and the doctor doesn’t seem to care. “It’s okay,” whispers the doctor, and he cups the back of the boy’s neck with one hand. “You’re okay. It’s okay, hon.” He holds the boy’s battered boy half-up against himself, trying to still Parker’s heaving chest. “I’m here. I’m here.”

Riri is immovable, frozen solid on her stool by Parker’s legs.

“I couldn’t save you, I couldn’t—” The boy sobs harder. “I didn’t save you… Uncle Ben, I… I… I’m sorry… I should’ve… I…” He’s crying so hard he can’t breathe, so Dr. Skivorski folds his arms around him. The movement is so gentle that it isn’t a hug but more of an embrace, like he’s holding a newborn infant. “I lost you, I lost you… I miss you so, so much… and I… It’s all my… my fault…”

The doctor holds him, and Parker holds him back. He is surprisingly strong for someone so brutally and gravely wounded. “You’re okay,” says the doctor, as Parker’s bruised hands grip into the doctor’s scrubs hard enough to injure. His voice slows, calms, and quiets to a lulled whisper. “It’s not your fault, Peter, it’s not your fault… You were just a kid…”

He says these words with so much surety that Riri thinks for a second that he knows Parker. Then she remembers—Parker is a kid. He’s sixteen. So anything that may have happened before this, any situation where he could have caused someone harm… How could it have been his fault? He’s a kid now, and he was a kid then. What does that mean for her? What is she responsible for? What is her fault?

The kid clings to the doctor like he’s gravity, like the doctor is his last tether to Earth. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry… Do you…” His breathing turns to gasps, like he can’t quite get enough air into himself. “Ben—Ben, please… Do you—do you forgive me?”

Dr. Skivorski doesn’t hesitate. “I forgive you, of course I forgive you, Peter.” The kid cries more, in weary relief, and he loops his arms around the doctor’s chest, hugging him desperately close. “You’ve always been forgiven, hon, always. It’s okay, I’m here, it’s okay, I’m here…”

Peter sobs and sobs and holds him, but he’s exhausted. He only makes it another minute before his sobs calm, melting into gasps and into sighs, and at last he’s passed out again.

Once he’s asleep, for the first time since she met him a month or so ago, Peter Parker seems at peace.

Notes:

y'all i'm not a doctor, plz let me live, i'm doing my best to make this as realistic as possible. & don't question the blindness weirdness, i'll get to explaining that in the next chapter.

and remember, the last time someone was in HYDRA bunkers was probably around 2014—when HYDRA got taken down by good ol Cap in the winter soldier

dr skivorski is actually such a fun character, he’s a real marvel character, look him up! they call him doc samson cuz he’s strong—and now he’s being strong for our peter <3

we'll see more of doc skivorski in the next chapter, but thank u for reading and see u next chapter! plz leave let me know if there's anything u wanna see or what you think!

Chapter 7: light a fire in my stomach

Summary:

“We’ve done all we can do for now,” the doctor says.

For some reason, his comment really pisses Riri off. “You’re not done,” she insists. “He still looks like…”

“Like he’s been to hell?” he prompts. “Well, he’s still there, hon.”

“But—”

“He’s not just going to magically get better as soon as I lay my hands on him. That’s not how medicine works. Sometimes the best you can do is sit and wait.”

Notes:

chap title from 'inside out' by duster

here's a new chap, happy finals to everyone. i'm literally dying out here. i hate this sh*t so much, but writing these chapters gives me so much joy. thanks so much for reading, you guys. enjoy.

CW: ross being a perv, medical stuff, injury, fixing injuries, mentions of torture, mentions of violence

Chapter Text

ROSS — TUESDAY, MAY 15 — 11:35 AM

Secretary Ross is not happy.

The death of Ava Starr is all over the news. She was found with a hair— one f*cking hair —in her pocket that led to the reopening of that missing kid’s case: Cassandra Paxton-Lang, Ant-Man’s kid.

Starr’s not the first death. There’s been a couple overdoses, a couple more violent deaths—which she supposes it what happens when you put a bunch of poor, stupid, drug-addled menaces in a bunker and give them an unlimited supply to their drug of choice.

It’s an occupational hazard. It’s not like he made them overdose or fight each other, so obviously it’s not his fault, but it is his responsibility to take care of the bodies to make sure they don’t get caught.

Ross tried to shut down a thorough investigation of the body, to have it settled as the death of a homeless bitch who no one cared for, but they found her f*cking identity barely five hours after the body was pulled from the lake. Once they found out it was Ava Starr, former enemy of SHIELD and Ant-Man, then SHIELD took complete control. Once SHIELD got involved, he had no power over the case; everything superhuman always goes straight to SHIELD.

He can’t touch this goddamn case. He should’ve known those idiots would find a way to f*ck this up. If another body drops, he’s gonna have to start piling them up in the Raft just to keep them out of the news.

He can help them with the corpses—acid to melt it, tips on how to remove the teeth and fingerprints—but these days, a professionally desecrated corpse draws more attention than a random bitch dropped in a lake or shoved in the back of someone’s car.

People these days watch too much true crime.

They want everything to be a f*cking conspiracy; so what if they’re right? It makes Ross’ project so much harder. How’s he ever gonna get anything done when people keep interfering ?

He advised Charlie’s crew on where to drop the bodies; the first two overdosed on Ross’ donated drugs, but they were easy. They weren’t murdered. An autopsy of a couple overdosed, homeless addicts wouldn’t draw any suspicion. Drop them deep in the Bronx, and no one would bat an eye.

But the Starr bitch? She is the most inconvenient thing to happen to him all week. He watches the news on the TV in his office. When her face comes up, brown-skinned and green-eyed and mopey in her SHIELD-official photo, Ross wants to throw the whole television out the window and watch it shatter on the sidewalk below. They’re going to call her a victim?

The news anchor is a man. He says: “ Twenty-three-year-old Ava Starr was murdered last night, and her body was found in Lake Champlain, Vermont. The Argentina native has been a high-profile missing persons case in the United States and Argentine since she was witness to her parents’ death and illegally taken in by former SHIELD agent Bill Foster. Her abduction caused major rifts between the Argentine and American governments. Pre-its 2014 purge, SHIELD lost track of both Starr and Foster, who suddenly disappeared from public eye. Just recently, Foster and Starr came to the forefront of Califronian news when they committed a mass of felonies in San Francisco, including the kidnapping of a minor and the murder of a federal agent, and fled the country.

“Now her brutal death has been related to the disappearance of Scott Lang and his biological daughter Cassandra Paxton-Lang back in April. Forensic teams discovered a hair on Starr that belonged to Paxton-Lang, and further analysis suggests that she has been heavily drugged but is still alive.

“Some believe that the father is the cause of Starr’s death. Others believe both Paxton-Lang and her biological father Lang are victims of a drug ring that Starr was involved in. In any case, the connection between Starr and the Paxton-Lang blended family remains unclear—

He pauses the TV as it is, displaying all three of their faces: mugshots of Scott Lang and Ava Starr, and an elementary school photo of Cassie Paxton-Lang. Those vultures—if they keep digging, they’re going to find out. They’re going to uncover the connection between him and Ava Starr, and then Ross’ll be screwed.

His office door opens, and Ross moves to turn off the television, but it’s a wall-mounted flatscreen; his secretary can see it from where she stands in the doorway. “Kate!” he snaps. “What did I say about knocking?”

Kate Bishop is a college student who is much too stupid to be a secretary, but her mother pays him too well for him to get rid of her. The girl apologizes deeply and places a file of papers on his desk . “From the Secretary of Defense, sir.” Plus, she’s not too hard on the eyes, and she’s fond of those tight, cropped shirts that show exactly how young she is.

Her eyes glance up at the television, where Paxton-Lang’s, Lang’s, and Starr’s faces still glow. “Oh, I heard about that,” she says, with a curious nod. “They’d closed the case already, I heard. And like, they thought the dad did it, but then they found a hair—”

“I don’t pay you to talk,” snaps Ross. Well, he doesn’t really pay her at all. It’s an unpaid position that will set her up for her future career. “Is there anything else?”

Kate shuts up, as she should. “No, sir.”

The Bishop girl isn’t going to be here for very long; she’s taking a semester off from NYU to be his assistant, so he has her until the end of the summer, when she’ll be going back to school. For now, he’ll drink her in. The long ponytails, the eyeliner, the sheer tights, the crop tops… The girl’s got taste, much more than his wife ever had.

“Um, actually,” adds Kate, “you did get a delivery.”

He stares at her. Is she stupid? “Then where is it?”

Kate nods, laughs nervously, and says, “Oh—sorry! I’ll get it!” with a hasty exit.

She returns with a worn, well-padded box labeled FRAGILE and places it on his desk. “No return address, sir, but it was labeled Project Manticore. Did you want me to open it for you?”

Finally! One good thing in this utter sh*tshow of a day. “No, just leave it here and get back to your desk.”

Another “Yes, sir!” from Bishop, and she vanishes into the hall; Ross locks the door this time. He opens up the box: inside is Charlie Keene’s newest prototype, plus about thirty sheets of paper bound in a ratty manila folder. Blueprints.

Originally, eh was going to call it Project Pegasus, like the original SHIELD project attempting to harness the power of the Tesseract, but it felt it was too on-the-nose. This project is more than that; using his resources, Thaddeus Ross is going to replicate the power of the Tesseract. And fine, does it require a little arm-twisting to get his results? Sure. But soon he will have power, true power: a power source that can disintegrate a person at mere touch or control the minds of soldiers or create explosions massive enough to destroy a city yet contained enough to avoid any radioactive side-effects.

Imagine—an bomb with the strength of the atom bomb that leaves the land untouched.

Thaddeus Ross will be put in the history books after he’s done with this.

This—the power of the Tesseract—will make him not just a good leader, but a great one. This could grant the United States complete global military control.

The Secretary of Defense—a man named Johnson who is entirely too young for the job—is more than happy to fund his project. Naming it Project Pegasus also would’ve drawn too many eyes, so instead, Ross calls it Project Manticore, after the fire-breathing creature of fantasy: the epitome of strength. With Ross’ promise of a new, clean, contained power source, Johnson provides him with three billion dollars of funding for the year, given in smaller portions every month.

Johnson doesn’t have to know how much of it goes towards funding the drug habits of a couple dozen addicts from the dregs of New York City.

He will never know. No one ever will.

Ross takes Charlie Keene’s prototypes and makes them shine . Every time he gets a new prototype, he replaces rusty metal parts with gleaming steel, replaces the ratty cardboard box with a shiny suitcase, and exchanges its torn newspaper packing with custom-cut foam casing. Then he presents it to Secretary Johnson as proof of his Project’s advancements in technology.

Really, Ross was doing all the work: he turned Project Manticore from a pile of Stark sh*t into something beautiful . Without his work, without his dedication, no one would even glance at the Project. He tells this Johnson, this stupidly naïve Secretary of Defense, that he has a team of American engineers who creates each weekly design. Ross also tells him that they outsource the parts to different countries, and assembly of the parts occurs, obviously, back in America, at a factory in Michigan. Ross knows it’s the details that matter. All Johnson cares about is that the Project is manufactured by Americans, cheaply outsourced, and impressive.

Right now, though, they’re barely far enough to create a Project Manticore handgun, let alone a power source, and it’s flimsy. Stark isn’t working f*cking hard enough or fast enough. This new prototype better be impressive, or Ross is going to call Charlie and put his ass on the rack.

TUESDAY, MAY 15 — 12:00 PM

Helen Cho’s first round of tests yields nothing, but Pepper’s increasing nausea and sudden fever a few days later brings her back to Dr. Cho for a second round of testing.

With some medication, her fever is down to a manageable level, and Pepper Potts is lying on her back on the examination table, nude save her medical gown. She has folded her clothes nearly on the chair in the corner. Her underwear and bra are tucked inside of her folded pants, and her shirt is on top. She bought that shirt with Tony; he said it looked like something her Uncle Morgan would wear, with all of the florals, and it made her laugh so hard that she ended up buying it anyway.

She can’t remember why she wore it today; it seems stupid now.

Helen is readying a syringe for her blood draw when Pepper finally starts, “Can I ask you something?”

Helen says, “Anything.”

Pepper looks away as the needle gets close—the rubber tourniquet is tight around her arm, and her vein feels as exposed as the rest of her when Helen finally pricks her inner arm. “Why would someone threaten to kill themselves? Do they have to be…suicidal?”

At first, Dr. Helen Cho doesn’t answer. She finishes the blood draw with careful, practiced hands, removing one vial and placing the next. “Pepper,” she says calmly, “are you experiencing—”

“No,” she clarifies. “No. I’m not. It’s just a question, I swear.”

“It’s normal for people in high-stress positions to experience depressive thoughts, suicidal ideation—”

“Helen, I’m serious.”

Helen gives her a look of poorly disguised disbelief and returns to the vial. “Alright. Well… Is this about a real person?”

“No one you know,” Pepper answers.

Helen sighs. She waits, filling the next vial with Pepper’s blood, and removes it before she answers. “Does this person have a history of suicidal thoughts? Or attempts?”

At her question, Pepper tries to draw a picture of Tony’s mind in her own. After his kidnapping, Tony wasn’t exactly suicidal, but at the very least he was lacking in a desire to live. He seemed both intensely focused on his survival while, at the same time, being horrified by it completely. Although Tony refused to talk to a therapist after Afghanistan (he wouldn’t see one until years later, after the wormhole), Pepper did ask someone about Tony’s troubles. The therapist acknowledged his furious survivor’s guilt and post-traumatic stress disorder, both of which led to a hyper-vigilance concerning his body and his loved ones, but not his life.

After Afghanistan, Tony would have left that arc reactor inside of his chest until it killed him; but as long as he could protect his body from anyone trying to interfere, he would have refused medical help. Even if it meant saving his life.

All of this meant… Tony’s relationship with his survival was complicated.

“Kind of,” she answers finally, and her mind flashes so quickly to that moment: the gun pressed into Tony’s chin, his twitching trigger finger, his misery-filled eyes— “Thoughts, maybe.”

Helen finished filling the final vial, and she now removes the needle from her arm, pressing a cotton ball to the spot before it can well with blood. “I’m not exactly qualified in the psychiatric realm,” she starts, removing her gloves with a snap, “but if you want, I can get someone to come talk to you, someone who can get you a real diagnosis. Psychiatry isn’t really something I can help you with, unless all you need is some conversation. I do know some people, though. I could get someone to you within the week.”

“It’s not about me,” reiterates Pepper, although she’s speaking to the ceiling. “It’s not.”

Helen tells her that the blood testing will take less than a half-hour, so Pepper leaves the exam room. She collapses into a waiting-room chair next to a coffee table covered in magazines. These last few weeks have taken such a toll on her; she comes home every night to an empty bed, and she wakes every morning to an empty pillow. At night, she dreams of the way his hair smells and the way his hands move. It’s like Tony is dead instead of just locked away in his lab.

Footsteps from down the hall.

Pepper looks up to see a large man at the end of the hallway: Happy. He shuffles forth with his phone in hand. “Is this a bad time?” Happy asks. “Your secretary told me you were down at the clinic, but I didn’t think…” He stares down at her medical gown and her bare, unshaved legs. “Uh… Are you okay?”

Happy looks different; how did she not notice he’d grown a beard? He shuffles from one foot to the next. He’s always looked like an awkward teen in a grown man’s body, like he never got used to having bulk or muscles. “Just a checkup,” she says, nodding even though her fever is still making her sweat through her shivers. ‘What do you need?”

“Well, uh…” He glances down at his phone, which she now realizes is gripped tightly in his hand. “I wouldn’t bother when you’re, uh, busy, but… I can’t get ahold of Peter. And it’s worrying me, ‘cause usually I let the kid do his own thing, and I know he’s probably having a grand old time at his internship, but he’s been gone a long time. They said he might stay through summer break, but I can’t go all that time without checking at all, right? So I called the number that they left in the informational email and—straight to voicemail. I’ve called it so many times that it says the mailbox is full , Pepper. I don’t know why I didn’t call it before—I just assumed…”

Pepper stares at him.

“Parker,” he clarifies, after a beat. “Peter Parker. You know…” He looks around and his voice drops to a whisper. “Spider-Man?”

“I know who Peter is,” she states, with a tone of annoyance. She tries to look as CEO-esque as possible while sitting against a wall in a damp medical gown. “But… What? So they gave you the wrong number?”

Happy pauses where he is, and then he takes a step towards her, twisting his phone in his hands. “That’s the thing—it’s not a wrong number, Pepper. The voicemail: they claim to be the internship. And I left voicemails—a ton of them, but no response. It’s been like a week, and still nothing. And I can’t get ahold of May, either…” His face pinkens. “I know she went with him, but still. It was so sudden, and I haven’t heard from either of them…”

“Well, he’s doing research, Happy. Biochemistry in rural Alaska. It’s important work, and they said he was excited, but service might not be the best.”

Happy doesn’t look convinced. “Pepper, I’ve tried every angle. We should’ve gotten the place checked out—their website doesn’t lead anywhere, not even to a different phone number. And sure, there are names for the scientists, but they’re so general that it could be anyone , so it’s hard to find—”

“Happy,” she says, summoning the sliver of calm within her and trying to transfer it to him. “It’s just an internship. And maybe it wasn’t the fanciest, but he’s getting school credit and he’ll be back. I know you miss him, but I’m sure he’ll let you know as soon as he’s back. Right?”

“Pepper, come on. I mean, you’ve seen him with his phone. He can’t stay away from that thing! Do you honestly think he’d be gone for this long without contacting us?’

Pepper’s too tired to have this conversation. “Happy, he’s a kid. He got an internship he wanted, so he went.”

“But—”

“Look, if you’re this worried, then go ask his friends.” She fumbles for her phone and remembers she’s wearing her medical gown, and her phone is still sitting in her purse in the exam room. “I have their numbers, so I’ll text them to you, okay? I’m sure they’ve been keeping contact with him. Kids always find a way.”

Happy hesitates, and then he nods, and nods again. “Thanks,” he says, looking relieved. “No, you’re right. You’re right. He’s probably fine. Sorry to bother you.” He turns to leave, and then he turns back to her again. “Uh…forgot to ask. “How’re you feeling?”

Pepper sighs, and she puts on a smile for him. “I’m fine, Happy. Don’t worry about me.”

He nods, and he turns to leave again.

Pepper puts her head in her hands. Then, she hears him pivot, and she perks up, trying to seem normal again. Happy starts, “I, uh. I had a girlfriend once who… She had something like what happened to you, uh, happen to her, and she started kickboxing at this place upstate, not too far from here. I think it helped. I could give you the address, if you want.”

Pepper smiles, but she can’t force it to reach her eyes; it’s her official Pepper Potts smile, and there’s nothing behind it. “Thanks, Happy.”

Happy doesn’t say you’re welcome . He just makes a close-mouthed smile, kind of nods, stands there for a second as if to say something more, and walks away stiffly.’

Dr. Cho returns with the results barely ten minutes after Happy leaves. “Finally, something,” she says as she taps open her tablet. “Nothing too strange, but… Your hormone levels are unusually high: hCG, progesterone… I tested for some others, too, but those came back normal.”

Pepper is on the exam table again, hands crossed rigidly over her ribcage.

“But there is something,” the doctor continues. “It’s a start. From here, we can test for other hormones linked to the ones your test alerted.” Cho continues to click on her tablet; Pepper watches as form after form flashes on her screen. “You know, if I didn’t know any better, I’d think—” She pauses suddenly, stylus poised over the tablet. “You have an IUD?” she asks, blinking suddenly.

“Yeah,” answers Pepper from her lying position. Lying down seems to cure some of her nausea, although she does still feel hot.

“What kind?”

“Uh, Nexplanon? It’s one of the hormone ones.”

“I know,” says Helen, not to be pretentious but in medical agreement. “How long have you had it?”

Her doctor is now entirely engrossed in the tablet, and she has begun tapping away furiously. “Uh,” starts Pepper, intelligently.

She wishes she were clothed; having a conversation where she doesn’t know the exact answers doesn’t help her embarrassment when part of her gown-exposed ass is pressed to exam-table paper. She’s had IUDs since the early 2000s, but she only really gets them replaced when she remembers to. Ever since she became CEO of Stark Industries in 2008, she hasn’t been keeping up with medical appointments as well. She’s, well, busy . She barely makes time for checkups and mammograms. How is she supposed to remember the last time she went in to get her IUD replaced? So much has happened in the past decade: Loki’s takeover, Aldrich Killian’s kidnapping, the HYDRA-SHIELD fiasco, Ultron, the Avengers’ breakup, Peter… She can barely tag those to a date, let alone her IUD.

“Three years?” she settles on, finally. “Maybe?”

“Forget it, I got it,” says Helen, baring the tablet to her. “Does February of 2012 sound right to you?”

“Sure?” 2012… So, six years ago? How long did her IUD even last for?

“Okay, and your last period?”

Her neck is strained form looking up at Helen for so long, so she sinks it back into the papered headrest. “Don’t think I’ve had one for the past few months, Pepper says. “Maybe… Three months ago? I mean, I’ve been having them, but they’ve been…spotty. They’ve been getting lighter and lighter—but that’s normal, right? IUDs do that, my gynecologist said…” Helen is staring at her. “What? What’s wrong?”

“I’m sorry,” says Dr. Cho. “I didn’t think…” Finally, she puts her tablet down: facedown on the counter behind her. “I should’ve thought of it—I just thought, since Tony was gone…nevermind. I made an assumption as a friend, not as a doctor, and for that I apologize.” She wheels her stool forward, and Pepper realizes her gloves are back on. Her voice drops a little: less urgent, more gentle. “Can you tell me the last time you had sex?”

Pepper has never talked to Helen Cho about her sex life, and she never planned to. But Pepper is fearing the path the doctor is heading down, so she answers, “April. The…sixth.” She doesn’t want to clarify why she remembers exactly, but this moment is something she thinks about a lot. It was the night of the charity gala for the Yemeni Women’s Union, and Pepper had just put on that silky co*cktail dress, and she was leaned over her vanity comparing earrings. Tony stood openmouthed in the doorway, stopped halfway in whatever he had just been saying. His tie still draped around his neck and his shirt half-open, he approached her with that stupid grin. Pepper Potts , he said, with his voice all low, and she laughed and shook her head.

We’re gonna be late , she said, pointing an earring at him. Don’t do it. I just need you to zip me.

He grinned and grinned and grinned like a Cheshire Cat.

Oh my God, Tony, she said, a playful warning. Don’t…

Fine, fine, he murmured. At last he got to her, and he ran his hands over her arms, her waist, her back, until finally he zipped the back of the dress: slowly, gingerly, careful to move her unfinished hair out of the way. She felt the warmth of his breath on the back of her neck then, with her hair swept away. That familiar buzz rose within her, and her breath quickened. Tony .

Mm? He was so close to her then, his lips barely a hair from her neck. I’m not doing anything .

She turned around then to find his eyes half-closed; she slid her fingers under his collar and pushed him slightly backward, so that his legs hit the foot of the bed, his knees buckling from bumping the mattress, and gravity pulled him into a seated position. We’re going to be late , she says again, but instead of scolding him she moves forward so her knees are between his, and she nudged her leg forward to widen the gap.

Tony smirked and leaned back, chin up, still sitting at the foot of the bed with his arms propped up on his palms.

Pepper stood between his open legs and wound both ends of his loose tie around her hands, bringing his neck forward so that his face was closer. His open mouth… You ruin me, Tony , she said.

He said, Gladly, Ms. Potts.

What did she do wrong? What could she possibly have done between that moment and FRIDAY’s shutdown that could’ve caused him to hate her like this? To hate her enough to…

She rubs her head, as it has started to hurt. “Yeah,” she says. “April sixth.”

Pepper doesn’t want to think the words.

Dr. Cho keeps saying it, but Pepper’s mind skips over it. It’s too much. Instead, in an entirely unhelpful way, she imagines Tony beside her, making quips about gynecologists and holding her hand. He’d say something like, Damn, Helen, ask her on a date first . He always was the worst at telling jokes, but it was always the worst jokes that made her laugh.

They do a proper examination, in the stirrups and everything. Dr. Cho finds the IUD poised perfectly at her cervix, and, with a bit of localized anesthesia, removes it with barely a prick of pain. Helen then calls a colleague of hers—an ultrasound technician—who rubs translucent goo on her belly before drawing the plastic wand over her stomach.

“There it is,” says the technician, and he points at the sonogram on the screen beside Pepper. It’s a grainy image, but she supposes all sonograms are. It’s black and white. in the cave of her uterus on the screen, there’s a… He’s right. There it is. “We could do a transvagin*l ultrasound for a better picture, but you can see pretty well here.” He points again, drawing a circle with his gloved finger at the screen. “We can get you an accurate conception date, but I do a lot of these, and I’d guess we’re about…three months along at this point.”

The figure on the sonogram has a head and visible arms— “Helen,” Pepper breathes, and she’s feeling faint. “Helen—I… I don’t understand. I had the IUD, I didn’t… How can I…”

Helen comes to stand beside her. She is ungloved again, and she takes Pepper’s hand in hers. “Some IUDs can last that long, Pepper, but not the kind you had. Nexplanon usually expires after about four years. And every day after it expires, your chances of pregnancy go up. You had an expired one for over two years . Something had to give.”

“But I…” she starts again. She swallows, and she tries to remember she’s Pepper Potts, CEO of Stark Industries. “This isn’t how it was supposed to…” Why can’t she finish a single sentence? “I don’t have…”

Tony is what she wants to say more than anything. I don’t have Tony .

The technician continues talking, but Pepper isn’t listening. “The IUD was hormonal, but luckily it had almost entirely stopped releasing by the time we got to it, so it looks like it hasn’t affected the fetus at all, so there’s no need for worry on that front. Plus, I think the fever was just your body’s reaction to some leftover hormones released by the combined IUD and pregnancy…”

“Fetus,” echoes Pepper. A wave of nausea as powerful as usual bubbles up in her chest and into her throat, but now she knows it’s not simply illness. This isn’t just something she can fix . “Oh, God.”

It’s not just nausea. It’s morning sickness.

TUESDAY, MAY 15 — 12:41 PM

The doctor becomes less amicable as the day goes on.

His pleasant demeanor turns into something dark and sullen; the gravity of his situation weighs on the man. He keeps staring off into space. At some point, he removes his rubber gloves and grasps the Star of David around his neck. He kisses it: once, twice, three times, and Riri turns away before he can do it again. It feels far too personal to watch. He then puts on another set of gloves and works on Peter. He gets every single wound, even the ones not worthy of stitches, taping closed little slices on his arms and dabbing numbing ointment on his bruises. It’s completely unnecessary, but he does it nonetheless.

Eventually, he finishes that, too. “We’ve done all we can do for now,” he says.

For some reason, his comment really pisses Riri off. “You’re not done,” she insists. “He still looks like…”

“Like he’s been to hell?” he prompts. “Well, he’s still there, hon.”

“But—”

“He’s not just going to magically get better as soon as I lay my hands on him. That’s not how medicine works. Sometimes the best you can do is sit and wait.”

They don’t tie him back down. The doctor stops her the first time she tries, so she doesn’t try again. She doesn’t really want to do it again: the leather straps around skin-and-bone, tightened to the point of chafing. She doesn’t want to see Peter’s—Parker’s—face as he wakes: the strangling panic of realizing he’s tied down, followed by the terror of being unable to move, and then the all-consuming grief as he realizes he won’t be able to escape. She can’t do it again.

Parker half-wakes at some point as the guard outside is changing. Now, it’s that tall girl and Haroun. “I'm tired,” mumbles Peter, and his words feel as though they are drenched in sweat. He opens his eyes, but they’re pink and so watery that when he blinks, liquid spills down his temple. “I'm so tired, Mr. Stark… Please… I just wanna go home… Please, please…” He falls back to sleep almost as quickly as he wakes.

Besides his random, feverish mumbles, Peter has been asleep for a long time. Dr. Skivorski says it’s normal, but Riri’s not so sure.

“His body’s gone through a lot,” he says. “You can’t do this to him constantly and expect him not to wither like this. The human body is only meant to take so much.”

“He’s not human,” Riri says, like it helps.

The doctor only gives her a dark look.

After that, the doctor sits. He sits and sits and stares at Peter’s unconscious body. The kid looks like a corpse. “Why is he here?” he snaps.

“What?” answers Riri, because she’s not sure she heard him right.

“Why. Is. He. Here.” The doctor shakes his head. “What kind of reason could you possibly have for doing… For making him…” He wipes at his forehead with the back of his wrist. “Just tell me.”

“Um,” she says. She tries to explain as well as she can, mostly because the doctor has started to look at her the way he looks at Jon or Nick—with barely-contained revulsion. She tries to explain Stark’s usefulness, Charlie’s plan, and Peter’s sessions, but as she does, the doctor’s eyes only grow wider and he draws his surgical mask down to his chin. His mouth looks horrified, too. She had thought it would reassure the man, knowing that they were doing this for a good cause, but Dr. Skivorski looks like she just stabbed his kid in the throat. “You’re using him,” he repeats, “to blackmail his dad ? Who is Tony Stark?”

She slaps her hand over her mouth. “Oh, f*ck.” She’s said too much. She never mentioned Tony Stark by name, had she? Maybe one of the others had dropped the name… sh*t! The doctor isn’t one of her friends, or Haroun, or Zhiyuan, or anyone she could talk to about this stuff. Telling him this was throwing him under the bus and signing him up for his own execution. “You weren’t supposed to know that…”

“You’re blackmailing his dad ?” he repeats, ignoring her comment. It’s strange that he’s focusing more on the dad part than on the Tony Stark part. “That’s why he looks like he’s been torn apart by a pack of wolves?”

“We’re gonna let him go as soon as he gives us what we—”

“It doesn’t matter!” His stool is spun now so that he faces her, and his surgical mask hangs around his neck. His face looks different; it must be because he hasn’t shaved. There’s a bit of five o-clock shadow on him now, stubble freckling his lower face. “You understand what you’re doing, don’t you? You’re—this—this is a crime! This is—this is torture!”

Riri swallows. The good doctor is standing now, and he’s much, much taller than her, and he’s scowling. Riri swallows. ‘You’re making it sound bad. We’re not, like, permanently disfiguring him. We feed him and clothe him and the Lang kid keeps him company… There’s people out there who don’t even have that.”

The doctor is aghast. “ What ?”

“Um,” says Riri again.

“Hon,” he starts, and he sounds like an angry dad. “Look at this kid on the table and tell me that’s not permanent disfigurement ! I have never, in all my days, holy —I’ve never even close to seen someone injured like this—and I'm a surgeon! Have you seen his scarring? He looks like Edward Scissorhands! And we’re lucky he’s enhanced because otherwise—that hit could very well have killed him! Look at him! You see what he looks like now? People don’t just come back from this, Riri! He looks like he’s been… Like he’s… God, it’s sick! You people are sick! How long have you been—this is the definition of torture! How could you do something like this!”

He looks at her, then, really looks at her, and his eyes drop to her hands.

Her gun’s out.

Riri doesn’t remember taking it out—she just knows she’s really scared now and her finger’s on the trigger.

The doctor puts his hands up, fingers spread, but he doesn’t look scared. “Riri,” he says, and he’s calmer, his voice down to a normal volume. “You could get out of here. You’re a kid, just like him. You really want to be a part of this? You want this” —he gestures at Peter— “to be your life? You could walk through those doors and be free—confess, tell them what happened. They hurt you, didn’t they?” He points with a crooked finger at her face, where her bruised eye is already darkening. “They hurt you. You can say they made you do it.”

“I can’t,” she says, still holding the gun. “I can’t.”

“You can .”

“I can’t!”

For the first time since she kidnapped the doctor, Riri feels completely out of control. Her gun-arm is shaking, and she looks at the boy—Parker. Peter Parker. He looks much younger now that he is unconscious. He looks like a doll. A mutilated person-sized doll. She lowers her gun and sits down at her stool. “I’m not like him,” she says, gesturing vaguely with her gun. It’s not hers, exactly. She thinks Charlie bought it for her at some point at a gun show. Something small and easy to use. Something that would keep her safe, he said. “This is my life . It was always gonna be. I can’t just leave it.”

The doctor doesn’t say anything.

“What’s your kid like?” asks Riri, as the doctor rechecks Parker’s head.

“Well,” says Dr. Skivorski, “he likes to fix things. He’s just like his mom—she’s a mechanic. We used to live in Tennessee, you know, and we had a huge yard where we kept old cars and other things… He liked to fiddle.”

“Tennessee?” she echoes. “How’d you end up here?”

“I…” He sniffs. “I used to drink a lot, back then. Harley was…ten. I left him and his mom for a while, after that, and by the time I got sober he was in high school. They’d moved up here, so I found a job close by. We got to be a normal family again, or, as normal as we could be, I suppose, but… I don’t think Harley ever forgave me after that.”

“Is that his name?”

The good doctor smiles. “Yeah. Harley. His mom wanted to name him after the motorcycle, can you believe it? Mechanics.” He’s got one hand on Peter’s now, and Peter has subconsciously curled his fingers around the doctors. “Your name is pretty interesting—how’d they name you?”

“My dad’s name was Demetrius, but everyone called him Riri,” she explains. “So I’m a junior, kind of. Riri, Jr.”

“Where is he now?” he asks carefully.

“Dead,” she says.

“And your mom?”

“Dead, too.”

Dr. Skivorski swallows. “Do you have anyone else? Any other family?”

“A brother,” she says, and she wants to eat his name as soon as she thinks it. “Got killed running around with Charlie.”

The doctor’s still holding Parker’s hand. “Is that why you stick around?”

Riri scowls. f*ck him. “You ask too many questions.” There’s different guards at the door now: skinny, silent Lyle and giant Glenn with his broken arm. Riri can see them from their position in the operating room. “Look—this place, I have a family here. I can’t just up and leave.”

The doctor doesn’t rise to her jab. “Hon, I’ve had time to come to terms with the things I’ve done. Abandoning my family—my son—was the worst regret of my entire life. But I’ve had time to try to remedy my mistakes. To mend my relationship with my son. You… You’re young. You’ve made mistakes. So… What are you going to do to remedy them?”

“I don’t need to remedy anything,” snaps Riri. “This wasn’t a mistake. We’re doing this—we have a plan, okay? And we’re gonna save the world. We don’t just take random people. We’re gonna help people. We’re not—” She’s about to say criminals , but she supposes helping to kidnap a man directly out of his workplace to force him to tend to a kidnapped minor at threat to his life might count as criminal activity. “We’re not bad people.”

“You think good people do this?” he says, gesturing to Parker. “Hon— look at him.”

She looks at Peter. He really does look like he’s been torn apart by a pack of wolves. He looks more Frankenstein-y now than ever—his pale body lined with stitched gashes, half his head shaved and bandaged, unnaturally thin, covered in tubes and medical tape.

“Charlie says,” she starts, “that sometimes you have to do bad things to get good things to happen in the future.”

The doctor just shakes his head. “Is he the one who does all this?”

He doesn’t have to say what; she knows what he’s talking about. “Yeah, mostly.” The doctor clicks his tongue, and Riri gets angry again. “He’s not all bad. He’s just an addict, okay? And Ross gives him what he wants. It’s not like he wants to hurt anybody. He’s a good guy. He’s just not in control.”

With one bloody glove, the doctor waves a hand over Peter. “It sure looks like he wants to hurt somebody.”

“No—he’s just high. He always gets high before he does it. He’s not… He’s not…”

“Riri, listen to me.” The doctor keeps holding Peter’s hand. “I was an alcoholic. I know what it’s like to be an addict. There are some people who… Listen. Yes, I drank way too much. But I never laid a hand on my wife or my son, no matter how drunk I was. I mostly just moped and embarrassed myself. But the point is, I never hit him or anyone because I never wanted to hurt him. When it comes to substances and violence… If everyone got violent every time they got drunk, then we’d be living in anarchy. It’s not about the substance. It just amplifies what’s already there.

“If your friend likes hurting kids when he’s high, then he likes it when he’s sober. It’s just there’s something stopping him when he’s sober. Does he usually look like he’s being forced to do it?”

“Um,” says Riri.

The doctor adds, “How does he look at Peter?”

Riri doesn’t have to say it out loud. Charlie always looks at Peter like he wants to hurt him, whether he’s sober or not.

She knows Charlie had a sh*tty childhood. Abusive dad, addict mom, the works. He had a sister once, too, but she didn’t get addicted like him. That’s all they really know. He’ll mumble about some of this stuff, about how he misses his sister or how his dad used to beat him with a belt.

It makes him difficult sometimes.

“These are kids,” continues the doctor. “Their lives shouldn’t be like this, no matter what their parents have done. No matter what you need them to do. They’re not toys. They’re people . They’re children .”

They sit in silence for a long time. The doctor keeps fiddling with Peter’s wounds, injecting localized anesthesia into the worst of his injuries and holding his hand whenever he gets too fitful. Dr. Skivorski sits and stares. His expression isn’t exactly sad or angry but something more intense than either—like a serial killer who’s planning where to bury a body. Serial killers don’t scowl , Riri thinks. Charlie doesn’t scowl. Charlie smiles.

Riri hates the silence. With so many people around her all the time, there’s usually someone talking; sitting with the doctor, there’s nothing but brooding silence. She can’t help but talk. Riri talks about Haroun and Charlie and Renee and the other two until finally the doctor looks up.

“The other two?” he repeats. He frowns suddenly. “Wait, wait, wait—who’re the other ones?”

“The other what?”

“The other ones—the other people you took. There’s Peter Parker, and then…” He’s looking for a name, she suddenly realizes, and she’s hesitant to give him one.

She thinks, suddenly, of the way Stark talked about Parker. They’re torturing my son, he said, and he looked at her like he was being falyed alive. Like he was being stripped of his skin in layers, until nothing but pink, bloody muscle remained. He looked like she was killing him, like inside he was screaming as she rubbed salt into his open wounds.

“Lang,” she says finally. “The girl.” For a second, she forgets the kid’s first name. No one calls her that, anyway. No one but Peter and Scott. Scott says her name a lot, in whispers and crazed shouts to no one in particular. “The kid under the bed,” she clarifies, because Dr. Skivorski still looks confused.

“Oh,” says the good doctor. “I forgot about her.” He laughs, but there’s something wrong with the sound. “I forgot about her. Can’t believe I forgot about an entire kid that you took because I’ve been so busy bringing this one back to life.” He shakes his head. “Is she injured?”

“No, she’s… I mean, what do you mean by injured?”

He frowns. “Is she hurt or not?”

She shrugs, sheepish. “Well, not like recently , but sometimes Charlie gets pissed, and he gets ahold of her before anyone can stop him, and he…”

“Go get her.” He sounds like a dad again.

“We can’t. You’re only here for Peter, remember?”

He shakes his head. “It’s my job to help people in need, hon. Go get her.”

TUESDAY, MAY 15 — 1:53 PM

No one talks to Scott anymore.

He knows something is going on, but no one talks to him. Last night, he heard his little girl’s voice—Cassie, Cassie, sweet, stubborn Cassie—screaming for help. Peter! Peter! Peter! Peter! Not once did she scream for him. Peter, wake up! Wake up! Scott could hear her—his little girl—shrieking and shrieking and crying and shrieking more. No, no, no! No, no, Peter, Peter…

She’s screaming about that boy, the one who’s always in the Chair, the one who Scott watches bleed all the time. He saw it happen, too. Mason’s hammer. Jon’s hands. Peter’s head. The collision like a meteor to a moon. Peter, Peter, please! Peter!

He remembers the fear in her voice so clearly, as though it was yesterday: Help! Help! Ava, Ava, Ava, help! Peter! Peter! Wake up!

Scott can’t usually hear them. Peter Parker and Cassie are usually too far down the hall for him to hear anything at all. But when they scream… He hears everything.

He never sees Cassie. Usually, she stays quiet, so quiet that sometimes he’s not sure she’s still alive, or even there. He sees her sometimes—flashes of her around the empty room, glimpses of her voice ringing in his ears.

Peter used to give him updates—as little as he could before Charlie came at him with a fist or a knife—about her well-being. As Scott hid behind the computer, Peter would crane his neck to meet his eyes. She’s okay! he’d shout. She misses you!

Now, Peter knows better. The only signal he ever gives Scott is a slight nod in his direction, sometimes accompanied by a glance.

He wants to know what’s happening. All he knows is Cassie is no longer screaming Peter’s name. That’s not enough for him. He has to know that Cassie’s okay. That Peter’s okay.

But no one talks to Scott anymore.

TUESDAY, MAY 15 — 2:12 PM

Cassie remembers once what Peter told her during the first week. It was only the third day, or maybe the fourth or fifth, or was it the first?

Yes, the first day. Before they had tried to take him away and he had stuck his magic hands to the floor.

Before. When they take me , he said, I want you to take the pillow. And you’re gonna take it and go under the blankets and put the pillow around your head, okay? And press down, hard, with your hands. You might hear something, but it’s nothing, okay? it’s nothing you should listen to.

And she kept asking, no matter how many times he said it or how disturbed he looked, asking Why? And she repeated it, asking, Why, why, why, why, until finally he looked at her.

Peter’s eyes looked very brown and his face looked very still. He said, Cassie, just do this. Please. For me. And when I get back we can play another game but only once I get back, okay? Until then, you have to close your ears.

Later, Cassie’s hand was messed up, so Peter showed her how to do it with only one hand, pinning the pillow between the bed and her head, and then putting her good hand over her other ear.

But Cassie is not always a good listener. The first few times, she did as she was told, muffling all the sounds around her with the pillow and hiding under their sheets. But she always heard something . Loud sounds, ones that couldn’t be quieted by a pillow. And she was curious—she has always been a curious kid—so one day, maybe after the first week, she disobeyed Peter. Instead of putting the pillow around her head, she crept over to the food slot, and she pressed her ear against it, and she listened.

She felt so sick when she heard it, like that time she and Daddy got the flu.

It started with begging. She hadn’t heard him beg like that. Peter was strong, right? He didn’t beg. He was never scared—and then she’d heard it. “No…” it began. “No, please, please, no, get away from me, get the f*ck away!

Eerie silence. Other noises, like a man talking over a phone. Charlie’s voice. These other sounds were quieter, and much harder to pick out from down their room all the way down the hall.

Please, no. no, wait, wait, wait—I’ll do anything—Charlie, no—CHARLIE CHARLIE PLEASE PLEASE—GET AWAY FROM ME DON’T DON’T DON’T—

And then the screaming.

And “Shut up! Shut up!” from Charlie, the Big-Man.

Then it would stop. and she would hear sighing, crying, broken moans, all of this breathing that was so loud it was almost like Peter was right there beside her. Then more begging. “Please, Mr. Stark, please.”

A cut-off whimper and: “Tell him, Parker.”

Crying. Peter’s crying. “It hurts, please… 'M so tired… I can’t… Mr. Stark, please, just do it…”

And more screaming.

Then it would stop again. Charlie would yell stuff, crazy stuff, stuff she’d heard him say to her, like “I’m gonna rip you to pieces!” or “I f*cking own you!” or “Shut up! Shut the f*ck up!” She’d heard it all before, but it didn’t make it any less scary.

And then the worst part. Peter again. “NO—no, no—I HATE YOU, I f*ckING HATE YOU—YOU JUST HAVE TO DO THIS ONE THING—PLEASE, JUST THIS ONE THING, I HATE YOU TONY I HATE YOU, YOU NEVER WANTED TO SAVE ME, I—” Screaming that devolves into rapid sobbing. Ragged breathing, each exhale a moan of pain. “Oh, god, oh, god….” Pained breathing. The breathing was the worst part, because she could picture Charlie in those moments, just watching Peter suffer. A sudden yelp. “No more,” he’d moan. “Please. Please. Please, I can’t TAKE IT ANYMORE —”

And it would keep going, just like that, until his time was up. Cassie usually counts with her ears closed, and it’s usually about an hour. Peter always tells her to count sixty sixties. She counts in Mississippi’s, just like Daddy and Jim taught her to, but when she’s bored she counts with other things. Spider-Mans. Ice creams. Bowls of ramen.

Then she’d hear the muffled door slam through her shut ears, and a body would flop onto the concrete floor. She knew to keep them shut still; Peter liked to compose himself before she saw him. Sometimes she could hear him sob beside her, but she pretended not to hear.

Eventually, she’d feel a hand. On her head or her foot or her shoulder. She’d let go of the pillow and remove the blanket from over her head. And there would be Peter, sweating and bleeding, sometimes bent and broken, sometimes so bruised he could barely breathe right. “Hey, Stinger,” he’d say. “Have a good nap?”

He calls her Stinger sometimes because her nails got so long, that when they’d play Poke, having her poke at his head to see where he was injured, it would sometimes hurt anyway, little sharp pokes from her fingernails. They figured out later they had to bite their fingernails whenever they got too long for the extra calories, but the name still stuck.

And Cassie would say, “Yes,” and Peter would nod and she’d get the pillow and put it under his head before helping him tend to whatever Charlie had done that day.

She knows how to sew up gashes kinda well, but only the small ones, and only if Peter was too tired to do it himself. She knows not to touch his head without permission unless it’s bleeding, not to touch any bones that look broken, to put a teeny tiny bit of antibiotic cream on anything that bleeds, to wrap and hold anything that bleeds a lot, and to call for help if things get, as Peter says, “really bad.”

She’s smart, Peter always says, when she learns something new to fix him because he can’t do it himself.

But Peter is gone now and Cassie doesn’t know what to do. Should she pull the blanket over her head and press the pillow over her ears? Should she try to listen for him? It’s not his time to be with Charlie, and he’s been gone way, way too long. So what should she do?

The visitors in her room are gone now, but the handcuff remains. No one remembered to take it off, she thinks, but they did take off Peter’s before they took him.

He’s warned her about what they might do if he’s ever gone. If that happens , he told her, you have to get under the bed and stay there. It’s not like she has much choice now, handcuffed to the leg of the bed. She knows she’s safest here, so she’ll stay.

Cassie feels like crying.

Charlie hates it when they cry. If he can hear it, he’ll come to their Room and throw open the door and grab her by the hair and hit her really hard if Peter isn’t fast enough.

Peter says it makes him feel guilty. The crying. That’s why he doesn’t want to hear it: because it reminds him that he’s doing something bad.

Cassie thinks Charlie is just bad, bad, bad. He is, right? she asked him once. Bad?

Peter was lying on his back with the IV sticking out of his arm. He looked at her with his sleepy eyes. Asking the hard questions today, huh, Cass?

She shrugged. Mommy says people who hurt other people are bad. Evil, like Darth Vader.

Peter slow-blinked. You watched Star Wars?

Just the first one. Mommy said Jim shouldn’t’a showed me ‘cause people die in the movie and the white people killed Luke’s parents and then Darth Vader kills Oni Wan and then they all win.”

He blinked again. The what now?

Remember? When he hits Oni Wan with the lightsaber and— Cassie demonstrated with her good hand: swing, swing!— then he’s gone! That’s ‘cause he killed him. That’s what happens when you hit somebody! You go away and your clothes are on the floor and you’re dead and you come back but you’re see-through and blue like a ghost.

Peter laughed and then he winced. I meant the white people, Cass. Who’re the…” He stops . “The stormtroopers? You mean the stormtroopers?

Yeah, them! They killed Luke’s parents and left them all burny in the sand.

Those weren’t his parents. Those were his aunt and uncle—and please for the love of God, do not call them white people again. He was laughing. It was a good sound to hear from Peter—he didn’t laugh a lot anymore. He has a funny laugh: high and free and so, so happy.

She was still confused about the movie. I don't get it, she said. They took care of him, so why aren’t they his parents?

I mean, I guess they are. Kind of.

Clearly, Peter didn’t know what parents were. She told him, matter-of-factly, Jim says parents are the people who take care of you. And it doesn’t matter if they’re related to you, okay, because we’re family, and family means you take care of each other, and family makes sure—makes sures—make sures—family makes sures you are safe and have enough to eat, and family loves you no matter what… She trailed off. Wait, how old are you?

How old do you think I am?

She thought about it. Thirty?

His sleepy eyes bug out. Thirty? he repeats, and he starts laughing again. Wow, Cass, you’re really dragging me down today. God. I literally don’t have one gray hair.

Forty? she tries again.

I'm sixteen, Cass.

Cassie's jaw drops. But you’re a superhero! You save people!

What, sixteen-year-olds can’t be superheroes?

She shrugs. I don't know. Daddy’s a superhero and he’s super old. He showed me—he has lots of gray on his head now. Mommy calls it salt and pepper. She wrinkles her nose. But you don’t have the gray hairs, right, so are you old enough?

Old enough to what?

Be a…a Mommy. A Daddy. A parent.

Peter's laughter died. His head turned, and he looked at her then so strangely. What are you talking about?

Well, that’s what you are, right? You do everything Jim does, everything Mommy and Daddy do… and you’re not related to me but Jim isn’t related to me, so that’s okay. And you’re a little grown-up, but some grown-ups are more littler so you’re my parent, too, right? That’s how it works.

Only silence from Peter. She can feel him breathing against her side.

You wake me up in the morning and you tell me stories at night and you make sure I have food and you keep me safe from the bad guys. That's a Mommy or a Daddy or a Jim thing.

More quiet. Just Peter’s slow breathing. I guess so , he said, and Cassie was too tired to talk anymore, so she hugged Peter's bruised-black arm—he breathed in sharply, and then settled—before hiding her face in the sleeve of his hoodie.

Now, it’s hard to have conversations with Peter. He’s always so tired. He sleeps a lot, and he watches her play from his spot on the floor, but he can barely move. When it’s time for them to go to bed, they don’t bother trying to get him up on the bed anymore. He’s too tired and in too much pain to move up there, so they sleep on the floor, under their blanket, with their pillow beneath Peter’s head and her head on Peter’s stomach. They only have one pillow, so it works this way.

She wants to cry again, but she doesn’t. She waits and waits and waits. They’ve taken Peter at strange times before, but never for so long and never like this.

Without him, she is frantic, almost wild with worry, but she knows she can’t cry. Crying means Charlie will come and take her and beat her bloody or hand her off to the Red-Haired Lady to put the needle in. The thought of that needle, the needle with its fiery pain that bites like shark teeth, of the white-hot pain that comes and keeps coming… It sends a wave of fear through her so powerful that she feels like the needle’s already in her.

She listens as hard as she can. What if Renee’s already coming? What’s that sound? Is it the Red-Haired Lady, readying her needle?

She can’t help the tears that come then, and she stifles as much noise as she can, hiccuping and gasping, snot running into her mouth, her breathing growing uneven and stilted with terror. Peter’s gone; he won’t be able to protect her this time. She tries to think about what Peter would do, but she’s so blinded by the fear vibrating in her chest that all she can think is Iron Man, Iron Man, Iron Man.

When the door opens this time, just like she knew it would, she screams and immediately closes her mouth to try to muffle the sound. She knew they would come, because she’s crying when she’s not supposed to. Who will it be? Big-Man and his hammer? Red-Haired Lady and her needle? She stretches back as far as she can under the bed, but her cuffed hand only lets her go so far. Her hand is stuck there, out in the open where it can be grabbed or hit or twisted, and she knows how bad that is.

The door is open but whoever is on the other side is lingering in the doorway. She is so exposed like this, her good hand cuffed to the bed’s leg and her bad one still wrapped up in her hoodie. She’s useless , unable to protect herself at all.

The intruder is not one of the men but one of the girls. The black one. She is much cleaner than the last time Cassie saw her, and she is dressed in strange clothing—turquoise pants and shirt, and a matching cap stretched over her tight curls. “Hey,” says the black girl. “Cassie, right?”

Cassie bursts into tears.

Chapter 8: the dead little bird

Summary:

This one, this one has to be it. After this weapon, they’ll let him see Peter.

He has to finish this. He has to. It’s been too long—Peter is dying over there. He has to work faster.

“f*ck!” he screams, although there is no one there to listen.

Maybe, somewhere, Peter is listening…

Notes:

chap title from 'moon song' by phoebe bridgers

for alll of u wondering why it took me so long to update, well part of that is i was gonna kill off the doctor but it seems like he’s a big hit haha, so i has to change the plot for the next few chapters — hopefully y’all enjoy having him around

i'm sick rn so i think i'll have time to complete another chapter, enjoy!!

CW: mentions of violence/injury, blood, references to sexual experiences and possible sexual abuse, violence against a child

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

TUESDAY, MAY 15 — 2:48 PM

In the hours since he last saw Peter on the screen—now, nearly twenty hours since.

He’s thought about last night so many times now that the memory has become almost fried from overuse. Charlie with the blowtorch, waving it near Peter’s ear. The hissing, the heat of it… All at once Peter had gone wild in fear, thrashing so hard he’d broken free. His fear was so physical in that moment; he thrashed like a madman, screaming and crying until his voice gave out in a croaked crack—yet no one had touched him yet. He looked so young, then. Like a boy.

And with his still free hand, Peter lashed out, throwing his fist into the nearest object: a guard’s face. With a violent roar, the guard had grabbed that hammer and cracked it against his kid’s skull, so hard that Peter had gone instantly limp.

The way he fell…

It was like the guard had killed him. He went sideways with the impact, and the cuffs of the chair were the only thing that held him up, his cuffed wrist twisted by his awkward position. Gravity dribbled blood down the kid’s neck. He looked like a f*cking rag doll—pale and unconscious and bleeding and draped over that chair.

The guards had swarmed around the kid, so it was impossible to see what was happening, and they’d dragged him from the room far earlier than usual, after only a few minutes past seven. Left on the silent television was the spill of blood from Peter’s chair, one that led all the way out of the room like a trail of breadcrumbs. Like the trail of liquid from a water gun, or a splatter of sauce from a leaky pot.

It didn’t look real, but it was; every drop came from Peter’s body. From his head.

Tony can’t forget it. The blood. The trail of blood. Is Peter still alive? The video is a live feed; therefore, he can’t go back and rewatch what happened so he can check whether or not the kid is breathing. He wishes he could. He’d watch it a thousand times if it would tell him whether or not Peter was alive.

He thinks of it—that moment—over and over and over again: blowtorch, punch, hammer, blood. Blowtorch, punch, hammer, blood.

All he has is his memory, and it’s fraying by the second. His lack of sleep isn’t helping, either. Did Peter even manage to get his arm free, or was that a figment of his imagination? It wouldn’t be the first time he’s imagined things: sleep deprivation is too easily a cause of hallucinations.

Blowtorch, punch, hammer, blood.

His world has become so small. The people are limited to those involved with Peter. Charlie, Riri. Charlie, Riri. He doesn’t even have FRIDAY anymore. FRIDAY is dead, long dead. He finds himself talking to JARVIS (or Jarvis, sometimes) to pass the time. Jarvis was always there for him as a kid, and he finds JARVIS is here for him now, the voice in the back of his head that helps him figure things out.

He no longer finds himself worrying about things he used to worry about all the time. Being late to lunch with Rhodey. Making it to therapy on time. Remembering Pepper’s dislike for pickles. Meeting Peter in Central Park just to watch him throw chunks of bread at the birds until his “not girlfriend” tells him it’s bad for their digestive systems.

Oh, Peter and that girl… They were so sweet together. Nervous as only young people could be. Peter had been rambling about Hamilton and how much MJ and he loved it, so Tony bought them tickets to the show last December. There wasn’t any other option, really, because Peter wouldn’t stop texting him gifs of bootlegged clips and funny fanart. Hamilton was the one time Peter had let him get involved in his love life.

Tony Stark’s never been one for Broadway. Too much drama. But Peter Parker has other ideas, so somehow Tony ends up with four Broadway tickets to Hamilton so he and Pepper can sit two rows back from Peter and his ‘not girlfriend’ as they unashamedly mouth every word to the musical.

At intermission, Peter discreetly passes him a couple dollars like he’s on Breaking Bad and asks Tony to buy them Skittles. He and Pepper stand in line for twenty minutes and barely make it back in time to pass the kids their candy. As the stage lights dim, he and Pepper watch as they sort the colors between them. Red and purple for Peter, green and orange for MJ, and yellow for both.

Yeah. And the kid said she ‘wasn’t’ his girlfriend.

Somewhere in the second act, MJ tips her head onto Peter’s shoulder. Onstage, Alexander Hamilton and Eliza walk around dressed in all black, and a solemn piano plays. They watch as Peter tenses, then relaxes, and then settles his head over hers. It doesn’t last long—immediately after, a song about the election of 1800 picks up and the girl lifts her head as though nothing happened, and they go back to their obsessive lyric-reciting.

Peter may not know this, but he’s gonna sneak those dollars back into Pete’s backpack later tonight. He swears on everything he loves that the kid’s never gonna owe him a dollar.

After the show, they pile into the car; with Tony beside her, Pepper drives, and the kids pile into the backseat. All the way back to Queens, those goofballs giggle in the back, reciting parts of the Cabinet Battles and pretending to die in each other’s arms, Philip Hamilton-style. It’s sweet.

They drop off MJ first.

Her mom is on the fire escape with another woman when they drive up, and they both wave as the car comes to a stop before the building. Although MJ says not to worry, Peter still straightens his tie, takes a breath, hops out of the car, and chases after her so he can walk her up. Pepper grabs his arm as he does and squeals. “Tony,” she sighs, “oh, look at him.”

He’s gone for only a couple moments inside MJ’s apartment building, but when he comes back he looks different. More pensive, maybe. A little flustered. He gets back in his seat, buckles his seatbelt, and sits.

The drive back is quiet. Pepper spends far less time with the kid than Tony does, so she doesn’t exactly notice the kid’s sullen demeanor. “Did she have a good time?” she asks, glancing in the rearview mirror to look at Peter.

“Yeah,” he says.

“Did you?”

“Yeah,” he says again. “Thanks for the tickets, Ms. Potts.”

“Pepper,” she corrects, with a laugh. “Oh, I’m glad. Tony liked it, didn’t you, honey?”

Tony nods. “Oh, yeah.” He didn’t know much about Alexander Hamilton before the play, and he’s not sure he knows much more now, except that the guy liked to rap. “It was pretty good. Especially if you’re into…presidents.”

Pepper laughs. The kid doesn’t.

The conversation goes on like this, mostly between Tony and Pepper, until finally his fiancée mentions the girl again. “Just remember,” she says, “if you two want to do anything…physical, just make sure you’re safe, alright?”

Peter mumbles a “yeah,” and Tony hears him shuffling from behind him.

“We can get you condoms” —Pepper takes one hand off the wheel to tap Tony’s shoulder— “We can get him condoms, right, Tony?”

“Oh, yeah,” says Tony, agreeing now. He’s still a little shaken by Peter’s sudden quiet manner, but he falls into Pepper’s conversation. “Anything you need. Protection is important. Condoms…”

“Dental dams…”

“…Diaphragms, whatever you need.”

“There’s other kinds, too—spermicides, stuff like that—but most of those are, eh, pretty ineffective. Just stick to the basics. Physical barriers work best.”

Pepper nods in agreement. “Whatever you need, we can get it for you. You can figure out what feels best for you and your partner—”

“—or partners,” adds Tony.

“And whatever it is, we’ll get it for you. And this applies to whoever you’re with, honey.”

“Okay, okay,” mutters Peter. There’s a touch of contempt in his voice. “I got it.”

Tony never got the talk from his dad, but he did get it from his mom; he knows how humiliating this must feel. “There’s no need to feel shy about it,” he adds. “These kinds of feelings are normal for every teenager. But it’s important to know how to keep yourself safe, okay? Especially if it’s your first time with this kind of thing. Is it her first relationship?”

Peter’s voice sounds sharp. “I don’t know.”

Pepper chimes in, “Well, you should probably find out. It’s really important to know someone’s boundaries before you start…advancing physically in a relationship. You should make sure you talk about everything.”

“Pep and I still do, don’t we?” Tony adds. Pepper makes a sound of agreement. “Communication is key.”

“Yeah, safe sex isn’t all about getting pregnant, you know.”

Tony continues, “It’s about making sure both you and your partner are being safe with each other. Is this your first relationship, too?” That’s probably contributing to his nerves. It must be.

Quiet from the back. “Yeah,” Peter says, after a moment’s hesitation, and then he’s speaking too fast. “Well, kinda. I don’t know. I—I’ve never done this before. The whole—the girlfriend thing.”

Tony looks to the rearview mirror, where he can see Peter with his mouth pressed together in a thin line. He squints at the kid. “Kinda?” he repeats.

Peter clearly was not expecting a follow-up, because he blinks at Tony. “Um,” he says, and his eyes are unfocused. “Nevermind.” He goes quiet then, leaning his head against the car window.

Peter Parker doesn’t go quiet. When Peter’s asked a question, all he does is talk. Now, he’s near-comatose in his still silence.

Pepper seems to sense the tension as well, because she keeps glancing over at Tony with a wrinkle in her brow before looking back to the road. They don’t usually talk about his dating life. This rapped play about the American government is really the only time Peter has allowed Tony to be involved, albeit from four rows back.

Tony clears his throat. He never meant to make the kid clam up like this. “It’s okay to talk about this stuff,” Tony says, attempting some damage control. “I know this can be uncomfortable, but it’s important to have these conversations.”

Peter makes a bewildering expression that Tony sees in the rearview mirror. “Yeah,” he says. “I know.”

“It doesn’t matter if it’s MJ or someone else, okay?” says Pepper. “You still have to be careful.”

Tony nods. They’re doing pretty well, he thinks, playing a little good cop, good cop. “Yeah, we don’t care if it’s with girls, guys…” Peter scoffs, a noise from the back of his throat, and Tony startles. What the hell was that? He’s never actually seen the kid do anything visibly hom*ophobic, but maybe… Maybe he’s overreacting. Peter could have—that could have been just a laugh, or a cough, or nothing at all. Wary, Tony continues, “...as long as you’re respectful of their boundaries and they’re respectful of yours.”

“Sure,” he says. His face is so still.

The car is quiet again, but Peter has closed his eyes with his head against the window. He might be feigning sleep, but Tony can’t find a way to say: hey, kid, can we talk about your borderline hom*ophobic response to a sex talk with your not-parents?

Tony remembers back in 2016 when he first met the kid. He knew that Peter had a thing for that girl Liz—a crush on a senior that flourished until the girl moved away. After that, he befriended MJ and started hanging out with her—a lot . Kid’s sixteen now, gonna be seventeen—instead of fourteen, going on fifteen. He’s different, but still the same, still head over heels for his crush.

Peter’s barely made a noise back there since the end of their conversation.

So they drop it, and soon enough Peter’s snoring lightly against the window. It’s late now, nearly one, and Tony makes the decision to drop off Pepper at their home upstate before bringing Peter home. He’s still got some stuff to tell him.

They make it upstate without a problem. It’s out of the way—like a thirty-minute drive out of the way—but it gives him the opportunity to talk to Peter alone. He doesn’t want Peter to feel like they’re ganging up on him, and this is a conversation better fit for him and the kid than the kid and Pepper anyway.


He kisses Pepper goodnight, and as she gets out, Tony does, too, moving into the driver’s seat so he can drive Peter back home. As his car door shuts, Peter wakes up with a jerk. “Alright, sleepyhead,” says Tony. “Naptime’s over. Wanna get in the front seat?”

Peter doesn’t respond. He’s sitting up straight now, looking around, confusion clear. The confusion melts into apprehension, and then at last he says, “Where, um—” He finally hones in on Pepper’s empty seat. He looks out the window to see Pepper still fiddling with her keys at the front door.

Peter goes very still.

Then he speaks carefully, like he has the words pre-written in front of him, with every word enunciated clearly. “Mr. Stark,” he says, “why did we drop off Pepper?”

The obvious apprehension in Peter’s voice doesn’t get past Tony. “Don’t worry, Pete,” he says, with a pat to the back of the passenger headrest. “Just wanted to keep talking about earlier. That okay with you?” He’s starting to regret this decision to continue their sex-talk conversation, because Peter has gone from quiet to stiff to tense and back again ever since he woke up.

“Yeah,” says Peter, but when he gets in the front seat it takes him three tries to buckle his seatbelt.

Tony turns on the car, and, acknowledging his discomfort, says, “What, did May never tell you about the birds and the bees? ‘Cause then we got a lot more to talk about, kiddo.” The kid's as stiff as a board; he doesn’t answer. “Here,” he says, “you wanna pick the music?”

“Sure,” says Peter, but he sounds strange. He adjusts it to some station playing indie pop and then puts his hands in his lap.

Tony clears his throat. “I just wanna clear up some things, okay? I don’t want any details about your relationship with MJ or anyone else, okay? That’s your business. I just want to make sure that you are being safe. That’s all I care about.”

“Mr. Stark,” starts the kid, and he’s glad to see that Peter’s now more embarrassed than he is quiet. “MJ and me aren’t—”

Tony interrupts him. “I’m not done,” he says. “By safe, I don’t just mean not getting someone pregnant, okay? Being safe means a lot more than that. I don’t know what they taught you in school, but this is important. If you’re going to be sexually active, you should get tested for STDs regularly—not because you don’t trust your partner, but so both of you can stay safe.”

Quiet from Peter.

“And it doesn’t matter who you are…being intimate with, alright? Girl, boy…” Peter doesn’t make a noise this time, and Tony relaxes. He must’ve imagined the first time, right? He blinks in relief. “And whoever it is, you have to make sure it is consensual, alright? Verbal consent is the easiest—just a ‘yes’ works fine—but there’s lots of kinds. Like nonverbal: you should read your partner’s body like they should read yours, and you should be able to tell if they want it or not.

“So, you should at least get some kind of physical consent. And if you can’t tell, you should just ask. You shouldn’t be going just off of nonverbal consent unless you know the other person really well, though. But it’s still important.

“Enthusiasm, okay? If you sense, like, anything else, you stop . You check in. Your partner should do the same, and this matters for the both of you, okay? If you get uncomfortable with something someone is doing, sexually, you have every right to say—”

“I get it!” snaps Peter suddenly. Tony blinks, paused in his speech, taken aback. The hell? “I know what consent is. I’m not a kid! You don’t have to explain every little thing to me like I don’t know anything! It’s not that f*cking hard—don’t rape someone, fine. I'm sure I’ll manage. You don’t have to explain every single f*cking thing to me like I’m five! I’m an adult! I swing from rooftops, and I—I stop robberies, and I fight people twice my size! I think I can figure out how to put a condom on or how to make sure the person I’m f*cking isn’t screaming no! I’m not stupid!

Tony is stopped at a red light, and now that it turns green, it shines waves of emerald into the car. Peter’s staring so hard at the windshield that it’s like he’s giving it Superman-laser-eyes, but the glass is immovable. He’s breathing a little too hard. Tony recognizes the faint odor of sweat on him.

“Peter,” he says gently, looking at the boy who won’t look at him, “I never said you were stupid.”

The tension is much too thick to puncture; they sit in clipped silence.

Peter puts his head back against the window.

His sleep supplement pill doesn’t take long to make: he does have a degree in chemistry, after all. He already has some old plans, so he uses what he already has in his chemistry lab to cook up a sloppy draft of a sleep supplement that’ll work until he can get better supplies. He doesn’t have the resources to test it out on any other living creatures, so he packs the powder into ten-microgram tablets (a pretty small dose, in case anything goes wrong) and swallows one with water—already, he feels more awake.

The symptoms of his sleepless nights have been far too prevalent. Hallucinations, twitches, mood swings, fatigue, poor memory… Sometimes he even wonders if this is real at all. Did he ever hit Pepper? Did he ever see Peter on the television? Did he ever hear Happy on the intercom?

Blowtorch, punch, hammer, blood.

Oh, god… All that blood… Leaking from his head like the splintered shell of an egg.

This is all starting to feel like a dream—and his previous life, a dream, too. Tony is stuck in a horrible, horrible dream. His worst nightmare.

Tony works and works and works. He builds scraps of weapons, all directed-energy weapons using arc technology as its source. This new weapon is bigger than the last; Tony tries to bolster its arc core with hints of nuclear power, zipping himself in a hazmat suit first before handling the substances.

He may be more sleep-deprived than he’s ever been, his mind a viscous sludge, but still… Still, he thinks of Peter.

He never really wanted kids. With his dickhe*d of a father, he always feared he’d fall into those sticky Stark shoes and start beating his kids with power cords as soon as he was old enough to talk.

Pepper always reminds ( reminded ) him in moments like that, that Tony loved his mother.

And, yes. He did. He loved Maria Stark more than anyone else in this hellish world.

But she never did anything to stop Howard. She might send a pained look in his direction, or stroke his hair a little softer at night, or give him extra syrup on his pancakes in the morning, but she would never stop him or say anything about it.

She was who she was. She loved, above all, her status as Howard Stark’s wife. The money, the glamour… She was born into wealth and moved into greater wealth once she married. She had no qualms about with a few beatings as long as it didn’t screw with her reputation. So yes, Tony loved his mom and she loved him, but she was never capable of protecting him. She would rather bury her head in the sand than ever admit her perfect husband had flaws: violent urges, alcoholism, perfectionism.

Is that all Tony was destined to be? An abuser or a bystander to one?

Cold metal against his hands. Tony finds his fingers on the trigger.

Peter. He remembers Peter. Peter, Peter, sweet Peter, smart Peter, snarky Peter with his Vine references and pink Converse and coffee-brown eyes.

Is he his mother now? A bystander to Peter’s abuse? Oh, god … Blowtorch, punch, hammer, blood. Blowtorch, punch, hammer, blood.

In a sudden anxious rage, he pulls the trigger and fires at the wall; a blast of blueish heat explodes from the nozzle and coats the wall in a lava-like slime, burning the wall down to studs, exposing wires and pipes beyond the plaster.

Another failure.

He fixes and fiddles and replaces parts and tries again. He lines up targets for his practice shots—mostly dead mice—before firing. One melts into a putrid pile of goo. It’s not good enough.

Tony’s familiar with kidnappings. As the son of Howard Stark, he was kidnapped four times by the time he finished high school—although none of them were successful, because Howard Stark didn’t negotiate. They had protocols for situations like that—Tony knew to wait it out until Howard had managed to track him down, and then they’d never speak of it again.

When he gets his kid back—when he gets Peter back—he’s gonna make sure the kid has someone to talk to. A therapist, a shrink, a dog, whatever. That kid isn’t gonna sit with this like Tony had to when he was a kid.

Thinking about Peter makes his chest hitch; again, he remembers. Blowtorch, punch, hammer, blood.

This one, this one has to be it. After this weapon, they’ll let him see Peter.

He has to finish this. He has to. It’s been too long—Peter is dying over there. He has to work faster.

“f*ck!” he screams, although there is no one there to listen.

Maybe, somewhere, Peter is listening…

“I’ve failed you,” he gasps. Tears stream, hot and angry, down his face and into his beard. “I’ve—I’ve failed you, Peter, again… I’m sorry… I’m sorry…”

He finds himself on his knees; his bones ache and his muscles twitch and his eyes are tired again.

Tony takes another supplement pill and picks up the gun.

TUESDAY, MAY 15 — 3:30 PM

The little girl doesn’t scream.

She trembles and cries, but she doesn’t make a sound. She has pushed herself all the way under the bed, but her little hand sticks out, attached to the leg of the bed by a set of cuffs.

“Cassie?” Riri calls again.

More crying in response—all muffled, as though into a sleeve.

Riri’s never been this close to the girl. She’s only ever viewed her from afar—Renee generally takes control of punishing the girl, or Charlie will take her if she cries—but she doesn’t usually leave this room. No wonder she’s so scared; the Lang girl never leaves unless it’s to be beaten or worse. Riri tries, “It’s okay, I’m just taking you to Peter, okay?”

“Pe—Pe—Pete—” hiccups the little girl, disappeared into the dark of the under-bed space.

She answers, “Yeah, to Peter. He’s just downstairs—I can take you to him.” She outstretches her arm to the little girl, but still she refuses to move, her crying muffled and shaky. “We’re just gonna go see Peter, that’s all. That’s what you want, right? To see Peter?”

Quiet sobbing.

“Come on, Lang, work with me…” She touches the girl’s cuffed hand, and there’s a sudden scream. Cassie cuts herself off, lapsing into another round of cries. “Just let me take you to him… Come on, you want to see Peter, right? He’s okay, he’s safe, just let me take you to him.”

She seems to perk up at the mention of her Spider-roommate, so Riri keeps talking. “He’s downstairs with a doctor, let me show you, come on, let me…” But she won’t move. She won’t leave.

Riri really doesn’t have time for this kid to finish crying. She unlocks the cuff and grabs the girl’s wrist before she can snatch it away. “Come on—” That’s when Cassie Lang lunges at her without a sound—all thirty pounds of her—and sinks her teeth into the meat of Riri’s forearm. Riri screams on instinct—damn, her teeth are sharp!—and tries to shake the kid off of her, but she’s clamped down hard; they’ve already broken skin— goddamn it, get off!

For some reason, she wasn’t expecting this girl to go completely feral.

She must have yelled because Haroun bursts into the room with his weapon drawn and says, “What the hell are you doing?”

As Riri pries frantically at the girl’s fixed jaw, Haroun grabs the girl by the head and presses his gun to her temple. The threat goes unspoken; the girl releases Riri’s arm and lunges for her safe space under the bed, but Haroun catches her by the leg before she can, pinning her down on her stomach.

The girl goes still and quiet in Haroun’s hold. Still shaking with her sobs, but this time with her mouth closed and her eyes squeezed into little wrinkles.

“What d’you need her for?” he asks Riri. Haroun looks tired.

“I was gonna,” she answers, “take her downstairs. To the doctor.”

Haroun makes a hmph sound, and then he releases the Lang girl before scooping her up under one arm. “Yeah,” he says, quiet. “That’s probably a good idea. Charlie and Renee are out anyway.”

“Where?”

He shrugs. “Food run, maybe.”

Riri swallows. “Do they know?”

“Do they know what?”

“About…the doctor.”

Haroun winces, and the Lang girl squirms in his grip as they exit the cell. “Not yet.”

Of course no one has told him. None of the crew was willing to tell him. No one wanted to bear the brunt of Charlie’s rage.

TUESDAY, MAY 15 — 3:58PM

To Agent Jimmy Woo, the body of Ava Starr looks nothing like the twenty-year-old girl in her files.

“Ever seen anything like this before?” says Jimmy, staring at the girl’s waterlogged corpse.

The medical examiner is a small woman, one with a ring and blonde bangs. She wrinkles her nose before answering. “A homicide?”

“No, a body like this. This…watery.”

“Watery,” the woman echoes with a note of amusem*nt. “No. We’ve had drownings, yes, but nothing like this.”

On the medical examiner’s table, the girl is more monster than human. She’s been brutalized into a swollen, pale mess of tissue. Thank God for Hope Van Dyne—without her they never would have been able to identify the woman.

“What can you tell me?” Woo asks.

The medical examiner looks to the corpse. “Nothing you don’t already know. Her injuries are severe. Her attacker bludgeoned her skull in first, while she was still alive, head bleeding, and then bashed in the rest of her. They waited to move her, dumped her…”

“Forget how she died. I mean—can you tell me anything about her ?” There’s none of Scott Lang’s DNA on this girl, and none of Cassie’s either. The only bit they found was the hair in that McDonald’s wrapper.

The medical examiner pulls back the drape over the girl’s chest. Down her middle is a surgical cut, one that has been since seen back together. It must’ve been from the autopsy. The girl seems too young for such a gruesome mark. “Can’t tell you much. Seems like she was sexual active, but nothing violent or too rough.”

“So you don’t think…” Woo clears his throat. “Back in New York we see a lot of sex trafficking cases, but this one’s hard. Do you think it could be?”

Another wrinkle of her nose. “Don’t get a lot of those out here. We’re a quiet town, Agent Woo. Addicts, sure.” Her gaze drops to Ava Starr’s arms, which are littered with track marks. “But we really don’t see a lot of…New York-style deaths.”

They go over more of Starr’s history, much of which Woo already knows. According to the files, there are only a few people that Ava Starr made actual, detectable human contact with. Of course there was Cassie, her hair trapped in a McDonald’s wrapper in Starr’s pocket. Then there’s her attacker, someone whose bludgeoning marks are all over her.

Finally, there are traces of one last person on Starr. There was a second hair in there. Unidentified. The detectives have begun to call him Q. Q is a young male, somewhere between the age of twelve and twenty. From a thorough examination of the hair’s components, Q is receiving some of the same drugs as little Cassie, but he is under much more stress. He’s experiencing the same types of malnutrition, too.

Any good officer knows that these kids—Cassie and the unknown boy—are in the same situation. And maybe if they can’t find Cassie, they might be able to find this boy.

Even more interesting is this boy’s DNA has been found in traces all over New York crime scenes. Not on any scenes of sex trafficking or drug trafficking, but on smaller ones: petty theft, muggings, attempted assault… Traces of his hair, blood, and sweat have been found everywhere, in dozens upon dozens of crime scenes.

Having DNA evidence from someone who is in the system already is a huge help. With luck, they’ll find the girl.

TUESDAY, MAY 15 — 4:38 PM

Pepper Potts doesn’t have many friends.

She has Happy, but his big mouth and connection to the company would only have her pregnancy spilled to the public. There’s also Rhodey, but he’s so connected to Tony that he can’t possibly be neutral about it.

She’s a professional woman—who does she have besides those two?

She considers person after person, but she doesn’t even have family that she trusts with her most intimate secret. Finally, she dials a number. The phone rings twice.

“Hey,” she says, as soon as he picks up. She has to physically stop herself from saying something stupid.

On the other end, a man’s voice, slightly surprised. “Pepper Potts.”

She swallows and says, “Do you think we could meet?”

Notes:

plz comment and let me know what u think and what u wanna see happen, next chap will focus a lot on peter and cassie and the doctor, of course, we all love them <3

Chapter 9: my boy, my boy, my boy

Summary:


“You said he needed—” The stupid girl glances at Charlie, and she takes a sudden step back. “—that he needed a doctor! Tell him! Tell him what you said!”

“I just said he might need one! I didn’t say go grab one off the f*cking street!”

Open-mouthed, the girl looks from her friend, to Charlie, and then to the three behind her: the kids and the doctor. At once, the girl is rambling too fast to even understand, repeating his name. She’s explaining what happened, something about Parker’s head and tricking a doctor into their car. “—but Charlie, Charlie, listen, listen—please, listen—Jon nearly killed the kid! I was helping you! I had to get him to someone! A doctor! Anybody! But we couldn’t let him leave, so I had to—”

“Shut up!” snaps Charlie. “Is this true? You let them out of their—their cage! You stupid bitch! ” The first hit is hard—her face is soft but he hits bone on the first blow. He wants to hit her until her face is nothing but blood and pulp. She deserves this for disobeying him; who could disobey him, Charlie Keene, the cornerstone, the forerunner, the holy deliverer? He’s the only one who knows what they need to sacrifice to save the world!

Notes:

chap title from 'my boy' by billie eilish

i wrote most of this on my phone on vacation so yes there’s probably typos and like lots of screwups, but like it’s 10k and i wanted to post so here u go. no chapter summary or anything yet cuz i’m literally on my phone. i’ll make this all look pretty when i get back. until then, have fun.

CW: obv violence and kidnapping, drugs and drug abuse, references to child sexual abuse (nothing explicit, all implied), medical procedures, malnourishment/malnutrition, mentions of domestic violence, violence against a minor

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

TUESDAY, MAY 15 — 4:23 PM — DAY 39

Peter wakes to find himself there. Again.

Wrists taut against restraints. Leg bursting with pain.

But this time, something is wrong. He can sense it in every inch of him: the temperature of the room, the smell of a clean chemical against his skin, a bright light against his closed eyelids… For a second, his mind races. He has woken up a couple times in the chair—that metal chair with its cold vibranium cuffs.

The sensation of cold metal flutters against his wrists and ankles before he realizes; there’s no metal. No vibranium. He’s imagining the phantom sensation: these straps are leather .

And besides that, there are people talking. Peter can’t pick out the voices, hearing only blurred syllables. He feels sick yet full—almost like he’s drunk buckets and buckets of Gatorade and is ready to throw it back up.

His senses come back slowly. There is a tingling that comes with rising from this sort of sleep, and he feels it now—almost like his every cell has become twice their weight—as his limbs return to him. His head feels enormously heavy.

And this time he’s lying supine, whole body flat against some kind of platform.

Peter doesn’t move. He knows better than to move. He can feel his body, every segment of it, and he can’t exactly tell the voices, but he can make the general assumption. The restraints feel different this time, and he waits before testing them out. Maybe they’re—he’s confused. Why is he lying down? This is unusual, really unusual—what the hell does Charlie have planned?

He imagines a million and one things—and his sudden panic only worsens when he realizes he’s not in his uniform—the prisoners’ uniform he’s always in—anymore.

Peter is naked . Or, at least partially. He can feel cold air on his chest, over his arms, and something—cloth?—from his hips down to his thighs.

The voices come into focus. One female, close to him, and one male, farther away. “…what you’ve been eating?”

“…don’t like McDonald’s…” answers a familiar voice—someone young and small.

Cassie .

Where the f*ck is he? How is Cassie here, too? If Cassie’s with him, they’re both in danger. Did he mess up? Did Tony break another rule? Did Cassie try to escape? His breath hitches at the thought, and the female one stills beside him. “…Parker?”

That’s the only word he needs to know for sure he’s in danger. Only Charlie and his crew call him Parker.

He taps into his spidey sense (his Peter-tingle, as Ned would call it) and takes in the room around him: three bodies, one small and two big. He knows how to fight like he knows how to breathe; he’s gonna get to Cassie.

Peter hears the woman say something—shout it, really—and he takes his opportunity when he feels a hand at the IV on his inner arm. He flicks his arm upwards, breaking the strap, and then grabs the person’s arm with one hand, yanking it forward so that her shadow of a head comes into his vision, and then he flails, punching her in the chest to knock her back—with the impact , he opens his eyes, and sh*t, his eyes f*cking hurt, bad. He has to force himself to open them, but they burn at the light so bad that he closes them almost immediately after. He can sense the people around him, and his spidey sense in that moment is so intense that he can feel every angle of their bodies without seeing or touching them.

Peter keeps his eyes closed; he keeps moving.

He fights without feeling—on pure instinct. The man’s head—he grabs by the hair and pulls, slams it against something: a hard surface. The other person he reaches for, but he can’t make it—his leg, his leg won’t move! He grabs his bad knee with a groan, but he has only a second—Peter reaches down and pulls up with his fingertips, and he finds the weight of his leg falling away, so he rolls with it.

“Careful!”

He hears the word—as clear as a glass of water— and as Peter lands, prepared to fall into a squat and bounce back up to the ceiling, his leg—his leg again —it buckles beneath him, entirely numb. He doesn’t have time to think about why. With his good leg, he accounts for his weight and springs up to touch the ceiling, bouncing and sticking, using his battered arms to handwalk across the ceiling until he reaches the other two figures, dropping to the floor with his hands planted to balance himself. Oh, God, his head.

The room is spinning now, and his spidey-sense is a blur of shifting figures and colorful ruptures. Where are they? Where’s Cassie? Where’s Cassie?

He doesn’t have his suit, doesn’t have his shooters, doesn’t have Karen the AI to tell him what to do next. All he has is instinct.

“Get away from her!” Peter gargles, standing, and he sweeps his hand at the figure—the man’s so close. With another wild throw of his arm, he takes out the larger of the two in the gut, and Peter flips up onto the table with a pained gasp—

He ignores the pain and wobbles, grabbing onto the smallest figure—Cassie—looping his arm around her waist and launching them both away. His leg is so numb it might as well not be there, and he drags it behind him like twenty pounds of meat.

By the time he stops fighting and his body has stopped swiveling, he’s screaming, “Iron Man! Iron Man!” and Cassie clings to him like a joey to its mother’s pouch. They’re tucked in the corner of the room now, Peter crouched to the floor and Cassie hidden behind him.

He hasn’t opened his eyes yet. He can feel the other two, like a dog can sniff out another dog, like a fly can sense a swatter coming. There’s a woman and a man. Is it Renee and Charlie? His head is weighty with confusion; his whole skull aches and swims with the room.

The woman is too small to be Renee.

Air comes out of him in raspy, heaving pants; Peter feels like he’s running a marathon and balking at the finish line. He’s dipped into a crouch, his dead leg sprawled out while his good leg bends deep at the knee. He braces one hand on the ground for balance and the other keeps Cassie behind him, blocking her from their view. He gasps again, taking in more air and trying to absorb the scene around him with his senses. The figures keep shuffling and moving their heads around, and their voices are so intertwined that words are hard to make out.

He has no escape.

His spider-senses keep telling him: he has no escape, no escape, no escape .

“Charlie!” he shouts, cutting through their noise. “You stay away from her! YOU GET THE f*ck AWAY FROM HER!!” Peter has no weapon but his words and his hands, one of which he holds out in a fist to the figures—Charlie? Mason? Haroun? Who will he have to fight?

“…your eyes, Peter,” says the man. “Charlie’s not here.”

The man’s making no sense and he backs up, trapping Cassie against the wall. Behind him, she is grabbing onto his shirt—shirt? Dress? What the hell is he wearing? It doesn’t feel like his. No pants, no underwear, no shirt—just this dotted gown, knotted haphazardly around his waist to hang slightly over his thighs. Everything is corroded, and he feels as though if he opens his eyes he’ll see something demonic: zombies or ghosts or aliens. He’s never liked horror movies. Now, he feels like he’s stepped into one. What’s happening?

He’s so f*cking confused that it hurts. Nothing makes sense. Cuffs while lying on his back? Cassie in the room with him? His leg numb? “What did you… What…”

He feels strange, too. Peter’s been drugged more times than he can count—needles to the thigh, gasses filling the room, pills in the cup—so he knows just what it feels like. He knows he’s been drugged, and not just by his usual sedatives. His head is heavy and his face is hot with blood. He reeks of sweat and his clothes—where the hell are his clothes?

He feels naked. Peter feels naked. He doesn’t feel like himself anymore.

He opens his eyes into a half-squint. A panic rises in him, one that backs him further into the corner. “Skip?” he blurts out, and his confusion rises. In his knees is a tremble Peter hasn’t felt since he was young.

In front of him are two people, one white and one black, yet his vision is so strained and blurry that it’s difficult to tell who’s who. There was a woman and a man—right? Charlie? Ava? Renee? They’re talking—maybe to him—but he’s not listening. Sensation is starting to return to his numb leg, sparks tingling at his thigh and creeping downward. It hurts, but not much—like he’s hitting a hammer against his funny bone. It’s not a bone, Aunt May would say. It’s actually a nerve. That funny feeling is just your humerus tapping your ulnar nerve.

Oh, May… May… Had they killed her? Was she even alive?

Feeling flickers down towards his calf. He whips his head up and he can feel the danger flooding him—the girl has drawn her weapon. It’s a pistol, and the click of the safety fills him with alarm— “YOU STAY AWAY!! STAY AWAY FROM ME!!”

He has no weapon but himself.

And Cassie has no shield but him.

The man jumps between them both, blocking his view of the girl, but Peter knows her gun is still trained on him. “Riri, put the gun down—” the man says, with one hand at the girl and one hand at him. “Peter—it’s Peter, right?”

He doesn’t say anything, still gasping like each breath is the last gulp of air he’ll ever take.

“Peter Parker?”

Peter squints at the man with his throbbing eyes and then back at the gun. It feels like he’s staring right into the sun, and the pain is sharp enough that he has to close his eyes again. “I don’t know you,” he says. When he opens them, his eyes are back on that skinny black teen and her gun. She’s one of them . “What did you do to me?”

There’s a throbbing pain at his inner thigh, and all of a sudden he feels liquid trickling down his thigh and past his knee. His breathing quickens into something he can’t control; he thinks of Skip first. And then he thinks of Tony and Pepper and little Cassie cowering behind him. Peter reaches down and touches the trail by his knee and raises his hand to his face to find a smear of blood on his fingers.

He feels suddenly sick.

The doctor seems to notice his change in expression because he says, “That’s the IV, hon. Just the IV. The veins in your arms, they were wrecked. Whatever they did to you, whatever drug they were giving you, they gave you too much too many times. I had to use a good, healthy vein, and that was the next best thing.”

Behind the man, the girl is lowering her weapon. Riri? Is that her name? He remembers her from some of his sessions in the Room. She liked to stand with her arms folded, quiet, never saying a word as Charlie beat him. And the man? Is he working with Charlie? He’s never seen this guy before…

“Peter—it’s called the femoral vein. It’s real. It’s in your thigh, right” —the man reaches down slowly and taps his inner thigh with the flat of his fingers— “here. I’d Google it for you if they hadn’t taken my phone.” Peter backs himself and Cassie into the corner. “Look.”

Slowly, the man points, and Peter’s eyes flit to the table. Scalpels and gauze and drapes cover the table, as well as a thick tube still dribbling blood.

“That’s your IV,” says the man; he’s dressed in scrubs.

IV—scrubs—femoral vein… He looks up at the man and he catches a glimpse of turquoise. At last he says, in a cautious croak, “They took your phone?”

The man relaxes a little. “Yeah, hon, they took it. Along with anything else I could've used to break you out of this place. For now, I'm just trying to make sure you don’t die.” Again, he tells the girl to put her gun down, and then he points, this time to Peter and Cassie. “I wasn’t hurting her. Look—look at yourself, look at Cassie.” From behind him, Cassie taps him with her arm. It’s casted now, wrapped in a splint and some kind of thick plaster up to the elbow.

Peter looks from the girl to the man. A doctor, he guesses. His eyes are starting to adjust to the room around him, which he can now see is some kind of operating room. The table he was on: a stainless steel operating table. Cassie was sitting on one just like it, although she wasn’t strapped down—the metal-reinforced straps on his table dangle broken. He must’ve broken them when he jumped.

He can feel his leg entirely now, and when he looks down to reassure himself that it’s still there, he finds it’s casted as well, just like Cassie’s arm.

It’s then that Riri, gun put away, speaks. “You’re still here,” she says, gesturing towards the double doors at the end of the room. “See? Guards at the door. Fighting me and the doc won’t do any good. Just calm down and let us help.”

“I’m stuck here just like you,” adds the doctor. “I promise, I’m not here to hurt you.”

He can feel his heart beat in his face, blood rushing through each vein. “Cassie,” says Peter slowly, so he can make sure the little girl understands him. “Did they hurt you?”

“No,” she answers.

Peter’s not looking at Cassie; he’s asked her these questions countless times. Any time we’re separated, he told her, I just have to make sure. “Did they touch you?” He watches those two: the doctor in his scrubs and the girl in hers. They match, like a set of painted Matryoshka dolls.

“Yes,” says Cassie, and he can feel her head turn from behind him. Her oily hair tickles his leg.

“Where?”

“My tummy and my legs. And my head.”

These are their questions. There are only three of them, and it is all they need to know that the other person is okay. It’s normal, when one of them is without the other, to explain everything that happened. It helps them keep track of each other’s injuries and make sure they’re gonna be okay. Peter always tells her where he’s hurt and where, just in case something bad happens. He always makes sure he knows everything that happens to Cassie when he’s not there. Did they hurt you? Did they touch you? Where? Sometimes, when Cassie is worried about Peter after a session with Charlie, she’ll ask him. Did they hurt you? she’ll ask, after a long silence. Yes, he’ll answer.

“Where’s Charlie?” Peter asks suddenly.

“He’s not here—“ Riri starts.

“What time is it?”

“Peter, listen to me—”

“What time is it?” he snaps.

“It’s not time,” blurts Riri. “It’s not time. You’re good.”

At once, Peter finds that he can no longer hold himself in this crouching position, and his knees buckle. He hits the ground hard, with a groaning feeling that seems to shudder through his whole body: relief .

“Time?” echoes the doctor, frowning. “Time for what?”

TUESDAY, MAY 15 — 5:20 PM

The doctor is not someone Cassie has seen before.

He’s dressed like a doctor, which she remembers from before, and he has a beard. He is not very tall, maybe a little taller than Peter, and when he looks at her she knows he isn’t high. (Peter always tells her to stay away from them when they’re high.) His eyes are clear and his frown is sharp with concern. He looks a little like Jim—oldish, with a slow gait and gray hairs.

When he first moved towards her, she jumped back on instinct. “Peter,” she whimpered automatically, and she tried to run again before Riri and Haroun forced her down so the doctor could look at her.

Now, Peter holds her hand while the doctor does the rest of his exam. His hands are cold, like Peter’s, and the rubber gloves feel weird on her skin. He presses the stethoscope to her chest. “Breathe in,” he says.

She remembers this part from check-ups before. She takes a deep breath, and it hurts as it gets to the very top—“And out,” he finishes.—and she lets it out.

The doctor doesn’t show any sign of discontent on his face. He just smiles and says, “Good job, good job. Can you do it again?”

Cassie does everything the doctor asks. He wipes her mostly clean with a damp cloth, checking her all over to find small bruises and old cuts. All the while, Peter holds her: Cassie’s hand in his, Cassie’s face hiding in his arm… Peter doesn’t smile, either. He watches the doctor like he watches Charlie, the Bearded-Man. Peter looks scary. His eyebrows are flat and frowny, and his eyes bounce around from Riri to the doctor as he holds Cassie.

Cassie wants to go back to their Room. They’ll be safe there, she knows. There, they can play with their McDonald’s toys and wait for dinner. She’s really hungry. Really, really hungry.

The doctor is talking to Peter now, and Peter’s holding her, hugging her as she hides her head in the crook of his neck. “You’re both severely malnourished,” he says. She told me about what you eat—just the Happy Meals, right?”

“Yeah,” says Peter. “Three times a day.”

“And how much of it does she eat?”

Peter’s face suddenly twists. “You don’t understand,” he says. “I don’t—I’m… used to, like, way more food—they don’t give us anything here, just the Happy Meals, and—”

“I don’t blame you,” says the doctor, softly. “I just need to know how much she’s eating.”

Peter is quiet. He rubs Cassie’s back, his hand stiff. Before the doctor had fixed Peter, Cassie remembers, a couple of his fingers had been broken. Now, Peter flexed his fingers without a wince. “Some of the burger, maybe… And all her fries. I usually eat the rest.”

Dr. Skivorski makes a hm sound before asking Cassie to lie back. She looks at Peter for permission, and he nods.

The table is cold, but it feels just like their bed back in the Room. “Besides your arm,” starts the doctor, “is there anything else that hurts right now, hon?”

“No,” she answers. It’s not exactly true, but her hand was the worst part, anyway.

Dr. Skivorski with his gray beard leans over her and, using rubber-gloved fingers, taps against her belly, one area after the other, and it hurts every single time. She’s used to her tummy hurting, so she doesn’t say anything until he taps a little too hard, and she sucks in a breath.

“Did that hurt?” asks the doctor.

“Yes,” she answers, and when she turns her head she sees Peter above her.

He looks kind of like an angel. Peter’s different today. He looks like the first day she met him, when his hair was short and his face was clean. He’s been scrubbed and dried, bath-clean, and all of the cuts on him are stitched up neatly. These stitches are way neater than Cassie’s or Peter’s. Half his hair is gone, shaved away to show a C-curve of stitches. His bare head is so white—he’s like an angel. “But that’s… It’s a… Peter says it doesn’t count. That Always-Hurts. We can’t do anything about it if it Always-Hurts. My tummy always hurts.”

The doctor is quiet for a moment. “Can you tell me what else always hurts, Cassie?”

“My teeth,” she starts. “My chest—”

“Doc,” snaps Peter, and suddenly his arms are tight around Cassie, snug like a too-small Christmas sweater. “Cut it out.”

“Peter—”

“Seriously,” he says, “I can tell you anything that’s wrong with her.” Cassie hides her face in his neck again. He usually smells like sweat and salt and sour milk and pennies; now, he smells so clean , like a hospital bed. “She doesn’t need… She doesn’t need to think about that. Let’s…” Peter’s done a lot of talking by now, and his face tightens. He must be hurting. He only looks like that when he’s hurting. “The more she thinks…about it…” Peter’s taking deeper breaths between his words now. “...the more it’ll…bother…her.”

Dr. Skivorski frowns; Cassie thinks he has really bushy eyebrows. He really does look a lot like Jim. He has smaller hands and longer hair, but he makes her think of Jim.

“Cassie,” says Peter. He looks weird with his head all wrapped in white; he looks like he’s trying to keep from falling asleep; his eyes are wide and red and blinking weird. “Hawkeye.”

Cassie knows their code words well. Iron Man means go protect yourself, sometimes by hiding under the bed or by hiding behind Peter. Hawkeye means close your ears and don’t listen. Captain America means Peter needs medical help, usually that she has to sew up one of his bad cuts. Ant-Man means run. Black Widow means be quiet and listen to what Peter says, do what he does.

So she shuts her ears.

The doctor looks to Peter then. They have a conversation that is low enough that she can only pick out a few words through her ears—she has her good hand pressed over her ear and her shoulder pressed against the other. She can’t really hear what they’re saying, but she gets some idea from what Peter says while he is still holding her. The doctor is too far, though.

They talk and they talk. Cassie keeps her ears shut and Peter’s arms stay around her. She hears parts of words she knows, like lungs and drugs and not enough .

Peter starts to get weird: his arms tighter around her, his breathing picking up. As his voice gets louder, his words become near-clear in her shut ears. “No, they didn’t.”

The doctor’s words sound like they’re under a rush of water. He talks and talks and—

“Yeah, I’m sure. I’m sure .”

The doctor answers a little louder. “...check…make sure…”

“You’re not putting her through that. No. I said no.”

TUESDAY, MAY 15 — 6:29 PM

Pepper Potts has never liked Steve Rogers very much.

She usually finds him overbearing and self-righteous; she regrets calling him as soon as she ends the call. But she needs someone honest. Someone she can trust. So by the time they meet—at a small diner in Brooklyn—she has resigned herself to his conversation. He’s in New York already, so they meet in the evening, settling on seven o’clock.

Pepper arrives first—a half-hour before he is supposed to, but she only orders coffee. She wears a sweatshirt, jeans, sneakers, and a brunette wig; she doesn’t need a swarm of paparazzi coming after her.

Steve Rogers arrives fifteen minutes later, still quite early, and dressed in an outfit that is so unlike him that she does a double take: a patterned sweater, slacks, and white shoes. He spots her almost immediately.

“Pepper Potts,” he says. His blonde hair, which she remembers being a swept 40s style, is now thicker and long enough to touch his jawline. He has a blonde beard to match.

She grimaces. “Steve,” she says, in nearly the same tone. “How are you?”

He smiles; the dark bags she’s used to seeing under his blue eyes have lightened. “A lot better,” he says. “I think I’m finally getting used to this whole twenty-first century thing.”

“And your friend… Bucky Barnes, right?” Steve nods in agreement. “How’s he?”

A flicker of surprise. “Bucky’s good. We cut a deal with Fury to lose his fugitive status—we helped Captain Marvel and Dr. Strange with a purple alien problem, and after we won, Bucky got pardoned. We’re living in Brooklyn now, actually.”

“Purple alien problem?” echoes Pepper.

“Not important. He wanted to kill half the planet using some magic stones… But Dr. Strange took care of him. Magicked one of those circle things around him and cut the guy’s head right off.” He chuckles. “Never used to be scared of that Dr. Houdini until I saw that.”

At this point, their waitress, a young girl with dark eyeliner and pigtails, returns with a cup of coffee and a mini-pitcher of creamer. “Can I get you anything, sir?”

Steve scans over the laminated menu and orders a burger and fries. After the waitress takes their menus and leaves, the blond supersoldier clears his throat. “As much as I’d love to chat about Bucky, I know you didn’t come here to talk about him. What's going on?” She’s got sunglasses on, but it’s like he can see right through her. “Pepper,” he says again, this time with his shoulders dropped. “Are you okay?”

She sits back, slowly, and removes her sunglasses. “Have you been watching the news?”

“Here and there,” he says. “Paparazzi were all over that picture of you.”

She knows the photo. Back in mid-April, they caught her on the balcony of the house, dressed in only her robe after a shower, crying. Tony had swung with a half-closed fist, not a palm, so it had left a mark: a mark the paparazzi were too keen on catching. Her face—the bruise had blackened at that point—was still bad; she should’ve known better than to go on the balcony. The pop-culture vultures had been all over her since.

“Yeah,” is all Pepper says, and she fiddles with her sunglasses.

His shoulders seem to drop another couple inches. “Oh,” he says. “Tony?”

She nods.

The waitress comes by and asks them about coffee—she fills it up at Pepper’s request, and Pepper adds a packet of sugar. Steve’s coffee, as she can see, is milky, a light, buttery color; hers is a black-brown and barely sweet.

“Look, this is really more Sam's department,” Steve continues. “I'm no psychiatrist, Pepper. I’m not a marriage counselor or a doctor or a therapist.”

“I’m not asking you to be,” she says. “But you know Tony. From a different angle than the rest of us. You know better than anyone else how complicated he can be. How difficult this is.” Pepper takes another sip of her coffee; Steve seems to be holding his breath. “Just… What would you do?”

“Our relationship isn’t like yours,” says Steve. “He wouldn’t worry about fixing things with me. I’m just some guy who betrayed him. If I went and knocked on that lab door, he’d probably put on his suit and blast me outright.”

“But he hurt you, didn’t he?” she asks. “In a way that can’t be…resolved?”

Steve glances away. “I don’t know. I think… Back in Siberia, we were both fighting for what we thought was right. Tony for his mom, me for Bucky… I don’t think either of us were wrong. There’s a difference between us fighting each other and him hitting you. He saw Bucky and saw his mom’s killer, someone who was a threat to him and his family… I don’t think that’s what’s happening with you.” Steve is spinning his mug in his hands. “You know, my ma used to have that look,” he says.

“What look?”

“The I’m-gonna-go-back look.”

Pepper scoffs. “I’m not gonna go back to him. I told him I wouldn’t. And I haven’t. And I won’t.”

Steve shrugs. “Never stopped my ma.”

“Well,” says Pepper, “this isn’t the thirties. Women have…options now. We don’t—I don’t have to stay. I’m CEO of Stark Industries. I’m the wealthiest female CEO in the world. So I don’t need him. Never needed him.”

Steve’s watching her. He’s frowning. “Okay,” he says at last, giving in. “But what about his kid?”

“I don’t know,” she says. “I’m forty-six. Having a kid at my age is dangerous enough. But Tony and I… We didn’t even try , Steve. We just kind of accepted that it was impossible. We talked a couple times about adopting, or fostering, or something like that, but the closest we got was funding orphanages and group homes. We… Tony… Neither of us had particularly good childhoods, and neither of us had much success in relationships until we met each other. We’ve never had a dog, let alone a baby. And now…” She shakes her head. “I don’t know what to do.”

Steve grimaces. “I know this is hard. I mean, I never thought of Tony as someone who could do something like this.”

“I didn’t, either. I think maybe…” Her coffee mug is empty now, although she tips it into her mouth nonetheless, tasting the last drops of coffee from the bottom of the cup. “Something’s wrong with him. The way he looked at me… If there’s a chance that there’s something else going on, I want to know. I thought maybe—mind control? Brain tumor? Magic?”

The blond man is shaking his head. “Pepper…”

“I’m serious. Tony’s never acted like this before. And all of a sudden, he’s locking himself in his lab—for weeks —and he’s having people deliver him boxes at weird hours of the night, he’s—something’s wrong with him. He’s never, ever hit me before. And I think maybe, if there’s a chance I can fix it, I should, right?”

Again, he says, “Pepper…” in that melancholy tone.

“You said you’d been working with Dr. Strange, right? Do you think he could help me? He’d know if something was really wrong.”

He nudges his plate from him; it’s clean, and he stacks his silverware on top. “I’ve asked Strange for a lot of help over the past few years, with a lot of different things. I usually get a no from him. Unless he considers your problem to be a threat to the” —he mimes quotes with his fingers— “‘safety of the universe,’ Strange won’t help. And I don’t think Tony being Tony would be considered a threat of his caliber, don’t you think?”

Pepper sniffs. This wig is beginning to itch, and she wants to take it off. She scratches at the nape of her neck. “It’s not just Tony being Tony. This is something else. It has to be.”

The waitress comes to collect their plates. She scoops up their dishes with one hand and pours more coffee for them both with her other hand.

“Pepper, listen,” says Steve. “My ma always thought my dad would change. No matter how many times he beat her, she’d always say, ‘He’s still a good man.’ On the bad days, she’d talk about leaving him, but when the morning came, she’d still make him his breakfast.” He looks at her now, a hard stare, and he doesn’t blink. “I don’t want that to happen to you, Pepper. I don’t want that to happen to anyone.”

“This is different,” Pepper insists. “This is Tony .”

The man sips his coffee. “You know, my ma used to say that, too.”

That shuts her up. Pepper takes a swig of her coffee, savoring the black bitterness on her tongue.

“He wasn’t always abusive,” Steve continues, “but he got a lot worse after I was born. He…wasn’t a bad man. I loved my father. But he had his vices, and untreated PTSD, and violence like that was the norm back then. He was a man shaped by his environment. So I don’t exactly have to forgive him, but I do understand him.

“This isn’t to say that Tony is or isn’t a good man, or whether or not he would be a good father. I really couldn’t tell you. But I will say that Tony should know better, and I think…” Ge stirs at the dregs of his milky coffee. “…that makes it worse than my father, somehow. I can’t tell you whether or not you should forgive him. But I don’t know what kind of situation would cause him to hit you. But he did it on purpose. He knew what it meant to you, and he knew what it meant for the both of you, and he did it anyway. I don’t want you to forget that. This wasn’t an accident. It wasn’t a slip-up. He hurt you because he wanted to.”

She scoffs—a half-laugh that is more nervous than anything. “I’m not saying I’m going back. I’m just saying that if there’s a chance that it wasn’t really him, then I’ve got to take it—right? Right?”

Steve doesn’t say anything.

“Because if I’m right—if there’s something wrong—then we can fix it. And if I can fix it…” She puts a hand on her stomach, imagining the little life inside. “…then we can do it together. The right way.”

“Pepper,” says Steve, with a frown that’s impossible to miss, “there is no right way.”

TUESDAY, MAY 15 — 6:56 PM

When Charlie wakes up from his nap, the barracks are practically empty.

Charlie has had an uneventful day. He slept most of it away. Watching the kid go out like that sent a feeling thrumming through him. He forgets sometimes how good it feels—the sight of blood on skin, the power of the hammer in his hands. The power to shatter kneecaps or to force Tony Stark to do his bidding. He has all the power in the world. After what happened with Parker, he took so much angel dust that he could feel it in the veins of his eyes and the nail-beds of his toes.

His wife Renee is asleep beside him, snoring. Her eyes are half-open and bloodshot as hell.

If she was awake right now, he’d f*ck her slow and sweet, but when he kicks at her leg she just rolls over and snores some more.

Charlie remembers the blood coming from Parker’s head, and his insides bubble with delight—he bubbles, he simmers, he broils. It felt so good. God, he needs more of his sh*t. There’s a baggie tucked in the waistband of Renee’s pants, and he pulls it out with trembling fingers. Yes, yes, yes! He lines it up on the table and snorts one line, then two.

As the PCP floods him, burning and freezing and tingling, he staggers around the room. There’s only a few people in here: Daria asleep on the floor, Glenn counting dollar bills, Lyle picking at the scabs on his face… And up in the corner of the ceiling, the muted television flits to inverse color before flickering back to normal.

On the television is the local news channel: black and white closed captioning blinks at the bottom of the screen. “…girl was found late on the night of May 9th, brutally murdered, her body droppedin Lake Champlain. She was found by a nearby fisherman and his son—our correspondent has them on scene to give you exclusive coverage.”

Charlie braces himself against the metal table, eyes still trained on the TV; there, a suited man holds a microphone in front of a murky lake. “Thank you, Rob. I’m here at Lake Champlain, where the victim was found. The girl has since been identified as Ava Catherine Starr, former SHIELD member and fugitive from American law. She was briefly on the FBI’s Ten Most Wanted Fugitives list for the murder of an American agent and ties to terrorism. Our correspondents have reached out to SHIELD, but as of now they have no comment on the situation.”

No. No. No! Charlie slams his hand down on the table; his crew members there jump and scatter. “They found her f*cking body?

With the angel dust surging through him, he has a hard time remembering who he sent to take care of the body. He remembers Mason dragging the girl’s body out of the bunker, and someone grabbing the other end.

Charlie whips around. “Where the f*ck are they? Where are they?”

His vision is holy and blind with rage, and all of a sudden he’s got someone pinned against the wall by the throat who chokes out, “Down—stairs—with—the kids—”

Charlie squeezes so hard, his thumbs and his fingers pressing into pliant flesh, that they stop talking—shut up! Shut up! “They think they can betray me? They think they can expose us all and get away with it? We’re going to FIX THE WORLD, AND THEY’RE STABBING US IN THE BACK!!!”

Their stupid mouth gives a cough and a sputter and then silence. Charlie turns around again, so fast that he bumps into a table. “Renee, get the f*ck up!”

He storms out and down the hall, and his ears ring with power. It’s not enough, so Charlie takes the bag of good sh*t from his pocket and, fingering the dusty remnants of the plastic baggie, sticks the rest between his gums. It tastes like heaven. It tastes like a kingdom that’s entirely his.

The kids’ cell is f*cking empty. He lets out a guttural scream, something from deep within him, and he slams his fist into the wall. “Where the f*ck are they?” Their floor is brown with old blood; there is a handcuff dangling from one leg of their bed.

He finds he’s holding a weapon—not any weapon, but one of Tony’s prototypes. A sleek, metal piece with a double-action trigger and a wide barrel. Charlie pulls the trigger in once, twice, then three times, and each gives a delightful blue blast.

He fires again, this time to the doorway, as a man ducks through. “Whoa, Charlie! You could’ve—”

He can feel the heat in him rising, can feel a crown of sweat beading over his forehead. “YOU f*ckING TRAITOR!!” He inhales the great stink of betrayal and sweeps his arm at the man—it’s Mason, and his sledgehammer is absent from his hand.

The man reeks of fear. Charlie demands the kids’ location from him and he leads him downstairs, a few floors down into the bunker. He pokes his weapon into Mason’s sweaty back, and he leads him to a doorway. Jon and Zhiyuan sit out front, sucking on sunflower seeds and spitting them out in front.

They stand when Charlie comes.

They should all stand when Charlie comes.

Charlie waves the gun around with a grin. “Who did it? Who took the kids from me?! Huh? ” The angel dust is rising into his face—into his shoulders and elbows and fingers, like a starburst, like a supernova. “I know you broke the f*cking rules—I KNOW YOURE ALL f*ckING PLOTTING AGAINST ME!”

“Charlie,” says one of them, slow, “the kids are still here. They’re inside, Parker needed a doctor—”

Gah! ” Charlie grabs the closest man and tosses him to the side before bursting in through the double doors. His weight slants to one side as his body falls, and he stumbles into the doorframe, grasping it to steady himself.

In this huge room, there are five people: Parker, the Lang girl, little Riri, and a gray-haired man he doesn’t recognize. At once, all four of them seem to jump; the little girl jumps off the operating table and cowers beneath, the boy hops down in front of her with a cry of pain. Riri rushes to him, hands up.

“Charlie,” she starts, “you have to understand—”

Charlie is the king of kings, the f*cking almighty, and she’s trying to tell him what’s true? He grabs a fistful of her shirt’s collar and yanks her forward. “Why the hell are they out? What did you do?”

She’s yelling and rambling and trying to explain, but he can’t understand her too-fast words. His eyes find the gray-haired man in scrubs and he feels the threat of him as though the man is holding a knife to Charlie’s own throat. He raises his gun and it’s gone—when the hell did he put it down? “Who’s that? WHO DID YOU LET IN HERE!”

Shrinking, she glances to the right, as though for help. Over in the corner is Haroun—that boy who Riri’s always following around.

Her friend raises his hands, palms out, like he didn’t do a thing. “I don’t even know where she got the doc,” he says, backing away from Charlie before sidestepping towards the door. “This was Riri’s idea.”

“You said he needed—” The stupid girl glances at Charlie, and she takes a sudden step back. “—that he needed a doctor! Tell him! Tell him what you said!”

“I just said he might need one! I didn’t say go grab one off the f*cking street!”

Open-mouthed, the girl looks from her friend, to Charlie, back to her friend, and then to the three behind her: the kids and the doctor. At once, the girl is rambling too fast to even understand, repeating his name so many times it becomes a permanent echo. She’s explaining what happened, something about Parker’s head and tricking a doctor into their car. “— but Charlie, Charlie, listen, listen—please, listen—Jon nearly killed the kid! I was helping you! I had to get him to someone! A doctor! Anybody! But we couldn’t let him leave, so I had to—”

“Shut up!” snaps Charlie. “Is this true? You let them out of their—their cage! You stupid bitch! ” The first hit is hard—her face is soft but he hits bone on the first blow. He wants to hit her until her face is nothing but blood and pulp. She deserves this for disobeying him; who could disobey him, Charlie Keene, the cornerstone, the forerunner, the holy deliverer? He’s the only one who knows what they need to sacrifice to save the world!

He hits and he hits, one fist after another, until she puts her hands between him and her, palms up, and gasps, “Wait, wait, wait —listen, listen! He needed a doctor—I had to get him help! If I hadn’t he’d—he’d be dead—you were doing too much!” Spittle pinkened by blood slides down the side of her chin; blood from her nose runs into her mouth. “Please, Charlie! I couldn’t like—take him to the hospital! He would'a been found! I did this for you! I did this for you! We can’t save the world without him!”

I do what I want, you stupid f*cking bitch!” He keeps going; the girl is helpless to his fist, fist, fist… Charlie can hardly stop himself. “This is what happens,” he spits, with a snarl thick with rage, “when you disobey me!”

He beats her until she stops fighting back, until she shuts up, until she cries…

…until something in her voice makes him stop. He finds his hands are aching and wet and the girl beneath him is sobbing. “You betrayed me,” he says, but the words don’t feel like they belong to him. It’s an echo of him, And he realizes at once that she’s shrinking away from him. Charlie grabs her arm with his sore hand, and the girl cries out. “Charlie,” she says, through a blubbered mouthful of blood. “Look… Please… I kept them…alive…for you… For you…”

When he looks up, he finds who she’s talking about. Parker and little Lang, ducked under the operating table, faces pale. They’re almost unrecognizable like this: clean, bandaged, healed.

The buzz is starting to drain from him. He blinks, and he blinks again, and his eyes are suddenly sore in their sockets. Charlie can’t remember what he saw that made him so angry. All he sees now are those kids—Parker and the Lang girl. They look almost normal . No old blood spatter on those hospital gowns. No grime coating their limbs. No half-open gashes in their skulls.

With the way Peter is guarding the little girl, they almost look like brother and sister.

Charlie has a sister. In his life before, he had Julia. Sweet Julia. They used to look like that: Julia, older and pushing him behind her; Charlie, younger and cowering behind her. She used to lock him in the closet when their dad came home, used to walk him to school every day to make sure he got there. Julia was always there, bloody like Parker is now, yet ready to tend to his every bump and bruise.

Parker and Lang, Julia and Charlie.

Julia used to rub his back like that, used to stand in front of him like that, used to whisper to him like that. There’s a feeling in him now, heavy like a full stomach. He hates doing this—thinking about the old days, thinking about his sister—but it comes on so fast that he lets go of the black girl’s shirt. She falls and scrambles backwards, where a gray-haired man grabs her and pushes her behind him.

sh*t. sh*t. Who’s this guy again?

“He doesn’t know anything,” says the black girl. Her face is so swollen that Charlie has trouble remembering who she is. “We knocked him out before we took him.”

“We did,” adds a man from the side of the room. It’s Jon. “I swear. We wouldn’t do anything to, like, jeopardize our mission, Charlie. Riri knows that. We all made sure everything went nice and smooth.”

They’re all talking at once—Jon about the mission, Riri about the doctor, Haroun about Riri—and Charlie hits his head to block out the noise. Fist to his temple, he hits until his brain is ringing with orange-stained pain. “Just—everyone shut up! ” He points an aching finger at the girl and then at her gray-haired doctor.. “By the time I get back, he better be dead or locked in a cage. You understand me?”

She nods, still in sniveling tears, and he spits on the floor.

TUESDAY, MAY 15 — 7:11 PM

Riri knows one thing for sure: Charlie has left a mess in his wake.

During his high, he tried to f*cking kill one of the girls, Megan, strangling her with his bare hands, and now she’s got a swollen throat and a truckload of pain meds in her system, courtesy of Dr. Skivorski. The doctor fixes her up as best he can, but she’s mostly bruised, not broken, so there’s not a lot he can do. “They’re not coming back soon?” asks Riri, just to make sure. Riri sniffs, and she can taste the blood as it goes down the back of her throat—runny like an over-easy egg.

There’s an entire horde of people in the operating room now, shuffling and inspecting things, half of them high. “Nah,” says Jon. He’s got a swollen eye, and his head is kind of tilting to one side. “They took the truck and everything.”

She relaxes. “Then we’re fine.” She’s not sure that Haroun or any of the others understand her response; her face bulges with swollen flesh, making it difficult to talk without sounding like her mouth’s full of cotton.

“Well, it’s past seven,” adds Mason, with his hammer returned to his side. “We gotta get Parker on the screen.” His leg bounces erratically from where he’s sitting. “If Charlie comes back and we haven’t put him up there, we’ll all be looking like Riri.” He gestures with a trembly hand at Riri’s face, but it drops quickly after she glares back in his direction. If it weren’t for Mason’s obsession with his sledgehammer, they wouldn’t be in this mess at all.

“Forget that,” snaps Glenn, with a wave of his casted arm. “If we don’t put him in, Charlie will kick us out of the crew. That means no more of the good sh*t, no more of anything. No food, no bed, no roof. No speed, no dope, no crack, no nothing. We’ll all be back where we started.”

“We’re not going anywhere,” insists Haroun. “Jon literally just shattered Parker’s skull with a hammer and now we’re just throwing him back into the ring? Give him a second—”

“Look,” adds Lyle, who usually never says more than a couple words at a time. “If one kid’s gotta get beat so I can get some ice, it’s no question.” Ice. Meth. Riris heard most of these terms so many times that she doesn’t have to think about translating in her head.

Another one, this time Daria. She says, “Charlie gave me a home, y’all. I’m not risking it for that mutant kid.”

“Yeah, same,” adds another girl, from farther away. “f*ck that kid.”

“Look at him,” Haroun snaps. “Put him through another hour in the Room and you’ll kill him.”

“It's one kid! One kid!” starts another. “So Parker gets beat again, fine! I’ll do it myself if you all wanna be such f*cking cowards!”

“Listen to what you’re saying,” interjects Nick, in that too-quiet tone. “He’s a kid. He’s a kid, just a little older than Riri. Have you all forgotten that?”

“Have you forgot,” starts Glenn, “that that kid snapped my arm in half?”

“For f*ck’s sake, Glenn!” shouts Haroun. “Stop milking it! It’s one arm! He didn’t take your damn kidney!”

“Nah, nah, he’s got a point—he broke my ribs with like one kick—“ says Jon. “He’s stronger than all of us. He can take a couple more hits.”

They argue and argue, each person in the crew going back and forth about Parker’s future until finally Riri stands up. “Guys, stop.” Most of them turn to look at her. Jon stares at the table. Haroun winces, glancing down at his phone. Riri looks like a f*cking wreck, bloodied from Charlie’s fist, her mouth so swollen that half of her words end up jumbled, but that’s exactly why they listen to her. She can see it on their faces. The crew feel bad about what happened to her, so they’ll listen if it means she feels better. “We’re gonna put him on the screen.”

Haroun chokes out a nervous laugh. “Riri—”he tries.

She glares at him. “But we’re not gonna hurt him.”

TUESDAY, MAY 15 — 7:25 PM — DAY 39

Their biggest guy, Jon, carries Peter bridal-style to the Room. Peter’s too tired to fight back. They assure him over and over again that Charlie’s not here; to Peter, all that means is he’s gonna be at the end of someone else’s fist: Mason, Jon, Nick?

Cassie screams and flails the entire way to the Room, but as soon as she sees her dad, she starts crying and reaching for him. Lang, still wheelchair-bound from Mason’s hammer, reaches for his daughter, and the hug is so tight that Peter worries momentarily that he’s gonna hurt her.

Setting him down in the chair, one cuffs his right arm to it. Peter’s left remains free. He stretches his fingers. Some of them that were broken just yesterday have healed up; he can flex them properly without too much pain. His head, however, still feels like a boulder on his neck—thick with bandages and soupy with discomfort.

Riri crouches in front of him—a skinny man behind her warns her to back up, but she doesn’t. “We’re gonna do something a little different today,” she says.

Peter only caught bits in pieces of their conversation; his head rang too loud with the pain of surgery for him to focus on the addicts’ verdict. He sucks in a breath and holds it; like Cassie’s, his chest aches with every inhale. “f*ck you,” he manages.

Riri shakes her head. Behind her, a couple of Charlie’s men fiddle with the computer, as Scott’s still busy crying with his daughter. It’s not often that they get to see each other. “You’re real,” Scott Lang keeps saying, grasping his girl tightly. “You’re real.”

What were they going to do to him today? Beat him? Electrocute him? Burn him? Bleed him? Peter’s honestly not sure how much more his body can take. He cranes his sore neck to find Cassie, but she’s busy talking in hushed, hurried tones to her dad.

Peter doesn’t feel like himself. His body, usually beaten like tenderized beef, seems to quiver with its newfound lack of pain. His skull has healed; if he touches the back of his head with his hand, Peter finds sealed bone below his skin. When it comes down to it, Peter’s body will heal; it just needs the sustenance to do it.

The rest of his body is not quite as restored as his wrecked skull. His mutation usually heals the most important things first—his broken nose and yellowed bruises and fractured bones are left to a normal healing pace. Those may take days or weeks to heal, yet the stitches on his head are already swallowed by healthy skin. His body knows how to prioritize.

The girl shifts suddenly, and there’s something in her hand—Peter flinches bodily, so hard that he jerks his bandaged head against the headrest of the vibranium chair.

When he opens his eyes again, they stare at each other; Peter breathes hard and fast through his nose, and the girl breathes low and steady. He notices now, for the first time, that the girl looks beaten. Her voice is different, her n’ s and m ’s and b ’s all blocked by her swollen nose. Like him, Riri’s nose looks crooked. Broken, probably. A lot of people don’t really break their nose , said May once, after he came back from patrol with a bent nose. It’s the cartilage that’s actually broken.

Riri’s holding something now with a stiff arm, as though she’d forgotten her hand still grasped it.

It’s not a hammer, not a knife, not a cattle prod, not a syringe, not a clamp.

It’s a phone.

It's a corded landline phone, a gray-brown one that he’s seen Charlie use dozens of times before. He’s just never been close enough to see it. The rectangular buttons are thick and marked in a faded sans-serif font. The curly cord is knotted in several places.

Peter hasn’t held a phone since the day he was taken.

He glances from the girl, to the phone, to the other people in the room, and he curls his cuffed hand into a fist, pulling it tight against the armrest and backing up. “Where’s Charlie?” he asks, low and quiet.

“Not here,” says Haroun, just as Riri says, “Gone.”

This feels like a trick. It must be a trick.

The phone is cold and plastic. It feels surreal to be touching something so important. like touching a railroad track just before the train comes, or holding a piece of the Berlin Wall.

He drops the phone on the ground, and it clicks against the linoleum. He curls back into the chair, aching in every inch of him. “What is this?” Peter asks.

Riri has a pinched look on her face. “Look, Charlie’s not here, but we gotta prove to him that we put you on the TV still—we’re not gonna hurt you today, we’re just gonna let you talk to him.”

Peter is quiet; his body pulsates with blood. “Talk to who?” His voice is unrecognizable to his own ears. He sounds so subdued, so dry and worn.

Riri nudges the phone towards him, but she doesn’t pick it up. “Tony Stark.” She dials the buttons then: it’s a number Peter has long memorized.

Peter lunges for the phone quick, grabbing before either of them can change their minds.

Peter cradles it to his ear with both hands, pressing the top to his ear and the bottom to his chin. The phone rings barely once before it is immediately picked up. “I'm sorry,” says the man on the other line. “I’ll work faster, I promise I was waiting by the phone, I was waiting but you didn’t come so I didn’t know what to do so I-I-I just kept working—trying a lot of new things to make this work, I swear to God I’m gonna make this sh*t work—”

Peter opens his mouth, then closes it, then opens it again and swallows.

Mr. Stark is still rambling on the other line, his voice fuzzied by the old phone. “—adjusted the chemical compound of the Tesseract replicate, but when I measured its heat signature by its contrast radiant intensity, it wasn’t the same! I’ll keep trying, I’m trying to increase the intensity by packing more fuel into each—“

Peter Parker finally manages to find his voice from the spot in his chest where it’s been hiding, curled up like a spider in its web. He doesn’t feel like a superhero now, or a mutant or a creature or or the only guardian of a little girl or even a kidnapped kid in an abandoned Winter Soldier bunker. He feels like Peter.

Peter gathers the phone onto his lap, cord and all, hugging it like Cassie is hugging Scott. Mr. Stark is still going, talking like he’s got a gun to his temple. Peter imagines his face, his salt and pepper hair, his immaculate beard, his half-smirk, his proud smile, his kind eyes.

“Mr. Stark?” he calls out.

The man on the other line stops dead—he goes quiet like he’s been shot. Then there’s a pause that sounds like a vacuum, like outer space, like a million and one stars. “H-hey, buddy.”

Notes:

i’m gonna try to start posting more regularly? but that might require shorter chapters for more frequent posting. thoughts? how long do u guys want each chap? i think i could manage 5k every week maybe? if i set a more concrete deadline haha maybe i’d update more. lemme k what u guys think.

also plz point out typos! would be a big help cuz i usually go no beta cuz i’m stupid

thanks for keeping up, u guys, love y’all

Chapter 10: the world is full of fishes

Summary:


Tony tries to act like he’s not lying through his f*cking teeth. His left arm is aching, and now numbness prickles up to the elbow. “Of course I do. I promise. I—I—I promise. You’re gonna be out of there soon, I promise.” He’s so f*cking exhausted; he’s been taking sleep supplement pill after sleep supplement pill, so many that he barely sleeps an hour a night before his body startles himself awake.

Peter, quietly, between hiccups: “Okay.”

He’s so quiet. He’s so damn quiet. The Peter he knows usually never shuts up, but this one has head surgery and a busted leg and is looking around on the screen like someone’s about to hit him.

Notes:

chap title from 'advice' by alex g

i know this is weird guys but this chapter is gonna b mostly centered around this one flashback. i got it in my head and then couldn’t let it go. it’s half important to the plot but definitely includes some triggers which i will be putting here

CW: alcohol abuse, drug abuse, nonconsensual drug use, attempted sexual assault against a minor, medical circ*mstances concerning sexual assault against a minor, violence, clinical and non-explicit references to child sexual abuse and child exploitation

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Sometime after the Vulture incident at Peter's Homecoming dance, Tony sits Peter down for a talk in the upstate building. He lets the kid into the kitchen, makes sure he gets more than enough to eat, and sits with him at the kitchen counter. “So, Spider-Boy,” he says, “we…”

“Spider-Man,” mutters Peter.

“…need a code word.”

“What?”

“A code word,” Tony repeats, and already he feels like the idea is stupid. “Like something to let me know that you’re in trouble.”

Peter’s chewing through a mouthful of leftover lasagna when he answers, “Okay…”

Tony scratches his head. “Or… if you feel unsafe. or if you think someone’s following you, or if you’re feeling terrible and you need me to come. Anything. If you get kidnapped and the guy makes me call you for random money? You can say it and i’ll know you’re in trouble.”

Peter forks through the tupperware for another good bite. “Um,” he says, mouth full, “If someone has me, and he calls you about something as dumb as ransom money, I can probably take him. I’ll literally be home for dinner, no problem.”

“Well—what if he has a gun?”

“I can take a guy with a gun, Mr. Stark. I’m literally Spider-Man.”

“Forget it—forget it! No more hypotheticals. Look, at some point you might need my help, and if you do, I need us to have a code word. Something. I just want to make sure that you always feel comfortable telling me that you’re in trouble, like with that Eagle—”

Peter chimes in, “Vulture!”

“—guy or whoever else comes after you. No matter what kind of trouble you’re in. We just need a word you would never say. Like…bazooka or sugarplum or Kansas.”

Peter frowned. His eyes suddenly lighten, and he stops chewing, swallows, and pushes the tupperware away with one hand. “Mr. Stark, are you… Are you saying we should have a safe word?”

Scandalized, Tony stares at the kid, who’s still grinning at him like a maniac. “Peter Benjamin Parker, please never say that to me again.” He puts his hands over his eyes. “Oh my god you are a child, you should not know these things—“

“I’m literally sixteen, that’s the age of consent in like, most states—”

“Not in this one, so shut up shut up shut up—“

Ultimately, they decide on The Godfather. Tony had been harassing him about seeing the movie for ages, so Peter says, “In any universe where I’m watching the Godfather, I must be literally dying so—that can be our safe word.”

“CODE WORD, PETER. I SAID CODE. WORD. THIS IS NOT A SAFE WORD—“

Peter starts laughing again.

This code word was an easy way to alert Tony that he was in danger and needed immediate help. At first, Tony thought it might become a joke between them, but the Spider-Kid took it seriously. They started using the code word during fights first; whether they were fighting an alien or a robot or a witch, if Peter got hit too hard, Tony would hear, “Godfather, godfather!” over his radio system. That meant he needed immediate help, medical or otherwise. Then, Tony would drop everything to get to him and solve the danger he was in.

And it worked the other way around, too. If Tony’s suit failed during a fight, or if he get overwhelmed, he’d say the code word and Peter would rush to his aid.

It became easier and easier for that little dark-haired teen to admit when he was in trouble. They’ve only joked about it a couple times, Peter threatening to say it over every minor inconvenience, but they don’t do that anymore.

It only took one day in late May with Peter for Tony to stop joking altogether.

TUESDAY, MAY 15 — 7:34 PM

Peter’s voice is young and pained and f*cking shaking when he says Tony’s name.

Not even his name. His last name. Mr. Stark. As though he, the man who put him through all of this torture, is somehow still worthy of being called by such a formal title.

“H-hey, buddy,” he says back, because he doesn’t know what else to say. On the television he can see that empty room: all concrete and linoleum and vibranium, with the chair in the center. them all: the girl who delivers his supplies, the boy who drives her, and a few other crew members.

Onscreen, Peter Parker looks nothing like the dirty, battered boy he’s so used to seeing. His head is wound in bandages and he’s half-dressed in a blue hospital gown. His leg is trapped in a cast. With one hand cuffed, he’s got Charlie’s phone in the other hand; before he answers, he cries silently, no noise over the phone. Grainy, live-streamed tears come down his cheeks, his nose running into the cracks in his lips. He’s sniffling and he’s sniffling and all at once he’s crying. “Mr. Stark,” he says again, and it’s so wet and full of tears that it’s hard to make out. “Hi, hi, hi.”

They've cleaned him up nicely, wiped him down so that his pale skin shines. Tony puts a hand on the flatscreen. “What's going on? What's happening? Are you—are they—”

“They’re here,” he says. “They said I could talk to you. That they’d leave me alone today.”

“Oh. Oh. Oh—okay.”

“Yeah.” A sniff. “They got me a doctor.”

“They did?” His voice is surging like a rocket taking off. “Tha-that’s good. That's good. And your head? I saw the—the—“ —blowtorch, punch, hammer, blood— “the hit.”

“Doctor fixed it. Did some surgery.” He’s holding the phone so close to his ear that it’s buried in his mess of dark hair. His other ear, Tony knows, is still burned into a melted clump of flesh.

The kid’s crying again. “It's real good to hear your voice, Pete,” Tony says. He’s gripping the phone so tight it hurts. “Real good.”

A choked laugh. “You, too, sir.”

“I think we’re a little past sir, bud.”

There’s a stretch of silence so long it could’ve wrapped around Tony’s throat and strangled him where he stood.

Another sob. “Is it gonna work?”

What else can he say? “It’s gonna work.” Now he’s f*cking crying. “It’s—it’s gonna work, I’m close, I am. I—I am. I’m gonna get you home.”

Sobbing, sobbing, his kid is sobbing and all he can do is hold the damn phone. “Do you promise?” manages Peter.

Tony tries to act like he’s not lying through his f*cking teeth. His left arm is aching, and now numbness prickles up to the elbow. “Of course I do. I promise. I—I—I promise. You’re gonna be out of there soon, I promise.” He’s so f*cking exhausted; he’s been taking sleep supplement pill after sleep supplement pill, so many that he barely sleeps an hour a night before his body startles himself awake.

Peter, quietly, between hiccups: “Okay.”

He’s so quiet. He’s so damn quiet. The Peter he knows usually never shuts up, but this one has head surgery and a busted leg and is looking around on the screen like someone’s about to hit him.

“You know,” says Peter. “I have a lot of time to—to think in here, and I… I’ve been thinking about…” A wet sniff. “…what we're gonna do when I’m out of here…” The kid can barely get a word out now—he’s crying hard, gasping.

On the screen, Charlie’s guys watch solemnly, some whispering to each other, but they’re not close enough to the phone for Tony to catch their words.

“Yeah?” prompts Tony; his fingers ache now from holding to his phone so tightly.

They’re stuck. They’re both stuck. Neither of them can say anything too strong without repercussion: Tony because of Charlie’s rules and Peter because he wants to keep talking. “We could watch the Godfather.”

Tony’s stomach twists into a tangled knot. “Peter,” he chokes out.

Peter’s never managed to get their code word out like this before—never been able to have a conversation with Tony since he was taken. And here he was, tied to the chair in that horrible room, begging for Tony to come help him with one simple word.

He’s crying harder now. “I’m never gonna see that f*cking movie, am I? I'm never gonna… Everyone’s seen it, but me, I’m gonna die here, I’m gonna—” A scream and “Don’t touch me!” and all of a sudden Peter is thrashing on the screen, whipping the phone at the nearest person’s head. A man behind him pins him down by one arm and stabs a needle into it, pushing down the plunger before his thrashing slows, and then he’s sobbing more, just slower, crying out, “Godfather, godfather…” until at last he slows fully, thrashing in slow, sloppy flails.

The girl beside him takes the phone from his sedated grip, and her voice is clear and nasally, like she has a cold. “We gave you a gift, Stark,” she says. “So give us what we want. Give us a good prototype, and maybe we’ll let you talk to the kid again.”

It’s late when Peter calls.

Way too late. It’s near-midnight; Tony and Pepper are asleep. They’re both awoken by the sudden ring of Tony’s cell. His phone’s set to silent—except for Pepper, Rhodey, Peter, and a couple others—so it does in fact ring out loud. That stupid Cantina theme song from Star Wars is the kid’s ringtone; Peter set it himself.

Tony doesn’t need to rub his eyes awake; the kid’s late-night call sobers him up aplenty. He fumbles for the phone and picks up just as Pepper says, tiredly, “Is that Peter?” She recognizes the ringtone, too.

Tony nods. On the other line is a chaos of tinny noise: talking, music, laughing… Peter’s voice sounds funny. He shouts something incomprehensible, and immediately Tony knows something is up.

“Peter?” he calls out. His voice is still grainy with sleep. “You okay?” He slips on a pair of pants and a T-shirt from the floor.

There’s way too much sound going on behind Peter’s voice. Tony hears something, but most of it is swallowed by the background noise—dozens of people talking, some laughing, pop music blasting.

Finally, Peter’s voice, fast and rambling, ankle-deep in a conversation about fraternities and engineering majors. He’s shouting, laughing, and then there’s a crashing sound— “Oh, sh*t! My phone!” Another series of clatters, like the phone’s been dropped on hardwood, and at last Peter’s voice becomes clear through the chaos. “Oh— oh, sh*t —everyone shut up, I think my—” A giggly laugh. “Ohmygod shut uuup! Someone’s calling me! Everyone shut up!”

No one shuts up; if anything, the people around him only gets louder. “Peter,” says Tony. So he’s at a party—usually when Peter calls past eight o’clock, it’s with an emergency.

Before he can continue, the kid’s addressing him. “Hey, Mr. Stark! Heyyyy! Hey… Yeah, what’s up?” He’s laughing again, but there’s something wrong. His laughter is too hard, his voice too slippery, his words too sloppy. “I think—heyyy, man—what d’you need? I’m kinda… Kiiiinda…” He trails off, and then he’s talking to someone else.

It takes too long for it to click in his head. Peter’s drunk. “Peter—buddy—are you okay?”

“Duuude—Mr. Stark—sorry!” Peter laughs again, like he can’t help it. “You don’t need to check up! I swear, it’s all good! It’s allll gooood…”

At once, Tony moves through his lab to reach his computer. He mutes the phone, tells FRIDAY to access the Spider-Kid’s location, and then unmutes again. “Kid, no joke, where are you?” Peter is fifteen and much too young to be this drunk. Yeah, Tony did much worse at his age—but Peter is Peter, and this is unusual for him. So something has to be wrong. “Did something happen?”

The kid’s rambling right now, but his voice is clearer now, as though he’s gone outside or into a separate room—the background noise dissipated into a low buzz. “…but I’m literally, like, not on a mission right now! I finished finals! And I just wanna… Just wanna… Like, let me live! So I’m at like ONE party; sorry, sorry I’m having a good time!! ‘Cause I—like not everything can be school, school, schoooool, you know?”

“I know, buddy, but sounds like you’ve had enough good time for one night.” Peppers behind him now, tying a robe around herself and mouthing, He okay?

Party, Tony mouths back, with a little drinking motion—thumb and pinky extended from a fist, a little shake in front of the mouth—and she nods back, hair messy, and rubs her eyes again. I’ll call May.

Almost as soon as Pepper leaves—maybe to find her phone—FRIDAY’s system announces: “Sir, no location could be found from Peter. Both his suit and his emergency tracker are offline.”

He’s gone from confused to concerned in less than a minute. Peter has yet to tell him where he is.

Tony’s chest goes cold, like a window frosting over. “Peter.” His voice sounds so serious he sounds like his father for a second. “Why did you turn your tracker off?” he’s trying so hard not to freak out on the kid, to get him to stay on the line. instead of getting annoyed and hanging up

“Mr. Stark, chill out! I’ve got everything under controool, alright? I’m good!! So thanks for calling, but seriously, there’s nothing to worry about!!”

“Peter,” he starts, and the kid stops talking. “You called me.”

That’s when Tony remembers. Peter can’t get drunk. Not really. For someone with his metabolism, he would need such an obscene amount of alcohol that it would take an entire fraternity to match him, and he’d burn through in the same amount of time it took for him to drink it. For Peter—drugs, substances, medications—they only ever lasted a fraction of what they should.

So there was no possible way that Peter was drunk.

“Oh, shoot—um, sorry—soorrrrry! I must’ve—must’ve accidentally—um…”

“How much have you had to drink, buddy?” he asks; at the same time, he types a few more commands to FRIDAY, trying to reroute whatever hacking the kid had done. He’s gonna kill that Ed—Ned—whoever. Or give him a job. Whatever keeps him from putting Peter in danger.

“What? None! I didn’t—” A pause. “Are you mad? You sound mad.”

“I’m not mad,” he says, but the tones of freakish concern bordering on how-could-you-be-so-stupid really do sound mad. “I’m not mad. Just tell me where you are. I’m gonna come pick you up.”

Peter makes a sound that’s halfway between annoyance and amusem*nt. “Mr. Stark! Literally, it’s gonna burn through me anyway, just let me do this!”

“No, Peter, I’m picking you up. Tell me where you are right now, I’m serious.”

“You’re not my dad—I don’t need you to come get me!” All of a sudden he’s laughing, laughing harder than before, and then he’s gasping, sucking in air between each laugh. “I’m gonna… I’m gonna…”

“Peter? Peter!” He’s laughing again, and Tony panics. “Talk to me, buddy! Hey! What’s going on?”

Another laugh. “Sorry, I think—I'm getting kind of slow, this is so weeeeeiiird! I feel… I feel…”

“Buddy, I’m gonna pick you up. This is a college party? Do you know what college?”

“Ugh, Mr. Stark, literally,” whines Peter. “It’ll burn out of my stem in, liiike, five seconds, I’m gooood…”

“Peter,” he says slowly, like he’s chewing on a tough piece of meat. “Tell me where you are. Right now. I’m not kidding.”

“I’m… Um… Sorority?” The kid seems to ponder the questions. “Some girl’s room… She likes Harry Styyyles, she’s got a poster on the ceeeeiling.”

His voice is slurring again, one vowel slipping into the next. Tony asks, “Did anyone come with you? Ned? MJ?” Those kids’ names come to him crystal clear.

Peter hums and then he goes kind of quiet. “I don’t know, I’m kinda tiiiiired…”

“Peter!” God, he’s gonna kill this kid once he gets home safe. “Hey! Stay awake and talk to me—is there anyone with you? Did you take something?”

“Mr. Stark…” More laughing. “I only had like, one drink! MJ felt, like, sick, so sheeee… She went home, and I had the rest of hers…”

“Okay, okay, just—do you know where you are?”

“Somewhere… The Bronx… I dunno… You know, I never got” —a noise that kind of sounds like a gag or a cough— “my driver’s… uh, my… driver’s license… We took the traaaaain...and MJ had a friend…who has a friend…who has a, um, brother? Who, who goes heeeere, to the party… To the…”

Tony can’t track a train. Tony can’t track a train. “Damnit, damnit, damnit! Okay, Peter, listen to me, I think someone put something in your—”

“You know… This is, like, so funny, Mr. Stark…” A hiccup. “‘Cause you told me… You told me… You…” Another hiccup, and then a gagging noise. “Told me I… I couldn’t get… Drunk, but… I proved you wrong, huh? Right? Funny, right? Just one…” He gags again. “Mr…. Stark?”

“I’m right here, Peter, I’m coming, okay? Do you know what street you’re on?” He manages to get into Peter’s suit at last—FRIDAY alerts him with its location: the Parker home in Queens. “Damnit, Peter! You didn’t take your suit?”

Peter’s laughing, but it’s slow and sickly. “I feel so…” He inhales a little too fast and then back out again. “I’m… I’m…”

“Peter? Peter!” When Peter goes quiet again, Tony knows for sure—something’s seriously wrong. A clatter—he must’ve dropped the phone. “Stay awake, buddy! I want you to throw up if you feel like it, you hear me? I need you to get this out of your—“

There’s a sudden bang —a door hitting the wall behind it. A couple girls laughing.

“Ohmygod—Katie, there’s a guy in your bed!” Giggles and giggles. “Heyyyyy…”

Peter doesn’t respond; Tony keeps shouting his name.

Pepper’s back by now, beside him, and she looks just as concerned as him, her strawberry-blonde brows twisted. She’s tapping into her phone about as fast as Tony’s typing into his computer, and then she’s speaking into it, something about police and locations and boroughs and alerts. How does he get access to the kid’s phone? He has to find a way…

“Peter!” barks Tony, and he’s typing again, typing and typing and typing to get the kid’s location. Bronx—sorority—he could be anywhere! “Peter! Talk to me!”

Nothing on the other line; he can now hear the music blast behind the kid, some shuffling, some more whispering from the girls, and then—

Peter’s voice: “Wait, wait—“ in what could only be described as panic.

Tony freezes.

THURSDAY, MAY 25 — 8:00 AM

Maggie and Jim Paxton arrive thirty minutes early to their meeting.

It’s a warm day, so Jim dresses in cargo shorts and a Hawaiian shirt; Maggie arrives in her work clothes—a purple blouse and black skirt—with her nametag still pinned to her cotton top.

The meeting’s not with the police, although Officer Paz does attend—clad in police uniform, vest and all. The meeting is at the regional office for the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children.

Officer Paz and a sweater-vested man meet them there; they are almost immediately ushered into another room with a conference table and rows of plastic chairs. Inside the room are two other NCMEC employees: a younger woman and an elderly one, but they stay at the other end of the table without speaking. “I know you’re not used to this organization,” says Julia Paz. Her hair is pulled back in a bun, but her hairstyle doesn’t hide that it looks like the policewoman hasn’t washed her hair in a week. “But I swear the NCMEC does good work here. We work with them on most of our missing children cases.”

The man gives them both slight smiles and shakes their hands. He’s black, overweight, and middle-aged; he’s dressed like he walked out of a 70s sitcom instead of a child abduction office. “Welcome to our regional office. I know this is difficult, so I’m going to get straight to the point. Of the missing children reports that come through us, most involve runaways and family abductions.” The man has a manila file with Cassie’s full name on it. “Of almost three thousand of our missing children cases last year, eighty-seven percent were runaways, ten percent family abductions, and less than one percent were non-family abductions—that’s you.” He points to a photo of Scott and Cassie stashed in the file. “Although her file states the biological father as our top suspect for your child’s abductor, you did witness non-family members abducting her, right?”

Maggie answers, “That’s right.”

“So, because of that, we do refer to your case as a non-family abduction, so they went to my department for assistance.”

“Now, statistically speaking, children abducted by non-family members are likely to die within the first 3 hours with their abductor—but because we have proof of Cassandra—”

“Cassie,” corrects Jim.

“—living as soon as May 14th of this year, over a month after her abduction, there’s a very good chance she will stay alive. Unfortunately, that does mean that, if they are keeping her, the likelihood she is physically alright, especially in the absence of her father, the presence of sedatives in her forensic reports, the state of the woman she was associated with… All this does mean that our department and the police station have one general conclusion about what has happened to Cassie. It is, in all likelihood, child sex trafficking.”

Maggie grips the back of Jim’s uniform so hard that it tightens around his shoulders.

“NYPD arrested a man just last week with illegal possession of photos of children. Thousands of photos. Big cases like these can be really helpful for non-family abductions. Any children who resembles missing ones, like your Cassie, their families have been alerted and brought to offices just like this one.”

He brings out a laptop this time, where he opens a folder, and in it another folder, and on and on until he reaches one labeled a series of numbers followed by an underscore and LANG. “I’m going to show you a few of these photos, and if you could attempt to tell us if this is indeed Cassie in the photos. I know it will be difficult, but this is necessary. If you feel the need to leave at any time, my coworkers” —he gestures to the pair of women on the other side of the conference room— “can help you outside. Get you water, food, a quiet place, whatever you need.”

They both nod.

The man shows them photos—dozens of them—so many and so horrific that Maggie holds her breath seeing each one. The worst of them are blurred out, but the faces are left intact. “No,” she chokes out, as the man clicks to the next photo. “No, that’s not her.”

He clears his throat. “I want to remind you that your daughter may not look like she did on the day she was taken. Her abductors may have adjusted her hair color, hair length, even some of her facial features. She may have a different weight, some scarring, even open wounds. None of these are unusual.”

“Do you think,” starts Jim, “we could get some time alone with these?” He’s looking green, and he keeps chafing the corner of his mouth with his sleeve.

“We don’t generally leave family members alone with photos like these. It’s a matter of privacy.”

“For who?” spits Maggie. “The bastard that did this?”

“No,” says the employee. For the first time since she met him, he looks sad, his mouth tight and grim. “For the children.”

Maggie grimaces. All of a sudden the feeling of her blonde hair against her neck is nauseating; she pulls it away from her neck with a black hairtie.

“Mr. Paxton, sir?” Jim’s looking greener by the second; he keeps swallowing and swallowing and pressing his hand against his stomach. “These photos may be disturbing, but I assure you we’re doing anything in our power to locate the children in them—do you need a break?”

Jim shakes his head, brown hair barely shifting, but then he nods, his head going up and down like a bobblehead. When he gets up from his chair, he stumbles a little, tripping over the leg, and then walks out with his hand braced against the doorjamb. One of the NCMEC employees follows him out, her ebony heels clicking.

As soon as Jim’s gone, Maggie sits up: spine straight, hands clasped, knees taut. It’s almost like the tighter she winds herself, the more self-assured she will be. “Sir,” she says, “I’m not sure that—that she would even be in any pictures…like this. Scott would never let anything like that happen to her. He loves Cassie; he’d never let anything happen to her.” She shakes her head, gesturing to the laptop, but still she wonders when Jim’s going to come back.

“We don’t know that he’s still with your daughter,” says the man brusquely. “More often than not, family members are the ones who open children up to exploitation. For money, for drugs, for—”

Maggie interrupts, “Scott wouldn’t do this. He wouldn’t do this.” There’s a spot in her chest that aches over how many times she’s said this. Not Scott. Not my Scott. They may not be together anymore, but they are raising a daughter together. She knows him through and through. “He

Gently, Officer Paz prompts, “Remember what Officer Woo said? What I said? It’s possible that Scott didn’t do it on purpose. If he got mixed up with the wrong people…”

“Never,” snaps Maggie. “He’s not like that. He doesn’t get…mixed up. I don’t know what happened to him, but I’m telling you, he would never do anything to hurt Cassie! That’s his daughter! Our daughter! His crimes… Everything he’s done, he did for our family and for Cassie. He would never put Cassie in harm's way. Never.” She scowls. “You know, not every person who’s been imprisoned is running around trying to destroy people’s lives. Scott—he had a life before he went to prison. He’s a person, too, you know. He doesn’t do drugs. He barely drinks or curses. Do you even know what he did?”

The man taps the file. “Burglary. Breaking and entering. Unauthorized use of a computer system with the intent to commit a felony.” He opens the file containing Scott’s information. “The fact is, your husband—ex-husband, excuse me—is a felon. He went missing at nearly the same time as your daughter. Neither of them have been seen since. Statistically speaking, he probably did something to your daughter, whether with his own two hands or by someone else’s.”

They go through more photos—little girls with hair dark like Cassie’s, others with her eyes or her face or her hands. None of them are Cassie. None of them are her baby girl.

She’s not sure if that’s a good thing or a bad one. If they find her, that means she’s alive, but trapped. Surviving the worst things imaginable. If they don’t, then they have no idea if she’s alive or dead.

There’s no happy ending for her Cassie.

They sit afterwards.

After taking away the photos and files, the workers let them stay in the conference room. It’s not a very populated building. In their morning here, they haven’t seen more than a couple families pass through, and no more than a dozen employees. It’s disturbing. It’s more than disturbing. Why isn’t everyone doing everything in their power to find all of these missing children? Runaways, kidnappees, throwaways, accidents? Babies, toddlers, kids, adolescents, teens, young adults? So many lost, and so few found.

Just a week ago, they were given a new glimmer of hope—a strand of Cassie’s hair in that McDonald’s wrapper, found on that dead girl at Lake Champlain, Vermont. Together, Maggie and Jim hunted every trace of their daughter that they could. Although the police had already searched, they went to each McDonald’s in Vermont, showing the workers photos: of Cassie, of Scott, of that dead girl Ava Starr… No one had seen them. In their free time, they go door-to-door, asking Vermonters about anything they’ve seen.

All of that work—all of their attempts to find Cassie—and still nothing. Nothing.

In the conference room, the television is on, set to some national news channel. On it, they’re showing video footage of some New Hampshire doctor who walked out of the clinic where he worked mid-shift and hasn’t been seen in days. “ Dr. Leonard Skivorski, known lovingly by Coos County as Doc Samson, works as a pediatrician at Weeks Medical Center in Lancaster, New Hampshire. Both his son and ex-wife have reported him missing as of a couple days ago. If anyone has information concerning…”

Maggie wishes they would just turn it off, not because she feels bad or because she doesn’t want to see it, but because she doesn’t care. It's harrowing how much she doesn’t care about this random doctor. Has she really lost so much empathy?

Jim starts to say something but stops. “Breakfast?” he says instead.

Maggie nods. She rubs her eyes, then her temples, and then the back of her neck.

“Where?”

For just a split second, she thinks of McDonald’s.

Rustling cloth. Giggles. A girl says, “Hey, he’s kinda cute…”

“Wait.” More gasping, and then so quietly that he’s not sure the girls themselves even hear it, “Godfather, godfather…”

Tony doesn’t waste one second; he gets up, tells Pepper to keep him on the phone, and leaves the building in nothing but his pajamas. There’s an emergency Iron Man suit by the front door—a Mark 42 suit—which, when he motions, attaches itself to Tony one piece at a time as he runs, until he’s out the door and into the sky, helmet closing over his face.

FRIDAY blinks to life in his helmet. He entered the suit so quickly that his flannel pants are caught in the cracks of the suit. “FRIDAY, access all cell towers within The Bronx area and ping for Peter’s phone by IMEI.”

“Boss, the legal ramifications of privately operating cell towers—

“Do it, FRI!”

“Pinging cell towers.”

With a digital map displaying before his eyes in neon green, FRIDAY announces, “An IMEI matching Peter’s was found within a twenty-mile radius containing three colleges and—

“I need better, FRI!”

A pause that is far too long; at last, a ping of successes “Peter’s phone found between Southern and Webster, a one-mile radius between—”

“Smaller!”

He’s flying four hundred miles per hour, then five hundred, then six hundred, and now he’s passing Jetblue and Delta and Southwest with ease, whipping past cabins of curious passengers.

His chest hurts. Peter said the code word. The code word. He asked Tony for help, whether or not he had known he was doing it. Something in him remembered that Tony was able to help. “Access reserve power—go as fast as humanly possible, you hear me?”

“Accessing reserve power.”

He feels it get faster, and faster, and faster; his speedometer keeps flying up—seven hundred, seven-fifty—and now Tony’s flying so fast that he can feel the gravity of his acceleration pulling on his face. There’s a pull, and a pop! and he’s broken the sound barrier. Eight hundred, nine hundred, a thousand miles per hour…

A bing! of failure from FRIDAY. “Unable to retrieve a smaller radius, boss.”

“Okay—search nearby university databases for girls named with any variety of Katie—Kaitlyn, Catherine, Kathy, whatever.” FRIDAY creates a list so long that Tony snaps, “Forget it.” What else… “Go through Peter’s whole conversation, sort out the background noise by person—pick out any proper nouns and show me.” A list of kids’ names, random people, and other names. Okay, sort for Greek letters—order by nearest to the center of the circumference. Delete any that aren't sororities or co-ed frats.”

FRIDAY grants him a list of Greek-letter names: five of them.

“Eliminate any outside of Peter’s IMEI radius.”

“Three possibilities left, boss.”

“Okay, delete any that don’t have a live-in resident named Katie—Katherine—Kaitlyn—any of those.”

“Still three, boss.”

“DAMNIT, FRI!” He needs something else, something to narrow it down. What else did Peter say? God, he knows this! Peter never s hut up about Harry Styles’ new album when it came out earlier this month. “Check Instagram for any Katie’s who posted within the last month about Harry Styles.”

“Only one—Katherine Wright of Alpha Xi Delta. Junior.”

“Where does she live?”

“Top floor, boss.”

“Map me the fastest route.”

“With or without—“

“Destruction of property included. Avoid any heat signatures.”

A ping! from FRIDAY. “Route mapped.”

“Take me there, FRI.”

FRI goes silent, and Tony keeps flying, rerouting towards Webster and Southern. It takes less than five seconds to reach the building; in those five seconds, Tony thinks only one sentence: Peter needs me.

Angling high above the building, he bashes through the ceiling, through layers of roof and insulation, to smash into Katie Wright’s room; he slows down enough to hit the floor with minor damage.

In the same second, Tony turns and sees. He will only ever get a half-second glance at the scene: Peter sprawled starfish on the bed, the girl on top of him, her hand halfway down his pants—her friend in the corner with her phone up.

It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to recognize that he’s completely unconscious.

The girls don’t even have time to react; Tony blasts them both in the chest—a non-lethal reactor shot that knocks the first girl off of Peter and the second girl into the poster-plastered wall. He fires at them again, this time a series of magnetic metal circles that clasp around their white wrists and snap them together. Now sure that the girls are out of commission, Tony scoops up Peter from the bed, and he flies straight up through the hole in the roof.

As soon as he’s in the air, he asks FRIDAY, “Nearest enhanced-friendly hospital?”

“St. Barnabas—ten blocks.”

The route alights in his helmet, radar glowing the streets a bright red, and he follows the path as fast as possible without causing Peter any further harm. Peter is pale and limp in his arms, but FRIDAY alerts him to the kid’s vitals—still breathing, still beating, just way too slow.

As soon as they arrive at the hospital, Tony stumbles out of the suit in his pajamas, still carrying the unconscious kid, and he screams for help like he never has.

Emergency room personnel sweep him away on a gurney, and he says at least three times, “He’s enhanced, he’s enhanced,” until finally a nurse pulls him away and directs him to a steady stack of paperwork.

“Pepper and May Parker have been informed of your new location,” FRIDAY announces, rooted remotely inside his chestpiece. “They should be here shortly.”

“Call the police,” he says, “and send them to where we were. Send a drone to that location, and make sure those girls are behind bars. And that phone, too. Send the footage to the police as soon as they arrive and wipe it from the girl’s phone. I’m staying here.”

“On it, boss.”

SATURDAY, MAY 27 — 11:31 PM

Riri arrives at Stark’s lab late on Saturday with her hood drawn low over her head. The man lets her in quickly, locking the door and putting down its heavy steel plating.

His hair is graying (more salt than pepper) and he’s got on a stained MIT sweatshirt and a pair of flannel pants. His hands are trembling—like he’s got the shakes, like from withdrawal—and his eyes are twitching more than they’re blinking. What the hell is wrong with him? “Got more food,” says Riri. “Supplies. Those chemicals you asked for, too, but they were kinda hard to find.”

“Your—your—” starts Stark, and when she turns to look at him, he’s staring at her blatantly, without any shame.

Her bruising from Charlie’s beating last week is still there; her brown face is colored by yellows and greens and blacks. The swelling has gone down, but she still looks like someone who’s been beaten. Her hands are still darkened by bruises: her palms from defending herself from his fists, her wrists from Charlie grabbing them.

She scowls at Stark and drops his box on the counter. He ducks his head then, mumbling to himself and plunging his hands into the box. Riri finds herself thinking of Scott Lang—in the way he talks to himself, the way he avoids eye contact—and remembers that, like Lang, Tony Stark barely gets any human contact.

“Brought you more protein this time,” she says. “Tuna. Corned beef. Pork.” She takes the cans out. “A couple expired, but not by long, so you should be fine. You have a list for me?”

When she looks to Stark for an answer, the guy is staring again, examining her face as a scientist would a cavity slide. He’s frowning so hard that his nostrils flare. “What?” she snaps, whipping around, and he jumps at her outburst, skittering off into another room.

As he comes back, he trips in a doorway, catches himself, and finally brings her a pile of Post-It notes—maybe ten or twenty. “I’m trying something—something—new,” Stark says, dragging his knuckles over his forehead. Charlie always does that when he has a headache. “But I’ve got a new, uh—new prototype. Dum-E? Queens Project Mark 14, now.”

The little robot brings over a weapon—much bigger than the others and with more weight around its barrel—and drops it in her arms. “Is it any good? It’s kinda…”

“Better than the others,” he assures her.

Stark is still staring at her like she’s lost her head. She tilts her head so that the hood drapes over the visible side of her face, but he won’t stop looking. “Worse than it looks,” she says, and she digs through the box of canned food. “How do you feel about beets?”

“Who hit you?” he asks; he has a lilted cadence to his voice now, like he’s too tired to remember exactly how to talk.

She ignores him. “I brought some more veggies, too. Peas. Spinach. Even some lima beans, if you like those.”

He ducks again, instructing his little robot to empty the box of its scientific supplies and sort the items throughout the laboratory. As the robot obeys, Stark picks up a couple of cans—one of beef ravioli and another of sliced beets. Seemingly, the man takes the hint: Riri doesn’t want talk about her f*cked up face.

But instead of taking the food, he starts putting it back in the box with his shaky hands. “Give it to Peter,” he says, frowning. “He needs it.”

“Parker gets enough—”

“He needs more,” interrupts the man. “He’s not like other kids. He’s… He’s…”

“Spider-Man, yeah, I know.”

Cans in hand, the man stops mid-transfer and blinks at her. Did he forget that she knew? “Yeah.” His eye is really twitching, spasming with a vengeance. “He needs… Here.” He pushes the box to her. “Give him mine.”

There’s a lot that Riri wants to tell Tony Stark. She wants to say, We’re keeping the doctor, so Peter will be safe. She wants to say, Don’t worry, we won’t kill him. We need him just like we need you. But she can’t. If Tony knows that Peter is safe, then he won’t make the weapon. And if he doesn’t make the weapon, they can’t save the world.

“Keep your food,” she snaps. “Parker gets what he gets.”

All three of them are awake when Peter wakes up: Tony, Pepper, and May.

Peter’s fine. He had a mixture of alcohol, ketamine, and a sh*t-ton of Rohypnol in his system, all of which was enough to take out someone for a night, or to kill someone as small as his friend MJ. For Peter Parker, it only knocked him out for a couple hours. Whoever spiked MJ’s drink probably didn’t expect someone to chug it like they would water—because for Peter, alcohol was generally the same due to his high metabolism. So the drink hit Peter hard—and fast—and knocked him out before he could finish a phone call that he didn’t even remember starting.

The doctor warns them that the kid might not remember much of the night, or the day before, or the day after. He might be fuzzy for a while until all of it’s out of his system. And he’s groggier than he ever was on the phone when he wakes up.

May is stationed on his right side, Tony and Pepper on his left.

May was on a night shift when she got the alert, so she’s still in her scrubs. Hers are a violet-purple, and there’s a coffee stain on her front. Her hair is tied back in a french braid, and she wears glasses and a lilac long-sleeve beneath her scrubs. Like she’s done since she arrived, she’s holding Peter’s hand, rubbing it as though to keep it warm. When his eyes blink open, it’s slow, and she whispers to him, brushing his hair out of his eyes with her fingers.

He’s still groggy, though, slow-blinking, his head heavy on his pillow.

She talks to him, explaining and explaining, but the kid doesn’t seem to remember much. Once he’s a little more lucid, squinting with clarity at his face and May’s, then May motions for Tony to come over. “He was there the whole time,” says the kid’s aunt, although that’s not entirely true. “He’s gonna tell you what happened, okay?”

Peter nods sleepily; his brown hair sticks to his forehead in dark clumps. He’s got some more color in his cheeks, at least, and his blood pressure—from what Tony can tell—looks normal. “How’re you feeling, Pete?” he asks, scooting a chair up by his head.

Peter sniffs. His face looks raw, like the white peek of dermis under a cut. He’s not laughing anymore. “Feel weird,” he answers. “What happened?”

Tony does his best to explain, but Peter is going in and out of consciousness the entire time, so he’s not sure what sticks. “I didn't see everything,” he continues, as Peter’s dozy eyes fall on him. “Just a little. And from what I could see she didn’t get very far. But I wasn’t there the whole time, I wasn’t there the whole night, and the doctor said your memory might be a little patchy. So they can do a” —Tony has to choke the words out— “rape kit.”

Tony doesn’t know if it’s the drugs, or the trauma, or the sleepiness, or what—but after he asks, Peter yawns, blinks a couple times, and turns onto his side. “Hate those,” he mumbles, and he goes right back to sleep.

He probably won’t remember that he said it at all.

It’s difficult to wake him after that; the doctor did tell them that Peter may need to sleep a lot, so they let him rest. May stays with him, holding his hand, and Tony sits beside her. “Thank you,” she says, without looking at him. She’s crying, but silently; she keeps wiping away her tears with her sleeve, so there’s a dark spot on her forearm. “Thank you.”

When May leaves for a cup of coffee, Tony takes her place—holding Peter’s hand, brushing his hair back, pulling the blankets up to his shoulders, responding to his confused, sleepy mumbles…

And he feels at home.

Notes:

i was driving today and saw a bunch of graffiti on the side of the highway—one of which said PCP in massive letters. kinda reminded me that this sh*t is actually a real drug, that actual people take, actual people die using. anyway don’t do drug kids, and be safe if u do. this isn’t exactly an anti-drug fic ig it’s more about how drugs change people into someone else.so stay safe.

also ya i know scott and his family didn’t live in new york in the movies. just forget that, mind ya business, this makes my life easier

yes the university im using here is fordham uni, no i don’t know anything about that place, sorry if u go there, and lol yes i know they don’t even have greek life there ok? just vibe with the story

also i have no idea how the ncmec works, just roll with it ig

also i’m always in need of good OC names, so if u have good names ideas or want one in there, lemme k

plz comment and kudos and everything, i love feedback, also plz lemme k if u so any typos or anything, thx and see you guys next week

Chapter 11: it's like i'm breathing smoke

Summary:

Ned feels the stone in his throat grow, feels the edge of it stretch at his throat, threatening to break free. There’s so much more he could say. We were best friends, he could tell her. We’ve been inseparable since we were twelve, he could. He could tell them about all the Lego sets they’ve built together—but that seems so stupid now. Ned would happily melt all of his Legos, tear up all of his comic books, burn all of his tee shirts, trash all of his Star Wars merch—if he could just see Peter again.

Notes:

chap title from 'mushroom cloud' by hundred waters

i finished a little early this week so you're getting it a few hours early, hope u like it!

CW: dead body stuff, references to death and violence, medical circ*mstances

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

THURSDAY, MAY 25 — 7:53 PM

May Parker has been Ned’s emergency contact on every form since he met Peter when they were twelve. His parents were always much stricter than May, so when he and Peter got into trouble, it was always May Parker who pulled them out. Not that they got into a lot of trouble in the first place. But when the occasion did strike, they knew who to call.

When they snuck out to Comic-Con, May was there. When they got stuck in a blizzard with nothing but their driver’s permits and their winter coats, May was there. Whenever he wanted to stay overnight, May let him. She was the kind of person who was always ready to give someone a place on the couch and a meal. He’s spent so much time at Peter’s apartment, so much time with May on trips to Central Park and random Thai places. Even his parents are friends with May. She’s like a second mom to him. As close to an aunt as one can get.

Now, he supposes, he’s the same thing for her.

After school most days—and sometimes all day—he stays at the hospital and does his homework in May’s hospital room. Visiting hours at the hospital go from ten in the morning to eight in the evening, and Ned usually stays until they close. He tells his parents that he joined a club—a tutoring group at school—to get them off of his back.

Today, Ned doesn’t do homework. He doesn’t even read any Star Trek to May. He just calls and calls and calls Peter’s phone, knowing what he’ll find on the other end: Hey, this is Peter. I’m probably busy, so just text me or leave a message or whatever. Catch you later! He doesn’t even try calling Tony Stark, not since the billionaire warned him not to. Mr. Stark hasn’t called him back since that first time. Ned hasn’t called back, and he hasn’t told a soul. Peter’s disappearance is something that might have to die with him.

He’s mid-dial when the nurse comes into May’s hospital room. She has a new nurse now: Nurse Rae, a tall woman with both eyebrows pierced and a mess of shaggy green hair. “You’re still here,” the nurse says, surprised.

“Yep,” says Ned, without much feeling. He stays where he is, seated beside May at the windowed wall.

“You know, visiting hours end in like” —the green-haired nurse checks her digital watch— “seven minutes. And you’ve been here all day.”

“Yep,” he repeats.

After the nurse finishes her work—exchanging the liquid bag in May’s IV, checking her vitals, and checking her brain activity—she sits beside Ned in the second visitor’s chair, hands on her knees. “Ned,” she says. “Listen. “I know I’m probably not supposed to tell you this because you’re not technically family of the Jane Doe, but she doesn’t really have any family. You might be the closest thing she has to family right now.” She rubs her hands together, and he notices that she’s got an engagement ring on her finger. “Jane Doe’s been showing early signs of waking from her coma. Brain activity, reflexes, stuff like that. It’s not much, but it’s something—her doctor’s concluded she’s got about a fifty percent chance of waking up.”

Ned pinches at his fingertips. Fifty percent? So, odds are that she’s gonna be like this forever. “I don’t even know her,” he lies.

“Sure,” agrees the nurse, “but you do care, don’t you? Otherwise, you wouldn’t be here.”

Ned gives a half-hearted shrug. His backpack’s on the floor; Ned’s got homework to do, lots of it, but he could care less about calculus and literary devices. “I have a friend like her,” he tries to explain, but he doesn’t even know what he means. “He…”

Rae nods; she doesn’t interrupt.

“My friend…” He shrugs again. “He’s dead,” he lies, but it sounds so true. “Car accident.”

“Like the Jane Doe,” observes the nurse. “Is that why you stay?”

He shrugs. “I guess.” He doesn’t care because… because… “Today’s his birthday.”

“Your friend?”

“Yeah.”

“What was his name?”

Ned feels the stone in his throat grow, feels the edge of it stretch at his throat, threatening to break free. “Peter.” There’s so much more he could say. We were best friends, he could tell her. We’ve been inseparable since we were twelve, he could. He could tell them about all the Lego sets they’ve built together—but that seems so stupid now. Ned would happily melt all of his Legos, tear up all of his comic books, burn all of his tee shirts, trash all of his Star Wars merch—if he could just see Peter again. He could say, We ate lunch together every day. He could tell her about how much he ate as Spider-Man, or about how much he loved Thai food.

He could tell her all of this. But he doesn’t.

The nurse just nods, staring out into the distance. “I’m sorry about Peter.”

Hot tears slip out, making their way down his face despite his efforts to stop them. Furiously, he rubs them away with his sleeves. “Me, too.”

Happy Birthday to Peter. If he’s even alive to see it.

WEDNESDAY, JUNE 6 — 4:43 PM

They’ve had another overdose.

It’s a guy Riri doesn’t even know that well: Lyle, a skinny little meth-head who’d only just starting take PCP like Charlie. He was dead before they even thought to get the doctor.

Charlie calls that Ross guy almost immediately. “What do I do?” Charlie snaps. He’s already low, and because Lyle took the rest of his stash, he’s not happy. “Man’s gonna stink up the place.”

Ross gives them specific instructions: mess up the face, take the body out to the city, drop it in Mott Haven or Hunts Point or somewhere else where the crime rate’s so high that the police won’t think twice about it.

So they do.

Riri’s not part of the drop-off crew; Charlie sends Mason, Jon, and Glenn to do it. They wrap the body up in plastic and dump it in the back of Nick’s truck.

Riri liked Lyle. He was always sweet, giving the kids vitamins and toothpaste when they needed it. He was going on and off again with Megan, the girl who Charlie tried to strangle a couple weeks ago. She’s been self-medicating so many opiates and benzos since that incident that she barely responded when she found out.

But Lyle’s not even the worst part. The main problem is, after kind Lyle kicked it, his girlfriend Megan and Lyle’s closest friend, Mateo, got so wasted—with decades-old booze they found in the lower levels of the bunker, and on little blue benzodiazepine pills taken three at a time—that they took off with the other car—an old Honda that originally belonged to Charlie. The pair have yet to come back, but in the state that they left… Odds are, they’ll end up crashed into a tree or another car on their way off the mountains. With those two gone, they’ll only have a few people left. They’ve had too many deaths. RJ, the first overdose. The second, a girl she barely knew. Third, some guy Charlie found messing with his wife—Charlie took a couple doses and beat the guy to death with his bare hands.

There’ve been a couple others, but Riri can’t keep track of everyone—overdoses, other people Charlie beat to death while on dust... They started with a group of twenty, including Charlie and herself, and now they’re down to ten. Charlie’s crew was barely functional to start with… And now they’re down to a group so small that they'd be risking their lives daily trying to keep the kid under lock and key.

So Charlie gets Ross on the phone again, as the rest of them wait for their friends’ return. “We need more people,” he says. “I don’t care how you find them, or whatever, but we need more.”

By the end of the day, the news comes in on the local news channel: A young man and a young woman drove their vehicle through a White Mountain campground tonight, killing a young family of five from Concord who were camping there for the week. Both were killed in the incident, bringing the total death count up to seven tonight. Toxicology reports already suggest that both the passenger and the driver were both under the influence. One has already been identified as Megan Kinney, a nineteen-year-old college student who was reported missing back in April by her family. Concord mourns the loss of the Wright family: parents Heather Wright and Jack Wright, and including six-year-old Leo and eight-year-old…

They’re down to ten now. If they want to keep this project under control—this project, this plan to save the world—then they need more people.

FRIDAY, JUNE 8 — 9:15 AM

The morgue reeks of sh*t. Literally.

When she wrinkles her nose, the medical examiner gives her and Agent Woo a close-lipped smile. “That’d be the cadaverine,” he says. “Also, putrescine. Skatole. All chemicals the body releases after death. Formaldehyde doesn’t cover up all the smells, you know.”

On her other side, Agent Jimmy Woo is trying his best to breathe through his nose.

The medical examiner, a dark-haired man named Dr. Alistor, opens the door and leads them into another room, one with walls of cold lockers and a row of six or seven embalming tables. On the last table is what they’re here for: the body of a male PCP addict who was found last night in Mott Haven in the Bronx. “Alright, here we go—we’ve got a white male, twenty-six years old, positively identified as Lyle Getz. He was born in Durham, North Carolina, wanted for connections to several drug-related crimes, and had been in six different rehab facilities by the age of twenty.”

“Looks way older than twenty,” she says.

“Yep, meth’ll do that to you. Turns a regular guy into, well…” He gestures vaguely at the corpse. “That.”

The guy couldn’t weigh more than a hundred pounds. He’s unhealthily skinny, and his skin is covered in marks, like the ones kids get from scratching bug bites. Officer Paz hooks her thumbs on her belt and leans in close to the body. It smells about as pleasant as it looks. She knows ‘Lyle Getz’ as one of Charlie’s old addict buddies, someone he’d mentioned on the phone a couple times, but Lyle had ultimately disappeared along with the others back in April. “Can I see your report?”

Dr. Alistor hands her the report—a stack of three or four pages, all titled with Lyle’s full name.. She reads it quickly, skimming for the important parts: cause and manner of death.

CAUSE OF DEATH: Lethal overdose due to combined high levels of phencyclidine, methamphetamine, and alcohol

MANNER OF DEATH: Accidental

“No violent wounds,” adds the medical examiner, with a glint of his green eyes, “although we did find splashes of someone else’s blood on his clothes—DNA analysis of that blood is already going through the forensics.”

Could be Charlie’s. God, she’s been diving so deep into Cassie Paxton-Lang’s case that she’s been slacking on her most important case: finding her brother Charlie.

Dr. Alistor continues, “Severe dental loss. Sores on face and body…” As he speaks, Julia spots a stretch of black-blue ink curling around Lyle’s calf. A tattoo. “Have you seen this?”

Alistor glances down at the leg. “Seen what?”

She prods the cadaver’s pasty skin. Even his leg hair is sparse, much like the stringy hair on his head. This kind of deterioration only comes from years upon years of drug abuse. Lifting the calf and peeking beneath, she spots a shape—something dark and symmetrical. “What is it?”

“Pretty sure it’s a tattoo, Officer,” deadpans the medical examiner.

Julia wants to glare at the man, but she needs his assistance so she smiles gently. “Okay, but the symbol —have you seen something like this before?” She can’t quite get a good look. Are those…snakes? Arms?

“Unfortunately,” he says dryly, “it’s not my job to uncover the meaning of random artistic symbols.”

“Then, can we turn him over?”

The medical examiner is not amused. However, with the help of a mortician’s assistant and Agent Woo, they get the body flipped over.

The tattoo is in dark blue ink—it looks recent. It pictures a centered skull with octopus arms coming out of it, but it’s nothing too complex. “If you had to guess, how recently do you think this tattoo was given?”

The man purses his lips. His green eyes are mildly annoyed, it seems, by the question. “Eh, a month? Maybe less. Seems fresh.”

Officer Paz continues, “Were there any other marks that you could find? Scars? Wounds?”

“If I did,” says the man, as cold as ever. “It’d be in the report.”

Julia Paz ignores the man and ties her hair back in a ponytail for a closer look. There are only six tentacles in the design; each is lined with trapezoidal suckers and ends in a near-circular curl. “Jimmy,” she says, addressing her partner, “have you ever seen anything like this? This…octopus symbol? It seems familiar…” He doesn’t answer at first. hearing him move behind her, she turns to look at him. He's craning to look at the symbol, his mouth slightly open. “Woo?”

“Yeah,” he blurts suddenly. “Yes, Julia—I think I have.” yet the man doesn’t elaborate; he simply stares open-mouthed at the corpse’s tattoo. “You know I used to work with SHIELD…”

“Yeah?”

“Well that symbol… That’s not an octopus. It’s supposed to represent a hydra—from Greek mythology?” Agent Woo points in turn at the tentacles. “It’s a water monster killed by Hercules; it was nearly impossible to kill because if you cut off one head” —he gestures to the skull-like head on the tattoo— “two more grow back.”

“Officers?” announces the medical examiner, from the other side of the body. “As much as I’d like to solve the mystery of the tattoo, my name isn’t Nancy Drew—I have other clients, other corpses—so if you’re done with the body, you can talk to the front desk about getting a more detailed report.”

Before they go, she gives the medical examiner a digitized list of the people she’s looking for; it’s mostly a list that Ty gave her back in April. It’s vague, and there’s not much there, but hopefully it’s enough to keep this case open. She has to find Charlie.

They get a call from the police department in New Hampshire: two of the addicts on Julia Paz’s list were found dead, having killed three people when their car drove through a campsite on the White Mountains. They take the next day to drive up and observe the bodies, they find something similar: tattoos of the hydra-octopus creature again—one on the female addict’s ankle and one on the male addict’s shoulder. The tattoos are freely drawn—by no means professional—but they’re definitely identical.“It’s not just about the creature,” explains Jimmy Woo as they observe Megan Kinney’s corpse and the matching tattoo on her ankle. “This symbol is from an organization: one that threatened SHIELD in 2014, but has been a global threat ever since. I wasn’t a part of SHIELD when it happened, but every SHIELD officer knows about them.”

Officer Paz frowns. “Knows about who?”

“HYDRA,” says Jimmy with a grimace. “A group deadset on world domination and a new world order.”

WEDNESDAY, JUNE 6 — 7:50 PM

Dr. Leonard Skivorski lives in the operating room now.

In one corner, he keeps a pile of food they’ve provided him—vacuum-sealed packs of powdered potatoes, cans of corn, packages of raw oats, freeze-dried sausage—that mostly come from storage closets around the facility.

He spends most of his time cataloging the medical supplies, devising plans to escape, and scribbling letters on medical notepads—to his son, to his ex-wife, to his coworkers, to his friends. Even to his father, who he hasn’t spoken to in years.

There’s a bathroom down the hall; when he has to go, he alerts the guard by his door and is personally escorted.

No shower, though. Instead, he washes himself in the pre-operative sinks with the same soap he used to use before surgery: chlorhexidine gluconate, a liquid antiseptic. He’s starting to understand why Peter and that little girl were in such horrific shape when he first met them. He’s never been in the cell, but Peter has described it to him: barely bigger than a closet, just enough to fit a bed, toilet, and sink.

Every day, the doctor waits for them to drag Peter to his operating room; every day, he fixes Peter up as best he can before sending him back to confinement.

Today, Peter arrives shortly after eight o’clock, carried between two large men, bloodied and shaking like a leaf. They drop him inside the operating room doors and relock them with him inside.

Peter doesn’t get up right away; he stays where he is: palms on the concrete, belly down, cheek touching ground. His prisoner’s uniform is darkened by sweat, his hair plastered to his forehead. The doctor tries, “Peter?” and the kid flinches—a full-bodied jerk—curling his arms over his head. “Okay,” Dr. Skivorski says now, his voice dropped to a whisper. “It’s okay. Just me, hon.”

The boy doesn’t say anything. He’s still on the ground, shaking, taking in heaping gulps of air. In the past few weeks, it’s always like this. He just needs some time, some time to figure out that he’s not in that room anymore. Dr. Skivorski knows better than to approach the kid when he’s like this. Instead, he stays by the operating table, placing a fresh set of linens onto it in preparation for the kid.

Quietly, the doctor asks, “They get your head today?”

The kid takes a second, breathing hard. “No,” he says finally. He’s breathing, but each breath catches about halfway up before he exhales, like a rusty door hinge.

“Can I come to you?”

Peter just gasps on the floor, fast and shaky, and he’s breathing so hard and so erratically that he starts gagging, rolling onto his side to cough out clear liquid. “W-wait…” he coughs, with a sense of fear that curdles the doctor’s stomach. “Wait…”

It takes a few minutes for the kid to calm down; by the time the doctor finally gets Peter onto the table, he’s still shaking and won’t look him in the eye, choosing instead to stare wide-eyed at the door. “They’re not coming back,” he assures the boy.

“They always come back,” Peter says with an odd shake of his head.

The kid refuses to lie down and breathes in sharply every time the doctor moves to touch him, so he has to go slowly, much slower than he’s used to treating his pediatric patients, even the little ones. Peter’s still quiet, coughing a couple times a minute; the doctor wants to check his chest, but the kid won’t let him get close enough with the stethoscope. “Can you—can you tell me what they did to you, hon?”

Peter’s still staring at the door, inhaling deeply through his nose. “I didn’t, um.” He blinks and shakes his head again. “Didn’t… didn’t know… what it even was. I know—I know… Mr. Stark used to—used to say—” The doctor shifts, and the kid flinches and wraps his arms around himself. His breathing is coming out in little hums, his croaky voice scraping in his throat. “I didn’t…know…” He’s shaking his head again. “He said they… in Afghanistan…”

There’s no marks on the kid—at least, no new marks since yesterday. What the hell did they do to him to make him so damn scared?

“He’s afraid of, um” —the kid looks like he’s gonna be sick— “water… P-pools, rain, anything… But I didn’t know… Di-didn’t know… Never looked… Never looked it up. I thought… I thought… I thought it had something with drowning, but I…” The kid’s trembling. That’s when something clicks for the doctor—it’s not sweat plastering his hair to his forehead and soaking the torso of his prisoner’s jumpsuit. It’s water. “I didn’t know, man… I didn’t know that they…” He mimes something vague, waving around his face, before hugging himself again.

This time, Charlie waterboarded the kid.

Peter’s shaking his head, shaking his head, shaking his head. “The chair…” This must be why his voice is so hoarse, why he keeps coughing and gagging. “It… It goes back… They laid it back, and tied me down, and the… The…” He starts gagging again, hand over his mouth, and the doctor sees it. His wrists are torn up, bleeding slightly, the skin there so worn from his restraints that the doctor can see raw muscle. He fought so hard against his cuffs that he’s bleeding.

“Okay,” says the doctor, as quiet and calming as he can. “Okay, hon, you’re okay… I’ve got you now…” Shining in the harsh operating light, Peter’s face is wet, but whether it’s from tears or water, the doctor doesn’t know. “Lemme get a good look at you, okay?”

The kid nods like a kid to a teacher, but he doesn’t move from where he is, white-knuckling the operating table, sitting stiffly in front of the doctor. When the doctor draws the stethoscope close with one hand, the kid flinches, his shoulders popping up by his ears.

He might have to wait a little longer to be able to treat the kid today.

WEDNESDAY, JUNE 20 — 10:32 AM

Pepper wants nothing more than a bowl of lemon jello.

Lemon anything, really. Lemon tarts. Lemonade, lemon slushiest. Lemon bars, lemon meringue. It doesn’t even have to be sweet—if she had one right now, she’d squeeze a lemon into an empty glass and drink it straight.

She knew that pregnant cravings were real, but not that they’d be so damn distracting. By the time her meeting’s over, Pepper dashes to the staff lounge and unearths—perfect!—a packaged lemon scone she stashed there the day before.

Each bite is like heaven. She finds herself eating two, three—and then the entire scone—and brushing off the crumbs when finally someone knocks on the lounge door. It’s one of the board members, an elderly man who has long has a stake in the company, and he clears his throat. “Ms. Potts,” he says. “Are we sure about this decision?”

She knows the decision he means. In the absence of Tony (for over two months now), she is taking the legal step of removing him from company decision-making. Temporarily, of course. By invoking a medical clause in company contracts, she can make sure that every one of his responsibilities is transferred to other high-ranking members of the company. It’s a matter of keeping everything in line. “Yes. Absolutely.”

The man winces. “Okay, Ms. Potts, but—”

“But what—”

The man falters under her stare. “Nevermind.”

She sighs; she straightens, and she becomes CEO of Stark Industries Pepper Potts. “If Mr. Stark,” she replies curtly, “wishes to be part of Stark Industries again, he will have every opportunity to do so. But until then… We must move on. Decisions must be made. Actions must be taken. We don’t need to wait for an okay from Stark when he refuses to even leave the laboratory or contact any members of his company. It’s a matter of” —keeping that asshole out of her life— “efficiency. If we don’t keep going, the company will deteriorate.”

The man nods so much he looks like a bobblehead. “Yes, of course,” he replies, and the man excuses himself before disappearing into the hallway.

No one else comes to bother her. She doesn’t have any more meetings until noon, so she heads back to the main building. in the fridge, thank god, are individual cups of lemon jello. She takes a couple cups and sits at the kitchen counter with some paperwork.

It’s not long before Happy is there to join her. “Happy,” she says, as though annoyed, although Pepper’s sure her voice betrays some relief. “I thought I mentioned that the main house wasn’t for work.”

“This isn’t a work call, Pepper,” he says. “This is about Peter.”

“Hm,” says Pepper.

“Parker,” he clarifies.

Pepper wants to slap him. “Yes, I know.” Hopefully, her face doesn’t betray her subsequent rush of embarrassment. How could she have forgotten about Peter? She’s been spending so much time worrying about prenatal medications and ultrasounds and Babies-R-Us that she completely forgot that the kid was currently unresponsive. That kid spent so many hours at their place upstate that Tony bought an air mattress in case he wanted to sleep there—not that he ever told Peter that. “How is he? Having fun in Alaska?”

“Not…exactly. I still haven’t been able to locate him.”

“Still?” She thought internships, especially ones as far as Alaska, tried not to pull anyone out of school for too long. “Have you been able to track his phone? Tony did that once, by pinging the IMEI, you could—”

Happy shakes his head. “Believe me, I’ve tried everything. His phone’s completely off the grid. So either he’s somewhere without any cell towers—”

“Well, that’s Alaska, isn’t it?”

“—or something happened to his phone.”

“Okay,” starts Pepper, “so what do you need from me? We should probably locate the kid soon—isn’t school ending?”

Happy nods. “Tomorrow, actually. It’s their last day.” Oh. “Remember, you mentioned you could contact his friends for me? Or give me their contact information, at least? I figure, with tomorrow being their last day, it’s now or never to see if they have some way to contact the kid.”

That conversation feels like forever ago. Like a dream. “Oh. Oh—sure. Sure. Absolutely. One second.” She looks around herself for her phone, but she can’t find it. With a grimace, Happy taps the counter on her right side. Her phone’s on the counter beside her. “Right. Thanks.” She taps it open, clicks on ‘Contacts,’ and finds Peter’s friends: MJ and Ned. The kids are still labeled Tony’s way: MJ is ‘That Girl From Hamilton’ and Ned is ‘Fred Weeds.’ Pepper knows good and well that Tony knows those kids’ names. The thought of him pretending to forget again makes a smile ghost her face.

“Pepper?”

She blinks.

Happy clears his throat. “So, can you send them to me?”

“Oh—sorry, sure.” She texts Happy the contact information before the man can ask again.

Before he leaves, however, he raps at the counter with his knuckles. “One more thing, Pepper.” It’s the way he says it that makes it near-obvious what he knows. “Are you going to tell Tony?”

“Tell Tony what?”

“About…” Happy scratches the back of his neck. “You know…” His eyes slide to the windowsill, and Pepper follows his gaze. On the counter behind the sink is a bottle of prenatal vitamins—a store-brand bottle of thick yellow pills. “Have you told him already?”

Something inside of Pepper hardens like quick-drying concrete. Sure, it must be obvious now. At four months, she is showing a little, but she thought she was doing a good job hiding it with loose blouses and well-placed jackets. “As long as he’s staying in that lab,” says Pepper coldly, “he doesn’t get to know a thing.”

Happy grimaces again. He doesn’t say anything in response; he simply asks her if she needs anything else before leaving. She picks up her paperwork again: it’s nothing too complicated, just papers to re-purchase Stark Tower. It’s currently owned by Amazon, but they only sold it a couple years ago. In this paperwork is a clause to re-purchase the property; after she finds it, she plans to move everything back to the Tower.She’s sure Peter won’t mind the move. Happy and the other board members won’t mind, either.

Pepper’s just…tired of being here. She’s tired of waiting for Tony to come out of the laboratory. She’s tired of waiting for FRIDAY to come back to life and talk to her over the PA system. She’s tired of being reminded of what happened every time she wakes up and every time she walks out of the house. She’s tired of him having this hold over her.

If Tony wants to stay in the lab, he can stay.

But she’s going to move.

THURSDAY, JUNE 21 — 12:12 PM

Before he even thinks about disturbing Peter’s friends, Happy goes to Tony.

He gets to the laboratory doors, still encased in sheets of steel, and he knocks lightly. “Hey, Tony,” he says, before anything else. He’s come here before, begged him to come out or yelled at him to complete some work and cursed at him for what he did to Pepper—all to nothing but faceless steel. “I know you’re going through…a thing, but I thought you oughta know… Pepper needs you, man. She really needs you. I don’t know if she even gets how much she needs you.” He rubs at his face—he hasn’t shaven in a while, so his beard is getting a little long. “She’s like you, Tony. She won’t ask for help. She won’t give in. She’ll just bury and bury until it kills her.”

Silence from the lab.

“She’s not invincible, Tony. She doesn’t want to do this without you, but she will. She…” He looks around. In front of this door—he remembers the meals that Pepper put in front of the door, the decaf coffees. He can still spot splashes or coffee staining the steel, now sticky and blackened from time. She must’ve thrown it at the place. “She’s pregnant.”

He wonders if Tony already knows. He could be—that lab is the home base for FRIDAY, so if he rebooted the AI correctly, he could have access to every part of the Stark Industries campus from inside that place. He’s seen Tony do crazier. “She decided to keep it—we don’t know if it’s a boy or a girl yet. they’ve done all the tests they can do so far—the baby’s healthy. It’s all we could ask for, right?”

Happy straightens his tie, and he faces the lab doors head-on. “Tony, look. I get it. We all have our moments. You want to…escape. But now's not the time. She needs you. We all need you.”

If telling him about Pepper didn’t make him come out of that place, then what would?

It’s surprisingly easy for Happy Hogan to gain entrance to Peter’s school.

The Midtown School of Science and Technology, while having award-winning laboratories and nationally ranked decathlon teams, does not have excellent security. Perhaps it’s because Happy is the head of security at Stark Industries, or because he’d been there before, or because it was the last day of school, but Happy managed to get inside just by claiming he wanted to talk to students about prospective internships.

He’s contacted both Edward Leeds and Michelle Jones-Watson, but gotten no responses from either, so he asks the principal to page them both. The vice principal is on maternity leave, so he remains in her office and waits for the kids to show up.

When the girl first shows, she’s dressed in black and white—a white tee displaying a sketch graphic of Joan of Arc, near-black corduroys, and a matching blazer with the sleeves rolled up to her elbows. She doesn’t close the door behind her, and she doesn’t sit down. Michelle’s hair is messy and curly, side bangs drifting down her left cheek. Hands in her pockets, glare prominent, she says, “I know I didn’t apply for any internships at Stark Industries, so who the hell are you?”

Happy clears his throat. “Um, Ms. Jones-Watson, it’s nice to meet you—”

“Did something happen? Is my family okay?”

He can barely get a word out. “No, nothing—look, everything’s fine. Your family’s fine, everyone’s good.”

“So you just break in to high schools for fun?”

He blinks. This girl’s got audacity. He’s seen her a couple times from afar when he picked up Peter from school, but never had a conversation with the girl. “No, I’m not—no one’s breaking in. I just need to talk to you. I’m Peter’s, uh” —What is he supposed to say? Caretaker? Occasional chauffeur? Babysitter? Bodyguard?— “supervisor at Stark Industries.”

Michelle folds her arms. After a pause, she demands, “Lemme see your ID.” Happy doesn’t hesitate; he needs the girl to trust him. He hands over his ID card, where it reads plainly: HAPPY HOGAN, HEAD OF SECURITY. “Hm,” says the girl, as she hands it back. “I thought Peter worked directly under Tony Stark.”

“He does, he does—just, I also help…with other stuff—look, it’s not important. This is about Peter.” MJ kicks back at the door, and it slowly squeaks closed. “We’ve been trying to get in contact with him about” —Where the hell has he been? If he’s okay?— “future opportunities for his internship, but his current phone number goes unresponsive.”

“I know,” she says stiltedly. Her arms are still folded, and a small wrinkle forms between her eyebrows.

“Well, you are one of his emergency contacts, so—”

“So you think something happened to him?”

“No, no, no,” Happy says, a little too quickly. “Just following protocol. If we can’t get ahold of one of our interns, we get in touch with their emergency contacts.”

Her hands drop a little. “I’m his emergency contact?” she says, and she shakes off her softening face to glare at him further. “Who else?”

“Well, his guardian, May Parker, but she went with him, so I’ve been trying to get ahold of your friend, too. Edward Leeds?”

“Ned,” she corrects. “He skipped school today. Been doing that a lot.”

Happy never thought of Peter’s friends as the ‘skipping school’ type. Particularly Ned. “Well, do you think you could get him for me? I’d like to talk to him, too.”

She sniffs. “Sure. But I can tell you one thing for sure: he probably won’t say a word to you.”

Oh. Without a hint about a way to contact the Spider-Kid, he’s left with nothing but dead ends. “You sure?”

“Yeah, but I can tell you where to find him.”

Notes:

literally thank everyone so much for your comments! i spend way too much time checking my email for ao3 alerts during my bathroom breaks at work and it literally fills me with so much joy to see them!

hope everyone's having a good summer... peter's not lol. what do u want to see happen? lemme k in the comments. the plot has literally changed so much since i started, that if someone came up with a good idea i'd definitely scoop it up. <3

also thinking about changing my username cuz i've had the same one since i was like 14 so...any ideas? trying not to blindside yall with a random username change lol

Chapter 12: i need you (now, i know)

Summary:

He has a hate, suddenly, for the doctor’s naivety, for his hopefulness, for his aspirations to escape, and he feels the hate grip him like a clawed creature in his chest. Still trembling, he snaps, “Forget it. Even if they were all dead, I’d still be stuck here. I don't know the password and I can’t break through the vibranium and I can’t take out anyone because I’m—I’m—I’m—” Weak, he wants to say, but he can’t choke out the word. Look at me! he wants to scream. I’m nothing! I’m nothing anymore! “We’re f*cked, okay? We’re never getting out of here!”

Notes:

chap title from 'solitude (felsmann & tiley reinterpretation)' by m83

CW: obviously kidnapping and violence, mentions of torture/violence, mentions of non-consensual drug use, mentions of illness, discussion of violence, violence against a minor

depending on what mcu movie/tv shows r true, we’ve got different directors of shield, so sorry if u watch agents of shield or inhuman cuz i’m retconning all that - phil’s now director of shield

also thanks to everyone for keeping up, it's tuesday again so welcome back to peter's sh*tshow lol

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

THURSDAY, JUNE 29 —10:57 AM

Through Agent Woo’s connections with SHIELD, they’re able to get a meeting with the director of SHIELD—Director Phil Coulson—by the end of the following week. So after a quick breakfast of coffee and conference room donuts, Officer Julia Paz and Agent Jimmy Woo drive four hours out to Washington, DC, where the Triskelion, otherwise known as SHIELD Headquarters, is located.

It’s stationed on Theodore Roosevelt Island on the Potomac River, so they have to drive up a skinny bridge with three separate security checkpoints to enter the place. Luckily, Agent Woo’s security clearance makes the drive easy and entrance to the Triskelion even easier. Still, they have to sign multiple non-disclosure agreements just to step on the property.

Director Coulson’s office has a row of massive glass window-panes instead of walls, and he has a sprawling agarwood desk that’s mostly empty and a wallful of black filing cabinets behind him. Above the filing cabinets are paintings of the original six Avengers in action: first Black Widow, Hawkeye, and Captain America; then a SHIELD insignia; and finally Iron Man, Thor, and the Hulk.

As soon as they arrive, flanked by security guards, Phil Coulson gives her a warm handshake and Agent Woo a firm hug. “Good to see you, Jimmy,” he says. “What can I do for you?”

Julia Paz has prepared for this moment. She’s printed all of the photos, collected all of the post-mortem reports, and searched all the available files. “We were wondering what you could tell us about HYDRA,” says Julia.

Before Director Coulson can ask, Woo assures the man, “She signed all the NDAs already.”

Phil turns to her with a thin-lipped smile. “You have to understand, we typically reserve information about HYDRA for members of SHIELD—and otherwise, on a need-to-know basis. So, if you don’t mind… Why do you need to know?”

Julia has seen videos and photos of Phil Coulson on TV, usually addressing the American public in some way or another. He's a tallish, baldish, niceish looking man who doesn’t stand out in any particular way. “Director Coulson…” She refrains from telling the man that this “Charlie Keene” is her brother. She doesn’t want the man to think she’s not a legitimate cop on a legitimate case. She explains the basics: a group of addicts who went missing in April have been found with tattoos of the HYDRA symbol on their bodies. Freshly—the tattoos were all done after they disappeared in April. “There’s seventeen of them, and we’ve already found three of them dead. All with a HYDRA tattoo.

“Homicides?” asks Coulson.

“Overdoses,” she says, although that’s not technically true for the two most recent dead.

“Where were the bodies found?”

“One in the Bronx, two in New Hampshire.” Julia pulls their post-mortem examinations out of her file: Lyle Getz, Mateo Garza, and Megan Kinney. Coulson takes the pages as Julia continues, “All of the addicts are clients of drug dealer Charlie Keene.” She hands him a list—the same list she gave to the medical examiner last week. “This should be all of them.”

Phil Coulson frowns at the paper, flipping it over and back again, scanning the whole page. “There’s only a few last names on here. Some of these don’t even have last names.”

“Why would a dealer know his customer’s last name?” shoots Julia. “This is all of the information we could collect on the missing addicts. Listen—their names aren’t important. What’s most important is this.” From her tablet, she opens a voice memo app and clicks open a voice memo from back in April—one from a conversation she had when Ty first came to her about the fact that Charlie, his dealer, had disappeared with most of his customers. She replays the conversation for Coulson… Ty’s recorded voice talks and talks, and finally he says, “They was gonna change the world, make it a better place… Last time I saw them, their place was some abandoned, creepy-ass dungeon or some sh*t, f*ckin’ snakes on the walls…” Julia pauses the recording with a swift tap. ““Snakes. Did you catch that? Snakes.” She points again to the photos of the tattoo. “When I first saw it, I thought they were snakes coming out of a skull. If the symbol Ty described is the same, that means that the group who disappeared was living in a place that had HYDRA symbols on it. HYDRA, director.

Phil Coulson shakes his head. “So this guy, he’s saying that his missing friends—your missing addicts holed up in a…what? HYDRA base?”

She nods. “So we were wondering if you could grant us access to those bases. Jimmy said we’d taken over all HYDRA outposts and bunkers—do you think you could give us a map? Or at least a list of possible locations?”

Phil Coulson slides the papers back over to her. “Officer Paz,” he says, addressing her. “Agent Woo. As much as I’d love to help, we don’t grant people access to HYDRA bases over a couple of missing people. Yes, it’s not uncommon for homeless to hole up in places like that—but actual HYDRA bunkers? Those are on strict lockdown since we took them over back in 2014. And unless you have some verifiable signs that HYDRA—the organization—is up and running again, I’m afraid I can’t give you access. Do you understand the kind of danger the American government would be in if we granted every police officer access to that kind of technology?” Director Coulson shakes his head.

“But HYDRA could’ve—” Julia swallows. She’s trying to keep the emotion from creeping into her voice. She swallows, swallows again, and tries to speak with a calmer tone. “It’s possible that our missing persons were taken by a reboot of HYDRA, some kind of neo-Nazi regrouping, right?”

The man hesitates. “It’s…possible. But we’d have other signs—Avengers alerting us to HYDRA activity, missing weaponry, loss of classified information… And we’ve had none of those—no verifiable signs that HYDRA is alive and going again, so…” Phil clears his throat. “Officer, the likelihood that your missing people are there… I’d say you’re looking in the wrong places.”

“But—”

“Besides, none of this matters because I don’t have jurisdiction over abandoned HYDRA bunkers. I’m not the one to talk to. I can’t give you the access you want. Every bunker has been confiscated by the U.S. government—the main branch, not SHIELD.”

Paz scoffs. “So who do I talk to about getting access to these bunkers?”

Coulson gives a polite shrug. “Not me, Officer. The last of the American HYDRA branches were wiped out in 2014. Pretty sure anything that belonged to them is now under the jurisdiction of the Department of Defense. Last I heard, they were making plans to turn those bunkers into safe houses for government higher-ups, but that was a few years ago.”

She feels as though Coulson’s playing games. Is it that hard to answer such a concrete question? “So who should we talk to?”

Coulson shrugs again. “My guess? The Secretary of Defense. Secretary Thaddeus Ross.”

TUESDAY, JULY 3 — 2:30 PM

Secretary Thaddeus Ross is not having a good day.

First Ava Starr, then that little methhead, and now that car crash on the mountain? That sh*t killed a whole family, and now is getting enough news coverage that the mountains with that bunker is crowded with people.

Ross gave them three rules for how the master plan was going to go: one, don’t tell anyone ; two, keep everything under the radar ; and three, don’t f*ck this up .

Clearly, they’ve royally screwed rules one and two because they’ve had two newsworthy incidents in the past month and seven dead bodies total. Charlie’s now running out of people to keep the spider and those other idiots in line.

He’s getting a migraine because of these morons.

Ross hates the way that man begs, but he’s right. He needs more men. He’s so close to a breakthrough—something that will turn Project Manticore into a weapon that’s feared by all. It’ll put the United States of America back on top as the most powerful, regardless of superheroes and other enhanced creatures. With this weapon, he could vanish anyone with the press of a button, could disintegrate an entire town and leave its ecosystem still intact.

Secretary Ross makes a list of a few people from his contacts—doctors, scientists, engineers—anyone who owes him enough that they’ll participate in Project Manticore. “Kate? Kate!” he snaps.

His secretary Kate Bishop comes rushing in, dressed in a sleeveless collar and bootcut khakis. “Yes, sir!”

He taps the list. “I need you to get in contact with a few people. As soon as they respond, put them through, got it?”

“Yes, sir.”

It doesn’t take long; by the end of the hour, Kate’s announcing over the phone: “I’ve got one on the other line, sir.”

“Which one?”

“Quentin Beck. I couldn’t get ahold of the others.”

“Alright, put him through.”

Over the line, Quentin Beck has a pleasantly low tenor and there’s music playing behind him—Huey Lewis and the News. “Ross!” he says first. “Good to hear from you. What can I do for you?”

Ross’ mustache itches, so he scratches at it. “I need a favor.”

“What kind?”

Quentin Beck owes him. Almost a decade ago, Ross got the man a stable job as an engineer in the Defense Department after he was fired from Stark Industries from ‘inappropriate conduct’ or something equally idiotic.

“Well, I’m working on something a little different. Off the books.”

“Off the books?” The man on the other line sounds intrigued.

“That’s right. Something good. Something that’ll truly put the U.S. on top. Think you could take some time off? I’ll promise, it’ll pay better than whatever you’ve got going now.”

“How much better?”

“Depends. How soon can you get to New Hampshire?”

THURSDAY, JULY 5 — 5:15 PM

Happy and MJ take the train to the hospital—it’s located in Brooklyn by Marine Park, so they take the train to Brownsville and a bus that drops them off at the emergency room entrance.

“I’ve followed him here like a million times,” says the girl. She’s dressed like she’s going to war—with a thick denim jacket lined in white sherpa, a set of baggy black cargo pants, a camo tee shirt, and a baseball cap that reads SAVE FERRIS in bold letters, and worn combat boots. “He skips school, skips practice, skips everything… And he just comes here.”

“Who’s here?” asks Happy. “He got a grandma in here? Parent? Anyone?”

“I don’t know,” says the girl with a bland shrug. “He just comes and visits this lady. Sits with her. I’ve seen her—forty-ish, Italian-looking, long dark hair. She’s in a coma.”

“You don’t know her?”

“Nope.” They’re at the front desk now. “I don’t think he knows her, either. I asked a doctor—the lady’s a Jane Doe.”

Jane Doe, he knows, is just a patient they haven’t identified. Why would Ned be visiting some middle-aged woman he didn’t know? “You’ve got some weird friends, Michelle,” says Happy.

Michelle scoffs—a half-laughing sound. “No,” she refutes, “Peter’s got weird friends. Me and Ned are just friendly by association. Transitive property, right?”

Happy blinks at the girl. “What?”

Michelle sighs, exasperated, like he’s the one who’s bringing up random high school math in the middle of a normal conversation. “If x is related to y by something, and y is related to z by that same thing, then x is related to z by the same thing. So If I’m cool with Peter, and Peter’s cool with Ned, then me and Ned are cool. Capiche?”

This is why Happy hates teenagers. “Sure. Whatever.”

The two of them have reached the front desk by now, where an elderly couple is arguing about insurance. Michelle Jones-Watson, however, seems to know where she’s going. They take the elevator to the third floor and down a wide stretch of white-tiled hallway and to a corner room. From the doorway, they can’t see the mystery patient—only a round, brown-skinned boy with a band-style striped tee talking to a nurse with green hair. “…looking much better,” the nurse is saying, one hand on the boy’s back. “Yesterday, she opened her eyes a few times.”

“But she didn’t say anything?” says the boy, head in his hands.

“She shouldn’t,” says the nurse. “I’d be more worried if she started talking straight out of a coma. This is the way people wake up, Ned. First their reflexes, then small movements, like the eyes or the fingers. Recovery takes time .”

That’s when, with a pat to Ned Leeds’ back, the nurse turns and spots the pair standing; the woman startles with a sharp squeak. “Oh!” she says, and Ned turns around, too.

“MJ,” says the kid with a gasp. The boy’s eyes are pink-red, like he’s been crying. “Uh—um—“

MJ looks about as stiff as her denim jacket. “I’m not here to spoil your moment,” the girl snaps.

There’s a cord of tension between them so tight Happy could’ve walked across it without a problem. The girl, Michelle, looks positively fierce, glaring at the boy in a way that seems far deeper than he’s Peter’s friend .

In an attempt to sever the tension, Happy clears his throat. “You’re Ned Leeds?”

Ned seems frozen in his spot; he nods wearily, eyes still on Michelle.

He hands the kid his business card—one that reads HAPPY HOGAN, HEAD OF SECURITY, STARK INDUSTRIES. “I’ve got a couple questions for you, if that’s okay.”

The nurse, who has yet to see the card, interjects: “Are you here for the Jane Doe?”

“Who?” The patient? Happy shakes his head; MJ is frowning so hard she’s got a wrinkle between her brow; she’s way too young for wrinkles. “I don’t care about that. I’m just here for —”

Then Happy sees her, and his own voice cracks like a tween boy’s. Ned , he was going to say, but he can’t seem to muster up any words.

Because he knows the patient in that hospital bed.

It’s May. Peter’s Aunt May. May Parker.

She looks nothing like herself. Her hair is an inch or two longer and braided close to her scalp—probably for the ease of the medical personnel. She’s extraordinarily pale, and there’s a wide tube down her throat—connected to a machine that breathes for her.

Confusion renders him mute; if MJ knew that was May Parker in the bed, then why didn’t she say anything?

But the parts start to slide into place.

MJ doesn’t know what May looks like. She’s heard her name, of course, and heard the stories, but MJ hasn’t been friends with Peter long enough to have met May. They haven’t gone on any real dates, and although MJ said they did kiss once, they’ve never been official. It's not like Peter got a whole lot of opportunity before he went MIA. So MJ could have followed Ned all the way into the hospital room, have stared at May’s unresponsive body for hours, and never have known that it was Peter’s aunt.

All this time that MJ’s been worried about Peter—she’s been holding onto the key to finding him: May Parker.

Ned’s looking around like he’s been caught hauling a dead body to a dumpster; which, Happy supposed, he kind of has. Because Ned knows exactly what May Parker looks like and hasn’t said a word to anyone.

“Ned,” says Happy, and the word is more than the boy’s name. It’s a plea, a demand, a question, and a threat. “Where’s Peter?”

THURSDAY, JULY 5 — 7:56 PM

“Peter? Can you tell me what day it is?”

The doctor’s talking, and he’s waving a penlight over Peter’s face. “Peter?”

Peter blinks. “Yeah… I’m here, doc.”

“Lost you there for a second, Pete.”

Peter gives the man a dulled smile. “Still here.” He drops the smile almost as fast as he picked it up.

“Can you tell me what day it is?”

Peter just stares at the doctor. “You think I know what day it is? Look around you, man. I haven’t seen the sun in a month…” At least, he thinks it’s been a month. He knows that the toys that come with his Happy meals change each month, so the month has changed at least once—but now they’ve started taking the toys out to punish them for trying to escape. If he got here in April, it’s at least May. It could’ve been May for what, two weeks? “I dunno.” Thinking is becoming increasingly difficult. He’s had a hard time keeping track of time since they upped his sedation. “Is it May?”

He’s remembering and remembering. The sharp pain of knife. The dull pain of a fist. The echo of electricity after the caddle prod leaves his skin. The freezing sensation of a blowtorch—when its heat is so high that it feels cold, like his flesh is breaking off in frozen pieces one atom at a time.

He remembers pain. Pain that swallows him like a tight-mouthed whale. Pain that engulfs him like a icy wave. Pain that whispers and whispers and whispers until it screams.

“It’s July,” corrects the doctor, with an expression bearing so much pity it burns in the back of Peter’s throat. “The fifth. A Thursday.”

“A Thursday,” echoes Peter, and suddenly he feels a hundred and sixteen years old. He can feel every pore of his bruised skin, every welt in his battered back, every scar on his mutilated face. “Oh.” His birthday’s in May. His birthday ’s in May.

“That’s okay,” he says. “How about… Just, look up for me please?”

Peter knows how to obey; he looks up, down, and side-to-side. He remembers the light used to hurt at the doctors office. It doesn’t hurt so much anymore. He supposes a little light is nothing compared to a blowtorch to the ear or hammer to the knee or a knife through the cheek.

“Your eyes…” He shines the light again. “They’re almost reflective—it’s hard to get a read on your pupils… Is this because of your enhancement?”

Peter blinks at the man for a second. “Wh-what?”

“You heal fast, Peter. I assumed you’d been enhanced somehow.”

“Oh.”

“So how’d it happen?”

Peter remembers that day so well. The field trip to Oscorp. Coming home. The purple-black spots in his vision, the blood-speckled vomit on his bathroom floor, the feverish heat coming over him in crashing waves, the vicelike cramp in every muscle he had. He remembers contorting on the bathroom floor, puking up every liquid in him, leaking red from every orifice: his eyes, his ears, his nose, his mouth. “Spider bite,” he says, like the process was that simple. “I was fourteen.”

“I heard the other guys call you that,” says the doctor. “Spider-Man, right? The one from New York?”

Peter nods; his head hurts. They didn’t hit his head today—he’s only got a couple cuts and a couple bruises, but he still needed some stitches.

The doctor seems to sense his despondence. “You do a lot of good things, hon. You’re one of the good ones.”

Not doing so much good anymore, he thinks. He wants to say it out loud, but he keeps quiet. Instead of patrolling and saving people, he’s stuck in this f*cking bunker as he rots away.

Dr. Skivorski passes his penlight over Peter’s eyes again. “You know, before I operated on you, I checked your eyes—they didn’t look like this before. ”

“Happens,” says Peter with a weak shrug.

“What do you mean?”

“Sometimes,” says Peter, “when my body goes through something really stressful, something where it thinks I’m gonna die or whatever… It develops something new.”

“Like how?”

He thinks back to Homecoming. “Like, I didn’t used to be able to summon stickiness to my hands. I could still stick to things, but stuff like glass, dirty surfaces… They were harder to do. But then a building fell on me and… I had to get out. So ever since then, I can get my hands to stick to anything. I can get, like” —he demonstrates, opening his hands to will the stickiness to come— “them to stick just by thinking about it.

“Wow,” says the doctor, prodding the gluish paste on his palms. “Like you adapted.”

Peter shrugs.

“Sounds to me like you’re still mutating.”

They’re quiet then, him dabbing gently at a cut on his throat. They didn’t get him too badly this time—a couple beatings and a knife held to his throat, but nothing like the bad days. “I think… I think my vision got better after that guy hit my head.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. Everything looks crisper. Brighter. I can see, like, remnants of other things. Traces of blood where it used to be, the sweat on people’s skin, light where there isn’t any… I don’t know, it’s weird. I thought maybe I was just hallucinating at first, but… I guess I’m not.” He doesn’t tell the doctor the most important one: when he caught a glimpse of that dead addict’s cold body, the man didn’t look alive—he looked dull, waxen, pallid, like the color had been siphoned from him. “I think I can see, like, other things.”

He frowns. “What?”

Peter shrugs. “I don't really get it, either.” Peter hasn’t had much control of his body since the spider bite.

The doctor says, “Well, they did hit your occipital lobe—that’s the part I repaired.” His head’s much better now, his skull healed over into solid bone. There’s still a bone callus there where the crack once was, a bump that he can still run his fingers over. “It’s mostly responsible for your vision—color, form, motion, stuff like that. Follow the light for me.” His eyes follow. “Yeah, I’m no ophthalmologist, but I’d say your eyes are a little larger than normal, and reflecting a lot more light than the average human eye.” The doctor passes his otoscope in front of Peter’s face again. “You know at night, if you see a pair of eyes on the side of the road, it’s usually a fox or some other creature—humans don’t have that kind of reflection in their eyes. Just animals, lizards, bugs…” He puts down the scope. “Let me try something.” He leans over to the wall and turns off the light with a soft click . “How many fingers?”

Even with the lights off, Peter can see the doctor perfectly, every bit of him—the wrinkles in his face, the sweat on his palms, the heat in his cheeks, and, of course, the three white fingers he has raised. “Three,” he says, and the doctor turns the light back on.

He’s looking at Peter. “Your eyes started to bleed, you know, when you woke up. It must’ve been from your eyes mutating. Your body thought your vision was in danger, from the hit—”

“—so I adapted,” says Peter. “To see in the dark.”

The doctor’s scribbling on a pad of paper; Peter wants to ask for it—the paper, the marker—because they don’t have it in their cell, but he bites his tongue. If Charlie found them stealing from the doctor, they’d have a worse punishment than just not being able to write. “You can use that, you know,” he says. “Your eyes. We can use that, to try to get out of here.”

Peter glowers at the man. “I’ve tried getting out,” says Peter, and he knows he sounds like a whiny kid but that’s all he has in him right now.

The doctor is taken aback by his sudden hostility; he puts down his notepad. “I know,” says the doctor gently. “I know you have.”

There’s so much he wants to say, but he doesn’t have the energy. He wants to say—no, scream— I’m f*cking tired! Everything hurts, all the time! I can’t get out of here, I’m never going to get out of here! He wants to grab the doctor by his stupid f*cking lab coat and shake him and scream, Do you know what it’s like to be in pain all the time? Every hour of every day? To be afraid all the time? To be scared to go to sleep and scared to wake up, so scared all the time that you’re even being tortured in your dreams? But he doubts the doctor has known even a fraction of what he goes through outside of the operating room. He doesn’t know what it’s like to come back to a cell to a little girl who just wants to hug her dad—and instead, she gets you. To sit with her every day and try to keep her happy. He doubts that Dr. Skivorski has ever felt hunger the way he and Cassie do. Every morning, they await their meals like a dog with a bowl of tasteless kibble. Just the sight of the door’s food slot is enough to make his mouth water. He doesn’t know that every time they escape they get something else taken away—their mattress, their blankets, their pillows, their toys, their vitamins, their bandages… Anything that could be taken away from them has been.

But the doctor doesn’t know; he couldn’t possibly understand. So Peter doesn’t say any of this. Instead he says, in such a dull voice that it doesn’t even sound like his own, “We do. It’s just…hard. I’m never” —able to walk without his leg crumpling underneath him— “in good shape. Neither is she. They keep me” —so doped up that he can barely focus his eyes properly, on so much sh*t that his mind feels like it’s swimming in pea soup— “so sedated that I can’t do much.”

The doctor shakes his head, and his star necklace sways over the front of his scrubs. “It's okay. That’s okay. We can still figure out a way to get you out of here. Don’t give up—let’s go through it again, okay?”

“Okay,” says Peter quietly. There’s a miserable ache in his stomach. “To get out, I gotta get out of the cell—it’s reinforced by vibranium, stuff I couldn’t break through even at, like, max strength. Then I gotta get me and Cassie down the hall and to another door—that’s reinforced too, and guarded by at least two people, with a keypad. Then I gotta get up a ladder and to the bunker door, which is on the ceiling and it’s got another keypad. I’ve never even gotten that far.” His throat is raw from all of the talking—he’s not used to speaking this much. Even he and Cassie mostly just sit these days, quiet and still like broken dolls in the bottom of a toy bin.

He’s still sitting on this operating table, and at last he’s calm enough that the doctor has come close. The man asks permission to insert a syringe of local anesthetic to the worst of his cuts. Peter hadn’t realized that this whole time he’d been gripping his left arm in lieu of a tourniquet, squeezing the wound so tightly it’d cut off most of his circulation. “Can I?” Dr. Skivorski asks, and Peter stops, staring down at his arm where his hand is clamped over the wound. When he pulls his hand away, he finds a bloody mess. He doesn’t remember Charlie doing that; he doesn’t remember grabbing his ram like that. “I promise, it’ll hurt less—”

“I know,” Peter says. That’s not the problem. The problem is, he doesn’t remember Charlie doing that. What had Charlie done to him today? When he tries to remember, the moment’s hazy, awash with thick vibranium cuffs and Mr. Stark’s raw voice. “Yeah, fine.”

The doctor does it quickly, and soon Peter’s arm is numb and heavy. The stitches are slow and careful, nothing like his and Cassie’s in the beginning, and when he’s done there’s nothing but a criss-cross of wire instead of a gaping wound. He and Cassie used to use dental floss and sewing thread and anything else they were gifted that would do the job. Not this—clean, even, and safe.

“Deeper than usual,” mutters the doctor. “What did this?”

“Knife,” he says, and he mimes the rest of it: Charlie grabbing it with the blade pointed down, thrusting the tip into his restrained forearm, and pushing deeper and deeper every time Peter stopped screaming. He’s lost in the memory then, and Peter keeps thinking it on repeat—deeper, deeper, deeper. Every time Peter thought the blade had gone far enough, Charlie would smile and call out, “Tony, you watching?” and would yank it out and stab it back in nearly the same spot.

The doctor’s saying his name again, and finally he finds himself back in the real world—sitting on the papered operating table, arm deadened by anesthetic, the doctor standing far too close. He finds himself shaking again, and the doctor says, softly, “We might have a chance this time, Peter. They lost a few people recently, so we could…” He’s still talking about an escape plan, and Peter finds himself with a searing sensation in his chest, like someone’s put his lungs on a griddle and is waiting for them to cook all the way through. “...know who has the keys, then if you take him out…”

He has a hate, suddenly, for the doctor’s naivety, for his hopefulness, for his aspirations to escape, and he feels the hate grip him like a clawed creature in his chest. Still trembling, he snaps, “Forget it. Even if they were all dead, I’d still be stuck here. I don't know the password and I can’t break through the vibranium and I can’t take out anyone because I’m—I’m—I’m—” Weak , he wants to say, but he can’t choke out the word. Look at me! he wants to scream. I’m nothing! I’m nothing anymore! “We’re f*cked, okay? We’re never getting out of here!”

He used to be stron g. He could pull apart walls like paper, he could snap bones like toothpicks. He could close his eyes and tell exactly who was a threat and who wasn’t. And now… he’s nothing. He can barely walk. He’s so used to being hungry that he doesn’t even feel it anymore, just a constant ache in his gut. He can barely hit someone, let alone heal up properly. He’s just wasting away.

The doctor tries, “Peter…” but Peter’s not listening. All he can think is: I’m seventeen, I’m seventeen, I’m seventeen.

Seventeen, and still stuck in this hellhole.

THURSDAY, JULY 5 — 8:42 PM

Happy Hogan’s gonna burst a blood vessel. Or have a stroke. Or whatever it is people have when they’re stressed.

Because if what Ned just told him is true—and, well, why would the kid lie?—then Peter Benjamin Parker has been missing for weeks. Months.

Peter’s been missing for eighty-eight days.

And the only one person who knows where he is—the man of the hour: genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist Tony Stark.

Happy hits the gas. Right now, he doesn’t care if he gets a ticket, he doesn’t care if he bumps one car or a dozen on his way upstate, but he’s got to get to Pepper.

The kids are in the back of his car, whispering to each other in only the way best friends do. Whatever bullsh*t Michelle—MJ, he corrects himself—had told him about how she and Ned weren’t friends, she’s clearly been lying. When Happy adjusts the rearview mirror, he can see them both. Seatbelts strained across both of their chests, they’re whispering to each in rushed, frantic tones; MJ’s got a hand on Ned’s shoulder, talking, and Ned’s got his head bowed again, nodding. They’re definitely friends. That cord of tension he saw before has snapped.

They drive and they drive and Ned won’t stop asking, “Are there any cameras in the car? At the house? I—I know you guys have, like, a ton of cameras at Stark Industries, but you have to remember what I said—“

“I remember,” says Happy. He remembers because Ned started freaking out the first time he relayed the conversation between him and Tony. If I do anything, Peter dies, Ned gasped in huge, hiccupy sobs. If I tell people about him, he dies. If I tell people about May, he dies. If I try to go looking, he dies. Please, please don’t tell anyone. “Don’t worry about it. We got tinted windows, attached garage, the whole thing. We’re going straight to the big house where Pepper” — and Tony , he thinks bitterly— “live, so no one will know you’re here but us.”

When they get to the house, he parks in the attached garage and hurries the kids inside. Pepper’s waiting there, still dressed in her work clothes: a loose magenta pantsuit and black blouse. “What’s going on?” Pepper asks. The cut of her blouse and the waist of her pantsuit hides her bump well; neither Ned nor MJ say a word about it, not even a surprised stare. “You wouldn’t tell me over the phone, so—spit it out.”

“You might want to sit down for this,” says Happy, and he pushes a stool away from the counter for her.

She sits.

Happy nudges the kid forward; the kid shuffles a couple steps to Pepper, still clasping his backpack in front of him. “Go on, tell her. Tell her what you told me.”

Ned gulps. “I'm just like—you know how Mr. Stark's been gone? Well not like, gone gone, but just like not coming out of his room gone? I mean, of course you know”—he slaps his own forehead— “what am I saying, of course you know—”

“Ned,” says Pepper stiffly, “please.”

“Sorry. Right. Um…” The kid glances at Happy and then helplessly at MJ, who nods in some completely teenage way. “Peter went missing at around the same time that Mr. Stark went into his lab. I got worried—Peter hadn’t answered any of my texts to, like, anyone , so I called him. Mr. Stark, I mean. I called him, like a million times until he picked up in like a second, and I… I talked to him.”

Happy can see the puzzle pieces shifting behind Pepper’s eyes. “You talked to him?” she echoes, now glancing between the two of them. “Okay, so what did he say?”

“I, uh, asked him about Peter. Told him what was going on. And he seemed… I don’t know. He said, um, Peter isn’t coming back for a while .” Ned looks suddenly embarrassed; he takes a step back now that all of Pepper’s attention is on him. “He told me not to tell anyone, that I needed to stop looking into it, because if people got suspicious…” The kid swallows. “...Peter could die. I thought maybe it was an Avengers thing at first, but after a while…”

“Do you remember anything else?”

“Yeah.” Ned swallows. “He said Peter’s life was in my hands.”

THURSDAY, JULY 5 — 9:02 PM

Pepper’s pacing is wearing a hole into the floor.

“So where’s Peter?” she asks Ned.

“I don’t know,” says the kid miserably.

“Happy? Where is he?”

Happy looks at the floor.

“So you’re telling me,” she says, as she makes another pivot and turn, “that this whole time—not only has Peter not been at an internship, but he’s been missing for two months?”

“Yes,” says Happy, weakly.

“And Tony knows? And that’s why he’s…” She waves her hands; Happy knows what she means.

“Yes,” he says again.

“…and his aunt’s been in the hospital—this entire time?”

There’s no need for Happy to say yes again, but he does nonetheless.

“…and this whole time you’ve been…what? Who the hell have you been talking to?”

“Not talking,” says Happy miserably. “Emailing.”

Pepper can feel the weight of Peter’s absence as suddenly as if he were standing on her shoulders. “Okay—okay.” She doesn’t give herself time to think about it. “Happy, alert the nearest police station to Peter’s apartment—then the NYPD Missing Persons Unit, and try to—”

“No, no, no!” Ned panics, and the kid’s way closer to Pepper than she’d like. “Don’t do that! Mrs. Potts—Ms. Potts, um—you don’t—we can’t do that!” His hand-waving is becoming frantic. “We can’t tell anyone—Mr. Stark said. Something will happen to Peter if we do.”

“They’re police,” counters Pepper. “They know how to do things discreetly.”

Ned’s shaking his head, near-tearful. “Mrs. Potts,” he says. “Mr. Stark hasn’t told the police this whole time . If he hasn’t, that means he knows there’s no way he can without…something happening. And if he couldn’t figure it out…”

The kid doesn’t finish; he doesn’t have to: If Tony Stark couldn’t figure it out, then who could?

She paces and paces. If Ned and Happy and MJ are right, then Tony didn’t lock himself away to piss her off or to brood alone or to hide from the world. He locked himself away to save Peter; she doesn’t know how or why, but it’s something . But that would mean… That would mean Peter’s in major trouble.

She can figure this out. She’s CEO of Stark Industries in more than just title. She is the thing that holds the entire company together; she can find a missing teenager.

“Pep—”

“Shut up and let me think.”

She thinks and she thinks.

“Okay. okay. Here's what I need to happen. Happy, I need you to get Tony’s old AIs—anything pre-FRIDAY, anything that has no connection to Peter or the lab—so anything from when we still had the Tower or earlier, okay? Then I need—okay, Ned?”

“Yeah?”

“Do you know where the car crash was?”

Ned rattles off an address.

“Okay, Happy, I need you to track down the satellite footage of that spot from the date of the crash—maybe a weeklong span, got it? Don’t use Stark Industries equipment.” She feels so stupid. The AI. The same day Tony went into the lab, FRIDAY was hacked. “I need you to do this the old-fashioned way. I need physical copies, understand me? Tapes, DVDs, flash drives, whatever you can get me. No email, no Internet. If you can, follow the vehicles and anyone involved in the crash as far as you can. See if you can find where he went.”

She turns to the kids. “Ned, MJ, keep up the impression. Peter is at an internship. Happy, keep communicating with that email. Nothing has changed, got it? Nothing. Don’t come back here. I’ll find a way to contact you if I need you.”

The kids nod like a couple of bobbleheads. MJ looks like she’s going to be sick; Ned keeps squeezing his fists into tight balls at his side.

FRIDAY, JULY 6 — 1:10 AM

Cassie wakes to the bunker door opening.

Not the cell door, no. The bunker door. The one to the outside. It doesn’t open very often—only when the group needs to go on food runs or get supplies for the gun that they’re making. Cassie knows all of this.

But Charlie’s people don’t tend to leave the bunker in groups of more than three—so Cassie Paxton-Lang startles awake when she hears the bunker door open followed by a series of voices—three, four, five at least?—entering the bunker, and also the voices—five, six, seven?—that greet them.

There’s way too many voices all at once, and they’re yelling.

Peter’s still asleep; when she wakes, her head is still resting on his stomach. They always sleep like this—the way Mommy always used to sleep beside her when she had a nightmare—with Peter closer to the door, a shield from the bad guys, and Cassie against the wall with her head against Peter’s chest as a pillow. They lost their pillow a while ago—she doesn’t remember why.

She and Peter don’t have pajamas, either. They always sleep in their daytime clothes—and, because they tore up their regular clothes to make bandages in the first couple weeks, now they just wear the black-dyed jumpsuits that they have in the bunkers. Peter calls them prisoner’s uniforms , and that’s kind of what they look like, just dyed black. They’re way too big for her, so Peter helped her sew and fold over the sleeves and the pants to make it extra thick to keep her warm.

She gets up slowly, so she doesn’t wake him, and she scoots over the warmed concrete to the head of the bed and slides off onto the floor. Usually, she would crawl to their Treasure Chest, the little bucket nailed to the other side of the room, but there’s something far more pressing: the yelling. All of the yelling.

She crawls over to the door—Cassie’s much too tired to stand—and lays her head by the food slot. It closes and locks from the outside, so she can’t poke her head through, but the slot is thinner than the rest of the cell door, so the sound comes through.

They’re not angry, exactly, but they are definitely high and there’s way more of them than usual. “…said you needed more people.”

“My people,” snaps Charlie. She knows the bearded Charlie’s voice better than anyone’s—she could pick his out of a whole crowd of people. “I wanted more of my people.”

A laugh. “What, more homeless junkies?” His is a new voice. Someone soft-spoken, with a smile hidden inside each word. “No, no, no. Clearly, you’re not getting the job done, because Ross sent me in. You should be grateful, really.”

“Grateful?” The sound of spit hitting ground. “This is my mission! I’m gonna save the world!”

“In order to do that, Keene, you still need a couple more hands. That’s what we’re here for. Me—I’m an engineer. I can help construct the weapon, and these guys behind me, they can help, too—”

“Who are they?” A female voice. Renee, the redhead.

“Soldiers—good ones. Loyal to Ross and loyal to you. They can help pin the kid down.” The man pauses amongst a few grumbles of assent. “There is a kid, isn’t there?”

“Yeah. Parker. We’ve got him in here.”

Footsteps coming. Coming for them. Cassie jumps back from the door, and she scrambles to the bed where Peter is, whispering, “Iron Man! Iron Man!”

Peter stirs with a groggy flail but doesn’t get up the first time, so Cassie grasps his bandaged wrist and squeezes; it’s still cut up from the last time they tied him down.

Peter wakes with a pained gah! and Cassie says it again, almost teary because the people are so close— “Iron Man! Iron Man! ” and at last he seems to understand because his eyes go wide.

He wraps his arms around her and rolls off the bed, landing hard on the ground with a thunk just as the key slips into the lock of their cell door—a thlick sound that frightens her so badly now that she loses control of her bladder for a split second.

Peter moves quick —rolling them both backwards and under the bed, all the way, until Cassie’s back is at the wall. Cassie knows the routine—don’t make a sound, no matter what, but she has to warn him. “New people,” she whimpers, and there are tears coming down her face but she’s trying to be quiet.

“Black Widow,” he whispers back. That’s one of their code words— stay quiet and do as I say. Just as the words leave his mouth, the heavy cell door squeals open. Cassie squeezes her eyes shut, so hard that she sees sparkles of purples and whites on the back of her eyelids. She can be quiet. She has to be quiet.

Peter plants his hands on the wall behind her head, and she curls into his chest. This way, if they try to grab him, they have to pull his sticky hands from the wall, which is pretty hard to do.

The first voice they hear is Charlie’s: “Ah, sh*t—yeah, they do that sometimes. Glenn, Jon, you know what to do.”

Because Peter’s on the outside, it’s easier for one of them to grab him, one reaches under and grabs Peter by his leg—his good one, and he kicks back, nailing him in the face. That’s Jon’s already-broken nose—and he cries out, falling back. His nose is already bleeding, and red falls all over Peter's leg in great big drops. “Ah—f*ck! Are you kidding me?” She sees the guy try to kick at Peter, who’s already tucked his legs back under the bed to shield Cassie again. She can feel his pants tickle against her bare feet.

“Fine, Parker, you wanna play this game today?” There’s some shuffling and some more shuffling and then Charlie’s voice is coming closer. He mutters, “Little spider-bitch.” Peter’s not as his best. He’s tired, so when Charlie yanks at his leg, he breaks it free on the first try. “Let go, Parker! Let” —he pulls again— “go!”

Cassie knows in the way that Peter moves—he’s way too slow. Maybe they hit him too hard or or maybe he’s hungry or maybe he didn’t get enough sleep or maybe—maybe he’s just sad and remembering the bad things. Whatever it is, he’s too slow to fight back, and too slow to hang on, and when Charlie pulls again, Peter’s yanked out from under the bed so fast that he yelps.

“Got him!”

Keeping her eyes closed and her mouth shut, Cassie trembles beneath the bed; she can hear the voices all at once now, a rush of people complaining and shouting and congratulating each other—there’s too many people . “Her, too,” says a girl voice—Renee. “Haroun?”

A male voice sighs. “Sure.”

Then there’s a hand under the bed then, reaching for her like out of those scary movies Daddy likes to watch. She screams and puts her hands on the wall like Peter does, but she doesn’t have sticky hands like him—so when the guy gets his hand around her ankle, he pulls her so fast that her clothes scrape on the concrete floor.

Cassie’s body floods with panic—“No, no!” as she scrabbles at the concrete; her nail catches and snaps on a crack in the floor—“ Peter! ” —and they’re gonna hurt her, they’re gonna beat her, they’re gonna stick a needle in her! She’s crying now, because she knows what’s going to happen and she knows it’s going to hurt a lot ; Cassie just wants Peter to hold her and tell her everything’s gonna be okay.

She thrashes and she screams and she hits a warm chest, screeching and smacking and biting into the first hand that claps over her mouth, sinking her teeth until— “ Ah! Little c*nt!” She knows Renee’s smell—the red-haired woman’s clasping both her wrists now in one hand. She hits Cassie so hard in the gut that Cassie coughs and gasps and keels forward.

The whole time, Peter’s screeching against the wall: “Don’t touch her! Don’t touch her! Don’t touch her! ” Charlie’s people have Peter pinned against the concrete wall; a big blond guy has Peter's right arm and a bald guy has his left arm and an elbow braced against Peter’s back.

Renee finally gets her arms around Cassie’s neck, getting her into a chokehold, and she twists Cassie’s still-casted hand behind her back so far that she cries out—pain in her shoulder!

She can see the whole room from where she’s standing; Cassie has never seen a lot of these people before. She’s not usually the one who leaves the cell—that’s Peter—so maybe they’ve been here before, but she doesn’t remember. There’s six people she doesn’t know—a brown-haired man with a scruffy beard, and five people dressed like army soldiers but in all black. The brown-haired man steps forward with a laugh towards still-thrashing Peter, “Alright, I got him, I got him. Let him go.”

He grasps Peter gently by the back of the neck, almost tenderly, and the man says in a voice as plain as a blank sheet of paper, “Peter, if you don’t calm down, we’re gonna have to hurt that little girl over there, won’t we?”

Cassie’s wheezing, her voice a dry whine through Renee’s chokehold; Peter slows, and the other two men let go of his arms, backing away so that the brown-haired man can come forward. He moves forward and forward until his body blocks her view of Peter—his chest, his hips, his legs consuming Peter’s form—and he says placidly, “Say okay.”

Peter’s voice is quavery. His legs are stiff now, like two crowbars extending from his waist. Quietly, meagrely: “Okay.”

“Good. So you’re the boy, hm?” the man says, with a tilt of his head. He’s still got a hand on Peter’s neck, but his other hand is hanging by his side. “You’re Tony’s boy? Peter?”

Peter’s not fighting back anymore. Peter’s eyes look dark, and he twists his neck so that he’s not looking at the man. He doesn’t say anything.

“Say yes,” says the man.

“Yes,” says Peter.

He laughs. “God,” says the man, and he sounds hungry. “Ross is a f*cking genius.”

He claps Peter on the back twice; Cassie knows the hit isn’t hard enough to hurt Peter, but the way Peter jolts into the wall when the man’s hand meets his back—it makes it seem like the hit really did hurt him. “Stay,” says the man, like Peter is a dog and he’s the master.

And with that, they’re gone as quickly as they arrived; the red-haired lady releases Cassie and dumps her on the ground as the new people file out, even the soldier-looking ones. The brown-haired man says as he leaves, following Charlie’s swaying form, “Let’s get this party started, huh? Show me what you’ve got so far.” Followed by: “You and you—come with me. What do you usually test them on?”

Their voices fade out into nothing—into pieces of shouts and mumbles and laughs, so Cassie stops listening. Her tummy’s still sore from where Renee hit her, and she hugs it tightly.

Peter’s still against the wall, standing where the brown-haired man left him. She knows his bad leg must be bothering him because he’s got all his weight on one leg. What’s wrong with him? When he finally turns around, sitting awkwardly on the floor with his messed-up leg, Peter says, “Cassie,” and he sounds weird, like he’s just come back from a session in the Chair. “Do you remember what that man looks like? Beck?”

Yes. She doesn’t know the man’s name, but now she does. Beck. Brown hair, scruffy face, wandery brown eyes. Cassie remembers; she nods.

“If… If he comes near you? If he looks at you, if he talks about you, if he—if he touches you, you have to tell me, okay?”

“Okay,” she says, and she’s confused. Cassie is very, very confused. Because that man—Beck—barely looked at Cassie. He paid as much attention to Cassie as he did to the toilet in their cell.

Quentin Beck never really looked at Cassie; he only looked at Peter.

“No, Cass, I’m serious. Promise me.”

Why does Peter suddenly sound so much like Mommy and Daddy and Jim? “I promise,” she says.

He rubs his forehead with his palm over and over and over until the bruise there has pinkened with irritation. “Good.”

Notes:

again, lemme k if u wanna see anything happen, the plot's always up for edits lol bc i can never decide on anything for sure haha

thanks so much for keeping up with this fic lol, seriously, all ur comments make me so f*cking happy! lmk what u think! and tell me if i make typos bc i have no beta but our lord and savior lol

Chapter 13: afraid (they're gonna find you)

Summary:

i’m tired so no summary for now, i’ll fix it in the morning. u remember where we’re at. have fun.

CW: violence, torture, kidnapping obv, mortician stuff, non-con drug use, blink and you miss it sexual content

also if it’s unclear PETER DOES NOT ALREADY KNOW BECK- peters just good at sensing vibes, esp of pervs like beck, and could hear everyone say their names

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

FRIDAY, JULY 6 — 8:39 AM

Pepper doesn’t sleep.

She spends the whole night trying to figure out where the hell Peter is. As soon as the morning hits, she calls place after place trying to contact someone who might know where Peter is. There’s one thing that Pepper doesn’t understand: Why didn’t anyone say anything?

She calls the Parkers’ landlady, pretending to be a prospective renter for their apartment building. “We do have a fourth floor apartment available,” says the woman—she’s older, maybe in her seventies. “Two bedroom, two bath, open living room/kitchen plan—really a nice place, and I’ve been trying to rent it out for a couple months now.”

“Why did the last renters leave?” she asks, trying to keep the worry out of her voice. “Sick of New York?”

The landlady laughs. “No—they were actually really happy with the place. They’d been there for years—twelve, fourteen years, something like that?” Her animosity is clear even over the phone. “I don’t know—one day they up and left—left all their stuff behind, too. Left me with the job of cleaning out all their belongings.” She scoffs. “Unbelievable.”

“And you didn’t call anyone?” asks Pepper.

“Like who?” And, when Pepper doesn’t say anything, she adds, “The police? Honey, this is New York. You know how many people just up and leave?”

She calls next to May’s old job; of course she knows where Peter’s aunt worked. She was a nurse at a hospital in Queens. She calls, and she’s on hold for a while before a nurse picks up. “May?” echoes the woman, as soon as Pepper asks. “May Parker? No, she quit ages ago—like, back in April.”

“She quit?”

“Well, not exactly. She just stopped showing up one day. Shame, too. She was one of the good ones.” The nurse sighs. “Probably got sick of the job—we’re pretty understaffed out here.”

Pepper even calls the principal of Peter’s school—Principal Morita. She says she’s calling about a prospective scholarship for Peter Parker, and Morita answers with: “Ma’am, it’s the summer. School’s out. So unless you have an urgent issue about one of our summer school students—”

“No,” she snaps. “I’m calling for Peter. Peter Parker.”

Exasperated, the man adds, “I know. But he’s not one of our summer school students—and besides, he’s been out of school since April. He may not be back in the fall.”

“Really?” asks Pepper. “Is he alright?”

“Alright?” A laugh from the principal. “It’s probably good for the kid.”

“Do you know why he left?”

“No offense, ma’am,” says Principal Morita, “but who cares? Kids leave all the time—for acting gigs, internships, divorces, whatever—and yes, even in the middle of the semester. I’m sure wherever Parker is, he’s fine. That kid could use a break—have you met him?”

Nothing. Nothing. All dead ends.

No one seems to know where Peter is, or care. He’s just another kid who’s dropped off the face of New York City. Every corner she turns, she finds someone else saying, “It’s none of my business,” or “Let the kid live.” Wasn’t she just saying these things a couple days ago? Get off his back, Happy, he’s just a kid. Let him take time off school. Why do you need to constantly know where he is? Who cares?

Happy’s still looking for the camera footage from that night, and they’ve rerouted the task of finding Tony’s old AIs to Rhodey.

She keeps thinking—is there a chance that Peter’s okay? That this is all just a big misunderstanding? That he’s at an internship? Or a summer camp? Or he and May moved away without telling anyone?

She clings onto this stupid thought: Peter’s okay. He’s fine. This is all just a joke. He’s studying biology in Alaska or building houses in Haiti or whatever else kids do with their summers or teaching kids how to code. He broke his phone. He moved away. He’s getting homeschooled. He’s at summer camp.

This thought—this lie—keeps her from falling apart completely.

Pepper knows how to disguise herself.

A well-styled wig, a sweatshirt, and a pair of sunglasses, and she’s invisible to the paparazzi. Once the day is over and the night is in full swing, Pepper drives out to the city, all the way to Park Slope in Brooklyn, and she rings Steve Rogers’ doorbell three separate times.


After a series of footsteps, there’s a commotion behind the door—a man and another man arguing—until after ten minutes, the sound of the door unlocking. When it opens, James Buchanan Barnes—Bucky, she remembers—is there, grasping a 9mm handgun with both hands.

“Oh!” she says suddenly, because she wasn’t expecting to see a gun at eleven o’clock at night.

Bucky Barnes is unrecognizable as the man who supposedly killed King T’Chaka at the United Nations conference in 2016; instead of a dark-haired assassin, she finds a well-built man with light eyes, barefoot and dressed in a long-sleeve tee and boxers. His hair’s been lightened a bit—so the espresso brown of his hair is only visible at the roots, and each strand gets progressively lighter, nearly a platinum blonde at the tips.

The former assassin isn’t pointing the gun at her, but behind her—his legs are slightly bent, like he’s ready to run, and he aims the gun at several points behind her, fully scanning the area on the sidewalk, street, and nearby buildings before ushering her inside. Inside, there’s a well-decorated foyer to greet her—heavy drapes over the windows and a stuffed coat rack beside her. Before her is Steve Rogers, who’s shirtless with just a pair of flannel pants.

Bucky’s still clutching the gun so hard that Steve has to rush to him and push it away from Pepper, saying under his breath, “Bucky—Buck, we’re good. We’re okay, we’re good.”

Still keyed up, Barnes makes a huff of annoyance and jerks away from Steve, clicking the safety off of his handgun before rushing to the door and locks it. There are so many locks on their door that it seems almost obscene: a lock chain at the top that he slides into place, a deadbolt below it, a keyed padlock, and another deadbolt below the doorknob. When Bucky’s done, he vanishes into the other room.

“What’s he doing?” asks Pepper, whose mind is still settled on the handgun she saw. She takes off her sunglasses.

Steve shakes his head. “He’s just—don’t worry about it—are you okay?” He’s giving her that up-and-down look—a quick scan of her body for any sign of injury. Tony gives Peter that scan every time he sees the kid. “Did something happen?”

“What?” Oh. “No, no—nothing’s happened. I’m fine. I just needed… There’s something I wanted to ask you. For…your help.”

The man swallows. He looks strange—like he’s just woken up—and his hair is a complete mess. “You wanna sit down?”

Steve Rogers leads her into their dining area, where there’s a small wooden table with four mismatched chairs; a bottle of cabernet sits between two glasses of wine, one mostly empty and the other half-gone. He clears away the glasses with one hand and grabs the bottle with his other one. “There. You want something to drink? Coffee? Tea?”

She shakes her head. “Really, I don’t want to bother you for long—I wasn’t trying to impose—“

Steve gives a hand wave that must mean don’t-worry-about-it and leaves the room to go rustle in what she assumes is their kitchen. She hears glasses clinking and a faucet running—and then, a hushed pair of voices.

“…doing here? Steve… can’t be telling everyone where we… I don’t…”

“…don’t know, Buck. She’s just…tough time… a friend, I promise… sure it’s...”

“…people after her? Why didn’t you tell me?”

A shushing sound. “Buck…told you everything…”

“…wrong, something’s…”

“Bucky. Hey. Nothing…and even if…”

“…don’t like…just showing up…”

“…be okay, I…”

Their voices get lower and lower, dipping into insistent whispering, until finally she hears some shuffling and fabric rustling.

Through the door, both men come through, and they sit at the table with her. They’ve thrown clothes on now, Bucky having gained a cable-knit sweater and black sweatpants, Steve having gained a yellow sweatshirt. Steve sits across from her and pushes a mug to her. Coffee—even though she hadn’t asked for any. “Decaf,” he says. Bucky sits with his chair a couple feet from the table, and his arms are folded. He’s still got the gun gripped in one hand.

“I’m sorry,” says Pepper, although she doesn’t know why. Maybe it’s because Bucky Barnes is glaring at her like she just spit in his coffee. “I really didn’t mean to cause such a—such a problem for you guys, I just…just couldn’t do this over the phone. Don’t know who’s listening.”

Steve smiles and pats his own mug lightly with his fingers. “It’s okay.” His cup smells like coffee, too.

She looks down at the cup. ““Do you remember—the airport fight, in Germany?”

He laughs lightly. “Kinda hard to forget, Pepper.”

“Do you remember there was a kid there—red and blue suit? Shot spiderwebs from his wrists?”

“Oh, yeah. Queens, right? ‘Course I remember him.”

Pepper grimaces. “He… He’s one of Tony’s interns. We spend a lot of time with him—”

“He did seem a little young,” grumbles Bucky.

“—and Tony sees him kind of like a son, I guess.” She fiddles with the mug. “And, he’s missing.”

“Missing?” echoes Steve, as Pepper takes a sip of her coffee. “Like kidnapped?”

She shakes her head. “I don’t know. We thought he was at an internship, but apparently he’s been missing for a couple months now.” She explains the rest, as much as she can without tearing up—the car crash, May’s hospital stay, Tony’s lockdown, Ned’s phone call. “I spent all day trying to find this kid,” Pepper continues, “and I couldn’t even find a clue.” She sighs. “I need your help to find him. I know you’re retired and everything, but I really do. Something’s… Something’s really wrong here.”

“Have you reported him missing?” asks Steve.

She shakes her head. “We can’t! It’s all connected, you see? Tony—Peter—FRIDAY—so if we can find Peter, then Tony will be free, too. I just need your help. Please.”

Bucky and Steve are exchanging looks.

“I wouldn’t ask if it wasn’t important. This kid… He’s not the kind to just disappear, and no one seems to know where he is.”

“What do you mean,” starts Steve, with his blond brows downturned into a concerned frown, “when you say Tony will be free?”

“He’s trapped,” she says, with a wave of her hand so robust that she almost knocks over her coffee cup. “Because of Peter. He… Peter went missing around the same time, so it all makes sense now. Tony didn’t do any of it on purpose. He did it for Peter.” What is so hard to understand about this?

Another look between the two supersoldiers; Bucky’s still got a firm handle on his handgun.

“Pepper,” says the blonde slowly, “of course we’ll help. But whether or not Tony had a reason for hitting you doesn’t change the fact that he did hit you. It doesn’t make it right.”

Pepper can suddenly taste the bitterness of the coffee on her tongue, and she swallows, but her mouth still tastes the same. “Can I have some sugar?” she asks, ignoring his comment.

Bucky gives her a hard look; his metal arm, of which she can only see his hand, clenches around nothing. “Sure,” says Steve, and he stands to get it.

SUNDAY, JULY 8 - 11:16 PM

Riri is not a fan of the new guy.

He’s apparently some engineering expert who used to work for Tony Stark and has some weird vendetta against the guy, but besides that Quentin Beck acts like he runs the place. He and his five soldiers—granted courtesy of that Ross guy—eat all their food, drink all their liquor, and even snorted up enough of Charlie’s stash that he had to call Ross for more.

And besides that, Beck is always lingering by Parker’s cell: in the middle of the day before he goes in the Chair, in the evening as they’re eating, and even in the middle of the night when they’re all asleep. Tonight, as Charlie and the rest of the crew—including the five new soldiers—are getting high in the barracks, Beck sneaks off into the hallway; Riri follows him.

He’s a little drunk. They were doing shots all evening, and he stinks of cheap beer. He unlocks Parker’s door—there’s a choir of hissed words from Parker and the Lang girl inside—and he slips inside. How the hell did he get the keys?

She inches forth against the wall, listening carefully. Inside the kids’ cell, Quentin Beck is speaking in a low, sultry whisper, but Riri can’t make out any of the words. When she gets to the door, it’s still hanging open, and she can see inside—the Lang girl under the bed, Parker sitting against the wall, Beck looming over him with his mouth by the boy’s ear. Parker’s squirming like a fish out of water, head twisting away from the man’s scruffy chin, and Beck pushes a hand against the kid’s throat to still him.

Loudly, Riri clears her throat and announces, “We’re not supposed to leave their door open.”

Beck gets up from his spot with Parker and smiles, all teeth. “Of course,” he says. “I was just checking on our boy here.”

As soon as Beck’s hand is off his throat, a trembling Parker ducks and glances toward Riri—for a brief moment, his eyes meet hers, and then he hastily dives under the bed.

Beck doesn’t help Charlie with Parker’s live sessions in the Chair—he says he doesn’t like to be on camera—but he does watch from the doorway.

Today, they’ve got Parker locked in the Chair—but they’ve flattened it out into some kind of table-like piece, and Parker’s face-down on his stomach, strapped to it with his arms above his head, ankles and hips and shoulders tied down, his head the only thing free. It’s clearly difficult for the kid to see what’s going on with the way he’s positioned: if he faces front, he gets a faceful of vibranium table; if he turns to either side, his bound arms block his vision; and he’s much too tired to lift his head for more than a few seconds.

His black-chambray jumpsuit has been yanked down to his waist; the empty sleeves dangle from either side of the table. His naked back is a pale sheet of mutilated skin—scars upon scars upon scars. Short, skinny lines from a knife. Pairs of dark spots from a cattle prod. Raw, mottled splotches from a blowtorch.

Like a thing possessed, Parker’s already whimpering—no’s and please’s and oh, god’s—all swamped by this high, croaky whine that comes deep from the kid’s gut. It’s a sound that she’s never heard before Charlie brought them all into the bunker—the whine of a starving foal or a dying pup or a stray cat with its face clawed off.

This place brings out something animal in Parker.

He jerks against the table every time someone even shifts in his direction; his wrists are already bleeding from chafing against his cuffs, and Charlie hasn’t even started yet. If Riri thinks about it, she hasn’t seen Parker without bleeding wrists the entire time she’s known him. He reeks of sweat and blood and grime and a little piss. His hair’s still patchy on one side from the surgery.

Riri tunes out as soon as Charlie puts Stark on speaker. She doesn’t usually come to Parker’s daily sessions, but they have so few people now that Charlie demanded they all come to “make a show of force.” On any average day, Charlie would just knock Parker around a bit, knife him a little, or maybe bring out the sledgehammer if he was feeling particularly violent. But oddly, ever since Quentin Beck showed up, Charlie hasn’t been beating him like usual. He brings out the fancier tools—the electroconvulsive headgear that hangs above the chair, the cattleprod, the blowtorch, and even waterboarding. He says it “makes for a better show.”

Beck’s here, watching with her in the doorway, edged out of the frame of the video. “How old is he?” he asks, not taking his eyes off Parker.

Why the hell does he care? Riri folds her arms. “Like, sixteen?” The man’s gotta be thirty-five, maybe forty. An attractive forty—attractive in a Velvet Buzzsaw, Nocturnal Animals sort of way, but forty nonetheless. So why is he asking about teenagers?

Beck hums, low in his throat. “Think he’s cute?”

Riri feels a twist in her gut. “I guess I've never really thought about it,” she answers carefully.

“I mean you’ve seen him, right?” He tilts his head, and a bit of his brown hair shifts on his forehead. “You’re about his age…”

“I guess,” she says. To her, Parker’s never been much more than a thing, a tool that they’re using to complete Charlie’s plan. She’s not here to think about him in any way other than that.

He’s got a joint in one hand, probably one of Charlie’s: bit of weed, bit of something else… “He sure is something. It’s something in those teary f*cking eyes—god. What I wouldn’t do for a little piece of him… ”

“We only keep him to keep Tony in line,” snaps Riri. “We’re not here to—to—to—”

“—to what?” finishes Beck, and with another puff of his joint, he grins.

By this point, Mason’s started on Parker with a blowtorch, burning neat lines into his back like he’s cooking f*cking pork tenderloin instead of a sixteen-year-old’s skin, and the kid’s screaming so loud that Charlie gets fed up with the noise and stuffs a sock in his mouth for the rest of the session.

They watch the whole thing together. She hates this part—when something in Parker breaks and he devolves into hitched sobs and unintelligible, delirious begging. Usually, Riri’ll hide in the back with Zhiyuan, letting him practice different tattoo designs on her until they finish with the kid, but today—today she’s stuck. She keeps turning and closing her eyes and trying not to listen to his muffled screams. But Beck—Beck keeps his eyes on Peter.

Riri used to read a lot as a kid. Harry Potter, sure, like all the other kids, but honestly any book she could get her hands on. She bounced around so much in foster care that she picked up anything she could find. She remembers the way they used to describe screams in them: bloodcurdling. She never really understood that, not really, until she heard Parker scream like this. It makes her blood curdle into something unrecognizable, congeal into a paste so thick that she can’t move and she can feel every hot, soured pulse in her face and in her neck and in her chest. It’s horrible. Hearing him scream makes everything in her body shrivel a little bit, makes her arms and legs and chest ache with some kind of phantom pain—like she’s under the heat of that blowtorch instead of Peter.

She blinks. There’s that twist in her stomach again, like her intestines have contorted into a snarled knot. Parker, she corrects herself. Not Peter. Parker.

Beside her, Quentin Beck’s face is shining; the overhead fluorescents light up every bead of sweat on his forehead. At first, she thinks it’s from the heat of the blowtorch, but then she sees in her peripheral vision—he’s shifting and shifting and shifting in the doorway.

She moves to say something—maybe, I know this is hard to watch or it won’t go on much longer—but when she turns to look at Beck, his low-lidded eyes are trained on Peter, his mouth is half-open, his tongue is resting on his bottom lip, and his hand is deep in his pants.

Riri’s heart drops into her stomach, and she quickly looks away.

TUESDAY, JULY 10 — 4:04 AM

Tony’s taken apart sixteen different prototypes in the last hour, and honestly—unless something in modern science changes, he can’t make the weapon that Charlie craves so badly.

He keeps going back to the original plans drawn up by HYDRA for this breed of weapon. The first was inspired by a Luger P08 pistol that Schmidt once used in the second World War. According to Cap, he’d narrowly avoided getting vaporized himself by the thing. But the weapon used the power of the Tesseract stored in a unique battery to gather that kind of energy.

Can he even get that kind of power on his own? Is it humanly possible? It’s magic, you ignorant f*ckheads! he wants to scream. I can’t make magic! He’s not Thor, he’s not Loki, he’s not Dr. Steven Strange or any of those magical beings. He’s just…Tony. He’s just Tony Stark. Human being. Genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist—he used to say. Whatever that means. All of that’s useless now because even with all of the money, resources, and genius he has, he still can’t save his kid.

Taking sleep supplement pills every hour is keeping him awake, but it’s taking its toll on his body. He can feel himself deteriorating; it feels like his mind’s turning to sand one cell at a time. After hours and hours of work, he’ll find himself on the floor or on the lab table because he’s collapsed. He barely recognizes himself in the mirror anymore—he’s a bearded lunatic—with his graying hair threading through his shaggy, unbrushed hair and his clothes so unwashed that even that Riri girl wrinkles her nose when she opens the door.

He doesn’t even bother checking the doors anymore, doesn’t bother to turn on the PA system outside or check for visitors unless it’s Riri with his supplies. What does it matter if board members come knocking at his door? What does it matter if Rhodey begs him to come outside, if Pepper throws coffee at the front doors, if Happy asks him to come back to work? It won’t change anything—it won’t change the fact that Peter is dying every day that he doesn’t figure out how to create this bullsh*t weapon.

He has to do this. He has to. He doesn’t have the option to throw his hands in the air and give up. If he doesn’t figure this out, Peter will—Peter will—

He’s slapping his forehead so hard it hurts to get rid of the thought. No. Nothing’s going to happen to Peter. He’ll figure this out. He will.

THURSDAY, JULY 12 — 12:24 PM

Just after lunch, Officer Julia Paz and Agent Jimmy Woo head to a morgue just outside the Bronx.

They’ve got a meeting set up with Ross. It’s extremely difficult to get ahold of the man, which is no surprise considering he’s one of the highest-ranking members of the American government. However, Director Coulson gave their case a political boost and helped them get a meeting as soon as possible—set for July 18th, a Wednesday. Until then, however, they’re attempting to gather more evidence—more PCP overdoses, more tattooed corpses… Anything that could help their case.

The medical examiner meets them there with multiple potential victims and a smile. “We’ve had a couple unclaimeds sticking around this place,” says the examiner, as she pulls out a couple corpses from the wall in cold drawers. “Saw the APB you put it out, so I figured I had some bodies that might be useful. Bodies that are unclaimed remain here for six weeks before being buried in unmarked graves. We do still keep track of all their records, though.” She fishes through some papers that are set on top of a long metal table and hands them over. “You know, it’s pretty strange to put one out for this kind of thing—PCP overdose victims? What do we got, some kind of serial killer aiming for addicts?”

“Could be,” says Julia, just as Woo responds, “Unlikely.” She shoots a glare in his direction, but he doesn’t seem to catch it.

The medical examiner continues, “Here we’ve got a Jane Doe—female, probably between the ages of sixteen and twenty, been here about four weeks, died of a PCP overdose. She was found in a dumpster after a few days, so the body had deteriorated quite a bit by the time law enforcement got ahold of it.” She taps the dead girl’s wrist. “Track marks, loads of other drugs in her system when she died… Seemed like a pretty consistent abuser of intravenous drugs, and forensic analysis of her hair shows she was definitely addicted to PCP—for a year at least.”

There’s a few girls on the list that Ty gave her, so this could be one of the female addicts. “Any tattoos?” prompts Julia, taking out her tablet to take notes. “Unusual marks?”

The woman shrugs. “A few half-finished tattoos on her back, but other than that…” The girl’s already face-down on the table, so the examiner simply moves the drapes covering her to expose her back. There, on her dilapidated skin are dark tattoos—a few large floral ones, a couple unfinished faces, and some kind of snakelike tattoo centered at the base of her spine.

No, not snakes. A hydra. It’s missing the skull and the suckers on its tentacles, but it’s definitely the basics of a HYDRA symbol. “See that, Woo?” she says distinctly. “Another HYDRA.”

The medical examiner walks over to another locker in the corner and, after checking the label on the front, yanks open another cold drawer containing a corpse. “This one’s a little stranger. Another Jane Doe—female, between the ages of twenty-five and thirty, found three weeks ago with her head bashed in. She died of the blunt force trauma, but she had so much PCP in her system that without the trauma, she may have died of the overdose otherwise. Want to take a look?”

They undrape the corpse—she’s been clearly embalmed, the body well-preserved, but her bruising and other wounds have been frozen in time by the chemicals. She’s covered in bruises like the ones they saw on Ava Starr’s corpse.

Beside her, Agent Woo snaps photos of the body. This could be another lead. “Any tattoos?” asks Julia Paz again.

The medical examiner nods and turns the girl’s leg a bit so that the officer can see. “There’s one on her thigh here, one behind the ear, and another on the upper shoulder.”

There it is again—a HYDRA symbol on the shoulder. This one’s a little more haphazard, but it’s still clearly a hydra. “Thank you,” says Woo. “We’ll be in touch. If you find any other addicts” —he scrawls the police station number on a card and hands it to her— “or anyone else with tattoos like these, please let us know.”

The woman in the lab coat adds, “There don’t tend to be many PCP overdoses these days. People tend to stay away from that stuff if they can help it—too many horror stories.”

As they head back to the car, Woo starts, “You know, it’s been a couple months. If we find your brother and he’s—

“Don’t say it,” snaps Julia, throwing the passenger’s door open, but she’s already imagining the end of his sentence: ended up like Lyle. Ended up like the two Jane Does at the morgue. Dead. Overdosed. Beaten. Her little brother’s body tossed in a lake or abandoned under an overpass or left in a repossessed house. Abandoned to decompose slowly, like a, never to be found.

Not Charlie. Never Charlie. Not if she can help it. She’s not giving up on him.

FRIDAY, JULY 13 — 10:19 AM

Charlie Keene doesn’t remember exactly what he’s on, but he feels good. First thing in the morning, he shoots up in the barracks and it takes away every ache and pain he’s ever had. He feels so f*cking good that the sweat comes out of him in sweet runnels own his skin. He finds himself humming songs he doesn’t know and walking around the bunker—each floor is like a secret tunnel, each room a hidden treasure.

He’s made for this: action, adventure, intrigue! He feels like James Bond or Jason Bourne or John Wick—no one can stop him. In one room he finds cryogenic chambers; in another he finds a rack of torture equipment—drills, needles, blades, hatchets, and pliers.

He’s practicing with them, swinging the hatchets and brandishing the drills, when that little girl Riri comes in. “Charlie?“ she says, knocking lightly on the door-jamb. “I think we need to get the kids some different food. The McDonald’s are swarming with police now, anyways—all looking for Cassie, so we should probably try something new.” She’s coming closer—don’t come any closer! “And they found McDonald’s wrappers in the car after that crash at the campground, so…”

Charlie picks up some pliers and chuckles. “You need… You need to stop worrying about those kids. They’ll live.”

Riri inches into the doorway, still half a room away from him. “No,” she says, and her tone pisses him off. “No, they won’t. They can’t just eat Happy Meals all day every day. It’s not enough calories for either of them—and the little girl—have you seen her hair?”

“What do you care about the Lang girl’s hair? You don’t see me picking on Lang for his dreads, do you?” He’s referring to Scott Lang’s ratty, unbrushed hair; if they gave him the opportunity to brush his hair, he would, but Lang spends most of his time in that wheelchair by the computer or getting dragged to the toilet by one of the stronger guys. He’s worryingly odd now, like something out of Cuckoo’s Nest, mostly talking to himself or shouting about his daughter—she supposes that’s what happens when you leave someone in the same room every day by themselves except for when you’re torturing a teenager in front of him.

“It’s falling out, Charlie. Her hair is falling out. That's what happens to kids who aren’t getting enough, like, nutrients. They need other foods. Have you heard her sleep at night?”

He scoffs. “I don’t listen to kids sleep—I’m not a f*cking perv.”

Riri looks mad. “No, no, that’s not what I mean. She’s got a rattle in her chest when she breathes—like a—like she’s sick. She’s sick.”

“Well, we’ve got a doctor now,” snaps Charlie. “You made sure of that—so what’s the issue? Send her to him!”

“He can’t fix the nutrients in her f*cking food!” the girl shouts.

Charlie can’t stand another word to come from this stupid girl’s mouth; he stands up tall, taking a step toward her, and she flinches back. Good. She should be afraid. He’s the one in charge, not her.

He comes at her slowly. Her mouth is open as she quite literally backtracks, stumbling backwards into the wall. “I'm sorry,” she says, breathy and quick. “I’m sorry, Charlie, I didn't mean to yell. I—I’m sorry.”

He can smell the fear wafting off the girl like steam out of a boiling pot—and he laughs. He laughs so hard that he brings the hatchet to his chest; when did he pick it up? The hatchet is light as a feather and rusty as a sewage pipe and the girl in front of him looks bewildered as he keeps laughing. “You know,” he says, returning to the rack of metal instruments and placing the hatchet with the rest, “my sister’s like you. Always worrying, always… caring.”

The girl nods; she looks strange—big-eyed and wobble-kneed. “Thanks,” she says quietly. Riri. Riri. Didn’t this girl have a brother once? Yeah, she did—just like Charlie had a sister once.

He still has a sister; right?

“Gonna get you killed if you’re not careful,” he adds, because he knows it’s true.

They’re quiet for a little while. She stands against the wall, unmoving; he stares at her. She looks so much like his sister—not in the way she appears, but in the squint in her eyes and the worry in her fisted hands. “You’re.. You’re a good kid, Riri. A good kid. You’re gonna do great…things.” He looks at her again, staring so deeply that she glances away. She’s got box braids now—when’d she get those?

“Charlie,” she says, with her back still up against the wall, “even if you don’t, like, care about the kids—we still can’t go back to those McDonald’s. Police went through Mateo’s car—there were wrappers in there. They’ve been searching those places like crazy. If we keep going back, we’re gonna get caught.”

Charlie starts laughing again—isn’t this hilarious? She’s so funny, this kid—always makes him laugh. What a good kid. “Fine, fine, whatever, give ‘em some of Stark’s stash. We’ll make another trip to the food pantry when we can.”

Still lingering by the door, Riri adds, “It could be good for us, you know? Having a little more variety in our diet, too. Could be healthy.”

Charlie chuckles.“Riri,” he says, “We’re not gonna live long enough for any diet to save us.”

Notes:

chap title from 'char' by crystal castles

f*ck my life with a chainsaw bc my hairdresser turned my hair legit orange. like ron weasley orange. trying to get it fixed but rn i’m hopping around work looking like a goddamn idiot. pray for me lol

did u guys catch my jake gyllenhaal joke

also i need some character names, one for a male character two chapters from now, thanks guys, thanks for reading

Chapter 14: bad dreams

Summary:

“You’re real fond of that girl, aren’t you, Petey?” Beck shakes the bag again—crinkle, crinkle, crinkle. “Come out here and I’ll give some to you and her.”

Cassie knows how hungry Peter is; after all, she does fall asleep to the sound of his growling stomach every night. Peter licks his chapped lips, glances at her, and says, “Stay here.”

Notes:

chap title from 'acid rain' by lorn

CW: violence, injury, child injury, implied sexual harassment, beck being a dick, references to skip and CSA

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

SATURDAY, JULY 14 — 12:12 PM

It’s noon, and the food slot is open.

There’s a face in the hole—two blinking, brown eyes—and the slow scrape of metal against concrete. Two little tubes roll her way. She jumps backwards— what is that? But when it rolls to a slow stop just a foot from the door, she finds it’s not a knife or a severed limb or a syringe. It’s a can. It’s two cans.

She pokes at the first one gingerly. There are letters on the metal cylinder—and numbers, too. How long has it been since she’s seen numbers and letters? In the old days when they first got here, Peter used to dip his fingers in the running sink-water and write on the concrete walls. He’d teach her multiplication tables and new words and the lore of Star Wars.

But Peter is tired now, and they don’t do that anymore.

She hasn’t seen words like this in so long that it’s hard to focus enough to read them. C-H-E-F. Chef? And then another word, this one much longer, and she almost forgets that she knows letters like y and r . Boyardee . Chef Boyardee! Her eyes drag downwards, and there’s an image of delicious pasta that she can’t remember the name of—a meat-filled pocket that she and Mommy and Daddy used to eat together, in red sauce with yellowy garlic bread.

It’s getting harder and harder to remember the taste of garlic butter, the crunch of toasted bread, the stain of marinara sauce.

She’s so confused. What is this? A trick? The can felt heavy enough to be full. Were they aiming for her head through the food slot? Trying to kill her? Trying to kill Peter? She can’t smell through it—there could be anything could be inside. But if it truly is as the picture says…

….oh, Cassie’s going to get this can open. She wants to sink her teeth into a ravioli. That’s the word, there on the can. Ravioli . B-E-E-F R-A-V-I-O-L-I. She drinks in the words one at a time: new words, words she hasn’t seen since she was home with Mommy and Daddy and Jim.

Peter’s asleep—well, not asleep, but they just hooked up another round of sedatives to his IV, so he’s acting weird again, half-sleeping and half-waking, muttering about different people and places through his chapped lips. His head lolls to one side, then to the other, and there’s drool coming down the side of his face, drying in a white line.

If Peter can’t help her open it, then she’ll have to do it herself. Cassie picks up the other can and shakes it; it’s a green can with a red brand name and words that read: CANNED CORN.

She wants ravioli. Cassie wants ravioli.

This time out loud, she reads it again in a whisper so she doesn’t have to wake Peter: Chef Boyardee: Beef Ravioli in Tomato And Meat Sauce. She pries at the lid of the can with her fingernails—she pries until her nails split and crack and bend and she starts banging it on the ground instead. It clinks and clinks on the concrete floor but she only manages to dent the metal and scratch the label.

Next, she gets the edge of the can in her mouth, wedging her tooth under the aluminum lip in an attempt to pry it up. Nothing—just a strain on her small mouth. She tries again, biting down harder this time, and she pulls with her hands and with her teeth— pop! A flash of pain, and like the blinding white flash of a camera, the pain’s gone as soon as it came, replaced by a rush of heat in her mouth. She cries out, clapping her hand to her lips, and there’s a little stone rolling around on her tongue.

Cassie spits it into her palm: a tooth .

She feels around in the gap—it’s just that, a gap in her mouth, and she’s suddenly so startled that she forgets to breathe. Maybe it’s the sudden smell of blood or the sound of her crying, but Peter wakes up, lifting his heavy head from their mattress-less bed to look around in a groggy panic. He’s scanning the entire room, each corner—sink, bed, toilet, door—and she doesn’t wait for him to get up. She launches herself onto the bed, climbing up to him and hugging him so tightly that he makes a gurgly, pained sound.

He finds the source quickly, mostly because she’s got her good hand clasped tightly over her mouth; “They get you?” he says, and his words are still a little slurred from the drugs. He’s checking her for more wounds, touching lightly at her arms for marks, tilting her neck to look for bruises, and searching her legs for scrapes. Even half-asleep from sedatives, he knows what to do.

He thinks this was Charlie. She shakes her head furiously, still crying, and he pries her hand away to examine the damage. A hole where her front tooth used to be—was she ever going to have a tooth there again? She cries harder, hugging Peter around the belly, and he’s talking now, sitting up against the wall. He’s rocking her and speaking in soft, gentle tones, “It’s just a tooth, it’s just a tooth…” Her sobs calm into hiccups and her hiccups into gasps—yet the whole time, Peter holds her and lets her bury her face in his bloodstained jumpsuit. “You never lost a tooth before?”

She keeps crying.

Peter’s holding her and rocking and patting her back and she feels like she’s back in her Mommy’s arms, which only makes her sadder. His arms are skinny like a skeleton’s, skinny like hers. “It’s okay… It’s normal, it happens to everybody, happens to everybody…”

It takes a while for Cassie to calm down. Losing a tooth is scary. She points him to the cans—one with yellow corn, the other with meat ravioli, and she watches his face warp into something like excitement. It’s rare she sees his face like this.

They sit on the floor: Peter sitting against the wall like always, Cassie sitting close to the bed. He turns over the cans in his hands, and he pulls each can up to his face and inhales deeply, just like she did, and smiles—he’s happy . “Ravioli,” he says, like he’s in church and he’s praising it.

He tries to open it, but he only manages to bend the metal cans. “I used to be stronger,” he says, as his smile fades.

Cassie remembers. He did use to be stronger. He could make cracks in the concrete walls and break people’s arms with one hit and stick to the ceiling to surprise their captors. But now, he didn’t have the energy to hit the wall or break bones or stick to anything.

Peter slides over to the door and slaps against it with his open palm. “Hey! We need a can opener!”

There’s some scuffling on the other side, some arguing, and some more scuffling—but after a couple of minutes, a shiny metal object slides through the food slot, followed by another can. More cans! More food! She reads it, too: Baked Beans.

Cassie watches in awe as Peter clasps the can opener in his hand—his wrists are bandaged from those metal cuffs they put him in. They’re always bandaged—he keeps opening up those wounds every time he goes for one of Charlie’s sessions. Peter twists and twists the handle until at last he pulls the opener away from the can and then pries the lid up with his fingernails.

They stare at it together—it’s a treasure trove, the most glorious thing she’s ever seen, and they’re careful not to spill it. Peter says, “Careful, the edges are sharp,” and she nods, just taking in the delicious smell.

They eat it by the handful, scooping out each piece of ravioli in turns, tracing their fingers on the inside to get the last traces of red sauce. Then Peter opens up the can of corn—they eat each yellow kernel, chewing and chewing, and take turns drinking the leftover corn-flavored juice at the bottom of the can. Then the baked beans, scooping it out with their bare hands and sucking the leftovers from beneath their fingernails.

When they’re done eating and their tummies are mostly full, they lay on the ground and play a game Peter made up called ‘When I Get Home.’

“When I get home,” says Cassie, after a moment of thought, “I’m gonna put my tooth under my pillow. So the Tooth Fairy can find it and give me a present.”

Peter hums. “Good one, Cass. Um…. When I get home, I’m gonna… I’m gonna text all my friends.”

“When I get home, I’m gonna get a dog!” says Cassie excitedly.

“Me, too,” says Peter.

“And I’m gonna let him eat whatever he wants.”

He laughs. “Me, too.”

She can almost see the dog in her head—a big one, with a slobbery pink tongue and a wet nose and a pair of soft ears. “He’s gonna be huge and chubby and bigger than me and he’s gonna protect me from all the bad guys and he won’t poop on the carpet.”

Peter laughs again; he’s got a hand on his tummy. “When I get home, I’m gonna go to the Cheesecake Factory.”

“I love the Cheesecake Factory!”

“And I’m gonna eat and eat until my stomach is so full it hurts—“

“—and then cheesecake!”

“Yes,” says Peter tiredly, with a pleasant lilt to his voice, “and then cheesecake.”

“Chocolate cheesecake!”

“Chocolate and raspberry and key lime and whatever you want, sure.”

Cassie lights up. “You mean I can come with?”

Peter finds the little girl’s hand beside him. “Of course you can come with. I wouldn’t go without you, Cass.”

“Can I have some of your cheesecake?”

“Cassie Lang,” says Peter with a smile, “you can order whatever the hell you want.”

Cassie’s grinning so hard that her face is beginning to hurt. “Chocolate?”

“Yeah. Of course.”

“Can I have pasta? Two bowls?”

“Sure, Cass. You can have two bowls.”

“Three?”

“As many bowls as you want.”

WEDNESDAY, JULY 18 — 8:59 AM

Officer Paz and Agent Woo have been waiting at the Pentagon for over an hour when Secretary Ross finally arrives.

“Sorry for the wait,” he says. His hair is nearly all white—his groomed mustache, his side-parted grays—yet his face is relatively taut for someone in his late sixties. He smiles, and the Secretary shakes both their hands in a firm grip. “Phil sent you?”

With a slight annoyance, Woo answers, “Director Coulson did, yes.”

“Good, good. Follow me, please.”

The Pentagon is full of long, tiled hallways and decorated soldiers in uniform. Julia Paz finds herself nodding politely to everyone who walks by, although most of them barely make eye contact with her.

On their way to his office, they pass a teenage girl in a violet collared dress—perhaps a secretary?—who waves them in with a nervous smile. Her nametag reads Kate.

First, Ross addresses the reason they came. “Phil mentioned something about a missing persons case?”

“That’s right.” Julia gives Ross the same spiel that she gave Coulson before: a large group of addicts went missing, many of whom are now turning up dead, with a tattoo matching the HYDRA symbol on their bodies. And, most importantly, that one of the remaining addicts had told her they were staying in a ‘dungeon’ of some kind with snake-like symbols. “…so we assumed he meant HYDRA bases.”

“Former bases,” Agent Woo chimes in.

This office is much more sterile than Phil Coulson’s—every wall is white, and his massive desk is all made of gleaming marble. “Yes,” agrees Officer Paz. “Coulson told us that only the Department of Defense had jurisdiction over former HYDRA bases.”

Ross gives a mustached smile. “Yes, ma’am, that’s true.”

There’s something slimy about the way he talks, like he’s prepared the whole conversation ahead of time. “It’s Officer,” she corrects.

“Right,” says the Secretary, although he doesn’t correct himself or apologize.

“Well,” she continues, “given the evidence we’ve collected on our case, we were wondering if we could get access to the HYDRA bases. Just to check up for our missing people.”

“Missing junkies,” adds Ross with a chuckle.

At once Julia wants to punch the mustached man; Jimmy Woo nudges his shoe against hers as though to say calm down. “Addicts are people, too, Mr. Secretary,” she says stiffly. “When they go missing, they deserve a search party as much as anyone else. If you could just take a look at these names, these faces… Maybe you recognize some of them. It would be a great help if you did.”

Officer Julia Paz pushes forth a stack of papers: mugshots of some addicts, family photos of others, and rehab ID photos for even more. Names for each of them.

Ross denies knowing each.

“What about this one?” she prompts. “Charlie Keene?” She doesn’t mention that Charlie’s her brother; with their different last names, how would Ross ever know?

“I told you, I don’t know any of these people—I don’t associate with junkies and criminals—do you know who I am?”

“Secretary Ross, sir,” she starts; her aggression’s seeping into her words, and Woo nudges her again so she’ll stop. “I’m simply asking if you’ll take a look—”

Secretary Ross clearly does not like being challenged, because he sits up straight and gives Julia and her partner a hard stare. “Unfortunately, no matter which homeless screwup you’re looking for, I can’t allow every rent-a-cop this side of the Mississippi to go through highly classified HYDRA locations.”

“Former HYDRA locations,” adds Woo for a second time.

Aggravated, Ross blinks with gritted teeth at Agent Woo. “Yes, former HYDRA locations. They’re classified, they’re dangerous—I can’t just let anyone who asks inside!”

“How can they be dangerous?” the officer presses. “They’re abandoned! If we could just get a military escort to visit each location—”

“It’s out of the question!”

“I’m not asking to open them up to the public, Mr. Secretary, I’m just asking to look inside for these missing people—”

“Missing junkies!” shouts Ross, and his rush of anger is so noticeable that Julia Paz wrinkles her nose. “What do you care about a few addicts?”

“Sir—” she tries.

The man lets out a hiss of aggravation through his nose. “Wherever they are, I’m sure they’re not up to anything good! So, Officer, I’d drop it if I were you. Because neither you nor anyone else is getting inside those bunkers.” He stands up, giving them both a hard grimace of a smile. “Thank you for coming, but I’m afraid your trip was for nothing. Good luck on your missing persons case.”

They’re escorted out by Ross’ secretary, that dark-haired girl named Kate. She leads them through each winding hallway until finally they reach the front doors. “It was a pleasure to meet you,” says Kate, and oddly, she gives them both a hug before she goes.

It’s strange, but she’s young—Julia’s seen teenagers do stranger, so she dismisses it.

They say goodbye to the secretary and head for the parking lot, where their unmarked NYPD car awaits—a blue mid-sized sedan. After shutting the car doors and buckling, Woo starts to rant about how much of an asshole Ross is, complaining about unprofessionalism and anger management issues, when Julia spots something odd.

Inside Woo’s chest pocket is a small piece of paper. It’s visibly poking out of the blue pocket, and she plucks it out, much to Jimmy Woo’s surprise. “Whoa—what the hell?”

Officer Paz waves the paper at him. She unfolds it quickly—it looks like the ripped corner of an empty form. On the blank side of the torn paper is a series of words written in a purple-ink pen. Woo leans over to read it, too.

It reads: Meet me at Wendy’s. Saturday—7pm.

There’s no signature and no name. Plus, there’s only one person who got close enough to them to slip something into Woo’s pocket: Kate , that dark-haired secretary.

But why would Ross’ secretary want to talk to them?

FRIDAY, JULY 20 — 3:14 PM

Life’s getting better for Peter and Cassie. She knows because they get to eat more now—three or four cans for every meal. Usually, Peter eats three and she eats one (or, if there’s only three, then she eats one and Peter eats two), but they taste really good.

Because he’s eating more, Peter’s healing much better, and he stops sleeping so much. He plays games with her more, and he is able to stand again as his bad leg heals, to hobble to the sink and back without Cassie’s help. They’re playing another game—Tea Party, filling the empty cans with water so they can sip royal tea out of them—when Peter hears footsteps down the hall.

Cassie’s good at listening, but not as good as Peter. The older boy freezes so abruptly that he drops his cup of “royal tea” and Cassie has to catch it so it doesn’t spill everywhere. “Iron Man,” he alerts.

Cassie wants to keep playing, but she knows what that means. Hide. Now. She takes her can with her and slides beneath the bed as far as she will go, and Peter goes, too, blocking Cassie underneath with his body.

A few seconds later—there’s the sound of the key in the lock, the metallic jingle of a key ring, and the screech of the heavy cell door against its frame.

Beck.

He’s in the doorway, closing the door behind him; in the cell light, his brown hair looks almost like copper. It’s brushed and washed and swept to the back of his head. Cassie doesn’t have a brush anymore. Or shampoo. Or conditioner. Why does he get it and she doesn’t? It’s not fair. Mommy used to do her hair in the morning before school—in braids, in pigtails, in buns—now, Cassie combs daily with her fingers and feels it fall out in bunches.

Cassie watches through the barred legs of the bed. Beck’s got a plastic bag dangling from two fingers and he holds it out to Peter like a prize pig. “Got a little present for you, Peter,” he says, in a light, sing-like tone. “You want to come out from under there?”

He sounds gentle and nice; Cassie pokes Peter in the chest. “Peter, look—” she starts.

“Cass,” says Peter, a warning.

“But he has presents—”

Peter shakes his head sharply, just once, and Cassie shuts up.

Squatting by their hiding spot, Beck shakes the bag by Peter’s head. “Come on, Petey… Don’t be a poor sport. I brought you something.” He fishes through the bag, and there’s the sound of a crinkling wrapper. “Pop-tarts. You want one?”

She swears that when the wrapper rips open that Peter’s eyes dilate to full black circles. She can feel it in her belly, too—the hunger . They’re both so hungry that a couple of pop-tarts make their mouths fill with pools of hungry saliva.

“Strawberry,” Beck says, and Cassie can smell them, too. Strawberry. “My favorite. Does little Cassie want one?”

“No,” says Peter rigidly, before Cassie can say anything. “She doesn’t.”

But Cassie does want some pop-tarts. She would do anything for some pop-tarts. “But I want—”

“Cassie,” says Peter, and his voice is like the serrated side of a steak knife. “I said no.”

Beck is smiling still. “You’re real fond of that girl, aren’t you, Petey?” He shakes the bag again— crinkle, crinkle, crinkle. “Come out here and I’ll give some to you and her.”

Cassie knows how hungry Peter is; after all, she does fall asleep to the sound of his growling stomach every night. Peter licks his chapped lips, glances at her, and says, “Stay here.”

Then he slides out from under the bed, dragging his bad leg behind him, and struggles into a standing position—Beck stands with him. With the bed in her way, she can only see the bottom half of their bodies now.

They’re talking—whispering, really—hushed enough that Cassie can’t make any of it out. She watches as Beck’s shoes come closer and closer to Peter’s bare feet, Peter standing heavily to one side so as not to lean on his broken leg.

Beck’s hand and the bag move closer; when Peter’s grimy hand reaches for it, the brown-haired man snatches it back before he can touch it. “What do you say, Petey?”

Peter stands completely still for a second. His legs don’t move, not even the messed-up one. He doesn’t say a word.

She can’t see their faces, but she can see Beck take another step towards Peter, so now their feet are nearly touching; Beck’s shoe scuffs against Peter’s toe, and he jerks his foot back so fast that he trips and falls backward onto the bed with a yelp.

Now Peter’s above her on the bed, shifting over the concrete bed frame.

Above her, Cassie can hear Peter’s breathing—too fast, way too fast—as Beck moves even closer, legs between Peter’s, bending over him. She can’t say Beck’s hands, but it sounds like a struggle—like the scuffle of arms against arms and legs against legs—until finally they both stop moving.

There’s a whimper, and it’s followed by a stretch of silence so loud that Cassie holds her breath.

“I said, ‘What do you say? ” repeats Beck, deathly quiet.

Peter’s voice is high-pitched and coarse. “Thank you,” he says. Peter always sounds so weird whenever Beck comes—maybe because he’s not used to people being nice to him, or maybe because he doesn’t like Beck very much. Peter didn’t like Ava very much, either—he doesn’t like any of them, not even the nice girl Riri.

“You’re welcome,” Beck says, sounding pleased, and then he lets go of the plastic bag.

In only seconds, he’s gone, and Peter slides onto the floor and he starts shaking. She’s seen him do this many times—curl into a ball on the floor making shudders, suffocated noises until he’s calm—but this time feels different.

Peter doesn’t cry. He doesn’t hug himself, either. His arms hover above his calves and his legs are slightly parted—both his knees and his feet separated—like he doesn’t want his body parts to touch. He looks weird, and his eyes look even stranger—his gaze is entirely blank, like if Cassie waved her hand in front of his eyes he wouldn’t see her. His hair sticks to his forehead; she calls out, “Peter?”

It’s in moments like this that Cassie remembers people aren’t supposed to look the way Peter does all the time: skinny as a Halloween skeleton, mottled by a rainbow of bruises, bandaged around his wrists, exhausted by each coming day, paled by the lack of sun, stitched in every limb, and scarred in white lines and dark spots and knife-marks beneath his chin.

There isn’t a part of him unscathed.

Peter doesn't respond to her calling his name; his eyes are locked on a spot on the wall. When she twists her head to look at it, she can’t find anything. What’s he looking at? “Peter?” she says again. He hasn’t told her it’s okay to come out yet. Is it safe? Maybe it’s not safe. Maybe that’s why Peter’s so quiet. She whispers his name this time: “Peter?” The door is closed, and there are no footsteps—so they’re safe, aren’t they?

Peter has fallen onto his side now, and his knees are drawn towards him.

The plastic bag is closest to Cassie—it’s half-spilled where Beck dropped it. There’s the open pop-tart! It’s a bright blue wrapper and inside—oh, that smell. It’s strawberry and frosting and pastry and sprinkles, and the first bite is like a mouthful of liquid paradise. The pop-tart is so sweet that it hurts her teeth, but she keeps eating, biting into the blissfully red insides. She catches any fallen crumbs in her hands so she can eat them from her palms.

When she’s done, Cassie licks the wrapper clean and bites at her fingernails for any semblance of sweetness that remains.

There’s more in the bag, too: four more packages of pop-tarts—each with two strawberry tarts inside—and a bottle with a hand-pump dispenser, like for shampoo or lotion or hand sanitizer. She pulls it out of the bag; inside sloshes a purple fluid. Sweet Lavender Body Wash , the bottle reads.

Why's Peter acting so weird over a bottle of soap?

It takes hours for Peter to pull himself out of his weird trance; by the time he lifts his head, Cassie’s still under the bed. She’s eaten all the pop-tarts but has left the soap alone. She doesn’t like the smell.

Her tummy is full—pleasantly, painfully full—from all the pop-tarts. She could probably eat a hundred more if Beck gave them to her. She hopes he comes in tomorrow with more.

SATURDAY, JULY 21 — 7:08 PM

They go to several Wendy’s closest to the Pentagon; inside the third restaurant, they find the young secretary engrossed in her phone, dressed in an NYU sweatshirt and high-waisted jeans. Kate , Woo remembers. He’s spent enough time with teenagers to know that she’s not doing anything in particular on her phone—the girl’s just trying to look busy.

Woo orders a couple of meals at the front; Paz slides into the booth across from the girl, who’s currently gnawing her bottom lip into a mess of blood and skin. “Hey,” she says, like they’re meeting for a chat and not to discuss one of the most powerful men in America. “You got my message.”

Julia nods, setting her bag down beside her. “I’m Officer Julia Paz. Up there” —she gestures generally to Jimmy Woo, who’s still waiting for their food— “is my partner Agent Woo.”

The girl gives a nervous nod. “I’m Kate. Kate Bishop. I’m sorry about the location, I—I wanted somewhere public, but… ” There’s a sudden flush to her cheeks. “I wrote it, like, so last-minute… I literally didn’t have time to think of anything good.”

“That’s okay,” says Julia. “I’m glad you came to us at all.” She addresses some of the more important business—identifying Kate, setting up a tape recorder, and signing immunity from testimony forms—before they question her. When they’re done and Woo has returned with the food, Officer Paz asks, “Is there something you wanted to tell us?” She and Jimmy Woo had discussed how they were going to address this—Kate hadn’t given any cue on what she was going to tell them, so they planned to ask only open-ended questions.

The girl digs her hands into the pocket of her sweatshirt. She’s got food in front of her: some half-eaten bacon fries and a frosty. “I think I’ve got some information that might help you with your…missing persons thing.”

“Okay,” says Julia, settling deeper into the booth.

The young secretary shakes her head slightly, like she’s telling herself to stop. “But I’m only supposed to do this job for, like, a semester and a half, and I don’t wanna get caught up in anything shady. I figured—you guys are police, right? Maybe you could do something about it.”

Agent Woo: “Do something about what?”

“The thing is,” Kate continues, “I think… I think my boss has been up to, like, some really shady sh*t the past few months.”

Officer Paz prompts, “Why’s that?”

The girl grimaces, and she looks around, like she expects Ross to pop in through one of the Wendy’s windows. “I don’t know—like, everything. He has me calling people I’ve never heard of, but he doesn’t let me talk to them… He’s getting, like, a ton of anonymous packages all marked” —she puts the next couple words in air quotes— “‘Project Manticore.’ And, like…” She swallows. “And this is why I’m telling you guys, it's like… I heard him getting pissed at the news. The news. And like, I mean, that’s totally normal for old guys in politics, but he’s not getting mad at, like, CNN or FOX or whatever else. He’s getting mad at, like, local news. People dying. People overdosing. Like, the most random things. For the first time at like that girl who died—Amy Starr? The fugitive?”

“Ava,” corrects Julia gently.

“Yeah, her. And then at like those guys who crashed at the campground in New Hampshire—he just starts screaming and cursing, like it affected him personally.” She shakes her head. “I know that’s not a lot to go on, I’m just… He’s mentioned some people, too.”

Agent Woo scribbles in his notepad before asking, “What people?”

“I’m not sure…” the girl starts, stirring her frosty with a plastic straw. “I don’t think I’m supposed to be telling you this, but he’s said that guy’s name a lot. The guy he said he didn’t know. The guy you’re looking for.” She looks straight at Julia when she says it. “Charlie. Charlie Keene.”

Julia and Jimmy exchange looks. “How much?”

“I don’t know—um… Once a week, at least.”

She’s only a college student doing a summer job, yet somehow Kate Bishop has been their most valuable asset thus far. “What are some of these other names?”

Kate shrugs; her hair is tied back in a single braid, which shifts over her shoulder as she moves. “It's never anything useful. Parker. Lang. Nick. All, like, super common names. I could make you a list, if you want.”

Lang , thinks Julia. How funny. That’s the last name of little Cassie’s dad. It’s the back half of Cassie’s last name: Cassandra Marie Paxton-Lang. Julia tries not to mix up the different cases she’s working on, so she dashed the thought. “Did you hear any full names?” asks Agent Woo.

Kate shakes her head. She’s got a backpack too, and from it she pulls out a stack of crumpled papers. “But I’ve been keeping track of a few other things—because, I don't know, I guess my generation doesn’t trust anyone in power” —the girl laughs to herself— “but, like, I thought maybe I could use it against him. If anything ever came out about him doing something.”

“Thank you, Kate,” says Agent Woo. “That’s very helpful.”

Julia’s still hung up on the girl’s previous statement. “What do you mean—about him doing something?” she presses.

“I don’t know,” the young secretary responds. “I figured you could tell me.”

The law enforcement pair keep inquiring about what she knows—names, places, conversations—but she’s hesitant to tell-all in such a public place. When they finally get to the topic of the HYDRA bunkers, Kate shakes her head. “I’ve never been,” she says. “I’ve never even seen a map of those places. I don’t get access to that kind of information.”

“Do you know someone who might?”

“Maybe,” she says. “I mean, if you can’t get it from Secretary Ross, then… You could always try people who were there before him. There’s a lot of those guys on government watch.”

Before? “What do you mean, before?”

The girl shrugs again. Her frosty’s finished now, and Kate pushes the empty cup away. “HYDRA guys who got pardoned for turning in their bosses. People who were held captive and, like, tortured in their bunkers. There’s still a ton of them out there.”

“Do you think you could get some of that information for us?”

For the first time this evening, Kate Bishop gives a mischievous smile. “I think I could.”

MONDAY, JULY 23 — 3:49 AM

Peter’s dreams are sticky and colloidal, a pool of quicksand that clings to his ankles and drags him down.

He dreams of Skip. He dreams he’s a kid again and Skip’s sitting next to him in the library with gelled hair and a hand brushing against his knee. “ Hey, ” he says, in that sickly sweet voice. “ Haven’t I seen you around here before?”

He’s holding a book and he’s trapped between the aisles and he’s only eight years old. He’s too small to understand and he’s too shy to do anything other than shrug.

My name’s Steven,” says the older boy, “ but you can call me Skip .”

The boy is faceless with white-blonde hair and Peter is eight years old. He’s eight years old and he’s in his bedroom. His palms are small and his fingers are smaller and Skip’s got his large hand pressed against his bare stomach and there’s a movie playing in front of him but his vision’s gone blurry and sideways and he can’t tell what it is. “ Bet you’ve never seen pictures like those in a textbook.”

He’s eight years old and he’s naked and he’s laying on his stomach but he can’t remember why. There are spots of blood on his Star Wars sheets and his teddy bear is on the floor.

He looks around and his clothes—he’s in a black prisoner’s uniform, and his legs are long and grimy and scarred. He looks up and it’s Beck standing in his bedroom—with his brown hair and his white teeth, but his face… His face is blurry. He’s faceless. He opens his mouth, and he says with a smile, “ Come on, Einstein, let’s conduct a little experiment of our own!”

And he’s backing up against the wall but he can’t move—he’s trapped—he’s in the Chair and Charlie’s grinning above him with a hammer in one hand, and he can’t move

—he wakes up with a choked gasp, and he’s in bed next to Cassie. She’s still asleep. Her breath comes in raspy wheezes; she always sounds like that now.

He’s still breathing so hard he’s practically hyperventilating—still feeling a phantom hand around his wrist and a coil of dread in his chest—so he gets up, moving carefully around the little girl.

He limps to the sink; his knee is still f*cked. It hasn’t been the same since Charlie hit it with that hammer. The doctor keeps fixing it up when he can, but according to him, ‘there’s only so much he can do for shattered bone.’

He rinses his hands and rubs his face until the dream starts to fade. Beside the sink is a bottle, a hand-pump bottle of lavender soap.

He can still smell Beck’s smoker breath and what he said while Cassie hid. Clean yourself up , he said, quiet enough that Cassie couldn’t hear, tapping the crinkly bag with his hand, and I’ll bring you more.

More food? he asked, and he hated that he sounded like he was begging.

Beck smiled. More food, more anything.

Peter lathers up a handful of the soap and washes his hands first, then his arms, then his neck and upper chest.

Peter’s not stupid; he knows what this means. He sees the way that Beck stares, with dark, hungry eyes. He knows what Beck wants. He just hopes that the soap will be enough until they can find a way out of here.

He does his feet next, his ankles and calves, and when he’s rolling up his pants to do his knees, he hears, “Peter?”

Cassie’s awake.

They always sleep like that—in the same place—so Cassie’s not used to being alone. Maybe that’s why she woke up. He looks over at the girl, and she’s rubbing her eyes and blinking at him. “Hey, Stinger.”

She’s still lying down, just twisting her neck to see him at the sink. “Peter, what are you doing?”

“Go back to bed, Cass.”

“Okay,” she says. But, of course, she doesn’t move or close her eyes or go back to bed. She’s seven and confused, so she keeps staring at him. “That’s the stuff Mr. Beck gave you.”

For some reason, it infuriates him that she calls him that. “Yeah,” he says.

“It smells weird.”

“Yeah, well, some people think it’s nice.”

He hears her sniff, and then cough, and then sniff again. “I don't think it’s nice.”

Peter really has no qualms about lavender. Not until today, he supposes. He keeps lathering up and washing, ignoring the girl in hopes she’ll forget about it and fall asleep.

Just when he thinks Cassie might’ve gone back to sleep, he hears a raspy little voice: “Can I try?“

They don’t get a lot of opportunities to try new things— or , thinks Peter, old things that they’ve long since forgotten. That must be why Cassie's so intrigued by the soap. “No,” he says.

“Why?”

Peter sighs. “Because it’s not for you.”

“But why?”

“Because Beck said so.”

“But why?”

“Cassie…” Peter sighs. Peter’s tired. Peter’s so f*cking tired. He doesn’t want to explain this to Cassie; he doesn’t want to go to sleep smelling like sweet lavender . Finally, he says tiredly, “Cass, I don't want to talk about this anymore. Go back to sleep.”

“Okay,” she says, and she lasts barely a minute or two before he hears: “Peter?”

“Yes?”

“I can't sleep.”

“All right,” he says, as he washes the excess soap off. “I’m coming back.”

Notes:

yes i'm changing my username, don't be surprised if it changes again next week lol, i'm trying to find something good.

also i'm writing another rando character, who wants to be an old lady in the woods (👀👀👀), i'll need a first name, personality maybe, some physical traits too?

Chapter 15: all the things i've seen

Summary:

When she turns around, she sees Peter: he’s on his hands and knees over the half-remains of that brown book, crying. “Oh, God—” he manages, and he falls into a weird sitting position, kind of leaned up against the bed-railing. “Oh, God, oh, God.”

Notes:

what's up guys, sorry about no chap last week, i was moving in to school. now i've set up shop and i've got a chapter a little early for you guys. as a sorry for last week. i finished writing it and was like hell yeah i'll just post it now.

title is from the song 'leaving' by sidewalks and skeletons

some major CWs this chap, so fair warning. srsly skip the whole thing if ur not up for it.

CW: implied mentions of CSA, beck being a perv, f*cky consent stuff, non-penetrative sexual assault, non-explicit sexual assault, violence against a minor, references to torture/violence

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

FRIDAY, JULY 27 — 7:20PM

Tony can’t help the tears streaming down his face. “Wait,” he gasps into the phone. “ Wait .”

On the television, Peter is shaking. Charlie’s got the muzzle of a gun pressed to his chin and he’s crying. “Tell him, Parker,” he snaps.

His kid is sobbing, and blood slides from Peter’s nose into his mouth. “You have to,” he sobs, “You have to finish the—have to finish—”

Charlie slams the gun against his head and the kid goes limp; the addict turns and faces the camera. “You getting used to this, Stark? You like watching your kid bleed?”

“No,” Tony chokes out. “No, of course not—“

“THEN WHY ARENT YOU f*ckING FINISHED YET??”

“I’m trying,” he cries, “I'm trying, I’m doing my best, what you want isn’t easy, I’m so close—“

“—THEN FINISH ALREADY!”

“I'm trying, I'm working as fast as I can!”

“I'm sending Riri for your next prototype in two days. TWO DAYS, YOU HEAR ME?? AND IT BETTER WORK!”

Tony’s nodding like a bobblehead, the whole time his eyes trained on the unconscious Peter, who’s starting to stir awake. “Yes, yes, of course, this one’ll—it’ll be much better—”

At Charlie’s command, a man beside Peter socks him in the chest; Peter doubles over in the chair.

FRIDAY, JULY 27 — 9:44 PM

His injuries aren’t bad today: a gash in his forehead, scattered bruises over his torso, a quickly-darkening black eye, and another break in his crooked nose. The head’s the worst part—it still rings, and he has trouble understanding Cassie when she talks to him, asking if he’s okay. “I’m good,” he says, before swaying and falling into the wall. His lip’s bleeding, too—when did that happen?

The little girl helps him onto their concrete slab of a bed, letting him lean on her for support as he staggers a couple feet and collapses onto the bed. He’s scrubbed clean, the laceration in his forehead stitched up nicely by the doctor, the bruises smeared with ointment, but it doesn’t change the fact that he still hurts. “Anyone come in here while I was gone?” he asks.

“Nobody,” she says.

Peter nods—and immediately regrets the motion, because it forces a wave of nausea through his stomach that drags up into his throat. “Good.”

That only remains true for another few minutes before they hear footsteps coming to their door. The footsteps are light and confident—Beck’s—and immediately followed by a man’s light humming. “Iron Man,” says Peter sharply, and he struggles to push himself off the bed.

Instead of going under the bed like he just told her to, Cassie looks at him, a smile creeping onto her face. “Is that Mr. Beck?” she asks, perking up.

There’s a sudden twist in Peter’s gut, like the twist of a serrated knife. “Get under the bed,” he snaps, sounding more like a soldier than a companion, and she scampers beneath the bed to her usual spot.

Peter can’t gather the energy to push himself off the bed; he imagines the impact of falling, the pain that will surely reverberate through his body once he hits the ground, and can’t make himself move. He grabs the bed-railing and barely starts to push himself to the ground when there’s the sound of a key in their cell door.

When the door opens, it’s Quentin Beck. He’s dressed in a Cornell sweatshirt and a pair of loose jeans, and his hands are dirty—maybe from working on the weapon. He smiles. “Peter Parker,” he says, and Peter feels his whole body freeze up. He feels suddenly gray and wan, like an age-faded painting or an overwound rubber band or a book left out in the rain.

Beck closes the space between them in seconds; Peter scrambles back, but Beck gets a hand on his leg and squeezes his knee with a vice-grip, five fingers strong enough around his broken kneecap that Peter cries out in pain. There’s hands on him, and he gasps, a primitive noise—

Peter finds himself flat on his back, and a familiar panic floods him like a bucket of ice water. There’s a weight on top of him—a man’s knees pinning his thighs to the bed, a man’s hand pinning both his wrists above his head, a man’s sturdy torso leaned above him. At once, he forgets where he is, and he feels like something vivisected: a fly or a frog or a fetal pig pinned to an aluminum tray. “Wait, wait, wait—”

Beck’s kneeling on him.

The panic tangles around him like a bloodstained bedsheet; Peter thrashes, trying to twist away from Beck, but his knees and calves drive a massive pressure on Peter’s thighs, too heavy to throw off; the man only thrusts his hand into Peter’s chin until he’s got his whole chin grasped tightly in his thick fingers.

Peter can’t move . He’s helpless, left to heave each breath through fear-speckled lungs; Beck’s knees are on his thighs. Beck’s knees are on his thighs . He tries to say something, but the man’s fingers pinch the skin of his chin and he loses all ability to speak.

Beck’s fingers are on his face now, pressing and caressing, prodding at each bone and each freckle, spreading each fingertip over the bruised skin of his face like he’s searching for the perfect peach in the fruit aisle. The man laughs—something dark and lusty—and Peter’s legs go prickly and numb. “ God , you’re so f*cking—“ There’s a noise from the back of his throat. He leans forward, pressing Peter’s chin up to bare his throat, and inhales deeply at Peter’s neck, the heat of his breath thick with cigarette smoke as he exhales. “How old are you? Fifteen? Sixteen?”

Peter's mind becomes something blank and poreless. He keeps thinking: eight, eight, eight. I'm eight years old.

Fingers slip down to his throat; thumbs press into his windpipe; sweat-soaked horror alights in his chest. “I said,” repeats Beck, “how old are you?”

“Seventeen,” says Peter, and his voice sounds half a world away.

“Hm,” says the man, and he smells like sweat. “Thought you were jailbait with that face…” Dipping his face into the crook of Peter’s neck, he takes another deep inhale. “And you smell f*cking delicious . Did you wash like I told you to?”

Above him, Beck suddenly looks ten sizes too big, and Peter feels ten sizes too small; he’s Alice in Wonderland, and Beck’s face is all he can see. Espresso-brown eyes. Bearded chin. Tawny hair. White teeth.

“Say yes, Peter.”

“Yes,” he says.

“Everywhere?”

Peter’s face goes slack.

Beck laughs again. “No harm in being clean, hm, Petey?” He keeps touching and touching: his face, his hair, his neck. Peter feels ghastly; he feels see-through. Like the hand on him isn’t Beck’s. Like this room is floating through space instead of rooted underground. “I should tell Keene to leave your face,” he says with that dark-brown gaze. “Don’t get me wrong, I like my meat a little rare, a little tender, but—you’ve got that sweet face . Hate to see it all marked up like this.” He traces the scars on Peter's face with his thumb: a knife that stabbed through the flesh of his cheek, a ring that split his lip with a punch, a steel-toed boot that caught the side of his head, a blowtorch that melted his mess of an ear.

It takes Peter too f*cking long to realize that the man’s thumb has undone the top button of his jumpsuit, exposing a peek of his collarbone. “You’re a good boy, Petey,” he says lowly. “So I brought you something.” He nods back towards the door; there, another bag sits. It’s a white plastic grocery bag—maybe from a gas station or a minimart. It reads in bright red lettering: THANK YOU.

His stomach growls.

“Ah, ah, ah,” Beck says, waggling his forefinger like a kindergarten teacher. “I’m not Santa Claus, am I?” He glances down towards Cassie, to her hiding spot under the bed, and he gives a little smile. Peter wants to peel the skin off his eyes for even looking at her. “I gave you something yesterday, didn’t I? Now, you gotta give me something. That’s the way the world works: you give and you get, right?”

Peter’s grinding his teeth. He says, through his teeth, “I don't have anything to give you.”

Beck smiles. “Of course you do.” His teeth are very, very white.

Peter hears the words before the man says them: Give me a kiss .

No, he thinks, but he doesn’t say it. No, no, no, no

“Come on, sweetheart,” he says. “I don’t bite.”

“I don’t—” he starts, but his chest feels like it’s filling with liquid nitrogen, unbearably cold. “I don’t…”

A dark laugh. “Is that a no?” Beck laughs again, and his knees press, heavy, into Peter’s thighs. “Who are you to say no to me, Petey Parker? Hm?”

His heartbeat pulses in his ears—Beck’s fingernail digs into his jaw, enough for a slight pinch.

“What are your options here, hm? Who you gonna f*ck? Sweet little Riri? Charlie? I’m your best option and you f*cking know it. Kiss me.”

Peter shakes his head, but Beck squeezes hard, his thick hand forcing his skull down into the concrete bed until he stops moving.

“Say okay, Peter,” he says, with a hot breath in his ear, “Say it.”

FRIDAY, JULY 27 — 9:56 PM

Riri laces up her pink Converse.

She’s got to go on another supplies run. She’ll drive alone—most of the others are too high to chaperone. She’ll go to the local food pantry first to stock up on canned goods, then to the post office to pick up any of Secretary Ross’ packages—mostly chemicals and weapons parts that Stark needs—and then at last to Stark’s lab to drop off the items.

Peter Parker’s been doing better with the new food supplies. He’s definitely started healing faster, but for some reason he doesn’t act like he’s improving. He’ll go completely silent during torture—he’ll flinch at nothing. According to the good doctor, Parker occasionally refuses treatment, screaming at the doc not to touch him.

On the other hand, Cassie hasn’t improved much. She still coughs in her sleep and sleeps all the time. Riri supposes that malnutrition can’t be cured overnight.

Picking up her backpack, Riri strides down the hallway, where she finds—for the umpteenth time—that the door to the kids’ cell is unlocked. f*cking Beck. She can hear him talking in that low voice. He sounds “...want the food or don’t you? Say it. Say okay.”

“That—I don’t—that wasn’t—” His voice edges up suddenly into a crazed whine. “ W-wait, wait, please —”

Pulling out her pistol, she nudges at the door with her shoe, and when it opens, she finds the brown-haired man on top of Peter on the bed—as well as Cassie beneath the bed, eyes squeezed shut and hands over her ears. His teeth are bared and his eyes are dark and the muscles in his arms are flexed—everything about him screams predator . He’s got one hand pinning down Peter’s arms, and the other—Beck’s got half his arm down the unbuttoned front of Peter’s jumpsuit. Far enough to be touching him.

That expression written all over Peter’s face—that freaked-out, paralysed, deer-in-headlights, bear-in-a-trap look—is so familiar. He usually only looks like that when he’s in the Chair. “Beck!” she barks, and the brown-haired man jumps up like a kid caught with his hand in the cookie jar. “We’re not supposed to be in here.”

Sheepish, the man hops down from the bed and wipes his hands on his jeans. “My bad,” he says, and he fixes the sleeves of his sweatshirt like his hand wasn’t just in Peter’s pants. He strides past her through the doorway, and Riri just stands there, still. Now that the man’s gone, Peter clutching the open buttons of his jumpsuit closed with his bone-thin fingers, shaking lightly as though he’s cold, gulping great, heaving breaths into his bruise-spattered chest.

Riri doesn’t know what to say. She doesn’t want to think it. “Is he…”

“Is he what ?” snaps Peter, bitterly.

The moment spoils between them, unpleasantly sour. “Nevermind,” she says, squeaking her converse against their concrete floor. She puts her pistol back into the waistband of her jeans.“I’m, um. I’m going to the food pantry, and then to Stark’s. Is there anything you, uh, want?”

The sound of Cassie coughing beneath the bed. Peter is still rooted in his spot like a marble statue, legs together, arms wrapped around himself. He looks up, finally, to meet her eyes, and he scans her face. Riri finds it almost funny—they both have the same crook to their nose, both from Charlie’s fist. “What?” he says. His voice is echoey and weird, like a ghost.

“Like,” she echoes, “to eat?”

The battered boy only stares at her.

“Only canned stuff—but I’ll look for it, if you want.” Feeling the heat of his continued stare, she ducks, staring at the ground. “Nevermind,” she says again.

As she turns to leave, she hears suddenly: “Pumpkin.”

She turns back around, her dirty Converse squeaking against the floor. “Like, chopped up?”

Peter shakes his head slightly, winding the top half of his jumpsuit tighter around himself. “Like for pie,” he says quietly.

“Oh,” she says. She remembers those orange cans from when she was little with her brother: mixing sugar and cinnamon and ginger in a bowl, beating the eggs, dumping in the deliciously orange pumpkin, stirring in cans of evaporated milk, spilling it all over the pie shell… “Okay. Yeah, sure.”

As she leaves, she hears them: some shuffling and then the kids are whispering. A shaky voice: “No, Cass, stay there.”

“But he brought—”

“Stay. There.”

FRIDAY, JULY 27 — 11:38 PM

Happy enters her house late Friday night waving a literal video cassette in his hand. “I did it,” he says. “No Internet, no paper trail, no tech trail. Bribed the camera-people with Superbowl tickets—and voila!”

He puts in the cassette to the TV—Tony always left it hooked up to their television, even though the rest of their house was usually so high-tech—and the video plays. It’s a simple one: a grainy black-and-white image of an empty suburban road. It’s windy, and the onscreen trees rustle with each breeze. There’s no sound.

“They said the collision happened around 7:42PM,” says Happy. He points at the screen: a digital clock reading 7:36PM.

Empty road. A couple cars pass, and then a few more, and then the road is empty again. 7:37. 7:38. 7:39. A few cars pass. 7:40. 7:41.

Finally: 7:42 PM.

Beside her, Happy winces as a truck barrels from across empty grass to collide with the Parkers’ faded-blue sedan so hard that the car flips over, rolling over asphalt until it comes to a shattered halt on the grassy roadside. A fleeting thought: he’s dead . With that kind of crash, it’s no wonder May Parker was left in such a horrific state.

There’s a swarm of dark-clothed men from the truck, all completely unharmed from the crash, and they pull the passenger from his upside-down seat. He starts fighting immediately, punching and kicking and whirling. Pepper feels a sudden swell of pride for the kid. It’s definitely him. He doesn’t have his web shooters, but he’s still fighting like Spiderman, flipping and twisting between his attackers like a true superhero.

The fight is quick; in only a few moments, Peter is down, dragged limp back to the truck before they drive off.

By the time the truck vanishes from the screen, the clock only reads 7:53 PM. Peter Parker’s entire kidnapping only took eleven minutes. Eleven minutes. Eleven minutes and the rest of his junior year went down the drain. How could she not have noticed? All of this—the day before Tony locked himself into his lab. How could she have been so blind.

Happy clears his throat. He’s paused the video. “They found May in the car a little after ten. I was wondering how they didn’t know it was her, but see” —he taps the screen with the empty street— “the car wasn’t registered to May or Peter.”

Pepper blinks. “That’s their car, though.” That beat-up ‘98 Volkswagen Jetta has been Peter’s ride for as long as she’s known him.

Happy shakes his head. “That license plate isn’t registered to the Parkers. It’s registered to the kid’s mom.”

Pepper doesn’t even remember the woman’s name. She knows that the Peter’s parents died in a plane crash when he was just six years old, but she’s never heard the kid talk about it.

“And not after she got married—she got it before, so it’s registered to the name Mary Fitzpatrick.”

With a name detached from both Peter Parker and May Parker, it makes sense that no one would know that the car that crashed belonged to the Parkers. “They knew,” says Pepper suddenly. “They must’ve known that the car wouldn’t be traced back to Peter and May.”

“Because if the world found out they’d kidnapped Peter Parker…” starts Happy.

“...then the world would know why Tony locked himself in his lab,” finishes Pepper. Everyone knew that Peter Parker was Tony Stark’s intern. It was how they kept the whole Spider-man thing under wraps. Tony’s life was so much in the public eye that there was no other way to disguise why the kid was at Stark Industries all the time. “Makes sense. Did you look up the truck, too?”

Happy shook his head. “No plates, front or back, that the video could catch. I tried to follow them on nearby red light cameras but…” He shrugs helplessly. “It’s a Ford Ranger—way too common—and they must’ve added plates somewhere nearby. I’ve got no clue where they went.”

Damn it. How are they supposed to find this kid if they can’t even find where he went? He could be outside the city—outside the state—outside the country for all they know.

“But… I did find what you asked me for.” He rifles through his pants pocket and pulls out a flash drive. “It’s JARVIS—Tony’s code from 2015, right before we sold the Tower. It’s never even seen this place before.”

They plug in Jarvis to Happy’s laptop first. Almost right say, a black-and-blue interface emerges onto the screen, asking for a series of security questions. Happy squints at the screen. “Mother’s maiden name? First pet? Best sandwich?”

Pepper slides the laptop to her side of the table. “I’ve got it.” It’s a series of questions so long that it feels more like a standardized test than a set of passwords, but they’re all questions about Tony. Questions, obviously, that she knows the answers to. “Done,” she says, as JARVIS crackles to life.

His familiar British tone emerges over the computer’s tinny speakers. “User recognized: Welcome, Anthony Edward Stark.” Onscreen, there are no buttons or key-shortcuts, only a blank black screen with a neon blue line transmitting the audio frequency of JARVIS’ voice. The little camera indicator at the top of Happy’s laptop blinks green. “Scanning users. Welcome, Virginia Elizabeth Potts. Welcome, Harold Joseph Hogan.”

“Elizabeth?” echoes Happy. “I thought it was—“

“Pepper’s just a nickname,” she explains quickly. “Tony gave it to me, actually. The day we met.”

“Oh,” he says. “I feel like I should've known that.”

Pepper shrugs half-heartedly, JARVIS speaks again. “Location: unidentified address near Verona Beach, New York. Systems limited to one 2015 MacBook Pro. How can I help?”

“We need you to hack into Tony’s lab,” she says. “Undetected. Could you do that?”

“Of course, Ms. Potts.”

SATURDAY, JULY 28 — 4:51 AM

Peter wakes to a low voice in their cell.

“...looked up at the sky, and a huge motorcycle fell out of the air and landed on the road in front of them. If the motorcycle was huge, it was nothing to the man sitting astride it. He was almost twice as tall as a normal man and at least five times as wide…”

Something’s wrong. Something’s wrong . He takes a breath, and dread like a rattlesnake coils around his chest. It smells like cigarette smoke .

Peter’s eyes fly open; he flies up into a sitting position, turns his head and finds, settled by the wall: Quentin Beck.

The mere sight of him makes Peter’s whole body go cold.

Peter’s wide awake now.

Beck’s holding a book open in one hand and has his other on Cassie’s shoulder. Cassie’s leaning against him as he reads, cheek pressed against his arm, perfectly content. “…Dumbledore and Professor McGonagall bent forward over the bundle of blankets. Inside, just visible, was a baby boy, fast asleep. Under a tuft of jet-black hair over his forehead they could see a curiously shaped cut, like a bolt of lightning…”

Peter feels like he’s going to pass out—every bit of air has been vacuumed clean from him, like he’s been shrink-wrapped like a college duvet or air-dried like a preserved flower. He can’t find the words, every drop of blood is sucked clean of him in that moment, because he goes so still that his vision goes spotty and white. He tries saying her name, but it just comes out as a mumble. A barely-there puff of air.

As if on cue, Beck looks up at him mid-sentence and smiles. “Oh, Peter,” he says with a sickly sweet tone, “you’re finally up!” Folding over the page with a smooth, diagonal crease, he dog-ears the page he’s holding but doesn’t shut the book. His hands are white and clean, and there’s hair on his knuckles. “What a pleasant surprise! I was just reading with little Miss Cassie here.”

Peter can’t move. He can’t talk. He can’t breathe . Frozen, he just sits on the bed, mouth opening and closing like a fish out of water. All the while, Cassie leans against Beck’s arm like he’s her dad, completely oblivious to the high-pitched whine in Peter’s ears, the coppery blood pumping in Peter’s face, the trembly weakness in his thighs.

Beck looks at Peter and gives him a nearly imperceptible smirk. “She does make such great company,” the brown-haired man says, “don’t you think?”

Peter feels faint. Like he’s strung up by his ankles and all the blood is rushing to his head. He tries, again, to warn her but he can’t make the words come out. He just keeps seeing the ceiling of his childhood bedroom—the stipple ceiling and the glow-in-the-dark planets—swim before his eyes.

Cassie turns her face into Beck’s arm, her oily hair tickling his forearm, and says, “Can we keep reading, Mr. Beck?”

He’s too close to her. His hands— where the f*ck are his hands— squeeze the book shut and tap the cover with his fingernails. “Of course, sweetheart. But first, you want your present, don’t you? For being such a good girl?”

Peter’s gonna throw up. Good boy , he hears, in a nauseating vocal meld of Skip’s and Beck’s. Phantom sensation on his thigh—like fingers, like thumbs—and he flinches, looking down to find nothing but cloth on his leg.

“Yes!” says Cassie with a beaming face. “More pop-tarts!”

“That’s right,” says Beck, fishing through his plastic grocery bag. “Here you go, sweetheart.”

Cassie looks so happy . She tears into the pop-tart like a wild animal, smashing the whole thing into her mouth in one gok, then the next one, cupping her hands over her mouth to catch any crumbs. When she’s done, she licks her hands clean and then the wrapper, too.

“Cassie,” he manages, in a throaty whisper, and Beck gives him such a cold stare that he loses his voice completely.

“Peter, look!” she says. “He brought you one, too!”

Peter can’t feel his face.

Beck stands, then, handing Cassie the book. She happily opens it, flipping to the page they left off on, and starts to read again. The brown-haired man moves towards him and all of a sudden Peter can feel his hands on him, those thick fingers snaking into his pants, gripping him so tight it hurt, those fingers, those fingers on him

Beck’s face-to-face with him, standing above him. He tilts his head, and his gaze is like an electrolaser. “Peter,” he says, “you still owe me something, don’t you?”

No. No, no, no, no.

“Stand up,” the man says.

Peter finds himself on his feet; there’s a sweaty hand on the back of his neck.

“Now, I don’t want her,” he says. “I want you. But refuse me again, and I’ll make do with her, you understand me?”

Peter’s blood has turned to some kind of noxious sludge.

“Say yes, Peter.”

His voice comes out in a petrified gasp: “Yes.”

“So the next time,” the man continues, in a voice like a smoking gun, “that I ask you for something, you’re gonna give it to me, understand?”

The hand on his neck gets tighter. Four fingers curling around his windpipe and a thumb pressing into the base of his skull. “Say yes,” says Beck, low and firm.

“Yes,” he chokes out.

“Good,” he says. “Now, let’s try this again, Petey. Give me a kiss.”

Peter does it.

Beck licks his lips. “Eh. Try again. I wanna really feel it.”

He does it again.

Beck smiles and smiles. “Good boy,” he says, and he tosses the pop-tart onto the bed. He smiles at Cassie as he goes, giving her a pat on the head, and she beams.

Peter can’t move.

“See you around, Petey.”

SATURDAY, JULY 28 — 5:06 AM

When Mr. Beck leaves, Peter sits in front of the door with his ear pressed to the vibranium fixings. He sits and he sits and he sits. Whenever Cassie tries to say something, he shushes her and keeps sitting by the door. He’s not being quiet to be mean; he’s listening to the doors open and close.

Cassie’s not smart enough or old enough yet to know how to do that—but Peter can do it. He picks out people’s footsteps and their voices from hints of sound all the way down the hallway.

He waits. They both wait.

They wait and they wait until Cassie so gets horrendously bored just sitting there with him that she starts daydreaming about being home. She daydreams and Peter listens and she daydreams some more. Cassie wishes she had the book that Mr. Beck gave her, but Peter’s got it clenched in his hand and won’t let her have it.

They wait. They keep waiting. They wait and listen and wait unless until finally there’s Mr. Beck’s laughing voice and a door slam. He’s left the bunker.

As soon as they hear the second door—the lid to the bunker opening and shutting—Peter whips around, and with his voice as sharp as a needle, snaps, “What did I tell you?”

He’s loud. He’s mad . “Wh-what?”

He’s standing now, pacing back and forth, limping so heavily that his foot barely touches the ground. “What did I tell you about him, Cassie ?”

There’s a bad feeling in Cassie’s stomach. “You said—you said not to—not to talk to him—but he said he’d give me a pop-tart—”

He’s got his hands on his head, pulling at his hair. “Oh, God,” he says. “Oh, God—oh, my God, I can’t—” He’s shutting and opening his eyes, and then he’s slapping at his forehead. “I told you not to f*cking talk to him!”

She can’t help it—she starts blubbering, and her words don’t come out right. “But he’s nice—he’s like—like Ava—the pop-tarts—he gave me a book—”

“Did he touch you? Did he touch you?

Cassie wants her book back. “No, no, he just read to me—I liked when he read to me—he’s nice to me—” She’s so confused. She likes Mr. Beck. She likes that he brings them pop-tarts and that he’s nice to Peter and that he gave her a book to read. He’s nicer than all the rest of them and he doesn’t hurt them, either. He’s better than Charlie and Renee and all the others. He’s good. He’s nice . Life’s better when Mr. Beck’s around. “He said he’s my friend,” she insists. “He’s my—”

“Stop it!” snarls Peter, and Cassie flinches so hard she bumps her head on the cell door. “I told you how many f*cking times, Cass!”

“A lot,” she says, Beck’s nice; why is Peter so mad about this? He’s so nice to Peter—and sure, he smells like smoke and he says weird things sometimes—but he doesn’t hurt them. He makes sure they’re fed; for the first time since she arrived here, she fell asleep with her belly mostly full. Whenever Mr. Beck comes to visit, her stomach doesn’t growl like a bengal tiger. Why doesn’t Peter like him like she does? “But he said—”

“I don’t f*cking care what he said, Cass! I told you—God, I told you not to!

Now she feels bad again, really bad, and tears are bubbling to her eyes. “B-but, b-but—”

Peter’s eyes look like dark, angry pools of oil. “I told you! You don’t go near him! You don’t talk to him, you don’t touch him, you don’t do anything and what did you do? ” He slams his hand into the wall—the wall cracks, and Peter's hand cracks with it; he groans with the pain of the first impact, winds up, and then smashes his hand into it again. “God damn it!”

She’s scared; Peter's hand looks like a crumpled piece of paper. “He—he—he’s my friend—” she hiccups, trying to get her words out between each sob.

He turns on her. “He’s not your friend! He’s not your friend!”

Peter’s never mad at her. Peter’s never mad at her.

Cassie doesn’t understand. She doesn’t understand why Peter doesn’t like him so much—why he ducks his head every time Beck enters the cell, why he shrinks away from every caress, why he hesitates in taking every gift. Mr. Beck’s nice.

“I don’t just make up these rules for no f*cking reason! I make them to keep you safe— to keep us safe! This isn’t a f*cking playground, Cassie! You can’t—” He scrubs his hand down his face and then slaps at his cheeks. “We’re not in kindergarten class! You can’t just disobey the rules just because you feel like it! ” He’s shaking—he’s gone pale and trembly. “ God f*cking—damn it!” And then he screams —straight at the wall, he screams—and he slams his hand into the wall for a third time.

And now Cassie's bawling. She’s sad—she’s scared—she’s mad—she’s every bad feeling rolled into one. She’s crying and crying and Peter’s still yelling, loud and angry. She’s crying so hard that she can taste salty mucus run into her mouth, and she’s swallowing and hiccuping and wailing. All she can feel is this thing she doesn’t have a name for. She feels like she’s five years old or four or three because now she’s been bawling for so long that she’s forgotten the reason why, just that it’ll make her feel better. Cassie’s crying so hard that it comes out of her in heaves, in great retches of the trenches of her lungs, huge breaths of gaping wideness that fill her completely before they’re sucked away by her upset.

Peter picks up the book from the ground, shaking it and the pages at her.“This? This? This f*cking thing! I told you not to take anything from him!”

She’s crying so hard that she can’t see him through the waves of quivering water in her eyes. “P-Pe-Pe—” she tries, but she’s sobbing too miserably to get a single word out.

“God!” He storms, book in hand, to the corner of the cell where their toilet is. She follows him, still crying, and tugs at his pants leg; he shakes her off, and he half-falls on the ground, pinning down the book with his knee and ripping out pages with his not-broken hand. “You don’t want this! You don’t f*cking want this!”

“No!” she shrieks, sobbing, and she throws herself at Peter’s feet. “No—no— my book!

Pages—and pages—and pages. He keeps ripping them out and throwing them into the toilet. “This is what happens when you don’t listen to me! Okay? Bad things happen when you don’t listen!”

For a second, Cassie wishes that one of the bad people, one of Charlie’s people, would come in and take Peter away. That they’d come and take him to that other room where he screams so that she could hide under the bed because she doesn’t want Peter here anymore. She doesn’t want him to yell at her anymore. She wants to be alone—she wants her book—she wants Beck to come read to her—she wants her mommy and her daddy and Jim—she wants Peter to hug her and tell her everything’s okay—she wants to go home— she wants it all to stop . “Stop, stop, stop!” she screams, and she throws herself over the open mouth of the toilet so that Peter can’t throw anything else in there. Hugging the dirty toilet-seat, she keeps crying, hiccuping and hugging it tight and she hopes that Peter doesn’t hit her.

The hit never comes; instead, the ripping sounds stop. The silence is filled with the sounds of sobbing—wet, gaspy sobbing like she’s doing. When she turns around, she sees Peter: he’s on his hands and knees over the half-remains of that brown book, crying. “Oh, God—” he manages, and he falls into a weird sitting position, kind of leaned up against the bed-railing. “Oh, God, oh, God.”

Tears spill down her face. “I’m—I’m sorry,” she cries, and there’s so much water coming down her face that there are tears running down her neck. ““I’ll—listen—I’ll be good—I’m sorry!”

He’s crying, too. “I’m sorry,” he says, echoing her. He opens his arms wide, and he kicks away the book with his good leg. “I’m sorry, come here, Cassie, come here. I’m sorry… I’m so sorry…”

She throws herself into Peter’s open arms, and he hugs her as she cries, cradling her as she sobs incoherently into his shoulder. “I don’t—” she hiccups. “I don’t—like—when—you yell—”

“I know,” says Peter, and he hugs her tight. She can feel him crying into her hair. “I’m sorry, Cassie… I know, I’m sorry.”

WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 1 — 12:26 PM

Agent Jimmy Woo gets a call from that secretary—Kate Bishop—while he’s on his lunch break. “I don’t have much for you,” says the girl, “but at least it’s something.”

“Anything will help,” says Jimmy.

“Well, there’s only one person who’s not in jail or witness protection who could maybe give you access to the HYDRA bunkers, and you’re not gonna like it. He’s, like, famous.”

Jimmy frowns. “Who?”

“James Buchanan Barnes. The Winter Soldier.”

Notes:

yes i know there are many explanations for pepper’s nickname but i’m sticking to this one, it’s the mcu explanation for her name and i like it, it’s cute

plz lemme know what u think, i die for comments

thanks for keeping up with this guys, y'all keep me living

Chapter 16: i'm unwell

Summary:

Peter’s condition is deteriorating fast. Like, Titanic-meets-iceberg fast. Physically, the kid’s doing a little healthier, having more nutrients in his system is allowing him to heal a bit better—but it doesn’t change the fact that the kid is the textbook-picture of starvation: rail-thin, sunken eyes, glazed pupils, sallow skin, visible bones. Mentally, he’s sinking. He barely lets the doctor touch him—the kid spaces out and freaks if anyone puts their hands on him.

Notes:

chap title from demons by hayley kiyoko

new chap, literally 2 min before midnight on tuesday haha, man i'm good, have fun with this, some major CWs

CW: sexual assault, description of sexually transmitted diseases, discussion of CSA, mentions of violence, torture, and electroconvulsive therapy

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

THURSDAY, AUGUST 2 — 8:35 AM

Officer Paz finds the Winter Soldier’s address in a NYPD database of felons on parole. Although James Barnes was technically pardoned for his crimes, he still had to register in the database with everyone else.

So, he’s not difficult to find.

Thursday morning, Julia Paz and Agent Woo drive to Brooklyn—a little limestone townhouse on a little street in Park Slope—and head up the sidewalk to the house of the Winter Soldier. It’s almost like walking to Iron Man’s front porch, or strolling through the Black Widow’s backyard. Who knew that her quest to find her brother Charlie would take her down the path of superheroes?

As they approach, they can hear people arguing. A woman and a man. “…have to talk to Nick Fury. He can help.”

A gravelly, male voice: “I’m not going to ask SHIELD for help. Can’t trust any of them, not even Fury.”

The woman: “Fury’s one of the good ones.”

“Don’t be naive—none of them are good ones.”

A third voice, a man: “Bucky, please.”

“No—we’re not gonna sit around and pretend like those SHIELD bastards are gonna help! They’re all heil goddamn Hitler —they’re not gonna help us find a kid. They’d rather take him themselves and use him to commit war crimes.”

The third voice again: “That’s not true—“

“You remember what they did to me!”

“That wasn’t SHIELD, that was HY—“

“They’re all—the f*cking—same! Honest to God, that’s probably who took him! That’s the first place we should’ve looked! f*cking SHIELD—”

Julia and Woo exchange looks and, before any more shouting can commence, she presses the rusty doorbell.

The talking stops almost immediately, followed by some hectic shuffling, footsteps towards the door, and a strained voice: “Bucky, Buck, hey, stop, stop—”

Pressure against the door; there must be someone against the door and an eye against the peephole, because the door moves slightly in its frame. Frantic whispering.

Before long, the wooden door is opening and three people stand beyond the frame—three instead of the one whose name is on the deed to the property: a dark-eyed guy with his hands in his pockets, a strawberry-blonde woman with a pregnant belly, and a blond guy with blue eyes. She starts abruptly, “Is this the residence of James Buchanan Barnes?”

As soon as she says the name, the sullen man gets only more so, his stance stiffening, his gaze darkening, his jaw settling. The blond man nods. “It is,” he says. He looks familiar, like a television star or a—

“Steve Rogers?” Jimmy Woo blurts out, before Julia can even complete her thought. “Wow. Wow. It’s—it’s such a pleasure, sir.”

It is . The muscled blond, dressed in just a T-shirt and sweatpants, is the superhero whose name is plastered on every high school textbook, whose emblem is printed on every kid’s pajamas, whose uniform is every child’s dream Halloween costume. Yet he stands in front of her like he’s an average neighbor. The man grimaces, almost sheepish. “Nice to meet you, too,” he says. “Can I ask what this is about?”

The other two—the pregnant woman and the sullen man—remain silent.

“Well,” starts Officer Paz, “we were wondering if you could help us with a case.”

Steve Rogers and James Barnes sit so closely that they look almost like a couple—all gentle nudges and shared looks and knee bumps.

“We’re kind of,” continues Steve, when she asks them again to help with Charlie, “busy at the moment. Personal matter, you know.” The two supersoldiers sit next to each other on the left side of the couch

Julai nods her chin at the pregnant woman, who has yet to introduce herself. “With her?”

“Her son ran away,” he says stiffly, as the pregnant woman shuffles in her seat. “We’re helping her find him.”

Julia Paz immediately wishes she could take the words back out of the air where they hang, thickly, like a dark cloud. “My condolences,” she says. And then, to the woman: “When are you due?”

She looks uncomfortable. “November 3rd,” she replies.

It’s August now, which would mean she’s in her last three months. “Oh, wow. Third trimester. Nausea getting better?”

The woman shrugs.

“I’ve got two of my own, you know,” she says. “A boy and a girl.”

The woman shrugs again.

Forget it. She’s not getting anywhere with this woman—and besides, she’s not here to talk to Steve Rogers or his pregnant friend. Maybe that’s why she’s not talking. Maybe it’s Steve’s love-child. That’d be a story for the news. “Well, every missing person is someone’s child, you know. If you, Mr. Barnes, could just help us find our missing person, then that would be wonderful. A map to these bunkers, or coordinates to their locations, or—”

The sullen Barnes’ curt response: “No.”

He’s been saying no for the past hour.

“Sir,” tries Agent Woo from beside her. “I understand that you’re hesitant to reveal these kinds of…sensitive locations, but this information will remain classified, I can assure you.”

“No,” he says again.

This ‘James Buchanan Barnes’ is really starting to piss her off. They’re so close to finding Charlie—and he’s going to stop all of this progress? “Mr. Barnes, please . Just give me a good reason you can’t help us.”

The man narrows his eyes. When he finally speaks, his voice is low and scratchy. “I’m not going back there,” he says firmly.

Julia tries, “Then if you could just give us a map—”

A sharp shake of his head. His long hair trembles. “I’m not giving that kind of information to a civilian.”

Julia sighs, rubbing her forehead. “Then what if… Captain America took us? No harm there, right?”

His face twists. “No. He’s not going there.”

“Bucky,” says Steve Rogers from beside him, and he touches the Winter Soldier’s arm like he’s not the most well-known assassin on this side of the planet. “I can handle it. It’s okay—I’ll go.”

James Barnes—or, Bucky, as Steve just called him—scowls darkly. “f*ck that.”

“Then you two can both come!” Julia suggests, in a moment of desperation. “I don’t care how you do it, just take me to the bunkers—I have to find him. Mr. Barnes, you’re my only chance of finding my—of locating my missing persons. If you can’t help us, then these people could be in serious danger.”

“Not my problem,” says the Winter Soldier.

Captain America nudges his knee with his own. “Buck,” he says.

The man’s scowl grows impossibly deeper. She realizes, in that moment, that the Winter Soldier is wearing gloves. “No one’s getting into those bunkers. No one.”

She sighs. “Look, we have reason to believe that they already are . I’m not sure exactly why they’re in these bunkers, but with the tattoos—”

“Tattoos?” echoes the man.

“That’s how we found out that HYDRA bunkers were a clue,” explains Agent Woo. “We’ve recovered several bodies of the missing addicts—all of them had tattoos of the HYDRA symbol on various parts of their bodies.”

“So, what?” asks Steve, with a frown. “You think they’re recruiting?”

“Could be,” says Officer Paz. “Or experimenting. We have no idea. That’s why we need to get access.”

The whole room seems to turn to James Buchanan Barnes.

The Winter Solider is statue-still, unfazed by the eyes on him. “Were there any numbers on the bodies?” asks James Barnes, without a splinter of emotion.

“Numbers?”

“Tattoos,” he clarified.

“No, no—other things. Flowers and like, regular tattoos. But no numbers.”

“Then it’s not HYDRA,” he says, and then he shuts his mouth.

They’re back to their stalemate. “Well, if it’s not HYDRA,” says the officer, “then what’s the danger in looking for my people?”

A painfully long silence. Steve settles his hand against Barnes’ shoulder, and the Winter Soldier seems to relax, just a little bit. “Fine,” he says. “I’ll take you. But I’m not going inside.”

TUESDAY, AUGUST 7 — 3:15 AM

Peter’s been acting weird. Really weird.

He doesn’t talk to her much anymore. He doesn’t play games with her or come up with new escape plans. He doesn’t pick up the food when it comes to their door. He doesn’t open the cans for her or tell her to make sure she doesn’t cut herself on the cans’ metal rims. He mostly lies on the ground like he’s sleeping, but with his eyes open.

Instead, it’s Cassie’s job now. She snaps the can opener closed on the lid, then twists and twists and twists, and pries up the lid with her fingernails. She only cuts her hand a few times, and they have enough bandages in their Treasure Chest that she can tape up her fingers all by herself.

She thinks it’s because Mr. Beck keeps coming in. Ever since that day with the book. Every day, even twice a day, maybe fifteen times ever since she got the book, Mr. Beck has come to visit. He usually comes in late at night when everyone else is asleep, tending to wait until Riri’s asleep or gone on a run—because, as he tells Peter, “She’s sticking her nose where it doesn’t belong.” He’ll come in with a present in a plastic grocery bag. Toothpaste. Apples. Hand sanitizer. Protein bars. More pop-tarts, mostly. He’ll tell Peter to get on the bed, although it’s not much of a bed without a mattress or blankets. Peter will do as he says, and then Mr. Beck will get on, too.

They’ll make noises and move around as Mr. Beck talks a lot in that low, low voice. Wrestle on the bed above her and make more weird noises. Mr. Beck will talk and grunt and shout and talk some more. Mostly, Peter doesn’t say anything at all. He doesn’t usually stay for long—half an hour or less—and then he’ll hop down, fiddle with his pants, and leave without a goodbye. He doesn’t look at Cassie anymore.

Cassie will stay under the bed; Peter will… He’ll keep acting weird. Sometimes, he’ll stagger to the toilet and throw up until there’s nothing left. Other times, he’ll crawl over to the corner and collapse over there, and he’ll just lay there like he’s sleeping.

Cassie doesn’t see it; she just hides and pretends she’s not there. She doesn’t understand what’s going on. Beck’s not hurting Peter; he doesn’t bring any knives or hammers or syringes. He doesn’t drag Peter outside or beat him with his fists. But still Peter acts like he’s been hurt.

Today, Peter’s sitting beside the sink and lathering himself up with that lavender soap. He does it in a kind of daze, his eyes glazed over. “Peter,” she says, “can I try?” She’s careful to be quiet; she knows better than to be loud.

“No,” he says.

“But it smells—“

“I said no, Cass.”

His words are slow and clunky, like he’s having trouble remembering that he’s awake.

When Mr. Beck comes today, Peter’s asleep on the floor beside the bed; he’s really tired these days. As soon as she hears those footsteps down the hall, Cassie yells and scrambles for the her safe spot under the bed but Peter’s sleeping body is blocking the way. Panicking, she dives to the toilet and cowers behind it instead of under the bed.

Mr. Beck spots Peter sleeping immediately. “Good,” he says, and he stands over Peter. Stepping over his sleeping form, he placed one foot on each side of Peter’s hips, standing over him like he’s just won a fight.

Then he kind of sits down on top of him, trapping Peter’s hips under him.

Cassie feels frozen.

He slaps at Peter’s face and Cassie starts crying. Peter wakes up, bleary, and then he starts freaking out , kicking his legs and flailing his arms until Mr. Beck catches them and pins them down. He’s choking out words: “Wait, Cassie’s not—wait—Beck, please—she’s gonna see—please, she’s gonna—”

“Shut the f*ck up,” says the man, and his free hand is on Peter’s jumpsuit. “She doesn’t mind, does she? She’ll learn eventually.”

Peter starts screaming—like, scary movie screaming. “NO, SOMEBODY—SOMEBODY! BECK, STOP—STOP—”

Then Beck shoves his hand over Peter’s mouth, “Shut up, shut up! You want everyone else to come here and watch? I’m sure they’d love to… Little f*cking entertainment for the crew, huh? Free of charge? You wanna be our little movie star, Parker? Do you?

A muffled response, more like a sob into Beck’s palm, and Peter’s furiously shaking his head, tears streaming down his face.

“Then shut the f*ck up!” By this point, Beck’s gotten all the buttons open on Peter’s front, and he grabs him by waist and, by shifting his knees, flips Peter over so that he’s on his stomach.

Peter starts sobbing harder, his hands scrabbling at the concrete. “Beck, please… Please…”

Beck pushes his head down into the concrete and starts yanking at his jumpsuit, pulling the collar down over his shoulder, then over the other to reveal each pale, skinny joint. Another yank, and it’s down to his waist. “f*cking relax,” hisses the man. “Or this is gonna hurt.”

When it’s over, Peter sits still. She can see him from where he sits, but only some of him. He is against the wall, legs bent into a pair of slanted triangles. He’s shirtless, his prisoner’s jumpsuit pulled down to his stomach—or pulled up now, she supposed, over his lower half. She doesn’t usually see him like this, not unless she’s helping to fix some of his wounds, and she can see every single one of his ribs from the front. His hands rest on his knees. His back is on the wall, but she can see up to his chest. He’s breathing like he's never taken air into his body before: slowly, in uneven fills, like he keeps forgetting how.

“Peter?” she says. He doesn’t say anything back. She knows that Beck is gone, but he’s been sitting for too long by himself. She wants to go to him. She wants him to hug her and rub her back and tell her everything’s okay because she’s not sure what just happened. She just knows that Peter is doing the same thing he does when he comes back from his sessions with Charlie. He’s still breathing funny. She wonders if it’s possible for someone to die like that. Forgetting how to breathe. It has to be, right? Maybe she should make sure he isn’t going to forget. “Peter—”

“Stay there, Cass,’ he says quickly, cutting her off. His voice sounds like a stoplight or a yield sign or a speed bump. He barely moves when he says it, just lifts a few fingers from his knee.

“But he’s gone—”

“I said stay there, Cassie!”

His whole hand is up now, and it’s trembling, pointed at her like a gauntlet, and she can’t see his face but she’s sure he’s looking at her. She shrinks back against the wall. He’s mad again.

When Renee gets mad, she knows what will happen. The same with Charlie, too. But she doesn’t usually see Peter mad , and certainly not at her. Well, not until lately.

“Did he hurt you?”

Peter starts crying.

She’s more urgent. “You’re not bleeding, and I didn’t hear him hurt you—you didn’t make noise like normal—”

“No,” he says, but he won’t look at her, “he didn’t hurt me, not like that.”

“Then why are you crying?” Tears are coming down his face fast. “Peter, I don’t understand. Peter. Peter. Peter.” He won’t answer her. “I don’t understand,” she says for the millionth time. Maybe Peter hasn’t heard her yet. “Mr. Beck’s nice! He’s really nice! He gives us presents, I don’t understand—”

“I know you don’t understand! I know you don’t understand! I know! I know you don’t….” He’s crying. Sobbing. “Just—give me a second, okay? I know you… you don’t…”

He makes this low sound in the back of his throat, a deep groan, like he’s just been stabbed in the gut and is feeling the blood leave him fast, in a flood. He raises his hands to his face and drags down, slowly, fingers dragging his dirtied face into a grimace, stretching the skin with his clawed fingers like he’s trying to rip his face off completely. Down his fingers go, down his chin and his neck until they’re scraping down his bare chest and Cassie realizes he’s leaving a series of pink lines down his skin. They stop somewhere at his stomach, where he takes his hands from his skin and looks at them, his fingers attached to his hands, staring in horror at them like they’re Charlie’s hands.

Still Peter groans, like a zombie.

His hands shake; they’re still arched like claws, and he stretches them out in some kind of mixture of horror and disgust, and then he closes them into fists so tight his knuckles go white.

And then, in a moment of profound intensity, Peter grips the back of his thigh with one hand and slams his fist down onto his bad knee, and he screams .

She’s heard him scream before. She’s heard him scream in pain so many times that she can tell what they’ve done to him just by hearing it. A long, bloodcurdling one—the blowtorch or electric shocks. Short, raspy screams: they were using a knife. grunting and screaming through his teeth, all in one breath—they were beating him. This isn’t a scream of pain. It’s… It’s anger. He’s angry . He throws his fist down on his leg and cries out—then throws it down again, and again and again, into the spot just above his knee. Again, and again, and again. Faster and faster and faster. Harder and harder and harder, until he starts to cry out with every blow. He throws every bit of energy into each punch, punching his leg and punching harder and harder and harder until Peter’s face is pink and Cassie starts to feel flu-sick in her tummy, and she screams, “Stop, Peter, stop, I don’t like it, I don’t like it!”

He’s too loud—they’re both way too loud, and Cassie’s scared.

He keeps going, and his fist is like a needle. Stab, stab, stab. She can’t help it—she imagines a giant syringe and Peter stabbing into his own leg, and the pain that would flood him. She knows how much his leg hurts him on a daily basis; she can’t imagine how much it hurts him now.

Eventually, he tires out, and he stops hitting his leg to sob into his exhausted hands. “This isn’t—supposed—to happen—anymore!” He’s saying words—words that are all jumbled up. “You weren’t supposed to… I can’t…”

He stops answering her after a while, just lost in his crying, bawling like a little kid. “It’s supposed to be over,” she hears him whisper. “It’s supposed to…be better…”

THURSDAY, AUGUST 9 — 4:29 AM

Bucky Barnes gets up early in the morning.

He gets up so early that the sun has yet to rise and Steve is still in bed. He wasn’t supposed to get up for another couple hours, but the anxiety alone has him tossing and turning all night. Four o’clock will have to work. Today, he’s supposed to take that police officer to the HYDRA bunkers.

Why the hell is he doing this? The last thing he wants is to go back to one of those places. Last time he was actually in a HYDRA facility—a couple years ago—he was in HYDRA.

He gets out of bed without waking Steve, and he shuffles through the house with his gun in hand. He checks in every corner, behind every door, past every curtain. He doesn’t shower—although he probably should. He dresses in military pants and an athletic shirt of Steve’s—he likes to keep him close. Black socks, lace-up boots. A blue hoodie that’s also Steve’s, but has switched hands so many times that it’s almost Bucky’s, too. It’s got a Coca-Cola logo, the old one from the 30s, printed across the front. He pulls it over his shirt—it still smells like Steve.

He comes back into the bedroom when he’s done dressing, and he stands over Steve as he sleeps.

He doesn’t wake him for a goodbye.

He meets Officer Paz at six o’clock outside of the NYPD headquarters in Manhattan. She’s dressed to the nines: dark navy collar and tie, matching pants, utility belt, gun in holster, badge pinned to her left breast pocket. “You look pretty normal for a hundred-year-old assassin,” says the officer.

“I get that a lot,” he says dryly.

She points to her squad car about fifty yards away. “You want to drive?”

Bucky shakes his head. He should probably pull his hair back—it could get in the way if they end up fighting someone. “I’ve got my bike,” he says, nodding his head to his motorcycle. “Just follow me.”

He leads the way on his bike, dipping and weaving through traffic

The closest location is actually in New York City, tucked away in the lower levels of an abandoned building deep in the Bronx. “Where’s your partner?” he asks, as they’re loading their guns outside. “The one who came to our house?”

“He’s off working another case,” she says. “Little girl who went missing.”

He hums noncommittally.

“It’s a pretty open-and-shut case, though.” He kicks in the door to an empty first floor—open pipes, pools of dirty water, and the general stench of rotting meat. She continues, “The dad went missing around the same time—staged a little accident, took the kid.”

“Lotta people going missing these days,” says Bucky, thinking of Peter Parker. He and Steve have been working with Pepper for weeks now trying to find the Spider-kid. He’s seen dozens and dozens of pictures of the kid. Half of them are pinned up to a corkboard in his and Steve’s dining room. That bulletin board practically takes up an entire wall. It’s covered in possible addresses, ties to different villains and supervillains, his last text messages, his future plans… That kid’s been missing, what, over four months now?

“Not as many as there used to,” says Officer Paz rigidly.

A beat between them.

He forgets sometimes what people see when they look at him: the Winter Soldier. Killer of dozens. The reason that children never saw their parents again. “I guess,” he mutters.

They pass through another set of doors, down a set of stairs, and into a grimy underground hallway. She starts talking again—a nervous talker, maybe—rambling about her other case. A little girl named Cassie. “But the thing is, the dad never showed any signs of violence or mental instability before taking the girl—and it didn’t seem like he was protecting Cassie from the new stepfather or the mother. They were all normal.Like, picture-perfect family. So I had a thought it might be ties to his old prison gang, maybe he made someone mad, but I went back to his prison-mates. The guy’s well-liked. By everyone.According to his old cellmates, this guy was the life of the party. Made everyone happy. So it just doesn’t make sense.

Bucky gives her a hard glance. “Are you allowed to tell me about that stuff?”

She shrugs. “Are you allowed to have that gun?” she shoots back.

Bucky clicks the safety off. “I’m sorry,” he says, sarcastic, “did you not want backup?”

“You’re lucky I need you, Barnes.”

He huffs again.

They’ve finally reached the bunker doors. Bucky puts in the code for the first door: 04161900. Arnim Zola’s birthday.

There’s a short hallway—barely ten feet—and then another set of doors. He puts in the second code with gloved fingers: 12031972. Arnim Zola’s death date.

He supposes even neo-Nazi’s have stupidly easy passwords.

The bunker was empty. Nothing but a couple old HYDRA corpses and a bunch of dead computers. “Tough luck,” he says, but he doesn’t really mean it. He doesn’t want to find anything in these sh*tholes.

The officer stands beside her squad car, scribbling into a notepad. “Let’s go again tomorrow,” she says without looking up.

“No,” he says. “I’m tired. We’ll go again on Monday.”

She snaps, “No, not Monday. Tomorrow.”

“I’m tired,” he says, “so Monday. Or not at all.”

“Fine.”

Bucky drives his motorcycle home in a daze—and when he gets home, he goes straight upstairs and steps in the shower—clothes, shoes, gun, and all.

SATURDAY, AUGUST 11 — 8:01 PM

Peter’s condition is deteriorating fast. Like, Titanic-meets-iceberg fast.

Physically, the kid’s doing a little healthier, having more nutrients in his system is allowing him to heal a bit better—but it doesn’t change the fact that the kid is the textbook-picture of starvation: rail-thin, sunken eyes, glazed pupils, sallow skin, visible bones.

Mentally, he’s sinking. He barely lets the doctor touch him—the kid spaces out and freaks if anyone puts their hands on him.

Today, they bring him in, dragged between two of Charlie’s guys.

At first glance, the kid’s uninjured but when they drop him on the ground, but then Peter doesn’t get back up. He’s flopped on the ground on his back, eyes half-open. This has happened a couple times—Peter coming back unconscious—but it doesn’t feel any less strange. “What’d you do to him this time?” he shouts before they can leave.

It’s the big blond guy and a smaller dark-haired guy who brings him in today—both are so high that they stumble a little into the doorframe as they walk out. The dark-haired guy motions with both pointer fingers at his temples and then makes a buzzing sound before laughing and staggering off with the blond one.

Oh. Electric shocks.

Dr. Skivorski swallows the bile rising in his throat.

As soon as the doors are closed and locked, he kneels beside young Peter and, after trying to wake him several times, sneaks his arms beneath the boy. It’s not hard to pick him up. He’s light, lighter than any seventeen-year-old he’s ever encountered in his time as a pediatrician, so he scoops him up—one arm under the crook of his knees, and one beneath his shoulder blades. “Alright,” he says quietly, even though Peter can’t hear him. “You’re alright. You’re okay.”

He places the unconscious boy supine on the operating table and starts his work by unbuttoning his jumpsuit. He doesn’t look too bad—some healing burns from yesterday. His IV catheter’s getting a little infected, probably from the constant insertion of all of those supersoldier sedatives, so he gets him some antibiotics for the infection, bandages up the spot in his arm where the catheter was previously, and he inserts another one. he finds one at hish hand that seems mildly usable, so he secures it with a stretch of medical tape—one inch tape and chevron tape to stabilize the vein—after inserting the cannula. He then floods the kid with fluids and extra nutrients, as much as he can, and at last the kid starts to wake, stirring in a dazed panic.

The doctor can’t do anything but observe in moments like this.

He’s still too muddled from the electroconvulsive therapy to think straight, so when he wakes up, he freezes, staring at the doctor like he crawled out of a horror film. “No,” he moans, and then his voice skyrockets into something high and panicky. “No, please… Please…”

“It’s just me, Peter,” he says, backing away a little bit. “Remember me? I’m just the doctor…”

It takes a while for him to figure out where he is, and even when he does, he stumbles off the table and back into the corner, where he wraps his arms around himself and rocks slowly.

“What’s changed?” the doctor asks. “Peter, hon, I need to know.” There’s no sign of major physical injuries—not that Peter lets him touch him for more than a few minutes. “I'm only here to help, you have to know that. I’m just trying to keep you safe.”

Peter rocks and he rocks and he stares off into space behind the doctor’s head. “You can’t keep me safe,” he hoarsely. “No one can.”

“Peter…”

Shaking his head and hugging himself, Peter looks empty. Behind his eyes—there’s suddenly nothing. “I can't do this,” he croaks, and the rest of his body is so still, as rigid as a corpse, that the doctor worries he’s gone unconscious for a second. The only sign of life is his open eyes.

“Peter,” he says, “don’t say that.”

Peter's shaking his head and shaking his head and staring off into empty space. “Can’t,” he says, and then he’s gone again.

Dr. Skivorski takes the opportunity to examine the kid. He kneels by him. There’s some bruising around his neck, too, pinker than the rest, and pinkish-purple blotches on his chest.

Not bruises. Hickeys.

Oh.

There’ve been signs before—Peter’s skittishness, his aversion to touch, his inexplicable fear of these ‘new people,’—but it’s never been so obvious.

“Take another second, Peter,” he says, as Peter tries to get off the operating table. “Rest.”

He seems almost distraught at the notion. “I can't,” he says, as he attempts to sit up. “Gotta get back to Cass. They could be—they could be—

“Peter, you know they’re not going to come back for a while. You might as well let me fix you up.”

“But they—” His voice is high with panic. “I have to. She’s—she—”

“They don’t usually go anywhere near her, Peter. You know that. They don’t like to hurt her.”

“They could do worse than hurt her,” Peter says.

The doctor sighs. “But they won’t. These people may be junkies and kidnappers and thugs and thieves but they’re not pedophiles.”

The boy suddenly goes from panicked to furious. “How do you know what a pedophile is like?” snaps Peter. “They don’t have f*cking warning signs painted on their foreheads.”

“No,” says the doctor carefully, “but I was a pediatrician. I’ve seen my fair share of sexual abuse, Peter.”

Peter goes still. “Oh,” he says, and his throat seems to have closed completely, his trachea swollen shut to block any semblance of vocal sound. “Right.”

“None of these people look at Cassie the way you fear they do, Peter. None of them.”

Peter’s shaking his head again. “There’s new people, Doc. You haven’t… You haven’t met them yet. They’re…” The kid’s eyes go blank again.

The doctor realizes, suddenly, that there’s a question he hasn’t asked Peter. “Peter, have any of them touched you?”

Peter suddenly looks like an entirely different person. Someone older. Someone with a whole life packed in polaroids under a dirty mattress. Someone with a closet of half-liquified skeletons. “What?” he says darkly, like the doctor just asked an entirely different question. “What did you just say to me?”

“Peter—”

“Do I look like someone who that could happen to? For f*ck’s sake, I have superpowers.”

“These things can happen to anyone, Peter.”

“f*ck you,” Peter spits. “Where do you get off, saying that to me—”

“Peter—”

“I’m not a little kid!”

“I know,” he says gently. And he does know. Peter’s reaction—that’s all he needed to know. “I know, okay.”

He keeps looking over the kid. He restitches the cuts on his wrists and ankles—those never seem to heal—and then he scans a light over the kid’s eyes and ears. “Peter, can you open your mouth for me?” He’s blinking like a newborn baby, swaying slightly as he rocks. “Hey. Hon. Open your mouth for me, okay?”

This is the only way he can figure out if what he’s thinking is true.

Peter’s in some kind of fugue state, so he opens his mouth a little, and he scans with his penlight. There, in the back of the mouth—a series of red spots by his uvula, and further redness going all the way down his throat.

The doctor sits back on his haunches, defeated. His heart sinks. “Oh, Peter…” he says, and the boy barely even registers his face. “Peter—can I—can I ask you a couple questions?”

The boy shrugs. He’s coming back to himself a little, looking around, anywhere but the doctor’s face.

The doctor feels a surge of loathing for this place, for what these people have done to him. But he puts on his doctor face—a soft, professional expression—and he asks, “Have you had oral sex recently?” His throat is a dead giveaway: this kid’s got an oral disease, most likely sexually transmitted. From the looks of it, it’s probably gonorrhea.

The kid seems hazy; he nods and nods and then he tips his head against his knees, hiding his face from the doctor. “Does it hurt when you pee?”

Peter picks his head back up, and he stares at the doctor. It’s such a haunting gaze—like that of a shell-shocked soldier or a slack-jawed sleepwalker.

The doctor swallows the lump in his throat. “For how long?”

He stares—that empty, thousand-yard stare—and finally, after a few minutes of heavy silence, he says, “A while.”

Notes:

thanks for ur patience, hope u have a good read, lemme k what u think

i might post another couple scenes in a couple days, maybe, if i feel like it haha.

Chapter 17: black out days

Summary:

She glances over at the boy. Peter is rolled over in the corner by the toilet, laid on his side and curled into some kind of fetal position, quiet. His jumpsuit is barely on, drawn over his hips but leaving his chest bare enough that she can see every notch in his spine, like the mottled curve of an albino snake. Stupidly, she asks, “Is that the first time he…?” Peter doesn’t answer.

Notes:

thanks for waiting, here's the new chap. life's been sh*tty and sometimes this is the only thing that keeps me going i swear to god.

plz plz be careful with the CWs this chapter

CW: rape, medical discussion of rape, blink-and-you-miss-it implicit suicidal thoughts, obv references to violence and torture

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

MONDAY, AUGUST 13 — 6:33 AM

Since visiting that bunker in the Bronx last Monday, Bucky’s been acting strange. He can’t help it.

He’ll find himself passing out when he stands up because he hasn’t eaten in a couple days. He doesn’t shower much. Stops washing his hair. He forgets to brush it and lets it get shaggy. “As much as I like your new look,” says Steve, trying to be a little funny, “I do think you should at least shower, Buck. It’s good for you.”

Bucky doesn’t tell him the words that are bouncing around his skull: The asset is prohibited from self-maintenance. All upkeep shall be performed by the asset’s handler.

He finds himself places without knowing how he got there. Sometimes with his motorcycle, sometimes barefoot. Always with a weapon.

Steve’ s getting worried; Bucky can feel his concern every time he looks at him across the kitchen table or while they’re alone in bed. “Are you sure about this, Buck?” he says. “I could do it, you know. I could take over, help her with HYDRA—”

“No,” Bucky snaps.

Steve lets out this gentle sigh. “Bucky…”

“Just drop it, Steve.”

So he drops it.

Early Monday morning, he meets the officer at NYPD headquarters, and they drive out to Pennsylvania: Bucky on his bike and Officer Paz in her squad car.

It hits as soon as the bunker door closes behind him. He’s back. He’s suddenly dizzy—dizzy enough to be sick, like a hangover—and when he looks at his arm, his flesh looks like undercooked meat. This body is not his. This skin, these legs, this arm, this chest. The world around him warps and bubbles: an underworld.

He stops so dead in his tracks that Officer Paz asks him if he’s okay.

The only thing he can manage to do is nod vaguely. Bucky’s been to this bunker more than any of the others. Its location was perfect: far enough from New York City to be secluded, but close enough to find any target who passed through the city.

It's a haunting mix of déjà vu and jamais vu; it’s like a nightmare becoming real, a place so foreign and familiar that it’s like the remnants of a bad childhood memory. The stench of copper in the air, the green-tinted walls, the blank cells.

Bucky manages to get his legs working again. He enters each hallway with his gun poised and the officer tailing him.

They enter another room—one with a vibranium-lined chair and an electric contraption hanging above it. The entire space, each stain of decades-old blood on the floor, each scratch in the chair-arms—at once he can’t move. His boots are glued to the floor like a rat in a trap.

Someone’s calling his name. Again and again. Is that his name? Barnes. Bucky. Bucky Barnes. He feels himself fade: an oil painting in the sun, all his colors lightening and blurring into a mass of peeling white canvas.

He’s here.

The asset is here.

The asset remains functional. It requires a recall of its last mission.

There’s a hand on its shoulder; threat recognized. The asset turns and pins the threat to the wall, metal arm against throat.

Complete mission. Complete mission. Complete mission.

The threat coughs. She says his name again. His name? Again, she says it, frantic. Choking, her hands fighting against metal fingers. His name, his name, his name again.

Bucky.

He blinks, and he blinks again, and his metal fingers unclench.

She drops like a stone, coughing on her hands and knees. Her eyes look wild. “Maybe…you should…wait…outside…” she chokes out, hand at her now-swelling throat.

She’s probably right.

Bucky mentions to the officer that there’s another bunker near the first—a small one further west—so they make the drive.

The second bunker is just like the first. Empty. Cold. Reeking of stale corpses.

“That’s the last one in the state,” says Bucky as they exit the bunker. “You think he went cross-country?”

“He can’t be far,” she assures him. “Charlie wouldn’t—”

“Charlie?” he repeats. “How well do you know this guy?”

Giving in, she finally says, “It’s my brother.”

The officer and the assassin stare at each other.

“Thursday,” he says at last. “We’ll go again on Thursday. Drive out to Pennsylvania. There’s a couple out there.’

“Thank you,” she says. “You okay? I know this can’t be easy…”

“Yeah,” says Bucky, but he’s shaking his head. “I’m good.” He swallows. “Sorry about your—”

The officer interrupts, “It’s fine. I’ll see you Thursday.”

Bucky doesn’t remember driving home.

He doesn’t remember loading his gun. He doesn’t remember standing at the door for the rest of the day with the barrel of his gun pressed against the window-glass.

But when he comes to, it’s dark outside and Steve’s shaking his shoulder and calling his name: “Buck? Bucky? Hey. Hey.” He drops his keys on the floor, and the clink of car keys against the oak floor shakes him back to reality, blinking.

“What time is it?” Bucky mutters, bleary.

Steve doesn’t even check his watch. “Late, baby. Like, ten.”

“Ten?” He got back from the bunkers around midday. “Oh,” he says.

“How long have you been here like this?”

Bucky must’ve been standing like this for hours,stiff as a board, ready to shoot at any moment. “Since noon?” he echoes. Nine hours? Ten? “I thought…” He’s not sure. Maybe he wasn’t thinking at all.

He unlocks his knees from their stiffened position with a pop and finds himself falling, dizzy, purple-tinted spots peppering his vision. His whole body feels numb.

“Hey, whoa…” Steve braces his hands against his shoulders to keep him upright. “You okay?”

He can still complete the job. “Functional,” he says, and Steve winces.

“Bucky,” he says, “you eaten anything today?”

He doesn’t remember, honestly. He tries to think back—visiting the bunkers is a haze, too. Where’d they go today? Pennsylvania? He had a mission in Pennsylvania once. A mother. The kid saw, he remembers, and Bucky killed him, too.

He’s not himself. He doesn’t feel like himself. When he looks down, he’s wearing the wrong pants and the wrong shirt and his face isn’t covered and the asset may not receive nutrition until the mission is completed

“Hey, Bucky, you’re okay, you’re home, you’re safe…” Steve’s in front of him, hands on his shoulders. “Baby, look at me. You know where you are?”

Bucky blinks. He blinks again. His chest is twisted tight. With you,he thinks, and his mind goes pleasantly blank.

Bucky’s gun is on the windowsill now—did Steve take it from him? How…

“Here.” Steve’s got a glass of water—when did he have time to get that? “Drink.” Bucky takes the cup—the condensation on the glass makes his hands damp. “Drink,” he repeats. “Come on.”

Steve helps him to the kitchen and makes him something to eat—some peanut butter and grape jelly sandwiches—and they sit at the kitchen table together in silence.

Steve’s washing the dishes now, clearly concerned. He’s got that scrunched-brow look, so Bucky croaks out,“Found the kid yet?”

Steve shakes his head. “Not yet. We’ve been talking to Dr. Helen Cho, though, remember her? She’s been sneaking medical records from May Parker's hospital. Cho thinks she could get her to wake up. Maybe she knows something we don’t.”

“Good idea,” says Bucky, but honestly, he doesn’t really care about this kid. Peter Parker’s probably just at summer camp or something else equally teenager-y.

“Yeah,” he says. “Pepper’s coming by later—we’re trying to figure out how to get her out of that hospital without alerting the authorities. Is that okay? I can tell her not to—”

“No,” says Bucky stiffly. “It’s fine. I’m good.”

TUESDAY, AUGUST 14 — 9:45 AM

JARVIS needs more than a Macbook Pro to hack into Tony Stark’s lab.

They don’t want to let these kidnappers know that they’ve seen anything, so they don’t let JARVIS into the computer systems at the Avengers residence upstate.

So, Pepper buys back Avengers Tower.

The paperwork isn’t difficult—they had partial ownership of the Tower even when it wasn’t emblazoned with ‘AVENGERS’ on the front. It was owned by Amazon in their absence, but Jeff Bezos has about a million other towers he could buy. This one—they need this one.

Publicly, she has to make a statement. A company can’t move their entire headquarters overnight without making some kind of statement. She only makes one statement, and by the following day, every news station is repeating it, recirculating that same old photo of her bruised face.

In front of dozens of cameras, she announces, “ Stark Industries does not need Tony Stark anymore than I do.”The rest is implied: she’s moving to get away from Tony Stark, for a fresh start. That was her original reasoning, sure, but now it’s just for show.

As soon as they take ownership of the Tower, they implement JARVIS into the Stark Industries systems. “Using these systems,” she says, “do you think you could access Tony’s lab upstate? Without anyone knowing?”

JARVIS, in his pleasant British tone: “Of course, Ms. Potts. All of Sir’s AIs are designed to be untraceable.”

“How long would that take?”

“Approximately,” says the AI, “two hundred hours.”

“Two hundred?”

“Give or take, Ms. Potts, that’s just over eight days.”

Eight days. Eight days that Peter’s missing and eight more days that Tony’s trapped in the lab. “Okay. Thank you, JARVIS.”

“Of course. Ms. Potts. I will begin the operation right away.”

MONDAY, AUGUST 20 — 6:14 AM

Bucky takes the officer to a bunker in Connecticut next.

It’s a small bunker, one he was only in a couple of times. Two levels, no operating room, only one cybernetic chamber.

“I need to see something,” says Bucky, once they’ve made sure Charlie Keene isn’t hiding inside.

The officer objects, saying, “We’re done here, Barnes,” but he could care less what she thinks. He wasn’t asking for permission.

He walks down the hallway and he feels like a five-year-old kid walking down the hallway to his room at bedtime. It’s not hard to find the cell: the massive star on the door is a dead giveaway.

The scratches in the walls. The grimy mattress. The lidless toilet. The bucket bolted to the floor. The food slot in the door. It’s all still there.

“You lived here?” whispers the police officer.

“Sometimes,” he says, and he feels almost faint.

Bucky drives home in a daze.

His ears ring. His head aches. His vision blurs.

Bucky drifts from one memory to the next, from one place to the next. He feels wrong. He is wrong. His hair is too light, his clothing too civilian, his face too clean.

Bucky Barnes fades; the asset is here.

MONDAY, AUGUST 20 — 6:45 PM

Steve has been helping Pepper all day. They’re nowhere close to finding Peter, but at least they’ve managed to move May to the Tower Medbay without much of a hitch. Pepper claimed her treatment was covered as a part of a Stark Industries charity for unidentified patients, and the hospital let her go.

Dr. Cho has gotten the woman awake and blinking, but she has yet to speak. Maybe once she does, she’ll have something to say.

The drive home is mindless; he puts on old forties’ songs and hums to them as he goes. When he gets back, Bucky’s motorcycle is parked haphazardly in the driveway and the front door is wide open.

Steve stops the car.

He doesn’t bother locking it. He bolts inside, calling out, “Bucky! BUCKY!” and running around the house in a dead panic. There’s Bucky’s jacket on the table, Bucky’s shoes at the door, Bucky’s sweatshirt on the stairs. Then, as he’s a couple steps up, he hears it: bang! bang! bang!

Three gunshots.

Steve runs.

He takes the stairs four at a time, trips on the landing, gets back up, and shouts, “BUCKY!”

No answer.

Panic floods him like cold water. The sound came from the bathroom; in one try, he kicks the door in. The entire door splinters under the weight of his leg.

Bucky’s standing in front of the sink, facing the mirror. He’s almost naked, dressed in only a pair of black briefs—the rest of his clothes have been tossed into the bathtub. His hair is greasy and black; is that hair dye? The dye is everywhere: smeared over his eyes like a mask, coating his hands, slimed over the sink, hand-painted over his chest, and there’s more over the doorknob and the bathtub and the gun in his hands—

Bucky, near-naked, is still pointing his gun at the mirror, and that’s where Steve sees the bullets. Three of them. Shot directly into the mirror in perfect succession—one, two, three—like target practice. He pointed it at the mirror ; he pointed it at himself . “Buck,” he says again, finally realizing what’s going on. “Bucky, you with me?”

Bucky doesn’t move. He stands there, watching himself, completely unaware of Steve’s presence. He’s muttering something under his breath, Russian slipping into English and into German and back to English again. “The asset… The asset must…” He’s still holding the gun, and his eyes have taken on this dulled glaze. “...соответствовать всем командам.”

Tentative, Steve moves towards him; he has to get the pistol from him. “Bucky, give me the gun, baby. Let go of the gun.” He puts his hands on Bucky’s and tries to pry the handgun from a tense grip.

Bucky Barnes doesn’t even blink.

He mutters and mutters and mutters. He’s got a grip so tight around the weapon that his fingers are white and pink from the pressure. In a dry whisper: “…with all commands. The asset must be compliant with all commands. The asset must…” Back to Russian. “Актив должен соответствовать всем командам. Актив… Актив…”

“Let go of the gun, baby. Bucky. Bucky. Come on, give me the gun. Give me the gun.” Bucky’s fingers are unyielding. Steve pleads, trying to get Bucky to wake up, “Let go of the gun. Let go of the gun, baby. Let go of the gun.

Then Bucky turns the gun, slowly, fighting against Steve’s hands and taps it against his forehead, still murmuring dazedly in Russian. Steve takes the moment to shove his hand in front of the barrel, pushing his palm into Bucky’s wrist to break his grip on the gun.

Finally, he manages to wrangle the gun from Bucky’s taut hands. Sweet relief washes over him; immediately, Steve unloads the gun, spilling out the last few bullets onto the bathroom floor and then throwing the pistol out into the hallway. They’re safe.

There was dye on the gun, too, so now Steve’s hands are faint with it—imprints of black dye in the shape of the pistol.

Bucky must have realized the gun is gone, because now he’s staring at his palms like he’s seeing a black-painted creature stemming from each wrist instead of a hand. He mumbles a little, incoherent, and then he half-falls to his knees, bracing himself against the white tile. “Steve?” he whispers, so quiet. He’s coming back to himself, his face twisting in confusion as he takes in his appearance. “What…”

“Oh, Buck,” he says, unable to keep the sadness out of his voice. “Baby…”

Bucky’s grinding his palms into his eyes.

Steve kneels beside him, careful not to touch him. “This isn’t good for you. I can't let you keep going back there. It’s not healthy.”

Bucky looks pained, like a kid with a stomach-ache. “I have to,” he says.

Steve shakes his head. “No. No. It's okay. Let’s switch, alright?”

“Switch?” he echoes hoarsely.

“Yeah. You help Pepper with Peter Parker, and I’ll help the officer with her thing.”

“I can't,” he says. “I have to—it has to be me.”

Steve shakes his head, and then he shifts a little closer, sitting on the backs of his legs. “Can I touch you?” he asks, and Bucky nods, exhaling. Steve slides closer, knee resting against his, and presses warm fingers on Bucky’s flesh-and-blood wrist. “Bucky, baby,” he says. “Listen to me. You’ve done enough. Let me help.”

“But what if something…” Bucky’s staring at his hands again. “...happens?”

“Bucky. Baby. What's the worst that could happen?” Steve gives a light chuckle. Bucky doesn’t. “We’re goddamn supersoldiers. We’ll be okay.”

Bucky nods, the motion faint.

“Now, let’s get that sh*t off your face, okay?”

Bucky nods again, and he rests his head on Steve's shoulder. “I’m sorry,” he says.

Steve kisses his forehead, hair dye and all.

TUESDAY, AUGUST 21 — 10:47 AM

Riri knows something is going on with Quentin Beck and Peter.

She has to say something. She finds Charlie in the barracks, shirtless with a belt tied right around his upper arm. There’s an array of used needles beside him.

“Charlie,” she says, “I think… something’s happening to Peter.”

He doesn’t even look up at her, instead flicking the syringe with his finger. “Who—you mean Parker?”

Riri blinks. “Yeah,” she says. “I think Beck’s been… hurting him.”

Charlie chuckles. “Okay?” he says.

Okay? Okay? “Charlie,’ she repeats. “He’s, like, touching him. Like, bad-touching. Haven’t you heard the sounds coming from in there?” She’s heard them way too many times: husky moans, bitten-off cries, strained gagging, hushed grunting…

The bearded man raises his hands as though to clean them of what she just said. “I’m no one to judge,” says Charlie, “I mean, hey, I don’t swing that way, but if that’s his thing, then…”

Riri’s mouth must be open. “That’s not what I mean—he’s—he’s—Peter’s a kid—”

Charlie laughs. “He’s sixteen, Riri. You know what I was doing at sixteen?”

Riri’s rubbing her chin. She thinks he might be seventeen; she’s heard him whispering the number under his breath. “Charlie—we’re in control of him, we… It’s our responsibility to make sure this kind of thing doesn’t…”

Charlie puts down the needle. “Whoa, whoa,” he says, with a hint of a laugh in his voice. “Calm down, little girl. You’re sounding like a f*cking cop. We’re not into that—all of those rules, all that… Let the man breathe,get out of his ass. He’s not hurting anybody—”

“Not hurting anybody,” echoes Riri. He’s hurting Peter. He’s hurting Peter.“Charlie—”

He pats her on the shoulder, light, and she jerks away from his touch, crossing her arms over her chest. Charlie scoffs, “Are you jealous? Is that the problem?”

“What? No!”

“Because if you want a piece of him too, no one’s stopping you. Go for it. Might as well give him a good time while he’s here.” Charlie waves her away then, picking up the needle, sticking it into his arm and pressing down the plunger. With a pleasant sigh, he falls onto his back and smacks his lips.

That’s her sign to go; Riri feels like she’s going to throw up.

WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 22 — 5:44 AM

Riri knows she shouldn’t open that door.

But she can hear it.

Beck’s rambling in that low, lusty voice, talking and talking and Peter’s too quiet. “Bet Tony Stark f*cked you like this, huh? He get a piece of you? Little slu*t,bet you spread your legs for every guy who walked into Stark f*cking Industries, huh? Didn’t you? Didn’t you, Petey?”

Struggling and teary whimpering and more struggling.

“You want it all, don’t you? Bet you sucked off every intern who looked your way, huh? You let them all f*ck you like this, didn’t you, Petey?” A bitten-off moan that revolves into a dark exhale, almost more of a chuckle. “Little…” Another moan. “...slu*t… God… That dick feel better than Stark’s, don’t it? Don’t it, Petey? You—f*ck—like it, don’t you? I f*ck better than that tech-stealing motherf*cker, don’t I?”

And she can hear Peter’ every breath through the door—shoved out of him with every rhythmic slap of skin. A crack! like a hand—a pained groan. “Say it, Parker. Say it. Say I f*ck better than him. Say it.”

Peter’s voice is so bedraggled that she can’t even make out his answer, but it must be satisfactory because Beck chuckles again, and he starts up: rhythmic thrusts combined with the man’s rough grunts. “f*ck, yes… You’re so f*cking tight…”

She has to do something. f*ck whatever Charlie said. She can’t just sit here and listen to this. She can’t.

She's sick of this. She's so sick of this.

She nears the door, one quiet step at a time. The cell door’s still open a crack, and she balks twice at the entrance. What’s she gonna do, barge in there like a police officer? Kick the door in? Yell, What the hell’s going on in here? That’s stupid. That’s stupid . What else could she do? Walk in carefully, ask politely what Beck’s doing? Say, Excuse me? Mr. Quentin Beck, sir, that’s highly inappropriate…

She doesn’t feel like herself, but she has to do it. She can’t let Beck keep doing this to him. She can still hear the man’s voice, crude and thick: “Say it again, f*ck yes, say I’m better than him, Petey—”

Riri swallows a stone of guilt and pushes the door open.

She doesn’t know what she was expecting to see. But not this. Not this.

Peter’s naked on the ground, limp and facedown, his black jumpsuit twisted around his ankles. There’s something dark on his wrists—is that a belt?—binding his arms behind his nude back. Brown-haired Beck is kneeled over him, his hairy legs between Peter’s own. His pants are undone and slung low, revealing his bare ass, his loosed belt hanging over Peter’s pale thighs—and with one hand on the kid’s hip and the other on the concrete floor, Beck braces himself up for each thrust, his hips flush with Peter—

And then Beck notices her in the doorway, and he slips, falling on top of Peter in surprise. “Oh, sh*t.” She catches a startling glimpse of Beck’s brownish pubes and a light sheen of blood as he struggles off the boy— out of him—as yanks up his boxers, and zips up his jeans.

The brown-haired man gets up, gives Riri a little nod, and leaves the cell by squeezing past her in the doorway. His belt’s still unbuckled; he smells like sweat and sex as he passes her.

And Peter Parker lays on the ground like something dead, arms still tied behind his back.

WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 22 — 7:07 AM

Riri hides in the bathroom for at least an hour.

She feels safe there. She can’t stop thinking about what she saw. Peter. Beck. Peter and Beck. How could she be so naive? Beck’s been… He’s been… He’s… She feels sick. This guy’s been walking around the bunker like he’s been crowned king—and all the while, he’s been assaulting Peter?

Somehow, assault is too kind a word for what she saw.

When she finally leaves the bathroom, heading into the barracks to find something to eat, she finds only one person inside: Quentin Beck.

He sits at the end of the room at a table, his feet propped up on the surface. He’s smoking a cigarette, which is probably laced with something else because his eyes are bloodshot and half-lidded. She approaches the table. She has to say something: stop that or what the hell is wrong with you or in front of the little girl? But none of her words make it out of her mouth. “Some people don’t like the smell,” he starts, taking a drag and breathing it out, “but I don’t know, I kind of like it.” He chuckles; Riri feels ill. “Bad habit. Everyone’s got their vice, hm?”

Riri nods emptily.

There’s mud on the bottom of his shoes. She saw those shoes just an hour ago—set somewhere between Peter’s naked knees. “Look, you know, I’d appreciate it if you didn’t say anything about Peter and me. That’s, you know…private.”

Private? Private?

“Not trying to cause a scene here.” Another chuckle, and a wave of disgust urges its way up Riri’s throat. “Just trying to have some fun while I can.” There’s something on the man’s arms, little pink lines, and all of a sudden nausea hits Riri like a slug to the gut: they’re scratches. Probably from Peter’s fingernails. Maybe that’s why he tied Peter’s hands.

“We’re not here…for that,” Riri says.

He takes another drag from his cigarette, and when he opens his mouth to speak, a spur of white smoke spills out of his mouth. “What does it matter? We’re gonna kill him once it’s over, anyway. What is it they say… Dead men tell no tales, hm?”

Quentin Beck is smiling. He’s smiling. Riri’s legs are going numb. He pulls the cigarette from between his lips and offers it to her. Riri waves her hand as though to say, No, thanks. But really, she can’t gather the energy to say no out loud.

The brown-haired man shrugs and moves on.

“But he—he…” she manages. “Can’t you—can’t you find someone else?”

Beck shrugs. “Why would I? Parker’s there, he’s warm, he’s f*cking fresh… And what’s he gonna do? Say no?”

“He’s just a kid.”

Beck’s scruffy face—a lusty smile. “Ah, ah, ah,” he says gently, with a waggle of his finger. “He’s a teenager. Already the age of consent.”

BUT HE CAN’T CONSENT! she wants to scream. She must be displaying some of her horror on her face, because Quentin Beck chuckles and says, “Oh, come on, it’s not like I’m f*cking the little girl. There’s no need to look like I just sh*t in your Happy Meal.”

She can’t manage to do anything other than dry-swallow.

“Look, I know kids like him. They’re all sweet and innocent and f*cking demure until you get some dick in them. Little Petey Parker’s just a tease—a tease who’s gonna be dead in a couple months. Might as well give him what he wants, huh?”

He sits up finally, kicking his feet down, and Riri flinches. Beside him, there’s the latest prototype from Tony Stark. It’s bulky, with dozens of exposed wires. “You wanna see the new weapon Stark brought? I’ve been f*cking around with it a bit, and this one—it’s pretty good. Look.” He takes aim at an empty handle of vodka that’s sitting on the table across from him. The man pulls the trigger, and a blast of hot-blue light fires from the barrel. The entire bottle reduces to a tiny pile of grayed ash. “Not exactly what we wanted, but hey, if Petey Parker drops dead today—and Stark stops working—we’ve still got some pretty good weaponry right here. Gonna make us billions.”

Riri’s not even listening. She has no idea what he’s saying—his voice fades to a low whine. All she can see is what she glimpsed an hour ago—Peter and Beck. Beck and Peter. The loosed belt. The bloody streaks. The bare skin.

Forget Charlie’s plan—can she just sit here and let this happen to Peter?

WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 22 — 8:42 AM

Riri’s seen violence.

That's how she lost her parents—that’s how she lost her brother—her whole family. She’s seen pools of blood from gunshot wounds. She’s seen teenagers with their skulls bashed in over a gram or two of their drug of choice. It's why she can stand to see Peter the way he was. But this… This is entirely different.

She takes the car out of the mountains—driving past restaurants and warehouses and cabins until she reaches a small clinic in Lancaster, New Hampshire. The same clinic where she found Dr. Skivorski when they needed someone to take care of Peter.

She waits in the emergency room, makes up information for the sh*tty healthcare paperwork, and sits in a waiting-room chair on her phone. An hour passes, and then another, and then at last a nurse comes for her, calling out the fake name she’d put on the paperwork.

She follows the nurse into the next room, lets her take her heart rate and blood pressure, and then she’s alone again. After another few minutes, a man comes in—a young black man with a white lab-coat and royal-blue scrubs. “Oh,” she says, startled.

The young guy stops in his tracks. “What?” he says, as the door swings shut behind him.

“I thought…” She shakes her head. “I thought I’d get a female doctor.”

He gives her a soft smile before striding to the sink to wash his hands. “We’re a little short-staffed right now,” he says gently. “Did you want a female one?”

She blinks. “Um,” she says intelligently. Does she? “I don’t know. Maybe.”

The man dries his hands and checks his watch. “Well, it’ll be at least a couple hours before there’s a female doctor available—are you okay with that wait?”

She shakes her head. She’s already been gone long enough; she can’t imagine what Charlie would do if she was gone for another couple hours.

“Okay… I do want to let you know that I am an intern—so I may not have as much experience as the other doctors, but I am qualified to treat you. Is that okay?”

She nods emptily.

“Great.” He picks up a clipboard—one that was already on the counter and reads it, flipping through the papers there. Riri saw the nurse scribble on it earlier. “My name's Dr. Drew."

"Riri," she says quietly, and then immediately wishes she hadn't. Why the hell is she giving this guy her real name?

"Nice to meet you," the intern says. "The nurse said she didn’t see any current physical injury, but that there were some old injuries around the head, broken nose… Is that what you’re here for?”

“No,” she says quickly.

Drew nods. “Okay… Is it something you feel comfortable talking to me about?”

Sitting frozen-still, she pauses, and then she shrugs quickly, the way a student does when they don’t know the answer to a calculus question.

“Hm,” he says. “Okay. Can I ask what it’s about?”

She finds herself like a fish out of water—mouth opening and closing without anything coming out. “If someone… If someone’s been, um.” Why is it so hard to say this word? “Attacked,” she says instead. “Is there something I could give them? Like, medically? That you could… I don't know.”

“Attacked,” the intern echoes. “Do you mean, like, beaten up?”

No, no, of course not. “Um,” she says, “not really.”

The young doctor suddenly looks very tired. “You mean sexually assaulted?” he says quietly.

She finds it in herself to nod.

The intern tucks his clipboard under his arm and backs up, sitting on a stool. “Did this happen to you?”

She shakes her head.

Drew’s frowning again and again. Deeper and deeper, until worry lines consume his young face. “It happened to someone you know?”

She nods, and she nods again, and then she’s crying. The tears come slow at first; she thinks she can wipe them away, but then she’s sobbing, saying, “I don’t know what to do, I don’t know what to do!”

The intern tries, “Okay, okay. I know this is hard—”

“I saw—” she tries. “I—I saw…”

“You saw it happen?”

A watery, shaky nod.

“Okay. Okay. Just try to tell me as much as you can about what happened. Anything you can remember.”

She tries to, she does, but every time she tries to explain the specifics the tears come faster.

Getting up from his stool, the intern says, “Okay. Here's what’s gonna happen. I’m gonna explain our…situation to the nurse—”

“No!” sh*t, she’s way too loud. “Please,” she adds, quieter. “I'm not…”

“Okay,” he says, sitting back down, trying not to spook her. “Okay. How about—how about I just ask you a few questions about what happened? Maybe then we can tell if your friend needs to come here to get treatment.”

“He’s not coming here,” she answers, far too quickly.

“That’s alright,” Drew says, breaking out his clipboard and pen once more. “I just want to make sure he doesn’t need emergency medical. Can I ask the questions now?”

“Yeah,” she says, but Riri’s uncertain that she’ll be able to open her mouth once he starts asking them.

“Did this happen recently?”

“Yeah,” she says. “Last night.” This morning, really, but she doesn’t want to say that.

“Was it—was it violent? Any possibility of grave injury?”

“I…” she tries, feeling sick. Violently sick—like it was Beck’s lanky fingers on her neck, Beck’s nicotine breath on her skin, Beck’s hairy legs between hers. “I don't know.”

“Can you tell me what kind of sex it was?”

“What?”

“Oral, anal, vagin*l?”

She's swallowing and swallowing and swallowing and can’t seem to get rid of the lump in her throat. “The second one,” she says.

“Okay,” Dr. Drew says. “Did you see any blood? Any other fluids? ejacul*te? Lube?”

She’s never heard someone use that word before. Not outside of high school health class. “Some blood,” she confesses, and the image flashes in front of her eyes again. “I—I—I don’t know about the other stuff. Maybe. I don’t know.”

He scribbles onto the clipboard. “Could you tell me: on a scale of one to ten, how violent it was?”

Riri shakes her head. The image keeps appearing before her eyes: Beck's bare ass, his loosed belt hanging over Peter’s thighs, his hips flush with Peter’s skin, the swollen pink marks on Peter’s hips— “Maybe a seven?” she chokes out.

“Did you see any other injuries?” Drew prompts. “Bruises, scratches, broken bones?”

The wright of that question sinks in, like a knife deep in Riri’s gut. She starts sobbing again, rubbing her hands into her face to clear away the tears. “I… I… I…”

“Alright,” he says, trying to calm her. “That’s okay, that’s okay.”

“It’s my fault!” she cries, because it’s true.

The intern shakes his head. “You didn’t rape him, did you?”

“N-no, but I—”

“Then it’s not your fault. You’re only what, fifteen?”

Fifteen—it’s like a punch in the chest. He's exactly right. She hesitates just a second too long. “Nineteen,” she says, because eighteen sounds like a lie.

The intern purses his lips. “Do you or your friend have insurance?”

She pulls out a wad of cash from her pocket. “Is this enough?” Ross’ donations usually come prepaid—he doesn’t just give them money to spend however they want. This is hers, stocked up from random odd jobs she did before this whole Stark-Parker-weapon thing started.

The intern stares at the money like he’s never seen cash before. Drew looks at her, then back at the money, then back at her. “Uh,” he says. “Okay. Look. Here’s what we’re gonna do. I can't get you a prescription for anything that’s not for you—but I can tell you what over-the-counter items will help your friend. And I can get you free samples of a few other things—that should be enough for some basic care. okay?”

She nods, wiping her tears away. “Okay.”

“Okay.” The man gets up and leaves, closing the door gently behind him. He returns in mere minutes, carrying a plastic bag full of various boxes and tubes. “I'm not sure what’ll work best—I'd have to see him to give him better care, but these might help. We’ve got topical anesthetic—tell him to apply to the area of the fissures. Or to the entire area. Honestly, anything surface-level that hurts. Then we’ve got antibiotics for any STDs, anti-inflammatory ointment for bruises, and then laxatives and fiber supplements—you don’t want to be passing hard stools if you have anal fissures… And some basic first aid. Bandages, topical antibiotics, oral antibiotics, some ibuprofen and acetaminophen…” He passes the bag to her, and she grasps it with both hands, tight. “I know this might be overboard,” Dr. Drew continues, “but you can’t be too cautious. If your friend experiences anything strange—anything that you think might be medically serious, please bring him in.”

She has no clue what most of this means, but she nods anyway.

And, finally, the young doctor says, “One last thing.”

“Yes?”

“Are you safe?”

WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 22 — 2:11 PM

On her way back, Riri drives in circles—round and round the mountain until she’s out of gas and has to stop to fill it up again.

She knows now what she has to do. What she should have done since the start.

She gets back to the bunker around four o’clock with more canned food for the kids and the plastic bag full of medication from the young doctor. Riri goes downstairs first, where she sees Dr. Skivorski, who’s scribbling on empty prescription pads. “Need something?” he asks, pausing in his writing.

Riri stands in the doorway, the plastic bag dangling from one finger. “I don’t know,” she says.

“You sure?” And, when she doesn’t answer: “What’s in the bag?”

She shrugs, rushing past the man to his array of surgical tools. There.Grabbing the biggest scalpel she can find, she wraps it in gauze and stuffs it in the bag with the rest of the medication. “Hey,” the doctor snaps. “I might need that one. Don’t you want the kid to stay alive?”

Pausing, Riri turns to the doctor. “Yes,” she says nervously. She drops her voice to a whisper: “He’s not gonna be here much longer, okay? Catch my drift?”

The gray-haired doctor nods cautiously.

“Good,” she says, and she leaves through the double doors.

Riri thought she was trapped here—that she couldn’t do anything to stop it because she helped them do all of those terrible things. But she doesn’t care anymore. Who cares if she’s liable? Who cares if she’s responsible? She can do something—here—now—to save Peter and Cassie. Maybe even Lang and the doctor, too.

Riri just needs a plan.

After returning upstairs, she heads down the hall to the kids’ cell and opens their door—she forgets to pull out her gun as a warning. She’s getting sloppy.

Inside the cell, Cassie is already cowering beneath the bed while Peter lays, completely silent and unmoving, beside the toilet. He doesn’t even lift his head when she drops the bag onto the floor. “It’s for Peter,” she tells the little girl, because Peter looks asleep. “Could you give it to him when he wakes up?”

She can only see the shadow of a little girl beneath the bed. A hoarse whisper: “He’s not asleep.”

She glances over at the boy. Peter is rolled over in the corner by the toilet, laid on his side and curled into some kind of fetal position, quiet. His jumpsuit is barely on, drawn over his hips but leaving his chest bare enough that she can see every notch in his spine, like the mottled curve of an albino snake. Stupidly, she asks, “Is that the first time he…?”

Peter doesn’t answer.

But Cassie does. “No,” she says, in a near-whisper, and somehow the little girl answering her question is way worse.

Riri resolves herself right then and there—she’s getting these kids out of here.

THURSDAY, AUGUST 23 —6:30 AM

Steve Rogers meets the police officer at a coffee shop in Manhattan. “I thought Barnes was coming,” she says. “We were supposed to go to the next bunker today.”

Steve grimaces. “Yeah,” he says. “Sorry. We just switched. He’s helping our…friend…with her situation. I’ll be helping you from here on out, if that’s okay.”

“Oh,” she says, but she doesn’t seem to have a problem, because she takes out her phone and starts typing into it. “We usually do a Monday/Thursday kind of thing. Is that okay with you?”

“I’m free then,” says Steve with a polite smile. “Buck said you’re looking for your brother?”

“Yeah,” she says.

‘Then let’s find him. You have an idea where you wanna go next?”

She shrugs. “Barnes—uh, Bucky—was kind of taking the lead on that.”

Steve waves his hand. “That’s fine. Bucky gave me a list of the other locations. Coordinates and everything. We can go to Massachusetts, Rhode Island… New Hampshire, even, but that’s a little far.” He squints at the piece of paper in his hand. “That one is the biggest one, though. It’s in the White Mountains, so pretty well hidden. Might be a good spot for people to hole up in.”

The officer shrugs. “You think they’re there?”

“Well, there’s no harm in going for the long shot,” he states. “You wanna try it? It’s a bit of a drive, but if we leave now, we could get there in” —Steve checks his watch— “six hours?”

“Sure,” Officer Julia Paz says. “I've never been to New Hampshire.”

Notes:

COMFORT IS COMING I PROMISE, JUST BE PATIENT YALL

Chapter 18: if i keep going, i won't make it

Summary:

He glances up to find two figures hanging by the bucket; he assumed he was alone at first because those two were so still. It’s a pair of kids—it’s difficult to tell their ages because they’re both so pale, skinny, and grimy. Steve wants to guess… Fourteen and six? The older one has a tangled nest of brown hair and the younger one has black hair cut short and ragged, almost to the scalp. Steve wonders why until he squints closer at the kid’s scalp, where there’s a ton of small white dots. Lice. They must’ve cut the kid’s hair in an attempt to purge the lice from their scalp. The older one seems like a boy, and the younger one might be a girl.

What the hell is HYDRA doing with a couple of kids?

Notes:

i'm sorry about not posting last week, i'm having a sh*t time rn, life is f*cking hard you know? i made this one with a couple extra thousand words tho, plz forgive me lol

title from 'i was never there' by the weeknd

CW: lots of sh*t, murder, violence, torture, references to rape and sexual assault, dubious consent kiss, violence against a minor, drugs

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

THURSDAY, AUGUST 23 — 11:11 AM

Happy’s falling asleep in Avengers Tower when the alert comes through from JARVIS: OPERATION COMPLETE. He jerks awake and promptly spills his cappuccino all over his shirt—it’s cold, so it doesn’t burn. He and Pepper have been trading shifts checking on JARVIS’ updates, sitting in what used to be Tony’s lab.

“Mr. Hogan,” says JARVIS, in a very British tone, “I now have gained access to all electronic devices within the Stark Industries lab upstate. There are several months’ worth of unusual activity on Mr. Stark’s devices—particularly his main television.”

Television? “What kind of activity?”

“Covert activity, sir. As it goes, Mr. Stark has no control over the display on his television. It’s been displaying the same content since” —JARVIS pauses— “April of this year, sir. It appears to be a video. Would you like to see—”

“Yes,” Happy interrupts. “Put it up on the main screen.”

As it comes on, flickering to life in front of Happy, JARVIS announces, “My apologies, sir. It appears the content is not a video.”

“Then what is it?”

Finally, the signal seems to settle. A grainy picture comes into view: a wall spotted with old stains and a man with his head hung low. It’s too close to see anything other than the top of his oily scalp. “It’s a livestream, sir.”

Minutes and minutes—soon the man raises his head, mumbling to himself, until Happy can see him from the shoulders up. He backs away from the camera and walks, no, rolls off the screen in a wheelchair. When he backs up further, Happy can see his legs: they look crushed, but it seems as though someone has attempted to fix them; they’re braced with wooden planks and wound with stretch-tape.

JARVIS speaks again: “Individual identified as Scott Lang, convicted felon. Convicted of burglary of a commercial building in 2012. Incarcerated at San Quentin State Prison until July of 2015. Reported missing in April of 2018.”

April. That’s when Peter went missing. When Tony disappeared into his lab.

“Current suspect in the disappearance of his biological daughter—Cassandra Paxton-Lang.”

“JARVIS,” asks Happy, “when did his daughter go missing?”

A mechanical pause. “According to her public missing persons report, she was taken from her home on April 6th, 2018.”

The same day as the car crash that took Peter Parker and put his aunt in the hospital.

“So this guy’s the one that took Peter?” asks Happy. It makes sense: Scott Lang is a felon, and re-offending rates in the United States is almost fifty percent. But why would Scott Lang want to kidnap a teenager?

He calls in Pepper and that creepy Barnes guy into this room and gets them up to speed. Pepper looks uncomfortable; Bucky Barnes just frowns and folds his arms. “I remember him,” he says.

“Who?” asks Pepper. “The felon?”

He jerks his head up in a nod. “Don’t you remember him, Hogan? He was in Germany with the rest of us.”

Happy shakes his head. He remembers that whole incident—the first time he met Peter was on the way to Germany. They were there to capture Steve and Bucky Barnes, but Happy never left the hotel. It was never his job to fight supersoldiers. “I was never over there,” he said. “I was more…behind the scenes…”

Bucky rolls his eyes. “That’s Ant-Man. Remember? The California disaster? That whole thing with SHIELD and a fugitive from Brazil?”

Happy has no clue what Barnes is talking about. “Sure,” he says. “So…what are you saying? That Ant-Man went rogue, kidnapped his daughter and Peter, and became a supervillain?”

Bucky’s drinking something—coffee, maybe—in small, measured sips. “No,” he says, harsh. “Lang was on our side, and he was—he was a nice guy. Like, one of the most genuine guys I’ve ever met. Kept showing us pictures of his little girl at her soccer games. He was…a good guy. Really good guy.” He gestures his metal arm at the screen. “Besides, look at him. Lang’s definitely not in charge. This guy’s under someone’s thumb.” He puts down his cup next to the computer keyboard. “JARVIS,” he asks, “did Scott Lang have any reported injuries before April 2018 that would cause him to need a wheelchair?”

The AI responds quickly, “None, Mr. Barnes.”

Barnes shrugs his shoulders as if to say: See?

“So someone crippled him,” says Happy. “Why would someone…”

Barnes’ gaze is heavy. “Easy,” he says. “Someone didn’t want him to leave.”

THURSDAY, AUGUST 23 — 1:09 PM

Officer Julia Paz parks her squad car at a campground in the White Mountains in New Hampshire. They have to hike a long way to the bunker, Julia and Steve, so they make some small talk on the way up. “You’re easier to talk to than Barnes,” she commented, because it’s true.

Steve’s quiet. “Bucky’s not much of a talker anymore,” he says.

Right. Bucky is the guy’s name. Not James. Not Barnes. “Nice of you to come along for him,” says Julia.

He shrugs. “Just here to make sure you don’t get into too much trouble, Officer.”

They hike through the trees; the trek is long and a little chilly, but they’re both well-dressed for the weather. Steve’s got on a sweatshirt of Bucky’s and some camo pants. The trek isn’t difficult, but long, and they share a couple protein bars between them on their way up the mountain. “Mount Cabot,” says Steve. “Like the cheese.”

She looks at him oddly.

“They had it when I was a kid,” he says. “We called it something different, though.” He frowns. “Can’t remember what.”

Steve Rogers doesn’t tire or thirst; whenever she pauses to take a drink or catch her breath, he stops and waits politely for her to finish. She supposes it’s this remarkable stamina that made him such a ‘super’ soldier.

“Odds are,” he says, as they’re a few minutes away from the bunker entrance, “your brother is fine. Nobody’s touched these bunkers in a couple years. HYDRA’s long gone—so even if these tattoos are real…it doesn’t mean that HYDRA is back. Maybe someone found the symbol on the Dark Web or something.

She nods. Honestly, she’s surprised he even knows what the Dark Web is. “I know,” she says. “I just…worry, you know?”

He nods, too, kicking aside branches as they walk. “I know.”

They finally get to the spot where the bunker is supposed to be, and all they can find is a cave. Just open bedrock on the side of a mountain.

They search the entire cave for the entrance; it reeks of wet mold and rabbit sh*t. Just when Officer Paz is ready to call it a day, Steve glances down at his phone. “I’ve got signal,” he says, surprised. “We must be close.”

Honestly, she’s surprised he knows what that is. Didn’t he grow up in the time of, like, radio and records?

Steve taps his smartphone, the bluish screen lighting up his side of the cave. Pressing the phone to his ear, he says, “Hey, sorry to bother you, baby.”

She knows the gruff voice on the other line, but she can’t make out any particular words. That’s Bucky Barnes. Did he just call the Winter Soldier baby?

“Yeah,” continues the supersoldier, like he hasn’t just shocked her into silence, “just having some trouble finding the bunker. Do you remember…” More talking on the other line. “Yeah. Okay. At the…? Okay. Okay, great.”

More talking, gruff and low.

“Yes, I promise. I promise. Okay. Yeah, I will.” A light laugh. “Okay—you, too. Go eat something, baby.” There it is again. Baby. She thought she might’ve misheard it the first time. “Okay. Love you.”

A quick response from Barnes, and a spilling of more words.

“Yes, yes, I promise. I’ve got it, Buck. Don’t worry—I’ll be home by midnight, okay? Yeah. Okay, baby. Love you, too. Bye.” Then he hangs up quickly, tucking his phone away in his pocket.

Love you, too. The back and forth, the worry, the terms of endearment—that’s how someone talks to a lover, not a roommate. That’s how Julia talks to her husband on the phone. Are they…

She starts to mention it, but Steve’s already speaking: “Bucky says we gotta go all the way to the back—there should be some kind of sliding panel on the floor.” He turns to the back of the cave, sidestepping cracks in the stone floor.

Julia doesn’t follow him; she’s still blinking at him in disbelief.

The man pauses, sensing her sudden stiffness from behind him. “What?” he says, turning to look at her.

He seems to think something’s wrong. Julia manages, trying to clear the air: “You and Barnes?”

“Bucky,” Steve Rogers says curtly.

“Bucky,” she echoes. “You’re…”

“Together?” he finishes. “Yeah.”

“But you’re… You were born in, like, 1915.”

“1918,” he corrects. “And hom*osexuality existed before the twenty-first century, officer. We just had to be a little more careful about it.”

She gapes. “Um,” she tries. “Cool.”

The supersoldier gives her a strange look, hums lightly, and traces hand over the floor to find the entrance. “Ah,” he says. “Got it.” He hooks his fingers in its edge and pulls up—there is the bunker door, rusted and covered in grime. There are finger-marks all over the door’s handle. “

“But you never…" she continues, still a little hung up on the subject, "I mean, your Wikipedia page has got your whole love story on it—with, um, Peggy Carter? Was that all just…”

“Nobody wants to see Captain America waving a rainbow flag,” he says simply, ignoring her question. “And unless Bucky wants to go public, I'm fine with the public believing whatever the hell they want. Now—could you help me with this thing?”

She kneels down and helps him, propping up the ledge while he punches in the code. It looks different than the others: the door is in the floor, a round door like would be connected to an underground Cold War bunker. She supposes that’s what it is.

He opens the bunker’s lid, revealing a cylindrical hole with a ladder down one side. “Ladies first,” he jokes dryly.

THURSDAY, AUGUST 23 — 2:56 PM

Everyone is in the bunker when they hear it.

A couple people talking, and then a series of clanks—people coming down the ladder. Charlie’s tolerance has been going up lately, so he injects another syringe full of that good angel sh*t into a vein in his forearm and then staggers to the hallway, where everyone’s muttering and clutching their guns like a bunch of f*cking cowards.

“Who is it?” Charlie snarls. Why are they all shuffling and muttering like a bunch of morons?

“Beck’s not here,” says that stupid girl. “Could be him.”

“Doesn’t sound like him,” says another.

“There’s two of them,” chimes in another. “Maybe he brought someone back.”

“SHUT UP!” he shouts. “YOU f*ckING IDIOTS! WHO IS IT?!”

They don’t have much more time to babble on about it, because then the door opens and a dark-haired woman comes strolling through with a figure behind her. She’s in uniform.

“POLICE!” cries one of the soldiers, and he unloads a spray of bullets into the newcomer. Both of them fall—one groans. He didn’t give them the order to shoot—he didn’t give them the order!

Little Riri runs to the bodies and gasps, “Oh my god—you shot Captain America! You shot Captain America.

What the hell is she talking about? His head swimming, Charlie staggers over to the intruders: a woman and a man. One dressed in a police uniform, and the other, well, Captain America in civilian clothes.

“Charlie?” says the first. Her kevlar vest took the brunt of the bullets.”Oh my god—Charlie!”

It’s his sister.

He spins around, gun in hand, and faces the trigger-happy soldier. “YOU SHOT MY SISTER!” he snarls, and he fires at the man: once in crotch, once in the chest, and once in the head for good measure. He turns back to the woman on the ground—his sister!—and he smiles. Charlie feels suddenly happy—that familiar, childhood, ice cream truck happy—for the first time in a long time. “JULIA!” She’s wearing a vest, a thick kevlar one, so the bullets didn’t even hit her. “You’re okay!”

He reaches for his sister, and her face is quickly turning cold—she flinches away from him. “Charlie,” she says again, but his name sounds strange in her mouth. “You just—you just killed that man.”

“We’ll find another!” he assures her, happier than ever, and he helps her up. “Did he hurt you? DID HE HURT YOU?”

Julie, sweet Julia—his sister!—backs up against the wall, and she points shakily at Captain America, who’s groaning and bleeding on the ground, twisting his arms around his quick-darkening torso.

“Oh,” he says. He’d forgotten. “Right.” He snaps at the idiots in the hallway. “Take him downstairs. I SAID TAKE HIM DOWNSTAIRS! GET THE DOCTOR FOR HIM! GO! NOW!”

Then he grins again—his sister is here!—and hugs her tight.

THURSDAY, AUGUST 23 — 3:29 PM

Charlie won’t stop talking.

Julia keeps trying to get a word in, but there’s soldier-like people with guns guarding the doors, and Charlie keeps lunging around with that hammer, laughing every time someone flinch. He’s acting so strange. He keeps dragging her around the place on ‘tours,’ taking her from room to room to room.

This place looks like something out of a horror movie.

There’s the spare rooms: rooms full of used needles and empty baggies of crushed powder. There’s the operating room. The one they dragged Steve Rogers into. Those dim, flickering lights. The doctor who looks like he hasn’t seen the light of day in weeks. Then there’s that room with its bloodstained floors and its creepy metal chair. The rack of torture devices. The camera setup. The crazed man in the wheelchair.

And Charlie takes Julia from one room to the next, even as she protests, grabbing her by the sleeve and pulling her along like a kid displaying a proud tower of blocks. “Charlie,” she says, like she has a million times in the past few hours. “Oh, Charlie, what…”

Her brother hasn’t been in danger. He hasn’t been kidnapped or experimented on or killed. He hasn’t overdosed or drowned or choked on his own vomit.

He’s been… He’s been…

“Charlie,” she says again, and she feels like she’s going to cry. “Charlie, kiddo…” Her voice breaks. It’s what she used to call him when he was little, and it finally makes him turn and face her. “But you haven’t seen the best part,” he says, almost gleeful. “I’ve been waiting to show you—OH, IT’S GONNA BE GREAT! YOU WANT TO SEE?”

She ignores him. “What have you been taking?” she tries, now that she’s got his attention. “We can get you help, we can get you” —to a police station, right away, where you can confess to criminal trespassing, illegal use of a firearm, murder— “back into rehab, right? Don’t you want to be better?”

“Better?” he echoes, and he’s laughing again, that sick, drug-induced laugh. “I’ve never been better, Julie! I’M THE BEST I’VE EVER BEEN!” He laughs and laughs and slaps at his chest, and when he swings the hammer around she jerks away so that it doesn’t slam her in the head. Jesus, Charlie. “YOU GOTTA SEE IT, JULIE! YOU GOTTA SEE! I DID IT, I REALLY DID IT!”

She doesn’t know what Charlie’s talking about, and she’s sure she doesn’t want to know. “What did you do, Charlie?” she asks, quiet.

He grins, his toothy smile obscenely wide. “We got a failsafe, Julia. A failsafe. A f*ckING FAILSAFE! WE GOT THEM!”

Julia’s picturing that man Charlie shot—the soldier. The blood spreading over his pants. His shirt. His face—his head knocked back by the impact of the bullet. The spray of dark blood on the ceiling.

Charlie’s dragging her forth again, pulling her to a stop at a room on the first floor. The star has a giant red star on the front, a slot at the bottom of the door, and no window. It’s like a door in a zoo, the ones hidden in the back of monkey exhibits that zookeepers peek through. “We can’t just get these guys to do what we say,” he continues, talking way too fast. “We need a failsafe, something to keep ‘em in line in case they get any funny ideas—gotta keep these guys on a leash, Julie…”

“Guys? What guys?”

Charlie waves his hand as though to dismiss her, and then he digs through his pockets. “Stark, Lang, all of them! The whole f*cking world, Julie! WE’RE GONNA RULE THE WORLD!”

Stark? Lang?

He finds a set of keys in his pockets, and Charlie fiddles with them before sliding them into a lock on the door. Click. He throws it open and then waves his hands in the air like he’s on a stage. “You see? You see, Julie? It’s all coming together, right? I’m a f*cking genius! I’m a genius!

Inside the room is a bed—alongside a toilet, a sink, and a bucket. And below the bed, huddled beneath it like a couple of feral cats in an old trash can, are two children, bloody and beaten and dirty and dressed in matching jumpsuits. “Charlie,” Julia says, with a sudden shock of sickening horror, “what have you done?” She thinks through a million options: trafficking, prostitution, drug mules… And she quickly shakes her head. Charlie wouldn’t. He couldn’t. “No, no, you didn’t do this,” she says, shaky. “Someone’s making you, right? Someone’s gotta be—“

Charlie’s grin is too wide. “Nah, Julie, this is all me! All me! I did it! I’m gonna be f*cking famous! People—people are gonna write my name in history books! THEY’RE ALL GONNA KNOW MY NAME!”

“Charlie, no…” she says. “This isn’t you—you did this? You—you took these kids? From their homes? What the hell did you do to them?”

“I knew you’d find me!” he continues, like she didn’t even say a word. “I got them all to move the case to you ‘cause I—‘cause I—” He smiles and shakes his head, and his eyes shake like pinballs wobbling in their sockets. “‘Cause I knew if you found me, you could join! YOU COULD HELP ME!”

He’s scaring her; numb with disbelief, she manages, “Charlie… I'm not… I can't just stand by and watch you do this. This is… Oh my god…” She thinks suddenly of what he just said. “Case?” she echoes. “What case?”

Another sickening smile. He’s sweating now, liquid dripping down his face like he’s just run a marathon. He kneels down by the kids, and she stands with her arms folded, trying to figure out what’s going on. Both of them scamper away, but Charlie grabs the little one by the ankle and yanks so hard that the child screams; the big one jumps up to rescue her with a guttural shout, and one of the soldiers—when did he come in?—pins him to the wall with ease.

Charlie lifts her up in the air, letting her dangle by the ankle. “Recognise this little worm?”

The little thing is going pink in the face, coughing wildly and thrashing like a fish out of water.

It takes her a moment.

No.

Oh, no.

It couldn’t be.

But it is. It’s Cassie. Cassandra Marie Paxton-Lang. Daughter of Scott Lang and Maggie Paxton. Step-daughter of Jim Paxton, her co-worker. She’s been looking for this little girl everywhere; and after all this time, she’s been kidnapped by her brother. Her hair is cut ragged, shorn close to her scalp; she’s thin as a twig, covered in dirt, dressed in a torn-up jumpsuit, and sobbing incoherently. Her face is getting redder by the second.

“I did it!” says Charlie.

Julia feels the shock melt into her bones. “Charlie…”

“I knew if you found me—if—if—IF YOU FOUND ME, YOU’D NEVER TELL! AND NOW YOU’RE HERE! YOU’RE HERE!” Then he releases the kid’s ankle; Officer Paz dives for her, catching her sideways and clasping her arms tightly around the little girl’s waist. The child only starts crying harder; Julia can feel her little body tremble against her arms.

“Cassie,” she gasps, trying to calm the girl in vain, who is now clawing violently at Julia’s face. “It’s okay, it’s okay, I’ve got you—

A little fingernail catches her eye—“Ow!”—and as pain burns through her cornea, Julia slaps a hand to her eye, falling to one knee and trying to set the girl down with her other hand.

A growl from Charlie, and suddenly the girl’s weight is gone from her. When Julia looks up, Charlie’s got the little girl by both arms and against the wall; he’s shaking her wildly, her shaved head bouncing back and forth over her bony shoulders. “YOU DON’T TOUCH MY SISTER! YOU DON’T TOUCH HER!”

“Charlie!” she cries, the pain in her eye forgotten, and she lunges at the pair. “Charlie, stop!” She winds her way between them, trying to push him away from the little girl.

Charlie looks at her suddenly, as though just remembering she’s there, this frighteningly intense look in his wild eyes. He’s high. He’s really high. At her command, he releases the girl, who immediately dives under the bed and crawls all the way to the back. He picks up his hammer from where he left it at the door, and Charlie’s form seems to swell: his chest widening with each massive breath, his face pink from exertion, more sweat coming down his forehead and neck.

He’s dangerous.

This isn’t the time. She takes a couple steps back; the back of her legs hit the toilet-rim. “Okay,” she says, trying to come up with a plan. “I’ll join you, okay?”

He drops the hammer; the resounding clank sends the older kid to a round of hyperventilation. She wonders whose child that kid is. Was that another case of hers?

“You will?” he says, glee flashing over his face. “Really?

“Of course,” she lies, with a stray glance at the older kid. “You’re my brother. I don’t care about a couple of kids. Of course I’ll help you.”

THURSDAY, AUGUST 23 — 3:53 PM

Pepper stops watching the livestream, leaving that job to Bucky Barnes and Happy. Nothing has changed on the screen in the last few hours, anyway.

Instead, she visits May Parker, Peter Parker’s injured aunt, in the medbay. The woman is groggy and pale, but at least she’s alive. Pepper takes a seat next to her hospital bed and pats her hand gently so that the woman will wake. “We’re close,” she says, as May’s brown eyes land on hers. “We’re gonna find him.”

May nods vaguely; she’s still having trouble speaking. Dr. Cho says it’s a side effect of being comatose for so long.

“Do you remember anything?” asks Pepper. “Anything about Peter? Anything at all?”

May licks her chapped lips. Her mouth opens, and then closes, and then opens again. “I…wish…I…did…” she manages, her voice croaky and weak. She squeezes Pepper’s hand. “He… He…”

“I’ll find him,” she repeats, insistent. Who the hell is she convincing? “We will. We will.”

The kid’s aunt blinks hard, her brow narrowing. Dazed and clearly tired, she nods again, closing her eyes.

She squeezes Pepper's hand one more time, and she falls asleep.

THURSDAY, AUGUST 23 — 4:58 PM

Steve is thrown into the cell like a sack of meat.

They cuff one of his hands to a bed-railing, one that gets him close enough to the toilet; if he stretches, he can just barely make it. He’s able to sit, and he does, cross-legged against the side of the bed. The railing must be vibranium or vibranium-reinforced, because Steve can’t break himself free.

They stitched him up pretty well—a hollow-eyed doctor with a gray beard did most of the work, bandaged him up without a word as a soldier-clothed man held a gun to his back. It doesn’t hurt much; Steve’s used to being shot. He’ll heal.

The cell flickers with yellowed light—above him, there’s a wire cage around the light-bulbs, probably to keep the inhabitants from using the shattered glass as a weapon. There’s not much in this tiny cell: a bed with no mattress, a rusty sink, a toilet, and a bucket bolted to the floor.

He glances up to find two figures hanging by the bucket; he assumed he was alone at first because those two were so still. It’s a pair of kids—it’s difficult to tell their ages because they’re both so pale, skinny, and grimy. Steve wants to guess… Fourteen and six? The older one has a tangled nest of brown hair and the younger one has black hair cut short and ragged, almost to the scalp. Steve wonders why until he squints closer at the kid’s scalp, where there’s a ton of small white dots. Lice. They must’ve cut the kid’s hair in an attempt to purge the lice from their scalp. The older one seems like a boy, and the younger one might be a girl.

What the hell is HYDRA doing with a couple of kids?

“Hey,” he says. Steve leans towards them, hand outstretched, and the older kid jumps backwards against the wall and f*cking bares his teeth like some kind of animal, eyes bugged wide. The little kid is pinned against the wall behind him. “Hey, so. Uh. HYDRA got you, too, huh?”

The kids say nothing.

The older kid looks f*cking feral; he’s ragged and bloody and skinny as a pencil. There’s a small plastic tube in the back of his hand—is that an IV port? What the hell?

Steve tries again and again to try to approach the kids, to try to get them to talk, but they just flinch away any time he moves. They look so battered, like a couple of shattered records. They look like prisoners of war. So Steve just starts talking. He rambles, talking all about how he got here and how he’s gonna get them out. “I’ve got a watch, see?” he says, gesturing to his cuffed wrist. “They know where I am. They can track me, okay? You’ll be out of here soon.”

No response.

He tries a chuckle to cheer them up. “You know, I’m not even supposed to be here. Me and my boyfriend, you know, we were looking for this missing kid—Peter Parker, some teenager—when this police officer came up to him and asked him to help find her brother. And he did that for a while, but things went south, so we switched. And so now I’m here.” He chuckles again, but the kids stay where they are, frozen against the concrete wall. “God—if it weren’t for Peter Parker, I might not even be here. Bucky would’ve never let his guard down like that…”

At last, the boy speaks. His voice is withdrawn and quiet, so quiet that at first Steve thinks he imagined it. His gaze is dark beneath his shaggy, tangled mess of hair. “You were looking for me?” he whispers.

Steve’s chest goes cold.

He stares at the boy. All the blood seems to drain from his face; his belly twists and coils like a sickly snake.

He remembers the photos. He’s seen dozens upon dozens of photos of Peter Parker. Photos of him grinning at Comic-Con. Laughing at memes. Biting into a sandwich. Getting a science award. Competing at decathlon. Sleeping on a car ride. Doing normal kid things.

And this—this kid looks like some kind of warped, surrealist shell of those photos. Like someone had molded a clay sculpture of him, torn it up with their bare hands, and shove it back together. Parker can’t be more than ninety pounds soaking wet, and his hair looks like it’s never seen a hairbrush, tangled and matted and dark in spots. There’s such significant scarring on all his visible skin that he resembles an abstract splatter painting instead of a teenager. He’s pale as a ghost and rail-thin, and there’s so much bruising on him that he looks like he’s coated in a mottled layer of dirt.

He’s completely unrecognizable as the average high-school teenager in the photos.

This kid…

…is Peter Parker?

Oh, no. No, no, no, no… “Oh my god,” he manages, his voice tainted in horror. “Oh my god. Peter?”

Peter—if that is truly Peter—seems to regret the words as soon as he’s spoken them, flattening himself and the girl against the wall. Neither him nor the girl say a word.

He feels sick. How did they… What happened to him? What is he even doing here? How did he… The whole time, the police officer’s creep of a brother had taken him? But that meant… “Oh my god—what did they do to you?”

Peter and the girl remain eerily silent. They’re growing more wary of him by the second.

“Do you… You remember me? It's Steve. Steve Rogers. Remember?” Steve leans towards him, hand out, trying to offer him a gesture of peace; but clearly that was a mistake, because Peter Parker flinches so violently that he falls into the wall, sharp breaths coming out through his crooked nose, hand raised to protect his head, eyes wide open like a deer in headlights.

He quickly pulls his hand back. “Peter. Hey. It's Steve Rogers. Steve.” He pats his chest, trying to prove it: I’m here. I’m here to help. “From Brooklyn. You’re from Queens. You remember me?”

The kid’s watching him like he’s never seen another person before, taking in his every breath, tracking his every move with his wary, bloodshot eyes.

“I met you in Germany, you were fighting with Iron Man, you… You shot webs out of your hands?”

No recognition. Nothing. The kid’s eyes look hollowed out—his pupils large and unfocused.

The little kid pipes up, tugging at the kid’s pants leg, whispering, “Peter, look—it’s Captain America.”

Steve feels suddenly stupid; that’s the first thing he should’ve said. “That's me. Captain America. You remember me? I'm a friend of Tony Stark's.” That's probably the opposite of the truth, but he needs to get this kid to recognize he’s on his side.

At the man’s name, the boy—Peter—flinches, glancing suddenly to the door and back at him.

The kid’s got his other hand holding the little one back, his palm at her shoulder, her small hand curled around his larger one. “They shot him,” whispers the little girl, and it haunts him that she knows what gunshot wounds look like. “Is he a bad guy?”

Peter doesn’t answer. He doesn’t move his head to give her a sign. He just…stands there, rigid as ever. His chest is heaving—he’s hyperventilating.

“You remember me? It's Captain America. Remember? I know I'm not in uniform…”

Slowly, cautiously, Peter nods. Then, he leans down and he’s whispering to the little girl. They talk quietly. Like, really quietly. So quietly that Steve doubts his ability to hear at that range.

Jesus Christ. Steve tries, “How long have you been…here?” That’s a stupid question. He knows how long they’ve been gone. Pepper said the day they went missing was the night of April 6th. So that means Peter’s been missing for about four and a half months. He doesn’t know about the girl, though…

So much time has passed that he’s already forgotten he asked the question when he sees Peter give an imperceptible shrug.

He doesn’t know? He doesn’t know how long he’s been gone? “Peter,” he says, shocked to stupidity, “you don’t know?” Steve looks to the wall behind the kids—there’s dozens and dozens of tally marks in solid groups of five; then, on the other wall, tally marks made vertically in groups of five, that go and go until they eventually just stop.

Clearly, the kid’s not up for a conversation because he doesn’t even make a sign that he’s heard Steve speak. He just stares at Steve, and then up at the cuff binding Steve to the pipe, and then back at Steve again. “What about her? When did she—”

Peter’s eyes flash; he moves further in front of the little girl and fully blocking her from view.

Steve gives up on conversation. These kids are like a pair of scared rabbits, jumping at every interval. His attempts to talk are only making it worse.

They spend the next couple hours in eerie near-silence. The kids don’t talk to him at all, no matter what he says. It’s creepy. Sometimes, the little girl will tug on his hand and whisper into his ear, while Peter nods or shakes his head in response. If she’s too loud, Peter will hush her with a little sound between his teeth, and the little girl will go quiet.

They don’t smile.

Not even a little bit.

Everything they do—every word, every motion, every breath—it’s all muted as though through a dampener. They’re so quiet, so still. Like ghosts of children.

Eventually, their captors come by and slide a few tin cans through the slot. Peter barely moves; the little girl scrambles to the door, snatches them before Steve can get to them, and scrambles back to Peter. She pulls a can opener from the bucket and pries up each lid: a few cans of tomato sauce and a couple cans of sliced peaches. They chow down those cans in seconds, so fast that it makes Steve’s stomach turn. They’re barely even chewing, just swallowing in great, desperate gulps.

He doesn’t mind that they don’t offer him a scrap of food, not really. He knows they need it more, by the looks of them, so he’ll gladly give it up. When they’re done chewing, they move to the sink and fill the cans with water, and drink that, too. Again. And again. And again.

What the f*ck. They’re getting every scrap of nutrients from their food by rinsing out those cups.

They fall into another uncomfortable silence; the kids watch him the whole time, staring at him like he’s a bug under a microscope. The kids don’t turn their backs on Steve. Not once.

He tries to come up with a plan. It was only a matter of time before Bucky realized he was gone—and he knew they were headed for the New Hampshire bunker, anyway.

Steve said he’d be back by midnight at the latest, so by midnight Bucky had to come looking.

But something told him they couldn’t wait that long.

THURSDAY, AUGUST 23 — 6:01 PM

These kids are shivering. They’re dressed identically, in rough black prisoner’s uniforms, and they’re shivering like a couple leaves in the wind. Steve doesn’t feel the cold—he runs a few degrees too warm because of the serum—so he takes off his hoodie, tearing it open on one side to get it off his cuffed arm. “Here,” he says, offering it to them. “I wish I had another one, but… Sorry.”

The little girl clearly wants it. Her brown eyes grow big with want, and she reaches out a little before shrinking, cowering behind Peter. The boy is still suspicious of Steve; he doesn’t shake his head or nod, but simply whispers something to the little kid as they both back into the wall.

“It’s cold in here,” says Steve. “Please take it. You guys are shivering.” It’s a little warmer than outside, so there must be some heating in here, but not much.

The girl’s whispering again, and Peter Parker shakes his bruised head slightly without lifting his gaze from Steve. No.

Why won’t they take it? “Seriously,” he says, “it’s okay. I run warm.”

Unmoving, the kids stare at him. Like two cracked statues in a museum or a pair of disjointed faces in a Picasso painting. They stare and they stare and they stare. Those two sets of brown eyes watch him for too long. Then the little girl is whispering again into Peter’s ear; finally, Peter tips his head against the wall, like he’s giving in, and he swallows hard, his Adam’s apple bobbing. He blinks up at the ceiling, takes the sweatshirt with shaky hands, and passes it to the little girl. She immediately pulls it over her head and snuggles deeply into it, pulling the hood-strings taut and going quiet.

Peter whispers something to her, and she looks at him before scampering over Steve’s outstretched leg to hide under the bed.

Peter gazes at Steve then, the first bit of eye contact that feels remotely lucid; his eyes look something dull and cracked, like old concrete. “Listen,” he says, his voice worn and croaky, “you only get me; you don’t get her, okay?”

Steve feels that twist in his stomach again. This is the first actual sentence Peter’s said since Steve arrived, and it’s so vague. “What?” he says, but he’s not sure Peter hears.

“I’ll be good for you, I will, just—don’t go near her, okay?” He’s shaking. He's shaking. Peter slides over, using the wall as a guide, and grabs the bed-railing before sitting uncomfortably on the bed. He's fiddling with the buttons on his jumpsuit, but his hands are trembling too badly to get them open. “I won't fight.”

One button open. Then two. Three.

And then they just sit there. Staring at each other.

Get her? Good for you? What the hell is this kid on?—and he must be on something, because no one’s pupils look like that f*cking naturally.

When Steve doesn’t move, Peter becomes almost hysterical—Steve still has no idea what’s going on. The kid’s full-on freaking out, gasping hard. “Okay,” he says. “Okay. Okay…okay.” He slides down to the floor and half-crawls over to Steve. What the f*ck is going on? There’s something wrong with his leg, because the kid’s limping badly, favoring his left one. Soon Peter’s close enough that Steve can see each scar on the kid’s face. What happened to his ear? It looks melted, like—

The kid’s skinny hand is on his knee. By the back of his knuckles is an clear plastic IV port, one that must go directly to the dorsal vein—are they drugging him?

“Peter,” says Steve, but that stone in his belly keeps sinking, “what are you—”

The kid leans in to him (for a stupid split seocond, Steve thinks he’s going for a hug) and kisses Steve’s neck, open-mouthed, with a little tongue—

Steve shoves him backwards—it’s instinct, pure instinct—lightly, but Peter’s so thin that it bowls him right over. “Whoa, what the hell—“

Peter falls onto his side, and he has trouble getting back up—the kid holds his ribcage, trying to put pressure on his leg before collapsing again. Steve moves to help him up and Peter curls in on himself, cowering and choking out, “I'm sorry—sorry—I'm sorry—” He’s trembling so badly that he can barely get a couple words out.

So he draws his hand back again. “Peter—I’m not gonna hurt you. Or the little girl.”

Peter's bony chest is heaving. His eyes are trained on Steve like a dog to its master. He moves—Peter flinches. He talks—Peter flinches again. “Peter,” he says again. “why would you—” Then Steve glances towards Cassie, and Peter makes a choked sound.

“Don’t,” Peter says, like he didn’t even hear Steve speak, “touch her.”

“I'm not going to,” he says, and he feels like a kid pleading to his mother. He feels more nauseous by the second. “I'm not gonna touch anyone, okay? I’m gonna stay right here.” He raises his hands like he’s surrendering, and he backs as far as he can against the bed without melding into the wall itself. “Jesus Christ,” he whispers to himself. What the actual f*ck.

He doesn't know how he could’ve been so delusional about this whole thing—how he could just assume that Peter was probably okay. He was far too used to superheroes going missing: detained on the Raft or escaped to Europe or gone into space. Not that those were any better, but they weren’t something out of a f*cking snuff film. All of that—all of his experience with victims of every kind of horror and still he’d been delusional. All of that—and he’d assumed something had happened to him that was just the same. That Peter had just gone on the wrong space-flight to the wrong planet. Or gotten entangled with the wrong aliens. Or fallen in love with an AI and ran away to Edinburgh. Or gotten stuck on Asgard. These heroes—whenever they popped back up, they were always okay.

But Peter Parker’s been here. The whole time, he’s been here, four hundred miles from home, in f*cking New Hampshire of all places. He’s been here, being beaten, starved, tortured, and—his mind blanks out over the word, but he has to think it—raped. There's no normal way to get scars like that. To get reactions like that. To make Peter Parker come on to him because he’s given him a f*cking sweatshirt of all things.

Now, Peter’s treating him like a sex offender and the little girl’s looking at him like he’s the holy grail, all because of a stupid sweatshirt.

Steve's having trouble keeping down his breakfast.

The little girl is crying—silently, but Steve has excellent hearing. He knows what tears sound like. Peter’s still staring at him like Steve’s about to jump him. Does the kid even recognize him at all?

“Peter,” he says again, because he’s having trouble thinking straight and saying this kid’s name is helping this all feel a bit more real. “Peter, hey. I don’t want anything from you, okay? Or from the girl. I’m not—I’m not gonna…” He’s losing his ability to complete rational sentences. “I’m Steve Rogers. I’m Steve Rogers. I’m here to help you.”

Usually, his name alone is enough to calm someone down.

But Peter… Peter’s anything but calm.

THURSDAY, AUGUST 23 — 6:57 PM

It takes too long for those HYDRA-adjacent assholes come back.

They come in a horde—some dressed in HYDRA-soldier gear and some in sweatshirts and jeans. The bearded junkie—Charlie, the police officer’s brother—whistles, a sharp sound, like the call of a hawk, and Peter Parker lunges to the wall like a trained dog, knees wobbling as he presses his front to the wall. The kid puts his hands behind his back.

Steve notices now the marks on his arms—identical circles around each wrist made of peeling skin and exposed, bloody dermis—and feels sick. Bucky has those scars; they’re from fighting against restraints.

Steve tries to stand, but his vibranium cuffs only allow him into an awkward kneeling position. “Hey!” he shouts. “Hey, assholes! You gonna tell me what’s going on here? Hey! I’m talking to you! Hey!”

They completely ignore him, most of them crowding around Peter, some even poking at him so the boy flinches. “Peter, listen to me—I’m gonna get us out of this—”

They force a pair of thick metal cuffs around his wrists, and Peter lets out a sharp shriek, thrashing suddenly; someone punches him in the stomach to shut him up.

He yanks at his cuffs, harder and harder—but they won’t budge, still tight on his wrists. “Hey! Don’t touch him! What are you doing? HEY! DON’T TOUCH HIM! HEY! I’M WARNING YOU!” He’s screaming without purpose—yelling and yelling because he can see the panic-stricken Peter Parker cower under the touch of these people, f*cking shivering in newfound terror.


Steve thought the kid was scared before; no, Peter Parker is scared now. Petrified. Unable to even get a word out and making strange, gasping noises through his mouth.

They re-twist cuff, each making a clicking sound as they tighten; one of the soldiers grabs Peter by the upper arm, and his meaty fist dwarfs the kid’s skinny arm. The kid’s sobbing into the wall, still half-keeled over from the blow to his stomach.

Slowly, sickeningly, Steve Rogers realizes what’s going to happen.

Pepper knew Peter Parker’s disappearance had something to do with Tony locking himself in his lab. She was right. Charlie—however he did it—must’ve known that Peter Parker was a soft spot for Tony Stark. Steve doesn’t know much about their relationship, but he knows enough. By kidnapping Peter, well, they could get Tony Stark to dance a jig on live television if they asked.

If they wanted something from Tony—technology, information, money, weaponry—all they had to do was use Peter.

And if Tony stepped out of line…

Steve looks back at the boy. The bruising darkening his face, the scarring on his skin, the fear trembling in his body.

…then Peter would suffer.

His stomach sinks into a pit, curdles into something hard and sour. “Wait,” he says, as they drag the now-cuffed Peter out the door. “Wait—no, wait—take me! Take me, instead! PLEASE, TAKE ME! TAKE ME INSTEAD!”

The soldier tosses Peter in the hallway like he’s tossing a garbage bag into a dumpster; Steve hears the thunk and the following groan as Peter’s head hits the hallway wall.

Steve throws his free fist at the concrete bedframe, and the whole surface splinters into a web of concrete cracks. “Hey! Hey! Peter! LET HIM GO! LET HIM GO!

There’s sounds then: whimpering and sobbing and incoherent stammering. A smack, like flesh against flesh, and the kid goes quiet.

Steve keeps shouting at the door as though that f*cker Charlie will listen. “Peter! PETER! PETER!”

He pulls hard at his hands at the cuffs, and he yanks again—and the metal scrapes against his wrist and pulls tight against the lower part of his hand. It won’t fit over his thumb; Steve can’t get it off.

He needs a plan. He needs a plan.

He has to get out of here. Now.

THURSDAY, AUGUST 23 — 7:02 PM

Steve’s not answering his phone.

Bucky’s this close to going ballistic. As Happy continues to track the livestream, speaking with JARVIS as they try to get a location from the damned thing, Bucky keeps dialing Steve. He’s got the number memorized—of course—but now he’s starting to doubt that he even knows the number at all. Is his phone broken? “Hogan,” he snaps, his voice more of a grunt. “Give me your phone.”

Hogan doesn’t even respond. Still wrapped up in that livestream of the ex-felon Lang’s face. It’s not like it’s changed all day; there’s no need to even monitor it at this point.

“Hogan,” Bucky says again, adamant. “Your phone—”

He turns, and Hogan’s standing with his hands against the chair, gripping it like it’s his salvation. Following the man’s eyeline to the computer screen, he sees it, too.

The livestream has changed.

The camera is moving; Lang has must be carrying it because it shakily moves, turning around to spot a small room: a grimy, mostly-cement room with floor-stains and a chair in the center. There’s a bearded man beside the chair, and he’s smiling.

Bucky goes weak in the knees; he’s suddenly dizzy, his pulse slowing his blood to a congealed stop. “That’s…” he tries, but he can’t find anything but the gun in his belt. He takes it, finds the familiar trigger, and tries to gather himself. He can feel each of his eyes in their sockets.

Pepper was on the phone in the corner; now, she comes over to them, one hand on her pregnant belly. She must’ve heard their discomfort. “What’s happened?” She stops in her tracks as soon as she sees the movement on the JARVIS’ screen.

On the screen, people fill into the room, some dressed in HYDRA-soldier gear and others dressed normally. Dragged in by a pair of soldiers is a person with his head ducked low. Shaggy, dirty hair hangs over his face, long and unruly. He doesn’t fight them.

A couple of the others flatten the chair into a long surface—like a table. They shove him on top of it, faceup, and the person starts to flail, lashing skinny limbs out before he is strapped down.

Nausea punches him in the stomach. Bucky knows this room. Those walls. This chair. Those cuffs. He pales; “That’s,” he tries again, but he can’t finish his sentence without wanting to regurgitate the entire contents of his stomach.

“What?” asks Pepper. “You know where that is? Who is that?”

Bucky can’t take his eyes off the screen.

The people on screen are talking, some shouting. JARVIS has no audio, so they can’t hear a word. One comes near the boy on the table and his mouth opens up—he’s screaming. Bucky can’t hear a thing, but he knows. That boy is screaming.

“It’s Peter,’ whispers Happy suddenly, breaking the silence to touch his hand to the glowing monitor. “That’s Peter.”

All three of them lean in to the screen.

The boy’s head keeps thrashing—so the grainy picture doesn’t get them a good glimpse of his face.

Then a man comes from behind the camera, a brown-haired guy with a beard and khaki pants, and he pins the kid’s head to the table with one hand, shoving his hair back to lean in and say something in the kid’s ear. The thrashing worsens, blood coming down the restraints on the table.

They can see his face now, stilled by the brown-haired man’s hand. Big brown eyes only made larger by his gaunt, sallow cheeks. A mass of tangled brown hair. Thin white limbs.

He’s starved, filthy, and beaten bloody, but that’s Peter Parker. There’s no doubt about it.

It’s Peter.

Notes:

thanks for being so patient, love u all

if there's any typos or plot holes or other random sh*t plz let me know cuz i wrote most of this at like 3 am cuz i can't f*cking sleep

also if it's not clear they're getting rescued next chap- sh*t's gonna go down.

also i think i made julia seem a little hom*ophobic but that's not supposed to be the vibe at all, i was just explaining why steve and bucky r so private about it, she's just kinda surprised haha

Chapter 19: (you’re gonna die) i’m gonna kill you

Summary:

The man chuckles, not even bothering to turn away from Peter. “Captain, you’re not getting out of those things, so I wouldn’t even bother trying.” He touches the kid’s face, and he cries harder, and Steve pulls harder against the restraint. “Peter’s been here a good long while, and he’s never broken out, have you, sweetheart?”

Notes:

chap title is from 'nowhere to run' by stegosaurus rex

CW: a lot of sh*t, torture, graphic violence, non-penetrative sexual assault, murder, attempted murder, violence against a minor, drug use.

IM SORRY IM STRETCHING OUT THE RESCUE MORE, A LOT OF sh*t IS GOING DOWN AT ONCE AND I NEED TO WRITE IT ALL, DONT BE MAD

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

THURSDAY, AUGUST 23 — 7:09 PM

Tony’s tremors have become debilitating; his hands shake so badly from lack of sleep that Dum-E has to pick up the phone and hand it to him when Charlie Keene calls. “Another day, another dollar, right, Stark?” laughs the junkie. “What should we do to your boy today?”

Peter’s strapped faceup on a table; they’ve buckled something around his head—a blindfold—and he’s throwing his head from side to side in failed attempts to get it off, slamming his skull against the metal table in loud bang s.

Tony hates that he knows what hurts the least; a beating, maybe, or a knife. He doesn’t want to see the kid get waterboarded again. “Please,” he begs, tears already pouring down his bearded face. “I… I’ve been working so hard… The weapon—it-it works, it does, it’s just not magic , I can’t recreate the Tesse—”

“Shut the f*ck up!” shouts Keene. “I didn’t ask for your excuses! You think you’re smarter than me, Stark? You think you know better than me?”

“No,” he says, quickly and without complaint. He shouldn’t have said anything at all. On screen, the kid is screaming even though no one’s touching him. No words. Just an endless loop of panic-stricken screaming.

“Could someone shut him up! ” A man in khakis with a brown beard jumps at the opportunity, moving forward and pinning Peter’s head to the table before shoving a hand over his mouth and saying something into his ear.

Peter thrashes suddenly, his limbs fighting the restraints so violently that red slides down his wrists and ankles, still screaming and screaming through his raw throat: a high-pitched, terrified sound, barely muffled through the man’s hand.

“Parker!” Keene screams. “You need me to shut that mouth for you? I’M HAVING A CONVERSATION HERE—SHUT UP OR I’LL CUT YOUR f*ckING TONGUE OUT!”

It’s like Peter doesn’t even hear a word the junkie’s saying. He. Just. Keeps. Screaming.

Baring a mouthful of teeth decayed by meth, Charlie scowls deeply, turns, and lunges at the kid.

“No!” cries Tony, helpless panic surging through his exhausted body. “No, he doesn’t know, he doesn’t know, please… Please…”

But Charlie Keene has dropped the phone. “I SAID SHUT UP! ” He gets on top of the kid, straddling him on the table, and Peter goes ballistic, hips bucking, his screams becoming shrill and alien.

The man gets two hands around the kid’s throat and squeezes.

Peter’s screams wane into strangled mewls and then—croaky, frantic gagging. “I TOLD YOU! f*ckING SPIDER-BITCH! I TOLD YOU TO SHUT UP!” His grimy fingers press into Peter’s windpipe, and the kid’s face is going red.

“PETER!” sobs Tony. “Please, please, he doesn’t know, he doesn’t know… LET HIM GO! HE CAN’T BREATHE! LET HIM GO!”

Peter flails against his restraints, back and forth and back again; more blood trickles down the vibranium-reinforced straps. The kid kicks and thrashes and kicks again, and then his movement slows, his hands opening and closing, Charlie’s hands still lock-tight around his neck.

You’re killing him! Stop, stop , stop, YOU'RE KILLING HIM!

Some of the other junkies in the room seem to notice, because a couple of them come forward, pulling at Charlie’s hands as Peter goes deadly still. They manage to get him off after some encouragement, and after some puffs of air into the kid’s unconscious mouth, Peter coughs back to life, stirring dazedly, eyes still closed. He groans, his voice sounding like a rag in a broken wringer.

Clutching the phone to his ear, Tony curls up on the floor, listening to his boy make those horrible sounds.

Tony sobs.

THURSDAY, AUGUST 23 — 7:16 PM

The screen shakes; Bucky watches someone sticks a needle in Peter’s thigh and plunges; the kid jerks awake after a few seconds, whimpering, his voice now raspy and quiet.

“Get me a location,” Pepper demands. “JARVIS, what’s the location?”

“Unable to retrieve location,” JARVIS announces. “But there is an audio coming through the phone in the main room. It seems a call has been going on since seven o’clock.”

“Put it through,” she announces, typing away on her phone.

The audio crackles and fizzles; a voice comes through, sharp and loud. “—please, please… ” Stammery sobbing. That’s Tony ’s voice. “Oh, god—Peter, I’m so sorry… I’m so—so sorry…”

And then, in the background, a male voice from far away: “…TAKE ME, TAKE ME, PLEASE, HE’S JUST A KID!”

Bucky goes cold.

He knows that voice better than he knows his own.

That’s Steve.

“I know where they are,” he says, and he turns rigidly to Pepper. “Where’s the Quinjet?”

Her face goes blank. “It’s—it’s upstate. We haven’t moved that stuff yet. Where—where are they?”

Bucky's voice is low and sharp like a newly sharpened knife. “New f*cking Hampshire.”

Bucky doesn’t waste a single second.

They instruct Pepper and Happy to go upstate to rescue Tony; Rhodey and Bucky ride the motorcycle, Rhodey hugging Bucky from behind and yelling, “Oh my god!” every five seconds because he’s clearly never been on one. He dials Nat as he’s whipping past cars and running red lights. “Meet me at the airport,” he says as soon as Romanoff picks up the phone.

“We’re not driving up to the compound?” calls out Rhodey, hugging Bucky tightly to avoid falling off the bike.

Bucky ignores him. On the phone, Nat says, “What happened?”

He continues, “Get anyone else you can—i’m sending you the location. I’m gonna find a plane.”

Driving all the way would take seven hours at least. He doesn’t have that kind of time. Steve’s in trouble. “A plane?” echoes Nat over speakerphone.

Bucky takes a hard turn at a spotlight and hits a pothole hard . He’s driving this bike faster than he ever has, whipping around corners and slipping between parked cars. “We’ve alerted local police to the situation, but they’re gonna need a lot of help. Find Barton, Banner, whoever—I don’t care. Every second counts, you hear me?” says Bucky, and his voice is so loud that the phone crackles. “Every second , Nat.”

“They got Steve,” she says, not a question but a sudden mutual understanding. She goes quiet for a moment. “ETA seven minutes. Meet you on the tarmac.”

They make it to the nearest airport in record time—LaGuardia in Queens—and Bucky stops the bike in a no-parking lane before running inside. Rhodey runs in after him. “We should probably wait for backup!”

He ignores him; they have to give up their weapons before security, and then Nat gets them through to a medium-sized passenger plane sitting off the runway where Sam Wilson and Clint Barton stand next to it. “They’re all I could get on short notice,” Romanoff says. “Friend of mine runs ghost flights from here to Boston. I can get us close to the coordinates.”

“We have anyone else?” asks Rhodey, and Bucky startles. He forgot he brought Rhodes here with him. “Got no clue where to find Point Break or Banner.”

“They’ll do,” answers Bucky, his voice dry of emotion. “How soon to liftoff?”

Romanoff lifts her chin. “Thirteen minutes.”

“We need a copilot?”

“That’s what Wilson’s here for.”

“Good,” he says darkly. His voice doesn’t sound like his own. “Let’s move.”

THURSDAY, AUGUST 23 — 7:41 PM

Steve can’t unhear what’s going on down the hall. Sounds and protests and pleas and begging as they go down the hallway, and then—

Crying. Sobbing.

Screaming.

Screaming and screaming.

Coughing and gagging.

Then silence.

The silence is the worst part.

Steve is a big man—muscular and formidable—but he feels bodily weak. There’s nothing he can do. He can’t break the cuffs. He can’t break the door down.

Steve Rogers is helpless.

Completely, utterly helpless.

The little girl hides beneath the bed the entire time, occasionally whispering to herself but mostly remaining quiet.

When they finally bring Peter back in, they toss him facedown on the ground and leave him sprawled there before they lock the door behind him.

Bile rises in Steve's throat.

“Peter,” he tries. His chest hurts from the bullet wounds, but he can feel them closing up. He’s still got super healing; he thought that Spider-man had super healing, too. Why isn’t he healing?

The kid just lays there, limp. Five minutes pass. Ten minutes. Fifteen. Twenty. It's like he’s unconscious, but he’s not breathing like someone who’s unconscious. And then he’s making these horrible gasping sounds; he’s not even saying words, just these sounds.

“Peter,” he tries again, because he has no f*cking clue what else to say, “hey—hey—they’re gone. They’re gone. You’re safe now.”

No response.

Minutes pass, and eventually the boy makes these gasping, shuddering noises. His whole body is shaking. Then Peter shakily coughs against the ground—a spatter of saliva—and he gags and shudders and then he gags again, and then he pukes all over the middle of the floor.

Horrifically, Steve recognizes the food from earlier: his stomach contents are just a slimy, barely-digested pool of tomato sauce and sliced peaches.

Peter collapses next to the vomit.

The little girl crawls out from under the bed then, crawling over Steve’s legs; she climbs onto the bed and reaches up to the pipes above, where strips of cloth hang. They look like real strips of clothes—faded kid’s clothes and jeans and T-shirts. She grabs a handful with her good arm and climbs down to the floor to start cleaning it up.

This is not the first time she’s done this.

Automatically, Steve moves to help her but the girl nearly jumps out of her skin when he moves, so he backs off again.

The little girl keeps cleaning, wiping up vomit and rinsing out the rags in the sink until the floor is mostly clean, and then she goes down to Peter and starts whispering. God damn it. She's seen him like this before.

Peter doesn’t make a move to tell her that she’s heard her. She takes a clean can—an empty one—fills it with water, and places it by Peter's head. Then she sits against the wall with her arm around her knees, quiet. She has that blank stare, too. Like a sheet of paper or an empty parking lot or a licked-clean plate.

She sits, and she stares at Steve.

She just stares.

She’s swaddled up in his sweatshirt—it was a gift from Bucky, actually, and it's a cotton hoodie, royal-blue with Coca-Cola on the front: the old fashioned logo. It has strands that she pulls tight, looking like a turtle in a shell. She tucks her knees into the torso, huddling inside.

The little girl just keeps staring at him as the minutes pass.

Steve didn’t see what they did to Peter Parker while he was gone—but he can see the collar of hand-shaped marks forming around his neck, layered over old scars and older bruises. When Peter opens his eyes, Steve sees the red bursts of popped blood vessels in his eyes; they strangled him.

Eventually, Peter stirs, and then, weak and clearly in pain, he crawls to the corner opposite of Steve and just collapses there in the fetal position, curled into a ball like a dog who knows it’s going to die.

What the f*ck. What the actual f*ck .

THURSDAY, AUGUST 23 — 9:03 PM

It takes some time for Peter to become lucid again; even when he’s up and blinking, he still doesn’t say anything, wincing as he swallows and coughing weakly into the open air. Even then, he doesn’t talk to Steve. He hasn’t said anything to him since the sweatshirt incident, even as Steve tries and tries again to come up with an escape plan. “I have a knife,” suggests the little girl, and she pulls something shiny and metal from her pocket.

Peter makes that hiss between his teeth to hush Cassie, and the girl goes quiet.

The ‘knife’ she’s referring to is small scalpel, an itty metal thing that probably couldn’t cause much harm. But it’s something . They’ve got the can opener, too, and that could do some damage if it’s swung hard enough.

Soon the little girl climbs into Peter’s lap, and the touch doesn’t seem to bother the kid. He simply holds her like she’s his own child, wrapping his arms around her and stroking the back of her buzzed hair. She starts crying at the gentle touch, burying her face into his shoulder, and whispers to him so quietly that Steve can’t hear it, and he kisses the top of her head.

It’s in such contradiction to what he saw a couple of hours ago—the violent fear, the trembling sobs—now replaced by a numbed warmth. Peter doesn’t seem all the way present; his eyes spacey and delirious with pain, his hand moving in minute, gentle strokes over the little girl’s head. He holds her as a parent holds a child, not as a random kid he’s been thrown into a cell with; the girl cries herself to sleep, eventually falling quiet with tear-tracks dried on her face. He continues to cradle the girl, breathing in raspy half-gulps of air. He hasn’t spoken any words since he got back—Steve thinks they may have royally screwed his voice for a while.

Although the kid seems exhausted, his eyes drifting closed, he keeps forcing his eyes back open to watch Steve—staring like Steve’s a rapid dog and he’s a kid on a front porch. If anyone’s a rapid dog here, thinks Steve, it’s Peter—with his bloodshot eyes and crazed focus on Steve, he looks like a rabid dog that’s gotten a scent of spilt blood, like he would jump Steve at any moment. Eventually, though, the kid gets too tired to keep his eyes open and pushes Cassie—past Steve’s crossed legs—under the bed, sliding the girl underneath. Then he pushes himself beneath the bed, too, blocking Cassie with his prone body.

Steve feels a sudden wave of disturbed realization; Peter Parker is using himself as a human shield for the little girl. He is the dam, the shell, the door to the girl’s panic room. So if Steve ever tried to get anywhere near the girl, Steve would have to pry Peter from the bed. The little girl is protected on all sides: by the wall, the legs and bars of the bed, and the last side is Peter. Peter, the fortress of flesh.

What the hell have these people put him through?

By the time their door opens again, Steve has chafed his wrist bloody trying to get out of the handcuffs.

Vibranium is stronger than bone, he thinks. Vibranium is stronger than bone.

Steve just needs to get enough weight on the cuff—he could shatter his thumb-bone against the vibranium cuff and slip his broken hand through the metal ring.

The door closes behind the man.

This time, it’s only one man who enters instead of a crowd of drug-addled addicts. He’s brown haired, with thick brows and dark brown eyes. He’s tall but well-built, maybe forty, and he reeks of cigarette smoke. His fly is down.

The man clicks his tongue, a soft sound, and he smiles . “I heard they brought in a couple of peeping toms,” he says, with a lilt of amusem*nt to his voice. He doesn’t seem as high as the others, but he does seem a little off—drunk, maybe.

He grabs the front of his pants, adjusting himself, and Steve looks away.

Peter’s still unaware, motionless, under the bed where his body still shields the little girl. Steve’s not sure he’s even conscious. “Hey,” says Steve, trying to draw his attention away from the boy. “What’s going on here, huh? He’s just a kid.”

The man’s eyes light up a little at that, and when he gets close, close enough to reach Peter, Steve lunges at the man’s legs, trying to take him out, and the man swings— crack!

Steve didn’t realize the man had a weapon.

It’s a metal thing, maybe a hatchet or a hammer, but he can’t tell because Steve’s now flat on his back, his head ringing with the impact, groaning. He presses his hand to his skull as he hears the man start to talk. He turns his head and sees the man crouch by the bed, attention completely focused on Peter. He licks his lips and says, “Petey?” with a little smile on his face.

Peter Parker jerks awake, and he suddenly looks like he’s been sucked dry—the fear is palpable in him, in the way his fingers scramble for purchase in the concrete floor, in the way he quickly backs further under the bed despite the obvious pain he’s in.

“Come on out, Petey,” the man says, in that sing-song tone.

There’s a moment, and then Peter slides out from under the bed, his whole body trembling. He clutches tightly at the bed-railing opposite Steve, like he knows better than to run, and the man crouches by him.

It clicks suddenly in Steve’s mind: the undone zipper, the lone approach, the focus on Peter…

Oh, f*ck, no.

“Charlie brought us a little spectator, huh?” He’s closer and closer to Peter, but Steve’s head is still swimming from the hit, and he can’t see straight until the man’s already dragged the boy into the opposite corner. “You want America’s favorite Star-Spangled suit to watch?”

The kid is shaking his head; tears pour down those bruised cheeks.

Pulling against his cuffs, Steve tries to reach the kid, but, lightheaded, he collapses when he tries to get up. His head . “Get away from him,” he says, trying to sound threatening through the haze of nauseating pain filling his head. “Hey— hey, get away —” He lunges again and the cuff catches him, sending him to the ground again.

The man chuckles, not even bothering to turn away from Peter. “Captain, you’re not getting out of those things, so I wouldn’t even bother trying.” He touches the kid’s face, and he cries harder, and Steve pulls harder against the restraint. “Peter’s been here a good long while, and he’s never broken out, have you, sweetheart?”

Tears stream down the boy's face; he squeezes his eyes shut.

The man ignores Steve’s shouts and protests; he grabs the kid by the jaw and holds fast, and Peter makes a croaky whimper when his fingers touch the developing bruises on his neck. In his woozy vision, Steve sees Peter stop moving.

He wouldn’t. He wouldn’t , right?

Peter’s mouthing words he can’t get out, and it takes Steve a moment to realize what he’s trying to say: please . The man’s still talking. “I think we could give Captain Rogers here an eyeful, huh?” he laughs. “Maybe we should get all the Avengers in here, give ‘em a show, right, Petey? Maybe I should f*ck you in the chair, make Tony watch, huh? You want your little Iron Hero to watch Spider-Man bend over for me, huh?”

As this unfolds, there’s a sound—like metal against concrete—and Steve looks down to find a small scalpel passing through the bed-railing, pushed through by a small, dirty hand. It’s the little girl; the hand vanishes just as fast as it came.

Steve slips the scalpel into his palm.

The man continues his rant, undeterred. “…bend over for Captain America? Bet he’d love a little taste…” The kid’s shaking his head hard, and he moves, his arms clawing at the ground like he’s trying to get away, and the man pins them above his head. “What, did you f*ck him already? Huh? Your little childhood hero?” He’s laughing, something low and lewd in it. “You little slu*t. You did . You f*cked him.”

Peter’s crying so hard that mucus runs down his nose, but it’s silent, the only air coming out of him raspy and pained.

HEY, PERVERT! ” Steve shouts. “HEY! GET AWAY FROM HIM!”

The man looks at him, almost bored. Something swings at his belt—a rusty hatchet. That must’ve been what hit him. Steve’s been yelling the whole time, but that word caught him— pervert , and drew his attention to Steve. “What’s wrong, Captain?” he says, leaving Peter to come at Steve. “Can’t wait for your turn?”

“f*ck you,” Steve says, and he spits in the man’s face. “You stay away from Pet—”

He slams the blunt end of the hatchet across Steve’s face, and he collapses on the ground, his mouth on the concrete, and he pushes himself back up. “It was a f*cking rhetorical question, Captain .”

Steve sees stars; he keels over, feeling his face swelling, but he’s doing it. He’s catching the man’s attention, and it’s working . The man turns around to get to Peter, and he shakes his head again; the man gets him by the throat and, with the other hand, unbuckles his belt.

Steve screams, “You motherf*cking pervert! Hey! I’m gonna get you for this! I’m gonna get you for this!

The man mock-groans, letting go of the boy to turn to Steve. He stalks Steve, grasping that hatchet with one hand. “Would you shut up? God, no one can have any fun in these conditions! Would you shut up ?”

As long as it keeps the man’s eyes on him. He glances over at Peter, who’s watching them with a horrific intensity, barely blinking, arms pulled around himself. He’s not crying anymore. “YOU KEEP YOUR HANDS OFF HIM— SICK PIECE OF PERVERTED—”

The brown-haired man hits him again, this time on the other side of the face, knocking him to the ground. His head rings and sings with nauseating pain. That’s right, Steve thinks. Eyes on me, perv. Eyes on me.

The man hits him and hits him, the metal end of the hatchet now bloody; his head is f*cking bleeding now, liquid running down his face, and now he’s seeing purple. “SAY IT AGAIN!” the man’s screaming, red in the face. “SAY IT TO MY FACE!”

“PERVERT!” repeats Steve, in a shout so loud that the girl flinches and hits her head on the bed’s underside. As he sways on his hands and knees, heavy drops of blood from his head hit the floor.

Another swing of that hatchet, and another, and Steve collapses on the floor; the concrete’s wet with blood. In the corner, Peter is still, very still, and he makes no noise, even when the man spins back around to face him. “Your little hero’s getting on my nerves, Petey.” He laughs, catching his breath, and he kneels over the kid. “You hear me?”

Peter doesn’t say a word.

Steve’s head hurts so badly that he’s going to be sick, bile gurgling in his throat, and he spits on the floor, trying to gather himself. His face is swelling into a mass of blood-pooling flesh and bruised tissue; he thinks his cheekbone is broken. Steve suddenly feels bodily numb. He knows sh*t like this has happened to Bucky while he was in HYDRA’s custody—but he’s never, ever, ever bore witness to it. He’s rescued women from muggers, rapists, traffickers, and date-rape assholes, but he’s always been able to do something about it. Now, he’s just forced to watch, cuffed to the bed-railing away from the pair, too far to do anything about it. If only he could break the cuffs…

Peter doesn’t fight the man; he’s now so motionless that he looks like a corpse. The man is quick then, straddling the silent boy and grabbing at his clothes, tearing open those same buttons that Peter unbuttoned himself earlier. He yanks down one sleeve, then the other, and a sound escapes Peter—a whimper barely more than a croak. The man laughs darkly. “I knew you wanted it,” the brown-haired man says. “Always begging for it, aren’t you, Petey?” He then leans down with his free hand and grabs the kid firmly between the legs—and Peter goes stiff as a f*cking board.

Steve’s vision goes red.

He twists his wrist, settling the metal curve of the cuff against the base of his thumb, and, jumping a little for leverage, he falls straight down, swinging his arm down with all of his might and putting his entire two-hundred-fifty pound body weight on the vibranium cuff.

And. He. Pulls.

Vibranium is stronger than bone.

There’s a snap—hot white pain that momentarily blinds him—and he falls forward. He fumbles for a solid hold on the scalpel, and then he sinks it into the man’s back.

The man howls in pain, and Steve rips it out just to sink it in again; this time the man shifts, rolling off of Peter, and the blade catches him in the shoulder. He manages to get his hands on the rusty hatchet, wrenching it from the man’s belt, and he whips it at the man’s head—a satisfying crack of metal and bone—and the man goes utterly limp, falling on top of the kid.

Dazed and still struggling to hear anything past the ringing in his skull, Steve slumps to his knees beside the kid, using one arm to shove the man off of him.

Peter Parker looks like he’s been shot. He’s pale and trembling, his eyes unfocused and his hair sticking to his sweaty forehead. He doesn’t move, not even when Steve kicks the man aside. That’s when someone rushes in—it’s a woman. It’s Officer Paz . She’s still dressed in her uniform, and she’s got this angry, determined look on her face. She must’ve heard the man yell. She’s got one gun in her hand and another on her belt, which she casually tosses to Steve. “We gotta go,” the officer says, not knowing how long they have. “Now, Steve, we gotta go. They’re pretty high right now—this is our chance.” She turns to the boy, her face twisting with disturbed confusion, and she says, “It’s Parker, right? We gotta go, honey. Right now.”

But Peter Parker doesn’t move. He’s dazed as though struck in the head himself, his mind in an entirely separate place. He does nothing but sway lightly, still sitting against the wall.

Steve tries to grab his wrist, and Peter makes another terrified sound—a scream strangled by his swollen throat—and hugs his knees, crying quietly with his mouth closed, his face twisted in terror. The buttons on his front are still open wide.“Peter,” he tries again, feeling sick. “Come on, buddy, we’re good. He’s gone. We gotta go now, okay?”

There’s movement beside him, and then the little girl is tugging on Peter’s arm. “Captain America got him,” says the girl in a whisper. “He’s dead.”

Steve’s not sure about dead , but the man’s not getting up any time soon. The door’s cracked open, and Steve snatches the keys from the unconscious man’s belt. “We gotta go, buddy,” he tries, more insistent. “We really gotta go. We can get out of here. You wanna go home, don’t you? Peter? Peter, come on.”

The boy’s completely unresponsive, shaky breaths coming through him in raspy hisses, and when Steve moves to touch him, he flinches away, curling himself into a pale, shuddering ball.

The officer and Steve share a disturbed glance.

Steve didn’t expect their escape to be like this.

He didn’t think Peter would be so… so f*cking traumatized that he wouldn’t know they were escaping.

There’s a man with the officer, too, one Steve didn’t see the first time. It’s the doctor who stitched up his gun wounds—he’s got a gray beard and a ratty labcoat, and he squeezes through the tiny cell to reach Peter. He kneels by the boy and starts speaking to him in a gentle, even tone; soon the kid’s clambering to his feet, bracing himself against the wall, limping heavily with one arm curled around his torso. He looks like a strong wind would blow him right over, and he’s still not looking at anyone.

Impatient, the officer lingers at the door; the brown-haired pervert stirs on the ground, moaning, and Peter goes sheet-white. The kid backs up against the wall, breath coming out of him in quick, rasped huffs, and then collapses again, shaking his head and cowering.

The doctor seems to understand, and he opens his arms, saying something like, “I’ve got you,” and Peter loops his arms around the man’s neck, letting him pick him up like a child—one arm beneath the knees, one at the shoulder-blades.

And they walk out.

They’re quiet, shuffling through the long hallway and trying to make the least amount of noise possible. Even if their captors are high, they still can’t afford to make any sudden moves. Steve’s at the front of the pack, then the doctor carrying Peter, and then the little girl who’s followed at last by Officer Julia Paz, gun still raised.

There’s a sudden voice down the hallway—crazed and high-pitched like a warped record— “Yes! Go, Cassie! Go! Get out of here! GET OUT OF HERE, HONEY!”

Steve freezes. Who the hell—

The girl perks up. “DADDY!” she cries, and the whole world spills into chaos:

Boots storming into the hallway, and another shout: “What the f*ck—Julie?”

THURSDAY, AUGUST 23 — 10:02 PM

Charlie's sister is in the hallway with all his goddamn kids, looking stupidly like a deer in headlights. “Charlie,” she chokes out, and the rest of the idiots f*cking bolt behind him for the door.

“THEY’RE ESCAPING!” he roars.

Charlie sprints at them, but Julia tackles him to the ground like she used to when they were kids. “ Let them go, Charlie! ” she cries, and Charlie hates how he’s talking to him, like he’s the bad guy. “You have to let them go!”

Rage fills him like helium in a hot-air balloon, and he whips his fist at her face, making contact. “YOU BETRAYED ME, YOU f*ckING BETRAYED ME!”

“Charlie—” his sister says, and Charlie hits her again; this time, blood runs from her nose.

“I TRUSTED YOU! I TRUSTED YOU! I TRUSTED YOU!”

Charlie deserves a f*cking throne for everything he’s done. All of this, and Julie was gonna set them all free?

He deserves a throne, a crown, a cape, a scepter, a f*cking servant, a maid, a slave, a whole kingdom of idiots to bow before him. His hammer smells sweet—a rusty sweet, the sweet of blood—and finds himself inhaling that f*cking tang of power, and he swings— “ Charlie, no!

His hammer reeks sweet, like licking paint from a windowsill or tequila from a belly button or blood on a vibranium chair. He swings again, and again, and again, and god , it feels good. HE DESERVES THIS, that salty taste of blood; he does, he does, and no one can stop him. He needs a f*cking crown. He needs, he needs, HE NEEDS THIS POWER! SHE WAS GOING TO STOP HIM! The hammer is hot in his hands, the power of the whole f*cking world in his hands.

f*ck China or Russia or the whole United States. f*ck Ross, f*ck the president, f*ck them all.

They all need him. He can do whatever the hell he wants.

He grabs the woman in front him; he finds her, and she smells like fear and blood and she’s making small, gurgly noises and he’s so f*cking high . He’s high, like power, like angels, like kings, like the hot, boiling sun. HE’S SO f*ckING HIGH—HE IS—HE IS—HE IS WHAT HE IS—what is he but a once and future king? What is he but a king, his majesty, his eminence, his royal f*cking— WHY IS THE STUPID BITCH TALKING?

“SHUT UP!” Charlie screams, and he slams the hammer down again.And again. And again. “I’M IN CHARGE! I’M IN CHARGE!” Charlie is supreme; nothing can touch him now. They’ll all bow to him, they’ll do as he says, and they’ll know the fear—the reek—the stink—the weight of terror in their useless, heavy, flightless bones.

Charlie, though? Charlie’s bones are hollow; they are flooded with angel dust.

He’s gonna fly.

Charlie climbs to his feet, and the entire world bows beneath him; the woman below him is nothing but blood and mush, and he smiles. Another enemy defeated in the name of Charlie. King Charlie.

He clambers through the hallway; blood pulses in his face, his whole face hot with power, and he laughs and laughs and laughs. “WHERE ARE THE f*ckING KIDS?” he screams, his voice raw and mighty. “WHERE ARE THEY?”

There’s people piling through the doors at the end of the hallway, chasing and running, and Charlie goes after them. They climb through the doors and up the ladder and through the cave—finally, they’re in open forest, and they’re running into trees. The air smells like white-cedar and sugar-maple, and he inhales deeply before chasing after those kids—he can smell their fear for f*cking miles. “I’M GONNA KILL YOU!” he cries, and he means every word of it. Anyone who betrays him has to die. That Captain America, that Parker, that little Lang girl… He’s gonna kill them before they run around telling the world about their master plan. “GET BACK HERE!”

His crew is running with him, crowds of people dressed in black and so high they can barely walk in a straight line. But Charlie’s running so fast he can taste the oxygen in every breath. “SPLIT UP!” he screams, and sweat pours down his face. “FIND THEM!”

They scatter into the woods, and Charlie follows the scent of blood-soaked terror like a bloodhound. They’re gonna pay.

He finds the doctor and the kid staggering past a group of juniper trees, trying to hide behind a couple fallen spruce logs, and he fires his pistol— one, two, three, four times until there’s a scream and the doctor starts running again, his labcoat catching on tree-bark, carrying the Parker kid bridal-style. It’s f*cking hilarious.

Charlie’s shoots once, then twice, and he catches the doctor in the leg; the gray-haired man falls, and clutches the Parker kid as he falls, taking the brunt of the impact. “ Found you! ” shouts Charlie, and he smiles. It’s like hide and seek, and he’s caught them. He did it! CHARLIE’S A f*ckING GOD! “ FOUND YOU!” Then he lines up his gun with the doctor’s head as he tries to crawl away, and Charlie finds himself laughing again, cackling as euphoria floods him. “I f*ckING FOUND YOU!”

He shoves the barrel into the doctor’s chin and pulls the trigger. Doctor-brains explode all over that nice, clean labcoat; blood sprays all over the Parker kid, and he starts screaming at the top of his lungs, eyes wild in his skull.

f*cking moron. Doesn’t he know he can’t escape? No one escapes Charlie, king of the world. Emperor of the earth. President of the f*cking planet.

Charlie fires again, pulling the trigger again and again and again until the body is riddled with beautiful holes; dark blood spreads over the man’s scrubs and over the leaves below him. “Taking away…” mutters Charlie, “...what’s mine…

He grabs Parker by his disgusting, matted hair and shoves his head into the forest-floor, slamming it down again and again. He’s still f*cking screaming. “ YOU CAN’T ESCAPE ME, PARKER!” he shouts, as Peter thrashes against his grip, his little fingernails scratching at Charlie’s hands. “YOU’LL NEVER ESCAPE ME!”

He grabs the kid’s throat this time, and he wishes he could crush it closed; the kid gargles out something unintelligible. “YOU f*ckING IDIOT, YOU—you—you are nothing to me, what are you? JUST A f*ckING FREAK, just a tool we use to get what we want! You’re nothing! You’re not even human! No, no, nonono—you’re nothing, you’re nothing , got that Spider-Boy? YOU GOT THAT? YOU’LL NEVER LEAVE THAT f*ckING CELL AGAIN!”

Peter is choking on Charlie's broad hands, garbling for air, kicking against his hold.

“SAY IT!” he screams, and he can feel the spittle fly from his mouth onto Parker’s pasty skin. “f*ckING SAY IT, PARKER!! YOU’RE THE f*ckING SCUM UNDER MY BOOT, AND WHAT ARE YOU!! WHAT ARE YOU!! YOU’RE f*ckING NOTHING!!”

Peter’s slack in his hold, limp as a stupid doll, and Charlie drops the kid onto bloody leaves. This kid’s never gonna see the light of day again.

And the others… Where are the others? He’s gonna get them, too.

THURSDAY, AUGUST 23 — 10:28 PM

Steve runs.

They split up with Peter and the doctor a few minutes ago— ”They can’t catch us all, can they?” said the doctor with a tired smile — and now Steve is carrying the little girl down the mountain and running as fast as he can. He’s barefoot—he doesn’t remember when those people took his shoes, but he wishes he had them now. His bullet wounds have partially healed, as his super-healing has kicked in, but they’re keeping him from running as fast as he’d like. He ducks through trees and tries to run in zig-zags to keep them off his tail.

But eventually, he hears their voices; the HYDRA guys are shouting: “This way! This way!” His heart races. They’re catching up to them. The little girl’s sobbing into his shoulder, confused, crying the way kids do: completely unhinged without any sense of restraint.

They run and run and take a break at the base of a river so that Steve can catch his breath. The girl’s face is stained with blood, probably from the open wounds on his head. He’s so f*cking dizzy . “Okay,” he pants, completely out of breath, and he hates that he doesn’t even know the little girl’s name. His head still swims with pain, and he’s pretty sure he lost a tooth from the blunt end of that hatchet. “Listen to me, okay, we’ve gotta split up.”

The girl shakes his head and buries her face in his shoulder.

“I’m serious,” he pants, and he can hear the voices drawing closer. “I need you to run that way, okay?” He points down the river. “I’m gonna run the other way so they can’t find you. And if I make it, I’ll come get you, okay? I promise—I’ll find you.”

The girl’s crying as he sets her down. She’s still wearing that torn sweatshirt of Bucky’s, the one that he gifted to them. “I’m—I’m—scared,” she sobs.

“I know,” he says, and the panic is sinking in. He’s wounded, she’s just a kid, and Peter… He hopes Peter and the doctor got out. “I know, but you have to do it, okay? You can be brave. You can do it.”

“Are you—you—gonna—die?” she cries, through streams of tears.

“No,” he says, although that might be a lie, “of course not. I’ll be okay. I’m gonna go find Peter, okay? Just… Try to find someplace—a police station or a house or something. You’ll be safe there.” She nods, still crying, and there’s so many tears coming down her dirty face that it’s leaving rivers of clean skin. “Now, go! Go, run as fast as you can!” The girl turns and runs along the riverbank, only tripping a couple times before she picks up the pace, sprinting and disappearing into the woods.

She’ll be safe out there.

Steve might not be.

THURSDAY, AUGUST 23 — 10:42 PM

Cassie runs faster than she’s ever run in her life.

She runs so hard and so fast that she can barely feel her feet hit the ground; her legs become blurs beneath her. She trips and falls and pulls herself back up again so that she can keep running. She trips on a tree root and rocks and . Her jumpsuit is sticky, slow to dry, her face still coated in a layer of Captain America’s blood. There’d been so much blood…

There are leaves and trees and more leaves and Cassie trips and falls so many times that her knees and palms are stinging and bloody from catching herself. But she just keeps running. She runs until she doesn’t have any breath left in her body, until her feet go numb, until at last she stumbles upon a house— a house! —beyond a grove of trees, and she runs inside. It’s cabin-like, all wood with yellow lights and woven blankets. She smells food; what is that? It’s sweat and bready, and Cassie realizes quickly that she has no idea what it is even though the smell is so breathtakingly familiar.

The door is not locked; Cassie bursts inside and follows her nose to the kitchen, where there’s something warm and sweet on the counter; quick, quick, quick! She lunges for it, knocking it off the counter, and it lands with a splat onto the wooden floor. she scoops it up with her hands, sweet berries and purple gelatinous mush and crusted graham, and she scoops it in handful by handful, gulping it down without chewing, just shoveling and swallowing and shoveling and swallowing until finally she hears: “Oh my god .”

Cassie had gone into such a complete haze that she didn’t hear anyone coming, and she startles, jumping back from the mushy pile of mostly-eaten pie on the floor and letting out a terrified scream. There's a woman there and Cassie can only think of what she saw just an hour ago—of the bearded man splitting open the police officer’s head like a cook cracking an egg, the blood and meat bursting from smashed bone until the inside of her head looked like raw ground beef.

The woman’s got red hair, and there’s a few people behind her: a white man with a bow and arrow, a black man in a blocky robot suit, a white man with dark hair and black grease smeared over his eyes, and another black man with wings on his back. All of them are holding guns.

“That’s Steve’s sweatshirt,” says the black-eyed man, in this fierce voice, and he takes a step towards her.

Cassie bursts into tears.

Notes:

let me know what u think! love u all

sorry again about stretching out the rescue, it's happening i promise

Chapter 20: you were only seventeen

Summary:

They sneak forward; at the end of the hall, they can hear people talking—shouting, even. Rhodey enters the room first; in a split second, he takes in the horrific scene in front of him. In one corner is the felon Scott Lang; he’s tied to a wheelchair and behind a table with a computer on top, and he’s muttering to himself. And in the center is the kid. He’s on some kind of metal table, flat on his stomach, little chest heaving, tears running down his face. Peter’s strapped down to the gray-metal table, and he’s in so much pain that he’s drenched in sweat. His back’s pink and bloody.

Notes:

I KNOW IT'S LIKE AN HOUR PAST MIDNIGHT BUT THIS CHAP WAS LONG, FORGIVE ME LADS

chap title from: cigarette daydreams by cage the elephant

20 chapters, man i've come far

CW: so much lol, if you've read this far you know there's literally every warning in here. torture, rape, uncomfortable non-con sexual situation, violence, death, suicide-ish thing, non-consensual drug use, yep a lot.

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

THURSDAY, AUGUST 23 — 10:49 PM

Clint recognizes the little kid on the floor. He’s familiar, but he can’t remember how he knows him.

Nat and Bucky, the best trackers of the group, followed a trail of bloody footprints that led to this cabin in the middle of the mountains. They expected to find Steve or Peter or one of the HYDRA assholes, not… Not a child.

“That’s Steve’s sweatshirt,” says Barnes. He moves towards the child, far too aggressive towards someone so skittish, and the little boy shrieks and bursts into terrified tears.

Clint Barton is the only one of the five—himself, Nat, Bucky Barnes, Sam Wilson, and Rhodey—who has kids, so he knows how to react immediately, putting down his weapons and crouching low to the ground. “Hey,” he says tenderly, trying not to scare the kid more.

He’s got his hair buzzed haphazardly by his skull, shallow cuts scattered over his head, and he’s wearing a torn-up jumpsuit, something clearly made for adults that was cut to fit him better. He’s incredibly small, maybe three feet tall, and he’s so thin that his bones poke through his spindly fingers and the pallid skin of his face. This kid’s been starved. No wonder he’s sitting on the floor of a random cabin shoveling pie into his mouth.

He’s got one wrist in a cast and the other is still holding a fistful of pie and he’s crying.

The little kid wipes at his mouth, smearing berry over his cheek, and Clint is reminded viscerally of his daughter. It’s a very feminine motion, something his daughter only started doing after kindergarten because ‘all the other girls’ did, too.

That’s why he can’t recognize her—he’s been trying to think of boys he knows that are about that age. But that’s not a little boy. That’s a little girl.

He’s seen her in photos—shared with him back during the Germany fiasco before the Avengers broke up. That Ant-Guy, Scott Lang, kept showing him pictures on the flight to Germany. Pictures of her at ballet recitals and soccer games and the zoo.

Bucky mentioned on the flight over: Scott Lang—Ant-Man—was taken by the same people who took Peter Parker and Steve Rogers.

They took Scott Lang’s daughter, too?

“You’re Scott’s daughter,” he says, and he wracks his mind for the name. “Kennedy. Uh, Carly. Cassie.”

The girl freezes suddenly, staring at him like he just chanted an exorcism.

“It’s Cassie, right? Cassie Lang?”

She doesn’t even move. Berry and pie drip from her hand. Where the hell did all this blood come from? It’s caked in her hair and all over her face like face paint, and it makes his heart clench just to see a kid like this. He imagines his boy—little Nate, named after Natasha, who’s only a couple years younger than this girl—covered in bruises like this, bloodstains like this, visibly starvedlike this, and his stomach lurches at the thought.

“I remember you, honey,” he says, and Natasha’s putting her gun down, too. “You like, um, the zoo? And animals. Uh, dolphins, right? Your dad never shut up about it.”

“Belugas,” she croaks, her voice barely more than a whisper, and then she claps her hand over her mouth and starts sobbing into her palm, trying to muffle the noise.

“It’s okay,” he says, his heart contorting in his chest. What did they do to this little girl? “You’re okay. We’re superheroes, see? We’re here to help you.”

Barnes moves forward again and she starts crying harder and backing up into the cabinet. “Where’s Steve?” he snaps. “How’d you get his—”

The girl starts shaking her head and crying, tears interrupted by violent hiccuping.

“Barnes,” warns Clint, grabbing him by the arm to stop him from approaching any further. “You’re scaring her.”

Shaking off Clint’s grip on his arm, the man scowls. “We don’t have time for this. Nat, let’s go. Barton, get the kid to a hospital and meet us at the bunker.”

He nods, and the three other Avengers follow.

This isn’t a one-time thing; usually, when Clint finds kids in the field, they see his superhero gear and climb right into his arms, knowing they’ll be safe. But this girl, if she was taken as long as Lang was missing… She’s been kidnapped for months. There’s no easy way to explain to her that Clint’s not going to hurt her.

It takes a while to coax the girl into any sense of safety.

Clint sits on the floor with her and shows her pictures of his kids, and that seems to help a little bit. “My oldest is a boy,” he says. “Cooper. He’s sixteen now. Then there’s Lila—she’s thirteen. And that’s Nate there. He turned three in May.” He offers her the phone so she can swipe through the photos, but she covers her head in a quick jerk of her hands, like he was going to hit her. “It’s okay… It’s okay… Are you hurt?”

A slow, uncertain shake of the head.

“I called an ambulance, honey, but we’re pretty far out. They might not be here for at least an hour. You gotta let me take you to the hospital.”

The girl hesitates, hugging that handful of pie close to her chest.

“You’ll be safe there, I promise. Just come with me.” He scoots forward, slow, his arm outstretched to her, but she doesn’t take it. What can he tell her that would get her to come with him? “I—I’m a friend of your dad’s.” He hates how much he suddenly sounds like the predators he warns his kids about.

The girl pauses again, her hollow gaze settling on him. “You know Daddy?” she whispers.

For once, she isn’t backing away from him. “Yes,” he says, and although it’s not technically a lie, it sure does feel like one with the way her face has lit up. “Yes. We can meet him there, at the hospital.” Now, that’sa lie.

“He’s okay?” Cassie asks, eerily quiet.

The lie is spearing a hole in his chest, but he can’t stop now. He has to get her to the hospital. Even if she’s not dying, this girl needs some medical help. “Yes, honey, he’s okay. You wanna come with me? We can go see him.”

She nods emptily, slowly, and she unclenches her fistful of half-eaten pie. Her sticky hands stretch towards him.

Gentle, cautious, he picks her up like he does all his kids—his hands under her arms, lifting her up so that he can rest her on his hip. Now that he’s got her, Cassie’s little arms hug weakly at him and her head tucks into the crook of his neck; her tiny body trembles in his hold, so he rubs circles into her back to calm her. “I’ve got you,” he says, as he steps through the cabin’s doorway. “I’ve got you, honey.”

THURSDAY, AUGUST 23 — 11:28 PM

Steve wakes dazedly; it takes a moment for his vision to come through, and when it does he sees Peter Parker in the corner far from him, rocking and rocking slowly like a kid in timeout. Hands wrapped around his knees, bare feet braced against concrete, the bruises around his neck an angry red. “Peter,” he says, and he tries to remember what happened but his face is so swollen and his head hurts. “Peter, hey…”

The kid’s unresponsive, rocking and rocking, his gaze pointed somewhere by the door. There’s blood splattered over his face and his entire right side like an abstract painting, and he hasn’t wiped it away. He just keeps rocking.

That’s not Peter’s blood. That kind of splatter—heavy blood and small pieces of flesh—can only come from someone else. That must be…

“The doctor,” he says finally, starting to understand. “What happened?”

There are some needle-marks in the crook of Steve’s arm—no wonder he can barely stand on his own. They must’ve drugged him while he was unconscious.

Peter’s rocking and rocking. He scratches at the back of his hand, where that IV port rests. He looks pale and strange, almost inhuman, breathing in rapid huffs, pupils huge and foggy.

“Peter,” Steve tries again, but his head feels like it’s full of cotton. “Hey. Did they hurt you?”

Stupid question. Those marks on the kid’s neck are darkening by the second.

“Did the…the little girl get out?”

Nothing.

Steve remembers a little; he shouted and yelled for help, drawing the HYDRA guys away from Cassie, and they’d followed him. They eventually caught him down the mountainside and knocked him in the head hard enough that he passed out.

He doesn’t remember Cassie getting caught, too, so maybe she escaped. If they’d caught her, wouldn’t she be in the cell with them? Is she alive? “Peter,” Steve tries. “Peter… Are you okay?” Stupid question. Stupid question, but he can’t think straight. “I think… I think Cassie got out.

Something he says must register, because Peter stops rocking and his face starts to stretch into some twisted thing resembling a smile.

He starts laughing.

Peter is laughing.

It’s a wrecked sound because it’s so quiet because of his damaged voice, so it comes out in a pained wheeze, but it’s so clearly a laugh. He’s laughing so hard that his whole body trembles, so hard that he starts slapping his face, like he’s trying to wake himself up.

His hands turn to fists then, and he slams his fist against his head with alarming force. “Peter!” Steve says, startled, and he crawls close to him; each blow gets harder against his head as he continues to laugh like a manic toddler. The world tilts as he moves, and Steve collapses before he can get to the kid, groaning. Right. Drugged. “Peter, stop, you’re gonna hurt yourself!” He drags himself over to the kid, and his looming presence seems to shake Peter from his crazed trance, because he stops as soon as Steve gets close enough to touch him, coughing and putting his hands out to protect himself.

It doesn’t take long for someone to enter the room; and when that door opens, Steve feels a twist of dread. In this state, he can’t do much to protect Peter.

Steve looks up, tries to stand, and immediately collapses back onto his knees.

The brown-haired man is lingering in the doorway.

Steve still doesn’t know his name. He thinks the little girl might have said it, but that memory is diluted by several rounds of drugs and a concussion now. He can’t remember what his name is.

“Welcome back,” says the brown-haired man. “You really thought you could…” The man winces, gritting his teeth as he gestures to his shoulder. “…get rid of me that easy?”

The man moves forward; drugged beyond belief, Steve moves between him and the kid. “You’re not touching him,” he says, although if he’s forced to stand he might pass out. “This time I won’t hold back.”

He chuckles. “Hold back? When will you f*cking learn, Captain, huh? You’re not in charge here. The kid’s mine.” He’s got a gun this time, and when he shoves Steve to the side he jabs it into Steve’s neck.

The drugs slosh through his blood, taking him to the floor in an instant. He feels his cheek against cold concrete, and he hears the man’s voice again. Steve lifts his head to see the man standing over Peter, the kid as unresponsive as ever, and then a slap to get his attention.

Steve should’ve killed the man when he had the chance.

He finds it in him to drag himself into a sitting position. “Wait,” he gasps out. “Hey. Come on. The kid… He’s hurt.”

“One more word from you,” says the man, without looking, “and I’ll shoot you in the f*cking head. Bet Captain Steve Rogers can’t survive that, can he?”

The man’s gun has a silencer, he realizes with a sudden jolt of panic, spotting the black cylinder extending from the pistol. His gun has a silencer.

The man kneels beside Peter, gun pointed at his gut, and says lowly, “You still owe me for today, don’t you, Petey?” A hand on Peter’s knee, and Steve’s reminded viscerally of what the kid had done hours earlier to Steve—the hand on his knee, the lips on his neck—and there is a sudden, violent burst of desperation from inside him.

Steve should’ve killed him. Steve should’ve killed him.

Steve can’t stop him; has nothing. No weapons, no strength, no bargaining chips. “Wait!” Nothing except… “Me— take me!” His suggestion gives the brown-haired man pause, and a surge of disturbed victory works its way through Steve’s chest. Steve adds, with an unimaginable amount of desperation, “Please.” The man watches him, eyes dark and unreadable. “I’ll… I’ll… I’ll suck you off.”

The brown-haired man stands then, his gun pointed at Steve now. Eyes on me, he thinks, just like last time. Eyes on me. “Now, that’san idea,” he says, his eyes alighting with malice. “Captain Steve Rogers, hero of the Western world, choking down some dick.” He chuckles. “Beg for it.”

Steve’s mouth goes dry. Steve Rogers never begs; he fights until the end of the line. He fights back. Healwaysfights back.

Steve swallows hard. “Please,” he says, and he thinks of Bucky. There’s so much sh*t pumping through his system that he can barely focus his eyes, but he watches as a blurry form treads the length of the cell in a couple strides and stands above him. His visage sways. “I want to.”

The brown-haired man squats by him. “You know, Cap,” he says, and suddenly his hand is on Steve, palming him through his pants. “You’re really not my type.”

“I’ll…make it good,” says Steve, and he pushes something sultry into his voice, something reserved for Bucky and Bucky alone. “I’m good at it, I promise. Please. Please. Just not the kid, please.”

The man gives him this look, something like a glare, over his scruffy brown chin. “Hard to pass up the opportunity to make Captain America my bitch,” he says. “Especially after he tried to kill me.”

“I wasn’t trying to—”

There’s a cold pressure against his arm—a sharp sound—and a thunk , and a flare of pain in his arm so intense that Steve lets out a groan. The man shothim. Last time he’d been shot, it was from a farther distance, but at point blank range… The wound bleeds almost immediately, and he clamps his hand over the wound to stop it.

“Don’t lie,” says the man, as though he didn’t just put a bullet in Steve. “I don’t like liars, Steve Rogers.”

The man smiles, and Steve wants to spit in his face but he can’t. He just sways, gripping his newfound wound as blood spills through his clamped fingers. “Go on, then.” he says, “Let’s see what America’s ass has to offer.”

At least it’s not Peter.

He hopes the kid’s not looking, but he can’t see him past the brown-haired man’s torso. He hopes he doesn’t remember this.

There’s that cold circle on the side of his neck, and when he swallows, the metal slides over his clammy skin. Steve placed a hand on the man’s belt, feeling suddenly very, very sick. It’s calfskin leather, the nice kind, the kind doctors and bankers wear. He unbuckles and unzips with bloodstained fingers, his slippery fingers needing a couple tries to do it; the pain in his shoulder roars.

“Don’t even think about it,” the man says, before Steve can say another word. Steve hears the unspoken threat: Bite down and you’re dead.

He tries not to think of Bucky.

Steve goes somewhere else in his mind, only coming back when the man grasps his hair in a painfully tight grip, thrusting hard enough that Steve gags and involuntarily shoves back at the man’s thighs.

At least it’s not Peter.

When he’s done, the brown-haired man tucks himself away with a grunt and stands over Steve like he’s a prize pig. “That wasn’t bad. You’ve got experience, huh?”

Steve wants to throw up; nauseous, he keels over one hand pressing into his stomach. He’s near-blinded by pain and disgust, and he wishes Bucky would come bursting in through that door.

There’s a weight on his shoulder, pressing hard, and the pain doubles, triples, layering over itself—that’s a handon his shoulder, forcing his back to the wall. His head lolls back, heavy with whatever drug they gave him, and the hand disappears. The man’s face sways in front of him—scruffy chin, thick brows, dark eyes—and there’s a hand on his stomach, tugging his shirt out of his pants.

Wait. Wait.

Steve’s still kneeling; it’s difficult to keep himself upright. “You learn that one in the army, did you?” The man squats in front of him then, one knee on the ground, and sneaks his hand into Steve’s pants; Steve tenses, squeezing his legs together to stop any intrusion. This only seems to encourage the man, because he chuckles and squeezes hard enough to hurt, and Steve swallows a cry of pain. This man won’t see him weak. “Answer me, Steve Rogers.”

“Yes,” he says. Steve can feel the tears well in his eyes, and he blinks them back, blinks again, and takes a breath to dissipate them.

At least it’s not Peter.

The man is not gentle, but Steve’s body responds, and when he is finished, there are tears on Steve’s face. The brown-haired man pulls his hands out of the pants and brushes his hand on Steve’s thigh, back and forth, until his hand is clean.

Then he’s up and striding across the room, a quick movement towards Peter that leaves Steve scrambling for a solution. He has nothing left. He has nothing left. “Wait—wait—not him, not him!”

The man laughs. “You really are into this hero sh*t, aren’t you?” He waves the gun. “Come here,” he says, and Steve doesn’t move.

The man raises the gun a second time and fires into the same spot on his shoulder, and Steve screams through gritted teeth. “Don’t make me ask again.” He starts to shuffle forward on his knees, a couple inches at a time and the man stops him. “Hands and knees,” he says, and Steve forces one arm to the ground; blood seeps from his gunshot wound. Two, now. “Other hand, too.”

Where the f*ck does this guy get off? He feels a sick twist in his gut at the amount of time Peter spent with him. No wonder the kid can barely speak. This kid… He must’ve been through hell. Steve puts his other hand down and, in so much pain it’s darkening his vision, he crawls to the brown-haired man.

At least it’s not Peter.

Then, through the thin fabric of his shirt, he feels cold metal against his back.

From this range, a bullet could easily tear through his lung. Steve Rogers is strong, but he’s not that strong. He’s spent enough time with Bruce Banner to know what will happen if a bullet goes through his lung without anyone to fix him up. First, air from outside the lung will come into the lung, and the area around his lung will fill with blood; then the lung will collapse. Then, within minutes, he’ll be dead.

“This is where you stabbed me, Rogers,” says the man. “Right. Here. You wanna know how it feels?”

“No,” he chokes out. Blood’s coming down his arm in a warm spiral. “Please—“

“Beg me,” he says, and his voice is so cold.

“Wh-what?” If Steve wasn’t so drugged, if his head wasn’t so injured, if his shoulder wasn’t so wounded, then he’d be able to fight back. But he can’t. All he can do is obey.

“Beg me,” he says, “to f*ck you.”

Steve has never felt fear as unbridled as this. If the man shoots, he’s dead. The muzzle of the gun pokes into his spine. “Please,” he says.

“Please what?”

The wave of humiliation that comes over him is almost unbearable. “Please,” he says, “f*ck me.”

He can feel the man’s shoe on his back then, hard and unyielding, pressing down, and it takes everything in him not to collapse. His body is screaming— “I can’t hear you,” says the man coldly.

Is this how he’s going to die? Begging a sick pervert to rape him? “Please!” he shouts, louder, and his head swims like it’s drowning in mud. He can’t f*cking see. “Please…”

He’s gonna pass out, but he can’t. Without him, the guy’s gonna go after Peter. He clings to consciousness, trying to focus on the sound of his blood hitting concrete. Stay awake. Stay awake.

The man f*cking laughs. and with a beat of horror, Steve feels the cold muzzle travel down his back. He can hear the echo of what he said, almost violent, in his ears. This isn’t happening, right? It’s not happening to him. He’s Steve Rogers. He’s Captain America. He’s… He’s…

He doesn’t know how the man gets his shirt off. Did he help? Did he take it off? The drugs are slurring his thoughts, his memories, and he’s trying really, really hard not to think about Bucky. He’s on his stomach now, and the man presses his boot into his wounded shoulder, wrenching a garbled cry from him. “The great Captain America,” says the man. “What are you now?”

Steve Rogers is not often helpless. He is a super-soldier and a veteran and an Avenger. He is anything but helpless. But this, this complete and utter defenselessness is making him remember what it was like before the serum. When he’d lose every fight he got into. When he’d struggle to keep his lungs working every other night. When he’d go to sleep knowing he might not wake up.

The door opens again—for a second Steve thinks of Bucky—and there’s an exasperated groan. “Really, Beck? Keep it in your goddamn pants. Can’t you go one second without f*cking these poor guys? What’d you do to him?”

The man takes the foot off his back, and the muzzle of the gun disappears from Steve’s bare back. “Nothing he didn’t want,” he grumbles, stepping over Steve’s body to reach the doorway.

“Whatever. Let’s go—family meeting.”

The man and his buddy disappear through the doorway, and for some reason the sound of the lock clicking fills Steve with untamed relief; he breathes shakily into the concrete. “He’s gone,” says Steve, maybe for Peter and maybe for himself. “He’s gone.”He can't find it in himself to cry; he traps that feeling in his chest and buries it deep. He can't. He can't. There's this numb feeling permeating his body, a strangeness tingling in his legs and hips and shoulders; his body doesn't feel real, not quite. He looks down at his pants, at the twisted waistband of his boxers, and still he doesn't cry. He's a superhero—he's Captain America. This doesn't happen to superheroes. Not to him. He... He's not...

Peter doesn’t say a word.

Their captors return after only a few minutes, and when they open the door Steve shuffles back against the bed, one hand clasped over his shoulder wound, the other keeping Peter behind him. They can’t have him— “YOU CAN’T TAKE HIM!” he shouts, even though he’s struggling to stand. “GET—GET THE f*ck OUT!” They ignore him; the brown-haired man whips the gun at his head and knocks him to the side in one blow.

“Time to pay the piper, Parker,” says one, grabbing the kid by the arm. “Let’s go.”

“NO!” Steve cries, and he’s hit a second time—one that bursts his head into sickly blackness. When he comes to, lying in a distinct pool of his own blood, Peter’s gone, as are the rest of those HYDRA assholes. “No,” he gasps to no one in particular. “No, no, no…”

He crawls to the door, clutching his shoulder. “God, Bucky, please…” Steve begs to the ceiling. “Please…”

He’s not going to cry; he needs a plan. He finds his shirt thrown somewhere by the toilet—the man must have cut it off of him, because it’s torn into two pieces—and tears it into strips, wrapping them around the wound in his shoulder. Then he grabs the can opener from across the floor and waits with it, holding on with such a tight grip that his wrist trembles. The next time those assholes come back, he’ll be ready.

FRIDAY, AUGUST 24 — 12:01 AM

Rhodey and the others get to a door with a star on its front, one that is spotted with blood. Instead, they can hear some shuffling; Natasha tugs at the handle, and Bucky clicks his tongue, an unspoken get back.She moves away from the door, and Bucky fires his gun at the lock twice, the silenced shots bursting the mechanism open. The other two stay back.

Vibranium bullets meet vibranium locks. Bucky Barnes knows how to handle HYDRA bases.

Bucky kicks the star-painted door open with ease—

—and nearly gets nailed in the head by a rusty can opener.

Bucky has super-soldier reflexes, so he ducks the first time; the rest of them back up, ready to shoot. It’s Steve, his face beaten beyond recognition, but it’s definitely Steve. For a moment, Rhodey, Sam, and Nat are just onlookers to their reunion. “Steve,” Bucky says, relief flooding his face. “Steve—“

The first swing took Steve to the ground, and he’s on his hands and knees now, trying to push himself back up and when Bucky leans down, the blond man swings again with a crazed cry— why is he fighting with his left arm?—and Bucky catches it in his metal fist. “Steve! Stevie, hey, it’s me. It’s me.”

It takes Steve a second, and when it finally clicks, the relief on his face is otherworldly. “Bucky,” he sobs, and he drops the can opener, falling to one knee and then the other. “Oh, god. Oh, god.

Bucky’s on the floor with him; he puts a hand on Steve’s face and the man starts crying, hands gripping Bucky’s shirt like a lifeline. Even though Steve’s on his knees, he’s swaying and his pupils look huge. “What did they give you?”

Steve’s shaking his head. He’s crying.Rhodey’s never seen Steve cry before. Ever. It’s disturbing. “Bucky… He… He…” He can’t even finish a sentence. He’s shirtless and barefoot and covered in smears of dirt and blood; hasn’t he only been here for half a day?

“Where’s Peter?” asks Rhodey, insistent.

“They—he—they were—” Steve's acting so strange, and that crazed, drugged look in his eyes isn’t helping. He’s dressed only in sweatpants and boxers; the remains of his shirt are tied bloodily around his shoulder. He’s barefoot, too, and his feet are caked in dirt and dried blood. “He’s—he’s—they have him. They’re—they… They…”

Bucky gets Steve’s arm around his shoulders, and the other man leans heavily into him. “Okay—let’s go.”

The five of them quickly make their way down the hall, checking each room as they go. “Clear,” mutters Romanoff as they encounter another empty room. Most of them are filled with used syringes, sleeping bags, and food wrappers. And another. “Clear.”

They sneak forward; at the end of the hall, they can hear people talking—shouting, even. Rhodey enters the room first; in a split second, he takes in the horrific scene in front of him. In one corner is the felon Scott Lang; he’s tied to a wheelchair and behind a table with a computer on top, and he’s muttering to himself.

Most of the people in the room are swaying like Steve, eyes bloodshot and necks sweaty. In the other corner, a bearded man screams into a phone.

And in the center is the kid. He’s on some kind of metal table, flat on his stomach, little chest heaving, tears running down his face. Peter’s strapped down to the gray-metal table, and he’s in so much pain that he’s drenched in sweat. He’s clearly struggling to stay conscious, every breath coming out drenched in pain. There’s a blindfold on him, a black contraption locked around his eyes, and his hands are trapped in these metal cuffs, as are his ankles. His back’s pink and bloody.

Slap— a sob. Slap—another sob.

They’re beating him with f*cking wire.

And there in the corner, a brown-haired man’s jerking off to it.

He’s the first one to see them. Startled, he goes, “What the f*ck—” and jumps for the opposite door, zipping up his pants the whole way.

The others take a bit too long to notice, probably too high to recognize that a group of Avengers have just walked in, and they split up amongst the captors. Natasha goes sprinting after the jerk-*ff guy, whereas the rest of them split up amongst the addicts: Rhodey goes straight for Peter, knocking away the guy beating him into Falcon, who grabs him around the neck and knocks him out in one hit.

Natasha drags back the brown-haired man, whose hands are now tied behind his back with zip-ties and whose erection is clearly visible through his slacks. She kicks him hard in the back, and he curses at her.“Get rid of that,” she snarls, referring to the tent in his pants, “or you won’t have one.”

The brown-haired man spits on her. He’s still hard.

Natasha flips a karambit knife in one hand and plunges the blade downward in a stroke so quick it’s a blur of color, stabbing him in the crotch. He screams—blood spreads over his front, and he collapses on himself, hands pressed between his legs, moaning in pain on the floor.

Nobody says a thing.

As the others keep fighting, Rhodey goes for the straps holding Peter down and he just lays there. “Peter,” Rhodey tries, and the kid just writhes on the table, the wounds in his back leaking blood in small, curved lines. “ Peter.” He spots the restraints, finding vibranium cuffed tightly around his limbs, but as soon as he touches them, the kid tenses up like Rhodey laid a hot poker on his skin, and he backs off. “Sam?” he calls out, wanting anyone else to take over the job of freeing the poor kid. “A little help?”

Sam Wilson’s attention is on something else: one of the junkies is screaming: “STOP! STOP OR I’LL SHOOT HIM!” It’s the bearded man, the one who was on the phone. He’s got wheelchair-bound Scott Lang in a headlock, pressing a massive metal weapon into his chin. This man’s definitely high, because his eyes are nearly bugged out of his head and his skin’s so flushed that his whole face is bright pink. “I’LL KILL HIM! I’LL KILL HIM!”

Romanoff speaks into her earpiece—she’s been communicating with Happy the entire time— “We’ve got a hostage situation, Hogan,” she announces, glaring at the bearded guy. “Hold up on Stark.”

The man licks his teeth. “How’d you find me? Huh?” He makes this weird, grinning smile, even though he doesn’t seem happy—it only makes him seem crazier. “HOW’D YOU FIND ME? YOU CAN’T DEFEAT ME!”

Natasha’s got her gun trained on the guy. as does Bucky, who’s currently blocking Steve with his body. “Put the gun down,” says Natasha icily, “and we’ll let you live.”

You can’t kill me!” the man screams. Yeah, this guy’s higher than a f*cking kite. He pokes the barrel of the gun into Scott’s neck, hard enough that the man winces. “NO ONE CAN KILL ME! NOBODY MOVE!”The crazy junkie’s rambling and rambling, shouting about saving the world and fail-safes and power with his sweaty fingers on the trigger. “PUT YOUR WEAPONS DOWN!” the guy screams. “PUT ‘EM ALL DOWN OR I’LL KILL HIM!”

Sam obeys almost immediately, then Natasha, too, as she tries to negotiate with him.

“I SAID PUT THEM DOWN! YOU! OUT OF THE SUIT!

As Rhodey steps out of the suit, his deadened legs support by his high-tech leg braces, he looks to Scott Lang instead.

He remembers Ant-Man from the battle in Germany. This man looks nothing like him, but that smile… Why is he smiling? “Is she free?” the ex-felon asks, quiet enough that the sound is dwarfed by the crazy guy’s rambling.

He’s asking about his daughter. “She’s free,” says Rhodey, heart sinking.“Hawkeye took her to the hospital. Her family” —Sam looks sharply at him, and Rhodey regrets it as soon as he said it— “is coming to get her. She’s safe. She’s safe.”

Scott Lang smiles then, impossibly sad. His eyes shine. And he says, in this wounded tone, “Good.”

The ex-felon wraps his fingers over Charlie’s.

Rhodey doesn’t register what he’s doing until it happens; Scott squeezes the trigger over Charlie’s hand, the weapon fires, and Scott Lang burns up in a flash of blue light. All that’s left is a bloodied wheelchair and a sprinkle of ash. The blast takes out the junkie who’s holding him, too, vanishing his hand into a pile of bluish gray cinders. The man screams and falls backwards, and Rhodey steps back into his suit, quickly taking him out with a blast to the chest.

He's dead. Is he dead? Did Scott just...

Sam Wilson’s throwing up in the corner, his wings all folded up, gagging into his hands.

The rest of the HYDRA guys are neutralized, either unconscious or wishing they were. All the while, Steve’s leaned against the stained wall, repeating, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” like a waterlogged audiotape, sobbing into Bucky’s shoulder.

Finally, they return to Peter. The kid’s spent the entire hostage situation choking out terrified sounds through his swollen throat and thrashing against his bindings.

Still blinking away the afterimage of Scott Lang (and trying not to think about it for Peter’s sake), Rhodey steps out of the suit once more, using his bare hands to try to pry at the blindfold on Peter’s face. It’s not exactly a blindfold, because it’s hard and locked into place; Rhodey can’t get it off his face—what the hell is this?

“Move,” says Bucky gruffly, stepping away from Steve for a moment. He moves to Peter, mutters something incomprehensible under his breath—maybe I’m sorry?—and then places his hands around Peter’s head, who starts thrashing as soon as he does, kicking his legs and groaning weakly. It clicks and releases, and then it’s off.

They get his restraints next, unbuckling arms and legs from vibranium cuffs; but as soon as he’s free, Peter pushes himself off the table and hits the floor so hard that Rhodey swears he hears his bones hit concrete. He’s so beatenthat he can barely move, yet still he tries to crawl away, his nails scraping against concrete as he drags himself forward a couple inches at a time. “Peter,” Natasha tries, kneeling by him, and she touches his leg. “Hey, you’re safe—”

The kid makes a choked sound, curling into a shuddery ball and making these shattered, whimpery noises in his throat; his vocal cords must’ve been wrecked by whoever strangled him—evident by the developing hand-shaped bruises around his neck—because he can barely get a sound out. Peter doesn’t need to speak to express his terror; the fear is evident in every move he makes. He thinks they’re going to hurthim, and he can’t even muster up the words. His eyes are wide open, bugged wide and clouded with pain, but he might as well be blind because he’s not seeing straight; the only thing Peter Parker can see right now is the possibility of more pain.

Back in the doorway, Steve Rogers is crying.

“It’s us,” tries Rhodey, but his vision is going all watery and blurry with tears. “Peter, look at me… Kid. Kid. It’s us, Peter. We’re here to…” He probably knows the kid the best of all of them, and to see him like this… “To… To rescue you.” He can’t help his voice from cracking. “God, Peter… We found you, kid. We foundyou.”

How is this the happy-go-lucky teenager that Tony took out for pizza? That he and Pepper cheered on at decathlon meets and met for ice cream? That they took to Hamilton?

This kid…

He looks like a phantom.

They should’ve looked for him days ago, weeks ago, months ago. How could they let this happen? How could they let a bunch of addicts mutilate a kid like this? He looks like… He looks like… Paper-thin and covered in scars, bruised beyond recognition, his neck layered in darkening handprints, his wrists and ankles sliced bloody by the restraints.

God, the things they must’ve done to him to get him to look like he’s been chewed up by a paper-shredder and run over by a semi-truck. What they must’ve done to him to make him so traumatized he couldn’t speak.

And that look in his eyes—like his pupils had been hollowed out with a spoon—it was like he was already dead.

Rhodey keels over, sudden nausea filling his belly, and gags a couple times before righting himself.

Still Peter Parker crawls away, tears coming down his face like there’s a dam unhinged in his eye-sockets, broken nails scraping the concrete as he drags his broken body away from the Avengers. “We just need,” manages Sam, “to give him time, right? He’ll calm down, he’ll know it’s us?” He tries directing his words at Peter, who’s half-sobbing on the floor, his muscles wound so tight that he twitches at every sound, scraping his fingernails over the wall because he can’t find the f*cking door. His face is turned to the wall like he doesn’t want to look, and tears are running through the splatters of blood on his face. “Peter—man, hey, it’s us. You remember us, right? We’re the Avengers. You remember us, don’t you? Peter. Peter. Come on…”

The room is quiet save for Peter’s strangled sounds and Steve’s exhausted sobbing.

“Nat,” says Bucky finally, interrupting the strained silence. His voice is so tired. There’s a weight in it, like the words are doused in mercury instead of oxygen. “You have to knock him out.”

Rhodey backs up, his leg braces clunking against the concrete ground.

Rhodey knows Nat’s seen a lot, but even this brings her some hesitation. “I’m sorry, маленький паучок,” the red-haired woman says, as softly as she can. She presses some buttons on her forearm, points her bracelet at the kid, and fires; it’s as gentle as an electric shock can be, and Peter convulses, his entire body tensing underneath the shock, before he goes limp against the concrete floor, finally still.

They stare at the kid’s limp body; it’s like watching a rotting cadaver.

“I got him,” says Rhodey, and he’s never heard his own voice sound so stripped, so callow, like someone pulled his fingernails from their beds and forced him to swallow them one by one. “I got him.” He moves forward, half-expecting the kid to flinch and scream again, but finds Peter completely unconscious, his jaw slack and his flailing limbs, finally, at rest.

He understands now why Bucky told Nat to do it. They only would’ve frightened him more by trying to physically force him out of the bunker. It’s easier this way. Safer. Calmer.

Behind him, Nat’s speaking through her earpiece, talking to Hogan or Barton or maybe both. “You hear me, Happy? Go get our boy.”

Tears and blood are still drying on the kid’s young, battered face. His entire body’s mottled with scars, burns, and bruises; Rhodey is tender with him, pulling his jumpsuit up and over the kid’s prone torso, pushing his skinny arms through each sleeve. "You're okay." It’s cold outside, and it’ll be a long flight to the hospital. Natasha brings him a shock blanket, one of those fold-up ones she must've been keeping on her. He wraps the kid in it like a toddler, folding the blanket around him like he's swaddling a baby. He hopes the kid is warm; he wishes he had some socks for him. "I'm so sorry, kid," he whispers, and Rhodey's so close to crying that the tears are burning a hole in his throat. "You're safe now, Peter. You hear me? We got you. We got you." Then, gentle as he would be with a newborn infant, he picks up the kid bridal-style, an arm under his back and another under the crook of his legs. His head lolls back like a puppet with its strings cut.

Flanked by the other Avengers, Rhodey carries Peter Parker out of that hellhole.

Notes:

plz tell me what u think, i die for comments

let's also celebrate that i recently got to 20k hits on here, which i feel like is lowkey a milestone, yay me

plz mention any like typos to me, cuz i refuse to use double-check my work haha

in a couple weeks i'll have been working on this fic for three years. that's f*cking insane. like i was in high school when i came up with this idea. what a way to spend ur time lol, this keeps me sane.

my brother's in the hospital rn and it just makes me want to write all the time. escapism lol. he'll be okay. i know he'll be okay.

if anyone wants to be a doctor character or something like that, lemme know, there's probably gonna be a lot of emergency/medical personnel coming up and i need characters hahaha, even if u just want like ur description in there comment with like idk 'chick with blonde hair' and i'll pop u in there

Chapter 21: carry me out

Summary:

“Peter,” the man sobs, and he gathers the limp kid into his trembling arms. “Oh, kid… Oh, Peter…” Rhodey braces his arms beneath Tony's, unsure if the shaking man can take the weight. “Oh, god… Oh, my god… My boy…” He holds the kid the way only parents do, tucking the blanket around his bruised neck and tipping his head into the crook of his shoulder. And although his knees waver, Tony stands, lifting up the kid of his own volition, walking back to the Quinjet, still cradling that poor boy.

Notes:

chap title is from 'carry me out' by mitski, great song

CW: medical situations, discussion of torture and violence, discussion of sexual assault

lol not many cw's this fic, good for me

have fun, plz let me know if there's typos cuz i'm so tired bros

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

FRIDAY, AUGUST 24 — 12:45 AM

While the rest of the Avengers go to New Hampshire to help Peter Parker, Happy stays behind so that he can break Tony out of the lab. They go to the airport, squeeze on a quick flight, and meet Bruce Banner at what’s left of the Avenger’s compound upstate.

The whole place is nearly empty now, Pepper having moved most of the company back into the Tower downtown, but there’s still some remnants of Tony left here. The Quinjet is there as well, settled nicely on the landing pad, dusty and unused. The lab, of course, is still intact; however, their house is empty.

She’d forgotten how angry she was just a couple months ago, how much violent rage she held towards her fiancé. She wonders if she could find the ring she threw away back in April if she searched the nearby grass. It’s just a ring , Tony would say. I’ll buy you another one .

Pepper, very pregnant and not wanting to risk the baby, stays behind; she manages to get ahold of Banner, so he comes to the compound within the hour, pacing the length of the house with them as they await Romanoff’s signal. There’s some kind of hostage situation going on—but hopefully, Peter will be okay. “He’s a strong kid,” says Bruce Banner, adjusting his classes. “I’m sure he’s okay.”

Pepper purses her lips. Bruce didn’t see the livestream that they did. At the bare minimum, Peter would need severe medical attention and lots of nourishment. “Yeah,” she says. He’d been tortured for months, and where had they been?

They get Romanoff’s signal around 1:00 AM, when Happy says, “Ready?”

Bruce nods, cracking his knuckles and then his back; he transforms quickly and efficiently as they leave the house giant and angry and green and remarkably calm. Pepper watches the whole thing from a body-camera on Happy’s suit. The Hulk tears away the sheet-metal doors in one go, finding the weak spots in the metal and peeling them apart like a mandarin orange. It’s a quiet, composed operation—that frantic tone of fear has left them now that they know Peter Parker is safe.

Inside, Tony is in the main room, kneeled in front of the television like a layman at a prayer bench, one hand pressed to the dark screen. Even as Happy and Bruce enter the room, he doesn’t seem to move, simply clutching a corded housephone in one hand.

Pepper remembers what happened the last time they tried to force him from the lab: him waving a gun around like a lunatic, shooting at Rhodey and her, him jamming the muzzle of the gun into his own chin… It was terrifying .

But this… This is what Tony’s like now? Calm, still, subdued? It’s unnerving.

As the two men—one human, one monster—get closer, Tony seems to hear it, because he turns his head slightly, dulled gaze landing on the two of them. “Oh,” he says calmly, like he’s seeing a pizza delivery man instead of his concerned friends. He turns back to the television, eyes still glued there. “Dum-E,” he says, speaking to his armed robot, “get me, uh, four hundred milligrams of amisulpride, please. In the little tablets, okay, not the ones I gotta—gotta choke down. And some water, too.”

Confused, Happy and Bruce take another couple steps forward as the little robot rolls across the room. “Tony,” tries Happy, rounding to the side of the television to try to get his attention. He doesn’t seem wounded, just tired, so they approach him slowly. “Listen to me. We’re here to break you out. We rescued Peter—they’re bringing him to a hospital ASAP. You’re free.”

He ignores them, choosing instead to stare wholeheartedly at the television screen. Amisulpride , Pepper thinks, and she googles it quickly on her smartphone. It’s an antipsychotic, she realizes. Meant for schizophrenics and acute hallucinations. He’s been prescribing himself anti-hallucinogenic drugs?

The realization comes too slowly. He’s been hallucinating them. Coming to save him, probably, just like Happy and Bruce are doing now. He thinks he’s seeing things.

Pepper grasps her phone and heads for the lab; Tony’s clearly not a danger to anyone anymore. She needs to prove to him that they’re real. Over Happy’s body-cam, they try to convince Tony they’re real, but he continues to ignore them, shuffling around the lab and taking a small cup of pills before settling in front of the television again.

Ankles aching, Pepper makes it to the lab in a couple minutes, and she bursts inside through the peeled-open doors.

The lab looks like something out of A Beautiful Mind. Papers line every inch of every wall, taped to the floor, the ceiling, the tables, the cabinets. He’s scribbled on bare walls and more, on ceilings and doors, math formulas and chemistry equations and design sketches. His handwriting varies from neat print to crazed scribbles. Stacks and stacks of papers line the floor, so much that there’s barely anywhere to step. There’s half-created weaponry all over—pistols and cannons and automatic guns, all lit with this strange blue light.

Oh. This is what he’s been doing this whole time. That’s why he’s locked in his lab.

They took Peter to force Tony to create weapons.

“Happy, is he armed?” she demands.

“No, ma’am.”

Holding her belly, she runs to him as well as she can, kneeling awkwardly beside him and grabbing him by the arm. “Tony,” she says then, hoping he doesn’t flip out like last time. “Tony, look at me .”

“Hey, sweetheart,” he says, without a moment of hesitation, but her fiancé—ex-fiancé—doesn’t look at her. Still in that dull monotone. “Always good to see you.”

He talks to his other robot then, muttering under his breath about other antipsychotics and drug interactions. Didn’t he see what happened to Peter? Didn’t he see the rescue?

Right. Another hallucination.

“Dum-E, bring up Queens Project Mark 49. And bring up the last stats for, uh, blast radius in testing.”

She shakes his arm again, hard. “Tony! Hey! It’s me!”

Then she pinched the skin of his elbow. This seems to wake him a little, because he shifts his arm away from her. Tonylooks at her this time; such asadnesspervades his face that she places a hand on her belly. “Tony,” she says. “I’m real. Happy’s real. This is all…real, okay, honey? I’m really here. Peter—he’s safe. We got him. We got him out.”

His eyes flicker down to her pregnant stomach; his expression melts from melancholy to confusion. “You’re…”

“Yes!” she assures, nodding, almost ready to cry.

He stops talking. He just stares at her with that familiar I’ll-figure-it-out way. Suddenly, he’s Tony again: Tony the mechanic. “Dum-E,” he says, “scan the room for heat signatures.”

A beep of affirmation.

“How—how many, buddy?”

Four succinct beeps from the little robot.

Tony falls backwards so suddenly that Pepper reaches out to catch him by the wrist. He’s lighter, a little thinner. His hair’s scraggly and much grayer, more salt than pepper. His beard’s a couple inches long, like he hasn’t shaved since April—both his hair and his beard are tangled into mats, and he reeks of body odor and sweat. He’s like something out of Castaway . It’s so typical of Tony not to take care of himself into the work is done. “Pepper,” he says, tired surprise lighting his eyes. “Pepper?”

“Yes,” she says, firmly. “It’s me.”

He’s shaken. Confused. Still a little slow. But for once, he seems like he’s listening. “But…” His face seems to cave in, crumpling like a pine tree under the force of an avalanche. Then, in an exhausted, miserable tone: “Is he dead?”

“No,” she says, “he’s safe. We got him, Tony. He’s free. We’ve got him. We’ve got him.”

“You…” His gears are turning, spinning and clicking in that brain of his. “But…”

“He’s safe,” she assures him, grasping his upper arm. “Tony, he’s free. Steve and Barnes and the others—they broke into the bunker and got him. They’re gonna be locked up. All of them. Didn’t you see, on the livestream? They got him out.”

“Out,” Tony echoes, disbelief written all over his face. He scratches at his matted hair, turning to look around the room. All of his movements are jerky and strange, like that of a broken wind-up toy. “But I thought… I thought…”

“They’re okay,” she says. “Everyone’s okay.” His hand’s trembling badly, his fingers twitchy and strange. Not in an emotional way—but the way he used to shake when his arc reactor was poisoning him. Medically troubling trembling. “We can take you to him, sweetheart. They’re gonna bring him to a hospital in New Hampshire. You wanna see him?”

He nods emptily. He still seems confused.

Pepper leads him to the doorway, Happy and the Hulk at their heels, and he lingers there, halting his feet at the threshold. “Tony,” she says, tugging his hand. “It’s okay.”

Still Tony pauses, now seeming wildly unsure. “I can’t,” he says, suddenly breathless and blinking. “I can’t—I can’t—I can’t—” He backs up, tripping backwards over his feet, and the Hulk catches him; he startles at the sudden touch. “Banner,” he says, as if seeing him for the first time. “What are you… When…”

“He’s with me, Tony. He came here to make sure you were okay.”

“They never hurt me,” says Tony emptily. “They never… They only…” He presses at the side of his head as though from a sudden migraine, and he rubs at his forehead, eyes scanning the room once more. “Dum-E,” he says again. “Heat signatures. Heat signatures.”

Again, four beeps from the robot.

Frustrated, he says again, waving his hands at the robot, “Heat signatures, Dum-E! I said heat signatures!”

Despite his name, the little robot is highly intelligent. Slowly, loudly, it beeps again: one, two, three, four.

“Tony, look at me.” That shattered gaze meets hers, his usual Stark beard unrecognizable, the dark circles under his eyes dark and cutting. “Peter’s safe. He’s safe , you understand me? The Avengers rescued him. He’s okay. It’s over—it’s over .”

He shakes his head. “He’s safe?” Tony whispers. “He… Are you… Are you sure?”

“Yes, honey. Yes. Yes. He’s safe. They’re not gonna hurt him again. You’re free. We got Peter out. You’re free.”

The man crumples then, falling hard on one knee, the other, slumping sideways like a man who hasn’t slept in a year; for the second time, the Hulk catches him in his green arms and helps him up, bracing him easily with one arm. “Peter… Peter got out?”

There’s a stone in her throat now, making swallowing suddenly painful. “Yes, baby,” she says, close to tears. “Yes, yes, he got out. He got out. He’s gonna be okay.” Still in Hulk form, Banner helps him to the doorway, and this time he halts at the doorway for only a second, looking at Pepper to confirm. “It’s okay, honey, nothing’s gonna happen. It’s okay—come on.” She helps him through, and at last he takes a step outside, blinking like he’s never seen the sidewalk before, glancing back at the lab like a child who’s left his room past bedtime.

“Where is he?” Tony whispers, his words stilted and dry. “Can I… Can I…”

Pepper rubs his hand; she hasn’t touched him in months, and it’s like coming home. “Yeah. Let’s go see the kid.”

FRIDAY, AUGUST 24 — 1:11 AM

Clint walks little Cassie all the way to an emergency clinic at the base of the mountain, carrying her the entire way.

He half-expects the girl to fall asleep in his arms like his son usually does, but she only seems to grow more agitated as time goes on, shaking and crying.

When they reach the clinic, the employees there very quickly admit that they don’t have the resources to fix her up, neither are they enhanced-friendly, so they get an ambulance ride to the nearest major hospital in the state, one near a college in central New Hampshire. It’s swarmed with college students, elderly people, and little kids getting checkups, so they’re not exactly prepared when a man dressed in a purple jumpsuit and a bloodied little girl with a buzz-cut burst out of the ambulance.

“H-Hawkeye,” gasps one of the doctors who greets the ambulance. The woman quickly swallows her awe, though, turning her attention to the bloody girl in his arms. “What do we got, Max?” she asks the paramedic, a person with short, curly hair who’s pushing the stretcher.


Clint supposes it makes sense in a county so small that the paramedics and doctors would know each other.

Max gives a short nod. “Seven-year-old female, vitals stable, severely malnourished, chief complaint of neck and head pain, crushed hand, resistant to treatment so far—she’s tachycardic, pulse at two-hundred—we haven’t been able to calm her down.” The paramedics couldn’t even get a cervical collar around her neck while she was in the ambulance; Clint can’t imagine what her kidnappers did to her to make her this frightened.

One of the doctors isn’t listening, approaching the girl in Clint’s arms—the kid starts screaming bloody murder as soon as the doctor puts her hands on her, so she quickly retracts her gloved fingers. Another tries to prod at her bloodstained head and she shrieks so loud that everyone nearby jumps. This isn’t gonna be easy. Cassie’s crying harder now, her little arms clasped tightly around Clint’s neck, like it’s the only thing keeping her from descending into the belly of a volcano.

Max the paramedic continues, “No evident trauma, but…” The paramedic looks to Clint, suddenly, discomfort flashing across their face.

Clint clears his throat. “She was… She was kidnapped.” Every doctor in the place seems to pause. “She’s been missing for four months. Her name’s Cassandra Paxton-Lang.”

The main doctor looks stiff now, but she keeps going, following the stretcher as it pushes through the hospital’s double doors. “Let’s just take them to trauma room one. Sir—are you hurt?”

She’s talking to him . “No,” he says. “Just the girl.”

“Alright—you okay to carry her? Doesn’t seem like she’s letting go anytime soon.”

“Yeah,” he answers. “I got her.”

“Alright—follow me.”

Cassie curls tighter into his arms; Clint hears her whispering under her breath, shakily, for Peter.

FRIDAY, AUGUST 24 — 1:29 AM

When they escort Tony out of his lab, he shakes so violently that he falls several times. Why the hell is he trembling so much? Happy and Pepper help him to the compound’s landing pad and into the Quinjet, where a pilot waits for them; they’re going to fly out to New Hampshire and pick up the Avengers and Peter. A jet is faster than a plane any day.

Tony is in a daze the whole flight, barely there, staring off into space and muttering to himself. Pepper keeps rubbing his hand to try to wake him up. He’s barely real to her, too; this whole flight feels like a fever dream. Happy calls Peter’s friends—Ned and MJ—letting them know that they’ve got Peter and warning them to keep quiet; next he contacts the Medbay at Avengers Tower, telling them to let May Parker know once she wakes.

He’s generally pretty quiet; he keeps glancing at Pepper like she’s a ghost. He keeps getting up and pacing the room in frantic circles, muttering to himself about chemicals and blast radii before slumping into chairs. She manages to get him into the shower at one point—a small cubicle inside the jet that sprays recycled water. It’s mostly meant to clean off the Avengers after a particularly disgusting fight, but it works now, too, cleaning off her fiancé as he braces himself against the glass. When he staggers out, Happy gets him a pair of fresh clothes—he has such trouble putting them on with his twitching limbs that both she and Happy have to help him into them. “Sorry,” he says, as Pepper stares at his trembling hands. “It’s the pills.”

“What pills?” she asks.

“Made some…” His eyes are so bloodshot that his lids are swollen. “…sleeping pills. Not-sleeping pills. Helped me stay up so I—so I could work. f*cked my nervous system.” He blinks at Pepper, still dazed. “Sorry.”

“It’s okay,” she says, hand braced against his back, but she’s not sure what he’s apologizing for. God, his beard is unbearably long. It’s a couple inches long, longer than she’s ever seen it before. Gray and tangled like he’s an old motorcyclist. She asks, quietly, if she can cut it for him; Tony nods vaguely and lifts his chin, baring his neck and closing his eyes like she just asked to slit his throat with a straight-razor. “I meant later,” she says.

He tips his head down.“Sorry,” he says again, like he hasn’t said it a million times already. “I’m so sorry, Pep.” Tony touches her face with his long fingernails, caressing her cheek like he’s blind and she can see, like a child taking a bite of a lemon. “You have to be real… because I never… I never dreamt this.” His gaze drops to her swollen belly. “Is it… Is it mine?” The question is tender, like a rare cut of tenderloin.

“Of course it’s yours,” she says, and her chest burns suddenly.

He slumps forward, clutching her hand in both of his. “I’m sorry,” he says again. “Sorry, I’m sorry…”

Taken aback, she touches his knee, the fabric damp from the shower. “Tony. Tony, honey. Look at me.”

Her fiancé— ex-fiancé? —obeys, that dulled gaze lifting to meet hers. “I forgive you, okay? You did it all for Peter. I understand. I’ve understood for a while.”

Tony barely nods in response, just sighing and tipping his head against her shoulder.

The Quinjet arrives in the White Mountains in a small clearing near the location the others sent— they can see a group of Avengers; the Winter Soldier tugging Captain America’s arm around his shoulders. and Rhodey, full in his suit, carrying a corpse.

Not a corpse. Peter.

God, his hair’s so long. He’s so small. So thin. So pale. It’s doubly horrifying to see him in person rather than on screen, because every pore, every mark, every scar, every bruise is crystal-clear now. Peter looks like something dead, like a deteriorating cadaver or melted clay.

Like a man possessed, Tony staggers out of the jet and towards the pair. “Give him to me,” he chokes out. “Give him…”

Rhodey gives a sharp, concerned look to Pepper, and she nods in response. Rhodey lets go gently, one arm before the other, as though transferring a bomb from his arms to Tony’s.

“Peter,” the man sobs, and he gathers the limp kid into his trembling arms. “Oh, kid… Oh, Peter…” Rhodey braces his arms beneath Tony's, unsure if the shaking man can take the weight. “Oh, god… Oh, my god… My boy…” He holds the kid the way only parents do, tucking the blanket around his bruised neck and tipping his head into the crook of his shoulder. And although his knees waver, Tony stands, lifting up the kid of his own volition, walking back to the Quinjet, still cradling that poor boy.

“Where’s Nat?” asks Bruce, once they’re all in the jet, cracking his knuckles. He’s back in human form now, but his demeanor is just the same: composed and concerned.

Rhodey answers him, watching Tony carefully as he cradles the boy. “She and Wilson stayed behind—had to make sure police showed up to lock those HYDRA guys away.”

Bucky answers him, Steve’s arm still wrapped around his shoulders. “Not HYDRA,” he says curtly, before helping Steve into one of the jet’s medical cots.

For the duration of the plane ride, Tony refuses to let the kid go. He keeps Peter curled up in his lap, wraps him in another blanket with trembling fingers, and holds him like a baby, sobbing. “I’m so sorry,” he chokes out, his voice cracking. “I got you, buddy, I got you…” He brushes the kid’s matted hair away from his face, tucking oily strands behind his ears, then hovering his hand over the bruises on his neck in abject horror.

He repeats all of these phrases like a mantra, like a curse, like a seance: I’m sorry and it’s all my fault and I'm here and forgive me and I've got you now.

Tony’s got the kid’s battered skull, starved torso and skinny limbs all wrapped up like an infant, and there’s something about Peter that makes him seem a dozen years younger than he is—the way his bruised body is tucked into the blanket into Tony’s as he sleeps—the way Tony cradles him, gentle, like Peter’s made of glass. “I’m here,” sobs the billionaire, his hand cupping the nape of his neck, propping his head up with his shoulder. He looks like he’s held the kid a thousand times before; he fits into Tony’s arms like a puzzle piece. “I’m here, Peter… I’m here.”

On the other side of the plane, Steve and Bucky sit next to each other on the floor of the plane; Steve’s sobbing relentlessly into Bucky’s shoulder, Bucky wrapping his arms around the other man. “Your face,” says the Winter Soldier, his voice dark and still. “Who did this.”

It’s not a question; it’s a command.

But Steve doesn’t even respond; he just caves in on himself, his broad shoulders shaking as he cries. “I’ll kill him,” Bucky says.

Steve doesn’t say anything.

It’s a quick flight to the hospital—barely ten minutes.

Clint sends them the address, so the pilot flies a straight-shot to it.There’s a landing pad on the hospital roof; the pilot lands the Quinjet there, where a crowd of paramedics wait in orange vests with a few stretchers. They place Peter into the first stretcher, whisking him away; they try to coax Tony into the second, but he waves them all away before staggering loudly after Peter. The third stretcher takes Steve Rogers, strapping a cervical collar around his neck and encouraging him to lie down, and Bucky rushes after him.

The emergency medical team takes Peter directly inside, where they bring Peter to a trauma room and shut the door. The remaining Avengers—Bruce, Happy, Rhodey, Tony, and Pepper—find themselves in the waiting room.

Pepper fills out form after form—she identifies herself as Peter’s temporary guardian so that she can make medical decisions for him. May can barely talk, so she’s in no place to be moved to another state; she’ll call with any updates and major decisions. Tony doesn’t even fight her on it, either. It’s what makes sense—Pepper is one of the kid’s emergency contacts, in control of Stark Industries, has a stable house and home, and doesn’t have a highly public physical abuse accusation on her head like Tony does. So she fills out all of the forms herself and hands them to the front desk.

They give them as much information as they can: yes, he’s been missing for four months; no , he’s not allergic to any medications; yes, he’s enhanced. Banner has most of his medical records on file, and he transfers the information with a couple taps on his work phone. Tony seems to have the most knowledge of what Peter’s been through, so the doctors whisk him away to talk about Peter’s condition.

When Tony comes back, he slumps into the waiting room chair and tucks his trembling hands under his thighs as he sits, like a second grader in the principal’s office. He mumbles unintelligible to himself and jumps as Pepper touches his arm again, like he forgot she was there.

They’re not there for most of it—but they see the aftermath. One of the doctors staggers out of the exam room with his hand to his chest and faints in the hallway; another doctor only lasts a couple minutes before he stumbles out like a man blinded, passes through the front doors, and crumples onto a bench outside, sobbing.

Those who do manage to keep their cool have this strange, dull look in their eyes—a repressed revulsion, like they’re swallowing knives or choking down vomit. And even still, the rest of the medical team—doctors and nurses and other physicians—all leave the room looking pale and shaken.

This isn’t something the average person can bear to witness.

Tony spends most of the time pacing around the waiting room, squinting at the windows and doors; he can barely sit still. He’s so twitchy ; she wonders what pills he’s been taking.

Eventually a woman comes out, snapping rubber gloves off and tossing them before she approaches them, reknotting her auburn ponytail as she does. “You’re Peter’s family?”

They all give various affirmations; from Tony, a croaky “yes.”

She introduces herself as Dr. Jackson, the head of surgery at the hospital. “He’s stable,” she says, “But he’s in bad shape. It’s clear that during his…” Even the doctor, it seems, has trouble speaking out loud about Peter’s experience. “...time lost, he sustained a lot of consistent damage. The good news, Ms. Potts, is that most of his injuries have healed. Old bone breaks, old lacerations… He looks a lot worse than he is. But he’s severely malnourished, which probably ate away at his enhanced healing; that’s why he looks so…” Dr. Jackson clears her throat. “He’s been eating maybe a fifth of what he should be—another few months of eating like this and he’d probably be dead. Currently, his body is too weak to heal anything properly—we’re just trying to keep him stable for now. And he has a lot of drugs in his system, so we’re trying to flush those out before we give him anything else. I will say he doesn’t have any emergent injuries—nothing fatal, nothing requiring emergency surgery—but I’m a little worried about his throat and his leg. That bone is so shattered…”

Pepper remembers seeing that knee—a mess of flattened muscle and bone, like tenderized meat.

“And his vocal cords,” the doctor continues. “There’s some bad lesions from the strangulation, so I doubt he’ll be able to speak for at least a couple days. Other than that… Keeping him alive is our main priority. We stitched some—some wounds on his back, but we don’t want to put his body through any unnecessary stress right now. If he wasn’t enhanced, he’d be dead a dozen times over. So for now, no surgeries, no resetting bones. We just need to keep him stable.”

The woman keeps echoing those words: stable, stable, stable. “So he’s okay?” asks Pepper.

The doctor presses her lips together. “For now, yes. I can’t make any promises. But if he pulls through, he’s… He’s going to have a rough recovery.”

“Can we see him?” asks Tony, holding himself up with the arm of his chair. “Please, please, I have to see him…”

Dr. Jackson nods. “Yes, of course.” She takes them down the hall, all the way to a door emblazoned 188. They enter the hospital room in pairs: Tony and Pepper, Happy and Rhodey. There’s a nurse inside with scruffy brown hair—she’s adjusting Peter’s leg, soaking pink strips of fiberglass netting in water and looping each strip around his leg and allowing it to dry until it hardens. They must be trying to keep the broken bone stable. “Peter,” says Tony, his voice like cracked plaster. “Peter.” Her fiancé takes a step towards the white-draped bed, and his knees buckle beneath him; Pepper and Happy catch him by both arms, pushing him gently into a nearby chair.

Although frail, Peter looks better, albeit barely; his skin is made of wax-paper, his bones made of cardboard poking through. His small form besieged by white linens and whiter bandages. The kid’s sleeping on his back, his arms bandaged and resting at his sides. A clear-plastic oxygen mask shrouds his nose and mouth, and his head now rests on a soft pillow instead of a shaking hand.

“He’s awake,” says Pepper, the strawberry-blonde woman, taking a couple steps towards the hospital bed. He is. Peter’s eyelids flutter beneath those wax-paper lids, his eyes like pomegranate-seeds rolling dark beneath. Ever so often, his chin lifts and turns, like he’s trying to see, like he’s fighting to open them. None of the rest of his body moves; he’s still, like a paper-mache figurine—his body made of chicken-wire bone, paper-strip skin and resin-glue muscle.

“Yes,” confirms the nurse, still wrapping Peter’s leg. “Didn’t Dr. Jackson tell you? We couldn’t put him all the way out—we’re still working out the other drugs in his system.”

“He can hear me?” whispers Tony, still in the chair. He touches Peter’s hand, like he’s not supposed to, and then grabs one finger at a time, stroking gently, until he’s got the kid by his hand.

The nurse presses her lips together. “I couldn’t be sure,” she says. “It’s probably hazy—but yes, he can probably hear you. ”

Nodding, the trembling man squeezes Peter’s hand, his fingertips barely compressing the kid’s. He leans forward then, whispering something to the kid. She doesn’t hear the words, but she sees her fiancé’s lips move: Hey, buddy. Then he tips his head forward, his forehead eventually resting on Peter’s forearm, his other hand grasping the crook of his elbow.

And, within seconds, he’s asleep.

FRIDAY, AUGUST 24 —2:16 AM

The bullet wounds in Steve’s chest have mostly healed by virtue of his super-healing, but Bucky’s frankly horrified by the ones in his shoulder. Someone would’ve had to hold a gun to the skin of his shoulder and fire point-blank in order to get that kind of impact on a super-soldier’s muscle. His shoulder’s been wrecked.

The doctors fix up the shoulder neatly, stitching the wounds closed and bandaging it up tight. Steve’s quiet through the entire process, which is unusual for him. He’s not exactly an ideal patient, either—he keeps jerking away from the doctor’s hands; he gets so uncomfortable at the sensation of the stethoscope on his back that he accidentally knocks away the medical cart when he flails.

Bucky grips his hand tight the entire time. “You know, I thought I lost you for a second there, soldier,” he says.

He’s expecting a response like “Can’t get rid of me that easy,” or “No one can keep Captain America down” or something, but instead Steve says tiredly: “Me, too.”

When they get to his head, prodding with rubber-gloved hands and trying to hold his head still, Steve gets a little flighty, ducking their hands and pulling away. “I heal quick,” he says, and there’s a tinge of hysteria to his voice that’s impossible to miss. “It’s fine. I’m fine.”

Bucky grumbles, “If you don’t let them look at you, I’m moving out.”

So Steve, tense with stress, lets the physicians fix up his head. Most of the cuts are superficial; “Hatchet,” Steve says, when the doctor asks about the mess of bloody bruises on his face and head. They stitch up the worst of the cuts, tape the rest, and prescribe bedrest for the concussions.

And Bucky stays with him through every procedure. The doctors give him fluids to flush the drugs out of his system, as well as some local anesthetic for his wounds, and an orthopedic doctor resets his dislocated thumb. “How’d that happen?” asks Bucky, and when he touches Steve’s knee he flinches.

He flinches.

Bucky draws his hand back; Steve seems to recognize the mistake he made, because he reaches for Bucky’s hand and clasps tightly. “Don’t leave,” Steve says, “please.”

“I’m not going anywhere,” says Bucky.

Steve’s been in a thousand fights—beatings. stabbings, shootouts—but he doesn’t usually come back so quiet that Bucky has to coax every sentence out of him and flinches at small touches.

“Handcuffs,” answers Steve finally, head resting against Bucky’s shoulder, and he doesn’t say anything else.

The doctors seem to filter out until at last there’s just a nurse left, one who adjusts Steve’s IV and switches the fluid bag for a fresh one. “Did you have any other injuries?” she asks.

Steve looks suddenly miserable. “No,” he says. “That’s it.”

He can’t get much of an explanation from Steve. He mentions something about a police officer who got her head smashed in and a little girl who ran through the woods, but not much else.

Steve’s far too quiet.

FRIDAY, AUGUST 24 — 2:44 AM

Natasha and Sam turn over fifteen people to the authorities, all involved in Peter’s kidnapping. Many were identified as missing addicts localized in New York, one as a scientist who previously worked for Tony Stark, and the rest remained unidentified, refusing to give their names to the police.

None of them are doing much talking.

Some of them needed medical attention, so they were transferred to a nearby major hospital—somewhere far from Peter and Cassie, by Natasha’s demand. They follow the perpetrators there, get their hospital room numbers, and enter their rooms still dressed in their blood-spattered superhero suits. Legally, sure, they shouldn’t be going anywhere near these guys, at least not until morning, but Natasha doesn’t care. She needs to know exactly led the charge on the kidnapping—and she doubts it’s the addicts, given their general state of knowledge and wild dependence on drugs.

The first one is a man named Charles Keene. Twenty-eight, Bronx native, long-time PCP addict with multiple warrants for his arrest, reported missing since early April. He gave up his identity pretty much right away and had been begging for drugs since he got to the hospital. “Why did you do it?” asks Sam, before the man can say a word.

The man gives a wild-eyed grin and rattles the handcuffs keeping him contained to the bed.“I’m not telling you a thing! You don’t know me! You don’t know me! I’m a f*cking genius, you know… My plan was going so well…”

“And what,” adds Natasha, pacing the foot of the hospital bed with cold eyes, “was that plan, exactly?”

The man’s missing one hand—Natasha remembers the blast well, the one that vaporized Scott lang in a plume of blue light, killing him instantly. Took the guy’s hand, too; it’s currently wrapped in bandages, a stump ending at his wrist. Otherwise, Charles Keene is mostly uninjured. “I’M GOING TO RULE THE WORLD!” he cackles, ignoring the question. He starts giggling to himself, sweat rolling down his forehead. “I’m gonna… I’m gonna…”

So, he’s still high. Perfect.

“What about Peter Parker?” prods Sam Wilson beside her. He’s still got his Falcon glasses on, the red ones. “How did you take him? How’d you know about him?”

Another wild grin. “Peter Parker…” says the man, echoing the boy’s name. “You know, when I killed that f*cking traitor, itsy bitsy Parker held onto like… like a baby, like a pathetic little—” He laughs loudly, interrupting himself. “You ever seen brains explode onto someone’s face? Scares the living sh*t out of ‘em, ha! Literally! THE KID f*ckING PISSED HIMSELF SILLY WHEN I DID IT! I PULLED THE TRIGGER! THAT f*ckING FREAK—”

In a split second, Natasha’s at the man’s bedside, grabbing his hair and slamming his head against the bedrest. “Say one more thing about the kid,” she says, her voice deadly quiet, “and I’ll castrate you like I did the pedophile.”

They can’t get much more out of Charles Keene. He mostly rambles about the people he’s killed and about ‘running the world’ and ‘becoming emperor of the sun’ or whatever else power-hungry junkie murderers think on a daily basis.

So they move onto their next interrogation—the hospitalized Quentin Beck, the one who they caught jerking off back in the bunker. When the brown-haired man sees her, he scowls deeply. “Oh, look,” he says, far too calm. “It’s the ginger bitch who stabbed me.”

“Oh, look,” Nat shoots back, filling her voice with acid, “it’s the sleazeball who gets off to kids being tortured. You know what they do to child molestors in prison, Beck?”

“Peter’s not a child,” he spits, and then, realizing his mistake, backtracks quickly. “I didn’t do anything to anyone.”

“Sure,” she says darkly, watching his rage bubble. “So how’s the wound, then? You lose one ball or two?” She snuck a look at his chart at the nurse’s station—she knows the guy lost a testicl* and then some. “Can you even get it up anymore—”

“You bitch!” he shouts. “You think you’re so great, just because you’ve got an Avengers nametag and Stark’s cash up your ass? Huh? All you Avengers are f*cking whor*s! ” He gives her this vicious smirk, and Nat feels a sudden rush of confusion. “You know, I heard Steve Rogers is real good at sucking dick—he tell you that?”

Natasha goes quiet; her face goes cold with fury.

“Yeah,” he says, getting more confident as Nat’s anger rises, “he does this little trick with his tongue. f*cking incredible.” And then, after a moment to let it sink in: “Or so I’ve heard.”

“Careful, Beck,” says Sam Wilson, but the man doesn’t stop talking.

“And he can swallow, too—takes it like a greedy whor*, can you believe it? Captain America himself.” He’s grinning now at the redheaded assassin. “So unless you want the whole world to know that their precious Cap likes it up the ass, you’re gonna let me go.”

Nat stares hard at the brown-haired man; her arms remain folded, her posture taut. “Sam, let’s go,” she says. “We’re done here.”

She keeps the recording of their conversation and sends it to the local chief of police; it’s not worth much, given most of it can be classified as hearsay, but it’s something.

FRIDAY, AUGUST 24 — 3:38 AM

Natasha arrives at the hospital on a mission.

She finds Steve’s hospital room with ease, knocks lightly on the door, and enters to find Steve laying in the bed with Bucky beside him; they’re holding hands. “Steve,” she says, taking a quick glance to Bucky. It doesn’t look like he knows. “Can I talk to you for a second?”

“Sure,” he says, not paying her much attention. He seems tired, but she can tell; there’s something hidden behind his eyes.

She glances between them once more. “It’s about the kidnappers.”

The man clearly isn’t catching her tone because he says, “Tell Bucky. I don’t really care what you do with them.”

Жопа с ручкой. “Steve,” she tries again, filling her voice with some kind of emphasis, with everything that she just heard at the other hospital. At her strange tone, Bucky looks up, his black-painted gaze revealing only slight confusion; her gaze flickers to Bucky and back.

It finally seems to click in Steve’s mind, because he lets go of Bucky’s hand, sitting back. “Oh,” he says, and his whole body stiffens. “Who told you?”

He did,” she says quietly.

“Oh.”

Bucky’s looking back and forth between them. “What?” he asks. “What happened?”

Natasha ignores him; “Did you tell the doctor?” she asks.

“Why would I do that?” he says sharply. “He didn’t injure me.”

Now, the words settle in Bucky’s brain, because he looks suddenly to Natasha with clear eyes, his brow hardening. “He…” The Winter Soldier looks at Steve, tries to reach his gaze, and Steve just grips his knees tight and stares at the base of the bed. “One of them assaulted you?”

Steve stiffens again like he’s been struck. “No one assaulted me,” the man says. “He was going after Peter. I just…kept his eyes on me.”

Bucky looks raw.

“What happened?” tries Natasha.

Steve’s head is still turned away from Bucky. “He was gonna do something to Peter. He was… He’d done it earlier, touching him, but this time I wasn’t strong enough to fight him. They’d drugged me, so I… I couldn’t do anything. So I thought… I just… I thought maybe it would stop him.”

Bucky’s voice is liquid-nitrogen cold, so icy it burns her ears. “Maybe what would stop him?”

Steve’s head is in his hands. “If I offered to… to… to give him… to…” He lets out this shaky breath. “...if I…sucked him off.”

The shame in his voice clouds the room.

“What?” asks Bucky, in some kind of restrained fury. “Who?”

Steve can’t bear to look at him. “I don't know his name,” he says miserably.

“Steve,” says Natasha, and the man shakes his head, “that’s assau—”

“No one assaulted me,” he says. “I just… I’m sorry.”

Natasha blinks. “What the hell do you have to be sorry for? He’s the one who assaulted y—”

“I said no one assaulted me!”

She shuts up.

“Look,” he continues, his tone sharp and bitter, “I was in full control of the situation. He never would’ve even thought about it if I hadn’t suggested it. I… I wanted to do it. And then the rest… It was just touching, it wasn’t anything. Really.”

“The rest?” echoes Bucky, choking on the words.

“And I didn’t ask for that part, but I didn’t stop him because I knew—I knew it’d stop him from doing it to Peter. So I… I let it happen. I did. I never said no, I never fought back. I wasn't assaulted.” He rubs the back of his hand across his mouth. “I just—you don’t understand what it was like in there. I was just trying to protect the kid. He was destroying him, and I—so I just kept offering until he—until he took me up on it. And I didn’t—I didn’t mean to cheat on you, Buck, I—” He’s tearing up now, ripples of water shining in his eyes, and he rubs at his face. “It was only one time, I swear—and the other stuff was just—you didn’t see it, you weren’t there, I had to do it, Peter was so scared and I had nothing else…”

“Steve,” she tries again, “no one’s saying—”

Steve turns to Bucky finally and grasps the other man firmly by the arms; Natasha takes a step back, feeling suddenly like she’s intruding on something intimate. “Bucky,” he says, and the tears are coming down his face now, the bitter tone in his voice mellowing into a miserable plea. “I swear. I swear on my life. I—I was just trying to keep him away from the kid, and—I had nothing. Nothing . Nothing but my body to trade and—that’s what I had to do. I was just doing what I had to do.”

The Winter Soldier softens slightly, his hands curling around Steve’s forearms. “I know, Stevie,” he says, “I know.”

Steve Rogers’ face is shining. “Bucky—please—please understand. I didn’t want to, I didn’t mean to hurt you… I just—I was just trying to keep him away from Peter and I—it was all I had , baby, it… It was all I had .”

“I know,” he says, and he’s holding Steve, “it’s okay, I know.”

Steve cries into Bucky’s shoulder. “It was—it was all I had, I couldn’t… It was all I had .”

FRIDAY, AUGUST 24 — 4:50 AM

Clint finds an empty conference room and sits in it.

He just wants somewhere quiet to digest what has just happened. That little girl… They’d been torturing her. Torture was too clinical a word. They’d trapped her, beaten her, starved her, kept her away from her family, and frightened her to such a point that she couldn’t recognize a hospital as a safe place.

Nat comes in not long after him, her footsteps near-silent. “Wondered where you’d gone,” she says. “You good?”

No matter his answer, Nat could probably read it off of his stance alone—hunched in a chair with his head in his hands. “Not really,” he says, and she stands in the corner with her arms folded.

The next arrival is Sam Wilson, who’s looking slightly green and wiping at his mouth. He grips the doorway as he enters as though to right himself, and then slumps into a rolling chair on the opposite side of the room. After him comes Rhodes, who passes Clint and Nat to speak to Sam, speaking to him quietly in firm, slow words. Sam nods as he speaks, head bobbing like a kid in a classroom.

And finally there’s Bruce, who grunts as he moves into the corner opposite Nat and folds his arms, mirroring the spy.

Each of them stay where they are, dejected and in shock.

“This is bad,” says Clint after a long period of silence. “This is really, really bad.”

“Yeah,” says Sam Wilson, who hasn’t been able to say much else this entire time.

More silence.

“How could we miss this?” says Rhodes. He’s dressed in a dark military uniform: black camo pants and a black top, and the braces on his legs match. “How—” He looks up, his gaze ice-cold and trained on Nat. “I thought you and Barnes cleaned out all the HYDRA bunkers last year.”

“We did,” she says stiffly, clearly not pleased at the accusation. “They weren’t HYDRA.”

“Then who were they?”

“I don’t think that matters right now,” she shoots back. “All of them are dead or in custody. We can take care of them later.”

“And what about Steve?” asks the man. “And Barnes?”

Nat shakes her head. “I think Steve’s gotta stay for a couple days.” She tries not to think too hard about Steve and that asshole Quentin Beck; if she does, she’s sure Clint will read it right off of her face. “Bucky’s staying with him.”

Terse silence.

“I’ve gotta go check on the girl,” says Clint finally, and Sam Wilson follows him, muttering something about calling his sister.

The rest of them stay behind, heads hung low. A sense of shame seems to wash over the room.

They’ve really messed up.

Notes:

i just watched young royals and it is not all it's cracked up to be haha, cute tho

i also rewatched a sh*t-ton of grey's anatomy as research for this chap haha, season 1 peak babyyyy

more cassie next chap, it'll be super cassie and peter focused i think

lmk what u think, love u

Chapter 22: god stood me up

Summary:

Tony wakes to Peter’s monitor going buck-wild; the beeping erratic and high-pitched. Peter makes noise as he wakes, raspy sounds escaping his bruised throat. As Tony touches his face, trying to calm him down, his whole body goes fraught with tension, suddenly iron-stiff on the bed. He goes so still that his chest doesn’t move, and Tony can tell from the monitors: the kid’s holding his breath.

Notes:

man i am always so close to this deadline, 22 min after midnight, my apologies

have fun guys

chap title from 'lights are on' by tom rosenthal

CW: medical stuff, rape kits, references to torture, general injury stuff

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

FRIDAY, AUGUST 24 — 5:47 AM

Secretary Ross is in his office when he hears the news.

The f*cking Avengers found them. Broke them all out in one night.

“They gave me one f*cking phone call,” spits that scientist Beck over the phone, “so I called you. And you better fix this, Ross, I swear to God—you told me this plan was soundproof. I don’t think being handcuffed to a hospital bed with my dick sliced in half is f*cking soundproof!

He did. He’d said those exact words, truly. Quentin, he’d said, you’ve got nothing to worry about. Stark and his kid aren’t going anywhere—this plan is soundproof. “Just stay put,” he grunts, “and for f*ck’s sake, stop talking to Avengers! Keep your mouth shut! Loose lips, Quentin!”

They came to me! ” snarls the man. “Ross, if I’m not out of these goddamn cuffs by the time—”

“Alright, alright, keep your panties on, Quentin” —the other man makes a furious noise of protest— “I’m handling it.”

“Ross—”

“I said, I’m handling it!

He slams the phone down on its receiver.

This is a broiling hot mess.

Project Manticore was supposed to be quiet—a little project, off the books, that would get Ross the power and fame that he wanted through rerouted government funding. He was supposed to get an ultra-powerful weapon ghost-designed by Stark, control of the most powerful billionaire in the world, and the respect of the entire United States military.

After it was over, he was gonna kill the boy, stage an accident for Stark, and pay the rest of the addicts to keep quiet—they’d all have been dead within a few years anyway. Ross would’ve gotten what he wanted, easily.

Instead, he’s got a design for a mostly-okay automatic gun, four living witnesses, a dead police officer, and all of his Project Manticore team in prison or dead. If this goes south, he could end up fired. Or in jail.

Unless he can ensure these morons keep their mouths shut.

His reputation’s on the line here—and he’ll do anything to protect his reputation.

He makes a few more phone calls—one to his connections at Oscorp, a multinational law firm based in the city—and another to the jail holding most of the junkie idiots in Project Manticore. There were thirteen of them caught at the bunker: eight of the original addicts he paid, Quentin Beck, and four of the soldiers he sent as reinforcements. The rest were dead—a couple from inter-group violence, but most from overdoses. Not that a couple dope-lovers choking on vomit is his problem. He could care less about their deaths—it’s the mess that he cares about.

So he sends a few lawyers their way, lubes up his alibis, sends his hot new secretary for a couple espressos, and picks up the phone again.

God, there is not a single day on this earth that Tony Stark is not a pain in his ass.

FRIDAY, AUGUST 24 — 6:14 AM

Clint learns very quickly that the little Lang girl hates needles.

Hate is too calm a word—Cassie Lang has a conditioned fear response to needles. She can recognize the sound of a syringe filling with liquid, the noise it makes when the rubber cap comes off, everything.

She’s so terrified that when the nurse comes at her with an injection—a mild analgesic, for her pain—she thrashes her entire body, scratching and biting like a wild animal.

“When are her parents coming?” asks the doctor, a pediatrician named Dr. Colt, as his nurse clamps a hand around a bite-mark on his arm and hurries out of the room. The little girl hides in the corner of the room, tucking herself beneath behind the hospital bed and huddling there, shivering.

“Soon,” says Clint, taking a glance at his phone for another call. He contacted the Paxtons hours ago, so they’re probably on a plane or somewhere in serviceless mountains. “They’re coming, I swear.”

Dr. Colt looks conflicted. “Look, Mr—Barton—Hawkeye—sir, if she injures another one of my staff, we’re just going to sedate her—”

From the corner, Cassie starts bawling, crying so hard that her neck lurches forward.

“No,” says Clint stiffly. “Don’t you think she’s been through enough?”

The dark-haired doctor tries a couple more times—even encouraging Clint to pin her down in order to get the injection in her, but he won’t. He can’t imagine how many times those bastards probably pinned her down; he refuses to do it to her, too. Clint understands that he’s just trying to help, but still.

She hasn’t just been throwing tantrums; Cassie’s so wholly terrified that she’ll start screaming—high-pitched and horror-tinged—before sobbing out apologies for imagined wrongs, interactions that haven’t occurred, and names of people Clint has never heard of—interspersed the entire time with shrieks for Peter Parker. The one time that the doctor got close enough to insert the syringe into Cassie’s skinny arm, she went horrifically quiet and wet herself so suddenly that the doctor backed away before she started crying again.

There’s a difference between anxiety and terror—Cassie Lang is experiencing the latter.

She’s been crying so much that her face is swollen. Every word she speaks, every movement she makes—it’s all drenched in petrified confusion, especially once she realized that her father wasn’t at the hospital. Clint can barely get near her without her screaming like he just stabbed her.

They manage, eventually, to tempt her with food and drink: a granola bar and a bottle of soda from the vending machine. This gets her to stop crying; suddenly dumbfounded, she stares at the food until they back away from it, which is when she dives for it, snatches it up, and throws herself back into the corner before devouring each.

Dr. Colt, finally, offers her a liquid sedative—an orange-flavored syrup in a paper cup—and she takes that, too, gulping it down in a couple seconds. When that dose doesn’t seem to calm her, they give her another, and another, until finally she stills, her fear mutating into slow rocking. She clutches the plastic granola-bar wrapper and whispers for Peter.

They manage to get an IV in her this time, and the nurse doses her with another wave of sedatives through it, and at last she stops moving enough that they can get a good look at her injuries, particularly her crushed hand. The worrying thing is that her fear tears through the sedative like a hot knife. Although her body and mind are slow, her fear is still very much present, her eyes bugged wide and focused on the IV in her arm. “You’re okay,” assures Clint, and the little girl holds his arm with loose, sedated fingers. “It doesn’t hurt anymore, right?”

She nods, utter confusion written all over her face. Cassie eventually calms a little bit and tucks herself in the corner of the hospital bed, burying herself in sheets and taking deep, shaking breaths.

“We have ways to help children in hospital settings,” says Dr. Colt, “but never like this. This is New Hampshire, Mr. Barton. We don’t deal with a lot of cases…like this.”

Like what? “Kidnapping?”

The doctor shakes his head. “Torture,” he says.

Clint supposes that’s exactly what this is. Torture. No one looks like Cassie who hasn’t experienced torture. Whatever she’d witnessed in there, Clint could hardly imagine.

FRIDAY, AUGUST 24 — 7:01 AM

Tony watches Peter sleep.

The kid finally fell asleep around seven. His sleep is fitful and feverish as the drugs drain from his system.

And he watches. Tony floats between sleep and waking himself—this is the first time in months that he’s spent more than an hour without his sleep-supplement pills, and it’s drawing this smooth, languid sleepiness from him that he hasn’t felt in forever.

Pepper falls asleep in the chair beside him. How could she have been… She's pregnant. She’s been pregnant this whole time. She’s gotta be, what, six, seven months along?

He watches Peter—this boy who, five months ago, would’ve come bounding through the lab with a new idea at his heels and a stupid grin on his face. Guess what, Mr. Stark? he’d always say. God, what he’d do to hear Peter say that again now.

The kid doesn’t wake for a while; nurses flit in and out of the room, exchanging medications and rewrapping bandages. He stirs occasionally, his face twitching, but generally stays unconscious. When the kid finally wakes, Tony watches those brown eyes blink open, bleary and pained, and he squeezes the kid’s arm. “Peter?” he says.

The monitor starts beeping rapidly.

“Peter, hey, buddy, hey…” He tries to get his attention, but the only sign of life is his eyes—open into giant white bulbs of terror, like a pair of flickering lightbulbs, and he scans the room, scans and scans, and there’s no sign that he knows where they are at all. It’s only a moment before he’s moving, his body twisting on top of hospital sheets. He gets one hand up and onto his mouth, and he grabs at his oxygen mask and pulls —the elastic ties snap. “Peter!” His hand flops over the bedrest, limp; the kid’s on so many drugs, hospital and bunker alike, that he can barely hold himself up.

Yet still he tries.

Peter shifts his head and tries to lift it, simultaneously finding the IV in his hand. “Leave it, Peter, that’s helping you…” Sluggish hands find the tube and try to get ahold of it, and Tony pushes his hands away—

It’s the touch that does it. The beeping suddenly intensifies, high-pitched and loud, his heart-rate going wild while his eyes squeeze shut. “Somebody! Hey, I need some help in here!”

In seconds, nurses swarm the kid, pinning him down and dosing him with more sedatives; in only minutes, the kid’s prone body slackens, and he’s asleep again.

This happens two more times.

On the third time, Tony wakes to Peter’s monitor going buck-wild; the beeping erratic and high-pitched. Peter makes noise as he wakes, raspy sounds escaping his bruised throat. As Tony touches his face, trying to calm him down, his whole body goes fraught with tension, suddenly iron-stiff on the bed. He goes so still that his chest doesn’t move, and Tony can tell from the monitors: the kid’s holding his breath.

“Peter,” he tries, and the kid’s eyes are open now, pupils like two black currants, beads of dark swimming in wide-open sclera. “Peter, breathe.

Tony touches his wrist.

It happens fast—the kid goes straight to panic, air sucking into him in great gulps, and he throws his drugged body over the side of the bed, slipping over before Tony can catch him; he hits the ground hard with a thunk so loud that Pepper startles awake. “Peter!”

Tony limps to the other side of the bed, finding his kid laying crooked on the ground, curling in on himself; as soon as Tony gets too close, he grasps one of the bed-legs and pulls himself underneath with a pained groan. “Pepper, go get someone, please—Peter, listen to me, you’re safe. We got you out, buddy, we got you out.”

He makes a grab for Peter’s leg—maybe he can pull him out from under there—and the kid makes a whimpery sound so utterly raw that Tony immediately lets go, falling backwards onto his tailbone.

Then nurses flood in, dragging a crying Peter out from under the bed and pinning him down on the bed as he thrashes, sticking him with another dose of sedative. And within minutes, he’s asleep again.

After that, he doesn’t awake for a while.

FRIDAY, AUGUST 24 — 8:06

Happy comes back eventually with a couple styrofoam cups of hospital coffee and hands one off to him. All three of them sit together with the kid, listening to his monitors beep and hiss.

“I failed him,” says Tony softly, his voice like a puff of air. “I failed him.”

“We all failed him,” says Happy, voice wretched. “And I thought he was at an internship.”

It sounds so stupid now.

Internship, summer camp, moved away.

They all sound so childish, so naive.

“They hurt him every day,” says Tony. His hands tremble badly, enough that the brown liquid in his cup ripples. “Every day I'd work until I passed out, and it still wasn’t good enough. Every single day, Pep.” He looks haunted. “I…I had to watch as they hurt my kid in whatever way they could. Whatever they thought of. Burned him, cut him, beat him, f*cking waterboarded him…”

Pepper presses her hand to her mouth.

“It didn’t take long for them to break him,” he says. “He stopped talking back…a few days in. Stopped being Peter. Just begged me to help him. He stopped trying to escape a couple months in. I knew ‘cause they’d—they’d punish him in front of me every time he tried. Take the hammer to him or… Or electrocute him or… Whatever they could come up with.” His gaze looks broken; he swallows, his Adam’s apple shifting below his grayed beard. She’s never seen it that long, that unkempt. “And I tried. I really tried, Pepper. but it was never good enough.” Tony turns that empty gaze on her. “I've never tried so hard before, Pepper. I put everything I had in that f*cking thing… And still I couldn’t do it.”

Excusing himself from Peter’s bedside, Happy calls SHIELD next. Coulson picks up the phone a couple rings in. “Hogan,” the director says. “How are you?”

“I didn’t call for your first-class small talk, Coulson. You remember Peter Parker?”

The man chuckles lightly. “Am I supposed to?”

“Look in your goddamn database, Coulson—I’m not kidding around.”

On the other line, buzzing silence. Good. Coulson’s Some typing, and some affirmative beeps. “Spider-man?”

“That’s him.”

“Went off the grid months ago…” More typing. “Hogan, what is this about?”

Happy explains as best he can. Steve Rogers went to find some police officer’s brother in an old HYDRA bunker. They found Ant-Man’s kid and Spider-Man there instead. Now Ant-Man’s dead, his daughter’s inconsolable, and Spider-Man— Peter —has sustained so much damage that the doctors who treat him are fainting in hallways.

“No,” asserts Coulson. “We cleared those HYDRA bunkers—there’s no neo-HYDRA groups left in the entire country, Hogan.”

“Wee…” Happy rubs the back of his neck. “We don’t think it was HYDRA.”

“What?”

“The guys we found in there… The ones running the place? They were all normal. No enhancements, no mutations, nothing. They were just…addicts.”

“Look,” says Coulson on the other line. It sounds like he’s pacing. “This sounds like a pretty…devastating situation, but unfortunately, it’s not my problem. SHIELD doesn’t deal with doesn’t deal with personal crimes.”

“But it’s Peter —”

“I get it,” says the director. “You care about the kid. And I’m sorry about what happened to him. It sounds…difficult. But whoever kidnapped him doesn’t seem like a threat to national security—therefore, not my problem.” Silence on the other line. “I’m sorry.”

Happy supposes now that Charles Keene, Quentin Beck, and the rest of the people who terrorized Peter Parker can’t be taken care of that easily. Not by SHIELD, at least. They’re in the hands of the law now.

FRIDAY, AUGUST 24 — 8:29 AM

At last, after two wait-listed flights and three speeding tickets, Maggie and Jim Paxton arrive at a New Hampshire hospital out of breath and frantic.

They’d gotten on the nearest flight without a second thought—no luggage, not a thing in their pockets but their wallets.

Both Maggie and Jim are still dressed in their pajamas—flannel pants, cotton shirts, and crazy hair. “There’s a girl here,” gasps Jim, still out of breath from sprinting through sections of the hospital. Sweat-stains spread under both his arms and down his chest. “Cassie—Cassandra Marie—Paxton-Lang.”

Maggie unfurls a wrinkled missing poster of her daughter and waves it in front of the woman at the front desk. “Have you seen her? Have you?”

“We got a call from the local police station—they said they had our daughter—”

Unbearably calm, the woman picks up the phone and dials, muttering something about ‘Barton’ and ‘patient’ followed by unintelligible medical jargon. Within seconds, there’s a pair of scrub-clothed nurses ushering them down a hallway, around a corner, up five floors on the elevator, and down another hallway, until they reach a closed door.

“Mr. and Mrs. Paxton,” says one of the nurses, one with scruffy brown hair, “I should warn you, your daughter… She’s been through a lot. She’s been pretty skittish since she arrived; we had to give her a couple rounds of sedation to calm her down. Just…go slow, okay?”

She opens the door, and inside is her little girl.

Maggie has imagined this moment millions of times. Her little Cassie sitting in a police station with a blanket over her shoulders as Maggie holds her. Cassie sleeping in a hospital bed as Maggie kisses her forehead. Her girl spotting her from the back of an ambulance and running to her arms with a squeal.

She didn’t expect…nothing.

Cassie is sitting cross-legged on the bed, an IV fed into one arm, hugging her arms around herself. She’s covered in dirt and old bloodstains, and her head’s shaved raggedly over her white skull, and she’s staring at them.

There’s a man beside her in the chair, talking quietly with her as she stares emptily at the couple. In the corner, a doctor taps on a tablet and checks on her IV bag. She doesn’t even move, she just trembles a little and hugs her knees with one arm; the other is trapped in a dirty cast and bound in a medical sling. And still, she stares, like this isn’t the first time she’s seen her family in nearly twenty weeks. Her chest is going up and down, and she’s breathing in small, shallow gasps, like she’s scared.

Oh, god, she’s scared.

This becomes doubly real, the pure fear on her daughter’s face wringing Maggie’s heart dry. Go slow, she remembers, although Maggie’s hardly keeping herself from lunging at the bed with open arms. “Cassie,” she whispers, and she’s already crying. “Oh, my Cassie…”

Her girl just seems rattled as Maggie approaches her, eyes scanning her face. “Mommy?” she says, in a voice so quiet it’s barely comprehensible. Then she goes back to breathing hard, in more teary little gasps, glancing from the man beside her to Maggie and ducking both their eyelines.

“Yes, baby, it’s me…” She comes to the bed, aching to hold her daughter, drinking in every bit of her—god, they hurt her. Fading yellow bruises are visible at the edge of her hairline. She’s got scars lining one arm; the other one is in that sling. “Oh, baby, who hurt you?” She outstretches her hand to Cassie, and this time she doesn’t flinch. She touches her calf, and then her shoulder, and then envelopes her long-lost daughter in a gentle hug. “Oh, Cassie…”

Her girl’s crying then, dipping her head into Maggie’s shoulder. “Mommy,” she whispers.

It’s not long before Maggie’s got her calm enough that Cassie’s breathing normally, tucked into her mother’s arms, and falling almost immediately asleep on her shoulder. “She’s been fighting the sedative all night,” says Dr. Colt, a man with black curly hair, as Jim kisses Cassie’s head. “I can’t believe you managed that so quickly.”

Beside her, Jim finally addresses the man in the chair—one who’s dressed in a flannel and jeans—and sizing him up. “Alright—who the hell are you?” he says, stabbing his finger into the other man’s chest.

A finger doesn’t seem to faze the man. He smiles, but it doesn’t reach his eyes—it comes off more like a tired grimace. “I'm Hawkeye,” he says. “Clint Barton? I’m the one who found her. Brought her here.”

“Hawkeye,” echoes Jim, taking a step back; his sudden aggression diminishes a little. “Oh. Thank you. Thank you.”

Barton shakes his head. “I'm just glad she’s okay. I got three kids of my own—can’t imagine if this happened to them.” He shakes Jim's hand. “If you need anything, just call.”

With Cassie comfortable and asleep in her mother’s arms, the doctors are finally able to give her a full workup. The only obvious injuries are her feet from all that running, her shattered hand, and her wrecked scalp. They get a couple scans while she’s sleeping—x-ray and a couple others.

Her little girl’s so thin, like a pencil, and it’s all Maggie can do not to order takeout and feed her until her belly is full. “Yeah,” says one of the nurses, when she mentions it. “She lost about thirty percent of her body weight. She’s gonna need some time to get back to her original weight.” She explains that they’re feeding her through the IV, but they have to be careful not to flood her body with too much nutrients. “Slow and steady. Recovery doesn’t happen overnight.”

Eventually, they get her settled back in the hospital bed—but she starts to wake after a bit, so Maggie lies in the bed with Cassie and holds her so that she’ll go back to sleep. She’s never leaving her girl again—she’s never letting Cassie out of her sight again. She has her back—has her safe—which is a miracle in and of itself. Maggie’s gonna take her home and… Give her anything she could ever want. Toys. Food. Late-night cuddles. Whatever she needs, it’s hers.

“Your daughter had the most advanced case of lice infestation I’d ever seen,” says the doctor, as one of the nurses listens to her lungs. “It seems like someone took a dull blade, some kind of edge, maybe, and sawed her hair off to try to get rid of the lice. But” —he points to some shallow lacerations on her head— “it left her with some cuts on her head that the lice infected. That’s why she’s got a bit of a fever. Unusual case, but treatable. So we’re going to remove the rest of her hair, treat her scalp, and manually remove any lice from the cuts on her head.”

The procedure is quick, performed by an olive-skinned nurse who hums softly to Cassie the entire time.

“I’m a little worried about her lungs, too—she’s got a moderate respiratory infection, but we’ll see over the next couple days if she responds well to medication.” The doctor smiles at Cassie, waves his hand slowly. “Hey, Cassie—can you tell me real quick how much your chest hurts, one to ten?”

Cassie looks, a little fearful, up at Maggie, and she squeezes her daughter’s uninjured hand. “It’s not—” She cuts herself off, eyes watery, and grasps her mother’s hand tightly. “It doesn’t count.”

Something cold worms its way into Maggie Paxton’s chest. It doesn’t count.“What?” Her daughter is quiet then, shoving her face into Maggie’s chest to hide from the prying eyes. “Baby, what do you mean?”

Cassie just shakes her head. “Where’s Peter?”

“Who?”

More head shaking.

“Cassie.” She’d ask Barton, but he’s gone, visiting someone else in the hospital—an Avenger who was injured, maybe. Maybe ‘Peter’ was one of her captors. “Did Peter… Did Peter hurt you?”

Her confusion is palpable. Cassie presses her bandaged scalp into Maggie’s chest and sobs quietly into her shirt, dampening the fabric, as though trying to bury herself within her.

FRIDAY, AUGUST 24 — 11:52 AM

Peter dreams.

He dreams so vividly and viciously that he can’t tell what’s up and what’s down, if he’s taking seawater or oxygen into his lungs.

He dreams of hands—of a knuckled pressure in his throat, of a red-blooded panic liquifying him.

He dreams of Skip. Of Beck. Of Charlie.

He dreams of Dr. Skivorski, of antiseptic-smelling fabric and a warm touch on aching skin. Of Cassie, with her scraggly, half-shaved head.

Peter dreams of Tony, of a shaggy beard and sad eyes. Of Pepper, with a swollen belly and longer hair.

He's trapped in sleep, a cell of shallow breaths and paralyzed limbs, and he finds himself screaming into the void, hurtling through oily blackness.

Is he still dreaming?

He finds himself taking breaths of bitter, artificial air; he drowns in it, choking, suffocating, and there’s hands on him. Swathes of voices, thick and loud. Fingers and thumbs and he doesn’t want it! He doesn’t want it, Beck, please, please, not in front of Cassie, please he can’t take it anymore— he can’t take it anymore— please, please, please—

He thinks of Cassie, of her hollow cheeks and sallow skin.

He thinks of Mr. Stark.

Tony.

Tony.

Tony.

Darkness chews, chews again, and swallows him whole.

FRIDAY, AUGUST 24 — 1:16 PM

They find move Steve to a new room for the rape kit.

They call it something different—something with a nice, professional name—but he’s not a stupid man. He knows what’s happening. Bucky comes with him, and he holds his hand as he sits.

Steve knows he should do this. Any evidence that the brown-haired man left on him— Beck, Nat told him—could be used to press charges against him. Especially if they don’t find anything on Peter… It’ll help any potential case.

But still he feels his skin crawl as he thinks about it.

The physician who enters is not a doctor, but a registered nurse, so she introduces herself as Isabel, a youngish woman with dirty blonde hair and brown eyes. “Hey, there,” she says. “Steve, right?”

This woman saying his name, first and last, out loud is suddenly jarring; what the hell is he doing sitting on this paper-lined cot, waiting for her to ask about an offense he willingly committed? “Yeah,” he says instead.

They ask him questions first.

Specifics, too. About anything that could’ve possibly happened, and Steve, tiredly, tells the truth.

They ask him about anal sex and he says no so aggressively that the nurse startles. “He didn’t do that,” he said. “He didn’t, uh, rape me.” Steve has such infuriating difficulty saying the word out loud; he mentally kicks himself. “I just… I just gave him a blowj*b.”

The woman stills; she’s holding her clipboard with nail-bitten fingers. “Sir,” Isabel says softly, sounding a bit like an old television commercial, the static-voiced ones that he can fall asleep to. “In this state, rape is anything involving sexual penetration without consent. That includes oral sex.”

Why is she not understanding this? “No—no, listen. The oral” —he finds himself swallowing, his Adam’s apple bobbing— “um, sex wasn’t like that. It was just…the touching…that wasn’t…consensual.”

Bucky’s grip suddenly tightens around his hand. “Stevie,” he says, “None of that was consensual.”

He shakes his head. “No—I offered. I knew what I was doing. He didn’t even look at me before then.”

Bucky's mouth twists. “Steve, I’m not a lawyer, but… This man drugged you enough to kill five people, beat you, threatened your life, shot you twice, and kept you locked in a cell. None of those things imply consent. None of them.”

Technically, the door wasn’t locked when the brown-haired man— Beck —was inside. He just couldn’t…leave. That would’ve gotten him shot in the back.

Steve thinks suddenly of the cold metal muzzle of the gun against his back, and he finds air tangled in his chest.

Across from Bucky, the examiner nods a little. “Consent under duress isn’t consent, Mr. Rogers.”

“I told him yes,” he explains, because clearly they don’t understand. “I begged him to—“

“—instead of Peter, right?” finishes Bucky, his eyes tracing Steve’s bruised-purple face. “Stevie, that’s not consent. That’s a trade. That’s coercion, baby.”

He swallows. Oh, Steve thinks. “Still. Kinda hard to make Captain America do something he doesn’t wanna do.”

They go over a few more questions about the details of what happened. When they’re done, Isabel explains what she’s there to do—and then she asks, first and foremost, if he wants Bucky to leave the room for the physical exam. “Some people are more comfortable with a loved one present,” she says, “but some would rather be alone. It’s okay either way.”

Steve ducks his head, feeling a stone in his throat grow; Bucky squeezes his hand lightly. “I can go, Stevie,” he says, brushing his thumb over his knuckles. “I don’t mind.”

He doesn’t want Bucky to watch him do this. To willingly confess, to give physical evidence of what he did… He can’t bring himself to say it out loud: I don’t want you to see this. He just swallows and looks away, staring down at the linoleum floor-tiles.

Bucky seems to catch his meaning. “It’s alright,” he says, letting go of Steve’s hand and pulling on his jacket. “I’ll go get a cup of coffee. You want something?” Steve shakes his head. “Okay.” Bucky touches Steve’s wrist once, letting his fingers linger there before finally getting up, shoving his hands in his pockets, and swiftly exiting.

Then, at last, he’s alone with the woman— Isabel —and her assistant.

She has Steve change into a hospital gown, and she and her assistant pack his clothes—of which he only has his sweatpants and boxers—into ziplock bags.

They do photographs first. The easy ones come first: the wounds on his head, the gunshot wounds in his shoulder, the boot-shaped bruise in his back. Little nail-lines on the back of his neck.

He tries not to think about it.

“Hey, Steve,” says Isabel gently. “We doing okay so far?”

He nods and blinks at the ceiling.

“Remember we can stop at any time, okay? We can skip steps or take breaks or do whatever you want. This is all your choice.”

He doesn’t want to stop this; he wants to get it over with.

They move on to the hard part; she asks him to disrobe, and he does, shucking the hospital gown and feeling entirely like a stuck pig. They do photos from there, and there are more scratches on him, ones he doesn’t remember getting. Then they move onto the more physical part: swabbing for evidence. They do his mouth first, which isn’t hard at all, and then…

Steve can feel, suddenly, the brown-haired man’s fingernails on his skin, and he hears the man’s voice like an echo haunting his skull: Beg for it. Beg for it. All of a sudden he’s jerking away from the woman’s gloved hands and sitting up, hospital fabric twisted over him, and he holds it to his chest like he’s not naked everywhere else.

He can’t breathe.

There’s fabric over him: white hospital cloth. A blanket, maybe. He draws it over himself so tightly and so suddenly that it rips cleanly down the center, to which the woman just drapes another one over him. She’s talking to him, Steve realizes, asking him questions. She must’ve stopped the exam. Evidence collection. Whatever she was doing.

“Can you…” he manages, gathering himself, his mind swarmed by sudden shame. “Can you get Bucky?”

Isabel nods and leaves shortly.

Steve’s not alone for long; Bucky’s there in mere seconds, smelling slightly of coffee and hair dye. He sits next to him on the floor, adjusting the blanket around Steve, and his closeness eases the venomous viper coiled in Steve’s chest. “I’m sorry,” he chokes out, hunched over with the hospital blanket clutched around him; he feels stupid, like a little kid who refuses to get in the bathtub. “I’m so sorry I… I cheated on you…”

“You didn’t,” says the other man, voice gruff and insistent, one arm around his shoulders. Steve feels small again—like before the war, when they used to sleep in each other’s beds. “You didn’t. You didn’t. You protected that kid. I’m proud of you, Stevie. Really f*cking proud.”

Steve cries, nodding, and, for once, he doesn’t fight him on it. It’s not usually this way around: Steve asking Bucky for comfort instead of the other way around. He tips his head onto Bucky’s shoulder and lets out this tired, tired sob.

And when he’s finally ready, they do the rest.

“Don’t look, Buck,” whispers Steve, flat on his back on the exam table. Even though Bucky’s seen him naked a thousand times before, somehow this time feels different.

“I won’t,” he says, and then he’s got his eyes closed, both hands still clasped around Steve’s. “Promise.”

FRIDAY, AUGUST 24 — 4:48 PM

Cassie wants Peter.

Mommy’s talking to the man from the cabin; they’re whispering about Daddy, but Cassie isn’t listening. She’s much too frightened to listen.

She remembers places like this. She remembers that these are called hospitals, and she remembers that the people in white coats are called doctors. Cassie remembers that she used to come to places like this every year, go into a colorful room and sit on the table. Mommy called them… Oh. She can’t remember what they’re called. She would come and sit on the paper-lined table and get shots.

Shots.

Cassie starts to tremble at the thought of a needle, and Mommy hugs her tight. Right. Mommy’s here. She’s here, and she promised Cassie that no one was going to take her away again.

But Cassie’s not sure.

There’s only one person she can trust in the whole entire world, and that’s Peter. Peter tells her what’s going to hurt and what doesn’t. He tells her when to hide under the bed and when not to. He tells her when Charlie’s coming and when Beck’s visiting. He tells her when to talk and when to be quiet.

Peter keeps her safe.

But he’s not here.

“Mommy?” she whispers, because she’s not sure where Charlie and the others are.

Mommy’s face is wet and shiny, like Peter’s when he comes back from his time outside. “Yes, baby?” she says, in her sad-crackly voice.

She drops her voice really, really low. She knows she can’t be loud, and she doesn’t want Charlie to come in and hurt her for making too much noise. “Where’s Peter?”

Mommy blinks at her, sniffling. “Who’s Peter?”

Cassie doesn’t say anything. She feels like saying his name out loud might make Charlie come running, and she can’t… She can’t… She remembers how Charlie grabbed the police lady, fisting his hammer, and slammed it into her face like he was playing whack-a-mole. He could do that to her for running away. He always punishes them for doing something bad.

Maybe that's where Peter is—maybe Charlie got him. Maybe Charlie is punishing him for running away, and she's next.

Shaking again, she hugs her mommy tightly and pretends she’s Peter.

FRIDAY, AUGUST 24 — 9:43 PM

Peter’s sitting up.

Pepper’s gone to fill out more forms, so Tony’s the only one in the hospital room when the kid wakes.

He’s not terrified or thrashing this time, which Tony counts as a win, but he’s acting strange. He seems confused, blinking lethargically, as though seeing the world through a thick fog. Delirious, he sways, his eyes grazing the room and entirely passing over Tony.

“Peter?” he whispers.

The kid’s head sways from side to side; Tony has the unbearable urge to throw his arms behind Peter in case he falls too hard, but he’s afraid that any movement will set him off to another round of panicked flailing.

What’s happening?

“Peter,” he tries again. “You with me?”

His eyes are glassy and empty; his gaze drifts over the room like a raft on open water. His head kind of tilts back, dipping like a bowling ball on his spine, and he forces it upright, scanning the room once more. This time, his gaze hits Tony.

And it stays.

He just keeps staring at him. And staring. And staring.

Tony’s never cherished eye contact so much in his life. “Hey, buddy… It’s me. It’s” —his voice cracks, and he can feel tears well behind his eyes— “Mr. Stark. You hear me?”

Peter’s eyelids drift closed, his head sloping to the left, and then the kid’s eyes gaze tiredly at him. God, this isn’t the Peter he knew. He’s… He’s… He’s not pulling away, but there’s only a scrap of recognition in those brown eyes. For the first time, he’s recognizing at least some sense of safety. “You’re doing so good, Peter. So good. You’re gonna pull through. You’re strong, okay? You’re the strongest kid I know.”

The kid blinks, his lashes dull and slow, breathing in strange huffs through his chapped lips. His fingers twitch at his side, and drift upwards to touch his stomach, his fingers splayed loosely over his abdomen.

He must be in pain. “Does something hurt, buddy?” Tony’s heart hammers, a set of crash cymbals in his ribcage. Recognize me, he wants to beg. I’m right here, Peter, I’m finally here. Recognize me, buddy.

Peter stares at him, his bloodshot eyes becoming suddenly intent with partial lucidity, his brow tightening and relaxing, tightening and relaxing. He nods, slowly, sluggishly, like he’s not sure what he’s saying, like he’s afraid of the motion itself.

He’s communicating. He’s communicating.

Tony can’t help the tears that come. “Oh, buddy… We can get you more—more pain meds, whatever you need…”

Peter’s eyes don’t leave him. One arm tightens around his abdomen, and then the monitors start going off, insane beeping filling the small hospital room. Tony breaks the kid’s gaze to read his monitor; his blood pressure—it’s dropped to almost nothing.

Yet Peter’s sitting still like nothing’s happened. All the while, his eyes are trained on Tony’s. He’s still nodding, his pale chin dipping. “Peter?” he asks again. “You with me, kid?” His eyes flutter closed again—for a moment, the whites of his eyes are the only part visible.

And then Peter drops like a stone; at the same time, his monitors burst into a symphony of troubling alarms.

An alert goes over the PA system: CODE BLUE IN ROOM 188. ALL AVAILABLE PERSONNEL. CODE BLUE IN ROOM 188. ALL AVAILABLE PERSONNEL.

Tony fumbles for a pulse at the kid’s neck, the bruises there now near-black. “Peter! Come on, Peter, come on…”

Nurses and doctors are there with a cart before he can even find a heartbeat, pulling him bodily from the hospital bed and pushing him out the door. He can hear them working on him: “He’s in cardiac arrest—charge to two hundred!”

Another voice: “ Clear!”

A jolt, like the bed shaking, and then again: “Charge to three hundred!”

Clear!”

They take Peter to the ICU afterwards.

Peter’s doctor—that nice woman, Dr. Jackson—takes them to a conference room while Peter recovers. “What happened to him?” asks Pepper. “I thought he was stable.”

The doctor folds her hands on top of each other, clearing her throat. “Peter went into cardiac arrest as a result of a condition called refeeding syndrome—it’s a life-threatening condition that develops when someone who is severely malnourished receives healthy amounts of nutrition for the first time.”

“I don’t understand,” says Pepper. “I thought we wanted to feed him.”

“Yes and no,” says the doctor. “You see, when someone is malnourished, especially over a long period of time, their body makes up for its missing nutrients—overcompensates—in order to keep them alive. So his body adapted to the low nutrition and made up for any lacking nutrients on its own. Which means that when we gave him near-normal amounts of nutrition to strengthen him, his body became overwhelmed, and now his electrolyte levels became way higher than normal—dangerously high. Levels like that” —she gestures vaguely in the direction of Peter’s room— “can lead to problems with the brain, kidney, heart… And led to his cardiac arrest.”

Brain. “That’s why he was acting like that?”

Tony had described it to her—his focused gaze, his confused nodding, his unresponsiveness.

Dr. Jackson nods. “Confusion is a common side effect. So we’re gonna take it a little slower, monitor his electrolytes carefully as he gets better.”

“And what about the leg?” asks Pepper. “You’re not…doing anything about that?”

“Not yet,” she says, pulling up an X-ray of the kid’s brutalized leg. “For now, we’re just gonna keep the limb stable. There’s no viable way to recover that knee into a viable joint. We can replace the knee with an artificial joint—an arthroplasty and try to recover the tibia with something solid to connect it to. Not now, but… When he’s healthy enough. Unless it causes any problems, we should be fine. And for now, he just needs rest and care.”

“And psychologically?” offers Pepper. “When do you think he’ll, you know…”

“...wake up?” finishes Dr. Jackson. “I’m not trained in psychiatry, Ms. Potts. Just give him time. Let’s let his mind and his body relax. There’s no time limit on rest.”

They’re not allowed in the ICU this late in the day.

So Pepper and Tony end up in the waiting area with the rest of the Avengers. Happy’s on the phone, pacing back and forth, and Clint and Natasha are talking in hushed tones by the sliding doors. Steve and Bucky are sitting side by side in waiting-room chairs, fingers interlaced, Steve’s head resting.

Pepper didn’t realize they were that…close. It makes sense, now that she’s thinking about it. How Steve became a war criminal just to protect Bucky from prison. How insistent Bucky was that Steve didn’t enter the bunkers. How physically affectionate they were with each other. It’s a bit of a surprise, but nothing compared to the rest of the day, so she nods politely in their direction.

Pepper and Tony settle near the rest of their friends—friends? Is that what they all are?—exhausted and filled with a similar sense of shell-shocked narcosis.

“Thought he’d been admitted,” says Pepper to Bucky. The man still has remnants of blank dye all over his face. “Did he get discharged already?”

Steve doesn’t lift his head from Bucky’s shoulder; he might be asleep. “Yeah,” says Bucky for him, “super-healing kicked in, so he’s free to go. He just wanted to stay to check on Peter.” He nudges the blonde, who stirs, blinking wearily. Butterfly stitches line the supersoldier’s face, and a thin line of sutures stretch from his eyebrow, down his nose, to the edge of his cheekbone. He’s shirtless, his shoulder wrapped in white strips that extend across his chest, and his arm is in a sling, probably to keep his shoulder stable. His opposite thumb is trapped in a brace that extends down his wrist. The bruising on his face is the worst part—purple and black and green, quickly morphing in color via his super-healing. Steve rasps, “Peter woken up yet?”

A close-mouthed grimace from Pepper; Tony remains quiet. “Yeah.”

“Was he…” the man starts.

Pepper shakes her head. “He was…anxious when he woke up.”

“Anxious?” repeats Tony, suddenly looking unhinged. “ Anxious? He threw himself off the bed, Pepper. He’s terrified.” Pepper presses her mouth into a line.

Steve looks impossibly tired. “He was like that in there, too,” he says.

“He hasn’t even spoken,” adds Tony, pulling sharply at his hair. “He… He…”

Pepper places a hand on his back, which seems to calm him.

“It’s probably a lot for him,” says Rhodey, stepping forth and joining the conversation. “He spent months in that place—learning how to survive in there, learning that no one was coming for him. And all of a sudden he’s faced with an entirely new environment… A change that big would be a lot for anyone, let alone someone who has endured as much as Peter has.”

“He was better when I met him,” adds Steve quietly. “I mean, he wasn’t picture-perfect, but he was lucid, at least. He was in a sh*t-ton of pain and acting wild, but he was…aware of his surroundings. He barely talked, and if it did it was mostly to tell me to f*ck off, but at least he was coherent. But then…”

“Then what?”

Steve winces. “We… We tried to escape. Me and the police officer—we broke him and the little girl out, and there was this other guy, too. A doctor. Trapped in there with the kids. We made a run for it—some guy killed the officer, he” —he gestures vaguely, with a sour expression— “smashed her head open with a hammer, but it gave us time to escape. And we…” He shakes his head. “We split up, me and the doctor, each took a kid with us. I took the girl, he took Peter—this guy was the only one Peter could trust, honestly. We thought our odds would be better that way.” A pained sigh. “And when we got back, Peter and me…” His jaw tenses. “He was rocking, and not talking or responding to anything, not really. And there was blood all over him. Like, not his. And little… Little bits of, like, meat.”

“You think…” starts Pepper, feeling her mouth go dry.

Steve nods; his butterfly stitches strain. “I think someone killed the doctor in front of him.”

From beside him, Natasha nods with her arms folded. “We talked to the guy who was running the thing—Charles Keene? He said the same thing.”

“Which part?” asks Sam.

A look of distaste, like she’s just eaten something bitter. “That he shot the doctor while he was carrying Peter—and Peter held onto his corpse.”

“He was in shock,” says Rhodey, understanding. “No wonder he’s been so messed up. That’s enough to rattle anybody.”

The waiting room fills with silence. They’re lucky it’s late, and this hospital is generally empty, because this conversation is not for young ears.

“And how’s the girl?” Pepper asks Clint. “The one you found at the cabin?”

Clint shrugs, both hands in his pockets. His eyelids droop as though he's been up all night; maybe he has been. “Her parents came for her. Hospital’s keeping her overnight. She’ll survive, but… She’s pretty freaked.”

“She was in there for a while,” says Sam. He still has those red-tinted glasses on. Pepper thinks it might be to mask the upset in his gaze rather than protect his eyes.

The red-haired assassin stands across from him, and she nods. Natasha's hair is in braids now, dozens of them, like the kind middle-schoolers do at sleepovers. “As long as Peter,” she adds.

Steve shifts in his seat; he looks beaten, more so than any fight Pepper had ever seen him in. “I spent less than ten hours with those people,” says Steve, sounding more like a horror film star than the guy who records public service announcements for middle schoolers, “and I feel like they destroyed me.”

Everyone looks up; they’ve never heard Steve Rogers sound quite so grim.

He continues, in that same despondent tone, “Peter and the girl, they were in there for almost five months and they… They’re just kids.”

He was right. They were just kids.

And alone, they’d endured more than Pepper could ever dream of.

Notes:

i will need more random medical staff/emergency staff so again if you would like someone to be scooted in the background, plz just give me a character description like 'name + hair color + random physical trait' and i'll put them in, and remind me if i forget haha

also if there's anything u wanna see in this recovery part (which will be very long and very thorough) plz comment and lemme k, i love incorporating ur ideas, fanfic readers always come up with the best stuff

Chapter 23: haven't i given enough?

Summary:

“I don’t… I don’t know what to do, kid, I…” Tony's face is wet, and he wipes at it. “You’re strong, Spider-Kid. You’re so strong. Stronger than any kid should have to be.” That sob he swallowed comes gurgling back up, and when he tries to breathe he finds the sob there, strangling him.

Notes:

chapter title from 'gilded lily' by cults

YES I KNOW IT'S EARLY AND I KNOW THIS CHAPTER IS SHORT but i have like two finals to work on tmr and i have literally no time to worry about this, so apologies that it's short pls don't murder me. i figure this section is kinda important anyway, so just take it in. i also don't know if i'll be able to get another chap in next tuesday cuz i'm gonna be visiting family for thanksgiving buttttt i will try my absolute best.

this whole chap takes place over like an hour/two hours, so just keep that in mind.

CW: discussion of rape/rape kits, discussion of violence, medical situations, discussion of starvation, blink-and-you'll-miss-it suicidal thoughts

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

SATURDAY, AUGUST 25 — 8:21 AM

Tony wakes up to Pepper shaking him.

He hasn’t been sleeping well, waking every hour or so with a jerk. Those sleep-supplement pills are still kicking in. He's frazzled as he wakes, searching for his tools immediately, awaiting the familiar surroundings of his lab—formulas written on the walls, post-it notes covering his lab table.

Instead, he finds a massive all-white space filled with navy-blue chairs: a waiting room.

Pepper has to remind him several times where he is, and when he finally recognizes where he is, he slumps back into his chair.

Pepper's looking at him. Pregnant. Right. She’s pregnant. She's safe and pregnant and here with him. “You were talking in your sleep,” she says, a hand on his back. “Something about Peter.”

Tony’s hand is trembling, and he stops it by clamping over it with his other hand. He knows he talks in his sleep—Dum-E recorded it and offered to replay in case he’d spoken any miraculous chemical equations in his sleep. He rarely sleeps long enough to dream; but when he does, it’s always about Peter.

“Sorry,” he says.

“It’s okay,” she says, that crease in her brow taut.

The doctors say they want to check over Tony as well; apparently, one of the nurses noticed all of his twitching and grew worried. His check-up is quick. They quickly discover an unusually high blood pressure, as well as a high heart rate. “Have you experienced any stressors that might have…” starts the doctor, in that automatic medical tone, before she suddenly trails off, realizing her mistake. The woman clears her throat. “About the tremors—are you on any medications?”

Tony finds himself rubbing his trembling palms together. “Uh.” To the best of his ability, he explains the sleep-supplement pill he was taking, but he can’t even remember what’s in it.

“Well,” says the doctor, “ stimulants and chronic insomnia are never a good mix. Your tremors could dissipate on their own—but let’s just wait until the drug flushes out of your system before running any tests.” She snaps her gloves into the garbage can. “In the meantime, Mr. Stark, try to get some sleep.”

Sleep.

The thought is almost laughable.

Peter’s condition mellowed overnight.

They opted to keep him in the ICU, heavily sedated, to allow his body to recover more before they performed any more medical procedures.

Around nine o’clock, Pepper and Tony meet again with Peter’s doctor. “For the time being,” Dr. Jackson says, when Pepper tries to protest, “Peter needs to stay in the ICU. He’s pretty weak right now—the refeeding syndrome is taking a toll, and his body is in no condition to endure anything difficult. He’s eight-six pounds right now—his body mass index of thirteen-point-one. Do you understand how low that is?”

Pepper twists her mouth; Tony gnaws on the inside of his cheek.

“That’s the kind of index you see in Holocaust camp victims. Not teenage boys. Most doctors consider a BMI of twelve to be… well, the limit for human survival. His BMI is barely higher than that. He lost almost forty percent of his body weight, Mr. Stark. So unless we want to destabilize him, we have to keep him there for the time being.”

Tony keeps seeing flashes of Peter on the back of his eyelids: a blade pressed against his cheek, water poured over his cloth-covered face, cracked bone jutting out of his shin, a blue-white blowtorch glowing over his brachium, his panic-wide eyes smooth and wet like the yolk of an egg and gleaming in the light of the torch.

His fingers itch for his tools; he should be working. He needs to be working. God, Peter—

A warm hand on his knee. Pepper. Pepper’s here. She’s here. She’s here and she’s safe and she’s pregnant. Tony puts his sweaty hand over hers. She’s here.

“But before you see him,” Dr. Jackson continues, “there’s something we need to discuss. Something about Peter’s…condition.” There’s a nurse beside her, looking uncomfortable with her hands folded in her lap. “I do have to warn you—parents don’t tend to react well to this information. So if you need to take a break—get a drink of water, anything—then feel free. But this is a pretty sensitive issue.”

Tony grips Pepper’s hand tightly; Pepper holds his just as tightly, the both of them finding a lifeline in each other.

He doesn’t know what they could possibly tell him that he doesn’t already know. He witnessed everything : every cut, every burn, every lash, every bruise. He saw it all, lit up for him on a flat-screen television in his lab. Every drugged glance, every raspy sob, every broken scream. Like his own personal Saw film.

The doctor clears her throat; Tony snaps back into the present, finding the comfort of Pepper’s hand in his. “When we took Peter through the ICU,” she explains, “our medical staff did a more, well, thorough examination of him than when he first arrived. And when my staff performed that examination, they found evidence of violent sexual trauma. Some of it went unnoticed during our original exam, due to the nature of his…time missing. But some of his bruising is consistent with it, too. Underlying bruising around the hips, thigh, neck, genital region—all consistent.”

The woman is wincing. “Do you understand what I’m saying?”

Tony’s mind has gone cold and numb. He must be hallucinating. He must be hallucinating. He saw everything that happened to Peter—that’s how he knew his kid was still alive.

“They…” says Pepper, as Tony’s sight blurs. She’s using her business voice. Her I’m-CEO-of-Stark-Industries voice. “They abused him…sexually?”

“Yes, Ms. Potts.” Tony can feel the doctor’s gaze on him suddenly. “Mr. Stark? You alright, sir?”

There was never any sign, was there? In any of the livestreams… Charlie and the others never touched him like that. Never. There was sometimes a guy in the corner who looked a little suspicious but Tony never saw… They’d never spoken about Peter in that way, had never looked at him that way.

But the doctors said that it was true. That they’d hurt Peter in the worst way imaginable.

He thinks of Peter with deliberate force.

The couch is large, but somehow Peter has ended up on Tony’s side of it, his socked feet only inches from the man. The kid has his knees tucked up to his chest, arm resting, his head resting on a couch cushion, and Tony draws the blanket back over his feet. They’d been watching Superman at Tony’s suggestion (of course, the original from the seventies) and now blue-and-red flashes across Peter’s sleeping face as the superhero dove into the villain’s underground lair.

Even in his sleep, the kid is shivering a little, his hands tucked between his knees to keep them warm. He’s never been good at heat retention, not as long as Tony’s known him. He says it’s a ‘Spider thing,’ but Tony’s pretty sure it’s a ‘Peter thing.’

Tony pulls the blanket from his own legs and tucks it around Peter, pushing the edges of the quilt under his knees and shoulders so that it’ll stay.

In his sleep, the tucked-in kid lets out a content sigh.

Tony’s hands are trembling again. The doctor's words whine in his ears: “Are you… Are you sure?” he asks. “I didn’t see—I didn’t notice—”

Dr. Jackson interlaces her fingers and sets them on top of Peter’s manila folder. “Yes, Mr. Stark. We may not have seen much of Mr. Parker’s…type of situation in our hospital, but sexual assault is one thing we do see with some frequency here. We’re sure.”

Tony’s voice catches in his throat; he scratches there, just below his chin. There’s a burn scar there, mostly faded, from the tip of the smoking gun he’d pressed there when Pepper and Rhodey tried to break into his lab months ago. He remembers the sizzle of heat as he pressed it to that soft spot, the odor of burning beard-hair.

Dr. Jackson fiddles with the folder in front of her. “And although some of the…evidence of any sexual crimes may have been lost in his treatment, we can still do a rape kit to collect any evidence that was left. And this is the difficult part.” She sighs. “As of right now, Peter is de facto incompetent , meaning he can’t make any medical decisions for himself. And as his next-of-kin, it’s hospital policy, in the case of an incompetent victim, to ask the next-of-kin whether or not they’d like a rape kit done for the patient.”

Pepper glances at him; Tony feels her gaze like a double-laser searing into his cheek. “You want us to…” his fiancée tries, unable to finish.

Are they engaged anymore? Are they even dating? He finds this thought pervading his mind, overpassing any thoughts of Peter. Pepper’s engagement ring is gone, leaving a faint circle of white around her ring finger; vaguely, Tony remembers her throwing it at him the last time he saw her.

“Yes,” answers Dr. Jackson. “As his temporary guardians, it’s your decision. If any sex crimes against Peter were committed in the past 72 hours, we can probably get find remnants of DNA. And if you’re pursuing a legal case against the perpetrators of, um” —she tugs a bit at her ironed collar, uncomfortable— “what happened, then some tangible evidence will make it a lot easier. Legally, though, the hospital can’t do anything without the patient’s permission. Or the next-of-kin.” She points generally to Tony and Pepper.

Pepper’s still using her CEO voice. “Is it common?” she asks. “For parents to approve…”

“Statistically speaking,” says the doctor, “yes. Parents and guardians generally consent to a rape kit done for their child if the child is unable to give consent.”

“And the victims? Do they usually want one?”

The woman looks pained, the line of questioning drawing a line of sweat across her brown hairline. She fiddles with her ponytail, tightening it by pulling on either side. “Not exactly,” she says eventually. “When patients come in with sexual trauma, about half consent to rape kits, and of those… Only a third usually turn them over to the police.”

Tony could do the math, but his head’s hurting so much that he’s beginning to sway in his chair. He looses his hand from Pepper’s and grips the plastic arms of his chair. Oh, God. Oh, God.

“We’ll still take note of any injuries he sustained, but when it comes to identifying the perpetrator…”

Tony realizes suddenly that he probably knows whoever did it. He’s seen them all, flitting in and out of that depraved tiny room, high and sweating and twitching. He knows them. And one of them… One of them…

One of them raped Peter.

Tony struggles to his feet suddenly, the chair squeaking as he stands on shaking legs, grabbing the table for support. “Sorry,” he says abruptly. “I’m just gonna…” He waves awkwardly, trips over the leg of Pepper’s chair, and exits in a hurry, clutching at his chest.

He barely makes it to the bathroom before he’s coughing into the toilet—all that comes up is hospital coffee and bile. He didn’t think that they could strike at Peter’s dignity any more than they already had, and they’d… They’d… A kid.

When he’s retched all he can from his system, Tony staggers out into the hallway, pressing a hand to his forehead to relieve a sudden pain there; he finds himself sliding down the wall, back pressed against white-painted surface. He’s there alone for a while, and eventually he looks up to find another man in the hallway, leaned up against the wall. “Tony,” Steve Rogers says, with a polite, blond nod.

“Rogers,” he says, and the supersoldier approaches, bracing himself against the wall with one hand the whole way. “Thought you—” Tony pauses. He’s still having trouble putting sentences together. After speaking to robots and himself for four months, social interactions aren’t coming quite so easy. “Thought you left already.”

Steve Rogers has a black hoodie half-zipped over his bandaged chest—Tony recognizes it as one of the Quinjet’s stash of extra clothes. Tony’s wearing the same one now. The man shrugs, winces, and then drops his shoulders. “Not gonna leave the little guy to fend for himself,” he says, now only a couple feet from Tony. “Buck and I got a motel nearby.”

Motel. He hasn’t even thought about where he’s going to sleep. He’s just been passing out beside Peter’s hospital bed and in waiting room chairs. Tony makes a half-baked sound of acknowledgement and tucks his knees up, bending his legs into triangles so that Steve can pass him.

But Steve Rogers doesn’t walk past; instead, he bends down and, in the most awkward fashion Tony’s ever seen from the man, clambers into a similar position beside Tony: back to the wall, legs bent, forearms resting atop his knees.

Tony curls his hand into a fist and presses his clenched finger-and-thumb to his forehead, letting out a shaky sigh. This might be the first time he’s seen Steve since he tried to throw him in prison for trying to protect Bucky Barnes. “I’m sorry,” he says. “about how things went down. The whole…Barnes…thing. I didn’t—I didn’t get it. But now I—”

Steve Rogers is shaking his head. “That Accords mess…” the supersoldier says. “The whole thing… It’s forgotten. That was a long time ago, Tony. We’ve suffered for it now, all of us. ”

The man sounds surprisingly earnest.

Tony realizes now that Steve has changed his clothes entirely. He’s holding himself together in a way that children do, hugging themselves in lieu of another person. He remembers briefly the way Steve was acting on the plane, and he squints. On the plane ride to the hospital, Steve was…visibly disturbed. More so than Tony had ever witnessed from the man. Bare-chested and barefoot, with a small stain on his pants.

A stain.

His chest strangles itself, his lungs twisting like a dishrag. “What did they do to you in there?” he whispers, and Steve’s whole body tightens. “They said… They said that Peter’d been… That he…” Tony can’t say it out loud. He can’t. Saying it would draw it into existence, like coaxing a monster from underneath his bed.

The man sits quietly beside him, hands on his knees. One of his hands is in a cast, all the way up to the thumb—hardened strips of blue over white bandages.“So they told you?”

“You knew?” he whispers.

A close-mouthed sigh through the supersoldier’s nose, almost like relief.

“And you didn’t tell us?”

The other man grimaces. “Didn’t think it was anyone else’s business but his.”

A silence spreads between them like a growing pool of spilt milk. “They want us to choose,” Tony says. “To…examine Peter or not.” He tries to swallow and finds he can’t, his throat tightening with a twitch. “If you had the… the choice…”

Thankfully, the other man seems to understand the rest of the question without Tony saying it. “I think,” he starts, “in Peter’s situation… He hasn’t had a lot of autonomy lately. I…” He speaks slowly, like he’s chewing on each word before speaking. “I wouldn’t want to make this kind of decision for him. Those exams, they… They…” Steve stops, seeming to think better of his sentence. “He should get to choose.”

Tony staggers back into the conference room with newfound resolve, and the words take root in his brain, curling around the soil and worms and rainwater of his mind. Violent sexual trauma. Violent sexual trauma. Violent… “Can I see him first?” he says, gripping the doorframe with such force that his fingertips pale, his nail-plates going half-pink, half-white. “Please.”

Startled by his ragged entrance, the doctor nods. “That’s fine,” she says. “But only for a few minutes.”

They take them to Peter's room in the ICU. Pepper stays behind—they only allow one visitor at a time.

There’s a scrub-clothed physician there, tapping into a tablet and glancing up at the screened monitor. He moves to the corner as they appear, engrossed in the glowing screen of his tablet. As Tony passes him, he spots the name at the top of the screen: Parker, Peter Benjamin.

Tony feels like he’s swallowed a sliver of glass—like he’s swallowed a shard a long time ago and is only now feeling it scrape at his insides. “Oh, Peter…” he says, and he takes the kid’s limp hand, sitting at the kid’s bedside for the umpteenth time.

This isn’t a hallucination.

Peter’s hand is cold and clammy and real; Tony warms it by cupping it between his, trapping those spindly fingers in his own. “I know what they did to you,” he whispers. “They… They told me what happened.”

God, that shard of glass is digging in.

This is all his fault.

“I'm so sorry, Pete.” He kisses those pallid knuckles. Grasping the kid’s thin wrist, he sob trembles in his throat. He swallows it, and it slides down his esophagus like a spoonful of peanut butter. “I’m so, so f*cking sorry.”

Suddenly, violently, Tony thinks about the pain this one arm had to experience. He sees the lines, the scars, the million bruises this one square of flesh had endured. Scars layered over scars: some faint, like scratches with a knife; some thick and ropey, like the meat of his arm was carved to the bone; and some pink and mottled, like someone had taken a hot iron and pressed it to him till his skin festered.

This is all his fault.

“Peter,” he whispers. “Peter, kiddo. I—I don’t know what to do this time, okay? I don’t—don’t know… I’m not a genius, buddy. I’m not—not a superhero. I—I’m not made of iron. I’m not anything. I’m just a man. You hear me? You hear—” The tears bubble forth, salty in his throat and liquid in his eyes. “I’m just.. I’m just some guy who got you caught up in things you never should’ve been near… You should’ve never been…” He squeezes his eyes shut, pressing his forehead into Peter’s arm. He hopes the kid can hear him, but part of him fears it. “I'm just… I'm just one man. You shouldn’t—you shouldn’t trust me with things like this—do you trust me with something as big as this?”

The kid is silent, eyes closed, mouth half-open around a breathing tube. The rhythmic beeping of his monitors are Tony’s only solace. The kid’s heartbeat moves steadily across the screen, a jumping green line. His chest expands and rises with each mechanical breath, unresponsive.

“I don’t… I don’t know what to do , kid, I…” His face is wet, and he wipes at it. “You’re strong, Spider-Kid. You’re so strong. Stronger than any kid should have to be.” That sob he swallowed comes gurgling back up, and when he tries to breathe he finds the sob there, strangling him. “You know—Doc says I need to sleep,” he tries, and humor’s not working. Nothing’s working. His chest is wound in barbed wire. “And—and, like, never get up again.”

Peter doesn’t answer.

“And that’s what we’re gonna do, Pete. We’re gonna… We’re gonna sleep. For the rest of our lives. We’re gonna be lazy and—and waste all my money and—eat breakfast in bed and fall asleep on the couch and sleep in and… You’re never gonna have to do anything you don’t want to ever again, Pete. Ever again.” He has the sudden urge to squeeze Peter’s arm, hard, like biting into an apple or stepping off the deck of a bridge. “Ever. You’re never gonna… Have to…” Tony scrubs one hand over his face, and he can’t find any of the words he wants to say. They’re all stuck to the roof of his mouth. “Oh, God…”

The tears are coming faster than he can stop them, and he bows his head low, pressing the base of his forehead against the plastic railing; with a sudden visceral need, he wants to split his head in half with it—cleanly, like the salute of a vibranium hand.

This is all his fault.

“We’re gonna do whatever the hell you want, Peter. When we—we get you out of here, you’re gonna be in charge. You’re—we can—we—” Tony sobs helplessly, pressing his other hand into his twisted-tight chest. “I’ll do whatever you want. Whatever you need. Anything. You’re in charge now.”

That sliver of glass slices him open. This is all his fault. This is all his fault.

“Just…” he sobs, his throat aching in utter misery, “just this one—this one—this one thing, Pete. Just this one—oh, God…”

It hurts.

It hurts like an elephant’s foot on his chest, like acid in the pit of his stomach, like a pipe-wrench tightening around his skull.

God, it hurts.

“Pete—Peter—” He’s stripped raw—something in him gives , something impotent and miserable—and Tony sags forward into his kid’s scarred-over forearm, sobbing. “ Tell me what to do, buddy.

Notes:

i love you all, sorry it's a short chap, hope you like it

wish me luck in finals lol, ur comments will get me good grades

Chapter 24: safer ground

Summary:

Peter follows the sound of Cassie’s voice like a trail of breadcrumbs. Across a room, and to an open doorway—a flutter of hope in his panic-sunken chest. Peter’s body barely obeys him, flooded with a feverish heat and a heavy ache as he staggers through the doorway and into another space. “Cassie,” he rasps, collapsing against the wall, and he can’t get out more than a whimper from his sore throat. “Cass…”

Notes:

title from 'hold me down' by mr. kitty

CW: discussion/thoughts of CSA and sexual abuse (non-graphic), obv discussion/thoughts of torture and violence, medical stuff,

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

SATURDAY, AUGUST 25 — 9:40 AM

As soon as they pull Tony from the ICU, he calls May. Pepper gives him the number of her room in the Medbay, and reminds him that she’s still in recovery from the car crash and can’t speak without vast effort. He dials messily, his fingers stumbling over the buttons on Pepper’s phone.

He doesn’t even know where his phone is.

His mind is a sunken ship, and he drowns in it. He thinks of Peter—helpless, hollowed, hurting—and he starts to cry again, fingers pressed into his eyes as though that’ll stop the image of Peter’s brutalized body from appearing behind his eyes.

“Hey, May,” he says, and he tries to sound composed, “don’t talk. Just… listen. I know you’re sick. But I need you… I need you to tell me what Peter—what he wants.” His mind feels as though it’s on fire—like that Peter-shaped hole in his chest is now filled with sloshing lava.

Shallow breathing on the other line.

He tries to explain as best he can, referencing the party he’d rescued Peter from, and finds himself struggling to remember the exact details. “You remember? Someone was trying to roofie his friend and he—he drank the whole thing… And because Peter couldn’t remember the whole night, we… We asked him if he wanted to do a… a…”

The woman’s voice is weary and slightly slurred, maybe from the drugs she’s on. “…rape kit,” May finishes.

The words themselves sound like a death sentence; he can’t help picturing it then: Peter naked and facedown on the ground, and he punches his knuckles to his chest. Stop it. Stop it. “Yes,” says Tony, minutely relieved he doesn’t have to say it aloud. “You remember what he said?”

Peter yawns, blinks a couple times, and turns onto his side. “Hate those,” he mumbles, and he goes right back to sleep.

“I…remember…” croaks the kid’s aunt.

Tony swallows. “Do you think… If he asked you now…” He’s already forgotten his train of thought. He thinks of Peter. Sweet, happy, dorky little Peter. Tony thinks of him working in the lab, of him falling asleep on the couch, of him eating breakfast in the kitchen. Tony thinks of him laughing—the kind of full-bodied laugh that crinkles his eyes and draws his hand to his chest. “...that he would say the same thing?”

There’s a long silence—a mile wide and just as thick, so prevalent that Tony thinks she might’ve fallen asleep. Then, finally: “…Ned,” she manages.

“What?” he says, sure he heard her wrong.

A breath, croaky and weak. “Ask… Ned...”

SATURDAY, AUGUST 25 — 9:56 AM

Ned and MJ have been pacing the length of Ned’s bedroom for two days now.

Ned tells his parents they have a big decathlon debate to practice for, and MJ tells her mom the same. His Lola demands they leave the door open, and for once Ned doesn’t find the suggestion aggravating.

He just agrees.

Late Thursday night, they’d gotten a call from Happy Hogan, head of security at Stark Industries. He’d said two sentences to him: “We found him.” and “He’s alive.” before brusquely hanging up. Apparently, MJ got the same exact call just a minute later.

And ever since then: radio silence.

That call was Ned and MJ have been together since, trying to come up with a way to locate their best friend.

As MJ sits on his bed, cross-legged, scanning news outlets on her stickered laptop, Ned keeps dialing Stark Industries. He’s called them so many times that the secretary threatened to call the police.

So when his phone buzzes Saturday morning, over thirty-two hours since that original phone call, Ned picks up almost immediately, hungry for more information about his best friend.

The number is unlisted but Ned answers with bated breath, blurting out, “Peter?”

A sigh. An older, grown-up sigh. Not Peter. “Ned.”

Ned doesn’t say anything at first, still hung up on the fact that it’s not Peter’s voice; MJ shoves him with her sharp elbow and he manages, “Hello?”

“Is there anyone else…around?”

The voice is clearer then, weary through an iron-tight throat.

It’s Tony Stark.

Ned turns away from MJ then, ignoring her hand-waving and saying, “No, but—” He can’t help the flood of words that comes from him then. “Some guy told us you found Peter but he didn’t say anything else, and MJ tried to contact the Tower but they said you weren’t there, and—”

“Ned,” the man says again, softer. He sounds, oddly, like he’s been crying: his voice is a raw, overused sound. “Just—just listen—I need your advice.”

“Okay,” he says, his mind still focused on Peter. He doesn’t know what kind of advice he could possibly give to a genius billionaire like Tony Stark—

“Would Peter ever do a rape kit?”

Ned stops where he stands, his bare feet suddenly cold against his bedroom carpet. “Oh,” he says, an automatic noise. His mind goes thoughtless, blank, filled with a liquidy sadness.

Then the billionaire starts to speak. The words are stilted and jerky, like he’s reading a dictionary simultaneously. He mentions something, a party, a drink, and something Peter said a long time ago: I hate those.

And then he asks again: “Would he want one?”

Is this what happened to Peter while he was missing?

Ned is Peter’s best friend. They’ve been friends forever—since they were twelve, since the seventh grade. He knows about the babysitter, the one who molested Peter, the one Peter avidly refuses to ever mention by name. He knows about the frat party, where Iron Man found Peter with a girl’s hand halfway down his pants. He knows about his struggles with physical touch, about his fear of dating people, about his panic attack the first time he kissed MJ after seeing Hamilton with her. Ned knows everything.

Of course Ned knows.

But he didn’t know that Tony Stark knew, too.

Finally, Ned manages to gather himself; MJ is still in the room, arms folded so tight that she’s like a piece of origami.

“Um,” he says, his chest feeling wide and empty, “you’re not gonna like my answer, Mr. Stark.”

“Just tell me,” the other man croaks.

Ned grimaces. “No matter what,” he says, “Peter would probably refuse. He doesn’t… He doesn’t like them. Not that anyone would, just—it’s not something that he’s ever really agreed to, not ever, so if he had the choice, I mean—”

“Okay,” the man on the other line says. “Okay. Thank you, Ned.”

Ned senses the motion, and, knowing the man’s about to hang up, blurts, “Mr. Stark?” Ned can’t help it; his voice tinges on something freaked and it tastes like hysteria. “Is he okay?”

He grips the phone tightly as the man goes quiet. “No,” Tony Stark says finally. “No, he’s not okay.”

The man hangs up, and Ned’s left staring at his stupid home screen—an old picture of him and Peter, arms thrown around each other’s shoulders—after the call disconnects. “Well?” MJ says, stepping towards him. “What’d he say?”

Ned stares emptily at his phone.

SATURDAY, AUGUST 25 — 10:28 AM

When Tony returns to the conference room, there’s more people inside.

Pepper is in the corner, pacing and speaking on the phone with angry gestures; Steve Rogers is in the other corner, talking in low tones to Dr. Jackson.

When Tony arrives, though, Steve strides out of the room and past him stiffly, hands in his pockets. Spotting him, Peter’s doctor jerks her chin up in an unspoken question: What have you decided?

“We’re not doing it,” he says, far too harsh.

Pepper’s face falters; he knows then what she wanted to do. “Tony—”

“We’re not—we’ve failed him enough - we’re not taking anything else from him. I’m not gonna force him through something he wouldn’t consent to if he was awake. I won’t do it.”

They—as in Steve and Tony—argue quietly with Pepper, who gets so angry about the whole situation that she shoves at Tony’s chest and storms from the conference room.

Afterwards, Steve comes to Tony in the waiting room, and they sit together in miserable silence.

“Someone needs to tell the Paxtons,” says Steve after a while.

“Who?” says Tony, groggy with a foggy weariness.

“The girl?” he prompts. “Cassie Paxton-Lang. We’ve been keeping her parents in the dark about the Avengers involvement… They don’t know. About…what happened in there. And if they came after Peter… They could’ve…”

“The girl,” echoes Tony, sounding empty. “I remember… I heard her scream.”

Steve winces at that. “I didn’t see anyone go after the little girl. But… It’s possible. It’s definitely possible.” He stands then, dusting off his pants, his hands awkward in the movements. “Did they tell you when he’s coming out of the ICU?”

Tony shakes his head. “They said he’s… He’s better…” Tony’s still having trouble wrapping his mind around the fact that Peter is here . Alive. Breathing. Warm. Thinking about his well-being is another whole step of his shock back to reality. He itches for something to work on—for a weapon to fiddle with, wires to fix, code to write, chemical compounds to create. “He… His healing is kicking in.”

Steve doesn’t have to explain who he’s talking about. He. Peter. “Well,” he continues, “if he wakes up….” The supersoldier stops talking, pressing his mouth together in a sudden line.

They both heard it.

If he wakes up.

If.

SATURDAY, AUGUST 25 — 6:24 PM

Cassie looks up to find Captain America in her hospital room. Suddenly she feels like she’s in their room again, one wrist cuffed to the bed-railing. She looks behind him for Charlie or the red-haired lady or Mr. Beck, but there’s nobody else with him.

He looks better. She remembers when Mr. Beck smashed his face with the hatchet, how his nose and face bled. But now, all of his cuts are stitched and all of his bruises have darkened. “You’re not dead,” she whispers, clapping her hand over her mouth when she realizes that she’s spoken, and she cries in little quiet huffs, quiet enough that Charlie can’t hear.

Mommy turns, jumping at the sight of a man in the hospital room doorway. Some kind of recognition lights up her face; she doesn’t seem as guarded as usual.

Captain America, dressed in a black hoodie and some hospital-order scrubs, smiles a little. “Not dead. I said I'd find you, didn’t I?”

She does. She remembers what Captain America said to her very clearly: I need you to run that way, okay? I’m gonna run the other way so they can’t find you. And if I make it, I’ll come get you, okay? I promise—I’ll find you. And when she cried, he said, You can be brave. You can do it . And then he told her to run.

Cassie thinks, suddenly, about running again: about the broad forest, about sticks cutting into the bottoms of her now-bandaged feet, about tripping and falling, about her itchy scalp, about the hard-muscled arms of Captain America.

“Is she okay?”

They’re talking about her. Mommy’s talking softly, in that just-before-bed voice, and Captain America is nodding.

Cassie is okay. She’s not hurt. No one has beaten her or screamed at her. They’ve pricked her with needles, but none that sent flames of pain up and down her body. Her body feels it’s usual pain—the Always-Hurts—aches and pains in her bad arm and in her tummy and in her chest and in her head, but she hasn’t been hurt.

Cassie’s not hurt, but Peter will be. They always hurt him bad when their plans fall.

Where’s Peter? she thinks viscerally, and she starts crying again, hard. Captain America was supposed to find Peter, and if he returned to this room without him…

Is this their new Room? Is this where Charlie’s going to hurt her? Are they punishing Peter right now? Are they gonna punish her? She remembers them punishing Captain America, hitting him with that hatchet, the blood running down his teeth like drool…

Cassie thinks—she thinks hard, and then her mind scatters into something pitch and sticky.

No one here has hurt her yet.

But someone has to be hurt. There’s always someone bleeding, someone bruised, someone screaming for mercy. So who is it going to be? Are they gonna hurt Mommy? Is Captain America gonna hurt Mommy?

Is Mommy gonna hurt her?

The thought needles her, through her shaved-bald head and into the thick of her brain. Mommy’s gonna hurt her. She’s gonna punish her for running away. Maybe they’re talking about that now—about different ways to punish her for being bad. How hard to hit her after Cassie ran away from the cell.

The bad guys always punish her for running away.

Renee used to say something like that, that her parents were lucky she’d taken her, that their life was better because Cassie wasn’t there, that they wanted her gone. What if that was true? Maybe Mommy was the one making sure Charlie hit her when she was bad, the one who made sure the needle hurt, the one who took Peter away, the one who made sure Mr. Beck came in to make Peter so sad…

She listens back to their conversation, and she hears words clashing and melding: …signs of sexual contact on the other captive…

Are you sure? They said there wasn’t any sign of…

…sure… Can you sign these forms?

…didn’t know if we…

…who is it?

Anonymous for now… your family has to understand… much bigger than you understand…

There’s a clock in this room. At home, Cassie forgot what clocks looked like, but she recognizes the object hanging beside the door: the white circle, black numbers, pointy hands. She keeps staring at it as the voices of Captain American and Mommy blur together. She doesn’t know how to read a clock; Peter never taught her how. She can see that one hand is set between the six and the seven, while the longer one points near the eight. She doesn’t know what that means. Peter always tells her things like this—things she needs to know.

But it feels like it’s time.

It’s time, right? It’s time for them to come in and drag Peter away—but if Peter’s not here, then…

Are they gonna drag her away instead? Lock her into that chair and burn her skin until she smells smokey and bloody?

She ate something without Peter’s permission, too. Cassie knows she’s not supposed to do that—that she has to ask for permission first. Because…

Because of Mr. Beck.

Does this mean that Mr. Beck is going to hurt her like he did to Peter?

She remembers one night in their room when Peter talked to her about Mr. Beck. It was one of the only times he actually referenced what happened in those times during Mr. Beck’s visits.

“Cassie.”

Peter’s bony hand on her arm, squeezing lightly. “Cass. Cassie.” He’s always lucid in moments like this, in the very peak of the morning when Charlie and his crew are all asleep.

“Wake up, kiddo. Wake up.” When she opens her eyes, he’s there. bloodshot eyes scanning her face. His eye is still all messed up—last night, Charlie beat him so badly that the white of his eye turned red. Now it’s so swollen that Cassie can only see a sliver of blood there, the eye swallowed by swollen fleshy lids. “I need… I need to tell you something.”

“You smell weird,” she mumbles, sleepiness still pulling at her eyes. Peter smells clean, like flowers and soap, and also of sweat, which means he’d probably had a bad dream.

“I know,” he says, in that strained voice. “I need to tell you a story.”

She closes her eyes again. She’d been dreaming of Mommy and Daddy and Jim—of them all sitting at a dinner table together. She was hungry in her dream, and she’d been heaping her plate full of mashed potatoes, bread rolls, honey-baked ham, cranberry sauce, gravy-smothered turkey…

“Cassie.” She opens her eyes again. “Just listen, okay?”

“I don’t want a story,” she murmurs into his arm, curling her head into the heat of his shoulder. “I’m tired…”

“I know,” he says, and he sounds like he’s been crying. “Just…for a little bit, Stinger. Then you can go back to sleep.”

“Okay,” she says.

He grasps her hand loosely as he speaks, tethering himself to her. She squeezes back, her fingers light. His fingers are so much bigger than hers. “When I was about your age,” he says. “A little older, I think, I—”

“How old?” she asks.

“Eight,” he says, his voice a little high. “I was eight. And I met a guy at the library. He was older than me, like in high school, and I needed a babysitter—”

“What did he look like?” she asks, trying to imagine this mysterious guy.

“It doesn’t matter. He would babysit me, and he would show me things, things in magazines, and convince me to—”

“How old was he?” she asks, curious.

“Seventeen,” he says, curt. “No more questions, Cass, please. Just let me tell… Just let me tell it. He would come into my room and sit on the bed with me, and… and show me things. And he…”

As Peter talks, Cassie tries to picture the babysitter in her head. She imagines an older Peter, with short brown hair, but it’s not working. “What color was his hair—”

“It’s not important! ” he says, squeezing his eyes shut for a second. Cassie notices then the line of wetness trailing from his eye across his temple and into his matted hair. He’s crying. “Just listen, Stinger, please . He tricked me, okay? My babysitter, he… He did things like Beck does. He gives you presents, he says he’s good, he tells you all of these good things…and then he hurts you. Because he’s not your friend. I… thought he was my friend, too.”

Cassie is confused by this story: that people who are her age and Peter's age… She’s terribly confused, and she coughs raggedly before looking at Peter in his one good eye. “Are you going to trick me?’ she asks.

“No,” he says, good eye squinting, “no, Cassie, you’re not listening. He… He did… he did things with me. Things I didn't understand. Things that hurt me.”

“What kind of things?”

“Bad things.”

“What kind of bad things?”

“Like the things that… that Beck does. When he comes here.”

“But he doesn’t hurt you…”

He hesitates then, his jaw going hard beneath the skin of his face. “Cassie… He does. He does. It’s just a different kind.”

“Like the hammer? Like the… Like the needle?”

“No… Not like that. It’s not that kind of hurt.”

“I don’t understand.”

“I know, I know. God…” He ghost his hand over his eye, covering the swollen mass. “Just… he’s not good, okay? He’s not a good person. You understand?”

“Okay,” she says, and she goes quiet.

After a while, in her tired little voice, “Will we get pop-tarts tomorrow?”

“Maybe,” he says.

He wasn’t specific about what happened or what his babysitter did. Whenever Cassie tried to press for more information, he’d just roll over and go quiet.

Is Captain America one of those people? Cassie saw Peter kiss him and rub his knee. Does that mean he’s one of those tricky people? Like Peter's babysitter and Mr. Beck?

…Avengers? her mommy is whispering. So you’re saying…

Yes, Mrs. Paxton. Your husband…

She doesn’t understand most of it, but some words come in crystal-clear.

And then there it is, one word amongst many others: Ant-Man.

That’s one of Peter’s code words. Iron Man means protect yourself. Hawkeye means close your ears and don’t listen. Captain America means Peter needs medical help. Black Widow means be quiet and listen. And Ant-Man…

Ant-Man means run.

With her good hand, Cassie shoves at her mom’s chest, squishing her soft skin with her punch, and she hits again, as hard as she possibly can; immediately, Mommy stops talking and grabs by the forearm, saying, “Cassie, what—”

Hand on her wrist. There’s a hand on her wrist.

She’s gonna be punished.

“Peter!” she cries, and she hopes Peter can hear her, because she can almost see Charlie coming through her tear-filled eyes. “PETER, HELP ME, PETER!”

Captain America’s looking at her now with wide eyes. He’s one of them. This must have been his plan all along, like Mr. Beck—to pretend to be nice until he can get close enough to Peter to make him cry. He’s gonna hurt her, gonna pin her down, gonna touch her like Mr. Beck does to Peter.

She doesn’t want that. Cassie has seen it—those violent thrusts, all the bared skin, the bruises and the crying, and she clutches at her hospital gown, wanting that sweatshirt back. She doesn’t feel good. She doesn’t feel safe.

She wants Peter.

She twists out of her mommy’s arms and hits the ground on her hands and knees, the impact sending such pain through her arm that she lets out a wail of pain, but she scrambles to her feet and ducks under Captain America’s muscled legs, taking off down the hallway on bandaged feet.

Cassie is small, so she dodges them; Peter taught her well. The whole way, she keeps screaming Peter’s name all the way down the hallway. She’s gonna find him; he has to be here somewhere, being punished by Charlie. She wants him to hold her, to hug her and tell her exactly what’s going on, to explain in that quiet, shaky voice who’s the bad guy and who isn’t. She trips down a flight of stairs, her bandaged arm banging against the stair-railing, and the white doors open into another hallway, one with new people and orange-colored scrubs.

They come after her in swarms: doctors and nurses and people in gowns, all rushing to catch her, but she’s learned too well. She runs as fast as she can, faster than the forest, faster than her escape attempts, because if they kill Peter…

Oh no , what if they killed Peter?

She screams his name at the top of her lungs, so loud that her whole throat vibrates with the effort: “Peter! Peter! PETER! PETER!

SATURDAY, AUGUST 25 — 6:49 PM

Peter senses her voice like it’s underwater: in ripples of lightened sound over his eyelids.

Peter. Peter. Peter. Peter.

That’s Cassie’s voice. That’s Cassie… He’s… He can’t hear her. He feels freeze-dried, something pasted onto parchment; his body is so stiff that clenching his fingers takes a world of effort. He forces himself up, his aching abdomen seizing, and there’s something in his throat, something cylindrical and stiff. Oh, God—oh, God—he’s on the bed, he’s on the bed—

The mere thought renders him weak; he smacks at his mouth with his palm and grasps it then, digging his fingernails into plastic and tearing it out in one rough jerk. He coughs, and he coughs, and there’s movement in the corner of the room. Words come out of him in a pathetic, wheezy mumble: “Cass,” he chokes out, because that’s a man—Peter can smell him from here, all sandalwood and sweat. He has to warn her… Has to tell her, but he can’t find the words, he can’t attach his frazzled thoughts to words: he just knows her name. “Cassie… Cassie…”

He—where’s Charlie? where’s—where are they?

And Cassie. Cassie. Where’s Cassie? Where’s Cassie?

The man moves, and terror like lightning surges through his chest. Any semblance of coherency is gone; he sees blood as he opens his eyes, and the whole room is a curtain of blinding white.

His body is frail; his legs heavy, his breathing shallow, his muscles stringy like melted gelatin—he tries to breathe, and it hurts. It all hurts . But his blood is pumping; they’ve drugged him again. The drugs push, oily and wet, into his brain and through his eye sockets, thickening in his arteries. What did he do? Peter can’t remember… He can’t remember anything…

A dark-skinned hand on his shoulder, and there’s fear like a blowtorch heating the side of his face. Peter throws himself away from the man, and finds himself on the hard floor, sweaty palms braced against linoleum. There’s Cassie’s voice again, faint but there , screaming for him.

They’re hurting her. He fell asleep and they’re hurting her. He can see nothing but flashes of color and purified panic—he’s crazy— he’s crazy— because everything is wrong .

“Cass…” he mumbles, and he forces himself up, disobeying everything in his body telling him not to. “Cassie…”

Limping heavily on one leg, he walks, and he walks, and his leg is bursting with sparks of damp pain, pressure like a pressurized canister of oil on a hot stove or a grenade without a pin, three seconds from bursting into a spray of metal debris.

Cassie, he thinks, the only word in his mind with any lucidity. Cassie, Cassie…

Peter staggers and he feels like he’s walking on the walls with the amount of weight pressing on one side. His chest aches like he’s been blasted with a gauntlet, like someone carved it out and shoved a poisoned arc reactor inside.

More hands on him and he moves faster, throwing his arms out to knock them away. Arms come for him, blue-clothed. There’s movement in his blurry peripheral and he does what he does best: he fights for his life.

“Sir, I need you to calm down—hey! Need some help in here!”

He kicks and dodges and shoves and follows the sound of Cassie’s voice like a trail of breadcrumbs. Across a room, and to an open doorway—a flutter of hope in his panic-sunken chest. Peter’s body barely obeys him, flooded with a feverish heat and a heavy ache as he staggers through the doorway and into another space. “Cassie,” he rasps, collapsing against the wall, and he can’t get out more than a whimper from his sore throat. “Cass…”

Where is she? What did they do to her?

“Someone grab him!”

Don’t touch her, please don’t, she didn’t do anything wrong —staggering like a dying man, his feet heavy on the floor. Peter’s leg—there’s something wrong with his leg— there’s always something wrong with his leg —and he feels hands on him, someone trying to wrangle him into submission and he’s not going back in there—

“CASSIE!”

Her name bursts from his burning esophagus like a boiling geyser, and he throws himself forward, fighting the near-faint dizziness and bodily hurt that douses him like a bucket of gasoline. Peter’s barreling through the crowd of people to get to her. He’s a bull in a china shop, battering everything in sight to get to Cassie. He can hear her still, wailing his name, they’re hurting her, no, please don’t hurt her, please don’t hurt her— and the sound of her hurting voice makes his knees buckle. “Cassie…” he gargles, and there’s blood in his mouth, filling in the slender gaps between his teeth. Someone grabs his arm, and he shudders away from it— no, Beck, please, PLEASE— and tries to pick up the pace, limping so fast that the weight breaks away from his leg—a cast? He thinks of the doctor then, of his short blondish gray beard and his round belly and his warm eyes and his mind is filled with the sight of spraying blood and facial flesh—

He falls onto his knees, and the pain of impact draws nauseating blackness to swallow him. A hand on his back and a man’s voice in his ear: “Sir, please, let me help—”

Tears flood down his face unbounded, and he cowers under the man’s touch, crawling away despite the sickening pain of his knee; finding the strength to stand, he struggles to his feet, follows her wailing voice, and finds himself in a stairwell.

There’s his kid at the top—shaved head, dark eyes, broken arm, teary face.

His kid.

For a split second, Peter thinks of Mr. Stark, his voice as plain as the sun gleaming in the sky: You’re doing so good, Peter. So good. You’re gonna pull through. You’re strong, okay? You’re the strongest kid I know. Someone shouts her name, and someone shouts his, and they’re not gonna hurt her

Arms outstretched, Peter lunges at Cassie; Cassie lunges at him. He tackles her mid-air, both of them landing on the metal-ridged stairs with a umph that knocks the wind out of the girl. She clings onto him like always, wrapping her arms and legs around his skinny body in a clamplike vise, and he holds her, backing into the wall and squeezing his eyes shut as he shields her from the rest.

Cassie.

Cassie.

“Peter,” the little girl sobs, and her face is wet when she presses it into his neck. Cassie smells like herself, like unwashed skin and eggy sink-water, and she clings to him so tightly that he drops his knee to the ground with the pain of it. “You came—I thought—I thought—”

Shuddering, grating breaths heave from him, every lungful an effort. He has the desire to tell her— I’m here— but the words can’t translate to legibility on his tongue. He just feels crazy, like he’s strung between nightmares. His spidey sense is a blur: they’re beside him, they’re above him, they’re in front of him, they’re all coming after him—

There’s shadows all around them then, grabbing at him, and Peter clutches his kid tightly to him—like a waterskin in the desert, like an oxygen tank in a space station, like a gold-titanium suit in a wormhole—eyes wild; his body screams for him to stop. He hits and punches, flailing like he’s drunk, but he’s so f*cking weak that he can’t do stop the horde of limbs coming for him. “PLEASE!” he begs, as Cassie clings to him, and some sick, minute part of him craves the pain already so that the anticipation fluttering in his clenched-tight chest will be over. “Please, please, please …” His throat is so raw that his words come out in a splutter of cracked sound, as though he’s speaking through a mouthful of sand.

He shouldn’t have fought back, he shouldn’t have fought back

His spidey sense is electrified, every figure around him a blood-drenched threat, and he’s in so much pain that he’s struggling to stand up again. Someone is shouting, and that can only be bad. He has to keep Cassie safe— she’s not safe, they’re not safe, they’re never safe— and there’s a voice, a man’s voice ringing through his ears.

The figures retreat from vision, and he panics, jerking left and right with his hand out, trying to prevent whatever’s coming, and he squeezes his eyes shut in anticipation, shaking so badly that his casted leg slips. At last, Peter falls into a crumpled sitting position, arms twined around his kid so rigidly that he can feel the rattled breaths in her lungs. “Peter—” whimpers Cassie, her head pressed into his damp neck, “I’m scared…”

He doesn’t know where they are. This isn’t… This isn’t the bunker. This isn’t the bunker.

Where are they going?

This is bad, this has to be bad, they’re gonna flay him alive for this ; he takes huge gulps of breath, the air scraping against his pained throat. They’re gonna hurt him, gonna strap him down and peel his skin off one strip at a time, gonna light a blowtorch and set it to his back, gonna whip him with wire-cords until he can’t remember his own name. Cassie is a weight on him, pulling at him with her little hands, a heaviness clutching his shirt. Shirt? No, there’s no cloth between his chest and Cassie’s hands.

A sob in his throat.

No, he. He’s not wearing clothes.

He’s not wearing clothes—

Oh, God. The fear comes then in a tsunami wave, like a serrated knife twisted in his gut, twisted and twisted and twisted, leeching him of any warmth; he can feel the shiver of paper against his thighs—there’s something around his waist but he’s not wearing any clothes— and he holds Cassie tighter and tighter, turning his body into the wall so that his back is to the open and Cassie is shielded, his skinny arms knotted around her like a hitch. His body is her shield, his body is her shield, HE IS THE ONLY THING BETWEEN HER AND THE INEVITABLE—

A man is kneeled in front of him, and he sobs harder, his spidey sense blaring: danger, danger, danger—

“Peter. Peter. It’s me. I’m here, kiddo. I’m here.”

SATURDAY, AUGUST 25 — 7:03 PM

In front of Tony, Peter is curled up at the landing of the stairwell, his eyes squeezed shut and his body curled around that bald little girl.

He’s still dressed in that ICU gown, a paper-fabric that is tied around his waist, but it bares most of his bandaged chest to the crowd of medical staff in the stairwell. Tony can’t imagine what the kid must be seeing: a roomful of people trying to grab him is only one of the many causes of pain he experienced in that bunker.


Happy starts to usher them out, pushing gawking patients through the double doors before they can catch a glimpse of the kid. Most of the medical staff follow as well, leaving a doctor, a couple nurses, Tony and Pepper, and the girl’s family. Beside him, her parents are pale, both clinging to each other in abject shock.

The world falls away: it’s just Peter and Tony, Tony and Peter. He inches closer, going shakily to his knees, and Peter practically writhes in an attempt to get away from him, twisting his body into the corner as though attempting to burrow through the wall.

That’s his kid. That’s his kid.

“Peter,” he tries, his chest aching, and the kid’s eyes are unseeing, bouncing around the room like a horror-themed pinball machine. “Peter. It’s me.” Is he even awake? The kid looks like a ragged sleepwalker, swaying a little as his eyes graze the room. “I’m here, kiddo. I’m here.”

Peter makes a small sound, a moan of pain or confusion, and squirms further into the wall, guarding the girl with every bony inch of his physical body. At least his voice is working—his healing must have kicked in because his throat looks better, the black bruises lightening into browns and yellows. Every time the kid moves, shifting around like he’s scared, the girl’s terror only heightens, her whole body trembling—like she knows if Peter’s scared, then there’s something legitimate to be frightened of.

Tony has never felt more like a father. “Look at me, Peter,” he says. “You remember me? Mr. Stark?”

Peter stares at him for an unbearable length of time. His face is so scarred, ridged lines of flesh covering his jaw and neck. Tony remembers every cut and every burn, every mark on Peter’s body, how Charlie grinned as he did it. He remembers that scar, of the knife poked through his cheek on the second day. He remembers that burn, the blowtorch that singed his ear until the kid passed out from the pain. He remembers that scar on his forearm, from when he’d tried to pick his cuffs with a loose screw and they’d sliced his wrist in retaliation, telling him, “THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU TRY TO ESCAPE, PARKER. YOU DIE. YOU’RE NEVER GETTING OUT OF HERE.” and let him bleed out in flailing terror until he passed out from the blood loss.

Tony had watched on his television screen, banging helplessly at the heated glass, as red pooled around that f*cking chair.

Now, he’s… Peter here, curled up in a hospital stairwell, but he’s not himself—so contorted by torture and fear that he can’t speak more than a word at a time. “It’s me,” Tony says again, wanting to touch him. “You’re safe, buddy. We—we made it out. We got you out.”

Still unresponsive, Peter seems to be clinging to consciousness with every neuron in his exhausted body. His eyes rake over the room, wide and bloodshot, before squeezing shut every couple seconds. His lips part every time he breathes, gasping in ragged breaths. He’s terrified.

His knee, previously casted, has been twisted into a bent, obtuse angle from walking on it. God, he must be in agony. The bruises around his throat are fading, but there’s so much more. Scabbed-over cuts all over his skin, those half-healed whip-wounds in his naked back, and that leg—his knee is so shattered that it doesn’t resemble a joint anymore; every step must be pushing bone fragments into his muscle.

Tony can’t imagine the pain he must be in.

And still the kid is pushing through, willing himself to consciousness in order to protect this little girl.

Something startles the kid. Peter looks down at himself, his brown eyes suddenly growing wide with fresh panic, and more tears come down his face. One of his hands is stroking, gently, trembly, over the girl’s freshly bandaged head. Peter shakes his head, and he shakes it again, and his whole body quivers—as though anticipating something.

There’s a wetness sliding down Tony’s neck—it’s only then Tony realizes he’s been crying, enough tears coming down his face that they’re rolling into his beard. “Peter… Peter… It’s okay, it’s okay… Peter, we won. We did it, buddy…” He tries to catch the kid’s gaze, finding nothing but pain . “Peter, look at me. We’re gonna be okay.” Peter whimpers, a raw sound in the back of his throat, and his matted hair glistens, oily and tangled, in the hospital light as he shifts. His bare feet, lined with old burns and tiny red marks, squeak against the hospital floor as he pushes himself further into the wall. He’s so f*cking small. Tony wants nothing more than to gather the kid into his arms, to cup the back of his head and hug him. God, he just wants to hold him. Tears like runny eggs slides down Peter’s face, and the kid shuts his eyes, tilting his face down and away from Tony like he’s expecting the man to f*cking hit him. “Kid, look at me—look at me, Pete. Come on, you can do it. I’m here. It’s me. You’re safe, buddy.” Tony’s choking on his tears now, some of them slipping down the back of his throat as he sniffs. “You’re safe .”

Tony realizes then that most of Peter’s scarring is on one side of his face. The left. Like Charlie had gone with his dominant hand. This is the side that Peter subconsciously hides, shying away as Tony comes close, ducking it into his chest with squeezed-shut eyes.

He offers his hand, palm up, to the kid. Trust me, kid. Trust me. You’re safe . Just a day and a half ago, this was him. Empty-eyed, crumpled up, leeched of life.

“Godfather, remember?” Tony whispers, trying to soften the sickening feeling that’s broiling in his stomach. “We’ve gotta watch the Godfather.”

Something in Peter’s abused mind seems to click, because he draws in breath quickly like he’s just been struck. He remembers . His eyes trace Tony’s shoes, his socks, then run over his sweatpants and T-shirt—the same ones Pepper gave him in the Quinjet Thursday night. His face melts from terrified to slightly less terrified, then to wholly confused, glancing behind him, in slight bursts of panic. “Cassie…” the kid whispers, the word tainted by panic as he tightens his grip around her.

“Oh, buddy,” whispers Tony, and the hollow of his throat aches with miserable hurt. “No one’s gonna hurt her. No one’s gonna hurt you, either. It’s just us, buddy.”

Again, Peter’s eyes scan the room, his fear-blown pupils starting to shrink to a regular size. One of the Paxton parents steps forward, trying to get to Cassie, and Tony hears Happy pull them back. Peter is taking in the room at last—the whiteness of the linoleum tile, the papery texture of his hospital gown, the fluorescent lights above him, the white-painted walls. With every new discovery, he clutches Cassie tighter. Tony’s surprised that the muscles in his arms don’t give—he can see them shift under his skin, wiry and firm.

The girl is still in his lap, hugging him like a baby monkey, whispering into his ear in teary stammers; Peter grows more lucid by the second, his eyes dulling that blind-panic sheen.

At last, Peter’s brown eyes settle on Tony’s face, the person barely a foot away from him. His nostrils flare. And Peter Parker, the kid he’s been watching be brutalized for months now, looks at him with such a gaze of withering longing that Tony can feel it in his chest like the ghost of an arc reactor.

Recognition. It’s fleeting but it’s there, glistening in Peter’s big brown eyes, in the twitch of his confused brow. The kid’s whole body trembles as though afraid of the truth of what he’s seeing, his eyes raking over Tony’s crouched form. And then Peter croaks out a sound, voice raw with addled trepidation, still clutching the kid to his bruised chest, his cracked lips barely parting.

The words are barely understandable through his strangled throat, but Tony understands. He does. He understands immediately . A fresh burst of tears well in his eyes—sudden and painful relief.

“Mr. Stark?”

SATURDAY, AUGUST 25 — 7:30 PM

Queens native Flint Marko has killed more people than he cares to count.

Men and women, old and young, black and white, evil and innocent.

He’s known for a lot—witness killings, high-level government assassinations, foreign executions—and is generally hired by governments and the rich to take it those who might be a threat to their empires.

And today, he gets an anonymous message with a cash drop into his bank account. Twenty grand, unmarked, paid in full by an anonymous donor with a message: This is a down payment. Each one on the list is twenty more.

Flint Marko needs the money—much more money than he can get with a normal job—because his daughter is sick. Terminally. He’s been paying for her treatment for years with his dirty money.

If it keeps his Penny alive, he’ll do it.

The list has thirteen people on it.

Four soldiers. Nine unemployeds. All located at some local prison in rural New Hampshire. Charles Keene, Renee Deladier, Jonathan Walker, Riri Williams, Quentin Beck… He hasn’t heard of any of these targets, which is good. Public targets are always the most difficult to complete.

Another ping! from his phone. The message: They are witnesses. Eliminate them ASAP.

The soldiers will be hard, too—they’re currently being held at a military base in Massachusetts as they await their arraignment. Military bases are well-fortified and well-guarded.

His work phone pings : a list of questions. Ask these first.

They’re all legal questions, most of which Flint himself doesn't understand, but he saves them into his phone nonetheless.

If they decline, continues the message, then continue as planned. Execute—and leave no trace.

And at last, there are two final targets, with their full names provided.

Both of the targets are located at a hospital a few miles away from the jail.

Peter Benjamin Parker and Cassandra Marie Paxton-Lang.

Notes:

i wrote most of this on the plane/waiting for my delayed flights so if there are continuity errors/typos/random other sh*t plz lemme know, i'd like to not embarrass myself for the whole internet to see

(any of u who wanted ur ppl in there, it's coming lol, we've just gotta get thru some other stuff first)

and finally got to 200k words!! woooo

and if you don't know who flint marko is then use the internet idk, i just kinda assumed that you all had seen all the spiderman movies

Chapter 25: don't be a stranger

Summary:

Neither of the kids move. In fact, they seem to both go stiff, the girl half-turning her head and freezing bodily once she sees the tray. The little bald girl, her head bandaged in white loops, whispers into Peter’s ear—the good one, not the burnt one.

Peter glances from Tony to the doctor and back again, the only movement in the jerky whites of his eyes. He breathes in rasped huffs; Cassie coughs, hacking up mucus into the crook of his shoulder, and the kid doesn’t even flinch.

Notes:

chap title from 'scott street' by phoebe bridgers

sorry bout the wait everybody, i'm on winter break now and it's lowkey hard to write long chapters of fanfic with all my family lurking around, siblings always trying to get in ur business

also do u remember back in literal chapter 7 when i mentioned that the doctor had a son and the son's name was harley?? that is highkey important. jsyk. wink wink.

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

SATURDAY, AUGUST 25 — 7:39 PM

Tony can feel Peter’s stare like a pair of lasers in his face, a look so intense that it’s melting him down to the bone.

He just said his name.

Tony’s name and nothing else.

It’s the first true point of coherency Peter’s had since he arrived, and thank God he’s not thrashing anymore.

“Yes,” Tony chokes out. “Yeah, kid, it’s me. It’s Mr. Stark.”

Wide-eyed and still protecting the little girl, Peter continues to stare. Tears run from his face, mucus streams from his nose, and there’s blood in his teeth—why the hell is there blood in his teeth?

Peter’s so hesitant. So timid. Like any move he makes will set Tony on a rampage. This isn’t the Peter Parker he used to know—who talked until he was out of breath, whose face lit up at the slightest Star Wars reference, who chattered nonstop through every meal, who spotted crime from his bedroom window and swung down to lend a helping hand… Terrified confusion washes over the boy’s gaunt face, his brown eyes tracking Tony’s movements as he shifts onto his knees.

Behind him is a sudden stillness—Happy must have cleared out most of the people in the stairwell.

And Peter stares.

He doesn’t rush at him for an embrace or cower away in terror or shake a pointed finger at him with rage.

He just…stares.

He holds that crying little girl and stares—those brown eyes squint, trying to narrow down what he’s seeing, so Tony repeats himself. “It’s me, buddy,” he says. “Do you know where you are?”

He doesn’t say anything—the little girl, Cassie Paxton, whispers into Peter’s good ear. The kid doesn’t make a move to know he’s heard her—he continues to stare at Tony like he’s never seen another human being in his life.

“You’re at a hospital,” Tony says, painstakingly slow, his heart pounding for the kid, “in northern New Hampshire.” The kid’s eyes jerk around the room, scanning and scanning but not really seeing. “You’re… You were in the ICU—and now you’re in a stairwell. We’re safe—you’re not there anymore. You’re safe.”

The expression of unadulterated confusion on his face twists into something raw and shining—the kid squeezes his eyes shut. His hands tremble again, and he clamps them around the little girl. He’s so thin; a breeze could take him out. God, Tony’s gonna feed this kid. They’ve—they’ve been starving him for so long… Tony’s gonna fill his fridge with anything and everything this kid has ever f*cking wanted. Thai food. Pasta. Burgers. Chinese. Pizza. Anything he wants.

He looks so much worse in person than he ever did on that grainy television. He can see the remnants of every cut they sliced into his skin, can see every scared twitch in his body. He’s terrified.

And why wouldn’t he be? He just spent the last four and half months being tortured and belittled by those sick psychopaths.

“They arrested everyone in there,” Tony continues. “Everyone, buddy. Avengers f*cking swarmed the place—you remember that? You’re never going back in there.”

He moves his already-extended hand towards Peter—craving to touch him, to hold him, to soothe him like he’s wanted to these past few months—and the kid flinches, his whole body going rigid and his eyes going wide. “Mr. Stark,” Peter whimpers— his name again, but it’s half-begging and half-fearing.

The kid doesn’t know what to do.

“You’re at a hospital,” he repeats, the words coming out so fast. “You’re safe, Pete. We got you out.” Again, he shifts closer, his feet barely sliding over the hospital tile. He approaches him slowly, like one would a stray dog or a spooked horse. “It’s me, kid. It’s me. I’m not gonna hurt you.” Tony keeps his hand extended, palm out. “It’s just me.” His fingers tremble, his nerves still frayed from the supplement pills.

There’s sudden movement behind Tony—the instant it happens, Peter’s eyes flit to it, and he curls into the wall, pulling his bandaged body around the little girl with a full-bodied violence.

Peter’s eyes cloud with fear at the sudden motion—a physical sheen like a cataract—and he sucks in a breath of air; his bare chest shudders with each intake. The pain he’s in is so obvious: his chest so taut, his breathing so hitched, his jaw so clenched—

At the look of abject fear on his kid’s face, Tony whips around to face the figure, pulling out his watch at the same time and transforming it into an Iron Man gauntlet with one twist of his wrist: it’s the little girl’s dad, the one dressed shaggily in his pajamas. “Back,” says Tony, exhausted and freakishly calm, “off.”

Now with his hands in the air, the Paxton dad backs up, grayish hair hanging shiny over his forehead, glancing once to his daughter before taking a good number of steps away. Behind him, his wife is crying silently, her hand pressed over her mouth. “Stark,” he says stiffly, “just let me get my daugh—”

“I said back off ,” Tony repeats, his hand-gauntlet still trained on the man. “No one’s coming near my kid.”

Paxton nods slowly, taking another step back, and several doctors usher the upset parents out of the stairwell.

And that’s when it happens—behind him, Tony feels a touch, a small one, the brush of fingertips against his pinky. It’s just a second, and then they’re back, hooking loosely onto his ring and pinky fingers like a toddler to his mother. The touch is gentle—hesitant—and then another.

Tony doesn’t know what it was that did it—that made Peter cross that fateful line between terrified and safe. It could’ve been the sound of the gauntlet clicking into place or the sight of someone’s back turning to him. Maybe it was Tony's smell or his voice or his figure or the way he stood.

Whatever it was, it worked.

Peter recognized him.

Somewhere in the recesses of his abused mind, Peter knows. Peter knows he’s safe with Tony.

And as the kid can’t seem to recognize anything else around him—the hospital, the doctors, even Pepper—this is a start. It’s something.

Tony stays still as the kid’s fingers linger on his; he doesn’t dare turn around. It’s me, he thinks, pleading. It’s me.

A doctor pipes up, voice shrill: “He really shouldn’t be out of the ICU—“

At the mere sound of another person’s voice, the kid startles, the grip on Tony’s fingers becoming so tight that the kid’s super-grip might be bruising him. “Can we open up another hospital room?” Pepper asks quietly. “Somewhere close? And quiet? Where you can examine them both?”

“Yes, ma’am,” says the doctor, who quickly moves aside and disappears through the stairwell doors.

“Alright, Pete,” says Tony, quiet and calm as he can, “you feel like going for a stroll?”

Peter blinks emptily. This haze the kid is in—frightening. He only ever saw Peter like this in the television: the calm before the storm.

At least he’s not screaming.

The kid seems to have pulled himself into some semblance of calm, one arm wrapped around the little girl, the other clasped loosely around Tony’s fingers. “Okay?” Tony whispers, searching for confirmation. “Is that okay?”

You’re in charge, Pete. You’re in charge.

A pause—Peter taking it in, his mind whirring like an old clock. He nods, and he nods again, and his fingers tighten. He tries to stand—but his legs buckle beneath him, and he falls hard onto the stairwell floor.

“Do you want help with—“

Tony hasn’t even mentioned the girl by name, and Peter’s eyes alight with something primal and vicious, and he huffs, twisting so quickly in an attempt to protect himself and the girl that he collapses back into the wall.

Peter tries four more times to stand up.

Each time, his broken leg collapses beneath him; each time, he gets back up.

They all wait, patient—Tony, Pepper, and the couple medical staff left in the stairwell.

Finally, he locks one arm beneath Cassie, leans back against the wall, and slides himself into a pained standing position, still with one hand in Tony’s. He’s gripping Tony’s hand with such profound force that the man can feel his knuckles grind against one another, but he doesn’t care.

The doctor points to the lower stairwell door—so Tony begins to move, shuffling towards the stairs as Peter follows. His limp is so pronounced that each step sounds like a heartbeat: la- dum, la- dum, la- dum.

The stairs are difficult, but they take their time. Peter has stopped crying by now, his face leeched of all emotion except for hesitant panic.

The hospital does its best to empty the hallways as Peter goes through. He follows slowly, one pain-heavy step at a time, favoring his left leg like a peg-legged pirate. Tony leads him carefully, his hand gentle around Peter’s cold fingers, like he’s leading a kid to his first day of kindergarten.

The doctor ahead opens up a nearby hospital room—the closest empty one—props up the door, and ushers them all inside.

SATURDAY, AUGUST 25 — 8:04 PM

Harley Keener has spent the last six hours traveling.

Since getting a call from a local New Hampshire morgue this morning, he found the earliest possible flight, boarded on hour later, flew another hour to Boston—the closest major city—then took a three-hour-long bus trip to some rural New Hampshire mountain town he’s never f*cking heard of. His ears still haven’t popped from the flight.

The morgue’s call from this morning still echoes in his mind. “ Hello ,” said the voice on the other end, a young woman. “Is this…” There was some light shuffling of paper. “...Harley Skivorski?”

“It’s Keener,” he said sharply. “Harley Keener.”

“Son of Leonard Skivorski and Rose Keener?”

He sat up iron-straight in his twin dorm bed. “That’s me,” he said carefully. “What’s going on?”

They explained it to him carefully: in such deliberate terminology that it was like they were reading from a teleprompter. “… and your father was killed—the autopsy revealed that he died sometime on Thursday night.”

“Autopsy?” he echoed, dazed by the sudden words.

Yes, Mr. Keener. Usually the medical examiner requires consent for an autopsy, but as the manner of death was ruled a homicide—”

“Homicide?”

“Yes.”

“But how did he—how did he—” He sat down, falling onto his dorm bed. He still hasn’t put on the sheets.

A pause from the woman on the other line. “The cause of death was multiple gunshot wounds.”

Over the phone, they’d mentioned they’d identified the man successfully through fingerprints, but they still want a positive ID from a family member. That meant him.

So here he was: on the back end of a three-hour bus ride to the middle of nowhere so that he could identify his father’s body. He hasn’t seen the man in months —apparently, he ran off in the middle of a shift at the hospital and never came back. Now, that wasn’t unusual for Harley’s dad. He’d been an alcoholic for most of Harley’s childhood, so going on random benders and going missing for a few weeks was certainly in his wheelhouse.

But, the thing is, his dad had been good for the past three years. Sober, steady job, visiting Harley and his mom regularly… He hadn’t touched a bottle since Harley got to high school.

A weight of disappointment in Harley’s chest.

But that’s how it was with addicts, right? They always went back to their drug of choice, even if it hurt the people around them. Harley wasn’t surprised his dad had gotten himself shot—maybe he was buying drugs or indebted to the wrong people.

Whatever it was, it still hurt.

Harley gets off the bus sometime around nine o’clock and walks the rest of the way. The morgue is located between a gas station and a funeral home. As he walks up, he finds a couple employees at the front, chatting as one locks the front door—god, it’s late. He’s too late. “Wait!” he says, frantically rushing forward.

Both employees are dressed in lab coats; all have nametags pinned to their fronts. They turn as he calls out, and one of them backs up as he approaches. “I was supposed to—” Harley starts out of breath, “I was supposed to come here.”

One doctor checks his watch as the others filter away, pulling off their lab coats and heading to their cars. “Come back tomorrow,” he says. “We open at seven.”

Honestly, he had thought his father was on a bender. It wasn’t unusual for him. Harley hadn’t reported him missing, hadn’t put up missing persons posters, hadn’t asked his friends or coworkers where he was…

For months, Harley had accepted his dad’s radio silence.

He had assumed the worst of him—that his father had abandoned him once more, had left him to drown his woes in alcohol.

But Harley was wrong.

SATURDAY, AUGUST 25 — 9:18 PM

It’s been a long night.

After getting Peter and Cassie to the hospital room, things went to chaos pretty quickly. The kids, confused and frightened, have spent the last couple hours curled up in the corner of the room and hugging each other.

And beyond this hospital room, the hospital is wholly silent. Everyone saw or heard what happened: two recently-kidnapped kids screaming each others’ names and crossing the entire hospital in order to reach each other. How one had woken himself out of unconsciousness from an ICU bed and crossed the entire building to get to her and protect her from a perceived threat.

“Peter,” Dr. Jackson tries to explain for the umpteenth time, squatting a few feet away from the kids, “we really need to get you back on your IV. I know it’s scary, but we’re just trying to keep you safe. Your body can’t take all this strain.”

Peter Parker scans the room again, his glassine eyes traveling over the people inside: the doctor in front of him, Tony leaning against the bed, Pepper hovering in the corner, a nurse lingering in the doorway. He’s still holding Cassie like a baby, his arms trembling from the strain. “Kid, you gotta trust me,” says Tony. “We’re trying to keep you and Cassie safe. Just let the doctor help you.”

His eyes linger on Tony’s face, gaze dragging over Tony’s tangled gray beard and gaunt face; Tony feels suddenly entirely conscious of what he looks like to the kid—an unshaven, unkempt shadow of his former self.

The thing is, Tony didn’t know what Peter’s life was like outside of that single hour onscreen each day. He didn’t know that he shared a room with a little girl (a ten-by-ten space barely big enough for an animal, like Steve told him), or what they fed him (a couple cans of beans or soup or fruit), or if they hurt him offscreen. He didn’t know who spoke to him or who… Or who… Who…

(God, he can’t go down this road again. Every time he keeps thinking about it, he finds himself in a near-faint flood of sick upset. He can’t think about it. He won’t think about it.)

Tony had no idea that this little girl was part of Peter’s life; vaguely, he knew that Charlie and his goons had kidnapped Scott Lang’s daughter, too—Lang being the man who filmed Peter each day—but he never once wondered what happened to her. His mind was always chock-full of too much else. He didn’t know that the little girl was in there with him. Or that Peter—as his self-sacrificial, stupidly brave self—would feel the need to protect her.

That was so Peter . To protect a kid like this. He always did sweet things like that before ( it, everything, when Tony’s world came crumbling down ) what happened: escorted kids to school if they were too scared, waited for parents to show up at the hospital, rescued their stuffed animals from burning buildings… Peter loved helping kids, and it seems that Cassie is no exception. And even when Peter’s so traumatized he can’t see straight—still, he’s there for Cassie. Deep in his subconscious, he knows that he has to protect her.

Dr. Jackson clears her throat. They’re standing by the foot of the hospital bed now, far enough from Peter and Cassie that they’ve started to relax, their breathing slowing. “One of the other doctors paged—said that giving Cassie some food helped calm her a little,” she says.

“I thought we weren’t supposed to…” starts Tony, thinking back to the day before.

The woman grimaces. “A little won’t hurt. Besides…” She takes a slow, sad glance to her patient. “...we’re running out of options here.”

Soon, a nurse brings back a couple trays of doctor-approved food for both children: a cup of lukewarm soup, a matching cup of water, a piece of soft white bread. The tray clinks as the doctor places it down, announcing it to both of them. “...okay?”

Neither of the kids move. In fact, they seem to both go stiff, the girl half-turning her head and freezing bodily once she sees the tray. The little bald girl, her head bandaged in white loops, whispers into Peter’s ear—the good one, not the burnt one. She speaks so quietly that Tony and the doctor share a confused look. Cassie’s whisper is barely more than a breath of air, and Peter’s grunts of response aren’t even words, just a hiss between his teeth or a slight nod.

Peter glances from Tony to the doctor and back again, the only movement in the jerky whites of his eyes. He breathes in rasped huffs; Cassie coughs, hacking up mucus into the crook of his shoulder, and the kid doesn’t even flinch. They look terrible.

The strain on his mind and body, Tony supposes, is too much—because then Peter sways, faint, sweat speckling over his pallid forehead.

“It’s okay,” Tony tries, strained, and he reaches his hand out again. Maybe the kid will take it. “It’s okay, Peter. We just want you to get better.”

With his other hand, he nudges the tray forward—

—and Peter’s entire face goes slack.

Tony’s not even sure he understands what’s going on, but Cassie—the little girl—seems to. She realizes it’s happening before it even registers in Tony’s mind. Peter’s knobby arms loosen from the girl, his wrists slackening and his neck sloping.

The small girl slips from Peter’s arms.

Tony backs the f*ck up. Meanwhile, Cassie scrabbles at Peter’s neck, yanking at his shoulders and arms, suddenly shouting for the first time since he’s met her: “No, Peter, don’t—no Peter no Peter please don’t leave me— don’t leave me, come back—come back Peter no no come back—”

Save the little girl, the hospital room is silent; all eyes are on Peter. The kid’s gone blank , his eyes taking on this dull, sleep quality. A layer of sweat comes over him—a sallow, wet gleam—and he lets go of Cassie.

Whatever consciousness that was present in Peter only seconds ago is now gone—Tony calls his name a couple times, as does the doctor, and he doesn’t even blink. “Peter. Peter.

Blank. Empty. Like whiteboard scrubbed clean with vinegar spray or the hollow of a carved pumpkin scraped to its stringy white walls.

The doctor and nurse move quickly—pushing Tony to the side in order to reach them both. Cassie fights tooth and nail against the thick-armed nurse, clawing rabidly at skin and cloth in her attempt to get away—all the while crying.

But Peter doesn’t move. The doctor manhandles him into the bed, pushing him down and promptly taking his vitals. “He’s okay,” Dr. Jackson says, as Peter lays supine on the sheeted hospital bed, his arms spread and startlingly limp. “Just…overwhelmed, I think.”

Peter still responds to some things: his eyes flick lightly at the sound of Cassie’s voice, but otherwise he’s lifeless. With him so docile, the doctors are able to re-insert his IV and get some a sedative into him; after a while, Peter falls into a gentle rest, evidence of the altercation only clear in the growing bruises on his side from when he fell on the stairs. He’s not quite asleep—but he blinks occasionally, stirred by the movement in the room.

“It’s not uncommon,” says Dr. Jackson, after switching his IV bag, “for victims of severe assaults to act like this.”

To just… leave their bodies? To disconnect so completely from the present that they can barely move?

“They find,” she continues, “that it’s easier than being present for the assault itself. The mind just…tucks itself away for a while.”

And this Peter—the one who is tucked away—doesn’t pull away when Tony offers up his hand. When Tony shifts his finger against the kid’s, Peter’s sleepy eyes fall upon him.

The kid looks so f*cking tired.

“You might want to go,” says Dr. Jackson, holding up a thin plastic tube. Tony’s barely familiar with medical devices—he knows what a nasogastric tube looks like—and knows she’s trying to warn him that inserting the tube might be unpleasant. “

The kid twitches his fingers suddenly against Tony’s wrist, moving slightly until finally Peter’s fingers loosely grip his wrist.

Tony’s not sure that the kid even knows what he’s doing—but the movement is clear. Stay.

“I’m here, buddy,” Tony says. “I’m not going anywhere.”

SATURDAY, AUGUST 25 — 11:10 PM

Flint Marko goes to Massachusetts first—to the military base holding the four soldiers.

It’s completely dark once he arrives, and most of the base is asleep.

He is Sandman, but sneaking into the base is still difficult. He has to leave his arsenal of weapons behind, clinging instead to a handful of potassium-cyanide pills that he seals in a tiny ziploc bag. Flint slips beneath the front door a few grains at a time, past dozens of his guards, his whole body morphing and melding to fit beneath the door-sill.

Reaching a door entitled HOLDING CELLS in the basem*nt, Flint sifts beneath the door, greeting a row of sleeping men in an array of cells, all dressed in nondescript, light-colored jumpsuits. Each has his own cell—attached to the other rooms by an array of steel jail-bars blocking them from entering the other men’s areas. There are four men in total, and all of them remain sleeping as he approaches, still in his sand form. Some have clearly been beaten—broken noses, black eyes, casted wrists—and sleep with hitched breaths, some even with arms curled around their chests: birds with broken wings.

Sifting himself through the barred door of the first cell, Flint reforms to his physical self one grain of sand at a time. Now standing in this room, he feels himself become flesh-and-blood again—it feels good , like spreading roots into the fertilized earth.

A pang of feeling in his chest as he watches the man sleep—he thinks of Penny, his little girl, stuck in her hospital bed. What would his sweet Penny say if she could see her father now: a minute away from slaughtering a man in his bed?

Flint does not know what this man has done to deserve his death—he doesn’t care.

He dissolves his hands into sandy clumps, and he presses them, hard, over the soldier’s body and mouth. The soldier awakes with a start; he attempts a shout, but Flint presses harder, filling his mouth with sand until the sound is fully muffled. Every thrash, every instinct this man has to run—it’s all blocked by Flint’s sand, which has hardened into near-stone around him. It pins down his arms, his hips, and his legs; the soldier is helpless. “Take it easy,” says Flint, a gruff whisper, “or I’ll kill you anyway.”

The man immediately stops moving.

“Now,” Flint continues quietly, still pressing his sand-hands over the soldier, “I’m gonna ask you a couple questions. You’re gonna blink twice for yes, once for no. And if I think you’re lying” —Flint’s good at that— “I’m gonna kill you. Understand me?” He takes a glance at the man’s nametag, and, finding nothing but a number, decides maybe it’s better not to remember them each by name. He’s memorized his script—so Flint begins. “Do you know the name of the man you work for?”

Flint can take a guess as to who employed him—some high-level government official, most likely, trying to cover up some misdeeds. That’s usually who he kills for.

The man blinks twice, squeezing his eyes shut with such deliberation that a tear squeezes out one corner on the second blink.

“Have you mentioned his name to anyone?”

The man glances briefly to the left—and then back at Flint—and he blinks once.

He’s lying. Stupid. “I told you not to lie to me,” he says, and Flint can feel the man’s warm heartbeat quicken beneath his hands. He moves quickly, some sand from his forearm popping open the ziploc bag and removing the potassium-cyanide tablet before crushing it and shoving the released powder down the man’s throat with a flood of sand.

The soldier chokes and gags—but nothing comes up.

It only takes him a minute to die.

The other three soldiers—like their buddy—go the same way. Liars, the lot of them. They die quickly and in their beds; Flint Marko supposes the corpses won’t be found until morning.

He leaves the military base the way he came, as sand flooding over the concrete floors. No one notices as he reforms outside the base, strolls to his parked car, and climbs inside.

Clean. And quiet. Four perfect kills. Each completion is twenty thousand dollars, so Flint has just made eighty thousand dollars more towards his daughter’s medical treatment.

His next few targets are in New Hampshire: nine unemployeds located at some local prison.

Flint turns on the radio as he drives out of Massachusetts; there’s lots of country music as he enters New Hampshire.

The drive to the prison is a couple hours long, and he spends most of it switching between the stations and trying to find something good. The the service starts to give out somewhere in the mountains, so he switches through channels until he gets to a news station—the only radio station that’s not a haze of static.

“... an off-duty police officer from New York City was found on the scene in full uniform. NYPD has yet to confirm the officer’s identity—apparently the damage to her face was so severe that the department was unable to make a positive ID on facial recognition alone.”

In New Hampshire? Flint doesn’t know much about the tiny state, but he’s never heard of such violent crimes like that one. Isn’t the state of New Hampshire full of senior citizens and tree-huggers? He turns up the volume as he speeds down the highway.

“... Paxton-Lang was reported missing on April 6th. She was taken from her home kitchen in Forest Hills and had not been seen since. According to sources at a nearby hospital, seven-year-old Cassandra has been reunited with her parents, finally found after almost five months…”

Paxton-Lang. Cassandra Paxton-Lang. That’s one of his targets.

Flint hasn’t done any in-depth research of his last two targets yet. Are they… children?

He’s never had a child as a target before. Teenagers, sure, but no one under fourteen.

Cassandra’s a popular name, right? It could be someone else. He tunes in to the radio then, turning up the volume again as he approaches his destination. It continues: “...a seventeen-year-old boy who remains unidentified, both found by enhanced enforcement and local police in an abandoned underground bunker in the White Mountains. Sources say the boy has ties to the Avengers, as just-released aerial footage caught recluse-CEO-Avenger Tony Stark holding the teenager after the rescue. Next up tonight: flu season is coming! Check with your local doctor for vaccination dates…”

Flint Marko ignores his suspicions and turns off the radio for the rest of his car ride. He doesn’t need to be thinking about his later targets when he has nine sitting inside of this local prison.

He parks his car a couple of miles away from the prison, dissolves himself into sand, and weaves through the trees as sand, silent.

Flint has people to kill.

SUNDAY, AUGUST 26 — 7:00 AM

Harley arrives at the morgue half-an-hour early.

He is let in by a grumpy janitor with a brownish string-mop and a wringer bucket filled with soapy water. He shoves open the door with the handle of his broom and ushers Harley inside, muttering when his muddy chelsea-boots track dirt on his just-mopped linoleum.

He sits in a waiting room and reads pamphlets on cremation while he waits, listless. He’s got on some jeans, a beige sweater, and an overcoat that used to belong to his dad. He tries not to think about that too much—the fact that his dad is lying cold somewhere in this building.

He has to fill out a couple forms—insurance, identification, blah, blah, blah—and he does it quickly. When he returns the clipboard to the woman at the front desk, her thin eyebrows shoot up a bit as she scans the form.

“You’re a minor,” says the secretary as she continues to read.

“Yep,” says Harley. “Seventeen.”

“Shouldn’t you be in school?” she asks.

“Graduated early,” he explains stiffly.

“Where’s your mom?”

“I’m…emancipated,” he says. “Legally.”

“But…” the woman starts.

Harley lets out a harsh sigh. “Look—I’m just trying to do this thing and get out of here. Can we cut it with the twenty questions? Whatever you need me to sign, I’ll sign it. Just let me see my dad.”

The secretary’s hard stare softens just a little. Her manicured fingers tap on the clipboard he just returned. She taps at the computer for a few seconds before she looks back to him through her cat-eye glasses. “You don’t want to wait for your mom? ”

They must’ve called her, too. Harley’s mom and dad never technically divorced—just separated after his dad’s alcoholism got bad enough. It would make sense that she still stood as his next of kin. “Like I said,” Harley says dryly, “I’m emancipated.”

The unspoken words are clear: no.

The secretary purses her lips and scuttles off with the clipboard in hand. She returns a few minutes later with a lab-coated woman—she’s pale with short dark hair, nearly black eyes, and a pair of purple glasses. She greets Harley with a soft smile, holding the clipboard from earlier.

The mortician brings him through the morgue and to a lone table, where a sheeted body lays completely flat. The thing is so still it can’t possibly be his father.

But there he is—white cloth draped over him, but Harley spots the bag of his clothes to the left. Those are his dad’s shoes: embarrassingly white, thick-soled sneakers. His necklace. His dirty black socks.

Harley’s face hardens.

“I do have to warn you,” says the mortician, fingers tapping against the clipboard, “your father was shot in the head at point-blank range. It left most of his face unidentifiable. That’s why we didn’t contact you right away.“

“Then how did you know?“

The woman winces. “Police were able to do some fingerprinting. Plus, we found these in his pockets.”

She pulls out a prescription pad zipped into a plastic bag labeled EVIDENCE. She passes the bag to him; her hands are cold when he takes it from her. Harley grasps it gingerly, only able to see the first page of the pad, where it reads, Dear Harley . If you’re reading this…

He swallows. “Oh,” he says, and his chest feels tight.

“And there’s five more just like it. He wrote dozens of them—all addressed to you. Dates back to May fourteenth of this year.”

Harley holds the bag carefully, like a baby, his fingers making imprints in the clear plastic folds.

“Can’t let you keep those, unfortunately—police need them for the investigation. But once they get scans of them, they’ll send it right to you.”

The mortician asks him several times if he’s alright; each time he answers with a rigid “yes.”

She takes the backpack and hands him a stack of papers: the autopsy report. “Usually, we have to wait for next of kin to do one, but” —the mortician clears her throat and pushes back a wave of her dark hair— “because of the manner of death… Autopsies are always required in the case of, um, homicide. And I just want you to know… Your father won’t look like himself. His death was extremely violent. But state law still requires next of kin to identify the body, so…”

He’s barely listening to her.

The report is almost thirty pages long; Harley flips through most of them, finding blank figures with drawn-on injuries. On the first page: The decedent sustained 24 gunshot wounds (GSWs) from nine-millimeter bullets. All entered the front side of the body, except GSW 1, which entered from the submandibular triangle…

Harley continues to skim the document. It details each gunshot wound’s location, severity, and fatality—as well as other sustained injuries and conditions. The decedent died early Friday morning. He had several nutritional imbalances. Samples of chest and femoral blood…

Forget it. He’s no scientist. He can barely understand most of the report, anyway. “Just show me,” he says. “Please.”

The mortician nods, and she pulls back the sheet slowly.

His face is completely mutilated. Unrecognizable. His body is riddled with holes. But that’s his dad’s hair. His blondish-gray beard. His freckled forearms. His beer belly. His tattoo of Harley’s birthday on his forearm.

Painful tears well in the back of Harley’s throat.

From beside him, the mortician clears her throat. “Is that your father? Leonard Skivorski?”

“Yeah,” says Harley, his voice cracking. “That’s him.”

“I don’t understand,” says Harley, as the mortician leads him out of the lab. “What happened to him? How’d he get so…”

The woman nods, lifting her chin to the other guys in the waiting room—ones Harley didn’t see earlier. “That’s what they’re here for.”

They’re two men, guys Harley has seen on television dozens of times before: Captain American and the Winter Soldier.

Or, Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes.

“Hey,” says Harley awkwardly, with a small wave of his hand.

SUNDAY, AUGUST 26 — 8:22 AM

It’s on the news.

It’s on the f*cking news.

Happy is on the Quinjet when the news breaks—he’d fallen asleep on one of the cots with his laptop on—news channel on. He’d been scouring local news last night for any mention of Peter, making sure they kept his name out of local mouths, but he’d been so tired…

And this morning, Happy sees it like a sickening punch; he feels the blood drain from his head as the reporter onscreen speaks, dressed in a red suit and gripping a microphone in front of a local prison. “..of the thirteen arrested on Mount Cabot—all suspected as part of the group who kidnapped the missing Cassie Paxton-Lang was found a couple nights ago—six of the thirteen have been found dead in their jail cells. Four of the suspects were soldiers currently on leave; and late last night, while in solitary confinement at a Massachusetts military base, all four took their own lives. They were found just this morning. Another two suspects, both held at a local jail—were also found dead this morning, apparently having taken their own lives as well. The suspects’ names have yet to be released to the public—although one has been identified as New York police officer’s brother— Charles Keene.

“As of right now, the rest of Keene’s thirteen accomplices are currently on suicide watch and being moved to anonymous holding locations in case of any foul play. No word still on the victims. Up next: back-to-school shopping…”

Happy rushes in to the hospital with his phone in one hand and his taser in the other.

He tracks down Pepper and Tony, who are sitting in the hospital cafeteria; she’s trying to coax a dejected Tony into eating some lasagna with a plastic fork.

“We gotta go,” he says, and they both look up.

“What?” they say simultaneously.

“I said we gotta go, ” he repeats, this time with much more emphasis. He grabs Pepper by the arm, and Tony drops his fork. Neither of them seem to grasp the gravity of the situation, so he grabs Tony, too, yanking him up from the cafeteria chair. “It’s all over the news—Peter’s in danger.”

They barely have time to ask questions before he’s lugging them both towards the exit. “What—what happened?” asks Tony, still struggling to keep up with his twitching limbs. He seems calmer now—he must have gotten a good amount of rest at Peter’s bedside.

“Six of those goons killed themselves last night,” Happy announces as they storm through the cafeteria’s double doors. He doesn’t fail to put air quotes around ‘ killed themselves .’ “Six. They found them all this morning—and four of them were being held at a goddamn military base. We gotta get Peter out of here. And the girl, too.” They’re at the elevator now, and Pepper’s spamming buttons into her phone again—probably telling the other Avengers to meet them at the Quinjet. “f*ck—which floor are they on?”

Tony slams the button for the fourth floor; his hand doesn’t shake.

The elevator doors close too slowly, and Happy taps the butt of his phone against his leg, itching to get to the kid. “Goddamn it—goddamn it—we’ve gotta get them to the Tower. If someone’s going after the witnesses, then they’re gonna go after the kids. f*ck—f*ck— they could already be here—

Pepper doesn’t look up from her phone, texting so fast that her fingers blur. Her face is drawn into a tense frown. “All the security measures should be in place at the Tower. If we get them there in time, they’ll be sa—” The elevator doors open with a ding! and the three of them rush out so fast that the doors don’t have time to slide open the full way.

Happy, Pepper, and Tony get to Peter’s room in seconds; inside, a couple of nurses tend to Peter while the little girl and her mother sit at the foot of his bed, hugging each other while the mother attempts to console her. “Mr. and Mrs. Paxton?” calls out Pepper, who has now stashed her phone in her pocket. “You all need to come with us.”

“What?”

“Your daughter is in danger. We have someplace safe to go—I assure you, you will all be safe there. But you need to come with us. Now”

The blonde mother—Mrs. Paxton—gathers up her crying daughter and quickly follows Pepper outside. The Quinjet’s still parked on the rooftop, so she will bring them straight there.

Happy shoves aside one of the nurses to grab Peter—both nurses start to protest and call out for help—so he pushes them both into the wall while Tony grabs the kid, pulling tubes and wires from him as beeping fills the room.

One nurse cries, "He's not stable! Wait—he's not stable!" but Happy ignores him—they've got some medical stuff on the Quinjet. They don't have a chioce. Better that then letting something happen to the kid on some sh*t doctor's watch.

The kid’s unconscious, just like the first time Tony did this. The billionaire wraps the hospital sheets around the kid, scoops his arms up below the knees and back, and he lifts Peter up bridal-style, as gentle and fast as he possibly can. His legs struggle under the weight, so Tony activates his Iron Man gauntlets, allowing the metal braces to slide down over his arms and elbows to assist him.

Happy is surprised to find that the run-ragged Tony Stark is fast while carrying Peter, staggering quickly after Happy while holding the sheeted bundle of a kid, racing down the hospital hallways as they escape to the Quinjet.

After another strained elevator ride, they’re at the rooftop, chased by medical personnel and some hoarse doctor yelling, “Security! Security!”

But they’ve got the kids. Both of them. If they stay here, they're sitting ducks. Happy has to take them all back to New York.

Natasha wasright.This situation is far too complex for a couple of drug addicts to come up with. Someone else is in control of this whole operation. Someone with money. Someone with power. Someone who could trap the genius Tony Stark in his lab. Someone who could kidnap an enhanced super-kid. Someone who could hack into f*cking JARVIS. Someone who could afford to slaughter six people in their jail cells and make it look like a suicide.

Someone is behind all of this.

It doesn't matter—because Happy’s gonna get everyone out of here and safe.

And back to the Tower—where they belong.

Notes:

plz be aware that i might not post again until the new year! christmas is crazy and we've got a ton of family coming so - maybe a tiny christmas chapter next week? like a flashback? that'd be kinda fun, right?

again so sorry for the wait! i love all of u and plz be patient with me

and again if u see any typos lemme k bc i wrote this sh*t fast and messy and didn't have time to double check!

+ happy holidays everybody, i know it can be a hard time for some ppl so make sure u take care of urselves and read a healthy dose of fanfic

peace

Chapter 26: three clicks and i'm home

Summary:

Whenever Tony's mind goes slack, that sleep-starved, mind-numbing lax, he finds himself calculating again—chemistry, mechanical engineering, weapons design.

He can’t help it.

Even when Peter’s sitting right in front of him, he’s still trying to find a way to rescue him.

Notes:

i know i said i wouldn't post till the new year but lol i can't leave u guys hanging. it's the holiday season so here u go, early christmas gift, it's not my best work for sure but i'm glad to put it out there.

hope you all are safe and happy and remember that you're doing a great job. i love u guys so much

chap title is from 'i know the end' by phoebe bridgers

CW: some medical stuff, references to torture/violence

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

SUNDAY, AUGUST 26 — 8:44 AM

Harley is still in a bit of shock from seeing his father in a morgue; on top of that, having two famous supersoldiers meet him in the waiting room… He finds himself in a blue-tinged haze of shock.

It’s quite a day.

Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes have Harley sign a couple forms—one a heavy-duty NDA, the other something he doesn’t recognize—and then the two sit across from him in a well-furnished sitting room across from the original space. Neither Captain America nor the Winter Soldier looks the way they appear on television. They’re dressed in civilian clothing—sweatshirts and loose-fitting jeans—hair shaggy and unkempt. Steve Rogers is a bit tame, not at all the bold and brazen hero he’s so used to seeing; the supersoldier doesn’t speak much, instead looking to the dark-eyed Winter Soldier to lead the conversation.

“I’m sorry about your father,” says the Winter Soldier, crossing his black-clothes arms. The man shoves a wave of oily hair back from his face and sniffs quietly.

If this was any other time, Harley would be starstruck. But his father was just murdered. “Did you do it?” he asks, ignoring the supersoldier’s apology. “What happened, you use my dad as a human shield?”

The man’s eyes darken. “No,” he says, curt. He explains, in a gravelly low voice, some recent news story Harley barely remembers hearing about: a couple of missing kids found up in some New Hampshire mountains. Drug trafficking or something like that. “Your father,” he explains, “was held captive by the same people who kidnapped those kids.”

Harley blinks. “You’re saying he was kidnapped?”

Steve Rogers nods. Harley notices then, for the first time, that Steve Rogers is wounded. His face is mottled with old bruising, and his arm is in a cast, his sweatshirt rolled up around his elbow to reveal it—the blocky white cast goes all the way over his thumb.

Harley’s never seen Captain America injured before, not even on TV.

“And the people who kidnapped him… They did this?”

Bucky Barnes nods, too, and his shaggy hair moves slightly with his head.

“He died,” adds Captain America, looking weary, “trying to save the kids.”

They try to explain more of what happened to Harley—talking about some enhanced teenager who was taken as ransom, about another group of drug addicts who were found inside—but Harley doesn’t understand most of it. He’s still hung up on the fact that his father died doing something good. “Was it fast?” he asks quietly.

Barnes’ mouth forms a taut grimace; his nostrils flare. “He was shot in the leg first,” the supersoldier says, his chin dipped low. “And then the head. The bullet was at such close range that it essentially shattered part of the skull and sent a shockwave through the brain—destroying his brain matter faster than it could’ve sent any pain signals to the rest of his body. So… he probably didn’t feel a thing.” He reaches forward then, and he pats Harley’s elbow lightly. “As it goes, it’s a pretty good way to die.”

Harley snatches his arm back.

It’s not long before Captain America’s smartphone is buzzing; the vibration moves it slightly over the oak table. He picks it up and, frowning at the name, presses it to his yellow-bruised ear before it can reach the third ring. The voice is loud and clear, despite being over the phone. “Get over here now. Now, you hear me?”

Bucky Barnes has gone rigid beside him, eyes trained on his blond companion. The voice continues, “We’re taking the kids back to New York pronto. Meet us on the roof of your building in thirty seconds, do you understand me?”

Glancing momentarily at Harley, Steve Rogers stands up and speaks fast into the phone. “Happy, we’re at the morgue with a kid—the doc’s son—”

Loud and frantic arguing on the other end, and then a light double-beep as the man on the other line hangs up. Captain America looks up then, blue-eyed and hard-faced, and he says, “We gotta go.”

Bucky grunts, “What happened?”

Steve Rogers stares at his phone. “The suspects—the—the guys from the bunker… They’re dead.”

Bucky blinks; Harley still has no idea what’s going on, but then they’re up and moving, the Winter Soldier lugging Harley forth by his upper arm and shoving him up a back-flight of stairs. “How many?” the Soldier asks, shoving Harley forward again even as he protests.

Bucky Barnes has a handgun in his palm now, pulled out of the waistband of his pants—how the hell did he get a gun in here? He aims it near the window, then the other window—and then closes the curtains with a violent yank.

“Six,” Steve says, swallowing. They’ve reached the roof now, and Harley keeps trying to interrupt with What’s going on? and Let go of me! and running for the stairs but the Winter Soldier grabs him firmly by the arm, stopping him. “They found them earlier today—across two states. Killed themselves in their cells last night. Potassium-cyanide pills.”

The Winter Soldier’s nostrils flare again; there’s the faintest trace of dark makeup in the creases of his eyes and nose. “Goddamn it.”

“There’s seven left, all being moved across the state to keep them all alive—protective custody.” Steve shakes his head, his eyes still half-wide from shock. “It’s HYDRA, it’s gotta be—”

“It's not HYDRA ,” asserts Bucky and, when the other man shrinks at his tone, lowers his voice a few decibels. “I told you it’s not.”

“Hey!” shouts Harley, his arm still caught in the Winter Soldier’s vibranium fist. “What the hell is going on?”

The two supersoldiers look at him, surprised, as though they forgot he was there entirely. And, before either of them can begin to explain, a gray mass appears in the horizon—above ranges of trees and mountains— the Quinjet .

The jet is so loud that the world becomes a whirlpool of rumbling sound; Bucky grabs the kid and drags him backwards as the Quinjet nears, reaching them so quickly that a rush of smoky wind shoves them back a few steps, blasting all their clothing tight to their bodies. It hovers over them and lands neatly in the center of the roof; the ramp lowering to reveal several armed Avengers. “Get in,” says the red-haired Black Widow, nodding at them both.

A fist grasping his collar—like a mother cat biting her kitten’s neck—and the Winter Soldier tosses Harley onto the Quinjet.

SUNDAY, AUGUST 26 — 8:58 AM

The doctor’s kid tucks his hands into armpits as soon as he’s inside the plane. The Quinjet’s gangplank shuts behind them with a thunk , and “Who’s this?” asks Happy, waving tersely at the boy.

“Doctor’s son,” says Bucky, as Steve lingers next to him. “At the morgue with us when the news broke. Thought he might be a target, too.”

Happy just nods and pushes him inside as the jet rises from the rooftop. The kid—Harley Keener—looks around the jet, blinking, hands deep in the pockets of his too-big overcoat. Rhodey guides him to a seat in the wall and points out the seatbelt for him—which the kid quickly clicks and then tucks his hands back into his pockets, yanking out his phone and thumbing in his password.

“Nope!” Nat snatches up the phone before he can do anything, whips out her gun, and fires into it twice. Cracks spiderweb over the phone-glass, and she tosses it back it into the jet’s mini-bathroom with one angled throw. It must hit the toilet, because then there’s a sharp flushing sound followed by silence. “Pepper’ll get you a new one—something encrypted. Sorry, Зайчик.”

Harley opens his mouth as though to protest and then shuts it, folding his arms and observing the room in a squinty, teen fashion.

Around the room: Harley buckled into his seat next to a cautious Rhodey, Clint and Nat huddled together arguing, Happy pacing, Sam Wilson flying the plane, Pepper on the phone as she stares wistfully at Tony, and finally Tony cradling a hospital-gowned Peter Parker—the kid wrapped in white sheets like a swaddled baby—and patting his back in gentle touches while Banner velcros a blood pressure cuff around the kid’s emaciated arm. And in the other corner, quiet and buckled into their seats at the wall of the Quinjet, is the Paxton-Lang family: the mother holding little Cassie—her shaved head now thickly bandaged—and the stepfather sitting beside them.

Bucky puts his hand on Steve’s back and guides him to a seat, too. Steve’s been so quiet since the bunker—always staring emptily at walls and folding his arms in front of his chest. But now he clasps Bucky’s hand as they sit side-by-side, buckled into the jet seats.

At a velocity of just under the speed of sound, the jet ride should only take twenty minutes; but barely twenty seconds in, the Avengers are already arguing about who should stay and who should hunt down the suspect-killer.

“I’m going after him,” says Rhodey, his War Machine suit clasping around him. “I know the laws—and the rest of you would probably kill the man as soon as you saw him.”

Nat snarls, pointing with one black-gloved hand, “Your government-affiliated ass would let him go as soon as you were told to, Nuremberg!”

They’re all saying things they don’t mean—muted shouting in their attempts not to frighten the kid. Bucky can barely hear Tony whisper to the kid as he’s stroking his dark, matted hair.

Rhodey snaps back, “I’m going to do what’s in Peter’s best interest!” His gestures are blocky and mechanical inside the suit, but his faceplate is up. “And that doesn’t mean leaving a trail of dead bodies in his wake, Romanoff! There’s been enough—”

“So if it came down to it—you’d… what? Leave the kid in danger just to save a life?”

“I never said that—”

“Look at him, Rhodes!” adds Clint, the purple-suited man turning on a dime. His black leather armguards only accentuate his point as he gestures at the haggard spider-kid in Tony’s arms. “Look at him! These people ripped this kid to f*cking shreds and now you’re deciding to grow a conscience?”

“I KNOW WHAT HE LOOKS LIKE!” Rhodes shouts, and, when Peter stirs, whimpering in his sleep at the sound, he lowers his voice. “I know what he looks like. I’m just trying to make sure no one else comes after him for anything else!”

It goes on like this as the jet flies through New Hampshire, until finally Steve suggests going after the guy, which Bucky shuts down in a heartbeat. “Stevie,” he says firmly, warning.

Steve’s got a hand on the back of his neck, his torso bowed slightly in his seat; his seatbelt strains. “I’m fine,” he says gruffly. There are dark lines there—on the back of his neck—like the remnants of super-healed scratches; Steve shifts his fingers over them, clamping down, as though he can feel Bucky’s gaze on his neck. It takes Bucky a moment to remember where they came from; he feels sick when he remembers. “I can do it.”

Nat’s eyes train on him, and the red-haired widow looks suddenly much taller than she is. “Not in your condition, Rogers, not on your life—”

Beside him, his Steve shifts, raising his shoulders a bit, trying to make himself look bigger than he is. It’s a trick Bucky remembers from when Steve was a kid—always trying to make himself a bigger target, a bigger threat. It never worked then; it never works now. “I said I’m fine, ” he insists, but his whole body suggests otherwise, as he’s still crouched down as though trying to protect his body from further damage. “I’ve fought in worse conditions than this, Nat,” he adds, but he doesn’t fight her too hard on it.

The only people—other than Nat—who know about what happened to Steve are Bucky, Tony, and Peter Parker, and herself. The rest of the Avengers only knew he’d gone missing for a day; they didn’t know the specifics. The injuries are enough, though, for them to put Steve on the bench.

“Look,” says Happy, and where the f*ck did he come from? “If Barnes is going, we need someone enhanced to stay with Tony and the kid—to be there in case something happens at the Tower. The witness-killer could be enhanced.”

Dr. Banner glances up from where he’s working on the unconscious spider-teen. “What the hell am I, Hogan? Chopped liver?”

Nat scoffs. “No offense, Bruce, but you’re not exactly a consistent playing card!”

The doctor stands, snapping off his rubber gloves. “Oh, come on—I haven’t had an incident in months —”

Hogan again, stepping up to stand before the shaggy-haired doctor and pointing accusingly at him. “You’re a loose cannon, Banner—we need someone we can trust! I’m not putting the kid in that kind of danger!”

“Danger? Danger?” Clint echoes, slapping Happy Hogan’s hand away from Dr. Banner and jabbing his finger into the larger man’s chest. “Aren’t you Director of f*cking Security? Why didn’t you know about this? Why didn’t you do something?”

“I didn’t know!” Hogan yells, shoving Hawkeye backwards and into the closed ramp-door. “I didn’t f*cking know!”

The jet’s flying at around seven hundred miles per hour now, as fast as they could possibly go without causing more injury to the kids’ fragile forms. Across the room, the doctor’s kid—Harley Keener—is glancing worriedly from one Avenger to the other, silent but taking in the entire scene, his hands gripping the buckles of his seat’s harness.

Hawkeye throws a punch at Hogan—then Hogan at Hawkeye, who’s blocked by Natasha; she takes his momentum and twists his arm, sending him sliding across the jet floor in his loafers. Then they’re all hitting each other—Nat takes several pummels to the face and Happy takes even more punches in return, and eventually Clint grabs his carbon-fiber bow, winds up, and thwacks Happy’s head so hard that he staggers backwards and collapses on his ass.

“Forget it!” grumbles Bucky, interrupting as Happy struggles to his feet. He shoves the three apart, glaring at them with a withering stare. “Nat and me will find the f*cker.”

Happy looks up at him, startled; Natasha just purses her lips.

“I was gonna pay one of them a visit anyway,” he says darkly; Steve glances up sharply at his tone, but Bucky doesn’t care. “And Rhodes—sorry, but this sh*t needs to get done now . Nat and I’ve got a better chance of finding the guy our way than yours." If anyone can make sure this guy doesn’t come after Peter and the others—it’s the former assassins. "Just stay with Tony and the kid.”

Rhodey nods, stepping out of the suit. “Fine,” he says.

Natasha lifts her chin. Her red hair is braided back into twin dutch braids; not a hair is out of place, even with all of the fighting. “Sounds good to me,” she says. Clint, of course, agrees to tag along. Those two are a f*cking matching set—they rarely come without the other.

Somehow, Bucky’s surety seems to temper any arguments, so they agree to let those three go after the witness-killer: Bucky, Clint, and Nat.

Before they go, Bucky says goodbye to Steve—he’s voted to stay behind as a functional bodyguard for the kids. Bucky grips him by the face full-handedly, thumbs over his cheeks, the rest of his fingers along his jaw and the neck. Most of the bruising has gone down thanks to Steve’s super-healing—all that’s left is faded greens and yellows as any sign of what happened to him. “Don’t do anything stupid until I get back,” says Bucky, stealing Steve’s usual saying.

Bucky wants him to say it back. He needs him to say it back: How can I? You’re taking all the stupid with you.

But Steve just gives a weary nod, and just tilts his head against Bucky's chest and sighs.

Bucky kisses him again, and then again, and Steve grips the back of Bucky's neck like he’s going off to war. “I'll be back tomorrow,” he says. “I love you.”

Steve’s brow draws together. “Love you, too.”

Pressing a couple buttons at the pilot’s station, Sam Wilson lowers the Quinjet’s gangplank while they’re still midair; the rush of cold high-altitude air makes everyone back away from the still-extending ramp.

Bucky steps away from Steve and takes one last look at the plane: Tony cradling Peter in the corner, Banner squatting once more beside the pair as he checks the kid’s vitals, Rhodey and Pepper talking insistently in the other, Sam Wilson in the pilot’s seat alongside a co-piloted Happy, the Paxton family huddled together in their seats with their sleeping child, and red-haired Natasha strapping a parachute rig to her back and buckling it across her chest.

(After all this time, it’s still instinct for Bucky to grab a parachute, too, even though the Winter Soldier can readily endure a fall from that height.)

And then there’s Steve, who’s still looking at him with those guilty-f*cking-eyes; his cheek hollows where he gnaws at its inside, and the butterfly stitches at his forehead strain with the tensity of his grimace.

Pulling a wired pin at his belt, Clint Barton’s supersuit extends with a hissing pop: a ripstop-nylon wingsuit unfolding from his usual Hawkeye suit. With a bodily twist, Natasha Romanoff jumps off the gangplank with her parachute-rig buckled in tight. Clint follows suit a few seconds thereafter in his Hawkeye-styled wingsuit, diving off the ramp headfirst; the Soldier jumps without either, and he feels the heavy-handed drag of air across his whole body, knowing that he will hit the ground with a force that should flatten any man but will only strain Bucky’s knees.

Somehow, he’s not the least bit worried about the impact.

Bucky’s got his mind on something—someone—far more significant.

Quentin Beck.

SUNDAY, AUGUST 26 — 9:12 AM

Tony Stark is old.

He is almost fifty years old.

(He turned forty-eight back in July, and he spent the entire day working on one f*cking screw in Peter’s weapon. Dum-E and U tried to throw him a birthday party by making confetti out of torn strips of post-it notes. He’d screamed at them until his throat went raw and then returned to his work. Tony spent that evening watching Charlie pull out Peter’s raw-bitten fingernails with a pair of pliers.)

And in the grand scheme of time and age and everything else—he’s really not that old. He could live another fifty years if the universe permitted it.

But in these past four months, he’s lived much more. Every day was a year; every second was an hour. Every moment that he spent without Peter carved another wrinkle into his skin. Every hour that he was forced to watch Peter tortured— was like a carved gash in the damp recesses of his brain.

He’s old.

Tony’s old and he’s tired and he wants to spend the rest of his life caring for this kid.

He cradles the kid, smoothing a hand over his check. On an average day, Peter’s healing would’ve wiped him clean of bruising overnight. But these bruises—they’ve probably lasted days on him. Remnants: a fist on his cheek, a palm on his stomach, a boot to his back.

Imprints of people who hurt his kid while he watched.

Beside him, Banner tries to get an IV into Peter’s arm and, finding no viable veins, gets one on the back of his thin hand. He straps a cuff around the kid’s arm—the kid’s arm is so small that the polyester wraps around twice before hitting velcro.

Having him back is like a dream.

The kid wakes sometime during the Quinjet ride, eyes cracking open at the sound of Tony’s voice before fluttering closed again. Tony spends the rest of the ride holding Peter. Cradling him. Telling him that he’s safe.

But whenever his mind goes slack, that sleep-starved, mind-numbing lax, he finds himself calculating again—chemistry, mechanical engineering, weapons design.

He can’t help it.

Even when Peter’s sitting right in front of him, he’s still trying to find a way to rescue him.

He knows tales of people like this—people who lived in such horror in captivity that they couldn’t adjust back to normal life afterward. but Peter—Peter wasn’t gonna be one of those people, right? Peter was smart—smarter than any kid he’s ever met. He was gonna come to his senses. He was going to. He had to.

The thing is, Tony didn’t rescue him. Pepper rescued him.

After all this time, Tony failed his kid.

Whenever he closes his eyes, he sees Peter in that chair. His precious kid—bleeding and bruised and crying out for him. Screaming for him.

And eventually… Just giving up. So lost in a haze of pain and terror that he rarely spoke at all.

To watch his kid morph from that happy-go-lucky whirlwind of a teenager to this… Charlie should’ve killed Tony. That would’ve been easier to bear.

Tony doesn’t have enough energy for rage or revenge. He’s spent so long at that peak of anxiety that now… Now, he’s just tired. Old and tired.

At some point as they enter the state of New York, that little bald girl wakes up. And, unable to recognize where she is and wretchedly bewildered as to what’s going on, she starts thrashing, scratching at her mother’s face and screaming for Peter. Banner injects her with a quick and light sedative, and she rests in her mother’s arms as her thrashing slows, remnants of her nail attacks still bleeding on Mrs. Paxton’s face.

The mother looks at Tony then as she holds her now-sedated daughter to her chest, the girl’s bruised cheek resting on her shoulder—from all the way across the Quinjet.

And they're both doing the same thing—just holding their kids.

It's such a f*cking privilege. To be able to holdhis kid. To touch him. To feel the warmth, thealiveof his body. The low thrum of his heartbeat through the skin of his neck.

They truly do mirror each other: two exhausted parents cradling their just-returned children.

SUNDAY, AUGUST 26 — 9:19 AM

Pepper Potts stays seated as the Quinjet lands carefully onto the Tower rooftop.

There’s a Stark medical team waiting there, and a pair of stretchers: one regular, one child-sized. As soon as Tony gets the kid into the stretcher, though, his legs give out from beneath him.

His eyes flutter—the whites and the darks of his eyes—and he tilts back, knees bowing, head tilting back, and he collapses backwards into Rhodey, who catches him with surprised ease.

Pepper doesn’t move towards him.

She just watches as someone brings out another stretcher, piles her ex-fiancé onto it, and carts him away. One of the nurses approaches her and, with a slight touch of her back, offers to take her to a hospital bed. “That’d be nice,” she hears herself say. She knows the kids will be safe and Dr. Cho’s hands—so the woman escorts her away.

The nurse gives her an ultrasound and confirms that her baby—even through all of the stress, her baby is okay. “You still don’t want to know the sex, Ms. Potts?” asks the nurse, wiping away the goo from her extended belly.

Pepper shakes her head.

The nurse nods, tosses the wipe, and washes her hands at the nearby sink. “Is there anything else you need?”

Pepper doesn’t know how to begin answering that question. “No,” she says, pulling her maternity blouse down over her stomach. “I’m okay.”

After her checkup, Dr. Cho gives her periodic updates on the patients—Peter, Cassie, and Tony—over text. Peter is stable. Cassie is awake. Tony is sleeping.

She feels.

Of course she feels.

But it’s too much all at once. Freeing Tony, getting Peter back, running from some witness-killing maniac.

And all the while, she has a little piece of Tony inside her. She has spent countless days hating him, fearing him, loving him—and now he’s here, like a dream injected with warmth.

f*ck it. She’s never been one to think too much about her feelings—never got much out of therapy except an hour of peace and quiet.

So instead of moping or crying or sitting on her ass, Pepper does what she can do.

She fixes things.

Pepper gives statements to reporters, staves off hawkish paparazzi, speaks to the police about what happened—as much as she knows—and postpones their interrogations as long as she can. She talks to a few possible lawyers—ones who could help keep the bastards in prison without bail—and then to police officers at their respective jails, all of whom reassure her that nothing drastic will happen until the following day.

“Judge doesn’t work weekends,” says one officer. “So you’ve got another day at least, till the first hearing.” She contacts another lawyer—some guy at Nelson and Murdock who Clint Barton suggested for enhanced criminal cases—and sets up a meeting with him. She writes email after email to each New Hampshire jail to plea for criminal protective orders for Peter and the others, as well as no-bail pleas for the offenders. It’s a lot—but it has to be done. She contacts pediatric psychiatrists and pediatric surgeons and enhanced doctors she’s never met before—all so Peter and Cassie can get the best medical help possible.

She works. And works . And works.

Pepper checks on the suspects (still six dead, seven alive) and their locations. None of them have broken out and come for them. None of them are going anywhere.

The news is still the same: MISSING CHILDREN FOUND ALIVE IN NEW HAMPSHIRE. FAMILIES REUNITED WITH THEIR CHILDREN. The news reporters didn’t know that Peter’s only living relative couldn’t even get out of bed—that Peter hadn’t seen her since his rescue two days prior.

Pepper keeps the general public in the dark about what truly happened inside of that bunker. There’s some drone-taken photo floating around of Tony staggering out of the Quinjet and holding Peter’s prone body—looking so much like Michelangelo’s Pietà that even the news reporters drew the comparison. She tries to wipe the Internet of any copies she could find—but it has gone so far that it’s impossible to strip from the public.

She even gets that doctor's kid a temporary room to stay in—ensures he has food and water and some Internet access—as well as a new phone so he can contact his parents (parent, she has to correct herself when she speaks to him). He shrugs and mumbles something about being emancipated when she asks, and then fumbles through his backpack absentmindedly.

Poor kid.

And after about an hour of work, she returns to the Tower’s Medbay; their hospital rooms are in a neat row: room one for Tony, room two for Peter, room three for Cassie. Down the hall (in room eight) is his Aunt May's hospital room, where she currently lies unconscious and unaware of her nephew's presence. Whenever she wakes up, Pepper will be the first to tell her.

Pepper Potts drifts from one room to the next, checking on each of them as she can. Dr. Cho explains and re-explains every medical decision she’s making, mostly just stabilizing the children, feeding them over IV, and monitoring their labs. “Give it to me straight, Helen,” she says. “Don’t sugarcoat it—how is he?”

Dr. Helen Cho grimaces. “Not good. They sent over his chart from the New Hampshire hospital—we’re focusing on his refeeding syndrome now, trying to keep his calories low and in control. We’re not going to worry about his leg or his head until we’ve got that in check.”

Pepper runs her hand over her belly.

Helen winces. “Pepper, I have to say… This kid should probably be dead. I honestly don’t know how he’s still alive—after all of this damage, and in his condition…. It’s remarkable he’s breathing on his own, let alone talking. ” She shakes her head. “I’m not sure exactly what his mutation did to him, but… This kid’s a walking miracle.”

SUNDAY, AUGUST 26 — 10:35 AM

Deborah works at the police station most weekends.

She’s an ordinary person with an ordinary job. She has a husband and two kids, reads romance novels in her free time, and has a scar through her eyebrow from when she fell off her bike as a kid. She’s ordinary.

She spends the morning going through old paper files and computizing them, typing them into the sh*tty prison computer system. It’s busywork, and Deborah listens to music as she does it, her frizzy hair tied back in a braid.

She lives in New Hampshire, for f*ck’s sake. Nothing ever happens in New Hampshire.

But halfway through her Sunday morning shift, when she turns around to get back to the front desk, the Winter Soldier is standing a couple feet away from her, dressed in full uniform: black eye makeup, mask over his nose and mouth, strapped-leather vest, leather sleeve, black military pants, knee pads, double-clasped belt, combat boots. There’s a messy star carved into his carbon-fiber arm, as though with a kitchen knife or a fingernail.

And he’s glaring at her with such dark sobriety that she jumps, letting out a small scream before she claps her hand over her mouth.

Deborah didn’t even hear the door open.

Her first thought, strangely, is: The Winter Soldier doesn’t usually go out in the daylight.

But today—he does.

She’s never seen the Winter Soldier in real life—only on television, dragging some super-criminal to prison or appearing hollow-eyed bedside Captain America for a news interview. Honest to God—the man scares the ever-living sh*t out of her. He doesn’t move at all, his muscle-wired body rooted to the floor, but the supersoldier’s eyes continue to follow her as she backs away from him. “Jesus Christ —you scared me, man.”

The Winter Soldier is eerily silent, his cold blue eyes following her still; he stands alone in his gear, gripping a semi-automatic rifle in one hand like it’s a cell phone.

“You’re, um.” She swallows. Her voice doesn’t seem to be working properly. “You’re a good guy now, right?”

The Soldier doesn’t say a word. He just stands there in his gear, looking more and more out of place as the seconds pass. His eyes flick behind her at the sound of a man yelling—some of the guys in the overnight holding cells must be getting riled up.

“You here for one of them?”

A short nod of his masked chin.

“Who?”

A stretch of pained silence. His gaze shifts again to the cells behind her. Then Winter Soldier speaks, deliberate, his voice so gravelly that it’s like his vocal cords have been dipped in tar: “Quentin Beck.”

Deborah feels the tension go out of her shoulders. “Oh,” she says, relaxing. She knows the man—Beck—because he arrived early this morning with a few other criminals on account of ‘witness protection.’ She’s not sure of the whole story, and honestly she doesn’t care. “Go for it.”

The Winter Soldier doesn’t blink.

She’s been listening to the guy half the morning—bragging to all the other guys in holding about how he f*cked some kidnapped teenager. “Heard about what he did.” One of the earlier guards had to put him in solitary because he kept f*cking talking about it. Most the other people in here were drunk-and-disorderlys, not murderers or rapists or abusers—but this guy? From what she’s heard so far, Quentin Beck is all three rolled into one sh*tty ball. What a f*cking creep. “Can’t take the gun inside, though,” she says. “I'd lose my job.”

He places the semi-automatic deliberately on the counter. His arm whines as it moves, the scrape of metal and wire. It’s the only sound now in this mostly-empty jail.

“Any other weapons?”

The man’s face tightens. He peels a strap of throwing knives from his thigh, a larger blade tied at his calf, two handguns belted to each hip.

“Follow me,” she says once he’s done, scooting from behind the counter.

She takes him through the back, past a couple dozen holding cells, most of them empty. “He’s in a cell alone—had to put him in solitary ‘cause the other guys kept threatening to kill him.” Her face sours.

At last, they reach the door at the end of the hallway. There’s a small barred window in its center, and a person is visible inside: the brown-haired guy. Quentin Beck.

“Hey,” Deborah says, grabbing the Winter Soldier’s arm. It feels like a sh*tty idea as she does it, so she quickly draws her hand back from the muscled man, resting her hands on her belt instead. “Look—don’t kill him, alright?”

The Winter Soldier looks down at her, eyes dark, the emotion there so muddled it’s practically hieroglyphic. He moves his chin down a smidge as though to say: fine.

That’s good enough for her.

Deborah unlocks the door with her keys; surprisingly, she doesn’t feel scared. “You’ve got thirty minutes till my shift ends.” Reattaching her keys to her belt, she nods to the guy. “Just…make him pay.”

Then she leaves, the keys jangling at her belt.

Notes:

thanks for reading, merry christmas!

this chap is a bit more functional than usual, so sorry about that, after this everything's gonna get less choppy i think

plz lemme k about typos cuz i do not wanna look stupid but also don't want to grammar check my work lol cuz i'm lazy

special shoutout to ratherthepoint for explaining so much medical stuff, imma have to start calling u dr. cho cuz she will be quoting u for the next couple chapters babe

Chapter 27: you barely are blinking

Summary:

It takes a few moments, but soon Tony comes back to himself, looking more tired than ever, hunched over the hospital bed. “He’s safe,” Tony says now, grinding his knuckles into his eyes. “Right? Right?”

“Yes,” Pepper says, sitting on the hospital bed beside him.

“We got him out. You—you got him out.”

“Yes, honey, yes,” Pepper answers, and the honey slips out with such ease that she immediately clamps her mouth shut afterward.

Notes:

definitely not my best chap ever but i've got some good lines here and there

thanks for your patience, i'm gonna try to keep up with my tuesday schedule for the start of this year but i am kinda busy with school so it might end up a 2-week thing. i'll keep u guys posted.

CW: violence and torture, references to rape/sexual assault

chap title from roslyn by bon iver

quick warning for the first scene - it does get a teensy grossly graphic with the torture, so if ur a little squeamish then skip when u get to "Bucky lifts his chin; his face betrays nothing." and then pop back in around "SUNDAY, AUGUST 26 — 11:00 AM" and just know that beck got what he deserved

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

SUNDAY, AUGUST 26 — 10:47 AM

Bucky Barnes has tortured and killed so many people that violence has become his second nature.

But when he sees Quentin Beck, he hesitates.

He thinks so clearly of what Steve said to him in that miserable, dejected voice: Bucky—please—please understand. I didn’t want to, I didn’t mean to hurt you… I just—I was just trying to keep him away from Peter and I—it was all I had , baby, it… It was all I had.

Quentin Beck stands up, a handcuff dangling around one wrist. He’s dressed in a prisoner’s jumpsuit—a yellowed white color—and he tilts his head at the Winter Soldier even though Bucky is two inches taller. The room is empty save the cot behind him—one that looks eerily similar to the one in that HYDRA bunker.

His brow raises. “Nice costume,” says brown-haired Beck, with a distasteful amount of snark. There’s a stain of dried blood beneath his nose—the center of his face swells with a coming bruise. Maybe one of the other lock-ups came after him. “Is that supposed to scare me?”

All hesitation bleeds out of Bucky’s mind at Beck’s co*cky smirk; he’s an animal—a barbarian—and he curls his lips away from his teeth, and that brewing anger in his belly goes taut. “Yes,” says Bucky.

“Not as threatening without all your little toys, huh?” Beck says with another tilt of his head. “No guns, no knives. Not so scary without any weapons, Barnes.”

“Don’t need them,” he says darkly, and his voice comes out of him deep , from the sickly depths of his lungs like a tarred fume. “I am one.”

The Soldier moves, crossing the entire room in three heavy steps—and with both hands, he shoves the brown-haired man backwards into the cushioned wall. The impact knocks the wind out of him, and the man falls forward, coughing, onto his hands and knees as he tries to draw air back into him.

The Soldier grabs the man by the hair, yanking the gasping man up so hard that he squeals like a stuck pig. “Quentin Beck,” he says. The man fights, scrabbling uselessly at Bucky’s grip, and he shoves Beck face-first into the wall before twisting his arm behind his back with a violent jerk. “Someone killed six of you last night—who was it?”

The man groans into the wall; Bucky twists it further, his arm bending so far back that it becomes an alien thing, fingers wiggling sporadically; Beck squeals in pain. “I asked you a f*cking question who was it?”

“The f*ck do you care— ah!”

He twists with such force that the man’s shoulder pop s, and then he drops the guy as he sobs, curling into himself on the ground, the joint of his arm swinging loose. “The assassin, ” Bucky growls, leering over the man, “what’s his name?”

The pervert’s too busy crying into the floor to answer. “What the f*ck, man? I didn’t do any—”

His name!”

The man scrambles backwards against the prison cot, holding his arm carefully—Beck’s getting pissed , his brown eyes glinting. “He didn’t tell me—he didn’t f*cking introduce himself before he broke my nose!”

That explains the bloody nose.

Bucky hits him again for good measure—a solid punch that snaps his head backwards—and then again. And again. And again. And when at last the blood’s coming down his face in a solid stream and his eyes are swollen cracks, then Bucky growls, “ His! Name!”

Bucky pushes his face hard into the floor, grasping his other shoulder fully in one vibranium hand, before Quentin Beck screams, “A h—ah—GODDAMN IT, FINE!” Relishing that extra second, Bucky releases the man. “But I don’t know his name, alright? He’s—he’s pretty popular with the higher-ups—world leaders, billionaires, mafia bosses…” He spits a mouthful of blood on the ground. “They call him the Sandman. Apparently, he’s enhanced—turns to sand at the drop of a hat, can sneak into any room, any building, and slip away undetected. He does it for money—and from what I’ve heard, he never turns down a job.” Beck smiles, all bloody teeth, his sweaty cheek pressed into the off-white floor—all the while his arm dangles useless at his side. “Happy now, you psychotic bitch?”

Bucky lifts his chin; his face betrays nothing. “Very,” he says, and he pins down the man’s arm, flattening it out on the floor. “But I…” The anger comes easy—bubbling and swirling in his gut and rushing to the heat of his face. “I have other business with you, Beck.”

And then the Soldier squeezes his vibranium fingers tightly around Beck’s pinky, and he tears off the appendage in one—quick—yank.

Beck screams with vicious rage—his arm pulling uselessly at Bucky’s grip. Bright blood spurts from the wound, spilling out on the white floor like a broken faucet. “Do you know who I am?” Bucky asks calmly.

“God—you psychotic f*ck! My f*cking finger!”

Bucky shoves his flesh-and-blood hand against the back of his neck, shoving the man’s face further into the floor; Beck coughs and sputters, his bleeding hand flailing limply. “I said,” Bucky says, through gritted teeth, “ Do you know who I am?”

“Yes—” Beck chokes out, blood spreading in a small pool around his hand. “Yes—”

Who am I?”

Gasp. “The Winter.” A gargled cough. “Soldier.”

“Good,” he says. He finds himself squeezing and squeezing Beck’s sweaty throat until the man’s legs flail, and only then does he hiss, “Then you know what I’m about to do to you.” He releases the man’s neck instead clamps his vibranium hand down on the man’s ring finger as the other wound still spurts.

What? “ The man squirms, trying to wriggle out from Bucky’s iron-tight grip, Bucky presses his knee into the man’s back. “What the f*ck did I do to you, man? I told you what you wanted— ah! f*ck! Wait wait wait—”

The Soldier does not hesitate—he tears off another without breaking a sweat and then crushes the still-warm finger in his vibranium palm.

Quentin Beck’s ugly scream fills the room.

Bucky grasps him by hair again, a handful of greasy brown strands—the man flails helplessly—hauls him up, and throws him hard into the closed door with a bang! His body leaves an imprint in the metal there.

A sick feeling— hate —surges up in him, and Bucky stalks towards him, broad shoulders twisting. He moves forward, and that sick pervert moves back, brown eyes darting from side to side.

“What are you gonna do?” scoffs Beck, nervously glancing around. He looks like something molten and twisted—pink-faced, shoulder hanging at his side, other hand dripping blood. “Kill me? You’ve committed about thirteen crimes coming in here—kill me, and you’ll be on death row before you can say Steve Rogers—”

Take his name out of your f*cking mouth!” Bucky snarls, and he backhands the brown-haired man so hard that he knocks him to the ground.

“Ah,” he says, and he spits on the ground: bloody saliva before climbing back up to his feet, his hand still dribbling twin trails of blood from where his fingers used to be. His demeanor has suddenly changed, his head tilting slightly as he stares up at Bucky. “Did I strike a nerve?”

Bucky Barnes is going to hurt this man. He’s gonna make him wish he was never f*cking born. He can’t find the words he wants to say, so he just stands there, seething, sweat coming suddenly down the crease of his back.

“Oh,” Beck says. His eyebrows shoot up, and then he laughs. The brown-haired man has the audacity to f*cking laugh. “So that’s why you’ve got your panties in a knot,” he says, and he licks his white teeth clean of blood. “You’re f*cking jealous. You’re jealous I got a piece of your star-spangled slu*t! Sorry, he didn’t know he was spoken for—”

The Soldier’s vibranium arm moves of its own accord, the whine of a thousand metal pieces, and pins Beck standing against the wall by his throat, clamping down.

But somehow the room feels the dynamic shift—the Winter Soldier no longer has the upper hand.

Beck opens his f*cking mouth again, smirking; his eyes have a sudden wide craze, heightened by pain and adrenaline. “Supersoldiers are a dime a dozen these days,” he says, grinning and grinning like a f*cking Cheshire cat, “not my fault yours got a little frisky—”

His metal fingers clench around the man’s sweaty neck, so tight now that the man gargles and coughs. “ Shut up!” he snarls. “Shut the f*ck up!” Bucky punches him full-fisted in the shoulder—the already-dislocated one—and the bone there cracks.

Beck groans, head keeling forward, chest heaving. “ f*ck!— Jesus, look, he begged me to, it was nothing he didn’t want—”

The Soldier bares his teeth and grabs him by the throat to shut him up, lifts him up from the ground so that his feet dangle like a limp-feathered capon, and then he throws him across the room to slam against the prison cot.

The man rolls on his back like a beached turtle, coughing and coughing. “Come on, man,” he says, struggling to his knees and then to his feet, scooting backwards on the bed as Bucky comes forward, “ big f*cking deal, it was just a blow—”

“You raped him!” snarls Bucky, and he feels more like an animal now, his teeth bared and every hair on his neck rod-straight. “You laid your dirty f*cking hands on him, you sick piece of sh*t!” and he winds up and punches Beck in the side—another crack, maybe from a rib or the pelvis.

Bucky doesn’t care as long as something’s breaking.

The man groans into the ground, pained moans followed by nervous laughter, saying, “I think rape’s a little strong, he begged to blow me—”

SAY THAT ONE MORE TIME!” snarls Bucky, and he brings his boot down with a crunch over Beck’s bloody hand—he wails, “You f*cking psycho! My hand! My hand!”

The man’s hand—or what’s left of it—now resembles a mangled pile of clay. The Soldier kneels on the ground, knee pressed into Beck’s chest, trapping him to the floor.

A sudden calm washes over Bucky—like he’s fallen into the depths of a murky hole.

“He told me what you did to him,” he says. He presses his clothed knee down into Beck’s chest, full-bodied, his broad shoulders shifting. “You know exactly what you did.”

And there’s a moment of silence thick with blood.

“You’re not gonna kill me,” whimpers Beck, glancing at the door. “You’re—you’re not—you wouldn’t—”

“No,” Bucky says, although he’s seeing visions now of Beck’s corpse: floating on a lake or pummeled to a bloody pulp. “Worse.”

Enhanced interrogation skills are a crucial part of the Winter Soldier’s skill set. The first thing they taught him were the parts of the boy most sensitive to intense pain. The eardrum. Groin. Under the eyelid. Arch of the foot. Tooth.

Bucky could paralyze him with one hit to the spine. Could cut out his vocal cords with one flick of a knife. Could beat him within an inch of his life without breaking a sweat. Could remove what was left of his pathetic dick in less than a second.

“Do you know what it’s like to be helpless, Beck?” Bucky says, his voice low.

Beck looks up, his face gone bloodless and pallid. “Wait—” he tries and Bucky shoves his vibranium hand over the man’s mouth.

His teeth gnash wetly against his metal palm, but Bucky’s fingers only tighten around his jaw until he stops. “Steve did,” says the Soldier, and as he speaks, he pries open Beck’s jaw to reveal rows of white teeth. “You made him feel helpless.”

The man gargles helplessly, head thrashing, and Bucky’s other hand forces him still. His metal thumb presses down, forcing each row of teeth apart. His thumb and forefinger find that first one—a flat incisor, white and smooth, and clamp down on it like a pair of dental pliers.

“You made him feel f*cking afraid .”

Beck thrashes, shouting, all his words incoherent around Bucky’s metal hand.

Bucky’s brow hardens, his voice darkening into something sick. “You’re gonna know exactly what that feels like.”

And he pulls the tooth free with a squelch ; blood spills over the vibranium slits in the Winter Soldier’s hand.

SUNDAY, AUGUST 26 — 11:00 AM

When the Winter Soldier returns, his footsteps are loud—his combat boots clunk down the holding cell hallway with a sureness.

The Soldier approaches the front, waits for Deborah to unlock the passage-door, and she returns his personal items, placing them each on the counter. There’s something in his right hand, clenched tight in his vibranium fist, and the dark-haired man drops them on the counter as he recollects all of his weapons one by one: he straps his knives to his pants legs, slides his handguns into their holsters, and grabs his semi-automatic off the counter.

It’s teeth . He was holding teeth. Fifteen or twenty human teeth—with the fanged root intact—pink and shiny with blood.

He looks at her, and his face is spattered with red. His skin is coated in a thin, filmy sweat.

And he doesn’t say a word.

She’s never seen the Winter Soldier like this.

He gives a simple nod—a jerk of the chin—and secures his semi-automatic to his back, buckling it into place in his leather-strapped vest before turning to the door.

“Um, hey—guy?” she says, and all at once she doesn’t know what to call him. ‘Winter Soldier’ doesn’t seem appropriate for a moment like this—and when she tries to remember the villain-turned-hero’s actual name, her mind draws a blank. “You forgot…your…” She motions impossibly to the bloodstained teeth left on the police station counter.

He half-turns again, spotting the teeth. His eyes flick to hers; then the Soldier scrapes them from the counter with his vibranium palm with one scoop. For one long moment, he stares down at them with an unreadable glower, and finally the Winter Soldier squeezes them into his metal fist, metal grinding against bone.

When he opens his vibranium hand, the teeth have been crushed to a gravelly powder; the pinkish substance seems to fall between the cracks in his prosthetic limb and onto the floor of the police station.

Without saying another word, the Winter Soldier turns on his heel, combat boots clanking once more against the linoleum.

And once he’s gone, Deborah goes into the security room, dismisses the guy there, and starts deleting footage.

SUNDAY, AUGUST 26 — 1:57 AM

The Tower is a safe place.

That’s what Pepper Potts keeps telling herself. Still no word from Barnes and the others about the witness-killer, but they’ve still got a few Avengers here to protect the kids.

Dr. Cho handles everything medical while Pepper sticks to the media, ensuring with each passing second that these kids are out of the public eye.

Steve keeps stalking the hallways like a damn ghost, pacing so much that his footsteps drive the girl into a frantic panic attack—Pepper sets a chair by the elevator and posts him there instead.

A few hours pass like this—quietly—both the kids under enough sedation that they can get them solid medical treatment, and soon after Tony wakes.

Pepper’s alerted as soon as his heart rate goes up, so she strides in as her fiancé—ex-fiancé?—stirs, jerking himself awake and sitting up, looking dazedly around the room. By the time she’s inside his hospital room, Tony is slapping his forehead, blinking, and whisper-rambling about heat capacity ratios and blast radii. “Tony,” she says, and he doesn’t even register that she’s spoken, pressing his hand to his head again and muttering to himself. His hands are twitching again. “ Tony .”

It takes a few moments, but soon Tony comes back to himself, looking more tired than ever, hunched over the hospital bed. “He’s safe,” Tony says now, grinding his knuckles into his eyes. “Right? Right?”

“Yes,” she says, sitting on the hospital bed beside him.

“We got him out. You—you got him out.”

“Yes, honey, yes,” she answers, and the honey slips out with such ease that she immediately clamps her mouth shut afterward.

Tony wants to see Peter again, but he’s sleeping, so instead she takes him to Dr. Banner. Someone went back to Tony’s lab upstate and retrieved the sleep-supplement pills he’d been stashing there. Bruce Banner helps, reverse-engineering the pills and returning to them with a proper chemical composition. Returning to them with a sheet filled with chemical names and molecular compositions, he grabs Tony by the shoulder, looks him straight in the eyes, and says harshly, “Tony, you were taking these?”

Tony’s gaze drops.

“The hell is wrong with you, man?” he snaps, shaking Tony’s shoulder. It’s a much more visceral reaction than they originally got at the hospital, so Tony blinks in surprise. “You could’ve died. You could’ve—you could’ve—”

Tony doesn’t say much else. His hair is such a mess; Pepper really should get it combed for him. Those dark circles under his eyes look now even darker.

Bruce pulls a clear tupperware container out of his pocket; the little white pills rattle inside. “You know what’s in these things? Every goddamn stimulant on the planet. Jesus Christ, Tony.”

The man shrugs, his hands still twitching in his lap. “Didn’t have a choice,” he says quietly.

“How often?” asks Dr. Banner, and he presses his cold hands against Tony’s neck, two-fingered on the nodes of his throat, then

Tony shrugs, and that’s the truest answer he seems to come up with. “Whenever I was tired,” he says. “Whenever I woke up.”

Bruce checks over him for other effects, asking him more medical questions like “When did the twitching start?” and “How many hours of sleep did you get?”

“One,” he says to both Bruce and Pepper’s horror, “maybe two.”

Bruce just stands there, mouth half-open.

“Sometimes it caught up to me,” he says. “Every couple weeks, I’d pass out—wake up a day later with—with Peter on the screen.” His mouth twitches then, and he’s blinking, blinking, and shaking his head. “Needed it. Kept me up. Helped with…” He waves his hand awkwardly, and then suddenly there’s a tension in his face, and he glances sharply at Pepper.

With Peter , Pepper thinks. That’s what he wanted to say. That it helped with Peter.

But truly, Tony’s pills and lack of sleep didn’t end up mattering at all, right? Because although he spent months trying to create that weapon, it wasn’t the weapon that ended up saving Peter. After all that time, it was actually Bucky Barnes and Steve Rogers who provided the missing pieces of the puzzle.

Not Tony. And not Pepper.

Truly, none of them saved him in time.

Peter went missing on Friday, April 6th, 2018, at approximately 7:42 PM.

He was rescued on Friday, August 24th, 2018, at approximately 12:30 AM.

Give or take, that meant—one hundred and forty days in captivity. Twenty weeks. Almost five months. Nearly half a year.

And enough to affect him for the rest of his life.

Dr. Cho returns to talk to her about Peter.

They stand outside the kid’s room. Tony’s down the hall getting his heart scanned—Banner said the drugs could’ve caused irreversible damage to it—and Pepper lurking outside of Peter’s door like Steve was only hours ago. “He’s experiencing what we call delirium,” she says. “It’s just a fancy word for a confused state of mind. It just means he’s not fully…awake right now. It’s probably caused by a lot of the things he’s gone through—sleep disturbances, the drug withdrawal, malnutrition, physical trauma, excessive pain… All of those alone are risk factors for delirium—so it makes sense that he’s struggling.” She frowns a little, clasping her hands around her tablet. “I gave him some low-dose haloperidol, which could help, but with everything he’s been through… I’m not sure how much good it’ll do.”

Pepper nods, taking a small step towards Peter’s hospital door, but Dr. Cho puts out her hand, suddenly frowning. “Just one more thing, Pepper—and you’re not going to like this.”

There’s many things she hasn’t liked about the past few days. There’s probably nothing Dr. Cho could say that could upset Pepper further.

“He’s on a low dose of sedatives, just to keep him from throwing himself off the bed again” —Pepper’s not sure if Cho’s referring to the incident at the New Hampshire hospital or a new one— “but even with the sedative, we had to… We had to place some restraints on Peter.”

Pepper feels her chest go cold. “You what? ” she echoes.

Dr. Cho taps Pepper’s arm. “I know. I know. But he was consistently injuring himself. Pulling out his IVs, snapping his oxygen masks… And besides that, he was violent with the nurses, violent with me, and…” She shakes her head. “I read his chart—the New Hampshire hospital sent over their records. He did this there, too—injuring nurses, injuring patients when he escaped his room?”

Pepper didn’t know about that part; she only saw the aftermath. “Probably,” she says. “He was pretty…agitated. Kept trying to reach that little girl.”

Dr. Cho nods, her dark hair sweeping forward. “Then the restraints stay on. At least until we can make sure he’s calm. I know it’s not the best for his current mental state, but he really can’t be injuring himself while he’s so fragile. We’re going to keep up the sedatives, some antipsychotics… We’re just trying to reorient him now.”

So when Dr. Cho allows her inside, Peter’s sitting on the bed, his arms turned out and bandaged thickly—IVs fed between the knobby knuckles of both hands, soft leather restraints buckled around both wrists. There's a small white tube in one nostril, curling out of his nose and taped across his cheek. He’s awake now, sitting up, and he’s breathing very, very hard.

There is a black-haired nurse beside him, fiddling with the IV bag beside him, peering through her gold-rimmed glasses at each label before switching out the bag. Peter blinks lethargically at Pepper, his head tilting, his breath hitching a little in his chest.

He looks like a kid. Like a drowsy little kid right before you tuck them in at night.

Except this kid has leather straps buckled around his wrists, and he’s pulling at them in quiet jerks: clink, clink, clink.

There’s something wild about him then, chained to the bed like that. Like a caged dog. “I thought you said he was sedated,” says Pepper, as Peter draws in raspy gulps.

“He is,” says Dr. Cho, drumming her nails against her tablet.

“Then isn’t he supposed to be…” She swallows. “Calm?”

The woman is quiet for a moment. “Doesn’t always work out that way. He’s developed quite a tolerance to our sedatives, Pepper, and we don’t want to risk giving him any more than we have to.”

“This is our only option right now,” says Dr. Cho. “You do understand that, right?”

Pepper doesn’t say anything.

This isn’t something she was ever prepared to handle.

“It’s easier this way, Pepper. Safer. Do you really want to retraumatize him every time we need to draw blood or change his IV?”

Pepper backs out of the room slowly, feeling now sick to her stomach. “I understand,” she says, although she’s lying straight through her teeth.

SUNDAY, AUGUST 26 — 12:39 PM

Flint Marko finds himself at some sh*tty diner in Vermont.

He orders a cup of coffee, some pancakes, and a mile-high stack of bacon; he douses his entire plate in syrup.

Flint’s done most of the work—killed six of the witnesses and threatened the rest into legal silence. It wasn’t difficult, either. Most of them were too deep into withdrawal to do much else than blindly agree to whatever he said.

He only has two left to kill: Cassandra Paxton-Lang and Peter Parker. He’s done his research. They’re both children. Well, Parker’s a teenager, but… He’s not a psychopath. Of course he has some reservations about taking care of them.

So he writes to his contact: the anonymous government guy. He’s researched the girl—she’s Penny’s age. Divorced parents, felon father, New Yorker… In another life, Cassie could be his daughter.

No children, he texts.

Some dots appear on his screen a few minutes later—he’s typing. At last, the message: Do it and I’ll pay one million for each.

Flint only does this job for one reason: funding for his daughter’s medical treatment. She should’ve been dead before she could read, but because of these sporadic gigs, she’s still here. Alive and breathing. Her treatment has cost millions upon millions of dollars—and dozens upon dozens of lives—but Flint would do it all again in a second.

It’s his child. He’d do anything for her.

So Flint, of course, gives in.

SUNDAY, AUGUST 26 — 3:18 PM

Maggie Paxton has never been to Avengers Tower before.

And now she’s got a cot here—a bedside cot in her daughter’s hospital room—as Captain America stalks the hallways, as Pepper Potts cries in the empty medbay rooms, as Tony Stark leans against walls to reserve strength in his shaking limbs.

Cassie is visited by doctor after doctor: immunologists and cardiologists, critical care specialists and dermatologists, gastroenterologists, neurologists and orthopedic surgeons.

And with each new person, Cassie gets more and more frightened. For most of them, she just hides her face in Maggie’s sweater, whispering frantically to herself.

Dr. Cho—the Avengers’ main doctor—returns in the late afternoon with general updates. Cassie sleeps in Maggie’s arms, thankfully unbothered. “So far,” she says, “your daughter looks good. Her scalp is recovering nicely. We’re flooding her with antibiotics—have to keep her immune system up—and she’s got a respiratory infection we’re still trying to shake—”

“The cough,” interrupts Jim, who’s seated in one of the bedside chairs.

The doctor nods. “It’s minor, but persistent. We’re going to continue to monitor her for fever, white blood cell count—anything that might suggest systemic infection.”

“And her hand?” asks Maggie, stroking her hand down Cassie’s back as her little girl mumbles incoherently, asleep. “What happens with that?”

“That’s the least of our problems right now,” she says. “We’re going to leave it, recast it and check for any surface-level infections, but we’re going to leave it as much as we can.” Dr. Cho touches Jim’s shoulder—it’s a barely useful attempt at comfort. “She’s going to be okay. It might take some time, but she will be okay.”

Jim looks at the doctor’s hand as though it burns, and then her husband shakes his head. “But she’s been… She’s been doing things.”

“Things?” echoes the doctor.

Jim shoves his hands into his pockets, dropping his voice low so as not to wake Cassie. “I don’t know. We’ll say something and she’ll just… do it. Cover her ears or close her eyes or make a run for it or just…stare at us. And she’s…” He drops her voice even lower. “She’s been wetting herself. Is that something we can…fix?”

Dr. Cho looks worn. Tired. Maggie remembers then that the woman is far younger than she is: at least by a decade. “Again, I’m not a psychiatrist. There should be someone here soon to… To help with that.”

The woman looks like she might say something else, but then she grimaces, nods, and briskly leaves the hospital room.

SUNDAY, AUGUST 26 — 11:05 PM

Peter sleeps through the night.

And all the while, Tony stays by his side.

They sedate him enough that his sleep is motionless and slack.

Not that it matters much how slack he is—with those leather-buckled restraints on either wrist, he’s not going anywhere.

As the night creeps on, Tony asks one of the nurses for a couple items: a water basin, a bottle of conditioner, a rat-tail comb, hair oil, and shampoo. The nurse returns in a few minutes with the supplies.

Pepper offers to help him, but Tony wants to do it himself.

Piece by piece, section by section, strand by strand, Tony Stark combs through his kid’s hair, handwashing it as best he can in the water basin, keeled over the head of Peter’s bed as he does it. He massages the dark tangles out of the kid’s hair—so much of his hair is so knotted that it’s become dreaded, tangled into a gnarled mess.

It takes time.

A couple hours go by, and then another.

Tony’s mind goes pleasantly blank as he works. He washes and washes and washes, unpacking layers of dirt and old dried blood from the kid’s hair, loosing it into the basin and refilling it again. He goes through the tangles with layers of conditioner and shampoo until he’s got the kid’s hair smooth and soft and smelling sweetly of clementine.

By the end, his hair is combed through. He looks so much more like Peter as his hair dries, clean curls drying on his forehead.

Tony ghosts his hand over the kid’s hair, pushing it away from his eyes. It’s long now that it’s untangled, reaching just past his shoulders. His hair and nails always did grow so fast— a Spider thing, Peter used to call it.

Tonight, for once, Tony doesn’t think about Charlie or his crew or the witness killer or anyone else. He thinks about Peter—and how peaceful he looks like this.

Tony hasn’t seen Peter Parker at peace in a long time.

Notes:

thx for waiting, happy new year everybody, don't work too hard haha

(also i am not a doctor so if there are any medical errors floating around either let me know or pretend u r blind, thanks)

love u all

Chapter 28: pyramid song

Summary:

“Okay,” says the psychiatrist. “Good job, Cassie. Good job.” And then she shows her two more pictures: a cartoon hospital and a cartoon jail, and asks Maggie’s daughter the same question: Can you point to which one we’re in?

And Cassie points, after some time, to the jail.

Notes:

bc i’m literally insane and procrastinating all of my sh*t - here u go. another chapter. lol. might as well get back on track with this tuesday sh*t so here we go

chap title is from the radiohead song 'pyramid song' go listen to it

CW: some minor violence, allusion to sexual assault

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

MONDAY, AUGUST 27 — 4:14 AM

Monday is a difficult day.

Pepper finds herself wandering the Tower sleeplessly, calling lawyers and discussing press releases and emailing doctors.

And outside the elevator, she finds Jim Paxton standing outside the double doors, still dressed in those pajamas he’d arrived in a few days prior. He must’ve been washing and re-washing the same clothes this whole time, having left home so abruptly; she should send them some fresh laundry.

“Mr. Paxton,” she says, addressing the girl’s stepfather. “Can I help you?”

He straightens up as she approaches, his arms broad and at his sides. “Your guy—he locked off all the stairwells,” he says, pointing a finger at her, and at the elevator behind him. “And the elevators.”

He means Happy; she nods.

The man looks slightly unhinged—exhausted and worn thin, and still he continues to speak. “And if that’s not a fire hazard, I don’t know what is. Maggie and I—we want to take our daughter home, and—and—if you don’t let us out of here, I’ll have you all arrested for—for—”

Pepper looks the man hard in the face. “Mr. Paxton,” she says, echoing his name, “there is a killer on the loose—do you understand that? Someone who killed six men in their jail cells. Someone who’s willing to break into a military prison and murder four soldiers to cover up what they’ve done. Do you think they’ll hesitate to come after you in your home?”

Her words seem to rattle the man, because he winces then, glancing down at the floor.

“This is the safest place for her. You know this. Until we found whoever killed those suspects, you and your family need to stay here.” She takes a breath. “Now, I won’t keep you—but I need you to understand that I won’t put that little girl at risk. And you shouldn’t, either.”

Jim Paxton slumps back against the elevator doors; a silence stands between them, pervaded by the smell of hospital disinfectant and blood. “I just want to take her home,” he says after a while. “She doesn’t… She’s having a really hard time.”

“I know,” she says, and she does. Tony’s not much better. He barely has conversations with anyone but Peter—talking to everyone else like a robot, slow and jilted. And Tony keeps mentioning things, little things that make the rest of the Avengers turn their heads in disturbed astonishment.

“I just—we—we didn’t even bring her anything from home. Her toys. Her blanket. Her animals.” He pinches the bridge of his large nose hard enough to leave a red mark. “We—we left so fast, we didn’t even think…” He shakes his head again. “We thought we lost her. And now… Now we just want to take her home.”

Pepper approaches the man, close enough that she could place a comforting hand on him—but she does not. “I’ll have someone pick things up for you,” she says. “Whatever you need from your home.”

Jim Paxton nods, hand still pinching his nose. “Thank you,” he says.

MONDAY, AUGUST 27 — 6:00 AM

All of the Avengers reconvene on Monday morning.

Tony is not present at the meeting, yet no one pauses to ask where he is; they all know precisely where he is—at Peter Parker’s bedside.

Someone has managed to locate Thor, so he’s there as well, dressed in full armor; in the corner, Dr. Bruce Banner is speaking to him, his hands less expressive than usual—Bruce keeps ducking his head and wincing as he speaks.

And even Thor, a god who’s been around for so long that he’s older than Islam and the Middle Ages—his expression of horror is something Steve was completely unprepared for. Before Bruce is even done talking, Thor falls to one knee, his red cape dragging over the conference room floor.

The god of thunder has one hand over his mouth and a look of wrought despair on his face. Thor hasn’t even met the kid—and still, the horror of the situation weighs on him.

Bucky, Clint, and Natasha return from their mission soon thereafter—walking into the conference with a purpose.

“How’s the kid?” says Bucky, crossing the room immediately to meet Steve.

Steve sniffs. His bruising has faded significantly, his face now mostly clear save a few yellowed stains. “Better,” he says. “His heart’s been stable, they’re saying. His healing’s really pulled through.”

Happy leaves the conference room suddenly, phone pressed to his ear.

“How was…” Steve trails off, his eyes traveling down the Soldier’s figure. “Buck,” he says, “your hand.” His vibranium hand is unharmed, of course, but his right hand: the knuckles there are split to the bone, blood crusted beneath his fingernails. Even his metal arm is coated in a sheen with blood, like he dipped his hand in it up to the elbow, the stuff dried into the cracks of the mechanisms.

Steve reaches for Bucky’s flesh-and-blood hand, and touches lightly, drawing his left thumb over the back of Bucky’s right. “I’m alright,” Bucky says quietly. The other members talk and argue around them.

Bucky’s dressed in his Winter Soldier getup, too; there’s blood on his face.

Absent-mindedly, he shakes his head. “What did you…” But Steve already knows the answer to that question—and he knows he doesn’t really want to hear Bucky say it aloud.

Across the room, Thor’s booming voice: “Since April?”

“Yes,” says Bruce quietly, wringing his hands in front of him. “Since April.”

“You did not contact me—I would have—”

“We didn’t know,” he says miserably. “We didn't know.”

In that moment, Happy burst back through the double doors, phone gripped in one hand. The man is in desperate need of a shave; he’s looking more bearlike by the day. “Pepper,” we can’t hold it off much longer,” he says. “News outlets are already speculating.”

He looks tired—they all look tired. Who can sleep knowing what’s happened to Peter Parker for the past five months?

“Hold what off?” asks Clint, who’s unstrapping his bow from his back. “What’s going on? Did someone…”

Pepper shakes her head. “Press conference, that’s all.”

Happy nods in agreement.

Steve’s seen some of the news lately—all asking questions like who’s the mystery teenage and why was Tony Stark locked in his lab? Everyone has something to say about it.

“And that’s not all,” says Happy. He taps on his phone a couple times, and the screen on the far end of the conference room lights up. “Guess who’s paying us a visit.” High-definition security footage appears on the screen; it looks like the Tower lobby on the first floor. At the front desk are four cops in various stages of police gear—two with guns and kevlar vests, two in suits with police badge dangling around their necks.

Nat huffs, sitting down in one of the conference room chairs; she’s still dressed in her Black Widow getup, too, her hair braided back. “What do they want?”

Happy explains, “They’ve gotta question their witnesses. Probable cause hearings are this afternoon for all of the suspects, so they need more information if they wanna keep them all no-bail.”

Pepper rises from her seat. “Alright, Happy—you handle them. And if they so much as rustle a hair on Peter’s head—they’re out of the building, got it? I’ll handle the press conference.”

“Alone?” echoes Rhodey. “Let me help. Public’s more likely to believe you if you’ve got a government figure on your side.”

“Fine,” she says, and then she turns to the recently-returned Avengers. “So—did you find our guy?”

Bucky nods—Nat takes Happy’s phone from him and displays a series of photos on the screen: of a buff, square-jawed man with a buzzcut. She says, “Don’t have a name yet, but apparently people call him ‘The Sandman.’ Enhanced—can turn into sand. Assassin-for-hire. Uses his power to sneak in high-security buildings undetected.” Natasha waves her hand generally toward the door. “But as long as you keep this building sealed, you should be safe here.”

“I will find this man of sand,” says Thor, rising from his chair. He’s got an eye patch—since when does Thor have an eye patch? “No harm will come to Peter Parker on my watch.”

“Good. Bruce, go with him just in case. Sam?”

Sam Wilson looks up. He's dressed in a simple sweatshirt and jeans—one of the only ones in the room not in uniform.

“If you could, I need you and Nat to run a couple errands for me.” Pepper explains briefly about the conversation she had with Jim Paxton in the hallway. “I’ll text you a list. Go there and back to the Parkers’ apartment in Queens—see if you can find anything we can take back here. Anything that might be familiar to him.”’

Surprisingly, neither of the pair argue, despite having been given a more civilian job.

“And if you can’t find anything there…” She winces. “Go back to the compound. Peter had a… A room there.”

Both Sam and Nat nod.

Steve and Bucky vote to remain at the Tower, to watch over Peter and Cassie in case the Sandman returns for them.

And eventually, each group filters out of the conference room to complete their respective missions.

MONDAY, AUGUST 27 — 8:23 AM

Maggie Paxton sets the food tray in front of her daughter.

It’s not much—just a cupful of sweetened oatmeal and a bottle of orange juice. But Cassie’s refusing to even look at it, curled up in her hospital bed with a white knitted blanket pulled tightly over her shoulders. She’s sucking on her thumb—an action that Maggie hasn’t seen her do since she was two —and squeezing her eyes shut. “Cassie,” says Maggie, inching closer to her daughter. “Come on, baby, just a couple bites.” She holds up a spoonful of the oatmeal, and Cassie starts to cry silently, all hitched breaths and soundless tears.

She can hear Cassie’s stomach rumble, can practically see the hunger in her eyes, but for some reason her daughter just won’t take it.

When the nurse comes in, some college-aged girl with bleached-pink hair and visibly dark roots, Maggie tries to explain. “She just won’t eat it,” she says. “It—it worked before, I don’t know…”

The nurse tries as well—encouraging Cassie that there is nothing wrong with the food, that no one will hurt her—but Maggie’s daughter cannot be consoled. So the nurse retrieves her supervisor, Dr. Cho. Cho says with a weary sigh, “Steve Rogers mentioned something—he said that when he was locked in there with them, they ate from cans.”

“Cans?” echoes Maggie.

Helen nods. “Like something dug out of a fallout shelter. Beans and peaches… Tomato sauce…” She shrugs, frowning a bit. “It’s unorthodox, but… It just might work.”

So they bring back Cassie some cans. One of the nurses—the one with the bleached hair—crimps the sharp edges of the can so that she won’t cut herself on them. They fill one can with the oatmeal mixture and the second with the bottle of orange juice and place them on her tray instead.

Then to their simultaneous relief and dread, Cassie grabs the can, pinning it between her hand and her cast like she’s done it a thousand times before, and starts gulping it down so fast they think she might throw up. And when she’s done, she sticks her hand inside, swiping her little fingers around for more food, and licks her fingertips clean. The whole process takes less than a minute, and then she returns to her blanket shroud, sucking on her thumb once more. She’s calmer now, casted hand held loosely in her lap, blanket over her shoulders.

There’s something sickening about it. This is what Cassie must have done every day while she was in that horrible place—eating out of cans, dragging her hand along the inside for the last semblance of taste.

But at least she’s calm.

Unfortunately, Cassie’s sense of calm does not last long.

Peter Parker and Cassie’s rooms are connected—which means that Cassie can hear most of what happens in the wounded boy’s room. And it becomes a simple equation: if Peter freaks, than Cassie does, too.

As of the past twenty-four hours, Peter Parker has seemed to have stabilized. Dr. Cho tells them that although he’s physically doing much better, he has something called delirium, but she can never quite define what the condition actually is. All it means is that Peter spends the entirety of his time awake in a foggy daze, startling at every person who enters, mumbling in frantic tones, inconsolable on all fronts.

It’s like he’s stuck.

And Cassie has noticed the obvious change in Peter—it’s caused a palpable change in her, drawing out a course of fear they only saw on the first day: a panic-stricken violence at every single person who enters. An brown-haired orthopedic surgeon enters the room around seven o’clock to discuss an upcoming hand surgery, and Cassie starts kicking and screaming and scratching so viciously that she tears the surgeon’s earring off—right through the lobe.

The surgeon leaves a trail of blood on her way out of the room, and then her sweet Cassie goes deathly quiet, her chest heaving as she inhales, hugging herself until her eyes take on that glazed daze.

No questions, no “Mommy”s, not even a “Where’s Peter?”

Later that morning, another nurse tries to adjust the bandages on Cassie’s head, but as soon as his hands come near her, she’s fighting like a wild animal, howling, “PETER SAID NO! PETER SAID NO!” and scratching at his face with such a violence that she leaves lines down the man’s skin.

And afterwards, she tucks herself into the corner of the hospital room, far away from both her mother and her stepfather, and cries for Peter Parker.

Sometime around nine o’clock, Dr. Cho finally locates a child psychiatrist who’s willing to take the risk—a former Stark Industries employee who worked with kids struggling after the Battle of New York.

The woman dresses in pleasantly pink scrubs and has her brown hair tied back in a half-bun. A badge lanyard dangles around her neck lined with Captain America shields. The psychiatrist—Dr. Alexis Miranda —and meets them outside of Cassie’s hospital room. They explain the situation quickly and without much thought, and the woman seems to absorb the information, nodding and asking questions. “Some kids like to have things that remind them of home—comfort items—do you have anything of hers? Toys, blankets?”

“We didn’t—” Maggie says, her voice trembling. “We just left with what we had, and now—now that we’re here—we can’t—”

“That’s okay,” assures the psychiatrist, with a light smile. “That’s okay. Let’s try to stay calm, okay? If you’re calm, she’ll be calm. She just wants to know she’s safe. And” —she removes something from her bag: a stuffed zebra— “I brought her something anyway. Helen mentioned she liked animals?”

Maggie nods tearily. “Yeah. She does.”

They re-enter Cassie’s room one at a time—first Maggie, then Jim, and at last, a few minutes later, the psychiatrist, who knocks lightly on the door with the palm of her hand. She introduces herself then to Cassie, lingering in the doorway and raising the stuffed animal like a peace offering. And when Cassie doesn’t respond, she turns her attention away from the girl and to the stuffed zebra instead, introducing the zebra, too.

Still, the kid eyes her warily, thumb pressed firmly between her teeth, sucking quietly, her head tipped into her mom’s chest.

She feigns a conversation with it, moving the zebra as she does, tilting its head and moving its legs like a kindergarten teacher would for her class. Her every movement is careful and steady—all so she will not frighten the girl in the hospital bed. No sudden movements. No sharp noises. “Oh, no,” says the psychiatrist gently, playfully, “I don’t think our friend the zebra has a name—would you like to give it one?”

She looks so confused . Frightened out of her wits. She stiffens and says nothing, but her eyes do follow the zebra as Alexis moves it about the room. Eventually, Alexis asks again, and Cassie nods—just a slight tilt of her well-bandaged head.

“Is it a boy or a girl?” she asks, and after a long period of thought, Cassie moves one of her scar-lined fingers and taps her own chest. “A girl? Alright. And does she have a name?”

Every one of Cassie’s responses takes time. But they wait for her to do so, letting her take in the situation and absorb the question before whispering, “Ava.”

“Ava,” repeats the psychiatrist. “That’s a good name for a zebra. Ava the zebra.”

They play this game a little longer—adding characteristics to the zebra, mostly in yes or no questions that Cassie barely has to answer—until at last Alexis offers the stuffed animal to Cassie.

Maggie’s daughter stares at the zebra like the psychiatrist offered her a pipe bomb instead of a plush toy. Her hand wiggles, like she wants to reach for the toy zebra but she traps it against her chest, curling it in next to her casted hand.

It takes a few more tries—a few more pseudo-conversations, a few more gentle shakes of toy, even pretend-brushing of the zebra’s mane—before Cassie finally, after watching the psychiatrist place the toy on the bed, picks it up herself.

She hugs it like a baby, like she’s never had a toy in her life.

Maggie’s gonna buy her a thousand toys. She’s gonna fill her little girl’s room with stuffed animals: zebras, lions, monkeys, belugas… She’s gonna take her to every zoo in the state and then some—she’s going to spoil this girl silly. After what she’s been through, Cassie deserves the entire world.

Cassie’s saying something now, in that uber-quiet whispery voice she uses now; her words are so hushed that even the psychiatrist leans in closer to hear. “...don’t want…”

The psychiatrist, Alexis, attempts to pry the words from her, but Cassie just falls silent, unresponsive as she usually is, hugging her new toy.

In that hour that follows, the psychiatrist attempts to pull some basic information from the little girl now that she’s somewhat comfortable. “Cassie,” she says, gently getting her daughter’s attention, “the zebra wants to know—she just wants to know—do you know where you are?”

Cassie just watches her, her dark eyebrows pulled into a childlike frown. Doesn’t respond. Her arms tighten around her zebra, her pupils flicking between her toy, the psychiatrist, and the closed door of the hospital room.

“It’s okay to answer. Would it be okay if we maybe…?”

Then it happens—Alexis reaches for her bag, but the motion is too learned. She moves just a smidge too fast, and Cassie curls into her mother’s chest with a vigor, breath snaking into her in a sharp rasp, gasping out muffled words into the fabric of Maggie’s blouse, her entire body a wiry ball of tension. Her eyes are wide then, her pupils blown like balloons, entirely focused on Alexis’ hands.

“Okay,” says the psychiatrist, in a low whisper that matches the cadence of Cassie’s, “that’s alright. I’m just taking out some pictures.” And she does.

Slowly, as though before a spooked horse, Alexis pulls a series of cardstock pages, white edged with cartoon images on each. She moves them each slowly, allowing Cassie time to get used to the sight. And, once she’s ready, Alexis raises the first pair of pictures.

The first two are places: one a cartoon forest, the other a cartoon city skyline. “Okay, Cassie, can you point to which one we’re in?”

Cassie looks suddenly confused, some of the fear draining from her little legs as her eyes move from one image to the next. After a few seconds (and a few squeezes of her stuffed zebra), she points, hesitant, to the forest.

In that moment, a pit of ill realization grows in Maggie’s stomach.

“Okay,” says the psychiatrist. “Good job, Cassie. Good job. That’s very good.” And then she shows her two more pictures: a cartoon hospital and a cartoon jail, and asks Maggie’s daughter the same question: Can you point to which one we’re in?

And Cassie points, after some time, to the jail.

That pit in Maggie’s stomach solidifies, a bezoar hardening in her intestines. “Cassie,” she says, horrified, unable to hide her dismay. “Cassie, honey…”

Cassie thinks they’re still in the bunker.

They’ve said a thousand things to Cassie since they found her— I love you, you’re safe now, no one will hurt you— but no one ensured that she understood the most obvious, basic term of her escape: that she was no longer in that bunker.

They’d dragged her from place to place, from hospital to hospital, but no one told her that those drug addicts weren’t stalking the hallways, that Peter’s room wasn’t a torture dungeon, that her doctors weren’t captors in blue scrubs.

And—Maggie looks around now, at this white windowless room—to someone who’s been locked up in one room for the past five months, a hospital room could resemble a cell.

She’d been so engrossed in having Cassie back—Maggie hadn’t even thought to show her daughter to a window.

MONDAY, AUGUST 27 — 10:38 AM

The police linger in the lobby until Happy Hogan comes to fetch them.

They’re in a pack of four: two men, two women. Pepper’s already prepping for her press conference, so Happy greets them alone, unshaven and dressed in a suit he’s been wearing for two days straight. “Couldn’t wait to pounce on these kids, could you?” he growls, impatient, as each of the police officers types their badge numbers into Happy’s tablet.

“We don’t enjoy this any more than you do,” says one of the female officers, solemn, as her partner finishes entering her information. “We waited as long as we could.”

Happy’s the director of security—he is well-versed in the justice system—so he knows she’s right. Waiting this long (nearly three and a half days) to question witnesses for a probable-cause hearing is practically unheard of.

Happy was expecting a more aggressive presence from the police officers—but truly, the police officers are acting like everyone else has these past few days: in a state of dazed shock at the violence they’re bearing witness to. They do everything they’re asked: relinquishing their weapons, giving up their badge numbers, even washing their hands before entering the Medbay.

They find Tony almost immediately, talking blearily to Dr. Cho in the hallway, and one of the male officers quickly escorts him away for his questioning. The rest of the police officers follow Happy: the other male officer darts into Cassie’s hospital room, and two female officers follow Happy to Peter’s room next door.

“He’s not, uh,” tries Happy as they approach the kid’s room, but his voice catches on the thought of Peter in that hospital room, completely unaware. “He’s not—he hasn’t been, uh, talking. Not more than a word or two since he got out.”

Can’t they give this kid a break? Hasn’t he been through enough?

“That’s alright,” says the first officer, a woman who introduced herself as Officer Stone. Her hair is very short—some kind of design shaved into the sides—and she has a mole on her upper lip. “We have protocols for that—yes or no questions, that kind of thing.” She’s just as tall as him, but her pace is a little quicker. “We’re just here to help, Mr. Hogan. Really.”

The other officer, who has yet to introduce herself, is a little quieter—younger than her partner, with a scar on her right cheek and her black hair in long twists. She follows behind them both.

At last, they reach Peter’s door, and Happy finds himself faltering. “I don’t think you understand,” he says, his voice tinging in something hysteric. “Peter—he’s been through a lot. He’s not—I don’t think he’ll be able to answer your questions.”

“Maybe,” says the other officer, in a slight accent, “but we do still have to try.”

Try as they might, the officers’ first entrance goes poorly.

As soon as they step foot in the room, the kid goes f*cking ballistic , fighting his restraints with such violence that Happy thinks he might tear right through them. He starts screaming something—maybe words, or maybe just terror—and all three of them leave the room just as soon as they’ve entered—and shut the door behind them.

The second time around, Happy convinces Dr. Cho to run another dose of sedatives through him for the interrogation. With one tired, tired look at Peter’s hospital door, the doctor nods. This time, they give him enough to make his head droop, and the officers enter without issue. Both officers and Happy sit against the wall in a row of chairs, careful not to get too close.

Happy knows that seeing Peter—skinny as a rail, ropey scars overlayed over his open skin, hospital gown swallowing his pale, bruised body—is a shock. But both officers seem to swallow their astonishment, getting right to work. “Peter,” says Officer Stone, voice wavering just a little, taking out a manila folder from her satchel, “my name’s Officer Stone. This is my partner—Officer Atwood. We’re gonna ask you a few questions, is that okay?”

Peter doesn’t respond. He doesn’t even blink. The only movement from his side of the room is his frequent tug on his metal-lined leather restraints: clink, clink, clink. Officer Atwood’s eyes drop to the restraints, and she breathes in sharply but says nothing.

“Happy here said you’re having some trouble talking, is that right?”

Peter’s eyes travel over the room, drifting over Happy and then back to the two police officers. Clink. Clink. Clink. His bony knees shift under the hospital sheets.

“That’s okay,” says Officer Stone. “We’re just here to try and understand…what happened. We want to hear anything you want to tell us. Do you think you could write it…?” The officer realizes at once what she’s saying, her eyes falling onto the leather restraints. “Um. Sorry. I didn’t, uh. Never—nevermind.”

Peter’s dark hair has been brushed and washed, it seems, yet it falls over his eyes like a doll’s, drifting stringily over his eyes as he watches them.

He just…watches them.

Growing more uneasy by the second, Officer Stone clears her throat. “Okay. That—okay. Maybe some yes or no questions, is that okay?” She tries a couple: You remember getting in a car crash? or Do you remember who gave you those marks on your back? But Peter doesn’t even acknowledge her presence in the room.

He’s so goddamn quiet.

“Alright,” says Stone, “maybe we need to start” —the woman winces— “smaller. That’s alright. We can, um… Do you think we could look at some pictures, Peter? Would that be okay?

Clink. Clink. Clink.

“You can just nod… Or shake your head… Or…” The officer swallows. “I’m gonna show you a series of pictures, okay? It’s called a lineup—you know what a lineup is?”

The boy is still so silent.

He watches her then, especially her hands, as they move and tap. “A lineup is just a bunch of pictures of people—but only one of them is going to be the person who hurt you. Okay? I just want you to try and recognize the person from the photos. That make sense?”

Peter Parker gives no indication he heard her or understood her, and still the officer continues. “We usually do these in person, but in your case… This works, too. I’m gonna show you five photos, Peter. Five. This is number one.”

The first picture is of a dark-haired, bearded man with large eyes.

She shows him the rest in a steady succession, one after the other, and at number three there’s a visceral reaction from Peter—his head sort of jerks back and he looks up and around the room, suddenly distraught.

“Is that him?” asks Happy, feeling something insectile crawl in the pit of his belly, just as the officer says, “Atwood, mark number three” to her partner.

It’s sickening how the mere face of such an ordinary-looking man could cause so much terror in someone—the entire room feels it now—a souring of the air itself, as Peter’s quiet stability unhinges itself like the broken door of a cabinet. His breathing turns to sound, low whines in the back of his throat, and his wrist clanks insistently at the bar of his bed, clink, clink, clink — faster and faster now, his shoulders twisting as he tries to move.

Officer Stone looks pained. “Can we get the kid another round?” she says, like she’s offering him a beer and not another dose of sedatives. “Doctor?”

Dr. Cho is there already—how long has she been standing there? just lingering in the doorway?—dark-haired and steady-eyed, with her hands tucked in her white lab coat. “If I give him any more,” she says, solemnly, “he’ll likely pass out.”

Peter’s muttering to himself now, squeezing his fists into balls in quick succession, tears absently passing down his cheek without even trying. His mouth opens and closes, his jaw resetting, his entire body the picture of tension. “Not ready,” he seems to be saying, “not ready.”

A look of nausea comes over Officer Stone’s pale face. “Okay,” she says, as though convincing herself. “Okay. Alright.”

Happy wishes suddenly that Tony were here—to calm the kid, to touch his hand, to bring him back to some fragment of grounded stability. But the other officers are busy questioning Tony, too. Just like this.

They wait a few more minutes before continuing, but even with the break, Peter is not much better. With each consecutive photo, the kid only spirals more, at some point throwing his head backwards into his pillow, hitting the cushioned head of his bed with muffled thuds .

“Just one more,” says Officer Stone, her voice high with worry, “Peter, alright? One more. That’s it. Just one more.”

She pulls out her final series of photos then—a bunch of brown-haired, bearded men with dark brown eyes. One photo, then two, and Peter’s eyes just keep flicking around, and up to Happy and back. And then they get to number five, and Peter has a reaction like none other.

Peter Parker goes very, very still.

And his eyes don’t leave the photo, but all of them hear the sudden hitch in Peter’s breath. “Peter?” says the officer. “Do you recognize this man?”

And then he looks, with sudden and newfound horror, at his leather restraints, at the chains that buckled each restraint to the railings of the bed.

“Peter?” says Happy, leaning forward in his chair, trying to wake the kid up a bit. “You’re okay, buddy. It’s just a picture.”

Peter looks up—sharply—like he’s seeing the man for the first time and his eyes have a sudden shine: a petrified, duck-feathered gleam. His hair shakes—barely a shiver of motion.

“Atwood,” says Stone carefully, glancing worriedly between Happy and Peter as she puts the photo in her lap, “mark number five.”

Her partner doesn’t make a move for her pen; Officer Atwood’s eyes are on Peter, who has suddenly begun to tremble. He’s making a noise now—like a keen, like the whine of a white-tailed deer full of a buckshot.

“Atwood,” repeats Officer Stone. The woman has paled slightly, and she swallows hard, her expression taut. “Number five. Mark—mark number five.”

Notes:

now we're back on track for this tuesday schedule baybeeee (i know i'm like 3 hours after but i couldn't sleep so here we r)

thanks so much for all ur comments ugh i LIVE for them, + any suggestions will be taken into account lol this writing process is so fluid

quick apology to darlene and abby for making u cops, i needed characters :| my b

i literally wrote this in like 2 days so plz let me know if i made typos i'm trying not to embarrass myself in front of the entire internet

also funny story my prof mentioned lake champlain (where ava starr's body was dropped) in class today and i was like *what the f*ck how does he know about that* and remembered that i based my ffn in real actual places. it was literally a jumpscare lol.

have a great week guys, u deserve it :)

Chapter 29: between the bars

Notes:

DONT KILL ME GUYS

i literally have a test in 13 minutes so i'm posting now

i know this is a little different, but i love my little quirky chapters so- this one's set a long time ago, around 2 weeks into his kidnapping. i was writing it for 'thought i found a way out' and got way too invested, so now it's a real chapter.

i will ALSO be putting it in 'thought i found a way out' (that's the little sequel thing - if you haven't read it plz go look)

chap title from 'between the bars' by elliott smith

I KNOW it's probably not what you were looking for, but it's what ur getting bc i spent way too much time on it lol. plz read it anyway lol

CW: torture, violence against a kid, violence against a minor, injury, injury recovery, violent death

remember, this is the THIRD time they try to escape. They try ONCE again after this, later in their captivity.

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

THURSDAY, APRIL 19 — 2:44 AM

(THIRTEEN DAYS INTO PETER’S CAPTIVITY)

(ONE HUNDRED AND TWENTY-SEVEN DAYS BEFORE HE IS RESCUED)

Most of the wall in their cell is covered in tic marks.

Old markings of old prisoners of days they were trapped here—just like Peter and Cassie are now. Scratches of four lines with a diagonal fifth—five days—in so many rows and columns that the wall is patterned with it.

Peter tries to imagine it sometimes.

A man sitting on this bed—pissing in this toilet—washing in this sink—bleeding on this floor. Praying for someone to help him. Wracked by horror night and day. Sticking his head in the sink to drink greedily from the tap. That man—and all the ones before him—were probably all dead now. Their bodies zipped up in body bags full of rocks and dropped in a lake.

Like he would be.

Like Cassie would be.

Most of the wall is filled with tics like that—but there is a six-foot long stretch of blank wall underneath the bed, completely unmarked.

So after their breakfast at noon, they scoot beneath the bed, bellies half-full. They have a loose nail Cassie found ages ago that they use to make their own tic marks on the walls—and he brings it with him. “They’re not gonna look down here,” he says, and pain crackles through his collarbone. He thinks they might’ve broken it the last time they beat him. “You could write something—something you wanna say. Something you wanna…tell people.”

She nods, her brown hair pressed messily against the cement floor.

Peter hands her the nail, and she scoots forward a little more so that she’s only inches from the wall. She scratches in stiff lines, drawing the point of the nail over the cement. It takes a few minutes, and then her masterpiece is finished. Beside her, the wall reads, I MISS YOU DADDY in crooked letters.

Then she hands the nail back to him, and he writes that time, in smaller, neater writing: PETER WAS HERE like he’s carving his name in the underside of a middle school desk instead of the wall of a cell in god-knows-where.

It’s something kids write on locker stalls or high school yearbooks. But to Peter, it’s something different.

Because if one day, Charlie and his guys take them away—if one day, they accidentally bleed Peter dry and dump his body in a lake…

Then he wants Mr. Stark and Aunt May and everyone else to know: that he was here. That he was alive. And that he fought.

God, how stupid has he been? Peter thought that if he was good—if he never got drunk or did drugs or cheated on a test, if he saved every single person he could—that that would be enough. Who was he kidding? He’s going to die. Here, in this cell that reeks of feces and sweat and fear. He’s tried and tried and tried to escape—but the odds are, Charlie is f*cking unhinged, and he’ll probably kill him accidentally: swinging the hammer too hard or cutting the knife too deep.

Man, he really, really doesn’t want to die here.

There’s a little warm hand on his, squeezing. “Don’t be sad,” whispers Cassie, and she pries the nail from his sweaty grip. A tear snakes down his face and drips onto the cement between them, darkening.

She takes it then and, pressing the nail against the wall, scratches something new beside his.

CASSIE WAS HERE TOO.

They’re so f*cking hungry.

They’ve developed a routine to their eating now—Peter gets Cassie’s milk and half of her burger. Peter needs the calcium more than she does—he’s constantly being beaten, and he needs to keep his bones strong. With no other source of calcium in their diet, Peter needs it the most or he risks more bone fractures.

It’s pain prevention. Injury prevention. The only kind they have.

And Peter knows he should let Cassie have her whole meal. He knows. He does. She needs more than what he’s giving her—like him, she’s starving.

Sometimes he’ll think, Today. Today, I’ll give her the whole thing. Today’s the day. But then he gets so f*cking hungry that every time their Happy Meals come through that food slot, he does it again. Eats the other half. He can’t… He can’t stop himself.

They’re so hungry, so starved that they even eat the wrappers now—tearing off little sections in bite-sized pieces, one at a time, when the hunger pangs are bad enough.

And when they’re hungry enough, they’ll gnaw at the boxes, too. They’ll each set the pieces on their tongues and chew and chew and chew—let it dissolve halfway in their mouths before they chew again and swallow.

Peter’s not stupid. He aced chemistry class. He knows there’s no nutrition in paper or in f*cking cardboard—but they can’t help it. They’re just…hungry.

“When I get home,” Peter whispers, after a dosage of sedative so thick that he can’t lift his head, “I'm gonna…I’m gonna lock myself in my room—so no one can get to me.” The crook of his arm is sore and pink at the injection site, oozing milky trickles of a yellowish pus.

A blood-thick stretch of quiet as Cassie hiccups, looking up at him from her spot below the bed. “I'm gonna sleep in my bed,” she whispers, blinking tearily at him. “I'm gonna sleep in my bed with all my stuffed animals and you can sleep there too.”

Peter turns his drug-addled head, his eyes drifting over her blurry face. “You wanna have a sleepover?” he says, and a smile pulls at his face.

Cassie nods, and she rests her head on his stomach, blinking up at him. “Mommy never lets me have sleepovers.”

Of course. The little girl’s never had a sleepover before. God, she’s so little. “At your house?”

“Yeah,” she says, and she sounds almost happy, “at my house.”

Peter smiles at her, bringing his bruised fingers to her head and patting her hair. “I'll bring the snacks. Chips.”

“Donuts,” she says. “with the white stuff.”

The word sticks in his mind for a moment; he can’t remember what it’s called. And then it comes, clear, and he relaxes. “Powdered sugar,” he says.

“Yeah. And pizza.”

“What kind of pizza?”

“Pineapple,” she says. “I like the pineapple. Daddy lets me eat all the pineapple off his pizza.”

It's stupid, but right now all Peter can think about is mashed potatoes. Buttery and Filling and smooth - wouldn’t cause any harm to his aching mouth, would slide into his stomach and fill him up. “Mashed potatoes,” he says, even though that’s never been a sleepover food.

Cassie only grins. She loves this game. “Chicken wings,” she says. “The spicy ones.”

“Scrambled eggs.”

“Cheesecake.”

Cassie hugs his bare stomach, and he gasps slightly at the pain. There’s a nasty bruise on his side from where one of the guards kicked him. They’ve been draping strips of cloth over it, dunking them in the sink and draping them over the bruise to try (in vain) to relieve some of the pain there.

Their clothes, like everything else in the bunker, have its purpose.

Cassie’s old hoodie still acts as a sling for her broken hand. For bandages, Peter’s torn up so much of his shirt at this point that he doesn’t have one anymore—and his pants above the knee, the thick denim now used to help pad the worst of his cuts. Cassie’s clothes are all torn, too—her shirt now a vest, her pink pants torn off at the knee.

When the bandages get too bloody, it’s Cassie’s job to rinse them in the sink, and when she’s done, she lays them out on a hot-water pipe so they dry fast. Ironic—because the sink-faucet water doesn’t get hot at all; it runs cold, so cold, while the hot-water pipe along the ceiling runs so hot that it burns to the touch. So, hot enough to dry the bandages after Cassie washes them.

“Mac and cheese,” Peter says, once he regains the breath in his aching torso.

A sigh from beside him. “Bread,” says Cassie.

Tired, Peter glances over at her. “Bread doesn’t count,” he says.

“Yes, it does,” she says. “I like bread.”

“That's not a meal,” he says. “We’re talking about meals, Cass.”

“I don't care, I want to eat bread,” she says with that little frown. “That soft kind. From Thanksgiving.”

Peter hums lightly in response. “Hawaiian rolls,” he says, once he remembers what they’re called.

“Yeah. Those.”

More quiet.

“I wanna be home for Thanksgiving,” she says, lifting her little head. “Do you think we will?”

“Yeah,” he says, but at this point he’s really not sure. He hopes so.

He wants to see May again. Ned and MJ. Tony and Pepper. Happy. Hell, he’d be happy to see Flash. He’d be overjoyed to see a single normal face. A face that wasn’t blistered by meth or eyes bloodshot from angel dust.

He daydreams that they’ll find him—Rhodey in his blocky War Machine suit, the Winter Soldier with his metal arm, Thor in his mighty red cape.

But they’re just dreams, that’s all.

No one’s going to save them—not with Tony held so firmly under Charlie’s thumb.

So Peter and Cassie—they have to save themselves.

They come up with another plan.

Over the past few days, they’ve been working on it. Peter has started taking the pointiest of their McDonald’s toys and sharpening them—filing them sideways over the concrete until their edges turn bladelike

He and Cassie do it together whenever they’re strong enough—shnk, shnk, shnk—sharpening and smoothing, sharpening and smoothing.

“A shank,” says Cassie chirpily, waving hers around—it’s the worn-down plastic of a Connect Four structure. Once a bright blue, it’s pale now, the coloring worn away by every scrape against the concrete. “Daddy told me!”

She’s too loud; Peter’s heart leaps into his throat, panic rushing through him like a white-water rapid, and he glances sharply to the door—no one heard. No one heard. No one heard. Peter hushes her quickly then, and she drops her voice down to a whisper for the rest of the conversation.

Day and night, they file these pieces into weapons: shanks. They make four of them in total—two for each of Peter’s hands, one for Cassie’s good hand, and one to hide in Cassie’s sleeve. Peter takes apart the soles of their shoes and wraps the flat rubber around their shanks as handles—and then they use their loose shoelaces to tie the handle tight, with a loop knotted to the side to wrap around their wrists. That way, they can’t lose it if someone tries to yank it from them.

Peter hides their sharp-plastic shanks in their ‘Treasure Chest,’ the bucket bolted to the floor, putting it below the rest of their McDonald’s toys.

They don’t have the passcode to the bunker’s door, but all of the addicts know the passcode by heart—all they need to do is find someone who does and force them to give up the code. That’s what the shanks are for.

The guards come in two at a time now to fetch Peter for his sessions. The plan is simple—target one of the weaker guards, force them to give up the code, and use it to escape the bunker.

It’ll work.

It has to work.

They practice fighting in the early morning when all the addicts are asleep, making stabbing and slicing motions with their hands. Cassie turns it into a game, making lightsaber sounds with her mouth as they pretend-fight; Peter doesn’t have the heart to tell her that this is not a game.

Maybe it’s better if she thinks it is.

And that day, as Cassie naps steadily, head resting on their shared pillow, Peter strokes her hair away from her eyes. He hates this, he really does. What the hell is he doing, teaching a seven-year-old how to stab a man? She should be going to school—not asking Peter every question she has, ones he can never properly answer. She should be pleading for dessert—not begging her captors for another bite for her cramping stomach. She should be a kid.

But right now, Cassie’s the only help he has in getting out of here—and he needs every bit of help he can get.

“When we do this,” says Peter, wrapping the loop of the shank around her little wrist, “I need you to be brave, Cassie. I need you to be a superhero.”

“I can be brave,” she whispers, gripping that little plastic shank. She makes a stabbing motion and smiles at him. “See?”

“Really, really brave, Stinger,” he says.

She nods. “I can do it. I’m brave.”

It’s only been five days since their last escape attempt.

And they need to try again.

“We’re gonna make it,” he whispers, “we’re gonna do it this time. We’re gonna go home.”

“Pinky promise?” she asks, extending her little finger to him.

Peter’s missing every fingernail on that hand. They’re growing back painstakingly slowly, one sliver at a time; he raises his own pinky. “Pinky promise,” he whispers.

It’s almost seven when it happens.

They can hear them—two sets of footsteps down the hallway. Peter looks—hard—to Cassie, and he squeezes her hand with the shank gripped tightly inside. “Be brave, Stinger,” he says, and she nods. They’ve hauled the mattress up so that it lays flat against the wall—Peter stands behind the mattress with his hand gripping the top.

They’re gonna make it. They’re gonna do it this time. They’re gonna break free.

The metallic sound of a key in the lock—Peter squeezes Cassie’s hand tight—a voice on the other side, and then the door opens. The instant a figure comes through, Peter and Cassie shove the mattress over hard, and it hits the first guard—black-haired Zhiyuan—sending him sprawling, and Peter tackles the next one, knocking him to the side, twisting his body around and pressing his bladed shank to the man’s scratchy throat. “Don’t move!” yells Peter, dragging the man backwards. “Don’t f*cking move!”

It’s working. It’s working.

“Now, Cass!”

She knows what to do. With a scream, the seven-year-old stabs her little shank down to the black-haired guard and plunges it into his side, and when she lifts it up again, the man knocks her backwards, shoving hard.

“Okay, man,” he says, and Peter’s entire body is trembling with a sweaty panic. “Tell me the code! Tell me the f*cking code!”

The man flails in his grip, trying to knock away at Peter’s hands, his legs thrashing. “Help—HELP ME—ZHIYUAN! HE’S—HE’S GOT ME—HELP ME!”

He’s pleading. The man trapped in Peter’s grip is pleading.

“Shut up! Shut up!” he cries, and he presses that shank harder and harder, until blood beads at the man’s neck—he thinks suddenly, violently, of Charlie. “SHUT THE f*ck UP!” His heart rattles in his chest—more people are noticing the commotion, and there’s a rush of people in the door of the cell, and a panic like a brass-capped pipe bomb in him, detonating inside of him— “JUST TELL ME THE CODE! TELL ME OR YOU’RE DEAD!”

—and across the room, Cassie launches herself at that black-haired guard, and she stabs into his back, clinging to him like a f*cking animal, arms wrapped around his neck, legs wrapped over his back—and she stabs again, and again, her dark hair fraying everywhere, and she’s screeching something high-pitched and demonic. The guard stands up, screaming, knocking away at the girl, trying to grab at the little shank and she slices down hard, cutting the man’s hand open—

“HELP ME! PLEASE—CHARLIE! HELP—”

Peter presses down again, and something warm dribbles down Peter’s hand—he can’t think—he can’t f*cking think! I’LL KILL YOU! I’LL f*ckING KILL YOU! TELL ME THE f*ckING CODE!”

A rush of people towards their room—footsteps and more footsteps—and Peter panics, shouting, “STAY BACK! STAY BACK OR I’LL KILL HIM!”

A mass of people in the doorway, but there’s one in particular grasping the doorframe with both hands: Charlie’s red-haired wife, Renee.

The whole room stills with that woman in the doorway: Peter by the toilet, shielding his body with the guard’s, Cassie on the other as she holds her little bloody knife to her guard’s throat—the man’s bleeding profusely. “Drop it, Parker,” she says. Her red hair is tangled and swaying behind her, her smile something ghoulish. And she’s got a gun—lightweight and dark brown, and she’s pointing at him.

“f*ck you,” he snaps, but his whole body trembles at the sound of her voice. “Tell me—tell me the code—”

Her face twists. “I said drop it, you little freak—”

He doesn’t recognize his own voice—shrill and demonic, something twisted by terror— “No! The code! The f*ckING CODE!”

“I’m gonna count to three,” she says calmly, her eyes drawing lazily across the room, “and you’re gonna drop it, Parker.”

“One.”

His mind goes liquid-cold. “f*ck YOU!” he snarls, the sound of his voice grating and far too loud— “f*ck YOU! I’LL f*ckING KILL HIM!”

“Two.”

“SHUT UP! I’LL f*ckING DO IT! I WILL!” The guard is thrashing, screaming for help, and Peter tightens his grip on his weapon—

“Three.”

The guard twists his neck violently, and for a split second, he and Peter are making direct eye contact—

A bang! so loud that it rattles the entire room—for a split second, Peter thinks he’s been shot. Peter’s ears ring and whine—the sound echoes in his ears. Warmth spreads over his front, a geyser of warm spray on his front—and when he looks down his entire front is dark and the man’s, too.

Blood. He’s covered in blood.

Peter just stares at himself, blinking, unable to breathe, warm spatters of blood spreading over him, the man on top of him gargling with Peter’s knife still pressed to his throat. Blood spurts from one side of his neck, a spray like a rain gutter in a monsoon. What—what—what’s happening?

For some reason his mind is flashing images of his uncle Ben—bleeding out on the street, breath hitching in his chest, hands clasped around Peter’s, and all of a sudden Peter can’t breathe—

He’s trapped under this man’s limp body as the blood pools, slowly spreading around them both—the man chokes around a mouthful of red, and there’s a f*cking hole in his neck, an open-blast wound of flesh and muscle and blood—and he struggles, limbs flailing weakly, his head now falling limply onto Peter’s chest.

The blood is all over him—thick and bubbling—and the man on top of him is gurgling for help.

Someone shot—someone shot the—someone shot him—

“Cassie?” Peter manages, his mind in cold, blood-spattered chunks. “Cassie?”

His hearing is starting to come back, and he glances left, realizing that Renee has stormed in and pinned Cassie down, caught her by the hair and dragged her sideways, and she’s screaming for him.

“Peter!” Across the room, his kid thrashes, slipping that extra shank out of her sleeve; gripping it tight, she thrusts it into Renee’s closest arm—and the woman drops her, screaming and gripping her now-bleeding limb.

Whose body—how did this happen—how—did he—did he do this?

Uncle Ben?

“Cassie?” he shouts, panicking—

But she’s not quick enough—the red-haired woman shrieks with a sudden rage and grabs Cassie by the ankle as she tries to get away, yanking her towards her. “Peter! Peter!”

And then Renee snarls, “You —little — bitch!” and hits Cassie hard across the face, backhanding her with such force that Cassie’s knocked into the bed, spilling sideways and sprawling out into the dead man’s blood.

Cassie stands up, slipping on the blood and falling back down onto her stomach. “Peter?” she says, her voice high and panicky, looking down at her now blood-covered front, “Peter!”

Peter can’t find it in himself to move—the man’s blood is drying on him now, and he can’t get it off of his bare chest. Too much blood. Too much. It’s f*cking everywhere, and the man’s body is sprawled over his, lifeless and heavy. Peter’s still trapped. He can’t—he can’t—

The red-haired woman grabs Cassie again, a fistful of the girl’s hair, and she screams like a wild animal as Renee drags her bodily through the growing pool of blood, pulling hard.

Blood.

There’s so much of it, drying on his bare chest, drying stiff in what’s left of his pants… Peter sucks in a breath and finds himself unable to exhale, just breathing in and in and in and he’s freaking the f*ck out—

“PETER! PETER!”

On the other side of the room, that guard Zhiyuan is still bleeding profusely, stab wounds burbling blood, and a blond man is standing above the guard, pressing cloth to him.

And Cassie’s gone down the hallway—kicking and flailing, and someone else is on him, pulling Peter from the body, and his breath is all tangled up in his chest and he fights—all frantic stabs and kicks, but they manage to get his arms cuffed behind him, ripping the shank from his wrists far too easily.

Someone stabs a needle into his side and plunges, and his mind warps with sedation, the world becoming slow and sickly.

Cassie’s little voice down the hall: “PETER! PETER! PETER!”

They drag him down the hallway like that, his head slung low, his whole body a paperweight, a guard dragging him forward on either side. “Cassie,” he chokes out, because he can’t remember where she is; his mind’s muddled with whatever they gave him. “Cassie?”

They’re in the Room now, the chair standing ominously in the center; one of the addicts is messing with the knobs on the side, extending it flat with one mechanical click: it slides flat, the arms and legs aligning to form a metal table.

Terror licks at his brain—wet and slow.

“No,” he mutters, pulling at the arms holding him down—even the drugs can’t hold down the fear that’s washing over him. “No, no, please…”

He forces his head up and finds Charlie only feet from him, talking in wide-eyed fury with his red-haired wife; beside him, a female guard has Cassie pinned against the wall on her stomach, and she’s crying incoherently, sobbing and bawling and shaking bodily, her little body still drenched in blood from when she fell.

On the other side of the room, tied loosely to his wheelchair with leather buckles—Scott Lang screams for his daughter, thrashing like a madman in his chair: “Don’t hurt her! Don’t hurt her! Take me! Take me! Please—”

With one swing, Mason slams his hammer into the side of Scott’s head—his head falls limply sideways, a clear liquid dribbles from his ear and nose: drip, drip, drip onto the bloodstained concrete.

The two of them are trapped against the wall, helpless, waiting for what is to come: like two butterflies stuck to a bulletin board with steel pins.

“Charlie, please—” Peter chokes out, but his pleas are useless—they’re always useless—and tears are already coming down his face when the bearded man turns on him—his entire body goes taut in anticipation of the blow—hitting him so viciously across the face that his neck cracks.

“Tell me, spider-bitch,” spits the man, and saliva slides down one corner of his mouth—how high is he? He grabs Peter by the jaw, forcing his head back against the wall between the guards, and his skull grinds hard against the concrete. “What is this? Huh?” With his free hand, Charlie waves around one of Cassie’s shank—the one they made out of a Connect Four game.

Blood falls warm and runs into his eye and Peter blinks away the sting—Charlie’s ring always catches him in the worst f*cking spots—shredded through his eyebrow. “Wh-what?”

—and he shoves it against the spot his ring just opened, poking the blade into the spot above his eye, and pain splits hot in his brow; Peter doesn’t dare move a muscle. “What the f*ck is this, Parker?”

Tears slip down his face—his legs tremble, his whole body trembles. “We—we made—ah—I’m sorry, I’m sorry, wait—”

“Out of what? Out of what?”

“The—the—” Charlie presses harder, and Peter squeezes his eye shut to prevent more blood from going in, and he can feel the blade cut and move, sliding up his forehead— “The toys—the f*cking—the Happy Meals—they come with toys—”

One hand still trapping his jaw, Charlie presses harder and Peter can feel the homemade shank scrape against bone—and it f*cking hurts. “YOU NEVER LEARN—YOU NEVER f*ckING LEARN, PARKER!”

Peter’s crying like a f*cking kid, blubbering, trying anything that might calm him down: “I’m sorry! I’m sorry—please—I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to—”

Didn’t mean to?” Charlie snarls in his face, a wide-eyed glower— “YOU WERE TRYING TO KILL US, YOU UNGRATEFUL LITTLE FREAK! YOU’RE GONNA LEARN! YOU’RE GONNA f*ckING LEARN!”

Renee’s got something in her hands now—a shiny coil of wire, all looped up—and she unwraps it slowly, stalking closer to Cassie. “Oh, they’ll learn,” she says coldly. Without a second thought, she whips the length of it at Cassie—who shrieks in unbridled terror—the wire rips through her leg and blood rises to the surface of her skin, bubbling over.

Someone else wriggles between them, shoving Renee back with her hand, saying, “Not the girl,”It’s Ava, high as a f*cking kite, hair all tangled—looking like she just woke up from a nap, but there’s a fierceness in her gaze as she pushes the other woman back with a force, “We’re not here for that.”

Renee spits at her. “The f*ck do you know—the kid stabbed the living hell out of Zhiyuan—and we’re just gonna let her walk? She got me in the f*cking arm!” She bares a slash on her forearm still bleeding loosely. “Kid needs to f*cking pay.”

Cassie’s still crying—what’s left of her pink pants are dark now; she must’ve wet herself during the struggle.

The arguing gets loud, a few of the other addicts interjecting left and right: “I’m not hurting the kid—”

“You saw what she did to—”

“—seven years old—”

“Grow a spine, Daria, she did something, she pays the price—”

“—just a kid!”

“Oh, so now we’re drawing the line? f*cking mint—”

And eventually Charlie shouts, “Everyone shut up!”

And the room quiets—save Cassie’s crying.

And the bearded man, eyes bugged wide, teeth bared, says,“Put Parker in the chair,” and with a heartless glare in his direction, he adds, “Little Lang can watch.”

Renee smirks then, handing Charlie the wire, yanking Cassie’s head back so that she’s forced to look in Peter’s direction. He and Cassie make sudden eye contact, both of them knowing what’s about to happen, and Peter sobs hard— “No, please—please—please—”

Charlie coils the twisted cord in his hands, folding it over and over again in his palms and releasing it—again and again and again. That scraping, churning sound of the metal coil is all he hears as they drag him towards the table, forcing him down on top of it, his chest pressing against metal—he flails, kicking out, a full-bodied terror trembles in his body. “No!” he yells, his mouth tangy with blood, his face already f*cking streaming with tears, “Please—please, no—I’ll be good—I’ll be good—I won’t do it again, please…

He's choking on his sobs—choking on the thought—no, no, no, no—NOT THE f*ckING CHAIR—

He’s weak and drugged so it’s easy to lock him down on the table—one buckle at a time—and he sobs into the metal, forcing his forehead into the hard surface—he’s entirely immobile, entirely facedown. He flips his head around, frantic, trying to see—he can’t do it—HE CAN’T DO IT AGAIN—and he’s already sobbing so hard that he can’t see. “Please—please—I won’t—I won’t do it again—” The blunt sound of fabric against blade, and the remains of his tattered jeans are gone—he’s left with nothing but his dirty boxer briefs, his legs exposed all the way up the thigh. “No—no—wait, please—I’m sorry, I’m sorry!

From beside him, Renee whistles. “Nice shorts, Parker.”

At the moment, Peter can’t even remember what his underwear looks like; the sensation of cold air on his thighs makes his whole body freeze up. His spidey-sense is on f*cking fire—sensing danger left and right, every hair on his body pricked to attention, his every cell singing like a horror-film choir: this is going to hurt.

“Wait,” he chokes out, a last resort— “Wait! PLEASE, CHARLIE, PLEASE—”

Then the first hit comes—the coil of wire whistling through the air, and the hit is sharp like a razor; it draws blood on the first hit, and he howls from the holy f*cking pain of it.

The second is worse.

“YOU DON’T—RUN AWAY—FROM ME!”

Somewhere far away, he can hear Cassie crying.

Somewhere far away, he knows that she’s watching.

“YOU f*ckING FREAK! YOU’RE NOTHING! YOU’RE NOTHING! YOU’LL NEVER RUN FROM ME AGAIN!”

Another hit, and warm blood streams down the side of his knee—another, and his calf shrieks alight with something awful.

“YOU’LL NEVER ESCAPE ME, PARKER! YOU’LL NEVER—RUN—AGAIN!”

“Charlie,” Peter gasps, and his vision is spotty with it, “please, please—”

Hit—and hit—and hit—until the table is wet and he can’t think—it hurts so bad—NOT AGAIN, NOT AGAIN—

PLEASE—PLEASE—HELP ME—

Hit, and another hit—and one rips diagonal and he screams

HELP ME, MR. STARK—

I CAN’T—

IT HURTS—

Peter barely remembers anything after.

One of the female guards takes the mattress—shreds it in front of them, sending bits of foam everywhere; Cassie cries as they do it.

Someone else goes through their bucket, finding the toys and half-made shanks, and dumps the whole thing, raiding it for anything useful.

He passes out—in and out—in and out—until at some point he wakes, in a nauseating haze of pain. He doesn’t know how long it’s been: minutes? hours? days?

When he finally gathers the strength to move, he turns his head—Cassie’s crying under the bed.

“It…hurts…” she sobs, and Peter tries to drag himself to her, in so much pain that he can feel it awash in his face, dizzy and dizzy and dizzy with pain—but it’s so much that he can only make it to the bedframe. “Mommy…”

He reaches out with one hand—it’s now he realizes he’s still coated in dried blood—to touch her, to reassure her, anything.

“DON’T TOUCH ME!” she screams, and she kicks at Peter, so he backs away, curling his arm back to his side. “Don’t… Don’t…” She’s hiccuping, coughing, and she’s so f*cking scared and mad and she’s still so drenched in that man’s blood. “I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU!”

“Cassie,” Peter whispers, his chest tightening, “Cassie, please—”

When his blurry vision finally focuses on her, he sees that her hand is clamped over her side, guarding a spot there by her hip. Did they—did they— “YOU MADE THEM—YOU LET THEM—”

He hushes her once, through a haze of his own tears, but she’s not listening.

“You let—you let them—”

Shushing her and shushing her, he army-crawls to her again, this time managing to get close enough to touch her. “You know…you gotta be quiet—quiet, Stinger—”

“I WANNA GO HOME! I WANNA—GO—HOME!” and Cassie’s pulling at the battered remnants of her shirt and smacking her head with her fists and wailing, just the way that little kids do.

But she can’t. They can’t.

They don’t have that luxury.

She’s much too loud—so Peter finally reaches her, his body screaming for him to stop, and wraps her in a hug so tight that she can’t hit herself again, his arm snug around her torso, pinning her arms at her sides; “YOU SAID—YOU SAID—” He shoves his hand over her mouth then, clamping down hard enough that her cries are muffled into it.

“I know,” he says, just a whisper in her ear, “I know, Cass…” Because he stupidly, stupidly told her that she was gonna make it home this time. He lied to her—he won’t do that again. “I’m sorry… I’m so sorry…”

And she gives, sobbing wet and muffled into Peter’s hand, curling taut into his chest.

At last, he can see the injury to her side where her shirt has tattered away: an array of cigarette burns, pinkened flesh burned in circles, all lined up like a pattern.

It’s then Peter thinks to himself—with his legs screaming in liquid-hot pain, like someone took a scorpion’s stinger and scraped it down his body—he thinks, I’m not doing this again.

He can’t make her do this again. Not if they’re just going to hurt her.

Not if they’re just going to fail.

Hours later, when all the addicts have found sleep or something else, when the whole bunker seems to have stilled, Peter hears something across the hall—and his spidey-sense prickles all the way down his spine.

No, he thinks, and the thought feels like ice. No more, no more—

It’s only seconds before their door creaks open, and the sound itself sends a cold shiver of horror down his back. “Iron Man,” he chokes out, “Iron Man,” but neither of them have the strength to get up, so he just cringes, cowering on the floor like a beached seal tangled in plastic, putting his hand over his head. “Please—please—I can’t—no more, can’t—”

His vision is so blurry and dark that he can’t see who it is; he rolls onto his front, shrinking, in some stupid attempt to protect his stomach.

But when he brings himself to look up, he finds only the black girl with her wild hair: Ava. She stands, swaying in the doorway, skinny and brown and she’s holding something

Peter flinches back—he really can’t help it, it’s just instinct at this point—but it’s just a pile of clothes on the ground. And on top of it, a few needles filled with a pale yellow fluid. It’s just Ava, he has to remind himself. Just Ava. She won’t—she probably won’t hurt them. She’s sitting now, cross-legged on the floor of their cell, a few feet from him. “Morphine,” she says, rubbing the back of her neck and glancing backwards at the door. “You want…?”

She’s done this a few times—granted Peter the heaven of pain meds whenever she felt sh*tty about what was happening.

“Yeah,” he chokes out, laying his head back. “Please.”

He lays back, and Ava comes closer through the haze of pain, Peter’s vision blurry and hot. Her hair falls stringily over him. “Don’t—don’t move,” she whispers. “I’ll be quick.” She cleans a spot on his arm with the corner of her shirt, and injects one smoothly into the muscle of his thigh.

The prick of the needle is nothing compared to the whole-bodied hell his legs are in.

She picks up another syringe, sticks it diagonally into his other thigh. For someone as high as she is, Ava’s hands are steady when she presses the plunger. She injects a third into his calf, and then picks up the fourth, tapping it with her fingernail. “For Cassie,” she says, as she sways.

Most of them just call her the Lang girl or the kid or that little brat. But Ava—Ava calls her Cassie.

Peter doesn’t even have to think about it. “No needles,” he says. “Any… Any pills?”

Ava nods, rummaging through her pockets, and she pulls out some discolored reddish pills from her left one, dropping two on the floor beside him.

Then she takes the needle meant for Cassie, and she says, “Where do you want it?”

Peter points shakily to his knee, and Ava leans down, grabbing his knee with one hand—a flash of pain so intense that he loses all breath. “W-wait,” he tries, but she keeps going, pinching the skin of his kneecap and pricking the needle just below the skin—she presses down the plunger with her thumb, all the way.

Ava stays there while it kicks in, hand steady on his leg, as the morphine spreads warmly through his muscle, turning the slashed-up muscle sleepy and numb.

“Thank you,” he says at last, and she nods, shuffling away from him.

She picks up the two pills she dropped and beckons to Cassie—to the hiding spot beneath the bed. “I got…” she says, and her voice kinda trails off. “I got something that’ll make it better.”

Hesitant, Cassie scoots forward. “Ava?” she whispers, tears still drying on her face, poking her head from her safe space under the bed.

Ava unclenches her fists and holds out the two pills.

Cassie glances at them, worried, and then looks to Peter as though to say: Is this okay?

“Yeah,” he whispers, and even the act of speaking draws from the last reserves of his energy. “Take them. It’s okay.”

So the girl takes them quickly, swallowing them dry in a way kids aren’t supposed to know how to do—before she scampers back beneath the bed. Ava points to the clothes then—a couple of black jumpsuits. Prisoner’s jumpsuits, made of some kind of thick denim. “Found them downstairs,” she says quietly. “Sorry about your…”

Pants, they both think, but neither of them say it.

The burning humiliation of that moment threatens to overhaul him again, so he just hides his face in the concrete ground, turning away from her.

Ava rifles through her pockets again and finds a tube of ointment. “For…” she says, gesturing vaguely at Cassie, grimacing. “For the…”

It must be for the burns; Peter nods sleepily—the morphine climbs in him. “Thank you,” he slurs.

She shakes her head; the woman doesn’t say anything more.

With a slow and sleepy final glance, Ava shuffles backwards, stands quietly, and locks the door behind her.

That night, he dreams fitfully—of Mr. Stark.

He dreams that he is at the top of a very tall building—one gleaming with polished windows, tall enough that he swerves at the sight of the street below. And he hears something—something familiar—so he shuffles to the edge, up to a waist-high cement barrier interlayed with brick. And at the very bottom there, ninety-three stories down, is a dark fleck of a person waving his arms and shouting Peter’s name.

Peter knows who it is. He can spot that gold-titanium alloy plating anywhere—he knows that red-and-gold faceplate, those white-glowing thrusters.

But Iron Man isn’t lifting off the ground this time.

Peter is barefoot, and his feet are red, blood darkening at his ankles, skin peeling away from his heels. And Peter—he steps closer to the edge to spot him. “HELP ME!” he screams, but his voice is just a whisper, and he grasps the barrier with both hands and screams over the edge. “MR. STARK! HELP ME!”

But Mr. Stark isn’t moving. No one is. No one’s coming to help him.

He steps up then, one foot at a time, and Mr. Stark’s voice becomes shrill and high.

The height makes him dizzy, makes him swoon with something impossibly heavy. His toes curl over the edge of the cement, and he feels himself crying. Small, hiccupy sobs coming from him, fluid streaming from his nose and mouth, his head aching from it.

At the bottom, ninety-three floors down, Mr. Stark is on the sidewalk, grayed head craned up to look up at him, arms outstretched like a parent to a toddler he’s just tossed in the air.

Maybe—maybe, down there, Mr. Stark is smiling.

And Peter has a sudden want in his chest to be down there with him, to touch Mr. Stark’s beard in his hands, to press his face into his chest, to be held by him, to be rooted in something real and warm, something other than gravel and night sky. He inches forward until it’s just his bare, sticky heels against concrete, his toes in open air—ninety-three stories in the air—and his face is wet. He presses a hand to his face, brings his palm before him, and finds his hand sticky and red.

Peter looks once down at the street, and then up at the sky. The clouds seem to swallow him—all grayed darkness and mist. He takes a hitched breath.

I’m coming, Mr. Stark, he thinks, so clearly, wiping away at his face with his sleeve. I’m coming.

And Peter Parker takes a step.

Notes:

plz let me know if i miss anything - typos or anything else

gotta go take a test, wish me luck, i hate mandatory stem classes

Chapter 30: sparks

Notes:

going off to lab now so i figured i'd update, i'll add more sh*t later but here u go

CW: medical stuff? reference to violence, i think that's it

have a great day guys

chap title from 'sparks' by coldplay, i've been lsitening to it literally nonstop

Chapter Text

MONDAY, AUGUST 27 — 11:55 AM

“...are alive and well, and both have been reunited with their families.”

Cameras flash in Pepper’s face; she fakes a professional-CEO smile.

“Ms. Potts!” shouts one reporter from the first row. “Ms. Potts! Can you address the photo of Tony Stark carrying that young man! Is that Stark’s son?”

“The young man who was captured,” she says, carefully and cleanly, “was an underage member of Stark Industries staff. And as he is a minor, I suggest you keep his personal information out of your mouths. Next question.”

A roar of noise—more reporters and flashing cameras. “Mr. Rhodes! Mr. Rhodes!” Beside her, Rhodey points to a new reporter, one in a gray suit. “The six deaths of the kidnappers—did the Avengers have anything to do with that?”

Rhodey stands up straighter, if it’s possible. “It has never been Avengers policy to take lives,”he says, clasping his hands together in front of him, “and the events of August twenty-fourth are included in that policy.”

A shout from the back. “Mr. Rhodes—then do you—do you know who killed those six suspects? Do you believe it was a mass suicide?”

Rhodey nods. “With the evidence provided—we had reason to believe that the six deaths were in fact not suicides.” Cameras click and whir and flash in his face. “The Avengers have performed a covert” —Pepper’s not sure how covert it actually was, especially with the Winter Soldier on a rampage— “mission to uncover the killer. They’re tracking him as we speak. Next question, please.”

“Ms. Potts! Ms. Potts!”

“Yes, on the left there.”

“How exactly was Tony Stark involved in the kidnapping?” This is the question they’ve been waiting for; the room full of journalists quiets for the one woman brave enough to ask it. “Did he know Charles Keene?”

Pepper clears her throat. “Like the other victims, Tony Stark was held against his will in the lab. To my knowledge, he had never met Charles Keene prior to the kidnappings. Next question.”

“Mr. Rhodes! What do you have to say about felon Scott Lang’s involvement in the kidnapping? How did he die? Did the Avengers—”

Something in that reporter’s voice makes Pepper’s stomach turn.

She saw what happened off of Rhodey’s bodycam—the whole event had been streamed on her tablet as they’d waited to rescue Tony.

She saw it—Scott Lang, tied to a wheelchair, gun forcibly pressed to his chin as he struggled, the way the girl’s father choked out, Is she free? “I will only say this once,” she says, and the cameras flash over the entire room. “Like those children, Scott Lang was a victim of Keene’s plot, not a participant. He was a devoted father who fought to protect his daughter until his last breath. To suggest anything else…” She thinks suddenly of little Cassie Paxton-Lang, her terrified eyes, the scars that run jaggedly down her arm. “…is something criminal. Next question.”

There’s a rush of sound—and entire roomful of people shooting her name—and it lulls into a low buzz. She can’t pick out a single person in the crowd.

Rhodey calls on one of them, pointing. “Ms. Potts—can you tell us why the kids were taken? Was it drug trafficking? Ransom? There’s some speculation about neo-Nazis? Sex trafficking?”

“Well,” starts Pepper, and she blinks to clear the blurriness from her eyes. “Um.” The question rings in her mind— sex trafficking— and sticks. She remembers suddenly what the doctors in New Hampshire told them. That doctor, her distinct look of pity—a wince. ...evidence of violent sexual trauma… his bruising is consistent…

“There was,” she says, nauseous, and then another camera flashes, and she shields her eyes from the flash. She can’t think—not with all of these cameras. “There were some signs of—well—I’m not sure—”

Rhodey’s looking at her, eyes wide, shaking his head just slightly.

Pepper swallows. What was the question? “Next question,” she says, gripping the podium, and the room erupts in sound.

MONDAY, AUGUST 27 — 12:10 PM

Eyes scanning the array of photos on the table, Tony taps the second one. “That’s him,” he says. “Don’t know his name, but—but I remember him.”

He knows all of Peter’s captors’ faces—the one with his broken arm, the small one with the chest scars, the Chinese guy who’s always looking to the blond, and the blond who’s always looking to the Chinese one. He knows the skinny meth-head, the tall black girl, Charlie and his red-haired wife. Even that brown-haired one who’s always lurking behind the camera.

He knows them by heart; they are all he’s looked at for the past four-ish months.

The officer passes another series of photos in front of him: five of them, all looking similar. Tony points out the guy again. Another series of photos, and then another—and Tony points out all of them without hesitation. Finally, just one—a young black girl, and Tony blinks in surprise. “Riri,” he says, staring at a mugshot of the girl. Her face is really messed up—so swollen with bruising that she looks lopsided, her jaw bent distinctively to one side, a dull haze of pain in her eyes. “That’s… That’s Riri.”

The officer frowns. “Veronica Demetrius Williams,” he says.

“Yeah,” says Tony, feeling something sinking in his stomach. “Riri. She was named after her dad.”

“How do you know that?” he asks.

Tony scratches at the table in front of him. The edge of the paint there is starting to peel.

He hadn’t even thought once about her since they rescued Peter, but… Last time he checked, things were getting worse for the girl. Charlie and his wife had been beating her with more frequency every time she tried to help the kids, and now… She looks pretty bad. “She was the one who delivered me stuff—is she… Is she okay?”

“Okay?” echoes the officer. He blinks at Tony, mouth slightly agape. “Mr. Stark—no offense—but why… Why would you care?”

Tony shakes his head. “She…” He sometimes wonders that himself—something in Riri’s fierce eyes, something in her pink Converse, something in her affinity for mechanical engineering… She reminded him of Peter. Like maybe—in another universe, in another world—Peter was the one beaten down by Charlie, mistakenly trying to save the world, so used to the horrors around her that she didn’t think twice. He thinks back to the last time he saw that girl—late, late Wednesday night. That hollow look in her eyes—like she’d seen something she wasn’t supposed to. She’d walked in, carrying that box full of cans—and it was only half-full. She’d set it on the counter like she always did, and she said, quietly, lingering in the door, Are we the bad guys?

Tony had dropped whatever he was holding. What? he said, and he doesn’t look at her—he doesn’t dare.

You heard me, she said harshly. Are we?

He almost choked on the words. What, he said, with a shuddery tone of anger, would make you think you’re the good guys?

Somewhere beside him, he could see her shrug. Because we’re gonna bring peace, she said. Charlie says—

Charlie beats my kid bloody on the daily, he snapped. I don’t think he should be your cornerstone of moral f*cking authority.

She was quiet for a while, stacking the cans up on the counter. Where was the rest? There was barely a few days’ worth of food in there. You said peace is having the bigger stick, she said. When you’re done making that thing—we’re—we’re gonna make sure people get help. We’re gonna save lives.

Are you? he asked. Sounds to me like all you guys do is take ‘em. How many of your friends are dead now—five? Ten?

Twelve, Riri answered quickly, and then she went quiet.

The bigger stick, he said, messing with the newest prototype, just means more power. And when you start to—to confuse peace with power—that’s when you become the bad guy. He shoved the final piece into place, and it clicked mechanically, whirring softly. I know. I was one. You can’t mix them up.

But Charlie’s different, he understands—

Does he? he said, echoing her a second time. ‘Cause from what you’ve told me, it wasn’t even his idea. So whose was it?

Riri scowled, turning away, and she smacked over one of the cans she just stacked.

Yeah. Tony scoffed. So someone high up, huh? Like I said. Just people in power scraping for more power. Power isn’t peace. Power is power.

Whatever , she said, picking up the empty box with one hand.

She looked different that day—Wednesday night, Thursday morning—like someone had lit a flame under her feet.

“Look,” says Tony, “is she okay or not?”

The officer huffs lightly. “We moved her to a juvenile detention center upstate—a secure place, somewhere that witness-killing psycho won’t get to. She’s fine, but, uh… When we got to her, she was in pretty bad shape.”

“What do you mean?” asks Tony.

“Like, someone had beaten her within an inch of her life. According to the other suspects, she’d been poisoning the others, lacing their drugs with fentanyl, and when Keene found out, he mauled the girl.” He pulls out another file, flips through it, and nods to himself. “Tox screen came back positive for all of them, even the dead ones. Looks like she’d been drugging them all for a couple days before they found out.”

Riri… She’d finally stepped up.

In a way that was gruesome and dangerous and had gotten her violently beaten—but she’d done it. She’d helped. In the only way she could.

That was probably how Cassie had managed to escape so easily—because Riri had been drugging Charlie’s entire crew, making it more difficult for them to go after the others once they escaped.

The officer in front of him pulls out another file—a photo of Riri.

Tony had wondered where she’d been during the escape. “We found her in the basem*nt of that bunker—handcuffed to a pipe, really roughed up. She held up her story, though—confessed what she did the moment we got to her. Did you… Did you know anything about this?”

Tony shakes his head, still staring at the brutalized picture of the girl. “No,” he says, “I didn’t.”

They go over everything—the extent of his captivity, Riri’s visits, the livestreaming—and everything else. Tony answers what he can, but he’s anxious to get back to Peter, so the officer does his best to fast-track the process. “Was it possible—did you make any recordings of the, um” —the officer clears his throat— “sessions?”

That’s what Charlie called them. Sessions . And that’s what Tony calls them now.

He shakes his head. “I wasn’t in control of what showed up on the screen,” he says. “And if they thought I was interfering…”

The officer nods, understanding.

“Why?” he asks, pressing on. “Is that—is that important?”

The officer grimaces, running his hand over his receding hairline. “Well—with so many people involved, we’re having a difficult time figuring out who actually harmed Peter. That’s a much bigger sentence, you understand.”

Who harmed Peter? If that’s all they wanted to know, then the answer was simple. “All of them,” says Tony without a second thought. “ All of them.”

He shakes his head. “The only person who’s actually had, uh, evidence that he harmed Peter—is Jonathan Walker” —he taps the photo from before— “he was the one harming Peter when the Avengers showed up. We have residue of the wire on his hands. And Charlie Keene—we did find some of Peter’s skin under his fingernails—and his hand size matches up to the…” The officer motions at his own throat. “...bruising. Everyone else… All we have on them is aiding and abetting.” He shakes his head.

They go over a few more things, the officer continuing to reassure him that it’s only a few minutes more. “Do you have any questions for me?” asks the officer, looking a little calmer now that his task is complete.

And Tony does—he asks quickly, quietly, about what the doctors in New Hampshire had told him.

The officer nods grimly. “Yeah—we did find some evidence in the bunker of that. Sexual activity. Evidence of intercourse as close as an hour before law enforcement showed up. sem*n from multiple parties, pubic hairs, the like. It’s all gotta come back from our forensic team, though—we can’t identify a perp just yet.”

“Multiple?” he echoes, his voice raw.

“Yes, sir,” says the police officer. “At least three.”

He goes on and on about DNA profiling, about extraction and amplification and analysis—about some case he’d done ages ago—but the police officer seems more nervous than anything else. He rubs his head—over smooth, balding scalp. “Sorry. Not used to cases like this. This is pretty bad, as it goes.” He looks up at Tony. “Sorry. We found a lot of heavy sh*t in that bunker, sir. It’s more than enough to keep them all locked up. It’ll go straight to the hearing and, with luck, keep all these guys in without bail.” The police officer glances at the door. “But between you and me,” he says, “with a high-profile case like this, you shouldn’t worry too much about that. They’ll keep those guys” —and girl, thinks Tony, thinking briefly of Riri— “as far away from you guys as possible. Bare minimum—aiding and abetting charges as of right now, at least until we get some more specific evidence.” He waves his notepad, showing Tony the notes he’d been taking during their conversation. “And this helps. A lot.”

They go through a couple more things, and finally the officer tucks away his notepad and his papers, and he stands to leave. “I’m sorry about what happened to you,” he says. “You’re a good guy. My daughter—she was a foster kid, and your donations put her through college, sir. It’s a real—it’s a real shame what happened to you.” He nods in the general direction of Peter’s door. “And your son.”

Tony doesn’t correct him. Peter is as close to his son as he can get.

The officer puts his hat back on then, and he helps Tony up from his chair. “I hope you two finally get some peace.”

Tony does the long, twitching shuffle back to the Medbay after they’re done. The police officer offers his arm and Tony gratefully takes it, leaning slightly on the man as he walks.

God, he feels old.

When the elevator halts at the Medbay floor, and the doors swing open, Tony spots a crowd of nurses and other medical staff in the hallway, talking lightly. He shoots a confused look at the officer and shuffles forward with his help. “What’s going on?” he asks, and something squeezes darkly at his chest. “Is he—is he—”

“He’s okay,” says Cho, “just…”

He sees now that behind the mass of medical staff are two—no, three—policemen, looking worried and tense.

Tony shoves his way through the crowd to grab at the doorframe to Peter’s hospital room; a coiled wire loosens in his chest, and he exhales heavily. The kid’s in the bed, pale and discolored with scars—blotchy burns from a blowtorch, thin white cables from a knife, dark spots from cattle prods, track marks on his inner elbows and wrists—and a lingering overall bruising that makes his entire body seem like the dark, churning sky of a coming storm.

And his throat. The finger-marks around his neck are so clear , like he’s seeing Charlie himself wring his hands around Peter’s throat again, climbing on top of him and constricting with such force that Peter’s scream came to a strangled, flailing halt.

It’s like watching Peter go limp again, watching him fight for breath and lose . It’s like Peter’s strapped down to that table, wrists limp and trickling blood, his body slowing and slowing until at last he slackens—

“Tony,” says Dr. Cho. “Hey.”

He blinks—returning to himself, grounded, two feet on the hospital floor.

“Peter’s fine,” she says, “stable as ever. But we do have a bit of a situation.”

“Situation?” he says, and his mind goes into a million-and-one scenarios. “What kind of…”

He looks past Cho then to the group congregated in the hallway: two policemen and a few medical staff in blue scrubs. One nurse in particular—a large, brown-haired man—is speaking soberly with another nurse, rubbing the back of his neck.

Cho pulls him aside, her hand grazing his shoulder, and she hesitates. “Peter…” she starts. “Peter touched one of the nurses.” She glances down the hall at that large nurse, who’s still talking in hushed tones to the other.

Tony glances back into Peter’s room, where the kid lies eerily still. “Touched?”

“Groped,” she clarifies, “one of the nurses. He was pretty out of it after the police came—nurse showed up to change his IV, and he…” She waves vaguely.

Again, Tony glances back inside Peter’s hospital room, where the kid lays on the bed, his head tilted to one side. His eyes are open and unblinking, focused somewhere on the wall—but if he didn’t know any better, he’d think the kid was sleeping. “That’s not his fault,” Tony says, feeling an ache in his chest. “He—he doesn’t know.”

He tries not to think about it.

He tries really, really hard not to think about it.

“I know!” Dr. Cho says quickly, and she winces at her own outburst, biting her lip; down the hall, the other medical workers look at her; her hair’s a mess, tied back in a sort-of bun. “Sorry, I know,” she says, quieter. “Just… a lot of paperwork when something like this happens.”

Tony returns to the kid then, limping slightly, finding a chair beside his bed. He barely moves as Tony approaches; his gaze looks blank, like his mind’s been wiped clean. And when Tony takes his hand, he doesn’t even twitch. He slow-blinks a little, tilts his chin up, and bares his neck slightly to Tony like he’s a deer in the iron-sights of a crossbow.

On his other side, a female nurse fiddles quickly with the end of his nasogastric tube, injecting a few milliliters of fluid with a thick-mouthed syringe, glancing warily at the kid as she does.

Somehow, Tony thinks this might be worse. Seeing them just tamper with him and not lifting a finger to stop them—just taking it, closing his eyes and laying so still like he’s splayed cold on an autopsy table. “I’m right here, buddy,” he says, and the kid doesn’t even blink. “I’m here. I’m not going anywhere.”

MONDAY, AUGUST 27 — 12:46 PM

The police leave quickly after that. Apparently, they couldn’t pull much information from the little girl, Cassie Paxton-Lang; as soon as they started asking questions, she just squeezed her eyes shut and hid in her mother’s arms.

Peter is put under general anesthesia for a procedure in the afternoon, something to do with his recovering heart. Dr. Cho mentions a ton of medical terms he doesn’t understand, but Pepper nods along and seems to be alright with it.

They settle into some kind of rhythm; the doctors are checking his labs every four hours, and they’re limiting medical staff as much as they can to women. Although Dr. Cho keeps trying to start Peter on eating by mouth, she eventually leaves the tube in. “We tried to get him to eat,” says Helen, looking more haggard than ever, “but he just looked at us like we were trying to… I don’t know, Tony. I’m doing the best I can.”

The main problem was their malnutrition—both Peter and the Lang girl are now pretty stable, though. They’ve even got the girl eating some softer foods by mouth; Helen says the most important step now is keeping their food intake stable.

An onslaught of other physicians float through Peter’s room—Helen keeps Peter fully sedated the entire time, adjusting it only when the doctors required more conscious responses.

Some of it—it makes Tony feel sick. The way Peter kind of twists and writhes as he wakes, his eyes immediately scanning the room for some kind of threat. The way he pulls at his restraints—the way he gives up on his restraints, too. Since arriving in the Medbay, Peter has spent so much of this time sleeping; and when he’s awake, apathetic or frantic seem to be his only two settings.

He’s not the kid Tony used to know.

This kid… He’s been conditioned to act this way: to be afraid of every person who enters a room, to shy away from any touch, to see every movement as a possible threat. To panic the way that he does upon realizing that Cassie is not beside him—it’s disconcerting. What could they have done to scare him so badly? What could’ve happened when the girl was not by his side?

Tony’s mind spirals, darker and darker and darker, and he thinks back to the livestreams. Of bloody cuts down Peter’s thigh, black-yellow bruises blossoming over his ribs, inflamed burns lining his back.

What did they do when Tony wasn’t watching?

What did they do to his kid?

Some of it he knows—the evidence is written all over Peter’s skin.

But some of it he doesn’t.

And that’s what scares him the most.

He’d watched—day after day, week after week, month after month—as Peter’s mind deteriorated under the torture he endured.

“His knee is bigger than his thigh,” Happy says as they sit side-by-side in Peter’s room. The man looks strange suddenly, foreign, his face tainted with something disturbed. “Tony…”

“I know,” he says. Happy forgets that Tony's seen all of this. All of this. He's seen, week after week, month after month, as Peter's body starved, eating away at itself as it struggled to survive. “I remember.”

That evening, Helen gathers the three of them—himself, Pepper, Happy—for another meeting to discuss Peter’s state. That’s all they do now: talk about Peter.

Pepper sits far away from him then, her head tipped against the wall, strawberry-blonde hair tapered into a fraying braid. She looks tired.

Happy paces the other side of the room in slow strides; he’s gained some weight, and each step sounds heavy, like an anvil dropping.

And for some reason, Steve Rogers is there, too, his thumb still trapped in a cast, dressed in a black hoodie and sweats, lingering in the doorway like he’s haunting the damn place. But blond and unyielding as ever, Steve folds his arms and watches the meeting from where he stands. That rainbow of layered bruising on his face has weakened into pale yellows and speckled reds, although stitches still trace the cuts there: there’re three distinct ones that slash across his face like a claw, from the top of his skull to the bottom of his jaw. It’s like someone hit him…and kept hitting him until he bled.

He supposes that must be what happened to him.

Tony hasn’t really spent a lot of time thinking about what happened to Steve Rogers in that bunker. All he knows is—he spent half a day in there, and he came out shaken, quiet and brooding.

Steve Rogers spent half a day in there, and Peter spent one hundred and forty.

God.

Tony continues, “I thought we were” —he rubs his forehead with the back of his twitching hand— “supposed to be getting Peter some kind of therapist, or someone to help him at least—”

“We were, we were,” says Dr. Cho, and across the table the woman looks tense. “Just—I mean, the level of trauma alone … This isn’t something a run-of-the-mill psychiatrist can help someone through; and besides that, I have to alert them to the risk by even speaking to him—”

“f*ck the risk,” he snaps. “My kid—he’s—he’s suffering , he’s—”

“That bounty hunter,” interrupts Cho, “has scared off every good psychiatrist for miles, I mean… These people have families, too, Tony—”

“I don’t give a sh*t about their—”

“—and besides that, this has to be someone we can trust. I don’t want the first person we hire to go off spilling all of Peter’s personal information to TMZ.”

She’s right—he knows she’s right—but he doesn’t want to hear it.

“He’s not speaking ,” says Tony. “He’s not… He needs some kind of shrink—I don’t care who!”

Helen rubs at her forehead. “Well—the restraints—on top of the isolation… It might’ve exacerbated his delirium. As soon as we take them off—”

“Then take them off!”

A difficult sigh, like she’s having trouble breathing properly. “Tony…”

“No—he hasn’t said a word since you put those things on. This whole Hannibal Lector thing we have going—it’s over. We’re done. You’re taking my kid out of those things.”

“He was barely speaking before,” says Helen stiffly, and Tony wants to hit her, hard. “Respectively, that’s not much of a change.”

In his peripheral, Tony can see Steve Rogers stand up a little straighter. “Now, hold on,” he says. His blond hair looks clean and washed—he must’ve showered recently. “The kid was talking when I met him. He was, I mean—he was lucid.”

“But what about after the escape?” Cho prompts. “Was he talking then?”

“No,” he says. “But they’d—they’d strangled him by then, so of course he wasn’t—”

“Was he lucid then?”

Steve sours. His jaw goes tight, and he looks down, away from the doctor.

Dr. Cho grimaces. “It makes sense,” she says. “From what I've learned of that day, your capture introduced a lot of new variables into the mix.” She opens her hand then, and she counts these ‘variables’ on her fingers. “You moved into their room, a spot it seems was only occupied by the two kids, frightening them; you attacked someone who consistently raped him—right?—who hadn’t been stopped ever before; and you encouraged him to escape.” Three fingers up. “And his mind was already very scattered at this point, right? He didn’t recognize who you were?”

Steve nods stiffly.

Tony didn’t know that. He didn’t know that Peter couldn’t recognize Captain f*cking America when he tried to rescue him. Peter had that face plastered on his bedroom wall. On half his Avengers T-shirts. He loved Captain America.

And he didn’t even recognize him?

Tony feels sick; sick, like there’s a plagued rat clawing at his intensities. “Oh, God,” he mutters, pressing his hand to his stomach.

Dr. Cho is still talking. “And once he did go, in the arms of someone you said yourself was the ‘only person he trusted,’ that person was brutally murdered in front of him, and then…” She must’ve seen the autopsy report; they’ve all seen the autopsy report, the one of the New Hampshire doctor. The police showed it to them. There were remnants of bloody handprints on the doctor’s coat, light post-mortem bruising where someone had held him, the way a child holds a parent. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure that one out. “…attacked the corpse, all the while Peter held onto it, clinging to the last bit of safety he had.”

Tony swallows.

It’s starting to click now.

To Peter, this wasn’t a failed escape attempt turned Avengers rescue.

This was—this was all—one big punishment .

“And even after all of that,” she says, “he was strangled, forced back inside, and lost the little girl, and then—then he was then harmed even more. Do you see how those few hours might be enough to make someone crack?”

Steve tilts his head against the door, closing his eyes, but he doesn’t respond.

Dr. Cho turns back to Tony and Pepper; his fiancée has a hand over her mouth. “As soon as he’s a little better,” says Cho, “we will—for now, I’m not risking his physical health for his mental health.”

“But Peter—” tries Tony.

“I know you don’t like it—and I’m sorry. But I’m just doing my job. I’m doing…” She huffs. “I’m doing my best.”

MONDAY, AUGUST 27 — 3:31 PM

Peter doesn’t know where he is.

Everything’s so confusing—a house flipped upside down—and there’s a constant wet pulse of sedatives pumping through him.

He knows what sedatives feel like. The forced calm, the helpless drowsiness, the drowning feeling.

They’re coming for him—they’re coming for him— and he’s strapped down—

The sleek whine of fear slides down his back in a cold shiver.

He can’t remember—he doesn’t know what’s happening—

What did he do this time? What did he do?

Where’s Cassie? Where’s Cassie?

No, they took her— they took her away, they killed her, they killed the doctor they KILLED THE DOCTOR AND BLOOD SPLATTERED LIKE SOUR MILK—

A surge of panic—

—it’s f*cking blinding—

They’re coming for him THEY’RE COMING FOR HIM

HE’S STRAPPED DOWN—

He pulls at his wrists, at his ankles, and his face spills wet and warm. He’s cold—and everything hurts—and no one’s coming for him, he’s gonna die like this—

No, no, no…

People wax and wane before his eyes and he watches— he’s scared, he’s so f*cking scared, and he wants May to kiss his head. Where’s Cassie? Where’s Cassie ?

He’s in the ROOM—HE MUST BE IN THE ROOM—HE’S TIED DOWN AGAIN—

Charlie, please… Charlie…

He’s gonna—he’s gonna—HE’S GONNA—

PLEASE—

He twists and twists and twists, and he can’t f*cking think, and his mind scatters into a thousand pieces—glued haphazardly back together—and he’s trapped, he’s trapped again, he’s never gonna leave this f*cking place…

Charlie’s thick-fingered hands around his neck.

Mason’s hammer cold against his arm.

Beck’s knee pressing deep into his back.

He’s faceup—but he feels like he’s upside down, strung up by his ankles, like Charlie’s face is looming before him—CHARLIE WHERE’S CHARLIE HE’S GONNA HE’S GONNA—

TUESDAY, AUGUST 28 — 8:08 AM

Cassie doesn’t want to eat.

She doesn’t want to talk to the weird lady in the pink pajamas.

She doesn’t want to take a nap.

She just wants Peter.

She wants Peter. She wants Peter so bad it’s like an elephant is standing on her chest, and she starts to cry. “I want Peter,” she says, and suddenly it’s a sob. “I want Peter, I want Peter… Peter… Peter…”

Maggie shushes her, but she’s inconsolable, biting at the thumb and starting to push at Maggie’s chest.

She has to be quiet, she knows, and in her head the voice whispers in Peter’s voice: Quiet, Stinger, you gotta be quiet. But where is he? Where is he?

Mommy rubs her back slowly, and it makes Cassie want to cry again. She forgot what it felt like to have Mommy’s hand on her back. “He’s in the other room,” she says quietly. “Right next door, honey.”

Cassie didn’t realize she said that out loud.

They have him. They must have him. It’s not time—it doesn’t feel like time, right? So they must be taking him to the Room, but she doesn’t hear him screaming. Is it time? Is it time?

“Time for what, baby?”

Cassie startles, glancing up at her mother. The warm blonde strands, the point of her nose, the pink in her cheeks… And she just stares . She forgot what her mommy looked like, forgot what it was like to be held like this, to feel someone’s gaze that wasn’t cold and hard. It’s overwhelming.

But Peter—Peter’s face is the one face that she knows. The one face she wants to see. He’s the only thing that keeps her safe, and he’s been gone for too long.

The last time he was gone like this, he’d thrown up and collapsed on the ground like a dead fish, and the bad guys dragged him away like he was dead. That was so long ago… When the doctor was still bright-eyed, when Peter was still a little smiley, when Cassie could still breathe without sounding like a dying animal.

“He’s…” Cassie whispers, and she’s frightened enough at the thought of saying it out loud. “He’s gonna…”

She panics then, pushing her head into her mother’s chest. Hide, hide, hide.

Charlie has him—Charlie’s had him too long—and he’s gonna kill him. Charlie always said it, always threatened it: I’M GONNA f*ckING KILL YOU, PARKER!! I’M GONNA CUT YOUR LITTLE THROAT OPEN AND THEN STARK WILL SEE, HUH? HE’LL SEE HOW MUCH HIS SPIDER CAN REALLY BLEED! MISERABLE LITTLE FREAK!!

He’s killing him. Charlie’s killing him. He’s gonna kill Peter and Cassie will never see him again.

ONE MORE WORD, PARKER, AND I’LL CUT OFF YOUR f*ckING TONGUE—STOP IT! STOP THAT! OPEN YOUR MOUTH PARKER! OPEN YOUR f*ckING MOUTH! YOU’RE GONNA DIE, YOU HEAR ME? STARK, YOU WATCHING? KID’S GONNA DIE CHOKING ON HIS OWN f*ckING BLOOD—

“It’s alright, baby, it’s alright…” Mommy’s hand on her back, on her head, stroking so softly that it feels like a dream. Cassie hides in her arms—hides from the world, from Charlie and his guys, from the red-haired lady and everyone else.

Peter always holds her like this.

Cassie remembers the last time she saw Charlie—how could she forget?

Charlie with the hammer. The first swing and the police officer’s head thunking against metal. There was no blood the first hit, but it spilled over like overcooked sauce, brains like ravioli and blood like tomato sauce, flooding the side of her head. CHARLIE! the officer cried, and it wasn’t the way Peter cries, CHARLIE, GETAWAY FROM ME, GET THE f*ck AWAY, or how Mason says fearfully, Charlie, should we give him some more–uh, food?

It was a familiar cry. Like Cassie would saw to Jim or Peter would say to her. It was a startled, confused familiar cry—and it was followed by blood. So much blood.

Is that what Charlie will do to her? Charlie’s gonna… He’s gonna…

“Cassie?”

Cassie startles badly, her whole body cowering— where is he— and when she opens her eyes there’s the weird lady in the pink pajamas looking at her. “He’s not here. Charlie’s not here. Can we name the people in the room again, Cassie?”

She’s still shaken by the thought of him—of his wild dark beard, of his crazy eyes, of that hammer swinging at his side.

“Cassie.”

She clutches her stuffed toy—is pink-pajama lady gonna take it? What does she owe her for it? Is the pink-pajama lady like Beck? Is she gonna… Is she gonna… She squeezes her eyes shut.

“Cassie, let’s name the people in the room, please.”

She pries her eyes open again, terrified of what she’ll see—and finds the pink-pajama lady sitting at the end of the bed. “M-Mommy,” she whispers, her voice coming out whimpery and small. “Ji-Jim.”

The woman nods. “Good, good.”

“A—A—Ava.” She hugs her new zebra tight, the way Mommy is hugging her, and she buries her nose in its silky fur, inhaling in hitchy sobs. “Me. Me.”

“And what about me, Cassie? You remember who I am?”

Pink-pajama lady. Beck—Mr. Beck—why is she thinking of him?

“You remember what I said? We’re in a hospital. You’re safe here—no more bunker, no more…”

The woman’s voice fades.

Cassie’s not supposed to talk to strangers; Peter always says she’s not supposed to talk to strangers. She thinks of the book—of that book that Beck read to her, and of Peter’s screaming, furious voice: “I don’t just make up these rules for no f*cking reason! I make them to keep you safe— to keep us safe! This isn’t a f*cking playground, Cassie! You can’t—”

She remembers how he shook, how he punched the wall with all the strength in his fragile body.

We’re not in kindergarten class! You can’t just disobey the rules just because you feel like it!

The shaking, the shaking. How he’d trembled like a ghost possessed, how his eyes went cloudy and then very, very dark. “God — f*cking—damn it!”

Mr. Beck’s sickly-sweet voice echoes in her mind. Good boy. Good girl.

And then Peter’s louder, frantic, hysterical: “This? This? This f*cking thing! I told you not to take anything from him!”

Cassie shakes her head. Peter says no. “Not—” she chokes out. “Not—supposed—to—”

She’s not supposed to take any presents—is her zebra a present? Peter knows—Peter will tell her— where is Peter? Where is Peter?

“Okay, okay,” says the pink-pajama lady, soft and softer, “let’s go see Peter again. You wanna see him?”

Cassie nods shakily, sucking at her thumb, gnawing at the skin there.

“Okay. Maggie—can you carry…”

“Yeah. I’ve got her.”

Then Mommy’s getting up, and Cassie clutches her neck with sudden terror— wait, wait, wait— A hushing sound from her, and a hand stroking gently at the back of her neck. “We’re gonna see Peter,” she whispers, “gonna see Peter, honey.”

Not the hallway— not the hallway, she’s not supposed to be in the hallway— she screams and grabs onto her mother, clinging tightly to her—and that hand just keeps rubbing, soothing, easing— “You’re okay, baby,” she says, “I’ve got you. I’ve got you.” Then they’re in the next room, standing in the doorway, and Maggie presses gently into her sad, unfolding her arms a bit to loosen her grip on Cassie. “Look, baby—Peter’s right there. Remember?”

And it takes a minute, but Cassie does turn and she sees him— Peter.

He looks weird, and she doesn’t like it. White bandages wrapped around his arms, a plastic tube threaded into his nose and taped down the side of his face. His mouth slightly open as he sleeps—eyes closed, on his back.

Peter doesn’t sleep on his back.

Peter sleeps on his side.

Why is he sleeping on his back?

There’s a man beside Peter with a dark, shaggy beard, and for a second, Cassie thinks it’s Charlie—

She shrieks and cowers, trembling, in her mother’s arms.

“Dead,” she whispers.

“Not dead,” says the lady in the pink pajamas. “He’s just sleeping, Cassie.”

She bites at her thumb, feeling the tip of it press at the roof of her mouth. “Peter’s sleeping,” she whispers. “He’s sleeping. He’s sleeping not dead sleeping not dead sleeping not dead.”

Her mom hushes her, making that quiet cooing sound, and Cassie hides her face again. Peter’s here. Peter’s here. Peter’s here.

“I don’t—I don’t—” There’s that tremble in her legs, that familiar panic weaving its way up her spine. “Mommy, where—where—are they?”

“Where are who, baby?”

Her brown eyes shift to the door and back. Then she shakes her head, squeezing that stuffed animal tight. “The—the—the—” She shakes her head again, almost violent. “ Them.”

“They’re gone,” says Mommy, stroking lightly at the back of her aching head. “Locked up. You’re not in that place anymore. You’re safe, honey, and Peter is, too.”

Cassie doesn’t think Mommy understands.

They always come; they always come for her and for Peter.

Chapter 31: gone to waste

Notes:

i'm really loving all the feedback i'm getting, and i was writing some stuff for last chapter that i never used - so here we go, a little more early stuff haha. just some non-peter chapters, nothing special.

chap title from 'waste' by kxllswxtch, the sped up version

CW: nothing? maybe? references to violence? good for me haha, imagine having no content warnings, wild

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

TUESDAY, AUGUST 28 — 9:16 AM

Sam Wilson and Nat Romanoff have spent one day searching through the Lang-Paxton household for Cassie’s personal items—and the rest of the idea trying to track down Peter Parker’s belongings. It was a task much more difficult than they originally anticipated.

Because May Parker and her nephew Peter disappeared literally overnight, their landlord simply packed up their things and kept them a couple weeks in case they returned, and then sold, donated, or tossed the rest.

All of their original belongings—are gone.

So Tuesday morning, they head over to the compound to try to find some of Peter’s things, if they can.

The Avengers compound is empty. Hollowed out. At this point, everything in the compound has been packed up and shipped back to the Tower. But for some reason—on the second floor of Tony and Pepper’s personal building, there is Peter’s bedroom.

And unlike everything else in the compound, Peter’s bedroom is completely untouched.

When Sam lets go of the doorknob, he finds a thin layer of grayed dust on his hand; mildly disturbed, he wipes his palm on his pants to erase it.

Inside, Peter’s bedroom is as normal as any teenage boy’s.

It’s Star Wars themed; there’s a plastic R2D2 on his nightstand, an array of those old Jedi Apprentice books from the nineties, and a retractable lightsaber that Nat picks up and waves around as Sam peruses.

There’s a stainless-steel water bottle beside his twin bed. A Midtown High sweatshirt hanging on the closet door. A framed photo of him and his aunt at a comic book convention the year before. An array of Batman comics on his bookshelf. A Men in Black poster on his wall.

He’s a kid.

He’s just a kid .

Behind him, Natasha drags a duffel bag forward and tosses it onto the ground between them. “Fill her up, Wilson,” she says. They shuffle through the kids’ dresser drawers, but there’s not much there: several sets of pajama pants, some boxers, a couple T-shirts, and a worn MIT sweatshirt that looks like it belongs to Stark. In the second drawer, a notebook with only eight pages filled, a box of unopened legos, and a well-used DS with a Pokémon game still inside. My nephew has one of those, Sam thinks blankly.

He cracks it open—the game is open, in the middle of a battle. Peter’s playing as some kind of water creature, and the little animated thing is hopping from one foot to another as though waiting for its next command.

It’s like a punch to the chest.

It’s so incredibly small, yet somehow Sam can feel it’s unfairness weighing on his shoulders—Peter Parker was kidnapped halfway through a Pokémon battle he never got to finish.

Sam Wilson shoves the DS closed and tosses it into Nat’s duffle bag. She’s still messing with the lightsaber, flipping it from one hand to another like it’s a scimitar instead of a plastic toy.

He throws open Peter’s closet doors; inside, there are three more sweatshirts, a pair of heavy-duty nylon snowboots, and a pile of crisply wrapped presents, bows and all. “Pepper wrapped those,” says Nat, “She’s good at that kind of thing.” Pepper must have gotten them for the kid; maybe his birthday passed during his kidnapping.

Nat passes over the gifts, too, dropping them one by one into the duffel bag without opening them. Then she returns to that retractable lightsaber, pushes it in until it clicks, and tosses it in the air, flipping it into her palm. “You know,” she says, as Sam adds a row of hand-drawn graphic novels to the duffel, “I’ve seen a lot of dark sh*t in my time.”

Sam makes a hmph of assertion, kneeling by the duffel.

“But this?” Nat huffs, laying the lightsaber onto the kid’s Star Wars sheets. “You don’t see any worse than this, Wilson.”

Sam zips up the duffel bag, all of Peter’s belongings inside. “At least he’s…” Alive, he wants to say, but with the state Peter’s in, he’s not sure if that’s the right word for it. “At least he got to come home.”

Nat makes this strange sound, like she’s been kicked, and then she stands up, picking up the duffel. And as they go, closing Peter Parker’s bedroom door, she says, quietly, “I’m not sure that Peter would say the same.”

And they don’t know what Peter would say—that’s the thing.

Nat knows this. That Peter hasn’t said anything at all. Not about what happened. Nothing except for Cassie and Mr. Stark and the occasional please, no.

And him saying nothing…. What could be worse?

TUESDAY, AUGUST 28 — 11:23 AM

Tony and Pepper spend Tuesday morning remaking Peter’s hospital room.

Nat and Sam bring back a whole duffel bag of Peter’s things from the compound; and another bag filled with Cassie’s things, too.

It’s like old times—almost—like unpacking into a new apartment, into a new house, into a new compound.

While Peter’s gone for some kind of scan, Tony and Pepper remake his bed. Tuck in some light blue sheets, cover it in a comforter patterned with Millenium Falcon blueprints. One of the nurses helps them do it; Nurse Kaelyn’s an emergency nurse, but she took one look at that half-open duffel bag and started putting up posters. There’s one covered in math puns that Pepper remembers putting up on Pete’s birthday last year. God, this kid.

And as she’s folding up another blanket, bending back slightly to alleviate some of the pain in her lower back, she finds that Tony’s been staring at her across the room for just a little too long.

“What?” she snaps, but it’s more of an accusation, and the word comes out for harsher than she meant it to.

Tony ducks his head; his hair hangs a little shaggy from his scalp. “I just…” he says. “...keep thinking I’m dreaming you.”

That’s not how Pepper feels at all.

They haven’t spent more than a few hours together since Peter arrived—Pepper spends all of her time talking to lawyers and doctors, while Tony mostly sleeps.

She shouldn’t hate him for it—how much he rests these days—but she does. She spent months seething, thinking that Tony hit her just for the hell of it, and now he comes back, apologizes once and goes straight to sleep?

No amount of sad looks and twitching hands is going to alleviate that pressure in her chest saying—that’s him. That’s the guy who got you pregnant and abandoned you when you needed him most.

Pepper knows it’s not his fault. She does. She does.

Kind of.

They put up some of Peter’s pictures up on the walls: old ones of him and May and his uncle Ben, group photos of him and Ned and MJ, and even some of him and Tony. A baby picture, too, of him with his parents.

“How long have you known?” Tony asks, his voice hoarse; his eyes drop to her stomach.

“Three and a half months,” she answers quickly, tearing off another stretch of tape and putting up another picture. Just over a month into Peter’s captivity. Not that Pepper knew he was kidnapped at that point, but still.

Tony grimaces. “And how long since… did you know… That I…”

That he was locked up? That he wasn’t just burying himself into his work to avoid seeing her?

She sighs, turns around, and picks up another photo from Peter’s bed. “A month and a half,” she says, and she can hear the bitterness creep into her voice. One and a half months ago, Happy came to her with Peter’s friends on his tail, and they told her: Peter’s missing.

But before that?

Two months she spent without knowing what was going on. Two months she spent obsessing over why Tony had hit her, just in case she could get her baby’s father back. Two months she spent killing herself trying to figure out what she had done so wrong—to have the man hit her, to grow his baby inside of her. Two months of figuring out how to love her future child.

Two months of losing her love for Tony Stark.

She’s not trying to make him feel guilty. She’s not. She just…

They used to talk, goddamn it, they used to… They used to tell each other everything. Now she’s twenty-eight weeks pregnant, Tony’s weaning off stimulants like he’s a f*cking co*ke addict, and the kid they used to joke about adopting is so buried in trauma that he’s tied to a bed and can hardly speak.

A long silence.

“What are we?” he asks, when they’ve finished unpacking that stupid duffel bag, “now?”

“I don’t know,” Pepper answers, because she doesn’t.

Then he leans in her direction, arm outstretched—

—and her response is automatic. She curls away from him, half-protecting her pregnant belly.

And Tony’s hand lingers in the air, goes slightly slack, and then returns to his side. “Sorry,” he says.

A sudden hate hits her, like a freight train. She snaps, “I suppose that’s what happens when you hit your fiancèe and leave her for five months.”

She’s being cruel to him—needlessly so.

But she doesn’t take it back.

Tony winces as though she’s physically struck him, and for some reason that just makes her more angry. “I had to,” he whispers, “you know that, right? I had to.”

Pepper’s already forgiven him for this—but she doesn’t want to play nice anymore. “Couldn’t have found another way to tell me to f*ck off,” she spits. “Just jumped straight to domestic abuse, right?”

He looks at her with this weary f*cking gaze. “I—”

“Yeah. You had to. It was the only way. I know.”

And Tony lets out this little breath of a sigh, and he tilts his head into his hands. “I’m tired, Pep,” he says quietly. “I don’t want to fight.”

It’s so unlike him to just give in like this, to bare his proverbial belly for the kill; Tony usually speaks at a mile a minute, and now…

She doesn’t know why she’s saying these things to him—maybe it’s the headache pressing at her skull or the weight of the baby pulling at her pelvis, or maybe it’s the way he keeps looking at her like she’s his saving grace— “Right,” she says coldly. “Bigger fish.”

Tony just looks at her with that sad gaze—and she can’t look at him. She can’t.

So with some minor struggle, she gets up from the chair, exits Peter’s room, and heads for the hallway.

TUESDAY, AUGUST 28 — 11:19 PM

Besides the residential floor he’s currently living on, Harley Keener only has access to three floors: the cafeteria floor, a recreational floor, and the Medbay—which Ms. Potts said he could access if he needed any medical help.

And no, he doesn’t need medical help.

But he’s really goddamn bored.

So on day three of his stay at Avengers Tower, Harley climbs into the elevator, hits the button for the Medbay floor, and waits for the doors to close.

The morgue up in New Hampshire sent him the electronic copies of his dad’s letters—the ones he wrote in prescription pads for days after he was captured, up until the day he was killed.

And Harley honestly can’t bring himself to read them. He keeps pulling up the files and then closing them. Harley lost his father for years of his childhood because of his alcoholism; when he was ten, the man just up and left—didn’t come back until he’d sobered up. And by that point, his mom had a new boyfriend, Harley was fourteen, and they’d figured out how to live without him. And yeah, Harley loves him, but…

He doesn’t want to think about it too much.

The elevator doors ping and then slide open with a metallic sound.

Harley’s not even properly dressed; he’s got on a pair of flannel pants, wool socks, and a black sweatshirt that some Stark Industries intern dropped off for him. He tucks his hands into his pockets and shuffles forward into the hallway.

The Medbay is a lot whiter than the other floors—white tiles, white walls. He supposes that’s how it has to be, given that it’s a medical floor. He passes a row of door-open empty rooms, and finally one with the door closed. There’s a whiteboard on the door, and in blue marker is written: May Parker.

Stepping his socked feet quietly across the floor, he pushes open the door. Inside, a woman lays on the hospital bed with her eyes closed. The woman has long dark hair, a pronounced nose, and thin brows. Maybe forty-five or fifty. A plastic tube is taped down to her mouth, connected to a nearby machine that’s pushing air in mechanical spurts— in, out, in, out.

She looks dead.

Harley doesn’t like being in there, so he exits quickly, shutting the door behind him. Back in the hallway, he passes another few empty rooms with their doors open.

At last he finds some more occupied rooms: rooms one, two, and three. He hears voices inside the third one; he peers inside to find a little bald girl sitting on a hospital bed, sleeping in her blonde mother’s arms. He remembers that kid from the plane, maybe. With the bandages wrapped around her head.

What happened to her?

He shuffles to the next door—Room Two—and he reads the name on the door, written in red dry-erase marker: PETER. No last name. Harley peers inside the door’s window.

Inside, there’s a boy sleeping beneath a patterned comforter, the sheets drawn up over his naked chest.

But he looks…

He looks like someone’s ripped him apart .

He’s covered in mutilated scarring—dark, pinkish marks cover most of the left side of his face, and down one shoulder Harley can spot these quarter-sized burns—cigarettes? It’s hard to pick out individual ones with how much the scars layer: long slashes crisscrossing over one another, short white slices over his neck.

“Oh my god, ” he whispers, mostly to himself.


There’s barely a patch of unblemished skin on the guy.

He might remember this kid from the plane, too—but he thought… Honestly, when he’d first spotted the sheet-swaddled body that Tony Stark was carrying—all skinny and pale and mutilated—he thought it was a corpse.

He’d never seen the corpse actually take a breath.

Yet here, he is. Alive and breathing, with tubes trailing from both hands and one threading beneath the comforter—a catheter, maybe.

Footsteps behind him, and Harley jumps, spinning around—it’s Captain America, and he grabs the kid by the back of his hoodie, yanks him backwards, and shoves him into the opposite wall. “Who the hell let you in here?”

“Uh,” he tries, “Ms. Potts said that I could—”

Captain America physically drags him back down the hallway, and Harley’s helpless to it, flailing helplessly as the Captain brings him back to the elevator. “Whoa, man—no one tells me what’s going on—and it’s boring up there, so—and who was that kid? What happened to him? I think I saw him on the plane—”

Captain America pushes him against the wall next to the elevator and impatiently presses the button with one hand.

“Who is he? He looks, like, really bad—”

“That,” says Captain America with a cutting tone, “is the boy your father saved. Show some respect.”

Harley shuts up. “Oh,” he says emptily. They look about the same age, although the boy—Peter, right?—seems to have been shredded on him. “What’s—what happened to him?”

Captain America grimaces then, and he answers with a who, not a what: “Charlie Keene. And his goddamn friends.”

Harley’s heard that name—Charles Keene, brother of Officer Julia Keene—drifted over the news the past couple days.

He’s heard the spiel: a police officer’s brother was a drug addict, delusional as hell, kidnapped some kids and tortured them in a dungeon or something; every news outlet is saying something different now: drug trafficking, serial killers, ransoms, neo-Nazis, sex dungeons…

And no one knows how—but somehow, Tony Stark was involved.

Captain America just shakes his head then; his bruises look better, having mostly faded since Harley last saw him. He doesn’t say anything to Harley. He just presses the lit button again with his good hand, waits for the elevator to arrive, and shoves him inside.

Harley doesn’t fight him on it. Somehow, coming down to the Medbay out of pure boredom doesn’t seem like such a good idea anymore.

An ache of guilt threads through his chest as the elevator doors close.

someday (i'll make it out of here) - the_color_pomegranate (1)

Notes:

AND GHOSTKITTN MADE SOME FANART FOR THIS!!! ITS THE GREATEST THING IVE EVER WITNESSED EVERYONE PLZ TAKE A LONG LOOK AT IT. THIS IS HOW I IMAGINED EVERY CHARACTER AND U GOT THEM ALL EXACTLY RIGHT!!! KUDOS TIMES A MILLION!!

https://imgur.com/a/C9AKZHz

i'm procrastinating other sh*t so much haha
see y'all next week!

Chapter 32: my baby, my baby

Notes:

sorry it's an hour late but here y go, chaps

CW: flashback of violence, STDs, hospital stuff,

there's supposed to be way more, so u might get the back half of this chapter sometime this week actually lol

and sorry that the fanart link doesn't work, i can't figure out how to make the image actually show up :( if anyone knows how, plz lemme k

title from mitski's 'i bet on losing dogs'

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

FRIDAY, AUGUST 31 — 7:41 AM

Wednesday and Thursday go by without much incident.

The bunker perpetrators—which the media has lovingly dubbed ‘The Stark Seven’—have all been charged with enough violent crime that they are denied bail. Each has been moved to separate holding facilities in the state of New York in anticipation of their next hearing.

All except for Riri Williams—who has been moved to a secure juvenile detention center near the city.

Cassie Paxton-Lang is still a terrified recluse. The only times they’ve managed to soothe her into some sense of calm is when they allow her to visit Peter—and only while the kid is asleep, for fear of another stairwell incident.

Peter heals up a little more, his body slowly but surely strengthening—he even gains a pound. It’s one pound. One damn pound. He’s gone from eighty-six to eighty-seven pounds—and somehow, that’s the greatest miracle that Tony’s ever witnessed.

Then Friday comes, and it has officially been one week since Peter and Tony got free.

One week.

One week, and it seems like it’s been an eternity.

Friday morning, Dr. Cho weans Peter off of the heavy sedatives and into a lighter, more lucid state.

They’re sitting in Peter’s newly decorated room as she does it, monitoring his vitals as he comes out of it. Pepper’s off somewhere talking on the phone—to their legal team, Tony thinks.

Dr. Cho’s been looking over Peter’s charts for the past few days—making sure that she catches every caveat, every wrinkle. She even printed it all out on paper and displays it in her office like an episode of Criminal Minds—old charts and new alike. “Tony,” she says, “I’ve got some good news for you. Peter—his healing rate has actually increased.”

“What?” he says.

“With all of these risk factors—all of Peter's injuries—layering on the refeeding syndrome should’ve killed him outright. But his body is working at least double what we’re used to.”

Peter said that after his scare with the Vulture, his body re-mutated—gave him those sticky hands, as he called them. Sort of…scared his body into another mutation. And it seems like his body did the same while he was imprisoned. Upped his healing factor, adjusted his ocular system, and that’s only the ones I’ve noticed.

Tony doesn’t understand. He doesn’t understand any of it.

He’s doing…better?

“Tony,” Cho says again. “His mutation saved his life.”

Tony doesn’t even want to think of some of Peter’s past trauma: the Vulture trapping Peter under a building already gave Peter enough nightmares. But if Peter had mutated again, that meant—they tried to kill him. He doesn’t realize he says those words aloud until Helen Cho glances up from her papers.

“Not necessarily,” responds the doctor. “I think if Peter’s body perceives enough of a threat to his life, then he mutates.” She sighs. “I know this is hard to hear, but it’s a good thing. It means that whatever happens, Peter’s body will fight to stay alive.”

Tony hears the slippery language: even if Peter himself might not. And it makes sense as well. Peter hasn’t been the most cooperative patient since he arrived. Or the most self-caring. If the kid even finally woke up from this stupor, who knows if the kid would even want to live after this ordeal.

“But he,” she tries, swallowing. “I’m not sure what he’ll be like when he comes out of it.”

“I know,” he replies stiffly. He just wants the kid back—lucid and looking at him like that day in the stairwell. Mr. Stark? he’d said, with a confused clarity, his whole face trembling with disbelief.

Cho grimaces, pulling at the lapels of her wrinkled labcoat.. “...so I’m leaving the cuffs on.”

Tony takes a breath and lets it out. Beside him, Peter stirs lightly, his neck twisting; even in his sleep, his hands are curled into fists, his thumb tucked into his palm like a child’s. And on his right hand, on his mutilated, burned and scarred right hand, his pinky twitches—it’s shorter than the rest. About an inch shorter. Tony remembers that day, sometime deep in May—


“LOOK AT THE CAMERA PARKER, GIVE YOUR PRECIOUS STARK A SMILE—”

Charlie pins the kid’s hand down to the arm of the chair, takes a knife to it, digs it right below the first joint—

“I SAID LOOK AT THE f*ckING CAMERA, FREAK—NOW—NOW OR I’LL CUT IT OFF AND SHOVE IT DOWN YOUR THROAT—

And he does, his brown eyes somehow finding that little green light on Scott Lang’s computer—his chin falling back, his face glistening in the flickering yellow lights. “TELL YOUR LITTLE FAKE DADDY HOW MUCH YOU MISS HIM—”

“Mr. Stark—” the kid sobs, and his chest heaves; and Pete’s teary eyes stare so hard at the camera, like he can see Tony on the other side, and his face splinters with another sob. “I—I wanna go home—”

His eyes. His kid’s marvelous, sparkling eyes—now terrified and staring directly at him through Tony’s television screen.

“Please, Mr. Stark—I can’t—” He’s sobbing so hard he starts to cough, wild frantic coughs. “PLEASE—TONY—PLEASE—”

And then Charlie smiles and presses the knife down.

Peter makes this high, inhuman sound—

The knife doesn’t go all the way through the first time.

Or the second.

His chest feels like it’s on fire—he’s got to—he’s got to help Peter—

Where are his tools— “The gun,” he mutters, suddenly frantic, his head feeling the weight of an anvil— “Oh, god—oh, god—my—I have to—”

“Tony.”

What time is it? “Dum-E,” he says, and he can’t think— “My blueprints—we have to, have to adjust for—if—if we add ammonium ni—nitrate—then—then the target might—”

“Tony,” she says gently, touching his back—who—when did she get beside him? “Breathe, just breathe.”

“If—if we—we have to try—”

“Tony, Tony…” It’s Dr. Cho—and her hand on his back, pressing in slow increments. “Breathe with me, come on…”

He chokes in a breath. “Peter—”

“He’s right here, he’s safe, just breathe with me, one more, come on…”

Tony inhales raggedly, and he pushes his head into his hands. His hair feels like a thousand wires, and he pulls enough to feel a prickle over his skull. “He… He…”

“Peter’s right here. Look at him, Tony. Look at him.”

He forces his eyes up—

—and they fall upon Peter’s sleeping, blanketed body.

“He’s safe. He’s okay. He’s here.”

Tony pulls at his hair again, struggles through another inhale, and breathes out shakily. And again, he looks at that half-sized pinky finger, nailless and blunted—and he closes his eyes to it.

FRIDAY, AUGUST 31 — 11:45 AM

Steve’s ears ring.

“What?” he says, and his voice comes out a pathetic whisper.

Dr. Cho looks at him, and she reaches for his hand across the table; he jerks his hand back.

“No—” he says, and his head feels like it’s full of cotton. “That’s not—I can’t. I didn’t…”

It’s just the two of them in this conference room—there’s enough room to fit the Avengers and more—but the walls are swaying, closing in around them, and Steve looks down at the paper again. At the top, the date of the medical test: Friday, August 24. Exactly a week ago. The date of the result next, and then his name Rogers, Steven Grant. His age, adjusted for his time in the ice: 34. His birthday: July 4, 1918. Then his address—his and Bucky’s address—in Brooklyn. And he scans down the paper for a second, for a third time, and the whole list of tests: HIV, herpes, chlamydia, syphilis, hepatitis B and C—all negative.

Then there, at the bottom: Gonorrhea. And across from it, in green—Positive.

Dr. Cho nods. “I’m sorry,” she says. “I really am, Steve. But treatment’s going to be quick—a single intramuscular dose of ceftriaxone…”

He can see that brown-haired man’s face every time he closes his eyes. Can hear his voice, taunting: Answer me, Steve Rogers. Can feel his fingernails on the back of his neck. Can feel his hand, pulling his shirt out of his pants in a quick yank, and the flutter of panic in his chest—

Cho’s still talking, something about current sexual partners, and it’s in such an automatic medical tone that his stomach churns.

He tips forward, bowing his head, interlacing his fingers over the back of his neck—and he presses his face into the surface of the table. It’s somehow better than having to look Dr. Cho in the face. “Steve?” she says, and he just pretends he hasn’t heard her, pressing his nose into the table and sucking in a breath. “Steve…”

There’s several slashes from the guy’s hatchet still visible on his face—three of them and traces of others, because the blunt edge of it caught his skin and tore. He remembers how it felt, too—not the pain of it, but the slight victory in his chest, the way he kept thinking: Eyes on me, eyes on me, eyes on me. Like he was winning—like he was going to save the day.

He was so f*cking stupid.

Until later that day, when Steve took his eyes fully, entirely off of Peter and onto him. He hears the man’s voice then, low and thick: You wanna know how it feels?

Steve has the sudden urge to drive his shield into his skull.

“Get out,” he says.

Dr. Cho looks up. “Steve—”

“Please, Helen.

She gets up then, all slow and careful, gathering her papers into her hands, tapping them lightly on the table to straighten them out. She leaves one, though: the results of his STD testing, and slides the paper to him. Then he hears her chair screech across the floor, and the conference door opens and closes behind her with a click.

God, the humiliation. He might be sick. He really, really might be sick.

Please, said Steve, as the muzzle of the gun poked into his spine. And then the brown-haired man said, with that murky, taunting voice: Please what?

How could he do that? How could he say that?

How could Steve Rogers give in so easily?

He’s Captain America, for God’s sake, and all it took was a couple hours in a cell with a normal human guy and a gun, and he had him on his hands and knees, begging to be—to be—

He presses his forehead into the table and his hands into his neck and tries to think of one good reason why he’s still a superhero.

What’d you do to him? said the man who’d entered, and the brown-haired man said, Nothing he didn’t want.

Isn’t that true? He asked for it. He’d begged for it.

In front of a helpless, injured child, he begged.

His laugh. His f*cking laugh.

The great Captain America. What are you now?

He has to tell Bucky—should he tell Bucky?

It’s so f*cking ironic. Steve gave speeches on STDs and safe sex to kids Peter’s age. He preached on how to tell a partner, how to get tested, how to use protection.

And he couldn’t even…

The conference room door opens and closes again, and a wave of acidic shame broils in Steve’s gut.

It’s Bucky—he can recognize his footsteps anywhere, slightly uneven because of the weight of his vibranium arm. “Hey, blondie,” he says, gentler than usual. “Cho told me you were in here.”

He pulls up a chair beside him, and Steve moves just slightly—away from him. Away from Bucky. And without looking, Steve quickly snatches the paper with one hand and crumples it in his fist. It’s childish—it’s stupid—but he keeps it there, trapped like it’ll keep Bucky from knowing.

“Did something… Did something happen?”

Steve keeps his head on the table. He’s acting like a child—but he feels like one, too. Impotent and inadequate, choking back tears over a sexual experience that he asked for.

“Lemme see, baby,” says Bucky, and Steve feels him move beside him, feels his fingers pry at his closed fist. “Lemme see.”

“Buck,” he says, and panic gnarls in his chest, and he squeezes his fingers tighter around that stupid f*cking paper. “Bucky, please—”

“It’s okay,” says Bucky, and when he settles his other hand warmly on Steve’s back, he can’t help it—he jumps. “You’re alright—lemme see, doll, lemme see…” He pulls again his flesh-and-blood fingers pry at Steve’s, pulling at the corners of the crumpled paper there.

“I didn’t have a choice,” he whispers. “I didn’t—I didn’t—Bucky—”

“I know,” he says, and his voice is so soft that Steve can feel tears coming down his face. “You’re okay, I know… You’re okay, baby, just lemme see…”

He sobs into the table, gripping the back of his neck with one hand and the paper with his other. “Buck—”

“Whatever it is,” he says gently, “we’ll get through it, we always do…”

He chokes out another sob, and his hand clenches once more around the paper.

“Just let go, Stevie, lemme see…”

And it’s something in his coaxing, gentle tone—but Steve relents, unclenching his fist, and Bucky pulls it from his hand with the slight sound of wrinkling paper.

He hears the paper unfold, crinkling paper smoothed out, and he can practically hear Bucky’s eyes graze over the page. He hears the realization, too, the slight intake of breath.

And Steve—he cowers like a kid, pressing his forehead hard into the table. Humiliation swims in his face and burns at the back of his neck.

“Stevie,” says Bucky eventually, softly, and he’s re-crumpling the paper in his hands, “I can see where your head’s at, and it’s not—”

“It is,” he says, because he’d rather die than hear Buck finish that sentence. “You know it is.”

Bucky huffs. “No,” he says. “No, Steve. This wasn’t your fault. Beck—he—he forced you—”

“No,” he whispers into his hands. “I f*cked up, Bucky, I really—I really—I’m—so sorry—”

And this is something they’ve never spoken about before—but Steve Rogers has never slept with anyone other than Bucky Barnes. Bucky was his sweetheart, his only—and then he’d gone straight into the ice. There was some rumor spread around about him and a few girls on tour, and even more about him and Natasha, but it was all just tabloid bullsh*t.

Bucky was the only person. His only person. And he’d betrayed him.

“Steve,” Bucky says with a firmness, “I want you to listen to me, okay?”

Steve can’t bring himself to nod.

“Stevie,” he says, demanding.

“Yeah,” he chokes out. “Yeah. Okay.”

“I don't blame you for what happened—any of it. That son of a bitch is the one to blame. Not you. Never you. You saved a kid in a horrible way—that doesn’t make you a whor*.”

Go on, then. Let’s see what America’s ass has to offer.

“I’m stronger than this,” he whispers. “I let him—I—”

Bucky shakes his head. “I saw the tox screens. they gave you so much of that HYDRA sedating sh*t that you should’ve been unconscious—but you stayed awake. You stayed awake, baby, all so you could save Peter Parker.”

He shakes his head into the table.

“Steve,” he says, lightly touching Steve’s back again. “That's the same stuff they used on me.”

He didn’t know that.

“Kept me weak unless they needed me. They… Look, doll—there’s no way you could’ve fought him off. That sh*t’s really potent. Kept Peter down, too.”

“Sorry,” Steve whispers. He knows Bucky is having a hard time with this case—revisiting all those old bunkers still makes it difficult for him to sleep. And here he is, whining like a baby about an STD he willingly... That he willingly...

“Don’t be sorry, you—” A ragged sigh. “Steve. Steve. You’re a hero, baby. You saved him.”

“Captain Steve Rogers, hero of the Western world, choking down some dick.” He chuckles, and Steve’s mouth goes dry.

“Steve,” Bucky says. “Stevie. Don’t do that—get out of your head, baby.”

He wants to bury himself alive from sheer shame. “I did it, Buck. I did it and then he—”

And Bucky's there, touching his back, rubbing slowly. He doesn't mention the paper—or what's on it—and Steve can feel the weight of it strung between them.

Steve takes a shuddery breath; he's never felt so weak.

FRIDAY, AUGUST 31 — 3:32 PM

By the afternoon, Peter Parker wakes, and Tony is beside him.

It’s a slow process—but when he finally opens his brown eyes, he seems a little calmer—a little less frantic—spending most of his awake moments scanning the room with some kind of twisted confusion. The nerdy teenage posters, the Star Wars-themed bedspread, the MIT sweatshirt hanging off the door, the photos of his friends… If anything, it gives the kid pause; he seems shaken when he sees them, closing his eyes and opening them again like he’s trying to wake up.

With the sedation mostly gone, Peter moves with a little more insistence, and the first thing he does is move his arm—clink—and then the rest of his body stills, with the same arm, he pulls harder, his pale face contorting with something like panic.

His chest heaves; he pulls his head to his chest like he’s trying to curl in on himself, the scarred side of his face pressed to his bony collarbone.

“Peter,” he says, and it’s like the kid doesn’t even hear him. “Peter. Buddy.” He just pulls at his restraints, face screwing up, and the kid glances around, his neck barely moving—why isn’t he responding— “Peter, hey—”

Then Tony touches Peter’s hand, and Peter’s whole body goes taut.

Peter just freezes—unmoving, and he shrinks, seeming to flatten himself bodily against the bed; he’s still hiding that left side of his face, and his eyes graze warily over the room, scanning again and again and again.

Steve Rogers described the way the kid was when he met him, and this is what he’s like now; “He was quiet,” said the supersoldier, with his gaze directed at the floor, “jumpy, and very, very afraid.”

Then the kid’s eyes fall on Tony, and his whole body seems to tremble. “Peter,” he says, and the kid just looks at him. “Peter, it’s me. It’s Mr. Stark.” You—you remember me, right, kiddo?”

Nothing. The kid’s eyes just jerk to him, and then to the doorway, and then down to the straps around his wrists. He seems cloudy, maybe—and he mouths something to himself: Cassie. And he glances back up, and his eyes don’t leave Tony.

But there’s no recognition there. Just fear.

Tony glances back at Dr. Cho, who’s standing by the doorway with her arms folded. “He’s—he’s off the sedatives, right? He should be—he should be—”

Dr. Cho shakes her head, and Tony turns back to his kid. His movement seems to frighten Peter, because he tightens his entire body, cringing in anticipation of some imagined blow.

He’s just like Steve said:

Quiet.

Jumpy.

And very, very afraid.

“Peter,” he whispers. “Peter, hey.”

He takes his hand away then, and the kid relaxes minutely. But his eyes bounce around the room again—he’s confused, he’s afraid, and he says with a brutal quiet: “Where—where—”

“You’re in the Medbay,” says Tony. “You’re at the Tower.”

Peter shakes his head, and he’s whispering to himself, his voice so quiet that Tony can’t make out a single word.

“We got you out,” he says. “We got you out.”

The kid’s hair hangs dark and stringy over his eyes. “Where—” he tries again, and he swallows his words, shutting his mouth tightly.

“The Tower,” Tony repeats, and he’s waiting for Peter to understand— “Avengers Tower, remember?”

But Peter keeps shaking his head, his chest taking in shallow breaths, and he’s starting to tremble—whispering to himself again, and Tony knows they’re not going to get anywhere with their current track. So he tries, like on that first day, “Godfather, Pete—godfather.”

The kid looks at him. “Mr. Stark,” he whimpers, his voice raspy and pained, and some fleeting recognition passes over his face.

“Yeah, kiddo. It’s me. It’s me.”

“Tony,” he says, weird and insistent.

“Yes—” he says, and his chest clenches. “Yes, Pete, that’s right.”

He’s talking. He’s talking.

There’s that tube trailing into his nose, taped down one side of his face, and the tape crinkles as Pete turns his face back and forth. “I don’t—” he whispers, “I don’t—”

“Just me,” he says, “just me. Mr. Stark.”

At least now he’s acting more normal, more stable, like he can see the person in front of him. “Cassie,” he whispers, “Cassie.” And then he pulls harder at his restraints. “Cassie? Cassie?”

Heart pounding, Tony turns to Helen, who’s standing in the doorway still, and he says, “Can we…”

She just shakes her head.

Tony turns back to his kid, and he says, “Peter—Peter, kid—look at me, okay? You’re here. You’re here with me—”

And he doesn’t know what does it, maybe the movement, or the sound of his voice, or the fact that Cassie’s not with him, but something changes. Peter squeezes his eyes shut, tears slipping down his face. “No,” he whimpers, “no, please—”

Behind him, Dr. Cho moves, and she says, “Okay, I’m gonna sedate him, Kaelyn, get me another dose—

A nurse vanishes down the hallway, and Tony says, “Wait—no—no more of that. He’s scared enough, Cho. Just let him—he’ll calm on his own, he will.”

She sighs.

Tony tries to touch him, and he just screams. “You’re okay,” he manages, feeling that sinking pit in his stomach. “Godfather—godfather, remember?”

She just nods her chin a little in Peter’s direction, who’s started to notice the restraints again, pulling violently at them, and it’s making him make these small noises in the back of his throat—like a dog in a cage. “Mr. Stark,” he sobs out. “Mr. Stark—Mr. Stark—Mr. Stark—Mr. Stark, help me—”

The nurse returns with an array of syringes, handing it to Helen, Tony moves bodily between them, blocking her access to Peter’s bed. “No,” he says. “We’re done with that—he’s—he’s done.”

“Tony,” says Dr. Cho, plucking up one of the syringes in gloved hands—

“I said no,” he says, and there’s a burning feeling inside of his chest. “That’s—that’s my kid you’ve got in this bed! You’re not drugging him again!”

Peters started to cry, sobbing incoherently, and Helen is at him with this utterly pissed gaze. “You wanna let him go on like this, Tony? He’s f*cking terrified!”

“He’s always terrified!” Tony shouts, and when Cho moves, he does, too, eyeing the needles that’re supposed to go in Peter. “And he’s gonna keep being terrified if you keep putting that sh*t in him!”

Steve Rogers is in the door suddenly, like a saving grace, and although Tony flinches minutely at the sight of his sudden form, he’s actually relieved. “He said no,” he says firmly, weaving his way to stand by Tony. “No more sedatives for the kid—Helen, put it down.”

“Steve—”

“He said no,” Steve repeats, and he glances once to Tony, meeting his eyes with something that mirrors his own.

With two Avengers blocking her, Cho backs off, both hands slightly raised, but her face betrays her. “Fine,” she says, and behind them, Peter continues to sob, his restraints clicking against the sides of the bed. “But when he needs them—”

“He won’t,” says Tony, firm. “He won’t.”

SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 1 — 8:09 AM

Cassie’s lost a fair amount of teeth.

For some reason, that fact seems to bother Maggie more than anything else. Because Cassie’s always been a late bloomer—late to walk, late to talk, late to grow—and she’d never lost a tooth before, not before she went missing in April. And now five of them are gone. One front tooth, the canine next to it, an incisor on the bottom a little molar in the back, and a matching molar on the other side.

Dr. Helen Cho says, after a quick examination of her mouth, that she’s been grinding her teeth—that’s probably why she lost so many so quickly. That and the malnutrition.

And as Cassie sleeps this morning, she does it still—grinding her teeth, her little jaw moving back and forth, her brow drawn in a tense little frown. It’s a habit Maggie’s seen the Peter kid do in his sleep, his jaw moving slightly as he sleeps, twitching and frowning and whimpering through his gritted teeth the way Cassie’s doing now.

They picked it up from each other, just like they did everything else.

And as Cassie sleeps, it gets worse—Maggie can hear her teeth squeak against one another as they go back and forth. They’ve refitted her bed with her zoo-covered quilt from home, and she’s swallowed herself in it completely; Maggie swaddles her in it and rocks her slowly, trying to soothe her even as she sleeps. Her little girl’s breathing shallowly, in raspy huffs, and she’s hugging that little stuffed zebra to her chest with her scarred hand.

Even in her sleep, her sweet girl is in pain.

Dr. Cho sends in a dentist on Saturday morning—a woman, someone to make sure Cassie’s mouth and teeth are healthy. Maggie meets her first, as Jim slowly wakes Cassie, and she seems nice enough. Gentle. Slow-moving and careful enough to come close to Cassie without repercussion. “Did they tell you…” asks Maggie.

She doesn’t have to finish her sentence, because the dentist nods, her red hair swaying lightly to one side. “Cho did give me her medical history—so I know some of it, yes.”

They talk a little more—about Cassie’s bleeding gums, about her lost teeth, about her malnutrition and the soft foods she’s been eating. Then Maggie invites her into the room slowly, letting the red-haired dentist follow her into the room.

Cassie in her bed, sitting quietly in Jim’s lap, a fuzzy dolphin blanket from home wrapped around her little shoulders. She’s holding that little stuffed zebra—Ava—and whispering softly to him.

“Cassie,” Maggie says, and her little girl looks up and goes very still. “This is the dentist, okay? She’s gonna take a look at your mouth.”

Behind her, the dentist tucks a tendril of auburn hair behind her ear. She takes a small step forward, waving slightly, and she says, “My name’s Dr.—”

The woman can’t even get her own name out before Jim cuts her off with a yelp, shifting Cassie out of his lap. “Cassie, honey—” He looks up at Maggie, his voice betraying his sudden alarm. “She…”

Maggie’s gaze drifts down, and she can see it: the warm rush of liquid down Cassie’s hospital gown, trickling down her leg, spilling out onto the bedsheets.

“Oh,” says the dentist, and her shock is palpable. “Um.”

Maggie realizes now that Cassie isn’t even looking at Jim or her animal anymore. Her attention is entirely trained on the red-haired dentist; she’s not even blinking.

And she’s shaking, her hands now fisted in Jim’s shirt.

Maggie glances between her daughter and the dentist, and back to her daughter—and she finds that Cassie’s barely even breathing, air coming into her in little short gulps. “Hey,” says the dentist, and Maggie knows that’s the wrong move, “there’s nothing to be scared of, sweetheart—”

And her hand moves, and Cassie screeches like a goddamn demon—

—and she scrambles out of the bed, out of Jim’s arms like a slippery fish, and she hits the ground hard, her palms slapping tile. “Cassie—”

And she scrambles like a frightened cat, on her hands and knees like some kind of animal—quickly beneath the bed, already starting to cry, and once she’s backed all the way to the wall, she’s shouting, crying out more words than Maggie’s heard from her in days: “I’m sorry, Mommy, I’m sorry, Mommy—please—please—PLEASE—I—I—I won’t—I won’t run—I won’t run—

And when they try to comfort her, try to kneel down to greet her, to tell her that everything’s alright—but her sobbing is so relentless that it’s hard for them to get a word in edgewise.

They leave her like that for a while, just hiding beneath the bed. Cassie’s been doing so well these past few days that they don’t want to sedate her or scare her again. So she and Jim sit cross-legged on the floor, trying to coax her out with promises of stuffed toys and more food.

But Cassie doesn’t move.

She just hugs herself, crying, and whispers for Peter.

They manage to get her out later that day, when she falls asleep from sheer exhaustion, and pull her back into the bed.

That new psychiatrist—Dr. Alexis—puts up a photo of Peter in Cassie’s room, right beside the bed. They thought it might help—that then she might remember that Peter’s not gone.

But the photo was an old one—a picture Pepper Potts provided of the teenager at a convention. Smiling and full-cheeked and dressed up like a stormtrooper, giving a cheery thumbs up to the camera. “Not Peter,” Cassie whispers, and she shies away from the photo, choosing instead to curl her blanket around her shoulders.

“Honey,” says Maggie. “That’s Peter. See? Right here—”

“Not Peter,” she says, and she looks like she’s going to cry, so Maggie gives up, putting the photo away.

Cassie’s spent more time seeing that battered skeleton of a boy than she has seen him as a regular teen that she can’t—she can’t even recognize him.

So they take a more recent photo of him—something of him in the hospital bed, bony and scarred with bloodshot eyes, and Cassie nods. “Peter,” she says, and she looks at the photo with this unmatched sense of longing. “Peter.”

Notes:

i'm working a ton on my thesis in the back half of this term, so plz be patient with me if i gotta take a week off or something. i won't give up on this, plz do not worry about that, i'm WAY too invested hahaha, and this is my fuel to live, but i might be taking a week off in the next few weeks. or maybe i'll write 4k instead of 5k? something like that. either way, don't stress, i'll write till i'm dead lol, you'll still get chapters

and thx a lot for whoever nominated me for the irondad creator awards, i'm literally so honored, i never thought i'd get any recognition for this story, it's such a guilty pleasure hahaha

thank u thank u all lollll have a great week

Chapter 33: o children

Notes:

chap title from 'o children' by nick cave and the bad seeds

always down to the last couple seconds teehehehe, def one of the longest chapters i've written in a while tho

i literally wrote 50% of this in the last like 3 hours so LET ME KNOW if i made typos PLZZZ im literally writing like i'm running out of time hahaha but it's the greatest f*cking feeling

savor that last scene, it's my favorite

cw: references to violence, some injury,

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 1 — 10:32 AM

“We’ve got someone for him,” says Dr. Cho.

Tony looks up from where he’s seated on Peter’s hospital room floor. Did he fall asleep like this? “What?”

“You remember Sam Wilson?”

Tony blinks at her.

She shakes her head, as though clearing her mind. “Right. Yes. Well, they’re a big military family–parents were both army, Sam went into Pararescue, and his sister—Sarah—she went into psychiatry. Works with prisoners of war in the military. Sam talked to her—told her a little bit about our situation, and she’s coming in later today.”

“She’s gonna help?” he echoes, a little wary.

Dr. Cho nods. “As much as she can. WIth Peter’s…condition, it might be hard, there might not be much change, but yes. She’s well-versed in violence of this nature—and she’s done some worked with vigilantes, minor superheroes, that kind of thing. And” —she waves vaguely— “it’s Sam’s sister. So… I think she’s a safe bet.”

Sarah Wilson arrives in the afternoon, sometime after one o’clock.

She’s a dark-skinned woman with a warm face much like Sam’s. She comes dressed in a pair of maroon pants with hoop earrings, her hair in long black twists, and a copper-colored sweater. She shakes Tony’s hand first, and then Helen’s and then they explain the gist of Peter’s situation. “And how is he right now?” Sarah asks, turning to Tony.

He grimaces. “He’s…”

Was there an easy way to explain Peter’s current state? All today, Peter’s been in that fugue state of his—he might as well be sedated, because he’s basically unresponsive. He’s gone again, just gone blank; and he won’t talk to anyone. He just watches them as they move through the room, letting them do whatever they want to him—just like he did when Tony offered him food on that first day.

Sarah Wilson doesn’t betray any kind of alarm upon hearing this. She just nods calmly, and says, “Where is he?”

So they lead him to Peter’s room. He’s lying down on his back, the bed angled slightly so that he can see them as they approach. And he barely even moves as they enter, just staring blankly in their general direction.

“How much sedation did you give him?” asks Sarah Wilson, scanning the kid.

Dr. Cho answers, giving a sliding look to Tony. “He’s, well. He’s not on any sedation right now.”

Sarah nods solemnly, and she comes to him, sitting beside his bed, slow moving and careful not to frighten him. “Hi, Peter,” she says, “my name is Dr. Wilson. Sarah. I’m just here to talk—that’s all. Can you tell me your name?”

Peter stares at her; it doesn’t even seem like he’s registered her question. His eyes betray him, though — they’re more alert than the rest of him, drifting from one side of the room to the other, jerking to a person when they begin to speak.

Tony remembers, suddenly, the first time they broke Peter’s nose. The crack that Charlie’s fist made against bone, the hitched groan Peter had made, the way blood slid down—so liquid— down Peter’s neck, bright. The way he’d looked directly onto the camera—he’d still had some fight in him then—and smiled, as though to say, I’m okay, Mr. Stark. I can take it.

“Take your time, Peter.”

He does nothing but blink at her, his gaze intent on her face. He scans the room again. And again. And again.

“Do you know what day it is?” When he doesn’t answer, she brings out a calendar and taps the day in its white square: September first. “Can you tell me what day it is, Peter?”

He just looks at her.

They try a lot of others—Sarah showed him cards and asks him to say what’s on it, she asks him to try to speak and to point at things, but he’s just getting agitated, curling away from Sarah and glancing over at Tony—he’s disoriented, barely able to focus on their voices.

“Can you make a fist for me, Peter?” She demonstrates with one hand. He just stares blankly at her, and then he looks at Tony, his wrist pulling at those stupid f*cking restraints. Clink. Clink. Clink.

So Sarah gives him a pen and paper.

And there’s suddenly a reaction like they haven’t seen before in Peter. He takes the pen, his fingers curling around it. It’s a nice pen—maybe twenty or twenty-five dollars—capped with a metal tip. He removes the cap with a satisfying thihk and then he looks up at Sarah as though seeing her for the first time, his brow tightening a fraction, one wrinkle forming as his eyelids twitch.

He’s thinking.

His fingers wrap around it, a four-fingered grip like a child with a crayon.

Sarah seems to understand his sudden change in demeanor, too, because then she points at the pen. “Can you tell me what that is?”

Still gripping the pen, Peter stares at her, his eyes cold beneath his dark eyebrows. His eyes flit once to Tony’s, then back to Sarah, and he jerks his arm back

He doesn’t get very far; the restraints clank loudly, and the pen flies out of his weak hands. .

They can’t figure out what he was going to do with it. Stab Sarah Wilson? Stab himself?

If not for the restraints, they’d probably know.

MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 3 — 12:51 PM

They had a cardiologist come through—check on leftover occurrences of his cardiac issues—but with the refeeding syndrome now much in check, Peter’s safe on that front.

Pepper keeps returning to May Parker’s room; since the woman found out Peter was safe, she’d fallen into another coma. Dr. Cho keeps telling her it’s normal—that sometimes people hang on for one particular reason—like the safety of their loved ones—and then they just…decline.

Little Cassie is doing better—they’ve been letting her take monitored walks through the hallways, which helps to calm her down. Not to visit Peter, though.

And slowly, surely, Dr. Cho weans Peter completely off the sedatives, off of the anti-anxiety meds, the anti-psychotic meds, all of it. Anything that might be clouding his mind. It takes a couple days, but it works. Every day, he’s a little clearer, a little more present, a little more Peter. Sarah keeps working with him, trying to ground him using various techniques, but nothing’s working with those restraints on him.

So, Sarah Wilson offers to make a few changes to Peter’s regimen. She talks to them about a lot—but especially about removing the restraints.

“Every time I think we’re about to get there—to lucidity, to clarity,” Sarah says, referring to Peter, “he realizes he’s restrained again. And he gets obviously upset, Helen. Any child would. So, if you would please…

But Dr. Chow won’t have it. “It’s protocol,” says the doctor, “that when a patient as violent as Peter is in my Medbay—”

Pepper can hear them shouting in the conference room, arguing about mental states and delirium, barely able to find common ground when it comes to Peter.

So Sarah Wilson comes up with some alternative solutions.

She removes some of the photos from Peter’s ones—especially the ones in glass casing. “No reflections,” she says. “Nothing reflective."

“Why not?” Pepper asks.

Sarah winces. “Well, it might scare him.”

“What?”

The woman sighs. “Do you remember what it was like—seeing him for the first time, like this?”

She does. It was like seeing a horror movie—Peter Parker had been so badly beaten that his skin was dark with bruising, his face half-marred by knifelike marks, his ear melted away, his hair matted, his chest mauled by horrific, thick scarring. “Yeah,” she replies. “He looked bad.” Bad is a monumental understatement. “Alien. Nothing like himself.”

Sarah nods, solemn. “Exactly.”

MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 3 — 4:22 PM

Then comes Sarah’s brilliant idea.

“We usually do this with the elderly,” she says, sitting Tony and Pepper down in a conference room. “We’ll give them, well, stuffed animals or dolls to calm them. It can help with grounding patients, too, make them remember times in their lives where they were parents or caretakers. Help them remember who they are. I think… I think we could try it for Peter.”

“I don’t understand,” says Pepper, “Peter’s not a parent—he doesn’t… He doesn’t even have any pets.”

Sarah nods. “But he had Cassie,” she says. “Remember? She was an ever-present person in his life. That’s why she keeps asking for him. And we can’t be dragging Cassie from room to room—especially with Peter’s current mental state, it’s probably better to keep them separated until we can get Peter to understand that he’s safe. So I think… Having something to hold might help ground him. ”

“Like a doll?” she asks.

Sarah shakes her head. “A doll might frighten him,” she says, “he might think it’s, well…”

It takes Pepper a moment to get it. A corpse, Sarah must’ve meant. Peter might think the doll is a corpse.

“So we’ll start with something simple. A teddy bear.”

So they get him a bear. A big one, about the size of a small child. Some of the Stark Industries engineers it to have the same warmth as a person, and another team equips it with a light, barely discernible heartbeat. It’s a sweet little kid’s bear—with closed eyes and brown fur, and Peter just stares at it when they put it on his bed, just within reach.

He doesn’t take it when they’re in the room—but once they leave for lunch and return, they find that Peter has taken it in one cuffed hand, and he’s stroking its fuzzy head in that same sleepy, gentle manner that he did to Cassie when he held her.

The kid holds the bear gently to his chest, petting and petting and making mumbly whispers into the animal’s head.

Sarah’s right. It helps.

This is the calmest they’ve seen Peter in days . Soon, it’s Tuesday, and it’s the third day of weaning Peter off his sedatives—Helen removes the last drop from his system, and at last, he is lucid. He spends most of his time just holding that teddy bear. He can only manage one arm with his restraints, but it helps nonetheless. He just touches its face and cradles it with one hand—when Peter falls asleep, it is with the bear at his side.

TUESDAY, SEPTEMBER 4 — 10:35 AM

Ross is pissed.

Now that Project Manticore has crashed and burned, Thaddeus Ross has to figure out so—much—bullsh*t.

He wants to kill them all. He wants to shoot each of them in the head and watch them bleed out, knowing he’ll never be liable for any of this Stark-Seven-Parker bullsh*t.

But he needs someone to take the fall.

So he set up that little plan with Flint Marko—he got rid of any witnesses who had told anyone about his involvement, got rid of any who weren’t willing to plead guilty. Those that survived Flint’s questionnaire were given an option: keep quiet about who employed you, plead guilty, and you will be paid off for the rest of your life.

Thaddeus Ross is a f*ckinggenius.He knows how not to get his hands dirty.

He’s convinced all of them to plead guilty to their charges—to take deals in exchange for shorter sentences and an allowance (courtesy of Ross) so that they can live out the rest of their lives comfortably.

Honestly, it wasn’t hard to convince them once they caught wind of what happened to those ungrateful soldiers. Once Flint Marko paid them a little visit and threatened their lives and the lives of their families.

The biggest problem is that there’s a line of dead in their wake. They’ve tied many, many dead bodies to this project—it’s not even his fault! It’s these f*cking—moronic—junkies!

And apparently now Marko is even on the run—Banner and Thor, somehow, two of the strongest Avengers, had gotten a whiff of his presence in New York and scared him off before he could come near the kids. They were currently chasing him down somewhere in Canada—and honestly, not his problem.

Those kids are so f*cked up that no one would take their testimony seriously, anyway.

And they don't know Ross was involved, right?

Right?

God, he’s so stressed.

He schedules another therapy session through his secretary, and a massage for this afternoon. He needs to relax; this court case is sending his blood pressure through the goddamn roof.

If those kids know that he paid those addicts to orchestrate Project Manticore, then he is f*cked.

He could hire another hitman, but honestly, that Avengers Tower is on such heavy lockdown that even their best guys couldn’t break in.

He should have never entrusted such a massive project to a moron like Charlie Keene. He was just so easy to convince, and for so little pay, too. All of them were so easy to coerce—and all of them are now pleading guilty in his place in exchange for cash and drugs.

Well—

All except for one.

Quentin f*cking Beck.

Quentin calls him later in the day from prison.

It’s a video call; apparently, one of the other convicts at Quentin’s jail got pissed and pulled all of his teeth out one by one (honestly, he’d have liked to see that happen), so he’s on a video call instead, mouth bloody and stuffed full of cotton padding, holding up a notepad to the camera.

In angry black lettering, he’s written: I DESERVE BETTER THAN THIS YOU f*ckWAD! IM NOT GOING TO PRISON FOR THIS!

Ross responds, calmly, “Well, I told you not to leave a f*cking trail, Quentin. When you don’t listen—”

More frantic scribbling. YOU SAID I COULD DO WHATEVER I WANTED WITH THEM!

“I said,” Ross corrects, more pissed off now, “you could do whatever you wanted as long as the job got done and you didn’t leave a trail, and look where we are now—no gun, a goddamn trail, and a list of witnesses longer than your missing dick—all because you couldn't keep it in your pants, Quentin!”

The guy makes an angry noise through his cotton-stuffed mouth.

Normally, he’s a fan of Quentin Beck. Sure, the guy is a horny pedophile and a loose cannon, but the man’s a f*cking genius, ruthless as hell, and will do whatever it takes to get the job done. Especially if the job involves Tony Stark.

So, he owes the man.

Besides, Quentin will make sure none of the other addicts say a word about him—and that’s what he needs to happen right now. The guy's currently scribbling more on his notepad, shaking it in front of the camera, but Ross waves him away. “Whatever,” he says, “I’ll figure it out, Quentin. Go get your mouth f*cking fixed. I’m sending you a lawyer. Sit tight.”

And with one tap to his screen, Secretary Ross ends the call.

TUESDAY, SEPTEMBER 4 — 6:17 PM

When it happens, Tony isn’t even there.

He and Pepper are in a meeting with legal about an upcoming hearing concerning the so-called Stark Seven. A man named Matt Murdock is there with them—alongside his legal partner, a blond named Foggy.

They’re pretty informal, as lawyers go, but Pepper assures him that they’re the best for this kind of case. Tony goes through the entire meeting in a daze; when he nods asleep, leaned up against the palm of his hand, he finds himself dreaming of Peter in the chair: screaming for him, crying for him, bleeding for him. And when he wakes with a jerk, both lawyers are staring at him with a horror-stricken gaze.

The meeting ends shortly after that, and Pepper vanishes to another doctor’s appointment; Tony heads back to Peter’s room. He makes his way down the Medbay hallway, trembling like a senior citizen and catching himself on the wall, forcing himself forwards and forwards and forwards.

But he finds Peter’s room empty.

Inside there is only that blonde-and-pink haired nurse, Kaelyn, who’s restocking the cabinet beside Peter’s bed with medications. “Where is he?” he chokes out, and the panic is already there, draped over him like a weighted blanket.

The woman is calm—much more collected than Tony—and she explains that they’ve taken him down the hall for a couple scans.

So he heads for the scanning room, using his hand to guide himself down the wall until he has to stop and that blonde nurse helps him back up. “Would you like a wheelchair, sir?” she asks, concern flashing across her face.

Tony shakes his head. “I’ve got it,” he says, even though he very much doesn’t.

“Okay,” she says, but she doesn’t leave him. “Want some company, then?”

Tony slumps, exhausted, against the wall. He feels, suddenly, that saying yes would be something terrible, and he just stays there, hands trembling, knees wobbling, so weak that he can barely get a word out.

And although Tony doesn’t respond, the nurse helps him anyway, draping one tattooed arm around his waist and helping him to his feet. He leans on her heavily, but she’s strong—they walk together, all the way down to the end of the hallway. He doesn’t even get a chance to thank her before she’s headed back towards Peter’s room.

It seems they’ve just finished with the scans, because as soon as Tony arrives, they’re pulling the sample table out in one long, mechanical pull, and Peter’s on it, laid still on his back. “I’m here,” he says, slightly out of breath. “I’m here, kiddo, I’m…”

That’s when he sees it—as the table pulls out all the way, extending fully with a click , he can see now Peter’s face. His face is held still by a foam-lined plastic structure, one strap extending across his forehead, two foam pads pressed on either side. Another plastic frame presses flat against his chest, pinning his shoulders down. But the worst is—that Peter’s eyes are mostly closed, only a sliver of white visible. His thin body is wholly, entirely slack, the only sign of life the trail of a shiny tear extending down one side of his face.

Tony’s chest twists. “What…” he says, unable to finish his sentence.

He looks up at the glass windows on the opposite wall—there’s Dr. Cho and her technicians, speaking to each other, hands gesturing as they talk.

She—she drugged him again.

God, he’s gonna f*cking kill that woman.

One nurse begins to unstrap Peter from his various plastic contraptions, carefully sliding his head from between the foam pads and flashing a light across his eyes.

The kid’s pupils shrink to pinpricks at the light, and his eyes water, shiny with liquid, another tear sliding down the side of his face. “He’s crying,” Tony whispers. “You’re—you’ve—he’s crying—”

They sedated him again. They sedated him again—to such an extent that even his eyes are slow, rolling lethargically in their sockets, tears rolling down his temples where he lies.

“That can happen,” says the nurse carefully, touching his arm. “Sir, why don’t you wait outside?”

TUESDAY, SEPTEMBER 4 — 6:32 PM

Tony wants to light the Medbay on fire.

“What did I say about—about sedating him?” He has this sudden and sick desire—to make Cho hurt , he wants to take a knife to her cheek, wants to chain her to the bed and drug her past recognition so that she can see how this f*cking feels—

“Tony, he was really agitated when we got to him—”

“I SAID WE WERE DONE WITH THAT sh*t! NO MORE DRUGS! NONE!” Tony shoves his hand into his face. “ God, we made so much PROGRESS!”

“Would you rather I left his heart unchecked? If you haven’t forgotten, Tony, that’s something you need to live! Something Peter needs to live!”

“Stop it,” says Tony, “stop! That’s—that’s—he’s scared, Helen! You’re scaring him!”

“I have no choice, Tony! No choice! And his brain, we needed a proper scan, the damage done there was astronomical—

“No,” he says, the word vicious. “No more. No more drugs.” He’s pointing at her labcoat—the sight of her suddenly sickens him. God, that look on Peter’s face. “No. More. Next time you—you—drug up my kid against his will, I'm gonna—I’ll fire you.”

Helen stares soberly at him. “You don’t employ me,” she says, curtly. “Pepper does.”

And that vicious feeling bubbles up in Tony, that protectiveness he knows so well from watching that television every day for five months. “f*ck you,” he growls. “This is your fault! You’re—you’re torturing him!”

“Tony—”

“Aren’t you supposed to be a—a good doctor?”

“I am a good doctor,” she says. “I’m—I’m doing my best.”

“Then why is my kid—why is he—why is he—” He’s gasping then, pressing his hand into his belly to try to get some air—and when Cho reaches for him, he slaps her hand away. “Why is he—still—so— scared?”

WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 5 — 1:39 AM

Peter wakes up in the middle of the night screaming.

Blood. Curdling. Screaming.

When the nurses find him, he’s thrashing so hard that he’s broken through the cast on his knee again, his leg kicking so hard that the bone of his shin seems to have shifted.

His eyes are open wide and his mouth is open wider and he’s screaming like someone’s prying his chest open—tears streaming down his face, thrashing left and right and left and right—

The nurse scramble around him, trying to pin him down, but he just keeps screaming—it’s something incoherent—interspersed with a sudden yell of pain, like an animal that’s just been shot, and he’s screeching, and there’s only one word that comes out clearly: “NO, no no no— ” and he’s flailing and kicking and the sounds from him like something savage —

And then—

—a—

—snap.

The nurses explain in contained horror, and then Dr. Cho explains it to Tony.

“He broke his wrist,” says Helen, with this drab look of pale upset, “trying to get out of his restraints.”

Tony’s face goes cold.

“Both the ulna,” she says, “and the radius. Completely snapped in half.” She swallows. “And his leg—he really messed it up—”

“He messed up?” echoes Tony, feeling sick. “ He messed up? You broke his goddamn arm—”

The woman swallows. “We’re gonna fix it. We’re gonna fix this, Tony.”

WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 5 — 3:11 AM

They’re in the conference room again.

“—because of restraints you put him in!” snaps Pepper.

The only ones missing are Thor and Bruce (still chasing down the Sandman) and Tony, who’s of course at Peter’s bedside. The rest are circled around a conference room table—and at each other’s throats. Again.

“I don’t understand how this happened, ” says Rhodey, stepping up to Helen Cho, who nervously takes a step back. “God—how did this—wasn’t he restrained in the bunker?”

Bucky Barnes tilts his chin up. He’s still got some remnants of dark paint on his face, ghosted around the eyes, running down his cheeks like eyeliner in the rain. “HYDRA restraints are cuffs, not straps,” the Soldier says, his voice very still. “Immovable. Can’t get enough momentum to break a bone.”

Pepper tries not to think about how Bucky Barnes knows that information; her eyes drift to his wrists, where his shirt is rolled up to the elbow. Wrinkled circles of scars—discolored against his pale skin, in the same spot that Peter now has bandaged on either forearm.

And he’s right—the Medbay restraints are definitely different—a chain attached to a leather, vibranium-reinforced strap buckled around his wrists and ankles with about a foot of slack for each limb. Enough to move—but not enough to reach his nasogastric tube or his IV on either side.

“He’s strong enough now—” explains Helen, but there’s sweat lining her hairline. “His power’s been returning without the sedatives—I didn’t think—”

Clint’s standing now, piping up: “You didn’t think? You didn’t think about the fact that this kid’s strong enough to break his own bones?

“I didn’t know—this has never happened before—and the state of his bones, I—I forgot that with the malnutrition, they’re brittle—”

Like always, Nat’s on Clint’s side, echoing, “You forgot?”

Cho’s backing up by the screen, looking progressively more worried, her throat bobbing as she swallows. “You—you said—it was daily, the torture—he must be—he’s just scared, there’s no way I could have known—”

“Of course you knew! He’s tied down! You tied him down, of course he’s scared—”

Then Rhodey is stepping between the pair and Cho, and he's still as intimidating without his mechanical suit. His leg braces whir quietly as he moves forward. “Don’t come at her—this isn’t her fault—”

“Oh, and it’s mine?”

“Yes,” he spits, with a spite she’s never before seen from the man. “It is. We wouldn’t even be here if—if you and Barnes hadn’t done — your f*cking — jobs!”

Natasha smacks his pointing finger away. “Blame me all you want,” she says coldly. “There has not been a single sign of HYDRA activity in the past two years in the continental United States—Barnes and I took them out, you know that, they’re not coming back—”

“Right, because Nazis need your permission to band together again—”

“These weren’t Nazis!”

“Then who? Then who?” He slaps his hands against his thighs and sits down, because his gaze turns to Pepper. “Because there’s no way a gang of junkies from Queens managed to pull this sh*t on Peter. He’s enhanced. He could heal a broken bone overnight. I’ve seen him lift a jet bridge —those things weigh, like, twenty tons. And you’re telling me—they did all of this?”

“Forget them,” says Nat, “what I wanna know is how Pepper f*cking Potts, CEO of the biggest tech conglomerate in the f*cking country—didn’t know that these guys had ahold of Peter—I thought he was like your nephew!”

The room turns to her.

“Intern,” Pepper says curtly, something cold growing inside of her chest, “and I’m not his mother—”

“This is a child,” says Nat, her tone vicious. “A seventeen-year-old child. A high school student. And you’re telling me that he and his caretaker disappeared off the face of the earth overnight and you just thought—what, that they went on an extra-long vacation?”

“No,” says Pepper, taking a step back. “I—”

“If you’d noticed sooner,” she says, “then we might not be having this conversation; we might be speaking to Peter instead of pumping him with so much sedation that he can barely breathe on his own!”

“Happy said he was talking to them!”

“I TOLD YOU!” Happy shouts. “I told you they were emailing me.”

Natasha spits, “You didn’t bother. Either of you—you didn’t even try. And now Peter Parker has paid the price for your negligence—”

They’re exhausted. they’re all exhausted.

And it’s tainting their words, like a drop of ink in water in a pan.

“Not to mention the fact that you stood in front of the entire world this morning and told them what happened to Peter!”

Pepper’s face goes cold—the room’s so focused on her that she feels faint. “It’s just—speculation—” she says, but she remembers what she said. They asked her about sex trafficking, and she’d floundered, dancing around the question. Well, she’d said, and she’d suddenly become so stupid. There was—There were some signs of—well— And Rhodey, thank God, had cut her off before she said something else.

She hadn't said anything. She hadn't.

She'd just... messed up. “Speculation doesn’t matter—”

“Of course it f*cking matters!” says Natasha, stalking closer to her. “It matters, Pepper! You told the world about something deeply personal—and when Peter wakes up, he’s gonna find out exactly what the public knows about him!” She’s got a remote in her hand, and she slams a couple buttons with her small fingers, turning on the television mounted in the corner. A news channel pops up: FOX, and there’s a man speaking with an old picture of Tony on the screen. “And this is what he’s going to see—so what the hell were you thinking saying that, Pepper? How could you do that to Peter?”

Like a cornered dog, Pepper backs up, finding the wall with her hands. “I had to—had to give them something—the media—they’re vultures! They would’ve found out somehow—”

“You had no right saying that about him!” snarls Steve, butting in to the conversation. “His business is his and his alone!

Somehow, Captain America reaming her out in her own building is the thing that sets her off. “If you knew about it,” says Pepper harshly, shakily, stabbing one finger in the supersoldier’s direction, “then why didn’t you say anything when he first got to the hospital? You were just going to let it go?” The supersoldier’s face looks suddenly different—colder. “Didn’t you think we deserved to know? What kind of superhero does that?”

Steve Rogers’ face hardens. “f*ck you,” he snaps, his voice icelike, and Pepper reels; she’s never heard Captain America use that kind of language.

But still she presses on, trying to push the attention away from herself and that f*cking press conference. “What happened to you in there, huh?” she presses on. “Why wouldn’t you just tell us? What did you do in there that you’re so afraid to tell everyone else?”

Steve gives her this hard, hard look.

And then he just walks out of the room.

Bucky turns to her with such a vicious glare—his eyes still ringed in black—that she is at once afraid for her well-being. Pepper takes a step back, her heart skipping a beat, and puts a hand over her swollen stomach.

And he follows Steve out.

And even without the two supersoldiers, they just keep arguing—fighting and fighting and fighting—until Nat’s screaming at Pepper, and Sam Wilson’s looking mealy and sick again. Clint’s asking rows and rows of questions to Dr. Cho, and Rhodey’s physically cornered Happy and is pressing his hand to the man’s shoulder to pin him back against the wall.

They’re all shouting—they’re all exhausted and worried and scared and really, really pissed about the whole situation.

Clint’s shouting at Cho, something about, “You’re a doctor! Fix this!”

And then Dr. Helen Cho—f*cking— snaps.

“SHUT—UP!”

The entire room turns on its head; every Avenger turns their head to look at the dark-haired doctor, at the South Korean physician who has taken care of all of them for the past four years—who has never yelled—never shouted—never screamed.

And now she looks like a creature unhinged—her hair completely free of its clip, her labcoat wrinkled and stained, her face pink with upset. “I HAVE NEVER SEEN ANYTHING LIKE THIS BEFORE! This is—this is—without a doubt—the worst case I’ve seen in my entire life and I work for the god—damn—Avengers!”

She throws down the manila file she’s been holding since the start, and she starts pointing around the room at the each of them, pacing the front, her steps hard and angry. “And despite what you all might think, I’m not a robot! I’m not JARVIS, I’m not FRIDAY—I’m not a bottomless f*cking pit of medical information and psychiatric advice—I’M A GODDAMN HUMAN BEING AND I MAKE MISTAKES! And I feel this as much as any of you do!” She cuts her hand through the air to accentuate her point, and her hair falls stray in front of her face as she paces. “And I don’t just see his current injuries. I see every single injury he’s ever had. YOU—YOU ONLY SEE THE PAST TWO WEEKS—I’M LOOKING AT HIS SCANS, HIS BLOOD TESTS, HIS HISTORY—AT MONTHS OF— MONTHS OF—”

She cuts herself off.

And in a low voice shuddery with anger, she says: “Have you seen his goddamn X-ray?”

The entire room is in a trembling silence.

Cho taps angrily on her tablet; on the projector screen at the other side of the room, a black-and-white scan lights up: a glowing white skeleton in a shroud of dark. It’s definitely Peter—the way his skin and muscle barely lines his bones is a dead giveaway. The gruesome, shattered mess of his knee. The missing tip of his pinky finger.

And then Helen Cho starts to tap at her tablet again, highlighting each spot in red—cracks and cracks and cracks. Blurred lines where the bones have healed back together. Jagged points of mismatched bone where it healed wrong.

Until his entire X-ray lights up like a Christmas tree: multiple fractures curving through his pelvis, minor fractures crawling down his spine. Toes crushed that healed back together. Calves split slightly wrong. Cracks in his jaw that haven’t quite healed yet. Dents in his wrists, fissures spiraling through his hands, his ribs so broken-and-rehealed that one side is healed diagonal—bent inwards.

And Cho’s naming all of them like it’s a damn grocery list.

Clavicle. Scapula. His tibia and fibula, all the way through in one long split—long healed and blurry with bone calluses. His f*cking femur—the strongest bone in the whole body, and there’s healed remnants of two cracks there that go all the way through.

“Do you see this?” she says, stabbing her finger at the screen, at some minor dents in his radius and ulna. “His restraints—they got all the way to bone. Bone. He had so little muscle and fat there that it wore at his goddamn bone. Damaged the f*ck out of his veins—and it’s only because he’s enhanced that he’s not dead.”

And then she draws one long highlight of a circle around one spot on the boy’s head, and then the projector zooms in on the spot as Cho spreads two fingers on the tablet. “And do you see this? You see this? They fractured his skull— twice. Do you know how much force it takes to crack open a human skull like this? Do you? DO YOU?”

She presses her hand to her face—Helen is crying. Dr. Helen Cho is crying. “And his skin— god, there’s so much scarring, he… He…” She shakes her head, and she’s turning to the wall like she’s trying to hide her tears. “Some of them—the stitches, they’re all wrong, they’re all diagonal, and he—” She’s crying a little harder now, her voice going to that croaky, shaky place. “They’re pulled—diagonally—towards him. Towards himself. He—he—” she sobs. “He stitched up those wounds himself.

Pepper’s seen them. She has. Some of the kid’s scars are surrounded by clean and professional lines—probably done by that doctor who died. But others… Others are ragged, all wonky and sideways. That angle… She’d never noticed. The kid stitched up his own body by himself.

What did he even use? Surely they didn’t give him medical thread? How did he…

Pepper has to sit down; she feels sick, dizzy with what she knows—with what she thinks she knows.

Dr. Cho presses a hand to her face, wiping away at the tears there. “I—I'm going to fix this,” she says, her eyes bloodshot now. “I will.But…” And then Helen Cho looks pointedly at Pepper, her eyes round and dark. “When this is over,” she says, and she lets out this shaky sigh. “I’m going on a f*cking vacation.”

TWEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 5 — 3:56 AM

Dr. Cho removes his restraints that night.

There are red, irritated marks where the straps once were—the skin worn away by the metal-reinforced fabric. That kind of consistent pulling that Peter was doing—it was so slow, so persistent that the wounds didn’t bleed. They just wore at the skin, layer and layer until the skin kind of liquidated, bloodless, scabbing over with some yellowish-brownish color. It’s heavy on his good leg, the scab going all the way around, so one of the nurses applies an ointment and more bandaging to it. Now his legs, horribly, kind of match. Two bandaged legs.

Tony spends the rest of the night with Peter. Helen gives him a new drug—a muscle relaxant, something that will weaken him so he won’t hurt himself, but won’t pull away from his mental state.

And without the straps pinning him down, Peter Parker’s curled into a ball in the middle of the bed on his side, sleeping, shuddering, sweating through the pain.

Pepper thinks, then, of how many people have been affected by Peter’s kidnapping. Tony, isolated from all other people in his lab. Cassie, taken from her home kitchen. Scott Lang, forced to film the torture and then killed with such a blast that there wasn’t even a body to bury. May Parker, left in a months-long coma. Dr. Leonard Skivorski, kidnapped from his job and forced to operate on tortured children, shot in the head as he tried to save a kid. Harley Keener, left fatherless, his dad’s body so unrecognizable that the first autopsy couldn’t identify him. Steve Rogers, beaten so badly that they had to call a plastic surgeon to consult about his face.

She and Tony are still on edge after their last argument, and when she enters Peter’s room, Tony doesn’t even notice that she’s entered. Pepper supposes he must be used to it—hallucinating figures moving in and out of his lab just to have someone to talk to.

He’s speaking to the kid, who’s very asleep, breathing in soft pants. “You never used to look at him like that,” she says.

Tony doesn’t say anything.

“Maybe a little—that time he got shot, or that night in May, but… Never like this.”

Without even turning to look at her, Tony rubs his finger over Peter's knuckles; his fingertips brush the bandages around Peter's wrist. And he says, quietly, “The things I’ve seen, Pepper…”

She swallows. She wants to apologize for earlier, but she can’t find the words inside of her to do so.

And Tony stays with him.

WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 5 — 5:48 AM

Tony nods off at some point, and the next time that he wakes up, Peter is watching him.

The kid is sitting up in the middle of the bed, legs pulled close to his chest; Tony can’t imagine how much pain his knee is in for him to bend it like that.

The kid’s just watching him. and Tony just sits there—he knows now not to touch him, not to move towards him, just to stay still and quiet. “Mr. Stark,” Peter says quietly, without any prompt.

He wants to dive to the kid, and has to physically prevent himself from doing so in case he scares the kid. “Yeah,” he says, “Yeah, kid, it’s me. I'm here.”

And he’s moving oddly, weakly—that muscle relaxant is no joke, so his wrists (one casted, one skinny and bandaged) drape around his knees, slack. Peter whispers, mutters to himself in slurred words.

“It’s me,” Tony tries again, “It’s Mr. Stark.”

Peter doesn’t really respond to that, just staring at him with this dulled gaze, and eventually, when the stretch of time becomes painfully long, Tony swallows, and he says, “Peter.”

And the kid’s so obviously confused and he’s looking at him like he’s never seen a person in his life. “Tony,” he says.

“Yes,” says Tony.

“Tony,” Peter says again.

“Yes, buddy, yes.”

He’s just like before: quiet, jumpy, afraid. But he just keeps holding that teddy bear close to his chest, like the way a mother would hold a newborn baby. His fingers twitch lightly over the bear’s head, stroking. “Where,” he whispers, and he doesn’t say anything else.

All Tony wants to do is come closer. All he wants to do is soothe some of those whispers from his mind, to alleviate the questions he knows are wracking Peter’s mind. To touch his arm, to hold his hand, to touch his face, to comb back the hair from his eyes.

Peter’s still hugging that stuffed bear, so tender and gentle, his face turned into the bear’s, his arms guarding it as best he can. Tony doesn’t dare mention it—for fear the Peter realizes the bear in his arms is nothing but a toy, before he realizes that it’s not Cassie pressed warm against his front.

So he doesn’t say anything about her. Instead, he answers the kid’s question, saying, “You’re at the Tower, Pete. The Medbay. You’re in the Medbay.”

He mumbles a little more, whispering into the bear’s furry ear, pulling up his knees a little and gasping at the pain of it. “Careful,” says Tony, and Peter looks up at him again, as if just remembering he was there.

The kid blinks at him—slow, muddled blinks—and then glances to the door, then back to Tony.

Peter clearly doesn’t understand.

Although, it makes sense. Pile on months of brutal trauma, starvation, and abuse, combined with near-constant drugging, extreme pain, and restraints—and you’d get a really, really confused kid. And Peter just whispers, so f*cking quiet, “Help us.”

Tony thinks he mishears him the first time.

“You’re safe,” he says, an ache pressing at his chest, and he wishes for once that he could get through Peter’s thick skull with this one—but Pete’s always been a stubborn kid. A sweet, stubborn, smart, incredible whirlwind of a kid. “You’re out of there, kid.”

Peter just stares at him.

“Peter,” he says, “you understand what I’m saying to you?” He’s afraid of saying Charlie’s name out loud, or even the word bunker, because he’s trying not to frighten him. “We—we got you out.”

Just barely, just barely, the kid shakes his head.

His eyes seem to still on his bed, on his blanket , the ones displaying Star Wars-themed blueprints. Peter releases one hand from the bear and places his hand on it, spreads his fingers over it, touching it like he’s holding gold instead of a year-old blanket. He whispers something, and it’s so quiet that Tony doesn’t catch it: “Mine,” he whispers.

“Yeah,” Tony says, and he might cry if this goes on any longer, “yeah, kiddo, that’s yours. That’s all—all yours.”

Peter’s eyes go back and forth—blanket to Tony, Tony to the blanket. “Where,” he says again, his voice cracking. “Where…”

“The Medbay,” he says, desperate, and Peter’s eyes flick around the room. “You’re in the Medbay. You remember, Pete? See?” He points to the door, where they had Peter’s name written on it, just like it has been dozens of times before. “Come on, you gotta recognize it, right? You recognize” — me? do you recognize me, Pete?— “this place, don’t you?”

Peter has released the blanket and now is hugging the bear like a little kid—maybe it was his pleading tone or his pointing finger. His hands are shaking, trembling, plastic tubing still threading from both of them.

“I’m sorry,” Tony says, dropping his voice to a whisper. “I didn’t mean to—to scare you, buddy. I’m here. I’m here, Peter. Godfather, remember? Godfather.”

The kid looks at him, his pale, scarred face tucking into the bear’s, and those hollow brown eyes seem to fill with tears. “God—father,” he says again, and he ducks his head as soon as he’s said it, squeezing his eyes shut into crinkled cracks, tears sliding down his cheeks. “No, no, no…”

“Yes,” says Tony, and now he’s crying, too, tears coming out shaky and hot down his face, running into his grayed beard. “Yes—yes. It’s me, buddy. I got you out. We’re out, Pete. We’re out.

“Out,” Peter echoes, a raspy wisp of a word. He glances to the door, and his face twists, his whole face wrung with timid, upset confusion, and this time his voice cracks: “Tony….”

Tony wants to hold him. He wants to hold this kid and never let him go. He wants to gather the kid’s broken limbs, his lost finger, his scarred face, all of it—wants to gather him into his arms and hold him like he did on the jet, rock him to sleep, to shush him and stroke the hair away from his forehead, tuck his head into the crook of his neck until he’s calm again.

He wants to hold him.

But Tony stays there in his chair, barely a foot or two from Peter, and tries not to frighten him again. “I’m here,” he says, soft as he can manage, unshed tears aching in his throat while more come down his face, “I’m here, Pete… I'm right here. We made it out of there. We'resafe. You're safe.”

And the kid’s whispering to himself again, muttering into the bear’s head like he’s trying to reassure himself: something about Cassie, something about Charlie. More whispers. His arms tighten around the bear like he’s protecting it, and he squeezes his eyes shut and then opens them like he’s expecting Tony to vanish.

“It’s me,” Tony says, and when he leans forward, the kid cowers before him, cringing so hard that his eyes close. “Just me, buddy." Just me. Just me. "There’s nothing to be scared of, it’s just me.”

But then Peter opens his eyes again; and he blinks, almost in surprise, and then his face twists again, his face screwing up like an upset toddler, and he shakes his head. His neck is so thin, covered in those pale white lines from where Charlie held that knife to him, and with one hand Peter cups it. And then slowly, sleepily, the kid rubs his neck, scratches his neck, touches his mouth, and then presses one hand into his eyes, rubbing them with his knuckles one by one.

It’s such a Peter movement, something he used to do whenever he was tired, whenever he’d stayed over for too long and needed to, whenever he was exhausted after patrol or falling asleep on the couch. Whenever it was past his bedtime.

At that thought, Tony can’t help the tears that come.

“Tony,” the kid says again, and he’s f*cking shaking again, hugging the bear like it’s his baby, “Tony, Tony…”

“Yeah,” he responds quickly, too quickly, “I’m right here, buddy…”

And in a croaky voice, barely loud enough to be intelligible, Peter hugs that teddy bear and speaks again. “You said…” Peter whispers, his voice this haunting rasp. “I… could call…you Tony…”

Tony feels like he might cry. “I sure did, buddy, I sure did.” It’s the longest sentence he’s heard the kid say since he got out of that hellhole, and it’s the sweetest thing he’s ever heard— like the rush of the ocean in a seashell, like the crackling of an open fire, like the gentle hum of an orchestra, like a dozen songbirds in perfect harmony. “You can call me whatever you want.”

And Peter nods, and his face bubbles up into a sob—his eyebrows sloping, his eyes closing, his whole body curling up, going small and tight. “Tony,” he whispers again, and he sobs with something like relief, into the bear’s damp fur. “ Tony…”

Notes:

love u all, plz comment, teehee
someone suggested a mini spin-off / one-shot where scott lang lives and is spending some time with cassie? i think that's a grand idea

also if some of u are wondering why peter's becoming lucid now of all times, i think it's a combo of some things—first, all the mind-f*cky drugs are now kind of gone, and also—remember, peter was kinda waiting for a punishment, and after his arm broke, he experienced that kind of intense pain that his body was anticipating for the past WEEK, and now that he's finally got it... he's calm. which is horrible but also feels kinda real

ALSO i have still not figured out how to post the link to ghostkttn's fanart so here's the link? hopefully u can just use that? https://imgur.com/a/C9AKZHz

from left to right, top then bottom, it's: peter, cassie, charlie, then bottom row is ava, the doctor :( and riri!! so f*cking good, ur an ANGEL bro, cassie's and charlie's are my two ABSOLUTE FAVORITES< and i love that u included she's half chinese because that's just my own personal hc and u did it anyway!!! oh her sweet little scared face!! love u

Chapter 34: a minute from home

Summary:

to be clear - peter is very very confused. he can't really tell when he's speaking and when he's not, can't tell where he is, and his vision is kind of f*cky from like mental sh*t, so i hope that's clear. if ur too confused by something just comment and i'll answer lol, and pray it's not a typo lol

Notes:

plz don’t hate me haha i’m working rly hard on my thesis - got 2 midterms due this week, so i’ve been studying like crazy, couldn’t leave you with nothing but this is barely anything :( i just thought something was better than nothing? plz bear with me! midterms r a bitch! i wrote this all in like 2.5 hours cuz im literally insane

it’s just one scene, the same scene as the last scene of last chapter (33, where peter kind of comes back to himself) but it’s all from peter’s perspective instead, should be fun

drink up lads

chap title from 'the view between villages' by noah kahan because the chorus makes me cry every time i listen to it

cw: uhh references to violence and torture, minor reference to beck ig

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 5 — 5:48 AM

Peter is afraid.

He can feel his body where it is—a surface below him, a ceiling above him, and everything hurts—EVERYTHING HURTS—it always hurts, it always hurts, ALWAYS HURTS, THEY’RE GOING TO—THEY’RE GOING TO—his right arm aches something wild, a claw of icy pain scraping across the bone, an ache growing and growing—IS IT OVER?—IS IT OVER?—IT’S NEVER OVER—

But he has time—he has time before they come again , and he holds Cassie against his chest—THEY’RE GONNA TAKE HER FROM YOU—YOU HAVE TO KEEP HER SAFE—KEEP HER SAFE—KEEP HER SAFE—keep her safe. Keep her safe. It’s the only thing he’s good for; it’s the only thing he can do. His body is a thing. His body is a thing and he is not here. Peter is not here. Peter is not here.

But that smell— like hazelnut coffee, like freshly washed hair. Peter pulls himself back, and he finds himself in a room. Walls. Door. The door is closed. Left side—empty. Right side—a man. A man— that’s—that’s—

But this man. He's hair is dark and grayed, his eyes are brown, and he's tall and thin, and his hands are trembling. This man is in his room, and the man is awake, and the man has a beard, and he’s looking at Peter with sad brown eyes.

Peter hasn’t seen this man in a long time.

Stranger. Not a stranger. Grayed beard, brown eyes, smile, smile, smiling… He knows—he can’t think—he can’t think—his mind dips into nothing, into swirling black, and Peter shuts his eyes. Can’t look—don’t look, can’t look, DON’T LOOK—HE’S GONNA—HE’S GONNA—but it’s, it’s the man he knows, and he watches the man, his eyes absorbing every detail. And there he is. The man is sitting down across from him, and he’s looking at Peter, and his gaze burns on his skin. That’s Mr. Stark. THAT’S MR. STARK— AND YOUR PRECIOUS STARK IS GONNA WATCH YOU BLEED—

Yeah. Yeah, kid. It’s me. I’m here.

In front of him is a stranger with a familiar voice, and the stranger is speaking to him—a voice, a word, and he cringes, holding that warmth against his chest—Cassie. CASSIE. Cassie’s here. She’s here, she’s safe, she’s here and he’s holding her. He whispers to her a secret: he doesn’t know where he is. He doesn’t know where he is—he doesn’t know where he is— he doesn’t know where he is—

But he knows him, the man beside him, and this achy warmth glows in his chest. MR. STARK—MR. STARK—HELP ME—HE’S GOT ME—HE’S GONNA KILL ME—

It’s me. It’s Mr. Stark.

There’s that voice again, and it’s clearer now, hidden by a haze of ever-trembling panic. They’re never going to get out. They’re going to die here. They’re going to die here. They’re going to die screaming and Mr. Stark is gonna watch— YOU’RE GOING TO DIE SCREAMING, PARKER, I’M GONNA TAKE YOU APART ONE BY ONE—YOU REMEMBER THAT FINGER? I’LL TAKE OFF ANOTHER ONE, HUH? YOU’RE SO HUNGRY? SHOVE IT DOWN YOUR f*ckING THROAT—THEN MAYBE STARK’LL LEARN HOW TO DO WHAT I SAY—I WANNA HEAR YOU SCREAM—

Peter.

Peter. Peter. He’s Peter. Peter. Peter Parker. He has to look—he has to look. Peter opens his eyes, and he finds a room. Walls. Walls. Floor. Door. Door. The door is closed. Closed door. Closed door, not cracked. He’s safe. Not safe. Never safe—NEVER SAFE—WHERE IS HE—PETER—PARKER— CRY FOR ME PARKER, GIVE STARK THOSE BABY TEARS, SHOW HIM HOW MUCH IF HURTS—IM GONNA BLEED YOU DRY YOU DISGUSTING f*ckING FREAK—

And the man is looking at him, and he is looking at the man, and he knows his name. Shuddery panic in his chest, and Peter squeezes Cassie close. Tony. Mr. Stark. Tony. Mr. Stark. TONY—HELP ME—HELP ME—Tony. Tony. Tony Stark. Tony.

Yes.

TONY—TONY’S HERE—HE’S HERE—SAVE ME—TONY—

Yes, buddy, yes.

YES—YES—TONY—HELP ME—

STOP—STOP—STOP, CASSIE’S HERE —Cassie— Cassie’s here. Cassie. Cassie. His Cassie. She’s here and breathing against him, warm against his chest, and he hugs her tighter. She’s safe. She’s safe. The door is closed. Peter strokes her warm head, holds her against him. He’ll keep her safe. He keeps her safe. He is here. “I’m here,” Peter whispers to her, and he gathers her closer in her arms, tucks her face into his neck. Here. Here. Door is closed. Footsteps—no footsteps. Who’s coming? Who’s coming for him? SOMEONE’S COMING FOR HIM—

Walls. Floor. Bed. The door. The door is closed. If the door is closed—there’s no one here. No one here. He’s safe. Cassie’s safe. So where is he? WHERE IS HE—is he dead?—HE’S DEAD HE MUST BE DEAD—HE’LL NEVER SEE OUTSIDE AGAIN— YOU’LL NEVER ESCAPE ME, PARKER! YOU’LL NEVER—RUN—AGAIN!

But he’s not in the chair—THE CHAIR NOT THE CHAIR NOT THE CHAIR—he’s in a bed. A bed. Soft and warm and he’s so f*cking confused—is he in heaven? Heaven. He thinks of heaven, and it must be like this. White. Warm. Soft. Heaven. Where—where—WHERE—

You’re at the Tower, Pete. The Medbay. You’re in the Medbay.

Tower. Tower. He remembers the Tower. Flakes of memory—a tall, shiny building. A warm smile. He remembers—Mr. Stark said. He said. He said he would always save him. Save Peter Parker. Save Peter Parker. SAVE ME, SAVE ME, SAVE ME, SAVE PETER—but he’s not Peter Parker anymore—he’s a thing, a body, a corpse of a boy—he can’t remember who he is—CANT REMEMBER—CAN’T REMEMBER— LOOK AT THE CAMERA PARKER, OPEN YOUR EYES—OPEN YOUR f*ckING EYES OR I’LL CUT THEM OUT MYSELF— they’re coming for him, they’re coming for him, they’re gonna cut him open wide— THEY ALWAYS COME FOR HIM—THEY ALWAYS COME FOR HIM—but Mr. Stark, Mr. Stark, they have Mr. Stark. Grayed beard. Brown eyes. He’ll never see Mr. Stark again—MR. STARK—MR. STARK—HELP ME, MR. STARK—HELP US—

You’re safe.

SAFE—not safe, never safe, never safe, he’s never safe—

You’re out of there, kid.

He opens his eyes wide, and he’s so frightened that he shakes—he trembles in his entire body, and he clings to Cassie, warm and soft and here. A room. Walls. White walls. White—white floors.

Peter, you understand what I’m saying to you?

HERE—HERE—here. Peter’s here. He’s here with the stranger, the stranger with the familiar voice. He’s. He. He remembers something—he’s been here before, like this, last time he woke up. This bed, this bed, this bed—he hadn’t sat on something soft like this in so long, so long… Blankets. Blankets. When’s the last time…

We—we got you out.

Before. When they tried to get out. But they don’t try to get out anymore— YOU f*ckING FREAK! YOU’RE NOTHING! YOU’RE NOTHING! YOU’LL NEVER RUN FROM ME AGAIN— he’s a freak, he’s a stupid f*cking freak—he’s stupid, so stupid, and they’re never getting out—

But he’s on something—a soft something, a something—it’s familiar. Bed. He’s on a bed. Blanket. His blanket. Warm and soft and his. THAT’S MY BLANKET. MINE. MINE.

Yeah. Yeah, kiddo, that’s yours. That’s all—all yours.

The blanket. His blanket. They lost their blanket a long time ago—Charlie took it—CHARLIE TOOK EVERYTHING THEY HAD—AND HE PUNISHED THEM—HE’S GONNA PUNISH THEM—Charlie’s voice wanes in and out of his sickly mind. WHEN YOU DISOBEY ME—YOU GET PUNISHED—PARKER—LOOK AT ME—I SAID LOOK—

He jerks his eyes open and across the room. Walls. Door closed. Bed. No cuffs. No table. He’s scared. He’s so f*cking scared. Where is he? Where is he—WHERE IS HE?

The Medbay. You’re in the Medbay. You remember, Pete? See?

The man’s there—his voice sounds strange, like he’s dangling off a ledge.

Come on, you gotta recognize it, right? You recognize this place, don’t you?

THIS PLACE—YOU’RE NEVER GONNA LEAVE THIS PLACE—YOU’LL NEVER SEE THE SUN AGAIN—I’LL CARVE YOUR f*ckING EYES OUT IF YOU TRY— he hugs Cassie so hard and her warmth presses against his chest. Keep her safe—keep her safe—KEEP HER SAFE—SHE’S NOT SAFE—HE’S—HE’S COMING FOR YOU—HE COMES FOR YOU AT NIGHT—WHEN EVERYONE IS SLEEPING—

I’m sorry. I…didn’t mean to—to scare you, buddy. I’m here.

HERE—HERE—Peter’s vision goes blurry, sideways, and he presses his face into Cassie’s head. He doesn’t want to look—he doesn’t want know what happens—whatever they’re gonna do to him—it’s gonna hurt—

I’m here, Peter. Godfather, remember? Godfather.

Godfather. GODFATHER—help me, Mr. Stark, help me, you said you’d help me—YOU NEVER CAME—YOU’LL NEVER COME FOR ME—BUT THEY DO—THEY ALWAYS COME FOR ME—Pain travels up his arm, wicked like a lash, and he whimpers. No, no, no, no more—NO MORE—HE CAN’T TAKE ANY MORE—HELP ME—

Yes…

Peter hears a sound—a sob— and he zeroes in on the sound. There’s a man in the room— there’s a man in the room— and Peter feels sweat warm to his skin. But the man is familiar, and he’s a couple feet away, and he smells like hazelnut coffee. The man sobs, and sobs again, and Peter whispers his name into Cassie as he holds her. He knows him. He knows him. It’s Tony. It’s Mr. Stark. It’s Tony.

Yes—yes. It’s me, buddy. I got you out. We’re out, Pete. We’re out.

OUT. OUT. OUT. HE’S NEVER GETTING OUT—HE’S—where is he? He finds the room again. Walls. Door. The door is closed. The door is closed. It’s just him and Cassie—him and Cassie, him and Cassie—and the man in the chair. Tony. Tony. Tony, the man in the chair. TONY—HE’S NEVER GONNA SEE HIM AGAIN—HE’S GONNA DIE LIKE THIS— YOU’LL NEVER SEE YOUR FAKE-DADDY AGAIN, PARKER—I’LL KILL HIM LIKE ALL THE OTHERS—AND I’LL MAKE YOU WATCH—

He can hear his own voice as he speaks—and it comes out of him in a whimper: “ Tony.”

I’m here. I’m here, Pete… I’m right here.

Tony. Tony’s here. How can Tony be here? It’s a trick—it’s a trick, and he whispers to Casssie what he knows: it’s a trick, it’s always something, keep quiet, keep quiet—they won’t hurt you if you’re quiet. He’s dreaming—he must be dreaming—

We made it out of there. We’re safe. You’re safe.

The man is crying again, his face shiny with tears, and it’s frightening—Charlie never cries— Charlie never cries— Charlie hates when they cry, when Cassie cries—it’s not Charlie. It can’t be Charlie—

Peter shifts, but his body won’t listen—it doesn’t feel like the drugs—and his arms loop around Cassie, warm; he can feel her heartbeat against his chest. If he’s dreaming—if this is a nightmare, then Cassie knows how to wake him up. Wake me up, Cassie— WAKE ME UP, CASSIE—I DON’T LIKE THIS—THAT CAN’T BE TONY—TONY IS GONE—TONY IS GONE—TONY IS GONE—

It’s me—

And the man moves, and Peter is hit by an anvil of fear, crushing him in a white wave, and he cringes, tightening around Cassie—PLEASE—PLEASE—PLEASE—NO—HE CAN’T—

Just me, buddy. There’s nothing to be scared of, it’s just me.

Peter finds himself drifting away, untethered, his mind going wispy and blank. The fear is in him, like chilled water in his veins, and it’s acidic in his gut, writhing. And when he opens his eyes, the man is still there—Tony. Tony. DON’T HURT ME PLEASE—I’LL BE GOOD—I’LL—I’LL DO ANYTHING—

Another sob from the man in the chair, and that achy warmth returns, pooling in his chestMr. Stark. Mr. Stark—Tony—TONY—Tony, he smells like hazelnut coffee, clean and warm, and Peter always dreams of him. He hasn’t seen him since before, since before, since before—

Peter can’t remember before.

But he remembers Tony.

Tony.

That voice, always there—always there for him, crying for him, telling him— you’re okay, you’re okay, I love you, Peter—I’m here, I’m here— always screaming for them to stop, always begging for mercy—

And it never worked.

But he was always there.

His one—his only good thing in that Chair.

He thinks of the Chair then, of the stink of vibranium, of those cuffs, and he’s shaking again. THE CHAIR—NOT THE CHAIR—NOT THE CHAIR—NOT THE CHAIR— TONY, he chokes out, and his voice sounds so alien, TONY—HELP ME—he wants the man to say something, to whisper to him, to hold him close—

Peter has a vision of himself suddenly, his mind painting it in slow brushstrokes around him: he’s warm, wrapped in white blankets, and his whole body is one massive pain, like he’s laying on hot coals. But he’s wrapped in blankets, and there’s soft bandages looped around his wrists, and there’s a man holding him. Not the way Beck holds him—pinning him down—or the way Charlie holds him—by the throat—but cradling him, holding him gently to his chest.

And Peter is warm, his arms curled to his chest, and he tips his head into the man’s arm. And the man whispers to him, softly, and the voice is not sultry or angry: the voice is kind. And he’s whispering: I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry…

Charlie and his crew said a lot of things: but they never said they were sorry.

Peter comes back to himself—to the man in the room. White walls, white floor, white ceiling. White bed. Door. The door is closed. And the man is there still—grayed hair, brown eyes, teary smile.

Tony.

It’s Tony.

Mr. Stark always said he could call him that.

On the phone, too, when Charlie was there: IT’S ME, IT’S TONY, I’M HERE—I’M HERE—I’M SORRY—I’M SO SORRY—

The memory is so fuzzy, like it’s run through a shredder. It’s the only thing he can remember right now—the man’s name. Peter frowns, and holds Cassie to his chest, and he croaks, YOU SAID, and his voice comes out of him like an echo, and the man looks up. Tony looks up. I COULD CALL YOU TONY—

The man’s face breaks into a smile, and Peter cringes away from it. I sure did, buddy. I sure did.

This isn’t real—this can’t be real—but the man is so still. If it was Charlie, he would’ve moved by now, would’ve come after him—HE’S GONNA COME AFTER HIM, HE’S GONNA—HE’S GONNA—no, stop it, stop it, stop it. Tony—that’s Tony. And he’s here—here in front of Peter, and he has Cassie, and he has Tony, and he’s in this white room.

You can call me whatever you want.

The door is closed, not cracked.

For now, no one will hurt him.

Tony. Tony. Tony. He squeezes his eyes shut, and he tightens himself around Cassie, curling his broken knee up to his chest, and it hurts so badly it takes his breath away. It’s Tony. It’s just Tony.

Yes—yes—it’s me. It’s me.

Peter whimpers, and he hugs Cassie, and he knows he’s crying but he can’t stop the tears.

You’re okay. You’re okay, bud. Come on, buddy. Come back to me. You were there—you got it—I’m here.

TONY, he says again.

I’m right here. I’m right here, buddy. Come back to me. Look at me. Look at me, Peter. I’m right here.

TONY—TONY—TONY—IF HE’S HERE THEN WHERE IS CHARLIE—THEY’RE COMING FOR HIM—THEY CAUGHT HIM, TOO—THEY’RE COMING—

No one—no one’s coming. It’s just me, Pete. It’s Tony. You’re okay, you’re okay…

Peter and Tony. Tony and Peter. But if Tony’s here then WHERE IS HE—

You’re in the Medbay. The Tower. Remember, Pete? Avengers Tower. You used to come here, and I’d get you all fixed up… I’d help you, I’d… I’d… Oh, God.

MEDBAY, he whispers, and the word is filled with memories of color. He knows—he knows—but this has to be a dream. It’s always a dream, it’s always a drug-toxic swirl of images on the room’s ceiling, a pain-wracked vision right before he passes out, a dream he has with Casse at his side… Dream… It’s ALWAYS A DREAM, ALWAYS A DREAM…

Not a dream, kid. I’m right here. Just open those eyes for me, buddy. Look at me.

Shakily, one by one— he has to look— Peter opens his eyes, and he finds the man in the chair. Tony. TONY, he says again.

Yes. Yes, Pete, you’re doing so good, so good…

YOU’RE HERE, he chokes out, and the word bubbles into a sob. TONY’S HERE—TONY’S HERE—TONY’S HERE—

He’s here.

He’s here.

Tony’s looking at him, and his face is shiny with tears; his eyes gleam. “Right here, buddy, and I’m not going anywhere.”

DON’T LEAVE ME—

“I won’t,” says Tony, with aching sureness, and he’s inching closer and Peter is crying so hard he can’t see.

He feels surrounded, ambushed, like Charlie’s swarming him and pointing his fingers, like he’s there, cackling, laughing, like he’s gonna scream, GOT YOU PARKER! and rip the curtain from before his eyes. Like the door’s gonna open and there’ll be Charlie, crazed eyes and bearded chin, massive and sweating and holding that f*cking hammer— PLEASE DON’T LEAVE ME—

“I got you,” he says, and he’s so far away, but Peter’s sure Tony would hurt him if he came any closer—and it’s so f*cking scary, like there’s a ticking time bomb in the room, and Peter’s sob comes out of him like vomit, liquidy and violent. “I got you, I’m right here, you’re okay, you’re okay…”

PLEASE, PLEASE… And Peter imagines, then, that Tony is holding him like he did in that dream—cradling him to his chest, warm and swaddled in blankets, stroking back his hair, telling him he’s safe. He chokes on the wish and bows his head, pressing it to Cassie’s. He wants to be safe—he wants to be safe.

Peter wants to be safe—like that day, safe in Tony’s arms again.

For a moment, he looks at Tony—the man in the chair—and heseeshim. Grayed hair. Brown eyes. His beard scraggly and too long. His face with that desperate hint of a smile.

Peter's never felt sohere,so grounded, and he can feel again the sensation of blanket against his feet—he can almost feel him there, holding him, hugging him, rubbing his back.

He's here. Tony's here. He came for him.

Notes:

plz don't hate me lol i'm in midterms and could only get this much out this week, i'm doing my best

love you all!! i can't believe we finally got to 40k hits!! thank u so much!!! any suggestions, ideas, typos that need to be fixed, anything - plz lemme k, i love responding to comments haha, keeps me writing - more comments = more incentive to write istg

i got class in an hour and i gotta do my readings before it, so i'm just posting now - PLZ LEMME K IF THERE ARE TYPOS BECAUSE I WILL BE SO EMBARRASSED IF I FIND THEM MYSELF LATER

love u all, so so so so much, take care of urselves, stay safe out there truly

Chapter 35: i feel like i know you

Notes:

chap title: from ‘punisher’ by phoebe bridgers

yo these lyrics are literally so peter-coded: “i can’t open my mouth and forget how to talk / cuz even if i could, wouldn’t know where to start / wouldn’t know when to stop”

in other news someone made a BEAUTIFULLL animatic of the first chapter, here's the link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gsLdI5jr6WQ
PLZ WATCH IT ITS SO INCREDIBLE

cw: graphic-ish descriptions of sexual assault, like verbal descriptions, and mentions of violence

gotta go to class, see u

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 5 — 5:48 AM

Peter keeps looking at him.

He barely takes his eyes off of Tony unless he hears another noise, in which case he jerks his eyes quickly to the door, scans the room, and looks back to Tony. The kid looks more awake than he ever has, his eyes scanning Tony’s face, his beard, his hands—like he can’t believe he’s real. Peter keeps whispering his name, and then rubbing his forehead, and then closing his eyes.

They’re sitting in limbo, this remarkable place—where Peter’s eyes are on him, and his eyes are on Peter, and they just exist. “You came,” the kid keeps whispering. “You… You…”

And right now, Tony’s not trying anything too drastic; Pete hasn’t mentioned Charlie or Cassie or anyone else. Right now, he’s just trying to keep Peter where he is, letting the kid figure it out on his own. Moment by moment, minute by minute, he’s inching himself forward.

The morning is rapidly approaching.

Tony can feel it like the cinch of a rope around his neck, looming closer; as soon as seven o’clock hits, a nurse will come in to check on Peter, and she’ll wreck this perfect little bubble they’ve created in this room. “You know where you are?” he whispers, and Peter just blinks at him; those scars on his face shadow strangely across his face—remnants of knives and blowtorches and belts that went the wrong way.

God, everything they did to him. Tony tries not to think about it, but it’s there, written all over Peter’s skin like a goddamn splatter painting—his skin, all of his skin, and the burn on one side of his face, the flesh burnt to a pale shine. He remembers that day—the day with the ear—like it was yesterday. The way Peter immediately stopped talking. That gut-wrench of a scream. The recoil of several of the guards as they pressed their hands over their noses. And then…Charlie’s sick cackle over Peter’s screams, still waving that hissing blowtorch like it was a f*cking glowstick.

“Medbay,” says Peter quietly, a wisp of a word. He’s hiding that left side of his face again, hair falling over that side, his one visible eye focused on Tony.

He’s so proud of him. He’s so f*cking proud of him. “Good,” he manages, and his voice cracks a little. “That’s so good, buddy.”

And Peter shrinks under the praise, ducking his head, his eyes flitting to the bed.

They sit in quiet for a little longer—Tony wants to touch him, he really wants to touch him, but he does nothing but sit with him. For now, having him alive and lucid and breathing is enough. Peter Parker is just as Steve described him: a shell of his former self, a shell of a f*cking person , with only three emotions: quiet, jumpy, afraid. He’s seen glimpses of others: worry in the way he whispers to the bear, confusion as he looks at Tony, even nostalgia when he touches the blanket. He’s still in there. Peter’s still in there. He has to be.

Those bruises on his neck are a purpled green, clear fingermarks. They’re still there. They’re still there. Peter used to heal bruises like f*cking papercuts—now he’s so f*cking emaciated that he heals like a regular human being: fifty times slower than he used to.

The clock ticks by, and Peter sits there, holding that brown, furry bear against his chest like a baby, cradling it and whispering to it and stroking its head. He’s not completely there; the kid’s mind still drifts, his eyes glazing over, and then Tony has to bring him back with a few words. “Peter,” he says, as the kid falls quiet again. “Peter—Pete. Come on, buddy. Come back to me.”

It’s slow, but it works. The kid will re-scan the room, holding the bear, bending his broken knee as though it’s not shattered—f*cking—bone. “Tony,” he says again, his pale face slack with fear, but this time he adds, “...you…” Peter’s trying to say something, but the words aren’t coming to him; he breathes in, a sharp gasp, and then he tries, “They… They…” It must hurt to speak, because the kid winces. “ Charlie,” he whimpers, the word clearer than the rest.

“He’s gone,” Tony says, “He’s not coming. No one” —that’s a damn lie, the nurse’ll be here soon— “is coming, Pete. It’s just you and me, buddy.”

There’s a long stretch of silence as Peter takes that in.

“You,” he echoes, “and…me…”

“Yeah,” Tony says, leaning in a little closer to the kid.

The glance of Peter’s eyes to the door gives him away, as though he’s saying: But… “Charlie,” he says again, and his voice is so f*cking shaky. “He… He…”

“He’s gone, I promise,” Tony says, and he wants to say it a million times over. “I promise. He—he’s never gonna come near you again. It’s just me, just me… Nobody else, just you and me…”

The kid’s working his way back to lucidity—it’s a tough climb, and Peter’s clawing at every inch of bedrock for a ledge to grasp. Peter nods then, hiding his face in the bear’s furry shoulder. His fingers tighten over the stuffed creature and then relax. Again—tighten and relax, tighten and relax. He whispers something else about Charlie, something about the door, and then he falls quiet, breathing in these long, trembling gasps, his body so still he could be a statue.

He’s seen little Cassie Lang do this, too; whenever something becomes overwhelming, usually a person entering the room, she’ll go so utterly still—like quick-drying cement. “He’s gone,” Tony says again, and he refuses to say the man’s name. “He won’t—he can’t hurt you again. We’re home now.”

Tony wants to take his phone out of his pocket. He could text Helen or Pepper or anyone else, but he doesn’t want to scare Peter—doesn’t want the kid to think he’s taking out a weapon. So instead he just sits there with Peter, trying not to move too much, trying not to frighten him.

“Okay,” Peter whispers finally, but it’s been long enough that Tony doesn’t know if it’s a response to what he said or if the kid’s just talking to himself again.

Peter doesn’t say anything at all for a while.

WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 5 — 7:01 AM

THERE ARE TUBES IN HIS HANDS—there are tubes in his hands, the backs of his hands—they feed into him—but it doesn’t feel wrong, thick and heavy, a wet blanket over his head, doesn’t feel the same. He—he—he—he’s sick with memory, and he sees Tony in front of him—TONY—REMEMBER?—HE’S HERE—HE CAME BACK FOR YOU—CAME BACK—He feels f*cking insane, and he sees for a second a man above him with a phone flashlight and a needle pricking into his forearm, and someone whispering: More, he needs more, he’s still…

But he’s here now, in the white room, and Tony is here, too. He hugs Cassie and reminds her of what Tony said. She’s not asking any questions—she’s tired. He’s tired. He’s always tired. “Someone’s gonna,” starts Tony, “um, gonna come check on you…” and the man glances at the door so he does, too—someone’s there—SOMEONE’S COMING—NO—NO—he can already feel it, can already hear Charlie’s whistle, that sharp high sound, and he finds himself moving—FIND THE WALL—FIND THE WALL— UP AGAINST THE WALL, PARKER! STAND UP! STAND THE f*ck UP!—

“...him, buddy,” says that voice, and he jumps at the sudden sound, “not him. Just… Just a doctor, okay?”

The doctor. He knows the doctor. Blondish-gray beard, kind eyes, the white labcoat. The labcoat—god, his head hurts again, and he sees it in front of him like a f*cking projector, the blood-spray— blood splattered over that white coat, over him—the doctor’s head—his head—gone—

“Someone nice,” says that gray-bearded man, “is that okay?” and he’s already forgotten where he is. He finds himself on the bed again—that blanket— his blanket— and— “Peter,” the man says again. “Pete. Pete, come on, buddy. I’m right here.”

Peter. Why does he keep forgetting? He’s here. He’s here. Tony’s right here, and he’s Peter. Peter and Tony. That makes him feel a little better, and he touches his fingers lightly to Cassie’s back and tries to remember that he’s Peter. Peter—Cassie calls him Peter. Cassie’s here, and she calls him Peter. “Tony,” he says, and his throat aches something wild. He doesn’t sound like a Peter anymore.

“Yeah,” says the man. “Yeah, Pete.”

“Doctor,” he echoes, and he wants that man in the white coat. He wants him to hold him—to kneel beside him and tell him what’s real. THE DOCTOR—HE WANTS THE DOC—COME ON, DOC—I NEED YOU, I NEED YOU—he’s in a place. Tony said he’s in a place, a good place— he remembers this place. He remembers laying in this bed, in this room: white ceilings, white floor, white walls. His poster—his poster—that’s his. His. It’s red-and-gold: Iron Man. Iron Man, CASSIE—GET UNDER THE BED—no, she’s here. Here with him. In this room. His room—HIS ROOM, HIS ROOM—he could be safe here, he used to be safe here, him and Cassie safe together, he could… Medbay. My room. MY ROOM—THIS IS MY ROOM—THIS IS PETER PARKER’S ROOM—Peter, Peter Parker, and his name sounds all twisted up in his head. “Tony,” he says again, because it’s a name, because it’s something he knows, because every time he says it he can feel the room get a little bit more real.

In front of him, the grayish-bearded man smiles at him. “That’s me,” he says, and Peter hides his face.

WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 5 — 7:01 AM

Dr. Sarah Wilson is the one they send.

She doesn’t touch Peter at all, in fact; she just looks up at the computer screen still monitoring the kid’s vitals, squints at it like she’s memorizing, and then sits down. As soon as she does, settled into the chair beside Tony, the kid relaxes a little, his shoulders making a little dip.

“We’re just gonna do a quick exam,” she says. “Just gonna check his mental status—we call it the alert and oriented test. Four questions, that’s all. I’d like to do a more thorough test when he’s a little better—but for now, this’ll be quick. How’s he been?”

“Good,” says Tony, looking to the kid, who’s mumbling soundlessly to himself on the bed, eyes hawk-trained on the new doctor. Sure, Peter’s barely speaking and thinks a teddy bear is a little girl and keeps fading into a f*cking comatose-fugue state, but he’s here. He sees Tony and he’s here. “He… He’s present—he’s been…good.”

For Peter’s sake, Sarah Wilson takes short, slow steps; it’s like she’s barely moving at all. She doesn’t hold anything in her hands, and she’s wearing a white labcoat over her day-clothes: a blue sweater and beige slacks. The kid’s staring mostly at her white labcoat—he doesn’t even bother to find her face. “Four questions,” she tells the kid, although he doesn’t say anything back. “Just four, Peter, is that okay with you?”

A moment, and the kid nods: a minute motion, barely a fraction of an inch.

“Can you tell me your full name?”

He squeezes his eyes shut. “...Peter…” he whispers, and he’s choking the words out.

“And your middle name?”

A glance of reassurance to Tony, and he nods. “Ben…jamin,” the kid says, his voice so quiet that Sarah just nods in response. That one seems to come easier.

“Your last name?”

He squeezes his eyes shut again. “Last…” And then he kind of starts to shake, his gaze going still, fixed on the door, and Tony starts to speak to him again. It’s a few more minutes until he starts to blink again, rapidly, like he’s clearing his eyes of tears.

The first question is done. “You’re doing so good,” says Tony, and Peter’s eyes scan over him like he’s searching for something. “So good, buddy.” He doesn’t respond at all; he just stare openly, worriedly, at Tony.

Then Sarah moves on to the second question: “Can you tell me what year it is, Peter?”

To that, Peter trembles. He’s still holding the bear, and he whispers to it a couple times, saying his own name a couple times, and then falling silent. He looks to Tony again with that wretched look, his face twisting in upset; the scars on his face are the only still thing on his face, stretched lines where the skin-and-muscle refuse to move.

Sarah knows his history—he knows he was gone for months. So why would she ask… “Sarah,” warns Tony, and the woman presses on, saying, “Do you know what year it was before?”

“Before,” echoes Peter, in this haunting whisper, and he goes so quiet that even Tony’s prompting can’t pull him out. They take a few moments to coax him back to life;

The third question: “Do you know where you are?”

“Medbay,” he insists, and he closes his eyes. “Med—” He starts breathing hard. “Where… Where…” His breath comes into him in a rattle, a low whine, and leaves him in quick rushes, air a raspy hiss.

Sarah quickly moves on. There’s just one last question, the fourth: “Can you tell me why you’re here?”

They watch the kid as he withers beneath the question, and he buries his face in that bear, breathing in rapid huffs. In, and then out, faster in, faster out, and he’s gasping out words that neither Sarah nor Tony can understand. “Medbay,” he manages, and he moves his knee again with that little whimper of pain. “Tony…”

“Yes,” says Sarah, “but do you know why?”

“Sarah,” warns Tony, a second time.

“It’s okay if you don’t,” she says, softly.

The kid doesn’t say anything for a little bit. Then he looks at Tony, and this expression comes across him, something heavier than relief: exhaustion. “Godfather,” he whispers then, still cradling that bear close to his scar-riddled chest. “…Tony… godfather .” The kid’s brown eyes focus, refocus, and still on Tony—he’s making eye contact— he’s making eye contact— and he croaks, “Right?”

Tony’s vision fills with blurry, salty tears; that’s Peter. That’s his Peter. “Yes, yes— yes, Pete, that’s right. You said it, and I came for you—I’ll always come for you.”

WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 5 — 2:27 PM

Tony won’t leave the kid.

Not to go to the bathroom, not to eat, not to sleep—he’s been there all damn day, and by the time Pepper peeks through the door to check on him, he’s still there.

The nurses keep checking in—but they’ve lowered the nurse visits to four a day, and they use the same one each time: that blonde-and-pink haired woman, Nurse Kaelyn, who Peter seems slightly more at ease with. She’s small, and she’s tattooed, and she’s very kind, always telling Peter exactly what she does before she does it. If Kaelyn touches him, it’s always quick, so quick that the kid barely has time to react; and she’s not afraid to take it slow, or to wait until Peter’s ready.

Pepper’s gonna give her a f*cking raise.

Pepper and Tony are still marked down as Peter’s temporary guardians, so Sarah comes to Pepper to give her an update of Peter’s condition. “He's come a long way, Pepper,” says Sarah, sitting down with her in a nearby conference room. “He managed a couple sentences with me, even.”

“And the test?” she asks. “Did he…”

She nods. “Two out of four, roughly. I wouldn’t call him oriented by any means, but he’s alert—and that’s definitely an improvement. Out of the four categories: person, place, time, situation. He got person and place—he can identify people in the room now, but… Time—he had no idea.”

Pepper nods. “Well, the little girl—she didn’t know how long they’d been in there, either. That might just be… I don’t think they were giving them regular updates, you know?”

Sarah some of this down. “And for situation—he just said a couple words and deteriorated a bit.”

“What did he say?”

“Godfather,” says Sarah. “Does that mean anything to you?”

A smile eases into her face. “That’s his, um, a code word.” She explains it quickly—how he and Tony set it up if Peter ever needed emergency assistance. A simple word: godfather. And if either of them heard it, it meant drop everything and run to him.

Sarah writes this down, too. Her notebook is getting fuller by the second, smooth black cursive on the page in even lines. Diagrams, too—upside down, she sees Peter’s name in several. “It does seem, though, like some of his verbalizations are…well. Do you know much about echolalia?”

“Not much,” Pepper admits.

“It’s an imitative behavior—a symptom, really, probably leftover from his time in the bunker, but… It just seems he’s repeating a lot of the words said to him. It’s unclear if these words have meaning to him, or if he… If he understands what he’s saying at all.” She turns the notebook around to Pepper; there’s a list of words on it, everything Peter must have said during those few minutes. “I want to be clear—it does mean some good things for Peter, I want to say—means his short-term memory is very much intact, and after the damage that was done to his brain, that’s a really, really good thing.”

Pepper nods. Good. They’re in short supply of good things for Peter.

“Echolalia could be an indicator of many things—it’s healthy, even. You see it usually, um, in toddlers.”

Pepper blinks. Toddlers?

Sarah nods, noticing her unspoken question. “Yes. It’s how children learn how to speak—how they learn to construct sentences. If they hear ‘Mama’ enough times, they’re gonna say it back. It’s also common in cases of autism, stroke, dementia, aphasia… Not that Peter’s struggled with any of that, I’m just letting you know—it doesn’t mean anything bad. Truly, it might help us understand him a bit better.”

“So you think he’s better?” Pepper asks.

“I do,” says Sarah, without hesitation. “I think he’s trying , I really do. He’s… He’s starting to understand where he is. That’s a good sign. He’s speaking, he’s calmer” — calm? Pepper echoes in her mind; this kid’s anything but calm— “and he’s clearly feeling a lot safer, especially with Tony there.”

Pepper thinks, suddenly, strangely, of the baby in her belly. The little boy, little girl, little infant inside of her. That baby will grow into a toddler, into a kid, into a teenager just like Peter. Pepper is two hundred and seven days along—an unimaginable amount of time—nearly thirty weeks, nearly seven months. There are stretch marks on her belly now, long pink wrinkles of lines extending up from her mons, winding up past her belly button as her skin continues to grow. She’s not worried about the marks; she likes them, even. She likes the permanence of them—evidence of what’s happening to her. Evidence of every day she ran her hand across the stretch of her belly and whispered, You’re gonna be okay. We’re gonna be okay.

Helen told her yesterday that her baby has hair now. Hair. She wonders if this baby will have Tony’s dark Italian hair—or hers, strawberry-blonde.

For some reason, Pepper finds herself wishing for Tony’s.

WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 5 — 6:19 PM

Bucky finds him in the conference room.

His blond’s just sitting against the wall, all the way in the far corner, sitting on the floor.

And he’s got his knees pulled up to him, his arms folded, his forearms resting on top of his knees. His head is bowed a little, his shake of blond hair falling forward. “Helen gave me the shot,” says Steve quietly.

For just a moment, Bucky thinks, Why wouldn’t you ask for me to be there? and then he remembers.

“Gonna be cured in a week,” he says, moving his palms over his knees, “so if you…” Steve lets out this cold huff of a laugh. “...want to…” He waves his hand, but the expression on his face only goes grim. “Sorry for the wait.”

Bucky kneels beside him. “Stevie,” he says, very carefully. “Do you honestly think I’m thinking about that right now?”

Steve gives him this horrible shrug, and his hands go still on his knees. “It’s all I think about,” he says, “now, anyway.”

Bucky has this strange, sickening vision of Steve in that cell—of that brown-haired man leering above him with a bloodied hatchet in one hand and a smoking gun in the other. “Steve,” he says again. He’s only ever been gentle with one person in his life—Steve—and he tries his best to stay gentle now: moving slow, his hand going gentle over Steve’s clothed arm. “Stevie, look at me, baby.”

The blond does look—up at Bucky, once, and his face twists.

“I would never do that,” says Bucky, and he means every f*cking word. “You know I would never do that to you, right?”

Steve Rogers stares at him then with this awful—f*cking—look, and then he lets out this horrid sigh, like he’s swallowed rat poison and can feel it eat at him. “Oh, God,” he mumbles, hands on his knees. “Baby, I… I don’t know… I think he… He really f*cked with me in there. He… He…”

Bucky knows exactly what this feels like; he doesn’t say that, though. He just sits back on his heels, and he keeps his hand on Steve’s arm, trying to be some kind of comfort. This is what Steve does for him—and now it’s his turn.

“He shot me first, you know,” says Steve, quiet, and dread inches its way into Bucky’s chest. Stevelifts his hand and taps his shoulder. It’s long healed now, thanks to the serum, but it must still hurt—a phantom pain, maybe—because Steve winces when he touches it. “There was, um, blood on my hands…when he…when I unzipped his…his pants. So it was hard to do. My hands kept…kept slipping.”

Bucky just sits, and he listens. This is the most Steve’s said about it since it happened.

“He had jeans on,” he continues, with this tone of resigned misery, “A belt, too. Leather. A nice one. And he had a…a gun. With a silencer. Held it to my, my neck. Right here.” Steve reaches up with his hand—the cast now gone—and taps his neck, just below his jaw. “The whole time. I don’t really remember that part, the—the—” He swallows, and his mouth parts, and he keeps going. “I kind of, you know, prepared myself—I knew it was gonna be—be bad. So I just…” He touches the side of his head, tender. “…left, you know. But he, um. He got kind of, violent, you know, near the end, so it brought me back, and I remembered what was happening, and I—” He shakes his head. “I tried to stop it. I shouldn’t’ve…”

He felt bad that he tried to stop it? He felt bad that he tried to— Bucky has to press a hand into his chest to quell the sudden burst of rage in his chest. Steve doesn’t need rage right now. He needs Bucky.

“I think that’s why he… Why he…” Steve coils his arms around his knees and tips his head into the them, and this time he speaks to his legs instead of Bucky. “After, I… I thought I was gonna be sick, and when I bent over, he…”

Bucky nods, and he tries to curb the dark pit of rage in his belly.

“He pushed me against the wall and, um. He.” His voice breaks on that first word, and he presses his hand over his eyes. “He put his hand on my stomach and, and he pulled my shirt. Out.”

And without looking, Steve mimes the motion, his hand ghosting over nothing, and his fingers tremble. “And,” he continues, his voice high, “I remember being so— confused, just really, really confused—because I didn’t—I didn’t know that was part of it. The deal. I thought it was—” He takes a shaky breath. “—over, I thought it was over… so stupid…”

“You’re not stupid,” says Bucky, as gentle as he can manage right now.

Steve shakes his head, and he takes a couple more trembly breaths before continuing. “And then he… He asked me something—I don’t remember. The drugs…” He waves his hand. “And then he—he touched me, stuck his hand down my goddamn pants, and… And I just took it. Let him do it. Like a… Like a—”

“No,” says Bucky firmly, but he’s trying not to stop Steve, so he just lets him talk.

“His nails were long, so it, um—” His voice cracks and Steve just shudders a little. “He wasn’t trying to make it feel good, you know? He—he wanted me to—to know he could. That he could—could hurt me—I mean, it hurt a little. He wanted it to. And he just kept—kept—” Another shuddery breath, and Steve’s blinking back tears. “It took—took a long time because I—I was—I was in a lot of pain, you know—my shoulder, and my head, and everything else, so it wouldn’t, like—” Two rapid breaths, and Steve’s chest is going in and out as quick as a pumping heart. “I—he—it wouldn’t—he made me—I didn’t want to—I really didn’t—I—but I—he made me, he made me— f*ck—”

“You’re okay,” Bucky whispers, because Stevie’s coiled up tight as a drum, his whole body in this muscled-taut mode, like he’s trying to crush himself from the outside in. “You’re okay.”

“And when it was over—he shot me again, and—he—he made me—He made me beg for it, Buck. He made me… He made me f*cking crawl to him and—and f*cking beg. He… He…” One hand presses hard into his stomach like he’s trying to quell the bile there. Then, so quiet: “Then he put the gun, to my back, and his shoe was, was on my back, and I thought… I thought… Because he kept making me say it, that he was gonna… that he would…”

He knows. He knows.

“And I—I didn’t want to be—be awake for it, if it happened, but I—but I—I thought, I—I remember thinking—if I passed out, then… Then he’d go after Peter instead—so I—I just—f*cking—braced myself—and stayed awake—and he still had the gun to my back— ” Then Steve shoves his hand over his mouth, and he makes this wretched huff of a sound into it, and he bows his head like he did that day with the table, one arm around his stomach and the other over his mouth like he’s trying to stop the words from coming out. “And—and—” He’s crying , trying to muffle the sound into his palm, wet and salty. “There’s so much—so much I don’t remember—”

“Stevie,” he says, like his name is a comfort alone. It’s usually Steve who does this for Bucky—not the other way around, and there’s something wrong with this. Watching Steve Rogers wither because of that f*cking psycho. He’s glad he did what he did—pulling all the man’s teeth out one by one, making sure it hurt. He should’ve taken more. He should’ve taken more.

“I think—I, I passed out after, and then I was awake and he’d—he’d—my shirt was gone, and I could feel—I don’t know. He’d. He’d touched me, he—he—I know he had, because everything hurt and my… I… I was on my stomach, and he, um. He stepped on me.”

Stepped?

“Right into the shoulder, the bad one, and I kind of went out again… I don’t—I don’t remember, I don’t…” A ragged inhale. “And then someone opened the door, took him away, and he just, just left me there.”

“Steve,” he whispers.

But the blond still won’t look at him. “And I know—I know it’s nothing nothing compared to—to what Peter went through, but I—I—” A ragged inhale. “I just—I can’t stop thinking about it, Buck, I—I’m—he—”

“I know,” Bucky says this time, and he’s close enough to touch Steve, but he doesn’t. “I know.”

“And when you—” His arm curls around his stomach, tighter, and his hand falls away from his mouth. “When you came in, I… I thought it was him again, Buck. It was your voice and I swear to God—I thought it was his.”

“Oh, Steve,” he whispers.

“And—I know it’s stupid, but…”

“It’s not stupid,” he says. “It’s not.”

“But sometimes… I keep thinking… Sometimes, when you touch me, I f*cking feel him, Buck, I—it’s like I’m back in that cell, and my head’s all f*cked up, and I just… God, It was so… It was just so goddamn humiliating , Buck, I—I’ve never felt like that before. Peter was there, and he was just watching us with that blank—f*cking—stare, and I know he saw the whole thing. I hoped he didn’t, but I know he—he knows. He saw. He saw me…” He shoves his palms into his eyes then, both of them, and he makes a tiny, wretched sound. “He…”

“Steve,” Bucky says, “you know I’ve been through, similar…”

And then Steve is crying. Really crying, like the day when they rescued him. “I know—I know—and this wasn’t even that bad—yours was worse—Peter’s was, was worse—I’m not trying to… To… God, I just don’t understand why I can’t just—why I can’t—just forget—”

“Stevie,” Bucky says sharply, “there’s no—no, there’s no worse. I don’t want to hear that sh*t, okay? What happened to you was real, baby, and he hurt you, and you have every right to be…” He doesn’t know the word he’s looking for, and Steve’s still pressing his palms into his eyes like he’s trying to blind himself. “...upset.”

“But I'm Captain America ,” he says miserably, and the words feel very small as they leave him. “I’m better than this. I… I…”

“Would you say that to Peter?” says Bucky, as Steve continues to cry. “Or to me?”

“No,” he says, a sob, “but it—it’s—it’s different, for me, I’m—I’m not…”

“You’re not what?”

“I don’t know,” he whispers, head in his hands, tears coming out wet on his fingers. “I don’t know, I don’t know…”

Then Bucky touches him again, and Steve doesn’t flinch; he just touches his arms, and Steve reaches for him, shifting a bit against the wall, and they’re holding each other, chest against chest, knees between, on the f*cking floor of this conference room. “I understand,” Bucky says, and that dread is uncoiling in him because Steve is listening, and he knows this is the only thing that Steve needs to hear right now. “I see you, Steve—I see you—”

Steve sobs suddenly into his shoulder. “Buck…”

“I don’t blame you,” he whispers, “I’ve never, ever, blamed you. You’re a hero.”

“Bucky…” He’s pressing his nose into the crook of Bucky’s neck, and breathing in those hitched noises.

“You’re still a hero, Stevie,” he whispers again, and he holds Steve tighter, and tighter, and he can smell his sweat and his soap and his f*cking tears off his skin. “you’ve always been one.”

Notes:

i know i never mention this but like there is a lot of sexual assault mentioned in this stuff. so if this is something you've been through like i know it's hard. i think i started writing about it as a way to get through mine, and like it's just something that you never get over. sometimes people can make you feel better about it, but like it's really really hard. but it's a f*cking ghost of a thing, and i want you guys to know like if this is something you read/write like i get it. don't feel bad about it, cuz like therapy doesn't f*cking work for everyone. sometimes you just need to like, know that other people get it. know that those feelings are not just trapped inside of you. i didn't feel like much of a person after it happened to me, felt like it made me into some kind of f*cking creature, and that's like a normal feeling. and it's okay.

therapy doesn't work for everyone, confronting the person doesn't work for everyone, even talking about it doesn't work for everyone. it just sucks. it's just something that sucks. and you gotta live with it. but like it's okay - and you live, you move on, you keep going. but like we're still ppl. we're still here, and we made it, and we're still human beings. and i see you. it sucks, and i see you.

anywayyyyy

i think next chap will go more into some of the upcoming legal stuff, more of peter's mental state, some of cassie's fs, if u got any ideas for scenes def hit me, i'm going off the skin of my teeth out here

Chapter 36: my black shroud

Notes:

i’m procrastinating my work like a motherf*cker so i thought hey, why not - thanks @Manny555 for the idea, u had me thinking bro. and it’s not gonna be exactly what you were expecting, but it’s something. sooo, thank manny for this little surprise chap lol,

friendly reminder that good ideas get u surprise chapters

chap title from 'should have known better' by sufjan stevens, great song

cw: hint of a hint of a mention of a rape kit

don't skip the last chap by accident lol, make sure u read both

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 6 — 8:00 AM

Happy Hogan is honestly not sure what his job is anymore. The Tower is a mess—new staff are all over the place, old staff moved from the compound are even more disoriented, and security is handled sporadically by Avengers and other superheroes, anyone willing to help out. Sometimes, Happy monitors the phones, sometimes he monitors the staff intake, and sometimes—sometimes he manages the cameras.

He’s sitting in the camera room eating a too-large helping of ramen from a white-paper takeout box, forking it into his mouth with wooden chopsticks. His eyes flick from one level to the other; most of the floors are in use, but there’s only two he’s paying attention to, really: the Medbay and the lobby.

And today, standing outside of the building and staring up at the security camera with twin withering stares, are two kids: one large and black-haired in a striped shirt, the other skinny and brown-haired in an oversized black sweater.


He remembers these kids. Peter’s friends. Ned…and Michelle. MJ.

The girl holds up her phone to the camera, and there’s one word displayed across the screen: PETER.

“Goddamn it,” Happy says, tired, and he scrubs his hand down one face. He forgot about these kids, honestly. He’s spent so much time worrying about Peter that he hasn’t had time to think about much else. He gets up from his chair, and the weight of him squeaks the metal springs. He definitely gained a few pounds since he found out about Peter—which, startlingly, two months ago to the day. It’s the way he’s always dealt with thing since he was young—eat and you’ll feel better. “JARVIS,” he says, peering again at the two kids on the grainy camera. “Beep them in, but only into the lobby, okay? No elevator access.”

“Yes, sir,” announces the British voice from above. “Edward Leeds and Michelle Jones-Watson, clearance level one: white badge.”

Happy wipes some of the soy sauce from his cheek, and he looks miserably down at the food in front of him. He leaves the takeout there, throws on his black blazer, and heads for the elevator.

The kids are in the lobby when Happy arrives.

He heads right for them, passing through one row of turnstiles, pushing through the revolving metal arm; the gate beeps, lighting up a bright purple, as he goes through. They look worse-for-wear, their clothes wrinkled; MJ’s usually frizzy hair is a complete mess, tied back in some kind of tangle, and Ned looks tired, his eyes rimmed with red. They’re sitting cross-legged on the floor speaking to each other, and they both stand when Happy arrives.

Between them is a second row of turnstiles, and Happy lingers on his side—those revolving arms are the only thing standing between him and the kids. “Don’t you two have school?” he says tiredly.

The girl gives him a withering stare. That sweater is much too big for her, swallowing her entire torso in knitted black, the sleeves drifting past her fingers, hollow. “Yes,” she says stiffly.

Ned gives in, though, ducking his head a bit as he talks; damn, that kid looks tired. “It’s the first day,” he says, and suddenly this whole scene makes sense.

“Oh,” he says, and the girl only glares at him.

They’re just kids. They’re just kids, and here they are—waiting to see their best friend after he’s been kidnapped and tortured for five months. They probably want to go play decathlon or build legos or recite memes to each other. Not check on each other in hospitals, not wait listless at the phone for a sign of life, not sit in the Tower lobby waiting for a word. They want to see him alive and well—and they won’t.

“Where is he?” asks the girl. “Can we see him?”

“We just wanna know,” says the boy, Ned, as the girl inches closer to the turnstile, “that he’s okay. You said he… He was okay, right? Is he still…”

Okay. Peter Parker was anything but okay. He was alive, he was barely lucid, and so traumatized that he was speaking in goddamn riddles, and he was definitely not okay. “He’s alive,” says Happy, and he tucks his phone into his pocket. “He’s…”

Happy was never going to finish that sentence; he doesn’t know why he even bothered to start it.

The girl’s at the metal turnstile now, and she slaps that white badge at the scanner: a blink of white light glows at the turnstile’s screen: a beep of refusal. “Is he here?” she says, insistent, slapping the badge once more against the sensor—another beep. “We have to see him. He—he’ll want to see us—did you ask him?”

Did he ask…

God, these kids have no idea.

“Ask him,” Michelle Jones continues, and her brow slopes a little, betraying a flake of worry in the teen girl’s face. “We’ve been calling, like, nonstop—do you people know how to answer the phone? If he—he’s gonna want to see us. We’re his—we’re his—”

“He needs us,” says Ned, with a more somber lilt to his voice. “Dude, please. Just let us see him. Is he—is he—like, awake?”

“He’s awake,” says Happy carefully.

Around them, several Stark Industries employees are starting to stare; a woman floats past them, scans her badge with a beep, and with a flash of green light, she enters and heads for the elevators.

The girl curses loudly and slams her badge down on the sensor. Another beep. “Oh, come on! Ask him! Ask him! He wants to see us! He missed us, I know he did!”

They don’t get it; neither of them do, and Happy doesn’t want to be the one to tell them.

“Then why can’t we—” Michelle Jones—MJ, right—slaps that badge for the umpteenth time against the sensor. A white light, and a loud beep—rejection. “Come on, man! We just… We just… We just wanna know he’s okay!”

What can he do? Lie?

Happy sighs tiredly. He feels old. He feels really, really old. He’s fifty-one years old, and he suddenly feels like an old man—in a rocking chair, wrinkled and peppered in age spots, his face in a perpetual wince. “He’s… He’s stable.”

“Can we talk to him?”

No. Happy rubs at his forehead; his stomach hurts now, pressing at him like something ill. “I don’t think that’s…”

“Is he hurt?” she demands, pressing her fist into that metal barrier. “Is he?”

Happy winces. “Yes,” he says quietly; that’s the one question he can answer without a moment’s hesitation.

Ned, in a wavery voice: “Is it bad?”

“Yes,” he says again, in the same still voice.

The girl slams her fist into the barrier. “Is he okay? What happened? Can you tell us what happened?”

“He’s…” he tries.

“Can we see a picture? A video? Anything? We deserve to know! I wanna know what happened to him!”

“I can’t give you specifics,” he says. “You’re not family, and Peter—”

“Tony said he, he needed,” says Ned, and his voice drops to this horrible, kid-like whisper, “a… a…”

“Yeah, well,” says Happy, knowing exactly what the kid’s trying to get at, “he shouldn’t’ve told you that.”

Truth is, they’ve all been breaking HIPAA this whole f*cking time. Left and right. Helen Cho’s outburst, even—displaying the kid’s entire injury scan in a roomful of superheroes? Not exactly her best move. But… This is hard. And none of them have seen anything like it—so they’re just…moving on.

“It’s bad,” says Happy. “It’s really bad. That’s all you need to know. I can’t—I can’t tell you—”

“So you can’t give us any more than that?” snaps MJ. For someone so young, her voice is cutting. “Peter’s our best friend. We were—we were—”

She sighs harshly then, and MJ fumbles through her pocket and pulls out her phone, quickly tapping through it to open a row of blue bubbles onto her screen. Messages. “Look,” she says harshly, and she tips the phone towards him.

She shows him the last texts she got from peter. It's in a group chat with her and Ned; she scrolls up a little and stops, leaning the phone onto the metal turnstile so that he can see it properly.

He realizes then, with a twist in his gut, what she’s showing him. At the top, a date and time when these messages began: Fri, Apr 6 at 7:31 PM.

The first one comes from Peter.

Peter: [mays taking me, kinda awsome right? b there soon]

It’s followed by a link to some Thai restaurant on the other side of the city. That’s the one they must’ve been driving to right before Peter was taken.

MJ: [do ur flash cards during dinner]

Peter: [make me]

Ned: [omg fight]

A picture of Ned’s flash cards, and a black furry creature that might be the kid’s cat sprawled out over them.

Ned: [kylo is helping me study]

MJ: [one more pic of ur cat and i’m gonna kill it]

Peter: [as kylo’s officla bodyguard im taking tht as a threat of natinal security]

MJ: [i ordered a contract killer]

Ned: [omg]

Peter: [this is war]

A moving gif of stormtroopers from Peter. And then another. And then another.

MJ: [one more and ur dead to me parker]

Yet another stormtrooper gif in response.

MJ: [that’s it]

MJ: [im giving brad ur spot]

Peter: [NOT BRAD]

Ned: [omg]

MJ: [study now parker]

Ned: [perfect hair brad?]

Ned: [wait put brad on the team he’s hotter]

Peter: [NED SHUT UP ADSKJDAK]

Ned: [sorry not sorry]

Peter: [mean]

Ned: [ur just jealous]

From Ned, a picture of a dark-haired teen—a screenshot, something from one of those social apps.

MJ: [stay mad parker]

Peter: [i literlly hate u]

Ned: [omg fight]

And Peter sends a little flashing meme, and Ned sends a Star Wars gif, and MJ texts them something incoherent—something that’s a string of acronyms that Happy doesn’t really understand, and that’s the end of it.

It’s kid stuff. Kid stuff.

Happy feels this horrible twist in him, like someone’s taken a corkscrew and twisted it into his belly, turning, turning, turning.

The last messages Peter had sent: the final one, from MJ, was sent 7:31 on Friday, April sixth. Minutes before the car crash—minutes before he was taken from his own car, shoved into the back of a van, and disappeared for nearly five months.

Five months these kids had spent sitting, fretting, worrying, knowing…

MJ snatches her phone back then, clicking it off with the side-button. “We’re his best friends, Mr. Hogan. We know about you—everything he’s ever told you, he told us” —she thumps at her chest with that— “first. We know all about Tony, about Pepper, about everything he’s been through.” You don’t, Happy thinks sadly, You really, really don’t. “We’re his best friends.

“Can we see him?” manages Ned, his voice croaky. He looks as though he’s about to cry, a shine in his eyes.

What would happen if he let them see Peter? Even a picture? He’d probably scar them for life. Happy still can’t get that first image of the kid out of his head, no matter how hard he tries: that one photo floated around the Internet for hours before JARVIS got ahold of it: of Tony holding the kid on that mountain in New Hampshire,

“No,” says Happy, and the ache in his chest has him thinking about that takeout box he left in the security room. Ned’s looking at him now like he just tore the kid’s heart out with his bare hands, and MJ looks suddenly darker.

He’s never seen the girl like this. “Please,” she says, with such desperation, all tainted by anger, by frustration, by grief. “You have to—Mr. Hogan, he’s… He’s all we have.”

Happy swallows. “I’m sorry,” he says. “No.”

Then Michelle Jones gives him a withering scowl and shoves back from the turnstile, heading back straight into the lobby. Ned looks at him, squints his face into this sad wince, and shuffles after the girl.

Notes:

FRIENDLY REMINDER THAT GOOD IDEAS GET U SURPRISE CHAPTERS

im looking at u manny555

thanks dude

i literally could not stop thinking about it and now i have like 4 hours before my class but it was SO WORTH IT

love u, tell me if there's typos cuz i wrote this in like 3 hours

Chapter 37: you were scared (and so am i)

Notes:

got class soon so here you go

chap title from '30th' by billie eilish

not my best work lol but i'm working on my thesis rn

cw: references to CSA and SA, references to injury obv

for everyone’s sake rhodey is gonna call himself rhodey, i get that it’s tony’s nickname for him but like there’s too many characters named james/jim already, so everyone calm down

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 6 — 1:34 AM

James Rhodes has known Tony Stark for a long, long time.

He met Tony when he was in college—when Tony was fifteen and he was eighteen, and he was apparently the only one who didn’t know who the kid was. Found him in the back room of a frat party, way too many drinks in, puking his guts out onto the floor while a couple sophom*ores congregated around him, taking photos.

Rhodey didn’t know he’d just encountered the heir to the Stark Industries fortune—he thought it was some high school kid who’d wandered in. He put himself bodily between the guys and the kid, shouted them away like a goddamn drill sergeant, and helped the near-unconscious kid to a bathroom. He brought the kid back to his dorm and watched him—he was a small kid, wiry in the way comp-sci students were, and with the amount the kid had in his system…

So Rhodey watched him, tried repeatedly to feed him sips of water, and instead found himself rubbing the kid’s back as he puked, as he slumped helplessly into Rhodey’s side. When most of the vomiting was done, Rhodey stripped his bed of its sheets and put the kid into it, careful to roll him onto his side.

Sorry, was the first thing the little fifteen-year-old said when he awoke, blinking bleary at Rhodey’s dorm ceiling. Eyes half-closed. Arms curled around his stomach. Dorm light eerily bright on his paled face. I’m so sorry… And he’d passed out again, eyes fluttering beneath their lids, gagging in his sleep, and Rhodey had turned him onto his side. He’d called out for his mother in his sleep; and his father, too.

Rhodey spent the rest of the night caring for the boy—and he didn’t even know the kid’s name.

Rhodey has known Tony for so long; he’s spent more of his life now at Tony Stark’s side than not. Fifty-one years on this earth, and thirty-three of them spent with Tony. He’s seen him after one-night stands, after bouts in the hospital, after Obadiah Stane, after breakups and betrayals and the loss of his parents.

And he’s never, ever, ever seen him like this.

It takes actual hours of persuading to get Tony to leave Peter Parker’s side.

The kid’s been out of it all morning, slipping in and out of his foggy mind, completely absent—he hasn’t spoken a goddamn word since he woke up. “Just ten minutes,” says Rhodey. “Come on, man, we gotta get you cleaned up.” He knows that Tony hasn't slept in days—hasn't showered, hasn't eaten, has barely left to go to the bathroom.

It’s only once Pepper swears not to leave the kid’s side that Tony reluctantly rises, his legs shaking from the effort of holding his bladder, and exits the room with Rhodey. He takes his old friend to a quiet bathroom on one of the residential floors of the Tower—someplace no one will bother them—and he helps the man out of his clothes.

Tony keeps falling asleep against him. “Come on, man,” he says, urging Tony towards the shower. “Come on.” There’s a shower stool there, and Rhodey moves him into it because he’s having such trouble standing. It’s the sleep deprivation—or maybe the drugs. Or the trauma. A combo of all three, most likely.

The man’s barely been eating—let alone showering—so he does reek a bit. His hair has that oily tinge, all tangled up. Rhodey helps him brush through it—mostly Tony just sits on the shower stool with his head in his hands, barely responsive. Physically, sure, Rhodey’s seen him worse—beaten after Iron Man fights or bed-ridden from alcohol poisoning. But emotionally... God, Tony’s barely even moving.

Rhodey washes the man quickly—it’s nothing he hasn’t done for Tony before, given his proclivity for benders. But Jesus —Tony’s trembling like an old man, his arms and legs spasming even in his drowsy state. “The pills,” he whispers, when he comes to again, “I’m sorry—the—the pills…”

“I know,” he says, and Tony quiets; Rhodey’s noticed the man’s twitching since they freed him from the compound. It’s gotten better since they first found him. Now, it’s slower, less frequent, and at least allows him to make it from one room to the next without collapsing.

Since they got Tony to a doctor, Rhodey’s been the one making sure Tony takes his new medications: stimulants weaning him off of that sleep-deprivation drug, blood pressure medication, nutrition supplements, benzos, mild antipsychotics… An entire shelf-ful of them.

They’re out of the shower now, and Rhodey helps him into a new pair of clothes, too. He tries to help the man brush his teeth but Tony can barely hold the toothbrush still, so he just gives him a cup of mouthwash instead. Once he’s clean, he gets through Tony’s dreaded hair with a comb, gets a good amount of the tangles free. It’s much longer than it used to be—about two inches of hair, and it’s much grayer at the top. Rhodey supposes that must be the stress. He cuts away most of Tony’s damp beard with a pair of small shears, cutting away and away as Tony nods off again, lulled to sleep by the sound of the running water. He can’t shave it properly, not with Tony twitching so much, so he settles for a trim, getting it as close to his face as possible without nicking him. And all the while, Tony just lets him, occasionally drifting off to sleep as the water runs. “Oh, Peter,” the man whispers, his face buried in his hands, “oh, God…”

And once it’s over, Rhodey helps him up and back into the elevator, Tony’s arm around his shoulders, and he keeps patting the man’s back, hoping to give him some semblance of comfort.

He’s been thinking about it a lot these days—he abandoned Tony. As soon as sh*t hit the fan, Rhodey took Pepper’s side and left Tony in there. Didn’t second guess it, didn’t check on him. He just…left him there. Not that there were sides—because what Pepper experienced was real. Lord knows Rhodey had been there for its whole aftermath: the lab, the hit, the Tony holding a gun to his chin and his shaking finger to the trigger…

He failed Tony—just as they all failed Peter.

They make it back to the hospital room with minimal difficulty, and one of the nurses has set up a cot for Tony—the only place he’s been sleeping as of late. Rhodey helps him into the cot, and gives him a glass of water for the medications, which he takes one at a time with his tremoring hands.

Beside them, Peter Parker is asleep in his hospital bed, a space-themed comforter drawn up to his bony hips; without a glance to Rhodey, Tony reaches over, and with trembling fingers, pulls the blanket up over the kid's shoulders.

THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 6 — 10:49 AM

Jim’s stepdaughter is not the child she was five months ago.

She has horrible nightmares. Coming out of them is like pulling her through wet sand, thrashing and screaming like someone’s flaying her alive. And even when she emerges, it still clings to her; she’ll look around, shaky, as they coax her and hold her and show her that the room is empty. It doesn’t matter what they say—after every single dream, she always, always cries for Peter.

She can only sleep in Maggie’s arms. if they’re not touching for even a second—Cassie gets worriedly frightened. Even with Jim she is never quite at ease.

She's shaken by the smallest things. Food. Sound. Toys. Gifts. Even the small kisses on the head that Maggie gives her. Everything makes her tense—everything makes her scared.

Even the bathroom confuses her—it’s quite literally attached to the hospital room, just a quick trip through a door to visit it, but Cassie refuses to go inside.

Cassie won’t let go of her.

“Cassie, baby,” she says, because her little girl has started to tremble, “Mommy just needs to go to the bathroom, that’s all…”

They do this every time . Maggie needs to leave—then Cassie freaks out—and eventually Maggie gives and just takes her with, lets her hold her hand as she goes, like a toddler. That’s something Cassie hasn’t done since she was a baby, and now she’s doing it again, shrieking like a wild animal any time her mother’s not there. And they have to leave the bathroom door closed, too—because Cassie starts screaming when it’s open, the sound she makes like she’s in actual pain—and they’ll shut it as quick as they can.

Now, Dr. Alexis Miranda is back in the room, and she’s trying to encourage Cassie to play with her zebra toy—when the woman first arrived, all Cassie would do is hug it and whisper things to it. Now, at least, she’s attempting some form of play.

But the way she’s playing…

It’s…

“It’s not right,” says Jim, when Cassie’s in the room with her mother. “Doctor….”

“Alexis is fine,” she says. “And it’s normal. Your daughter has been through a lot of trauma, Mr. Paxton. This is a completely normal response to what’s happened to her—it might help you understand what she’s seeing.”

He glances back through the window of the hospital room—into the hallway.

“Honestly, I’m just glad she’s interacting at all—at first she wouldn’t engage with anyone, so I’d say she’s making tremendous progress.”

Tremendous?

Jim heads back into the hospital room with a pit in his stomach; as always, Cassie moves very suddenly when people enter the room, backing up, grabbing her mother in a cinch-tight grip, making small sounds, so he stops, waits until she’s used to him, and moves very slowly to his chair.

He thought she’d be less…jumpy by now. He supposes, in the situation she was in, she had to be.

Cassie’s holding her zebra and banging it against the side of the bed with this silent stare, whispering in a voice so quiet that neither Jim nor Maggie can catch what she was saying. Like she was hurting it. She’ll hold it down by the legs and press her fingers into its eyes, or she’ll put it facedown on her lap and squeeze its neck. She’s always hurting it—bumping her fist against it, squeezing it, whispering things to it that no one can hear.

Maggie tries to get her to play with it the way she used to—a play trot, wiggling across the bed like zebras do—but whenever Cassie has the zebra, it’s like she enters another world. Hitting it against her lap, covering its face with her hand. When Cassie had control of the toy, there was never any talking; that zebra never spoke.

With each new development in Cassie’s playtime, Jim Paxton grows increasingly disturbed. It’s not until Cassie holds the zebra by the neck and squeezes and squeezes and squeezes that Jim says, horrified, “Cassie, stop.”

And Cassie’s head jerks up like she’s just been struck, breathing in sharply, and she immediately drops the toy.

She clings to her mother for hours after that, refusing to look at the little stuffed zebra, and Dr. Alexis Miranda, that child psychiatrist in the pink scrubs, takes him from the room to speak to him.

“Jim,” says Alexis, “I know you don’t like it, but this is Cassie’s way of processing what happened. It’s completely normal.”

He wants to laugh. Normal? Nothing about this is normal. His daughter went missing for five months and everyone’s acting like it’s normal that she’s strangling her stuffed animals and wetting herself daily and wakes up screaming the name of a battered teenage boy. It’s not normal. None of this is normal. They’re sitting in Avengers Tower, for God’s sake. Captain America wanders the place like a ghost; a trembling Tony Stark roams from room to room; CEO Pepper Potts stalks the halls, one hand to her pregnant belly and the other pressing her phone to her ear.

None of this is normal.

His daughter’s so afraid to eat that she can only eat the way she did when she was kidnapped. How is that normal? She can’t sleep, she can’t eat a normal meal, she can’t go an hour without crying for Peter Parker.

He doesn’t like any of this—the Medbay, the psychiatrist who keeps telling them what’s normal and what’s not, the way Avengers keep floating in and out of Cassie’s room like they have some right to be there.

He just wants to take his little girl home. Cassie wouldn’t be acting like this if they could just take her home.

THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 6 — 1:41 PM

One of Peter’s IVs has become infected—the back of his left hand.

They catch it early—thanks God. Nurse Kaelyn comes in with a small bucket of supplies—she has lined the bucket with soft sheets ino order to minimize noise, and she takes careful steps in Peter’s direction, announcing what she’s doing as she does it. “I’m approaching your left side,” she says quietly, and Peter watches her, his breath coming out of him in quick shudders. Kaelyn is wearing a white labcoat; all of Peter’s staff are now required to wear matching coats like this, because it seems to calm him down.

On his other side, a recently-washed Tony Stark sits beside him, whispering to him.

“My name’s Kaelyn,” she says quietly, as her patient starts to shake. “Remember me? I’m a nurse. I’m just a nurse, that’s all.”

The kid trembles, staring at her with these wide, wary eyes, gaze shifting from her face to her hands and then to her white jacket. “Can I have your hand, Peter?” she asks, once. She thinks he might recognize her, which might be why he’s the calmest with her—she’s easily recognizable with her blonde-and-pink hair and her many tattoos.

The kid glances over to Tony, and Tony gives him this approving nod. “She’s okay,” he assures him. “Doctor, remember?”

“Doctor,” the kid whispers back.

The kid turns his hand towards her, but he turns his face away from it, his eyes squeezed shut, weak arm outstretched, like he’s expecting her to cut the whole thing off. She does it fast—she has to do it fast, or the kid gets so scared that he’ll have another breakdown. “I’m gonna touch your hand,” she narrates, taking the kid’s hand by the palm, like she’s gonna hold it instead of removing his catheter. There on his hand, the infection—pink and leaking clearish fluid, redness spread like a rash up the injection site, the rest of the plastic tubing curled up and taped by his wrist to hold it still—she twists the tubing from the injection cap first, telling Peter as she does it and resting the dangling tube on a table beside her.

“Okay,” she says gently, moving fast, gingerly, scanning his arm for anything else of alarm. “We’re gonna take off this tape right here, first—it won’t hurt at all—” And she peels off both sides from Peter’s pale arm, holding the tubing still as she does; the kid’s shaking so much that she’s having trouble keeping him still, and she moves a little faster, announcing she’s taking out the cannula, and swiftly presses the gauze and removes the needle in one smooth motion, pressing down over the now-bleeding spot, holding that white gauze down with two rubber-gloved fingers. “And we’re just gonna stay like this for a couple minutes, Peter—I’m not gonna move—I’m not moving.” She has to stay here—to make sure the bleeding from the site isn’t too bad, to keep pressure as the blood clots, and still the kid is shaking like a leaf.

“You’re doing so good,” Tony Stark is saying, as quiet as he can manage, “you’re doing such a good job, Pete. Just one more minute.”

Kaelyn’s not usually alarmed by blood or injury. But the amount of scarring on his forearm alone— there’s an pinkish inch-wide scar there on his skinny forearm that comes out on both sides. Both sides. And it’s months old. Like someone had taken a knife and it stabbed it straight through. In order to do that—the bone would have to be broken already, a wide enough gap for the knife to go through, which means…

She tries not to think about it, and she does her job.

When the time’s up, she tapes down the gauze to Peter’s hand, takes the used catheter for a blood culture, and leaves him quickly and quietly.

THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 6 — 1:41 PM

Dr. Cho tells him that they’re giving Peter a central line instead of a new IV. “It’ll work better in the long-term,” explains Dr. Cho. “It’s better for him, especially with the amount of fluids we’re giving him, we’re constantly changing out his—”

“What about other veins?” asks Tony. “You could—you could use one of those?”

She gives him a sad look. “Those people truly did fry many of his other veins—that super-soldier sedative was not made for people who never took the serum, and they were essentially overdosing him on it to keep him weak for such a long period of time. That and there’s scar tissue over most of those sites—this is easier for everyone, Tony, including Peter. And his reactions to needles, sometimes—”

“But he’s been better,” says Tony, desperate, “ please, he’s been…”

Tony doesn’t know why he feels like this—like Cho’s got Peter strapped down to a chair, like she’s holding a sharp blade to his chest, a hammer to his knee, a bucket of water over his face, a wire to his thigh. She’s just trying to help him, he reassures himself, and still it feels like a lie. He’s okay. He’s safe.

“Tony,” she says slowly. “This is a good thing, I promise. It won’t even hurt.”

So they give Peter the central line. It looks a lot different from an IV—a white cord feeding up into a vein in his upper arm, taped down in one large patch. It involves enough medical personnel and enough manhandling that Peter has to be sedated for the insertion.

Tony stays with him through the whole process: holding his hand, stroking his hair back, telling him that he’s safe.

Tony and Sarah put up a couple clocks into Peter’s room, as well as a permanent calendar displaying the year and date. Sarah explains it might help with some of his disorientation, get him rooted in the right place. A couple more of his blankets, too, the ones from the compound, because he seems to like them. He recognizes them, at the very least. “Mine,” he whispers when he gets it, and then Peter spends a long time painstakingly wrapping the stuffed bear in one of the blankets, his weak fingers struggling with the folding.

The other medical staff have given him a couple neurological exams when he arrived—but most were inconclusive given his scattered mental state. Sarah Wilson, of course, wants to perform a couple more. “He’s tired,” says Tony, feeling like he did with Cho—like he’s the only thing standing between them and Peter. “Sarah, please …”

“If we let him regress,” she says, “then I don’t know if we can get him back, Tony. Our best bet is to keep him awake, keep him engaged, keep him present.”

So they do that first test again—the alert and oriented one. Peter gets his name again, and the place—but the year question seems to shake him again, and the situation question starts him whispering about Charlie and hyperventilating with enough force that he starts to sway from the dizziness of it, and they have to give him a few minutes to calm him down—he spends the whole of it curling the bear into his chest and breathing in shuddery gasps.

“Don’t ask him about it,” he says when it’s over, and he grasps Sarah’s wrist suddenly in his hand. “Please—he’s not. He’s not ready. He can’t—he can’t.”

The woman looks at him, and then down at the hand on her wrist, and she gives him this strange, sad frown. “I’m not going to,” she says. “We’re nowhere near that place, Tony, I promise.”

FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 6 — 5:57 PM

They try other things to try to keep him awake. Pepper brings him jigsaw puzzles, some stuffed toys, Avengers action figures, board games, even his old Nintendo DS system, and she spreads them out on his bed like it’s Christmas. “Come on, Pete,” he says. “You recognize this stuff?”

It’s definitely got his attention—the kid’s eyes find each item and scan over them, and his eyes jerk back to Pepper abnormally quickly. And then he just… stares at her. “Peter?” she says, and he flinches.

He looks to Tony; his eyes are wide, confused, and he can already tell the kid’s drawing back into himself. He’s still got that nasogastric tube, that little plastic tube, and it’s taped sideways across his face, shifting slightly as Peter jerks his head around to look at them both. “It’s okay,” he says, but that tinge of sweat is coming over the kid like something foreseen, and Tony knows he’s going to go out again—into that fugue state, into that blank-eyed place. “You’re okay, buddy. You don’t have to—”

But then Peter’s chin goes up a little, his eyes going dull, his grip on that teddy bear loosening, and Pepper lets out a defeated sigh. The kid’s gone again, his face looking like it’s been wiped clean of all feeling, and the teddy bear has fallen into his lap.

So Peter doesn’t like gifts.

Tony doesn’t know why the blanket’s fine and the toys aren’t, why Pete can barely look at food, why he goes ballistic every time the door opens. And why did Peter touch his hand days ago, thirteen days ago—when they were in that New Hampshire hospital, when Cassie was in his arms—but not now? Maybe some part of Peter knows the teddy bear’s not real. Maybe he thinks he’s still there. Maybe if he got to talk to Cassie, he’d be able to stay stable. Then he’d know what was real and what wasn’t.

Tony keeps looking at that tube—that nasogastric tube, the one that’s feeding Peter because he won’t eat anything himself. It trails, white and curved, from his right nostril across his gaunt cheek—held down by a square piece of medical tape, trailing up and over the curve of his ear. We usually use the left nostril, Cho mentioned to him when they put the tube in, but with the state of his left ear, we… We thought the right might be easier.

He saw a lot of horrible, horrible things on that television—but he hadn’t expected this. Peter’s complete inability to function, his struggle to hold a conversation, his bare-minimum level of consciousness, his refusal to eat, his reliance on disassociation to get through the tamest interactions.

That’s what Sarah Wilson keeps calling it. Disassociation. Tony’s still not sure what it is exactly, but she keeps explaining. That doctor—Dr. Jackson, back in New Hampshire—had mentioned it, too, when Peter had gone all fugue-state. It’s not uncommon, she said, for victims of severe assaults to act like this. They find that it’s easier than being present for the assault itself. The mind just…tucks itself away for a while. Because Peter had gone through so much trauma, it was all he expected now—even a conversation, a gift could make him go out like this.

“I can’t be sure yet,” says Sarah Wilson, cracking open her notebook, “but Peter does show several signs of a dissociative disorder. He went through an unprecedented amount of trauma, Tony, and it makes sense that his mind would want to protect itself. It might’ve been the only way. Do you know if he…” She looks down at her notebook, and then back up at him. “...if Peter had any significant trauma as a child?”

God, Tony hasn’t thought about this in so long. About that day in March when he’d returned barely able to speak, about that day in December after that musical—when Peter had started screaming when Tony mentioned consent, about the day in May when he’d gone to that frat party and woken up in a delirious sleep, murmuring about rape kits.

“Yeah,” he says finally, and he almost chokes on the word. “I think he did.”

The woman watches him, and he shields his face with his hands—what is she saying?

“Trauma layers upon itself,” Sarah says quietly. “If he…responded like this to trauma before he was taken, then it’s… then it makes sense he would do it now, too.”

Back in March, that delirious-frightened-confused Peter had barely lasted a few hours. That was it. And Tony hadn’t seen it re-emerge for months. Now, he’s doing it every couple hours, just disappearing into his mind.

God, he’s so sorry. He’s so, so sorry.

And Tony just keeps thinking.

He keeps thinking about all the different ways this could have gone.

What if Charlie had taken him instead? What if Peter had been able to fight them off the day they took him? What if Pepper had found him after one month instead of five? What if he hadn’t hit her—what if he’d given her a sign? What if Riri had broken him out? What if Peter had managed to escape on his own?

What if Charlie had killed him?

Or what if… What if… What if he’d never met Peter at all?

SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 9 — 8:10 AM

A couple more days of rest, a couple more days of calm. They’ve managed to get him to eat a little bit—Jim and Maggie Paxton mentioned the food-in-a-can system they’ve been using for Cassie, and once Cho thinks it’s safe, they transfer some food into a can for him. It’s the plainest food they can find: a clear chicken broth that they fill with extra nutrients.

When they set it next to his bed, he doesn’t touch it—not until everyone leaves the room. And when they return, the can is empty, and Peter is lying on his side, his white-bandaged arm curled around his scarred stomach.

Sarah’s suggested many different treatments for Peter and Cassie—ways she thinks they’ll get better. Together, they all work on it—Dr. Cho, Pepper, Steve Rogers. The girl’s stepfather, and psychiatrist, too. Neither of the main parents are there: Tony is with Peter, and Maggie is with her daughter. “But what I think would be the best option,” Sarah says, “is to bring Cassie and Peter back together.”

“Out of the question,” says Pepper, turning to her. “You remember what happened the last time they were together—he wrecked his knee, he threw himself down a flight of stairs—

“But he was there, ” says Sarah. “Tony mentioned that Peter touched his hand, right? Figured out who Tony was in minutes—instead of days. That’s important, Pepper. For Peter to be lucid, he needs that little girl—”

“Look,” says Jim Paxton, black-haired, bushy eyebrows narrowing, “I don’t care how much trauma this kid’s got—I’m not putting my daughter in danger just ‘cause we’re trying to get some kid to wake up.”

“That kid,” says Steve Rogers, with a pointed look, “protected yours, so watch how you talk about him—”

“Protected? Take one look at Cassie—she’s hasn’t been protected, she’s been tortured —”

“He did the best he could!” snaps the supersoldier.

“We don’t know what he did!”

“Gentlemen,” says Sarah, “let’s try to find some common ground here—Jim, you’ve seen Peter with Cassie. He’s never hurt her, has he?”

Jim makes a small noise—a huff of discontent. “Nothing we’ve seen.”

“In my professional opinion,” she says, “from what I’ve seen so far, Peter is not a threat to Cassie. Would you agree?” She nods to the child psychiatrist, the one in the pink scrubs, who nods back. “It seems like whenever Cassie perceives a threat, she turns to Peter for safety—and I’ve never seen him express any harmful behavior towards her—”

“You weren’t there,” spits Jim, “how would you know about his behavior? He’s a teenage boy, I know teenage boys, they’re no angels—

“You weren’t there, either,” says Sarah firmly, “so how do you know he hurt her?”

Jim scowls.

“I’m just using my experience,” says the woman, “and what I’ve seen of them both—and I don’t think Peter is a threat to Cassie. To himself, to others, maybe. But not to Cassie.”

Pepper would agree. She’s seen the way Peter touches the teddy bear—gingerly, tenderly, like he’s afraid one wrong move will cause it pain. The way he curls around it whenever a door opens, the way he whispers to it that everything’s gonna be okay.

“So just because this kid’s got some post-traumatic bullsh*t, we’ve gotta put my kid in danger?” says Jim. “How is that right?”

“It’s not PTSD,” says Sarah, with a sincere frown. “Neither of them have PTSD, Mr. Paxton—in fact, helping them now could help them avoid more extreme symptoms of PTSD in the future.”

Dr. Miranda nods beside her.

“What they’re experiencing,” she says calmly, “is called acute stress disorder—we talked about this, Mr. Paxton. It’s common after a traumatic event—you could just call it shock, really.”

The child psychiatrist—Dr. Alexis Miranda—speaks then, adding,“Mr. Paxton, I need you to understand—your child is in distress. And it is my honest, professional opinion, that allowing her to be with Peter would help her significantly. She’s a child, and it’s clear to me that Peter acted as some kind of guardian while she was in there. She feels safe with him—and I think it’ll help alleviate a lot of her symptoms.”

Jim Paxton is clearly not entirely with the program—but he’s not heartless. He rubs his chin, and then he says, “Fine. Fine. But I need to be there—just in case.”

Sarah nods. “Tony and Ms. Paxton are already on board, so if we want to take a quick vote?”

Most of the hands in the room raise.

Dr. Cho, hesitant, looks around the room. She’s been quiet this whole time. “I still don’t think it’s a good idea,” she admits, “but Sarah, if you think we should…”

The woman nods. “It’s the best thing for them both.”

“Alright,” Dr. Cho says, with a nod to both psychiatrists. “Tomorrow, then.”

Notes:

lmk if i make typos plz cuz there was a lot of random editing happening in this one, plz lmk

special thanks to ratherthepoint and nonexistantartist for giving me feedback on medical/social workish stuff! bc i am DEFINITELY no doctor, im so stupid when it comes to science, and you guys have rly helped me out, thanks so much

btw that injury that nurse kaelyn references is from the like second chapter when peter gets stabbed through the left forearm - thought it'd be fun to have a callback to that, esp since lilol made that animatic

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gsLdI5jr6WQ&ab_channel=rozalil

here's that link again plz watch it aha i love it so much

anyway see u guys next week lol, luv ya

plz continue giving me ideas, all the ones i've gotten have been amaaaazing

Chapter 38: all the quiet nights

Notes:

yo so this is just an extra chap i wrote cuz i'm a psycho, one of those flashback ones, and it takes place during their last escape attempt, so if u just wanna skim chap 4 for the basics, it'll reference some random stuff from back then

anywayyy it’s important to recognize that peter has basically no memory of this. that’s a combo of him having a massive head injury immediately after, and also because he wants to block some stuff out. which is mentinoed in chap 4, he legit remembers zero of this

chap title from 'i will' by mitski, the whole song is so peter-and-cassie coded it's unbelievable

cw: violence, references to torture, not rly attempted murder, nonconsensual drug use, blink and you miss it suicidal ideation, kidnapping obv, i guess some references to the concept of child abuse? wack

oh and cuz this is technically a flashback it's going in 'thought i found a way out' too, jsyk, don't be shocked when it pops in there

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

TUESDAY, MAY 8 — 5:03 AM

(THIRTY-TWO DAYS INTO PETER’S CAPTIVITY)

(ONE HUNDRED AND EIGHT DAYS BEFORE HE IS RESCUED)

(THEIR FINAL ESCAPE ATTEMPT)

Peter Parker has been very quickly losing track of time since their last escape attempt.

After that last beating, Peter couldn’t even move ; he spent all of his time delirious with pain, laying flat on the floor and trying to breathe through it. It was so bad that he couldn’t stitch them up himself, and Cassie had to do it for him.

That’s kind of horrible, isn’t it? That he made a seven-year-old suture up his wounds, ones he got from some kind of f*cked-up wire? She did the best she could, and he used his sticky-hand power to seal off most of it, but he was so f*cking tired… He’d wake up passed out on the floor, his body reeking of sweat and blood, and Cassie would be sitting there beside him as though standing vigil over his corpse.

Since then, recuperation has been tough. Slowly, slowly—the wire-wounds on his legs have healed, and although he’s still going daily to the Chair, at least he can stand and sort of walk.

It’s been…maybe two weeks since the last try? Something like that? Way too long. Peter has to come up with another plan. It’s hard—they’ve lost a good half of their medical supplies, any toy that could be used as a weapon, their mattress, too. All that’s left on their bed is their pillow and their tarp-like blanket. At night, they huddle together for warmth beneath the tarp as they sleep, Cassie by the wall, Peter by the door.

Their new plan is simple. Operation Spider-man. Cassie insists on the name. “‘Cause this is the last one,” she whispers, “right?”

“Yeah,” he says. Peter has a feeling that whether or not they make it out of the bunker—that this is gonna be their last try. If the upcoming punishment is anything like what happened last time, he’s not sure it’s even worth it. Cassie’s still having nightmares about seeing Charlie beat him—she wakes up screaming so loud that Peter has to clap his hand over her mouth until she stops.

Cassie’s getting used to this, too. She’s learning, strangely. It’s almost disturbing the way she’s getting used to this place. There’s no clock in the room, but their internal clocks have simplified; their days depend now on the schedule of the twenty-ish addicts running the place—and addicts have no schedule. Their clocks depend now not on time but on other things. Sounds and smells. Words. Voices. The different shuffling someone will make down a hallway. Charlie’s lurid laughter. The crinkling of a McDonald’s bag. The beeping of the keypad on the door. Even the food comes in at a different time each day—and sometimes they forget, giving them two or five meals instead of the regular three. Those days are good days; on those days, Cassie gets to eat a whole burger by herself—she doesn’t mind the mustard anymore.

The only thing that remains the same is their seven o’clock deadline; that is the only thing that has never changed.

Watching her learn these things—it hurts a little. Her life isn’t supposed to be like this. Peter, he… He signed up for this. The day he put on that Spider-man suit, the day he said yes to Tony in Germany—that was the day he signed up for this. He has to live with the fact that his captivity is a consequence of his way of life. It is what it is.

But Cassie… She’s too young. She’s way, way too young to know how to suture a cut or how fast to eat so that her belly feels fuller. She’s changing, adjusting herself to fit this new space—she’s quieter, tamer, duller, like someone’s sanded her down. Peter even has to prompt her now to tell stories about her family. It’s like she’s already forgotten them. She never signed up for this—yet here she is, leaning on this life as though it’ll be like this until the end of time.

After last time, Cassie’s resorted to pressing her hand against her side—the cigarette-burned one—whenever she gets frightened, like she’s protecting it from more harm. He’s seen the scarring. It was bad. Really bad. He’s not sure she can survive another one—it might break her. So this has to be it—this has to be the last try, the good try. It has to work, otherwise…

Here’s the plan; every morning now, Haroun and Mateo come in and feed him supersoldier sedatives through an IV port. That’s when he’s at his strongest—right before he’s injected with more sedatives. The IV bag doesn’t have any needles involved—but when his IV port gets infected, then they have to switch it to a different port and use a needle to set up the new IV.

It’s the closest he’ll get to a sharp object—a weapon.

It’s their only shot.

So he’ll pretend to be asleep—and then wham! snatch the syringe right from them and hold it to someone’s neck—and finally, finally, get the code to the door.

Operation Spider-man. It has to work.

They give every one of their ‘operations’ names. Their first three escape attempts: Operation Falcon, Operation Black Widow, and Operation Captain America. Then there’s the hiding messages in the garbage alongside DNA samples—Operation Ant-Man. And sometimes in his head, Peter conducts some operations of his own. There’s one he calls it Operation Winter Soldier, and its objective is simple: don’t help Charlie's goons when they die.

Enough of Charlie’s crew have died now that when it happens now, Peter’s barely fazed by it.

The first one was a guy named RJ. Young, maybe a couple years older than Peter himself.

He’d heard the guy go quiet, mumbling and everything, and heard him dazedly ask for help, slurring that something wasn’t right—and then… he went unconscious. Peter could hear his breathing slow and slow and slow until he took his last. An overdose, Peter knew, but he didn’t know what.

Peter remembers thinking so clearly: Please die, please die, please die. Because another one of Charlie’s guys dead meant one step closer to freedom.

The next death was a girl. She wasn’t even part of the group, but Peter didn’t know that until later. She was just someone Mason brought in, a friend of his, and Charlie had gotten so outright furious that Mason had spoiled their secret that the next time Mason left the bunker, Charlie found the girl and beat her so badly she never got up again.

Peter heard her gargling for help through a mouthful of blood. She died like that, choking on it.

The third was another overdose, a woman. Her death was so quiet that Peter didn’t even know it was happening until it was nearly over—her heartbeat pulsing slow, and slower, and then nothing.

Peter hates himself for this—wishing people dead. He could have said something, could’ve yelled for Ava or Riri to come help the guy, but… He knew, in the long run, that letting people die was his and Cassie’s best chance at getting out.

He’s not the same person he once was.

Before the bunker, Peter would’ve saved anyone outright, no matter whose side they were on—but now… He’s just trying to survive.

And surviving means letting people die.

As the morning nears, and Operation Spider-Man grows closer, Cassie grows more and more nervous by the second. She’s wringing her little hands now, grinding her teeth, holding a stuffed McDonald’s toy close to her face, taking strange breaths in a failed attempt to calm herself.

“Hey, Stinger,” Peter says, and his kid says nothing in response. He’s got an idea to cheer her up, though; usually, they comb each other’s hair with their fingers, but recently with their injuries, they’ve given up a bit. But today… Today they’re gonna break out. So he’s gotta make the day good for her. He’s gotta make it special, just in case it doesn’t go the way they plan. “How about we do your hair today?”

She looks up at him, her freckled face paled with worry, and still she doesn’t answer.

“How does that sound?” he asks quietly.

She nods slowly. “Pigtails,” she whispers.

“Hm,” he says, tapping his chin, and the little girl watches him. “You know what, I think we did pigtails last time. How about something new?”

She always likes this game—when he argues with her a little bit. “Pigtails,” she says again, and a smile’s creeping onto her face.

“Not gonna challenge me? Come on, Cass, I’m bored—gimme a challenge.”

“Braids!”

“Alrighty then, if you insist,” he says, and he stands onto his aching legs, limping over to the sink. “Come on then, your Highness, up you go.”

They usually do each other’s hair, at least a couple times a week—it’s one way to keep busy. Although they can’t wash or condition their hair, they’ll take turns washing their hair in the rusty sink. Cassie’s not nearly tall enough to stick her head in, so she has to stand on her tiptoes, straining to stick her head under, and Peter will run the water over it, dragging his hand through her oily strands of hair to try to clean it—grime and blood like to cling to the scalp.

His braiding skills aren’t perfect, but they’re functional, and he gets the girl’s hair in two braids on either side of her head, mostly finger-combed through. Some of her hair is falling out, strands thinned by malnutrition, but Peter pretends he doesn’t see it. Cassie doesn’t know it’s a problem—and Peter’s not about to tell her.

They don’t have hair ties, so they use strips of their old clothes to tie at the end of the braid instead. The cloth is so worn that Peter can’t tell if it once belonged to Cassie or to him, although he supposes it doesn’t really matter.

When Cassie’s hair is done, they play a little game called ‘Mirror, Mirror’ where Cassie stands in front of Peter and asks what she looks like and he tells her how pretty she looks. They don’t have a mirror—or any other reflective surface, for that matter. The only person who can tell what they look like is each other.

(There’s no mirror at the bathroom sink. Peter doesn’t know why. They used to pretend there was one there. When Peter was stronger, he’d hoist her up a bit so she could ‘see’ herself in it, but he can’t anymore, not with how weak he is now.)

Truly, Peter’s hair has ever been this long before. May always used to cut it herself, and now he’s got bristly bangs, a mullet-like cut, his hair all scraggly and wild, barely combed. It’s a lot longer than it was before. May used to say it was a spider-power—because it only ever grew this fast once he was bitten. Growing hair isn’t a power, he said to her, annoyed, and his aunt had flicked his ear in response.

Cassie watches him mess with his hair now, tugging at it, yanking at its oily ends. She’s just a kid, but she’s very, very perceptive. “You don’t like it,” she says, “right? Your hair?”

“Yeah,” he answers simply. The length of it makes him feel ugly for some reason—like he’s a wild animal with an overgrown coat.

Cassie watches him for a second, shuffling closer to him. “I like it,” she says, and she touches the ends of it with her good hand.

“You do?”

“Yeah,” she says gently. “You’re like Oni Wan.”

“Obi Wan,” he corrects gently. “Obi Wan Kenobi.”

His little girl echoes him, and then she beams when Peter says she got it right.

“Which movie?” he asks. “He’s got some weird haircuts—you mean when he’s old?”

Peter does the motion of a long beard, drawing his hand down from his chin, and little Cassie laughs a little bit, still focused on the stringy, tangled parts of his hair, picking through it with her fingers. “No,” she says with a giggle, “when he’s cool.

“Old people can be cool,” he protests.

She’s coming back to herself now, making a face at him, sticking her tongue out a little. “ Oldie Wan,” she says, sing-songy, with that mischievous smile, “you’re old, Peter You’re Oldie… Oldie Wan…”

He pokes gently at her good arm and she laughs. Good. Laughing.

“Come on, Padawan,” he says, “which movie? I know you’ve seen them…”

“The old one!”

“So specific,” he jokes. “Do you remember what happened?”

Sometimes he tells her the plots of movies instead of bedtime stories— A New Hope is one of her favorites. She's seen them all already; she just likes hearing about them again.

She squints her eyes, and her face falls a little. “I don’t remember,” Cassie whispers, and she looks worriedly to him. “I don’t… I don’t remember…”

“Hey,” he says softly, touching her arm. “That’s okay, Cass—you’re okay, sometimes we forget things…”

She nods tearily, pressing her face into his shoulder, hiding from the conversation, crying softly into his sleeve. It takes a bit to coax her out of her upset, and Peter only manages to calm her by offering his hair for her to do. “Really?” she asks, wiping at her eyes.

“Yeah,” he says, “it’s long enough, right?” He pulls at it with his fingers.

“Yes!” she says, her voice still croaky from her crying. She walks over to the treasure chest, that stupid dented bucket bolted to the floor; Cassie’s talking to herself in the way that kids do, narrating every move, and she digs through the bucket. (There’s not much in there. Most of it was raided last time they tried to escape.) “You’re gonna look so pretty!”

She tells him how they’re going to play, pointing for him to sit on the floor as she walks around him. “I’ll be the princess and you be my brother,” she says. It’s painful for him to sit in this position for too long, but he does it for Cassie, folding one leg and leaving his broken one stretched out.

He hums the tune to some Beatles song as she does, talking to herself about castles and royal tea. “Ah,” he says, “so I’m a prince?”

She ponders it for a second. “Yes,” she assures him. “Prince Peter.”

“Princess Cassie,” he says, and he waves his hand in lieu of a bow.

She offers to cut his hair, to which Peter of course agrees, and then she makes some scissors with her little fingers, saying, “Snip, snip, snip,” as she walks around him, going all the way around his head with her fingers.

“Your highness, how short are we going?”

“Bald!” she says in a hushed giggle.

Peter smiles at her. “Well, I’ve always wanted to try it, I guess today’s the day…”

So she ‘cuts his hair bald’ and then gives him a ‘hair-growy potion’ and then starts to braid. It’s a difficult process—Cassie’s only got one hand, so Peter helps her through it, bringing his hands back behind his head so that she can finish the braid properly—and then, of course, she wants to do another one. They do three or four like this until Cassie’s wrist hurts too much to continue and then she flops happily on the ground beside him, and they both lay there, staring up at the ceiling. “You look pretty,” she says, laying on the dirty floor beside him. “I like your hair like this.”

Peter smiles tiredly. “Thanks, Stinger.”

“When we go home,” she says, starting up that little game again, “I think you should keep your hair long.”

“Oh, yeah?”

“Yeah,” she says. “You’re like a prince. Like Luke Skywalker.”

“Luke Skywalker isn’t a prince,” he says.

“Yeah, he is,” she counters. “Princess Leia is a princess and Luke is her brother so he’s a prince.”

Well. That’s certainly the first time he’s been corrected on Star Wars trivia, but he guesses there’s a first for everything. “I guess he is, then.”

Where she is, Cassie coughs a little, turning over onto her side, coughing and coughing until her breaths go all ragged and Peter says, “I’ve got you, I’ve got you,” and rubs her back until the coughing subsides.

“When I get home,” he says, once Cassie’s drank some water and returned to the floor to lay beside him, “we’re gonna have a movie marathon at my house.” He’ll invite Ned and MJ and Tony and Pepper, too, if they’ll come. Flash, even. God, what he wouldn’t do to see Flash’s stupid face. Happy.

“What’s that?” she asks.

“A movie marathon? It’s, uh…” He waves his hand at the wall as though there’s a projector there. “...when you wanna watch a bunch of movies with people.”

“Like Harry Potter?”

“Yeah, like Harry Potter. But we,” he says, with a pained hand wave, “we’re gonna watch Star Wars.”

“Which ones?”

“See,” he says, “that’s the thing about movie marathons. You watch them all in one day.

Her brown eyes fill with awe. “All of them?”

“Yep, all of them. You stay on the couch all day, eat snacks, have lightsaber fights…”

She mimes the lightsaber sound, waving her hand around, and then winces as she pulls too hard at her bad arm. “I wanna come,” she whispers, “can I? Please?”

He smiles at her, and he feels this sad twist in his chest. “‘Course you can, Stinger. Wouldn’t be a party without you.”

She smiles back at him, and then she hugs his arm a little. “Good.” And after a while she adds, “When I get home, I want you to be my brother. Permanent sleepover.”

“Permanent sleepover,” he echoes, smiling a little at the ceiling. “Sounds good to me.”

TUESDAY, MAY 8 — 9:35 AM

It’s time.

The next time Mateo and Haroun come in to feed him through the IV, Peter pretends to be asleep. Cassie hides under the bed beneath him—she knows the plan. “Alright, Parker,” says Mateo, “up and at ‘em.”

He can hear them already—the snap of rubber gloves over Mateo’s fingers, the shuffle of Haroun’s shoes. “Wakey, wakey,” says the smaller one, Haroun. “Parker. Hey.”

“Careful,” says Mateo. “You know how they can be.”

Haroun huffs out a laugh. “Whatever. Like he’s gonna do anything like this—you were there last time.” He’s talking about their last escape attempt—Operation Captain America. “Charlie beat him so bad I nearly pissed myself.”

Peter doesn’t like thinking about that day—so he shoves it to the back of his head and focuses hard on his spidey-sense. His mind trembles in anticipation, his face hot with it. Come on, he thinks, closer, man, closer, almost there…

Haroun’s close enough to touch now, and Peter can sense the guard at his right side, prodding at the IV port that’s already there at his forearm.

Mateo hmphs and Peter hears that gun’s safety click on.

Bingo.

Peter moves fast, wrenching the IV’s needle from its spot and twisting around to get at the guy—Haroun, the smaller one. pricking the needle against his jugular, and he can feel the artery pulse beneath his skin.

He doesn’t know if the needle could actually kill the guy.

But maybe they don’t know that, either.

“One word,” he hisses at them both, Mateo who’s standing there dumbfounded, and Haroun who’s locked tight in Peter’s grip, “and I’ll kill you—like the other guy, I’ll kill you, stab you right through the f*cking neck.”

“His name was Frank—” says Haroun, trying to pull away, and Peter presses hard enough with the needle that he whimpers and goes quiet.

On the other side of the room, Mateo’s still wearing his rubber gloves, and he’s raising both hands in the air, staring wide-eyed at them both. Haroun and Mateo are friends—that’s why they’re better targets than the last guy. They’re friends, so they won’t risk each other’s safety.

“Now,” says Peter, and he feels dangerous—violent—like he’s bubbling up with that sh*t Charlie takes, and he can feel it in his eyes, “do you know the code?”

Haroun’s making strange sounds, his arms taut at his sides.

“Answer me,” he hisses. “Nod or shake your f*cking head, man—”

He nods, trying not to press his throat further into the needle’s sharp point.

Haroun seems to have more self-preservation than that last guy because he’s still keeping quiet. Quiet is better. Quiet is good.

“Tell it to me,” he says, and Haroun just looks blankly at him, “ I said tell it—”

Mateo’s still standing by the wall with his hands up, and hie’s looking at Peter like he’s a feral creature, standing still. “Parker,” he says, and he hates that he trembles now whenever he hears his own last name, “listen to me. Whatever your plan is, it’s not going to work.”

“I didn’t ask you,” he growls, and when he presses the needle in deeper, Haroun lets out this small gasp. “The code , man, the f*cking code, I’ll drag you out there myself—”

“No, you won’t,” says Mateo calmly from the other side, his eyes unblinking as he watches Peter. “You know what happens when you go into that hallway. The second you step out there—”

“Shut up,” he says, his voice high, but he’s already remembering the last time, and now he’s struggling to not think about it, to not remember the way his skin tore with the impact of that f*cking wire.

“They’re gonna catch you, Parker,” says the guy, moving slightly, his hair hanging long from his head. “They always catch you—”

Shut up!” he cries, and his voice is this insane, weird shriek, and he’s way too loud and he’s already forgetting parts of the plan, “shut up! Shut up!”

And this time the needle pricks blood, and Haroun makes another sound, and Peter hisses, “The code! Give me the code!”

Again, Mateo and Haroun just look at each other, but Haroun’s still on the bad side of Peter’s makeshift weapon, so he says, “One, two, oh—”

“Shut up, Haroun,” says Mateo harshly, his eyes darting to the cell door.

One, two, zero. That’s three out of eight numbers for the code. Just five more to go. “The rest,” he says tightly, “ what’s the rest—”

“Parker,” says Mateo, his hands still raised. "You gotta put it down." He's holding his brown hand out to Peter, and he flinches. “I won’t hold it against you—we can just forget about it, get your IV in, get you some extra painkillers, right, Haroun?”

“Right,” gargles Haroun, his voice small.

"That's what you want, right? We'll make it good, okay? You won't feel a thing—"

He wishes it were Mateo’s neck he were sinking a needle into. “Cassie,” he says then, and the girl climbs out from under the bed, her prisoner’s jumpsuit buttoned all the way up, standing at three-ish feet tall with as much threat as she can muster.

She’s brave. God, she’s so brave.

“Get his gun, Stinger,” he says. “Just like we practiced. Go get his gun”

She’s a bit more hesitant than she was last time, but he just nods at her and she creeps towards the guy, breathing a little too fast, and snatches up the gun from Mateo’s waistband before running away. She holds it like a toy—and the man says, “f*ck, Parker, this is not gonna end well for you—”

And he hisses, “Shut up! Shut up!” and he doesn’t realize he moved his hand but all of a sudden Haroun’s neck is bleeding and he’s making weird sounds. Peter says to Cassie without looking, “You see that little thing on the back? The little safety lever?” The needle wiggles against Haroun’s skin, slipping over a smear of blood.

By the door, Mateo’s going, “Parker—Parker, let’s think about this—”

Peter ignores him. “Click it, Cass, just like we practiced, and point it at him.”

She does as she’s told, and the safety clicks off. Her hands are shaking. “Good,” he says, “that’s so good, Cass—now you’re gonna give it to me…”

And they go fast, because they’re moving just like they’ve practiced, and Cassie tosses it—Haroun tries for the gun but Peter’s got sticky hands and he and Cassie have practiced, like, a thousand times, and Peter snatches it right out of the air and presses the barrel to Haroun’s throat.

“Parker,” he’s saying, talking faster, stumbling over his words, “when this goes south, and it’s gonna go south —”

“It’s not gonna," he snaps, " it’s not gonna—

“—then he’s gonna put you in the chair, you know he will—”

“I’m not going back in the chair!” he snarls. “I’m not—I’m not—I can’t—” And then he’s thinking about it, what’ll happen if this goes bad, and his hands shake against the trigger. “Oh, God—” Was he too loud? Did someone hear? Is someone coming? “Oh, God—I can’t—I can’t…” The thought alone is enough to force the tears to the surface of his face, and he can still feel the healing scars on the backs of his legs, and for some stupid reason he's crying now. "I don't want to—"

“I know,” says Mateo, his voice getting a little softer.

“I won’t,” he chokes out, and they’re all just standing around watching him cry like a f*cking baby, sobbing into empty space, both his hands on the gun, “I can’t—not again—”

“Then put it down, kid. We can—we can forget this ever happened—Charlie doesn’t have to know. I promise.”

“No,” he chokes out, “the code now, or I’ll kill you both. I’ll—I’ll kill you both—”

“Let’s say you get to the hallway,” says Mateo, like Peter didn’t just threaten his life, like Peter doesn’t currently have a gun to his friend’s head. “Right? We give you the code, let’s say you get all the way up to the second door, you make it out into the forest—”

Forest, Peter thinks very clearly. They’re in a forest.

He didn’t know where they were before.

Mateo’s still talking, continuing, “You make it out there, and then what? With that leg of yours, you’ll be lucky to make it ten feet before you’re on the ground—and the girl’s not carrying you, so what’s the plan?”

“You’ll take us,” says Peter, grasping at straws, “you’ll help me, you’ll lead me out—”

“Only two of us have cars, Parker,” he says, and he shudders at the sound of his own name, “and that’s the only way you get off this mountain.”

“Who?” he says, and he’s imagining it now—they’re gonna get in a car and drive away, far away from here— “Tell me who—”

“Nick,” says the guy, “but—but he’s gone, he’s out with Riri—he’s—he’s picking out supplies for Stark—”

Who else?”

“Charlie,” says Haroun from beside Peter, the barrel still pressed to his sweaty neck. “Charlie has the other—ah—”

The guy whimpers as Peter presses the barrel in deeper, his finger tensing over the trigger. “Get his keys,” he says, and he feels hysterical.

“I’m not gonna do that, says Mateo, and Peter wants to shoot him in the head. “Charlie keeps track of them—we never, ever leave without permission, Parker—”

“Shut up!” he shouts, and he’s too loud, and there’s tears coming down his face, “you’re gonna do it! You’re gonna give me the f*cking code, or I’ll shoot him! I’ll do it!”

“You won’t,” he says.

“SHUT UP! SHUT UP!”

“This only ends one way, Parker—with your ass in the chair—so give me the gun, kid, just give me the gun and we can forget about it.”

“Yeah,” says Haroun, and Peter crying and he can’t help it, he’s crying and he can’t stop, and his whole body is quivering because he knows what’s gonna happen— “ Give him the—”

Peter lets out this small, guttural scream, shoving the barrel into Haroun’s chin, and the guy flails. "Shut up! SHUT UP! EVERYONE SHUT UP!"

And they do.

He's a stupid f*cking freak, so of course he's crying, crying so hard it's becoming difficult to breathe, difficult to hold the gun still against the guard's neck. He's stupid—he's so stupid—he's sof*cking stupid, how could he think this plan would work—

This only ends one way. This only ends one way.

“I won’t tell anybody,” he begs, trying anything, anything, and he feels hysterical, like he's banging at a television screen, like he's rattling chains, “please, I’ll—I'll—I'll tell them whatever you want, I just wanna go home, I, I—I just…” He shakes his head again, his eyes so full of tears that he’s having a hard time finding his targets. “I’m in high school, man. I—I wanna take the SATs, I wanna—I wanna go to class, I wanna apply for college, I—I—I—” He sobs again, and his whole face is hot, vibrating with something f*cking insane— “I’m gonna be a senior,” he chokes out. “I’m—I’m—I’m gonna be a senior.”

"Parker," one says softly, and he bangs the side of the gun against his head a couple times, pain rearing ugly in his skull, and re-points it back at the two guards. "Parker."

He’s crying again, breath hitching in his lungs, and his whole chest aches with each sob. “Let me—let me—let me call the cops, or—or—anything, anything, and I’ll say whatever you want—whatever—I’ll tell them he made you do it—”

“Kid, think about it,” says Mate, pushing forward, “if the police show up, Charlie’s not gonna wanna go down for this. You know what’s gonna happen?”

Yeah, he thinks, and he can see it in his mind, playing out like a f*cking horror film, but he just cries instead, the tears coming down his neck now, going cold down his chest.

“He’s gonna come in here with a gun,” says Mateo, “just like that one, and he’ll shoot you both in the head.” The guy mimes it, too, all slow, pulling a finger trigger at his head. “Hide your bodies somewhere, dig a hole out in the forest and throw you in. And that’ll be it.”

Forest.

For some stupid reason, Peter thought until this moment that they were in some actual civilization. He though that once he made it outside the bunker, he’d step onto the streets of some city. That as soo nas he amde it through those doors, he’d be free—he’d run screaming into the street with Cassie in his arms, and some nice lady would pick them up in her car and ask them if they were okay. An old lady. A hippie, like May. And she’d look at them and ask if they needed a hospital—but neither Peter nor Cassie liked being poked and prodded, so they’d say no, and Cassie would ask in her sweet quiet voice, Can we have something to eat?

And the lady would drive them to her house and let them use her phone to call their families—she’d be a nurse, too, just like May, and she’d fix them up as best she could and give them enough pain medication that they could walk more than a few feet without buckling under their own weight.

They’d sit at her kitchen table and eat whatever the hell they wanted—a bowl of beef stew and a row of butter-soaked bread, a potful of parmesan-crusted mac and cheese… And every time they asked for more, she’d smile and give it to them.

And just when Peter and Cassie’s bellies were full, and their injuries had been tended to, they’d heara whirring outside the house: the Quinjet. And out they would pour—May and Tony and Pepper, Happy Hogan, and his friends, too.

He thinks about this a lot. He knows it’s a fantasy—a stupid f*cking fantasy—but right now, it’s the only thing that keeps him going.

“Parker,” Mateo says quietly, and Peter jerks his head to look at the guy. His hands tremble on the gun, tremble on the trigger. His face is wet, and he grips the gun harder. “Come on, kid. You gotta put it down—you know you gotta put it down.”

He takes a strange, shuddery breath. “What happens when it’s over?” he whispers, and both men look pained. “What happens… When Mr. Stark… When he…. When he's done?”

“You know what happens,” says Mateo quietly.

He sobs, his vision blurry and wet, and then he blurts, “And what if… What if I die?”

Haroun’s looking at him strangely.

“If…” he chokes out, and he waves the gun a little for emphasis, and he thinks about it—he thinks about it—and for a second it feels like a solution. “If… If I died… Would you let her go?”

Haroun’s face goes a little slack. “Parker,” he says, his neck still bleeding, “whatever you’re thinking, it’s not worth it—”

Would you?”

“No,” says Mateo coolly. “We were gonna take Pepper Potts before we found out about you, you know. So we’d probably just do that—start over. And if we ran out of people to take, we’d… We’d scrap it. Kill Tony Stark, Lang, and the girl, take our share of what’s left, and f*ck off somewhere across the border.”

So that means… That means Peter has to stay alive. He has to stay alive or—or everyone he loves will suffer.

“Oh, God,” he whispers, and his mouth is run with teary mucus. “Oh, God, oh, God.” He’s doomed to a lifetime of this—a lifetime— “I can’t—I can’t—I—I—”

And Haroun moves, and he screams at the sudden motion, training his gun on the guy, his arm trembling badly with the weight—he can’t even carry a f*cking a gun. He’s useless, he’s so f*cking useless. “Parker—”

He’s sobbing but with one hand on the guy and one hand on the gun, he doesn’t have an arm to wipe his face, so he’s just sobbing into nothing, crying like a baby into empty space, liquid coming down his face like blood. “Help me,” he begs, because he feels like he’s in the Chair already, “help me, god, please just help me—” And they’re looking at him—maybe because that’s not what they expected him to say but it’s all he can say because they won’t give him the f*cking code— “ What do you want?” he chokes out. “I’ll—I’ll give you anything, I’ll—I’ll do anything, please—god—”

Both men wince. “I’m sorry,” says Haroun, and it sounds genuine.

“What do you want?” he chokes out through his tears, and mucus bubbles up from his nostrils, and he sniffs loudly. “They’re—drugs? Right? They’re—they’re paying you?”

The two exchange looks; both men are backed up against the wall now, as far from Peter’s gun as possible, and he takes a step closer to make up for it. “I can get you drugs,” he blubbers, “I—Mr. Stark—he has connections, he—he has money, whatever you want, just please, please— ” He sobs into the gun, and his tears are falling onto the concrete floor, dripping down, concrete darkening in splashes. “ Please… I—I—I can’t—”

When he looks up, Mateo’s watching him again. “The gun,” he says quietly, still, unmoving. “Put down the gun, kid.”

He’s never putting this gun down—as long as he has it they can’t hurt him—he’s safe, no chair—HE’S SAFE, THEY CAN’T TAKE HIM—

“Let us go,” he sobs, “just—just let us— god, please— I just wanna go home—”

Mateo’s gaze flicks to Haroun and back to Peter. “The gun,” he says again, and Peter shakes his head, wild.

“Please…” He’s still f*cking crying; he’s still f*cking crying. “I can’t—I can’t do this anymore, I—I’m not—I—I can't do this anymore! And that time he pulls the trigger, and it recoils hard, knocking him in the face—the bullet hits somewhere on the far wall, both guys ducking to avoid the shot.

“Parker, whoa! Hey, just calm down, we can talk about this—”

I don’t want to talk about it!” he screams, tears streaming down his face, and he can hear people down the hallway, footsteps, drawn by the noise. “ I wanna go home!”

He fires at the door then, but he can’t see through his tears, and the gun kicks back in his grip, and that time the mere force of it knocks him backwards and the hard fall is enough to take him out—he flails for the gun, trying to find it, but by the time he looks up Mateo’s got it in his hands and is looking at him, strangely, with pity.

“Cassie,” he chokes out, struggling to his feet, “Ant-Man—Ant-Man—” A code word: run.

And he doesn’t even know why he’s deciding to go now—he just doesn’t want to go to the Chair again—HE CAN’T GO BACK THERE—and pulls Cassie along, and then she’s faster than him and lugging him down the hallway, and someone’s shouting, “Goddamn it—someone grab them!”

And he’s going for the door—they’re going for the door—he’s got three out of eight numbers, he could—he could do it—maybe—THEY’RE GONNA MAKE IT—THEY’RE GONNA—

And Cassie’s running the opposite way, going after her dad’s voice, and Peter screams, “ Cassie, no!” and when he turns back to that locked door at the end of the hallway it looks beautiful, like the f*cking gates of heaven, and he thinks— I could go, I could go without her, I could leave— but he doesn’t have the numbers, only three out of eight—but what if it works—

The punishment is bad.

He doesn’t remember it.

They don’t hurt Cassie—but they hurt Peter, and when he comes back he’s bleeding so profusely that when he wakes his whole jumpsuit’s stiff with it. Cassie helps him patch up—but Charlie got his head with the hammer so hard that he can’t remember the past few days. More, maybe. It’s all fuzzy now, bloody, his memories mushed together.

He remembers one thing, one thought, though, from the escape.

It’s one that he keeps thinking and thinking, repeating in his mind like a mantra, folding it over and over like a piece of paper: I’m gonna die here.

Peter gets it now. He really, really gets it.

If Tony finishes the weapon—Peter dies.

If Tony fails to make the weapon—then eventually, Peter will succumb to his injuries—and die.

If Tony dies for whatever reason, then it’s over—and Peter dies.

And if someone sends for help—Peter dies, too, because Charlie doesn’t want to get caught.

The only way that Peter's getting out of here is in a body bag. He's never gonna see home again, see Tony again…

And if Peter finally cracks and does it himself, they’ll take it out on everyone else—Cassie, Tony, Scott Lang, even Pepper…

He’s trapped.

The lights in the bunker room can be confusing. They flicker and flicker above them, locked in a cage, and they rarely turn off. Peter and Cassie had to get used to sleeping in light—and they never know what time of day it is without any windows or clocks, so they rely on Peter’s hearing, usually. Sometimes one of the guards will mention the time. The only way Peter knows the general time is if they’re all sleeping. Sometimes the lights will go out during the day for a couple hours—sometimes they won’t go off at night.

And when the stars align and the lights flick off in the nighttime, they’ll hide in the dark like it’ll shield them from the coming day, hiding under their tarp-like blanket, whispering to each other and telling each other secrets. Cassie calls them dark nights.

So on one of these dark nights, Cassie pokes at his side, drawing his attention. "Peter," she whispers, and both of them are in enough pain that it keeps them awake. "Peter."

"Yeah? "

"Can I ask you something?"

"‘Course," he answers tiredly, without opening his eyes.

"Something weird?"

That catches his attention. He opens his eyes then, squinting into the dark and trying to find the girl’s face. She’s only inches from him, but the darkness is shrouding her from him. "Yeah," he says gingerly. "Always, Stinger."

Some quiet then as Cassie thinks. "When you were little," she says then, very quietly, "how long were you gone?"

He peers at her then. "What?"

"How long was it? "she repeats. "When you were gone. When you were…here."

Cassie always asks him strange questions—but this one takes the cake. "Cass," he says, "what are you talking about?"

Now the girl’s getting frustrated. "When you were gone," she demands, in that way only little kids can, insisting upon the answers to impossible questions, "how long was it? Did you… Did you get to see your mommy and daddy again?"

It takes a moment for her words to take root, for the understanding to click in his weary mind, and then Peter forces himself into a half-sitting position so that he can look her right in the eyes. "Cassie," he says, and the girl’s staring oddly at the ceiling. " Cass. Cassie, look at me."

Her eyes flick to his—her brow is all scrunched up, her face worried. Her bad hand’s tucked close to her chest, as broken as ever, and her good hand is curled up right next to it. There’s a bruise at the edge of her hairline, mottled yellow and brown.

"Do you think this happens to every kid?" he asks carefully.

And slowly, assuredly, the little girl nods.

Oh. Oh, God. "No," he says, "no, Cass, this isn’t… This isn’t normal, you hear me? This doesn’t usually happen to people."

She’s quiet for a moment, musing over what he’s said, and then she does this minute squint with her eyes: a tiny, tiny wince. "I don’t get it," she replies, dejected.

He forgot that this was something kids did—taking something that happened to them and assuming it also happened to everyone else. "This isn’t…" He did it when he was little, too; after his parents died, he thought it happened to everybody—having their lives flipped upside down like that. "Nobody took me when I was a kid. When I was little, I… I just lived with my family, in my house. I… I went to the zoo, I went to school, I played with my friends… And I went home every day, went to sleep in my bed. Just like you did, Stinger."

"Even when you were seven?" she whispers back. "Like me?"

"Even when I was seven," he assures her, fast. "And when I was eight and nine and ten, all the way to now. No one ever took me. This… It shouldn’t happen to kids. Or to anyone. It’s… It’s not normal, Stinger. Kids are supposed to be kids—to play, go to school, eat dinner…" He looks impossibly to the ceiling, like there’s some f*cked up god up there he can plead to for help. "It’s supposed to be… Like it was before. Before you were here. You’re supposed to be… You’re not supposed to get hurt."

"But the grown-ups…" she tries, and then she shakes her head, and they fall into another lapse of silence. In the quiet, Peter’s eyes adjust to the dark, the lines of the room coming to him in blues and grays. Cassie’s face, too, comes to her like a warped, rippled reflection in a pool. Her expression wavers—or maybe it’s just the dark. "They don’t," she tries, in that ashamed whisper of a voice, "get punished?"

" No," he whispers, quick, as though the faster he says it the easier she’ll believe it. The way she’s asking this question is making something twist hard into him, corkscrewing into the tender meat of his stomach. "God, no, Cass, kids aren’t supposed to get hurt for things."

She’s looking at him, staring, scanning his face as though searching for the lie, searching for the catch. "Even if they’re bad?"

Peter swallows. God, this kid. In her words, that unspoken question: even if I’m bad? "Even if they’re bad," he says, because he doesn’t know if he can explain the concept of ‘good’ and ‘bad’ right now. "It’s never, ever supposed to happen."

She’s breathing funny now, taking breaths between her words. "Even if they’re really, really bad?"

"Even then."

The dark is like a fog between them, spreading thick between their faces. "I did bad things," she whispers to him, like they’re in a confession booth with a latticed wall between them. "When I was littler, I… I did some bad things. Is that why…"

Cassie, he whispers, because he needs her to understand, " Cassie, listen to me. There is nothing—nothing, nothing ever—that could make you deserve being hurt. Nothing. It’s not okay, no matter what you’ve done. Even if you were the worst kid in the entire world—you still wouldn’t deserve someone hurting you. It’s never okay. Never."

She pauses, and Peter hates that she doesn’t know this, hates that someone has ingrained this in her, hates that people made her think she deserved this. "Never?" she whispers, her eyebrows sloping, and in her voice is this shameful grief.

"Never ever," he promises.

They’re both breathing in the silence then, breathing in the nighttime, and he can hear her little breaths get slow and slower as sleep threatens to take them. And just as exhaustion has begun to pull at his eyes, just as he’s starting to give in, he hears his little girl shift.

She takes a very small breath, tight in her chest, and then she whispers to him, whispers into the dark, whispers up to the far-off ceiling, "Then why did it happen to me?"

Notes:

yes u will still get a chapter this week because i'm legitimately insane haha, see u tuesday

(what’s really f*cked up about peter wanting charlie’s guys dead is that it actually made things worse for him in the long run - because once they lost enough people, ross brought beck into the fold. so by letting them die, he lowkey caused them to get beck, and inadvertently made things a lot worse for himself.)

ok so i went a little picrew crazy, don't judge me, (u guys remember that tiktok thing, the character art thing) and making a bunch of thingys for peter and tony and everyone to like see what their diff stages of like trauma development look like. so fun. here's one of them i made for peter, just for funsies cuz im about to go into finals:
pre-bunker, early bunker, late bunker, hospital, recovering at tower

just thought it would be fun to see how ppl picture these characters cuz that's def how is see them, esp peter, so if u guys make one i def wanna see how u guys picture them, i made some for tony and cassie too but i'm not trying to clog up the notes with links lol

anywayyy off i go, have a good day, it's my last week of classes before finalssss woot

Chapter 39: crutch

Notes:

don't kill me, you know how i like to make things unbearably slow, they don't reunite in this chapter - this was way more functional than i intended, + ppl kept giving me WONDERFUL ideas for scenes, so thanks for that ahaha, quick thanks to lilol for the idea of a clint scene, and to dumbassdeancas for the pacemaker idea teehee and answering all my weird questions

chap title from 'change' by alex g

cw: professional (police) references to sexual assault, violence, torture, drug use

lotta legal stuff in here lol don't hate me

+ when they're talking about victims, victim A is peter and victim B is cassie, and if they're mentioning a suspect who's speaking a lot, it's riri - cuz riri spilled the beans haha

also remember that jim was not present for the meeting where dr cho went berserk, he doesn't know the extent of what peter has gone through and he doesn't rly care to know, he's blinding himself to it cuz he needs someone to hate

have fun

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 9 — 11:50 AM

Tony presses his hand against the television.

They’re dragging Peter into the room again, and Tony’s grasping the phone in his other hand. On screen, they cuff him into it, and the kid’s thrashing like a madman. It’s not the way he used to—to escape—but he’s thrashing because he’s afraid. It’s useless thrashing, weak and wild.

Dread rolls over him in a wave, heavy, and his left arm flickers with some numbness—his chest hurts. “Peter,” he chokes out as soon as that bearded psycho calls. “Peter—”

The red-haired woman moves through the room. She’s wearing a skirt, a long one, and the woman goes to the tray of tools and picks up a knife. The knife’s so well-used that it’s black with dried blood. As Charlie talks, she presses the tip of it to Peter’s forehead and holds it firm against the skin there.

Peter’s yelling,, “It’s okay! It’s okay, Mr. Stark! I’m—I’m—I’m okay!”

And Charlie just laughs. “OKAY? PARKER, I’M GONNA FLAY YOU ALIVE—”

The woman digs her knife in, and Peter whimpers a little, blood trickling red down his face. “I’m okay,” he says again, and his voice is shaky. “I’m okay, I’m okay—”

“Oh, please,” says the woman dryly, “give him a sec, Stark, he’ll be screaming soon…” And she presses down, slicing across Peter’s forehead, and the kid kicks against his restraints, jerking uselessly.

The kid grits his teeth, making hisses sounds slow through his teeth, breathing through the pain.

“Playing the brave card, are you, Parker?”

She presses harder, and Peter’s hissing turns to pained groans, and whispers something unhinged about his pretty face, and slashes the knife straight down, and Peter’s voice goes shrill—

“Tony.”

Tony looks up, and Dr. Cho’s frowning at him. “Did you hear what I said?” she asks.

He nods, although he has no idea what she’s talking about. He’s still thinking about that scar on Peter’s face—the straight line that Renee slashed through him, from his hairline all the way down.

The doctor’s still talking to him; they’re in Peter’s room, and the kid’s asleep, holding the bear loosely with one arm, curled up beneath his space-themed blankets. “...so when you left that arc reactor in your chest, it caused damage to the physical structure of your heart—we’ve been over this, right?”

“Yeah,” he whispers.

“It gave your heart enough damage that anything else,” she says, “anything you caused to it would’ve given you some major heart problems.”

“I’m fine,” he insists, hand to his chest. “I already told you, they didn’t hurt me.”

“The drugs, Tony,” Dr. Cho says. “That’s what I’m saying—those stimulants you were taking? They did hurt you.”

He shakes his head. “My heart’s fine,” he says, and he taps it with his finger. Contrary to popular belief, the arc reactor never left Tony’s chest. Back in Afghanistan, that doctor Ho Yinsen had carved up his sternum like a Thanksgiving turkey and placed the car battery in him to keep that shrapnel from entering his heart—leaving a lifelong gap where his bone should be. When doctors finally removed that shrapnel, they left the housing unit for the reactor still inside—too much cartilage and scar tissue had grown around it to remove it properly. The doctors filled it with some kind of medical-grade silicone, capped it like a f*cking tupperware, and grafted his skin over it, leaving the housing unit intact.

Pepper used to touch his chest, the hard circle there, covered in scarred-over skin, and say, Ah. So you do have a heart after all.

“Your heart’s the opposite of fine,” she says, and she passes him her tablet, tapping the screen to open up a couple scans. His scans. “And the fainting, too, we should probably talk about that. Pepper said at least a couple times a day since we got you off your stimulants—”

“Before, too,” he says quietly.

Cho blinks at him. “What?”

He taps his chest with his finger. “I kept, uh, passing out. Every couple days at least.”

She’s staring at him like he’s grown a second head. “I thought that was—the sleep deprivation, Tony, you said you were passing out from sleep. You weren’t…

Tony shakes his head. “The drug I made… I didn’t need to sleep—tricked my brain, but it, uh. Couldn’t trick my body. There was the twitching, you know, but. My heart. I’d feel, like, a flutter in my chest, and I could hear my heartbeat in my head, like a f*cking drum, and then I’d just…” He shrugs, motioning with his twitching hand at his chest. “...feel weird, dizzy, and then just…go out. Wake up on the floor. And then I’d just…” He nods, just to himself. “...get back up again.”

Helen Cho blinks at him. “Tony,” she says, and he shrugs at the floor. “Tony, Jesus—that’s… You didn’t mention that before.”

He stares emptily at the tablet in front of him—a large black-and-white scan of his heart. “Yeah, well. Think we’ve got bigger fish to fry than a couple fainting spells.”

She presses her fingers to the bridge of her nose, squeezing there as though relieving a pressure. “Tony—Tony, I’m your doctor. You have to tell me these things.”

He shrugs. “It’s fine. No one came after me with a knife, Helen. No one tied me to a chair.”

“No,” she says, “but with these pills you might as well have been holding one to your own throat, Tony. Just because Charlie wasn’t torturing you doesn’t mean you weren’t injured by this—your heart’s got permanent damage, Tony. Permanent.”

“My heart was f*cked the moment that missile went off in Afghanistan,” he says, and when the words come out his voice sounds much more exhausted than he intended. “I don’t think a couple pills will make it much worse than it already is.”

“Tony,” she snaps. “It is worse now, you understand me? Your heart. Is. Worse. Your fainting spells? Those are arrhythmias, Tony—those—those can kill you.”

Oh.

This should be scaring him. It should be scaring him.

But he doesn’t feel that terror in his chest—dying alone in the lab was never one of his fears. His fear was that Peter would die—alone, afraid, crying out for him. “It’s fine,” he insists again. “Let’s just, let’s just talk about Peter.” He doesn’t understand why they care so much about what happens to him—when it comes to Peter’s story, he’s the bad guy. He’s the one who let Peter suffer; he’s the one who didn’t save him.

“Later,” she says. “I still need to run a few more tests—but at the bare minimum, you need some new medications—antiarrhythmic meds—and a pacemaker, too.”

He scoffs. “Helen, I’m fine.

She frowns at him. “If you wanna live to see Peter get better—then you’re getting the pacemaker.”

“I’m not leaving him—”

“It’s a quick procedure,” she says. “I had some of my biomedical engineers make it the same shape as your old arc reactor—it’ll fit right into the old spot.”

The way she’s saying it… God, Tony had that thing in his chest for years. A device, something whirring and glowing, living inside him the same as an organ. He used to wake up in the middle of the night in a panic, worried that its mechanisms would fail, that it would click off and kill him in his sleep. He spent so much time just listening to it, staring at its wires, panicked that it was about to die. If he laughed too hard, if he slept too slowly, if he showered—he had this strange fear that the water would seep through his skin and ruin the reactor—that the spray of water would reach the mechanism, and the whole thing would fizzle out and die, going dark in his chest, and he would die there.

“Is it safe?” he asks.

“Yes,” she assures him. “Safer than walking around with a ticking time bomb in your chest—which is essentially what you’re doing now.”

He hmphs and thinks of Peter— “But if Peter…”

“It’s just a magnet, Tony,” she says. “Thousands of people have pacemakers—it’s not new technology, it’s something that works. We can do it while you’re awake, if you want. Insertion will take an hour, tops. Local anesthesia only.”

“Fine,” he says. “Fine.”

Helen nods, and she taps a couple times into her tablet. “And… Do you think you could let me run a couple more tests?”

“If it’s quick,” he says stiffly.

SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 9 — 12:02 PM

Jim Paxton agreed to reuniting Cassie and that Peter Parker guy.

Of course he did. The whole room was waiting for him to say yes.

But he really, really doesn’t think it’s a good idea.

He’s a cop—a New York cop, at that—and he’s seen the worst and the best of people. He knows that when people experience abuse, and it’s left untreated—then those same people tend to turn around and become abusers themselves.

He’s done research into Charlie Keene’s history—that’s what happened to him. Keene’s father beat him one too many times—and now he’s taking it out on Peter Parker and the rest of his friends. It’s the same for so many supervillains he’s encountered: they are just people who experienced pain. And then those people grow up, grow bitter, and they inflict that pain onto others.

Peter Parker has experienced a lot of pain. According to Captain America, he was living with Cassie daily. He’s a seventeen-year-old boy, and Cassie’s a seven-year-old girl, and Jim Paxton has spent enough time in the Special Victims Division to know how that plays out. He gets that Parker was the main victim of Charlie Keene—he’s seen the kid. He knows. But he also knows that violence begets violence, and that if Peter Parker was living with Cassie for five months, then he was just as much a threat to his little girl as Charlie Keene was.

Jim has been Cassie’s stepfather now since 2015. Three years. Three years of loving this sweet, beautiful little girl—who’s now so traumatized by her kidnapping that she can’t use the bathroom anymore. And now that her real father is dead—killed himself in order to save Peter Parker, according to Captain America—Jim is the only father Cassie has.

And he’ll do anything to protect her.

Deep in him is the pull in his gut—he has to know. He has to know what happened to his daughter while she was gone. Cassie won’t tell him; Captain America won’t tell him; Peter Parker certainly won’t tell him. So Jim Paxton will have to infer on his own.

So he calls his friends down at the station. Officer Palmer is the only one who might do it for him—they’ve been friends for too long, and she knew Julia Paz pretty well. She’ll be happy to help. “Come on, Avery,” he pleads. “Some photos, DNA evidence, interrogations… Anything you’ve got, I’ll take it.”

It takes some persuading, but eventually she agrees. “I don’t want to see this on the morning news,” Palmer says. “Keep this under wraps, Paxton.”

“Got it,” he says.

“And… I’m real glad you got your kid back. We’re all thinking of you, down at the station. If you need anything else…we’ve got your back.”

Hopefully, whatever she sends him will be enough for him to get a good sense of what happened to Cassie. “Yeah,” he says. “Thanks, Palmer.”

She emails the files to him—crime scene photos, forensic evidence documentation, autopsy reports, mugshots, the works. He tries to open them up on his phone, but the files aren’t compatible, so he scours the Medbay floor for someplace with a computer. One floor up, Jim Paxton finds a conference room—one long table surrounded by rows of chairs, with a computer and a projector screen up front. He enters it—there’s a Stark Industries symbol on the door—and quickly draws the blinds, locking himself inside.

No one else is going to see these. No one but him.

He opens up his email on the Stark Industries computer, and he opens each of the files that Palmer sent to him. The first one is a series of crime scene photos, ones of the entire bunker.

The first series of pictures is of the outside. There it is: a cave hidden in the White Mountains, and all the way at the back a bunker door disguised as a slab of stone carved directly into the floor of the cave. It’s hidden well. A keypad on both sides requiring entry. Inside, a ladder leading to a small space barely enough for two people, and then a second door, a regular one, heavy-duty. A keypad on either side of that one, too. There’s a photo of the inside of that second door, and it’s covered in blood—dried black in spatters—and scratches on the inside as though from something metal. A note typed up over the photo: Suspect maintains that victims attempted escape four times in total prior to 23 August 2018. Neither victim ever made it past the first door.

The ‘suspect’ seems to be one of the perpetrators—a young black woman who took a plea deal. They don’t give her name, but information from her is all over the files in red writing: notes from her interrogation. The files also identify two victims: Victim A, an adolescent male and Victim B, a prepubescent girl.

It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to guess who is who.

Jim Paxton clicks another photo onto the projector screen, this one from inside the bunker: hallways, rooms upon rooms, most of them filled with sleeping bags and unwashed bunks, so many remnants of drugs that the DEA filtered through. Empty baggies traced with PCP, used syringes everywhere, and the blood…

And another note: Suspect maintains they were supplied illicit substances by an unknown source. Suspect maintains that the victims were sometimes provided with these substances—opiates and other analgesics—to mediate pain. Victim A was forced to abuse enhanced sedatives through intravenous bolus on a daily schedule. Victim B was occasionally abused through pharmocological torture—a mixture of propofol, hyoscine, and methylphenidate was identified through hair analysis. Suspect maintains that the drug caused ‘extreme pain’ upon intravenous injection, and that Victim B could often not speak for hours after a dosage.

They drugged her. They drugged her. God, no wonder she was so afraid every time a needle came near her. “Oh, Cassie,” he whisper, “oh, honey…”

Following that note, a photo of two empty jumpsuits. Black. Rough-looking, as though meant for felons instead of children. One of them has the legs and arms folded over and sewn grossly up, as though for a child….

A child, he thinks again, and he feels very ill. Is that what Cassie wore in there?

Both victims’ clothing were tested for traces of illicit substances. Remnants of oxycodone, morphine, fentanyl, undetermined opioid, undetermined narcotic, undetermined stimulant—all found in the fabric.

There’s blood everywhere—brown and black and red, too. There’s a photo there of that police officer’s corpse—Julia Paz, one of their own—and she had been found so brutally beaten that they hadn’t recognized her upon arrival. Her skull had been smashed to pieces with a hammer, her face bashed in beyond recognition. Another body in the hallway, outside a row of bunks—a soldier, ex-SWAT, had been shot four times: chest, head, crotch, dying just hours before police arrived. They found Charlie Keene’s prints on the gun that did it.

Jim shouldn’t have these photos. He really, really shouldn’t have these.

He paces through the conference room, peering closely at the photos, leaning closer and closer to look at them as though he could fall inside. Some of the notes ring through his mind: pharmacological abuse, extreme pain, attempted escape…

They tried to escape. His Cassie tried to escape—and she’d failed.

Jim clicks to the next photo: a room with a chair.

Suspect maintains that Victim A was taken to this room daily and tortured there—his abuse was consistently filmed. That room was the only clean place, like they had someone cleaning it regularly. Most of the DNA came from one person in the room: Scott Lang, so they could infer from the evidence that he was the one cleaning that room. Cleaning the blood away. He can’t imagine Scott Lang like that—the good-mannered, scatter-brained jokester with a slight criminal record—scrubbing away blood from a torture chamber, but he imagines it anyway.

Scott Lang didn’t deserve this. Jim was never a fan of the guy, but God he didn’t deserve this.

He clicks to the next photo—a close up of the chair. It’s got metal cuffs, each one lined with a rubber padding that seem to have worn away through the years. A dozen cuffs—a metal-lined strap dangling by the head of the chair. All of the blood on the chair—months and months of blood splatters, layered over each other, some cleaned away, some left to dry—the rest of the blood belonged to Peter Parker. One of the officers has attached hyperlinks to different parts of the photo: access to DNA matching. Every swab is tested, labeled, and marked on this page.

BLOOD SAMPLE #63: Profile consistent with Victim A.

BLOOD SAMPLE #64: Profile consistent with Victim A.

BLOOD SAMPLE #65: Profile consistent with Victim A.

Each one the same as the last—it goes on and on, dozens of tested blood spatters, flecks of blood, most of it belonging to Peter Parker. Some of Cassie’s, too, though.

And a cart in the corner of the room. Metal. Rows of torture tools on it: blowtorches, knives, scalpels, whiplike wires, straps, hammers, pliers. And they’re all dark at the tips, like from old blood that never came out.

He’s gonna be sick.

He’s seen some of Cassie’s scarring—a cut that went right through lip, like from a ring, her crushed left hand, the pink knifelike marks on her right, the rows of cigarette burns on her side.

Jim braces his arm against the wall, pressing his forehead against it, and he takes deep breaths in an attempt to console himself—he keeps seeing Cassie’s brutalized face in his mind, the bruising, the cuts littered over her head, and he imagines her in this chair, crying out for help.

He has to keep going.

He has to keep going.

Jim clicks through document after document, more and more, skipping the ones belonging to Victim A, and searching for his daughter’s moniker amongst the files. And finally there: a series of photos labeled: Victims’ residential area—identified by suspect.

More notes are typed up and linked to the title, and Jim spreads them all out on the screen. Suspect maintains that victims were forcibly confined to this space, and were prohibited from leaving upon threat of violence. Victims only ever left the room by force. Room was locked from the outside but frequently entered. Room measures at nine by six feet. Fifty-four square feet in total.

Fifty-four square feet. That’s nothing, the size of a walk-in closet. And they were living there? This whole time?

Suspect maintains that there was originally bedding and other items in the room. A mattress, sheets, blankets, and one pillow. Suspect also maintains this bedding and other items, including medical supplies, extra food and toys, were removed as modes of punishment in the first month of captivity.

Jim’s face is buzzing with something—alive. Someone stole her bed from her—someone forced her to sleep like a f*cking animal on concrete, someone took her toys from her—someone made her afraid to take a toy from her parents, afraid to play.

In that room there were markers of Cassie's blood too, identified by a labeled circle. It’s marked on the walls, in spatters on the floor, even on the bed, all identified as belonging to VictimB—Cassie. And there’s a sprawling pool of old blood staining there, nearly black cleaned mostly away. The blood is unidentified, but there’s a note: Suspect maintains that one captor shot another captor inside of their living area during an attempted escape, and both victims witnessed his death by exsanguination.

Exsanguination. Blood loss to the point of death. They watched that happen to someone? Who?

He clicks to the next photo, and then to the next, and he finds a photo of the wall beneath their bed, one that’s littered with small words carved into the concrete. Dozens of little messages, scratched into the wall in different handwriting. One he recognizes as Cassie’s. Jim used to watch her write on the sidewalk with colored chalk—and now he’s reading her handwriting off the concrete wall of a f*cking torture cell. I MISS YOU DADDY, says one. And then PETER + CASSIE, which makes him sick deep in his belly, and then HOME HOME HOME a ton of times. CASSIE WAS HERE. PETER WAS HERE. More and more, all little messages, messy half-correct lyrics to Beatles songs, and even I’M SORRY in her messy chicken-scratch writing.

Why would she be sorry?

Why the hell would Cassie be sorry?

She’s even written her phone number on that wall; Jim and Maggie and Scott made her memorize it when she was much younger. Jim’s the one who came up with a little song for the numbers so she wouldn’t forget it.

Jim wonders, then, why Cassie wrote it down.

Maybe she was afraid that she would forget.

Suspect maintains that both victims tore up their original clothing to create bandages and other tools. When those resources were gone, captors provided them with standard-issue prisoner’s jumpsuits: see attached.

The next photo is of long strips of cloth laid out on an examination table, and Jim can barely recognize it. He remembers the clothes that Cassie was taken in: her pink pants speckled with shooting stars, her purple shirt with a unicorn on the front, her blue hoodie decorated with belugas. Blue socks. White sneakers. Kid clothes. But these… Torn messily into strips of clothes, stained by blood and whatever else, worn by washing so many times that the color has all faded, each of them so stained that he can’t tell what belonged to her and what belonged to Peter Parker.

There’s no shoes here—what happened to his daughter’s shoes?

There are pictures of toys, too. Happy Meal toys, some of them just hard plastic filed down into sharp knifelike things: like shanks in a prison. The note that accompanies it: Suspect maintains that victims were fed with fast food, and were allowed to keep the toys that accompanied each meal. After one month these toys were reclaimed by their captors as a form of punishment.

They kept them. The toys. Those sick f*cks kept the toys and didn’t give them anything. No wonder Cassie keeps spacing out as she does—she’s used to having nothing to do. Just staring at the wall.

Every time he sees the words Victim B, his eyes still and he reads it quickly. And, horrifically, it just goes on. And on. And on.

Suspect maintains that their head captor abused Victim B whenever she was too loud.

Suspect maintains that Victim B was forcibly kept from her father.

Suspect maintains that Victim B was violently punished for any attempts her father made at escape or outside contact.

Suspect maintains that Victim B was denied medical treatment for her crushed fingers.

Suspect maintains that Victim B attempted to murder one of her captors at Victim A’s behest.

Suspect maintains that Victim B was punished by being forced to witness Victim A’s torture.

Suspect maintains that Victim B was present during sexual encounters between Victim A and another captor.

Oh, God. She saw it. She saw it.

It keeps going like this, sentence after sentence, note after note, and Jim keeps reading and finding more photos. Mugshots of the bloodied captors. Photos of the well-used rooms. Evidence bags full of torture tools. It’s neverending.

He looks and he looks until he feels like he might collapse, reads until he feels his eyes are bleeding, until finally he finds himself looking at a photo of that room again—the room that Cassie lived in.

This is where she was for five months. For five months. In this blood-spattered cell, fed through a slot in the door like an animal, beaten every time she cried, her toys stolen from her, trapped inside with some crazy teenager.

And Jim wasn’t there.

SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 9 — 3:17 PM

Pepper has another meeting with their lawyers—with Matt Murdock and his partner, who are supposed to be helping them with Peter’s case.

“The chief complaints,” says the man, adjusting his glasses, “have already been filed, and an official arrest was filed against the Stark Seven by the federal government.”

The Stark Seven. Right. That’s what the press has been calling the surviving perpetrators of Peter’s kidnapping.

“Federal?” echoes Pepper. She’s sitting in a conference room with the man, And there’s a stack of Braille-written papers in front of him. His partner Foggy Nelson sits beside him, nodding in agreement. “Is what they did… Is that…”

Matt Murdock nods slowly. “Kidnapping someone and taking them across state lines—that’s a federal crime. Along with everything else—racketeering, using a minor to commit a crime, drug trafficking… It’s all under federal jurisdiction.”

She grimaces. In that moment, Tony walks in, guided in by Rhodey, and he sits down in a chair near Pepper, one empty chair between them. “Sorry,” he says, “just got Pete to sleep again, so—make it quick.” He squints at the two men, finding both Matt Murdock and Foggy Nelson with his eyes. “Are these…”

Pepper clarifies quickly that they’re the main lawyers of the case.

“Nice to meet you,” says Tony, and he nods to them both.

“Uh,” says the man, with an odd chuckle, “we, we already met.”

“Oh,” Tony says, blinking. She knows that his memories from those first few days are a little fuzzy—Helen says it’s normal with the drugs he was taking. “Sorry.”

They catch Tony up on the basics of the case, quickly, and then the man asks, “I don’t understand—he doesn’t need a defense attorney, he’s—he needs a federal prosecutor, not a—not you.”

The man grimaces. “Mr. Stark, are you familiar with the Sokovia Accords?”

He blinks up at the lawyer. “The Accords fell through,” he says carefully. “They’re not… They didn’t…”

“That’s right,” he says, “but only because the government passed several other laws to protect its non-enhanced citizens.” Beside him, Foggy Nelson shuffles through some papers, pulls a couple out, and passes them to Pepper. “It’s called the law of collateral damage.

How has he never heard of it?

Murdock continues, “The law states that for crimes committed against enhanced peoples, you need a private attorney—someone like me, someone who knows about enhanced law, about vigilantes… I’ll be the one representing you in court, not the prosecutor. For superheroes and supervillains, anyone enhanced—they require a private lawyer. Someone like me.”

“But…” starts Pepper, shaking her head. “I don’t understand—does that mean what happened to Peter wasn’t a crime?”

Murdock winces. “Almost. It’s a more recent clause—something that Secretary Ross proposed as a response to the Accords debacle. Basically, it says that if you operate outside the law, you aren’t protected by it. It makes enhanced criminal cases more…difficult. Anything that happens to you as a vigilante—aggravated assault, stalking, harassment, anything—it could all fall under the law of collateral damage, as long as it’s committed against an enhanced individual or non-enhanced vigilante.”

Pepper has never liked Secretary Thaddeus Ross—the way he convinced Tony that the Sokovia Accords were going to help, when all they did was hand over control to the guys already in power. He was such a sleazeball, always vying for more power, always trying to crush enhanced people under his boot.

“But,” says Tony from beside her, his voice eerily quiet, “they tortured him. They—that—that can’t be legal.”

Matt smiles sadly. “There’s a lot of exceptions to the law, but… Most of what happened to Peter? It’s considered collateral damage. A” —he makes air quotes with his fingers— “natural consequence of being a vigilante.” He continues, “You can go to court for it—but the law states that you have to prove the crime was ‘cruel and unusual,’ which basically means hashing out every single thing that happened.”

“Very subjective,” adds Foggy from beside his partner. “Pretty difficult to prosecute. Matt and I have seen, like, one case actually prove it was ‘cruel and unusual.’ It’s rare that it works out, especially for enhanced-against-human cases.”

Murdock nods. “They assume vigilantes will, uh, resolve things amongst each other.”

“So we’re not prosecuting?” asks Pepper.

The man shakes his head, and his sunglasses glisten a little in the light. “I didn’t say that. The federal attorney will still prosecute them on the non-enhanced charges: any crime committed against Cassie, any drug crime… But yes, most of the crimes against Peter, yes, they will go unprosecuted.

“Plus, we’ve related the case to nearly a dozen different deaths in the state of New Hampshire. When we prosecute on behalf of you and Peter and the other victims—we’re gonna be chasing those charges, making sure these guys get prosecuted for the non-enhanced crimes.” He clears his throat. “But yes, for now—until we can gather more evidence and see if they go after a plea deal, yeah. The feds are just charging them with just the basics—kidnapping of a child, transporting her across state lines, illegal substance use… Anything committed against Peter, Scott Lang, Steve Rogers” —he glances to Tony— “or you, Mr. Stark—we’re gonna have to wait and see which charges have enough evidence to actually stick.”

“But Peter,” says Tony, and she looks over at him, “he’s a kid. He’s… He’s just a kid. How can they…

Matt winces again; Foggy starts pulling the papers back towards them. “I know,” says the lawyer, “but under the law of collateral damage, any enhanced person past the age of thirteen—they can held legally, feasibly responsible for their own vigilantism.”

Tony shakes his head. “They didn’t kidnap him because he was Spider-man,” he whispers, and his face looks like it’s breaking. “They kidnapped him because I loved him.”

Pepper jerks her head to look at him, shock wavering through her chest. Tony’s never said that. Never, ever said that.

“Unfortunately,” says Matt, “the law doesn’t see it that way—Ross made it so any crime committed against vigilantes in any capacity—it could all be covered by the law of collateral damage.”

Damn Ross. Damn him, always on a power trip, always haranguing for more. He’d always been so pissed that he wasn’t enhanced—that some people had more power than him just by their nature. Pepper had seen his military history; he was always trying to build more weaponry, to stifle more enhanced vigilantes, all so he could seem more powerful. And now it’s affecting Peter, too. Damn that man.

“But I do have some good news,” says Matt Murdock, nodding vaguely at them both. Pepper knows the man’s blind—his eyes don’t meet hers when he speaks, just go in their general direction. “I appealed to the judge and the federal attorney on Peter’s case, informed them about his…condition, and the judge granted us some extra time to prepare him before the next hearing. Another two weeks. September twenty-third.”

“Hearing?” echoes Tony, sounding weary. “I thought we already…”

The man nods. “That was the probable cause hearing, just to set bail—all Seven were denied it, because of how violent the crimes were. But next is the arraignment—the first official court appearance. And Peter… Most likely, he has to be there.”

Pepper shakes his head; Tony makes a small, tired sound and tips his head into his hands. “But he…” she tries. “He can barely hold a conversation, Matt. He can’t… He can’t go to court. He can’t even get out of the damn bed.”

“I know,” says the man, “but unfortunately, he’s the main witness for the case. I can try to avoid it—make it so we use evidence instead, but for some of the crimes…” He glances quickly at Tony, who’s boring his palms into his eyes and taking small breaths, and then returns to Pepper. “For the sex crimes… They need a witness on the stand. Someone who’s not a child.”

Peter’s a child,” whispers Tony.

“I know,” says the man again, as gentle as he can, “but in the eyes of the law, he’s a much more trustworthy witness. If Peter can’t testify at the hearing, then some of them might get off on their charges. They could pin it all on one—some of them could claim victimhood, depending on the evidence against them—and go scot-free.

“How long?” echoes Tony, finally looking up. His eyes are red-rimmed now from the way he’s been rubbing them, and he squints at both lawyers.

“Two weeks,” repeats Matt. “And it’s already been put off for a while now—I think that’s as long as we’ll get.”

“How long will it take?” asks Pepper. “The whole thing?”

“The whole case?” Matt asks, and Pepper nods. “Well, there’s a lot of steps in felony cases, arrest to sentencing, and each one can be different.” He shifts lightly in his chair. “It all depends on the arraignment—if they plead guilty at the hearing, then you’re golden. You go straight to sentencing, pass go, the works. It’ll be quick.”

“And if the Seven” —it feels strange saying it like that, like the very mention of them doesn’t send Tony into a dark mental spiral— “plead not guilty?”

Matt clears his throat. “Then we’ve got to get into the stage of formal charges. Gathering evidence. Solidifying the crime that was actually committed. Figuring out what we can actually prosecute them for, which can be different than what he’s actually done. Gathering witnesses, expert testimony, things like that.”

“And how long does that take?”

Foggy answers this time, his smile a little sad. “Minimum, about a month. Maximum? Six months, maybe more. Then after a formal charges hearing, we get to pretrial. If Keene and the others don’t take a plea, then we’re still going forward.”

Pepper grimaces. Already they’re looking at seven months, and Murdock hasn’t begun to discuss the actual trial.

The man removes his sunglasses, cleans them with the corner of his shirt—but it’s just fiddling, and he puts them back on without looking in their direction. “During pretrial proceedings, there’s not usually any hearings—Peter won’t have to appear, but we’ll be getting witnesses and everyone together. About three months, maybe four, maybe more, for a case this dense. When it’s done, then we go to trial. That’s the hard part. With a case this complex…” The lawyer sighs. “ “With this many people? This much evidence? This many witnesses? Bare minimum, two weeks, but it could be a month or two.”

“So…” says Pepper. She tries to do the math in her head, but she’s much too tired.

“So if they plead not guilty, we’re looking at about a year,” finishes Murdock for her.

A year.

Pepper’s not sure Peter can endure a minute on the stand, much less a year.

She looks at her fiancé then, at his trembling hands, at the way he presses his knuckles into the center of his chest as though alleviating a pain there. She’s been much too hard on him—he’s witnessed Peter’s torture, for months, for months, and still she’s harassing him about one slap from five months ago, something he did under duress.

She remembers that day in April like it was yesterday. The way his hand moved towards her face, the sudden drop in her stomach as she realized what was about to happen, the impact hard enough to cause her eye to sting, the rush of anger and betrayal that came after.

It’s not going to be easy to let go of it.

But maybe she can try.

After the meeting, Pepper follows Tony out into the hallway.

He’s walking, still tired and trembling, bracing his hand against the wall and using the wall to guide himself, and Pepper paces after him, following close behind until finally she’s there at his side, taking his arm just like she used to before, leading him carefully back to the elevator. “You love him,” she says quietly as they walk, and Tony keeps moving, in slow shuffles.

“Yeah,” he says, and the words sound like of course.

“You never would’ve said that before,” she says.

“Well,” he says, “things change.”

So they keep walking, keep moving, shuffling in lockstep.

She and Tony used to joke about adopting Peter—it was half a joke, half real. With the amount of time he spends here, said Pepper one, as they were in bed, you might as well—it’d make all the internship paperwork a hell of a lot easier—

Can’t have someone accusing me of nepotism, he said.

Sweetheart, he’s not a nepo baby, she said, laughing. He’s not your kid. He hadn’t even realized he’d phrased it like that, and he laughed into the pillow. God, you’re such a dad, Tony—

Tony pulled a face. Ugh, don’t say that—

Oh, it’s true—just adopt him already. Half the press thinks you have a secret love child anyway, you might as well give them something to talk about.

Tony laughed a little then, the sound pleasant. God, that kid. If I have one, he’d better turn out exactly like Peter Parker.

SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 9 — 7:15 PM

Jim’s been in the conference room for hours now—outside, the sky is beginning to darken.

He’s read so many files that his eyes are burning from the strain, and he’s had to take multiple breaks just to gather his breathing, just to calm down long enough to start reading again. It’s sick. It’s sick. He’s reading more of the evidence logs now, and he finds a document there labeled: EVIDENCE COLLECTION: BIOLOGICAL FLUID ANALYSIS. It identifies tested samples as whatever fluid they are, and his heart twists at the thought of what he could find. He has to read this.

Sample #29: Blood.

Sample #30: Blood.

Sample #31: Urine.

Sample #32: Blood.

Sample #33: Inconclusive.

And it goes on and on like that, hundreds of samples tested, and it’s not just blood and urine. It’s cerebrospinal fluid, saliva, bile, and many so mixed up that the results were inconclusive.

And he skims the thing—he knows what he’s looking for, and he finds it somewhere in the third page. Sample #148: Seminal fluid.

There’s a ton of them all in a row—dozens of samples all identified as sem*n, and Jim sits back into his chair. The oldest one is from July. July. Who did it belong to?

He goes back through the linked documents, back and back and back, until at last he finds the sample list linked to testing seminal fluid.

SEMINAL SAMPLE #148: Profile consistent with Victim A.

SEMINAL SAMPLE #149: Profile consistent with Victim A.

SEMINAL SAMPLE #150: Profile consistent with Suspect F.

SEMINAL SAMPLE #151: Profile consistent with Suspect F.

And on, and on, and on. He doesn’t know who the suspect is, but the victim… That’s Peter. They found… Peter’s… They found more in that room than just traces. Substantial amounts from as early as July 9th. And Cassie and Peter were the only people living in the room—the report said that. Which means that Peter…

“Oh my god,” he whispers, and he has to sit.

The guilt rips through him, a serrated knife in his gut, opening him up like something surgical, tearing him open like his intestines are already spilling out onto the conference room carpet. Jim let this happen. Jim sat around at home, safe, warm, well-fed—he sat at home for five months while Cassie suffered.

What kind of father did this?

He should’ve found her. He should’ve rescued her. He should’ve torn apart the world looking for her.

He knew it. He knew it. He knew that Peter Parker guy was a danger to his kid, and he was right. Jim feels dizzy, and he presses his hand to his forehead. They’re gonna reunite his baby girl with that sick f*cking kid?

He won’t let it happen. He can’t let it happen.

He has to do something.

He has to protect his daughter.

SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 9 — 9:44 PM

Clint Barton has been driving back and forth from New York to Iowa since he rescued that little girl in the woods.

And when he’s home, even, he finds himself in a daze, drifting through dinners, watching his children play in the living room like it’s the last time he’ll see them breathing. He comes to his three-year-old ‘s room just to watch him sleep; he’ll sit on the front porch and watch his kids play, unable to partake. He’ll sit next to his daughter at the kitchen table and just watch her, taking in her health, her safety, the fact that she’s so close to him, the privilege he has to be alive with them.

His wife Laura knows what happened—he told her everything, so she knows exactly why. She keeps saying to him every night when he gets up to check on them, “They’re okay, sweetheart. They’re safe. They’re right here.”

Clint installs more locks in their doors, and several times a night he will go downstairs to re-lock them. He can’t imagine—what happened to Cassie, to Scott Lang’s daughter, it happened so easily. Someone snatched that little girl right out of her kitchen.

Clint just can’t stop thinking about little Cassie Lang in the woods, terrified and covered in blood. Peter Parker in that hospital bed, hollow-eyed and covered in scars.

Tonight, he finds himself in the laundry room, sorting through old clothing. He knows that Peter lost all his stuff—that his landlady gave away everything in the apartment once him and his aunt didn’t come back—so he’s trying to find something to give to him.

Peter’s just six months older than his son Cooper. That could’ve been Cooper. That could’ve been Cooper. And little Cassie… An image of his three-year-old Nate flashes through his eyes, bloodied and thin, and he has to stop moving to press his fingers into his eyes. “Jesus—oh, God.”

He keeps sorting and sorting—old socks, shirts, sweatpants… They’ve been saving it for Nate when he was older, but… His thirteen-year-old daughter Lila is tall for her age, nearly Peter’s height, so some of hers might fit, or some of Cooper’s, too.

Clint can’t turn back time. He can’t save those kids four and a half months earlier.

But this… This, he can do.

He spends so long on the laundry room floor that his knees begin to ache, and soon enough he hears a voice from the doorway: “Dad?”

He looks up to find his daughter Lila in the doorway. She’s dressed in her soccer uniform: blue and white stripes. The stripes make him think of prison uniforms, and prison uniforms… God, that’s what they found Cassie Lang in. A little prison jumpsuit with the arms and legs sewn up to fit her. A torn-up sweatshirt that belonged to Steve Rogers before he’d been beaten half to death. She didn’t even have socks. “Dad,” says his daughter again, and her brown eyes scan the room; she’s still dirty from soccer practice, grass stains on her knees. “What are you…”

The room is covered in clothes.

“We, uh… I’m just looking for give-away clothes, that’s all.” He motions vaguely to some of their old clothes, stuff she gave up a long time. “If you’ve got any more…”

She glances down at the clothes and then back at him. “For what?”

He just sits there on the floor. “There was a kid,” he tries, and he doesn’t finish.

When he looks back up, she’s put down her backpack and her soccer ball. Her brown hair’s tied back in a ponytail; she looks so much like her mother. “Mom said,” she says, “something happened to one of your friends. Is that why…?”

“Yeah,” he says quietly.

“And I saw on the news… Someone, like, kidnapped Tony Stark? And someone else?”

He nods a little. “His…” Son? Pseudo-kid? Prodigy? Intern? “A kid, too. A teenager.”

“Oh,” she says.

“They lost a lot of his stuff while he was gone,” he manages. “I was just trying to find some stuff for him… Just thought, maybe…”

Lila lingers in the doorway, hand on the frame. She’s still got her soccer cleats on; he should probably yell about her getting dirt in the carpet. “Yeah,” she says after a beat, “yeah, sure, ‘course, Dad.”

He nods wearily.

“How old’s the kid?”

“Seventeen,” he says, “I thought—just, I thought maybe you had something.”

Lila frowns at him, and for a second he thinks she’s about to say something like that’s not a kid or i’m not giving my stuff to some random teenager, but she just says, “Yeah, you might wanna ask Coop—his stuff’ll probably fit a little better.”

Clint grimaces. “Uh,” he says, and then his voice drops to this quiet place. “I will, just, he was… He was starved.”

Lila makes this pained face; maybe Clint shouldn’t tell his thirteen-year-old something like that. He didn’t mean to—he’s just not thinking like he used to.

“Just… He’s small. About your height.”

His brave girl nods, and then she says, “Yeah, I’ve got some stuff.”

She goes, and it’s barely five minutes before she returns with a boxful of clothes, and his teenage son is there with her, shifting behind his daughter, his arms full of clothes—current ones, past ones, a ziplock bag full of boxers. “I haven’t worn them,” he says with a scrunched face. “Mom got ‘em for me a couple months back, and they were way too small.”

They put it all down, adding them to Clint’s pile and standing awkwardly by the doorway.

He’s breathless with pride for his kids. “Oh, Coop,” he says, and his chest hurts a little. “Yeah—that’s perfect. That’s great, Lila. That’s really, really great.” And he takes a shudder of a breath, and presses his hand into his eyes.

He can hear the kids move, and then they’re next to him, on the floor hugging at his arms, Lila’s face in his chest, Cooper’s arms around his neck. “We’re right here, Dad,” he says, and his son’s voice sounds worn, “we’re right here.”

Clint chokes out a sound and kisses the top of Cooper’s head. He can’t even think of a word to say, so he just hugs them tighter, breathing in the smell of their hair—he’s so grateful. He’s so, so grateful.

MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 10 — 4:55 AM

It’s morning now, and Cassie’s scheduled for a small scan to get another look at her lungs; her cough doesn’t seem to be getting better.

And Jim—he spent the night planning.

Cassie’s under some medium sedation for the procedure, enough that she’s drowsy enough to fall asleep during the scan.

It’s then that Jim excuses himself and leaves; he heads for the elevator and goes up to the residential floors. He and Maggie have access to them, courtesy of Pepper Potts, and stalks the floor to find the room belonging to Bucky Barnes. It’s a temporary room—like an apartment, ones some of the Avengers use when they’re staying, so Barnes’ name is written on the door in dry-erase marker. Jim knows that Barnes has a series of weapons: guns, knives, etc. He just has to find them.

He passes several rooms with names written on their fronts: Harley Keener, Helen Cho, Alexis Miranda—and finally, BARNES in all caps.

The door is slightly cracked—perfect.

He’s quiet, slipping inside the empty room, careful not to touch anything. Barnes is still downstairs, he knows, standing guard over Peter Parker’s room, so Jim won’t be disturbing anyone. He moves through the residential room, finding a small kitchenette and a living space with a couch.

There on the kitchen table—two handguns, side by side, a pile of bullets beside them. Perfect. He’s not trying to hurt anyone—he just needs to make sure he can get Cassie out of the building safely—he knows how the Avengers can be, and a tower full of them won’t let him walk out without a fight. So Jim needs a gun.

He picks up the first one, removes the magazine to check how many bullets are inside, and pops it back in before tucking the gun into his waistband. He won’t need it—it’s just a failsafe. He’s gathering up some of the extra bullets on the table when he hears something stir on the couch, and he freezes.

There’s someone here?

Jim stands there in the kitchen for a moment, unmoving, hand still on the pile of bullets, and waits till enough time has passed before he peeks over the edge of the kitchen counter, craning his neck to see—there’s Steve Rogers, America’s Star-Spangled Man, sleeping half-dressed on Bucky Barnes’ couch. There’s a knitted blanket over him. Jim didn’t see him the first time—he’s sleeping on his side, got one arm tucked around his stomach, and his face is still marked up by whatever happened in the bunker: his face pink with lined scars. He’s breathing deeply, in and out through his nose—good, he’s asleep.

Jim leaves quickly then, quietly, before Captain America notices he’s there.

He’s waiting for the elevator when he hears movement behind him—Jim turns and finds a teenager there at the end of the hallway. He knew there was some kid living on this floor, floppy brown hair and a pleasant demeanor—he’s seen the kid drift through, but he can’t remember his name. He looks about Peter Parker’s age—although healthy, and much less mutilated.

“What are you doing?” says the kid, and his blue eyes drop down to the gun in his waistband and then back up.

Jim should’ve covered it up with his shirt, but he forgot. “Don’t worry,” he says quickly, trying to come up with a proper lie. “I’m a cop.”

The kid’s eyes narrow at him. He’s dressed in pajamas, and he looks tired, dark circles under his eyes that match everyone else’s in this place. “Reassuring,” the kid says dryly.

The elevator dings behind Jim and he turns back around steps inside. “Nice to meet you,” he says, and he tries to keep the urgency out of his voice, “gotta go.”

He’s slamming buttons with his hand—god, close doors, close doors.

He can still see the kid’s skeptical face as the elevator doors close.

Notes:

they'll reunite in the next chapter i PROMISEEEEE just i needed to set up jim causing some problems first

plz comment any questions concerns and i know u wanna yell at me for not reuniting them yet sorryyyyyy

i gotta post now lol i got a girl coming over ahaha wish me luck

Chapter 40: like the sun holds the moon

Summary:

chap title from 'letters from the sky' by civil twilight

cw: references to violence/torture obv, some mild kidnapping

Notes:

my life is going to absolute sh*t rn + this is the only thing keeping me above ground i swear to god, i wish i was like one of those ppl who could just do things that are good because they want to do them, like i admire that, i wish i was that

thanks for sticking with me tho guys haha it’s always nice to know ppl like my writing, i think it’s the only good thing i’ve got

sorry it's late, the beginning and middle are eh but like the ending is pretty nice, got some good stuff in there, hope u like

a couple things before you read this chapter - (1) remember that jarvis is not all the way set up yet. pepper set it up, not tony, and therefore he’s not completely secure, especially to people from the INSIDE who are the people he’s supposed to be protecting

(2) if you don’t remember, there was the stairwell incident a while ago, chap 25, reread that for anything that's like jim-facing-off-with-tony, similar vibes

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 10 — 5:29 AM

The sun hasn’t risen yet.

Jim moves quietly through the main hallway of the Medbay, and he can feel the cold metal of Barnes’ handgun against his back; with every step, it’s warmed by his skin. He’s a cop, so he’s familiar with guns—this one’s a military pistol, standard issue, black with a 21-round magazine.

When he reaches his daughter’s hospital room, Cassie’s sleeping in the bed and Maggie’s sleeping on a cot beside her. They must’ve finished the scan. She’s got a small oxygen mask on her face—maybe to help her breathe while she was sedated. Jim moves to his daughter, standing above her bed, and his heart clenches.

He glances quickly to his wife Maggie. She wouldn’t approve of what he’s about to do—but she’ll understand once he’s got Cassie safe at home, once Cassie’s protected from that Peter Parker. He’ll let her know once he’s got Cassie safe and sound. Jim sends her a text—[Don’t worry.] [Cassie’s safe with me.]—and sends it, hearing his wife’s phone buzz in her purse.

Maggie doesn’t wake up.

Then Jim leans down to Cassie’s bed. He takes off her oxygen mask, slowly pulling the rubber straps away, getting it up and over her shaved head. The bandages there are gone, her head left only with scabbed-over cuts. She’s still got some tubes in her, one in her forearm connected to an IV bag filled with fluid. He’s seen the nurses do this enough times that he’s kind of got the hang of it. Grabbing the tube from one side, he unscrews one tube from the port, untapes the plastic tubing from where it’s stuck to her scar-lined arm, and then yanks the needle out. It bleeds a little, a sudden trickle down her inner arm, and Jim curses aloud before pressing down over the spot with his thumb.

Cassie’s still half-asleep—the sedation must still be in her system, and she lets out a couple mumbly whispers before going quiet again. “I got you, sweetie,” he says, trying to pick her up—but Cassie cringes away from his touch so he gives her a couple seconds, hovering over her bed and whispering, “It’s okay, it’s just me, it’s just me…”

She’s not awake, not truly, and Jim manages to pick her up once she falls asleep again, gathering her in his arms. Cassie’s very, very light; months of malnutrition will do that to a child. And she’s breathing strangely, in shallow huffs against his shoulder, and her head lolls into his neck.

Jim moves.

He holds Cassie in one arm and pushes open the door with the other—god, she’s so fast asleep that she’s near limp, and he has to adjust her to keep her from falling—and Jim finds the hallway near-empty.

He can’t take the elevator; he knows it’s connected to some kind of computer system that alerts the whole building to any mishaps. He’s heard Tony Stark and his buddies talking about it. So they’re going to take the stairs.

There is only one person between him and the stairs—one of Cassie’s nurses, a black-haired woman. Damn it. He has to go now, though, so he moves quickly, removing the gun from his belt with his free hand; the nurse faces him as he passes as though to say hello, but her eyes land on Cassie instead.

“Sir?” she says, and before she can get another word out Jim’s pressing the gun to her side. “I’m not gonna hurt you,” he says as the woman’s breathing kicks up several notches. “I’m just keeping my daughter safe. You have access to the lobby?”

Her eyes glance down the hallway. Jim pokes the gun at her again, and he hisses, “Don’t lie—you have access or not?”

The nurse nods shakily.

“Good. Then you’re coming with me.”

The nurse leads them down the stairwells one floor at a time, but they’re seventy-some floors up, so it’s a tough trek. They only make it about ten floors before Cassie begins to stir, bleary, shifting in Jim’s arms.

“Peter?” she whispers, quiet and confused, pressing her face into his arm. The sedation still pulls at her, making her voice waver, keeping her eyes closed.

He and the nurse keep moving, stair after stair, and Jim says, “No—it’s just me, sweetie. It’s Jim. You won’t ever have to see that boy ever again.”

The nurse looks at him, her eyes darting between him and his daughter, and Jim waves the gun at her so she’ll keep moving. He didn’t plan to be taking a nurse with him—just her badge—but he can’t risk the wrath of the Avengers coming after him before he can get Cassie out of the building.

And they’re gonna make it out of this building.

They have to make it.

MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 10 — 6:13 AM

Peter’s eating.

They’ve given him one of those cans—Cho filled it with some high-nutrient porridge of some kind, something with matching nutrients to what he would’ve been given through the tube. “This is good,” says Cho, “this is really, really good, Tony.”

Like the little girl, Peter eats with his hands—he’ll hold the can with one and scoop out the insides with his fingers, shoveling it into his mouth at rapid speed, shovel and swallow, shovel and swallow; the kid’s moving in such a maniacal way that he’s finished in mere seconds, and sucking at his fingers for any semblance of remains. He’ll go on like that, dragging his fingers along the inside of the can until it’s shiny and clean, sucking at his fingertips for minutes afterward.

They can only give him one at a time—right now, they’re up to two cans per meal, extra fluids through his IV and extra calories through his NG tube. And when the mealtime is over, he’ll just fall onto his side with his hand at his belly, the open mouth tilted towards his nose, inhaling deeply. He was smelling the can. Pete was so hungry that even smelling the empty, licked-clean can was worth something.

They starved him, Tony keeps thinking. They starved him and this was all they gave him. He’s walked past the little girl’s room—he’s seen Cassie Paxton-Lang do the same thing, eating as fast as humanly possible, scraping the food into her mouth and barely chewing.

Why do they eat so fast? Did they threaten to take it away? Were they punished if they didn’t?

“I think they’re just hungry,” says Sarah Wilson when Tony asks her. “I think they’re just really, really hungry.”

Tony is the only person that Peter will allow to get close—almost close enough to touch, but whenever he tries Peter makes these small gasping noises and stiffens before just going entirely pliant. So Tony just speaks to him in a quiet, steady tone and eventually Peter will pull himself out of it with a shudder and curl up into a ball on the bed, stroking that teddy bear’s back, his whole body trembling.

Peter’s not fully aware—but he’s better. He’s doing much better. He can always tell now when Tony’s in the room, he’s sleeping through the night as long as he has the stuffed bear, and he’s eating with his hands on a near regular basis. As long as they keep the door closed and interaction minimal, he’s okay.

And his super-healing—it’s kicked in, and his heart looks near-normal on recent scans, the wounds on his back have almost entirely healed, and the bruising around his neck has faded completely. It’s not helping much with the scarring, but he looks like a patient now instead of a bloodied corpse. Even the spots where his IV have poked in have healed, leaving nothing but slight bruises at their insertion spots.

They’ve still got to work on his leg, though. The right one. That knee that Charlie took the hammer to nearly every time he tried to escape. Tony keeps asking, and Dr. Cho keeps saying, “He’s not strong enough yet.”

But he looks better. He looks like Peter.

His delirium is getting better one hour at a time—although his answers to the mental exams are messy, he is definitely aware of his surroundings. Lucid, like a dog would be of his crate. This morning, after Peter finishes his breakfast—one can of oatmeal and one can of mushed banana—and he’s done inhaling the can for more, he places the can beside him on the bed and then watches it, glancing from Nurse Kaelyn and back to it as though waiting for her to do something to it.

That nurse is usually the one who gives him food—so maybe that’s why he stares at her so intently.

Whatever the reason, he’s doing better—even the nurse has commented on it, how he’s growing used to the people coming in and out, how he’s much, much calmer than he was when he first arrived, when he could barely be touched without screaming bloody murder.

He’s doing better, Tony reassures himself. It’s a good sign. He’s doing better.

He thinks momentarily of what Matt Murdock said: Two weeks. And it’s already been put off for a while now—I think that’s as long as we’ll get. Tony’s got some pull with a couple judges—maybe he could convince them to let Peter do something prerecorded instead. Or a video conference. Because honest to God—Peter will never last more than a minute in a courtroom, or any other room that’s not this one.

But they’re getting closer. Every day, Peter gets better.

MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 10 — 6:30 AM

Cassie’s waking up.

As the drugs drain from Cassie’s system, she gets clearer and clearer, blinking and moving, twisting in his arms. “Peter?” she says, and Jim feels that twist of hate in his gut again. “Peter—Peter—Peter—”

“He’s not here,” Jim says, perhaps too sharply because Cassie immediately starts to cry, “no, no, sweetie, we’re going home, don’t worry—we’re going home… I’ve got you—”

Cassie sobs, pushing away from him, and Jim nearly trips down the stairs in his effort to keep her in his arms. “Cassie—stop—stop that—”

“Where—where—Peter—

“We’re going home,” Jim repeats, “we’re just going home—”

Cassie’s crying and shoving at him, and the tears are wrecking her voice. “I don’t—wanna go home—they’re—they’re gonna—”

“No one’s gonna hurt you there,” he assures her, but she’s only crying harder, her palms pushing into his chest, punching and punching and scratching, every movement growing more forceful as the

“I wanna, I wanna stay—with Peter—”

“No more Peter,” he says harshly, and when he turns to take the next stair she starts wailing— “Cassie, stop, you’re gonna be safer without him, stop fighting, just let me—”

And then she’s screaming.

She’s screaming.

The sedation must be entirely out of her system now because she’s clawing at him with renewed vigor, and Jim’s trying to get a hand over her mouth, because god, if someone hears them then they’re screwed—and Cassie’s just hitting at him as hard as she can, and shrieking incoherently into his hand, and the only words Jim can make out are, “PETER SAYS NO!”

And they can’t get her calm again so the nurse waves her badge against a door to a random floor and they hide inside—but it’s barely a couple minutes before Cassie claws at him hard enough to draw blood and, as soon as Jim drops her, dives bodily under the nearest surface—a desk stationed in the open hallway, cowering beneath it like a rabbit in a hole.

He tries to draw her out, promising they’ll go home, but she just won’t, crying and crying for Peter, for her mother, for Scott Lang, anyone but Jim. Why does she call for Peter and not for him? Why does she call for Peter and not him?

Jim’s never gonna get her out of here like this.

He’s still got the gun pointed to the nurse, who is glancing between him and Cassie, and he approaches her then—she backs up towards the wall like she did the first time, hands raising. “Give her something,” he says, “you’ve got something, right?” He knows they usually have them—a couple syringes full of drowsy sedatives, just in case Cassie or the Parker kid go ballistic. “You keep it on you, I know you do—the sedatives—”

“I’m not sedating her,” the nurse says quietly, and she gives Jim this hard look.

He waves the gun at her, pointing the barrel at her chest, and she doesn’t move, hands still raised in the air. “I don’t think I asked your opinion,” he snaps. “Give me the—”

And the nurse moves out of the way.

Jim’s never been so pissed. He pokes the gun at the nurse, and he says, “She’s not staying here any longer—I’m not leaving her here with you people—”

“She doesn’t want to go with you,” she says coolly.

“She doesn’t know what she wants—”

“She does,” says the nurse, and she’s backing up and backing up and Jim’s coming at her with his gun, “if you’d just listen to her—”

“She’s a child!”

“She’s your child,” she says, “and you’re scaring her.”

Jim glances back then to that desk, and Cassie’s still crying, calling for Peter—for Ava—for Maggie. Anyone but Jim.

He remembers then, that a couple days ago, Cassie was playing with her toys after a breakfast of soft-scrambled eggs. She’d been playing with that stuffed zebra—Ava—and when she was done eating she held the edge of that metal can to her stuffed zebra’s head and scraped along it slowly, slowly, quiet the entire time. Is that how it happened? Jim asked, glancing back and forth between the stuffed toy and his daughter’s shaved scalp. The cut’s there were still there, scabbed over. Who did that to you?

That child psychiatrist gave him a warning look and said, Jim, very carefully.

But he ignored her—and he asked his daughter again, Who did that to you, sweetie?

Peter did it, his daughter said, and she’d continued scraping that can along her zebra’s head as though she hadn’t just made Jim sick to his stomach.

There was no way in hell that Jim was letting Cassie go back to that place.

“Shut up,” he says to the nurse, and he waves the gun again. “Just tell me how to get out of here.”

MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 10 — 6:41 AM

“We’ve got a problem,” says Pepper, looking very CEO-of-Stark-Industries, and Tony hushes her. Peter’s focused intensely on Pepper, his arms hugged around his knees, watching her with these wide-fearing-eyes.

He’s a little more agitated today; Tony still doesn’t know why.

“What kind of problem?” he asks, and he tries to give Peter a reassuring glance, but the kid’s just rocking and rocking, arms around his knees, mouthing words to himself.

“A…” Pepper glances towards the kid, and then she carefully spells out the little Lang girl’s name aloud: C-A-S-S-I-E. “...problem. Maggie says she never got back from her scan—and the stepdad’s gone, too.”

Tony straightens suddenly—Peter flinches—and Tony turns to Pepper. “When’s the last time…”

“An hour ago,” she says.

“How—”

“JARVIS didn’t say anything,” she says, and her voice borders on panic, “and her nurse is gone, too—we only knew when she didn’t check in.” Pepper pulls something out of her bag then, Peter shifts—making a small whimpery sound at the motion—and it’s a laptop. Macbook. Happy’s laptop. “We downloaded him onto Happy’s old Mac—and we’ve been trying to track her down, we’ve locked down the elevator to anyone but top-levels—but we don’t have facial recognition going yet, it only works for people who were already in the system, and Cassie’s not one of them—”

“Who set him up?” he says, already tapping into the computer and opening up his old AI’s code.

“I did,” says Pepper. “We had to—it was the way we figured out where Peter was, how we got into the compound, but I didn’t know how—”

Tony’s already typing away, opening up code after code and adjusting, adjusting—and behind him Peter’s making these small, scared sounds. He’s moving too much—so he stills his upper body, trying to stay calm as he types. He’s learned this—if he’s calm, Peter’s calm.

But right now he’s gotta find that little girl.

“I’ve got it,” he says, tapping a few buttons, “Cassandra Paxton-Lang, sixty-fourth floor.” Security camera footage pops up on his screen, the picture grainy and attempting focus, entirely mute. But there’s a couple people with her—a dark-haired man and a woman in scrubs: her nurse, maybe, and the man is obviously her stepfather, kneeled down and speaking to her.

That moron.

That f*cking moron.

“She’s okay,” he says. “Paxton’s with her.”

Pepper nods, relief in her shoulders. “Probably trying to take her home—alright, everybody, let’s go—”

Then everyone’s running around, and Pepper’s rushing out of the room, and there’s a couple of Avengers and doctors flooding down the hallway—

—and when Tony turns around, Peter’s standing beside the hospital bed.

He’s standing up.

Pete’s still dressed in that hospital gown, and he’s blinking slowly at him like he’s trying to clear his eyes of debris. The teddy bear’s on the bed, forgotten, and Peter’s got one arm curled around his side like he’s guarding it. One tube threads from a white patch on his shoulder—his central line—attached to an array of tubes on wheeled poles, pulled near taut. His hair’s long and scraggly, swaying as he does.

Tony should wash his hair again. Why hasn’t he been washing his hair?

“Peter,” Tony says, holding his hand out, palm down, as though to calm him, his heart thumping, he’s standing, he’s standing, my kid’s standing up, “I’m coming back, I promise.”

But Peter doesn’t even respond, just staring emptily, and his eyes drift somewhere down to the floor and stop.

And that’s when Tony realizes. He’s not looking at him. He’s looking past him.

He glances down to where Peter’s gaze is going; behind him, footsteps and shouts. The kid has super-hearing, he remembers; he can probably find Cassie wherever she is in the building.

Peter’s thin and wary still, but he’s moving, the tubes growing taut as he tries, and he only seems to grow more frantic as he takes those small steps, squinting at his surroundings—he hasn’t left the bed in a long, long time. Suddenly, very sharply, his head jerks up to Tony and then back to the floor. “Cassie,” he says, and the kid’s voice is louder than normal. “Cassie?”

“She’s safe,” Tony assures him, and Peter just closes his eyes, taking a sharp breath through his nose, “we’re just gonna get her back, I promise.”

And then he’s turning back to the teddy bear laid sideways on the bed; things are coming to him slowly, but Peter’s still in there, eyes grazing around the room, confused, to the wall he and Cassie share, and then coming back to Tony and then to the floor.

Tony realizes now that Peter must’ve been able to hear Cassie this entire time—their rooms were right next to each other, after all. Maybe that’s why he thought the bear was her. “Yeah,” Tony says. “She’s downstairs, we’re just gonna…”

Peter wants to come with.

It’s clear in his eyes, in his stance—everything about him screams I’m gonna save Cassie. Not that he’s in any shape to, but Peter’s never been one to listen to authority; he was always so stubborn; and this is the first time he’s seen something this Peter in a while, that spark of determination that used to light the kid’s face all the time. If Cho was here, she’d probably say that Peter shouldn’t be out of bed, but Tony doesn’t care—this is Peter, and if Peter wants to walk down the hallway, then Tony’s gonna help him.

But then Tony f*cks it up.

Peter tries to move, his hand outstretching to find the wall, but he slips and falls down, and Tony’s too far to catch him, and the kid cowers as he moves, covering his head with his weak arms. But he can’t get up—he keeps trying and trying, even as Tony backs up, but he’s trembling so badly that any pressure he puts on his legs just forces him to collapse, and he chokes out, “Can’t—can’t, can’t—”

“Let me help you,” he says softly, inching towards the kid, “lemme help you up, come on, I’ll take you to her—”

Peter tries again, and again, but each time he collapses. Those muscle relaxants Cho has him on, the ones that keep him from injuring himself—these are the ones keeping him from following the sound of Cassie’s voice.

Tony tries, “Buddy, let me help you, please, just let me help you, can I touch you?”

And Peter gives him this horrible, horrible look, like he’s giving in.

Tony feels the weight of Pete's expression deep in his gut like a stone. “No, buddy, it’s just me,” he says, “it’s just Tony.”

“Tony,” the kid echoes, breathless.

“Yeah,” he says, “it’s Tony, it’s Mr. Stark, I’m not gonna hurt you.”

Peter just stares at him warily, his eyes following Tony’s hands.

“You can hear her, right?

He doesn’t respond.

“Peter?”

“Hear her,” Peter whimpers, but he doesn’t move towards Tony, just curling in on himself against the wall, pressing his hands against his head. He’s trembling, and he keeps looking at Tony and the distance between them like he’s about to lunge at him.

“It’s just me,” he says, trying to reassure him once more, and he’s just kneeling on the ground beside his kid, “just Tony, just me…”

“Cassie,” the kid whispers.

“I know this is all confusing for you buddy,” he says, outreaching his hand, “I know, but I’ll take you to her, I promise I’ll take you to her.”

“Promise,” he whimpers.

“Yeah, Pete—I’ll take you to Cassie, I’ll take you to her.”

And Peter nods, and he’s still crying into his hands, so f*cking frightened of whatever Tony’s gonna do that he’s barely even talking anymore, and when Tony reaches out one more time, grazing Peter’s arm, trying to coax him up, then Peter just—goes. It takes barely a second and then he’s gone, curled up on his side, sweat coming over him, his arms going limp like he’s been shot.

“Goddamn it,” he says, guilt churning in his belly. “I’ll bring her back to you, kiddo, I promise.

And he leaves Peter on the floor where he is, curled up on the tile, and Tony struggles into a standing position, using the wall to help him. He opens the door and Steve Rogers is in the doorway, blocking off Peter’s door as per usual. “Watch him,” he begs, “please, just watch him—I’ll be back soon.”

Steve Rogers nods, and moves past him, his broad shoulders taking up the doorway to Peter’s room. “I’ve got it, Tony. Go find that girl.”

MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 10 — 6:59 AM

It’s not hard to find Jim Paxton.

He’s kneeled on the floor near some kind of desk—under it, his stepdaughter hides, sobbing her eyes out, and there’s several scratches going bloody across his face. Cassie’s handiwork, Tony presumes.

As soon as they show up, a couple of doctors and several Avengers, the man stands up, waving his gun around, and shouts, “Get back! Get back!”

There’s a nurse there with him, too, and she looks particularly miffed at the whole situation.

“I won’t let you take her! I won’t let you put her back with that f*cking guy!”

The two psychiatrists are at the forefront of at all—Cassie’s psychiatrist in the pink scrubs and Sarah Wilson in her white coat. Maggie Paxton is there, too, trying to get to her daughter, but with Jim waving that gun… “No one’s gonna take her,” says Dr. Alexis, her hands raised a little, and her eyes dart to the nurse. “We’re right here with you, Jim, we’re not gonna—”

“A gun?” says Rhodey aloud, “how did he get a gun?”

Alexis shoots a look back at the man.

“That’s mine,” says Bucky Barnes, and he moves forward.

“You had your gun on you?” snaps Rhodey. “The hell?”

“I always have a gun on me,” Bucky snaps back.

Jim’s gun arm is shaking, pointing from Avenger to Avenger like he doesn’t know who to shoot first.

“Jim,” says Sarah Wilson, taking a cautious step forward. “Let’s just put the gun down, okay? We can talk about this—it’s not safe for Cassie to leave here—”

“It’s not safe for her here!” he shouts. “You’re trying to sic Parker on her—trying to—

The man’s words light a fire in Tony’s belly, and he shoves his way to the front. “He’s not an animal!” snarls Tony, “he’s a kid, too, and they went through this together—”

“You don’t know that!” shouts Jim, with a wave of his gun, and the man’s glaring wide-eyed at them like he thinks they’re blind. “You don’t know that, Stark, you don’t know the things I’ve seen! They found things in that bunker, signs—”

“Let’s try to stay calm,” says Sarah, appearing between them, and when she catches Tony’s eye she gives a look reading: Why the hell are you here? “I think we can all agree that some really horrible things happen in that bunker, but that doesn’t mean—

“Do you know what she said when we asked about her hair? Huh?” says Jim, waving his gun so wildly that even Sarah backs up. “She said Peter cut it. Peter! Peter Parker cut my little girl’s hair off—those cuts on her head—that was her, she showed me—”

Tony steps up to the man, and somewhere at the end of the hallway Cassie Lang is crying, and Tony declares, “He was probably just—trying to get rid of the lice, Paxton, you saw it when she got here, those things were everywhere, those things can make you sick and they didn’t have any med—”

“Then why didn’t he have them—“ snaps Jim, and Tony thinks then of Peter’s long hair, mostly intact, shaggy and tangled and worn. “Why does Peter get to keep his hair, huh? How is that fair? How is that fair?

Tony thinks, and he thinks, and he thinks—oh— “He can’t get them—his mutation, bugs stay away from him, lice probably do too—“

“God, all these f*cking excuses!” Jim shouts, and he points his gun at Tony, and then at the psychiatrist, and then back to Tony. “I know what he did—I know what happened in there—I read the reports—I know what he did to her!

How the hell did Jim Paxton get his hands on the forensic reports?

Right. He’s a cop.

The child psychiatrist is there again in her pink scrubs, hair tied back, and she speaks in this firm voice, “Look at her, Jim. Look at her.”

And Jim looks.

“There's only one person frightening your daughter right now. It’s not Tony Stark, it’s not Charlie Keene, and it’s certainly not Peter Parker.”

Jim glances back—there, under that desk still, the seven-year-old girl is curled up in a tight ball with her hands over her ears, crying with such force that her face is pink, her nails still bloody from scratching.

“Ah, Jesus—” he says, but his voice wavers.

“I'm a child psychiatrist,” continues Dr. Alexis, “and I’ve been doing this job for a while now—I've seen abusers who posed as caretakers, parents who took out their emotions on their children, even kids who abused their siblings.” She takes a step forward. “I know what it looks like—what you’re looking for—and Peter is not one of those cases.”

She adds, stepping forward again, “I understand what you think happened—I’ve seen the reports, too. But you’re not reading, Jim. You’re making up your own story. If you read the entire report, you’d know—Peter Parker would, and did—repeatedly lay down his life for your daughter. He’s the reason that your daughter can still speak, can still eat, can still hold a conversation, can still touch someone without having a mental breakdown. Peter Parker’s the reason your daughter doesn’t look like him. He’s the reason you got your daughter back in one piece.”

Jim Paxton is staring at her with teary eyes, his mouth pressing down, his gun arm shaking.

“The police and the Avengers might’ve broken her out of there,” says Dr. Alexis, and her brow slopes a little, sad, “but Peter Parker saved her.”

Jim’s crying into his hand, the guns going down, and Dr. Alexis takes a step forward. “You did everything you could,” she says, inching forward. “in a horrible situation. You have every right to be angry, but at the captors, Jim, not at Peter.”

“Oh, God,” the man says, and he’s pressing his hand into his eyes, gun dropped at his side.

“You got your daughter back,” she says, and the man nods miserably, “Don’t take it out on her protector.”

MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 10 — 1:20 PM

It takes another couple hours of coaxing Cassie, and reassuring both parents, and placing several temporary cameras in Peter’s room so that they can see what’s going on—then finally, finally, Jim Paxton allows them to reunite Cassie with Peter.

They’re going to let Tony and Maggie Paxton into the room—both kids’ parents—in case anything goes immediately wrong, but it should work. “I think this’ll be good for both of them,” says Sarah, “I really do.”

They get Maggie a white labcoat to put on for Peter’s sake, and they get little Cassie washed up, giving her something to eat right before so that she’s a little calmer.

And then they stand outside the door, Maggie carrying Cassie and Tony itching for Peter. “You ready?” Maggie whispers to her daughter, but the girl’s already whispering to herself, “Peter, Peter, Peter…” like a mantra.

Tony just hopes this works.

Tony pushes open the door slowly, carefully, and he hears Peter make that panicked sound like he usually does, and the little girl’s already breaking away from her mother and barreling straight for Peter—

(Tony would’ve thought that Peter would flinch. Or scream. Or cry. Or all of the above.)

—and the kid somehow knows exactly who it is because he drops the teddy bear he’s holding as Cassie climbs up on the bed, whispers her name like he’s saying a prayer, and wraps both his arms around her in a tight hug.

And he’s holding her. This is the calmest they’ve ever seen them both; the girl tips her face into Peter’s shoulder and loops her arms around his neck and just sit there in his arms, and Peter closes his eyes like a sigh. It’s not long before they’re whispering to each other, muttering slow, and Peter runs his hand up and down her back—the casted one, the wrist he broke fighting the restraints—and she keeps whispering and whispering as tears come down his face.

And then Tony hears some words, louder, ones they can actually understand, the kid choking out, “Cassie.” And it’s the clearest Tony has ever heard his voice since they got him out, like that day in the stairwell, like that day he broke his arm. “They…”

MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 10 — 1:25 PM

Cassie’s here.

She’s here, she’s real and she’s warm against him, warm and breathing and right here with him, safe. He whispers to her, “They… They…?” And he can’t get the words out—HE CAN’T GET THE WORDS OUT—but she knows the question, they’ve done this so many times now that she knows the question: Did they hurt you?

She shakes her head, and Peter’s chest deflates, a relieved exhale. He doesn’t even manage the next question, just this small sound: “An… And….” and he’s just holding her as tight as he can, but his arms feel so weak. Did they touch you?

The little girl nods her head into his chest, her face teary.

“Where,” he chokes out.

Cassie whispers then to him then, into his good ear, “Nowhere bad.”

And he just chokes out this wet sob, relief washing over him, and he holds her closer. “Oh, Cassie,” he whispers.

“Hi, Peter,” she whispers, and the pure relief in her voice. She’s okay. She’s okay. His kid’s okay and here and unharmed.

“Hi,” he sobs. “Hi, hi…”

She’s the only thing that makes sense. She's the only thing in this entire universe that makes sense.

“You look weird,” she says.

WEIRD, weird—he tries to whisper something back, but he’s spiraling, spiraling, and he’s dizzy with thought—YOU WANNA DIE, PARKER? HUH? IS THAT WHAT YOU SAID? GOD—YOUR FACE IS SO f*ckED UP, IF I LOOKED LIKE THAT I’D WANNA DIE, TOO—LOOK AT YOURSELF—SHOW HIM—SHOW HIM—LOOK, PARKER! I SAID f*ckING LOOK—

And he can see someone move at the door, and he screams. A man and a woman, a man and a woman, and they’re here for him—they always come to take him away—

“Peter.”

And Peter’s crying, he’s crying and he can’t help it, and Cassie’s holding him and she’s stronger than him, his brave kid, his brave, brave kid. And he just squeezes her arm so she knows he heard her. WHY ARE YOU CRYING PARKER? HUH? DID THAT HURT? YOU WANT A LITTLE MORE, DON’T YOU? He swears he can hear Charlie's maniacal laughter down the hallway, and he twists his neck, his heart pattering.

“They’re nice here,” she says, “Ava-nice. They took them away—the always-hurts, they took them…”

There’s a new person, a NEW PERSON—he doesn’t know her, he doesn’t know her, did they bring more people? More people—more people, more Beck, more people like Beck—NO—stop, stop it, you’re not there, Cassie said you weren’t there, stop it Peter you stupid freak you’re not there—you’re somewhere else—and you’re never going home—

“Did they hurt you?”

DID THEY HURT HIM—his body aches but it feels almost good, his stomach is full—why is his stomach full?—“Can’t,” he whispers… “Can’t… can’t remember…”

“I saw you,” she whispers. “you were sleeping. You’re always sleeping.”

Sleep—sleeping—he’s asleep, he’s always asleep, when he’s mind’s asleep he’s safe but his body’s always awake, alive, a dissected frog splayed out on a tray—ARE YOU SLEEPING—WAKE UP SPIDER-BABY, WAKE UP! WAKE THE f*ck UP!—he can’t die, he can never die—if he dies, they all die, they all die—he can never escape, he has to hold on—

“I saw him, too,” she says, and her face is turned behind her, at that bearded man. Familiar man. Tony. Tony with a beard. “He sits next to you, Peter. He holds your hand.”

“And Mommy’s here,” she says, and that gets him.

“What?” he whispers.

“Mommy's here,” she insists. “She’s here, she’s here.

He chokes out, “Where… Where…”

Cassie whispers very quietly into his ear, “Mommy says this is a good place.”

“Medbay,” he chokes out, and he tries to keep his thoughts afloat and it’s like trying to keep his head above water, like someone pushed him out to the deep end and his toes can’t find the scraped-up bottom of the pool. “Medbay.”

Peter scans the room then—white walls, white ceiling, posters—are those his posters? Iron Man, Captain America, Black Widow, Thor—and there’s Mr. Stark, there’s Tony and there’s too many people in the room—

—only two people in this room, by the door: Tony and a blonde woman. Cassie said that was her mom, is that her mom—why would her mom be…

And behind them the door is open, cracked behind them, and he f*cking trembles—

—the fear that seeps into him is something alive, something with teeth, and it gnaws at him, scrapes all the way down his back—HE’S HERE HE’S HERE—THE DOOR IS CRACKED—HE COMES FOR YOU—AT NIGHT HE ALWAYS COMES FOR YOU—

“Close the door,” says Tony, “close the door, Maggie.”

That man with the black-and-gray beard. Tony. Tony, and there in his chest—a blue light. a circle.

Iron Man.

Iron Man.

It's Tony. It's Iron Man.

“Tony…?” Peter manages, and his voice comes out all warped.

“Yeah, Pete. I'm right here. I'm right here with you…”

“You…”

He knows Tony's here. He does. But… The… The Medbay…

He’s in the doctor’s area—he must be— he knows he’s just dreaming, that the man in the beard is just the doc—BUT THE DOC IS DEAD, YOU KILLED HIM, YOU KILLED HIM, HIS HEAD WAS THERE AND THEN IT WAS BLOOD—UNCLE BEN—UNCLE BEN—

“Peter,” says that soft voice. “Come back to us, buddy. I'm right here. Cassie’s here, too.”

Peter jerks his head to Tony, and he's so clear, like a photo—he just be dreaming, this isn’t real, THIS ISN’T REAL—

“It’s real,” he says, “it’s real. We got you out.”

Then Peter feels tears come down his neck, bubbling over, and he whispers, “No, we—we’re never, never—“ He’s never getting out of here, he’s gonna die here, he has to, he knows it’s true—it’s so true he can feel it in his bones, in his chest, in every inch of his skin, he’s gonna die like this—YOU’RE GONNA DIE LIKE THIS, YOU’RE NEVER GOING HOME, YOU’RE NEVER GONNA SEE THE LIGHT OF DAY AGAIN! TELL ME PARKER, WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU RUN? WHAT HAPPENS? SAY IT! f*ckING SAY IT!

When you run you get punished, when you run you get punished, WHEN YOU RUN YOU GET PUNISHED—punished, punished, punished, he’s gonna—HES GONNA—HES GONNA—

“Peter, look at me.” He does and those are Tony Stark’s eyes, Tony Stark's face, Tony Stark's hair, and he’s older—he’s older and Peter's older, and his belly is pleasantly full. “Look at where you are.”

Cassie’s in his arms, whispering and Peter takes it in, he really takes it in, and he almost sobs when he sees his blanket on the bed, “That’s mine,” he sobs, and it comes out like a whimper.

Tony's eyes are filled with water. “Yeah. Yeah, that’s yours. Where are you, buddy? Can you tell me where?”

The posters on the walls, the Stark tech lining every wall, the smell of antiseptic and warm cloth. “Medbay,” he whispers, and it doesn’t just sound like words. “The—the Medbay.”

Tony smiles at him through his tears. “Yeah, Pete. You’re in the Medbay.”

And the very concept itself seems horrible, like a dream that will be stolen by morning. “The Tower,” Peter says, and Tony nods again. He’s smiling, he’s smiling, and peters really struggling to tell the difference between him and charlie, because every time he blinks he sees Charlie’s eyes superimpose over Tony’s— “So we—we—“ He looks at the man because his stomach is twisting, and he holds Cassie tight, “Did we—I don’t—Charlie—the phone—”

“Yeah,” he says, “we made it. You were gone for a little while, yeah, but you’re home now, buddy. You’re home.”

“Home,” echoes Peter. “Oh… oh…

“Yeah,” says that wonderfully familiar man. “Home.”

“Mommy says,” whispers Cassie in her ear, “we’re not in our room anymore. No more Charlie. A new place now. With doctors.”

It doesn’t make sense, it just doesn’t make sense.

But he remembers seeing the people floating through—all the white coats, all the blue scrubs, just like the doctor back at the bunker. And Cassie doesn’t lie to him—they have rules. Cassie never lies to him. So how…

“I'm scared,” he whimpers. YOU SCARED, PARKER?—he sees that beard flash in front of him and he cringes away from Charlie, where are his hands where are his hands—GOD, YOU’RE SO PATHETIC—SUCH A f*ckING PATHETIC LITTLE FREAK—TELL STARK WHAT YOU ARE—TELL HIM, TELL HIM OR I’LL CARVE IT INTO YOU MYSELF—pathetic, pathetic, pathetic little freak, Parker the mutant freak, Parker the spider-bitch, not even human, he’s not even human…

“I know,” he says. “I know you are, but you’re safe now. We got you out.”

“We….” and the word drags on in front of him. YOU DESERVE THIS, DON'T YOU? SAY IT! SAY IT! SAY IT OR ILL CUT YOUR f*ckING TONGUE OUT—FINE! FINE! OPEN YOUR MOUTH—OPEN YOUR f*ckING MOUTH! “Please—please, I—please—I don’t—” He gasps shakily, a sob. “I don’t, don’t understand—what do you want?

Tony stares at him for a moment then, and the look in his eyes hurts him, he can feel his eyes still on Peter’s f*cked-up face, and the man says, “We don’t want anything,” he says gently, “no one’s gonna hurt you again, no one’s gonna…gonna take from you again.”

Peter shakes his head, and he shakes his head again.

“You’re at the Tower, buddy. you got it right. You’re at the tower, and I'm right here with you. It’s not a dream, it’s not a trick, it’s me. It's Mr. Stark. I'm not gonna hurt you. I would never, ever hurt you.”

“You were there,” he whispers, “the phone—the phone—“

“Yeah,” he says, and the man sounds like he’s going to cry, “I'm so sorry, Pete, I'm so… I’m so f*cking sorry.”

There it is again. Sorry.

This is how Tony Stark sounds in his dreams. “Not a dream,” he whispers.

“Not a dream,” echoes Tony. “This is real, Peter. You’re safe here.”

There’s a flash of metal in tony’s hand—THE HAMMER, THE HAMMER, HE’S COMING AT YOU WITH THE HAMMER—STAY STILL, SPIDER-BITCH, OR I’LL MAKE YOUR OTHER LEG MATCH—but it’s just a watch, just a watch, shiny and metal and Iron Man colors. “How long?” Peter whispers.

“We got you out about three weeks ago,” he says. “You were at another hospital for a couple days, and now… you’ve been in the Medbay now for two and a half.”

Three weeks. Peter chokes on the thought. He doesn’t think he even knows time anymore, just the thought of his next meal, and it’s not time is it?—it’s not time—NOT TIME BUT WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME, MAYBE IT'S ALMOST TIME— “How—how long—before—before—

Tony looks crestfallen. “They took you in April,” he says quietly, “it’s September now.”

“September tenth,” whispers Cassie where she’s lying sleepily against his chest.

He can’t do math—he can’t do anything—he’s a useless piece of sh*t—A USELESS f*ckING FREAK, I SHOULD CUT YOU OPEN ON THIS TABLE, HUH? MAKE THE INSIDES MATCH THE OUTSIDE, RIGHT, PARKER? RIGHT?

“Four and a half months,” Tony says to him, and he sounds very sad. “Twenty weeks. They took you… They took you out of your car.”

“Oh,” he says, and everything starts to come into place. He’s starting to remember bits and pieces, flashes of before, flashes of Tony Stark with his immaculate goatee, Aunt May holding a burnt walnut loaf…

And he remembers the car.

He remembers the car.

They were going to eat something—somewhere new, out of Queens and into the Bronx. May was sitting in the driver’s seat, or maybe he was, because he only had a permit, never a license. She was talking and he was talking and then Peter felt fear like he’d never felt come up his back like a shriek of ice water, and he’d screamed, May, look out!

And he’d fought but it didn’t matter because he deserved to get caught—he was always gonna end up in Charlie’s hands, always gonna end up strapped to that f*cking chair, THE CHAIR THE CHAIR NOT THE CHAIR—and the last time he’d looked at May she was bleeding from her head and her eyes were closed, and he’d thought please don’t kill her please don’t kill her—and then everything had gone fuzzy and sideways.

And he’d woken up in the chair.

It seems like forever ago. It feels like forever ago, and for a second it’s difficult to imagine a time without Cassie at his side, without the cans and the Happy Meals, without the lingering threat of Charlie outside, or the shadow leaving the door cracked—and he sobs into Cassie and Cassie holds him back, whispering to him.

Cassie. She's here. and no one hurt her.

He forgot that it wasn’t always like this. Memories come to him: pencil-ridden desks, a bell ringing, a girl’s pinky finger brushing against his, mouthfuls of Thai food and May saying, I larb you! Mr. Stark’s lab, him tapping a wire against his shoulder against his shoulder, saying, Turn that Gen Z sh*t on one more time, and we’re gonna have a problem, my record player is for classics only, Peter Parker—and Peter complaining, But Taylor Swift’s, like, timeless! in a voice that sounds nothing like his own—

Was that him? Was that really him, once? That was so long ago, it just feels like a dream.

Is he back?

Could he be back?

Peter tries to remember more, and there’s his best friend and he can’t remember his face—WHY CAN’T HE REMEMBER HIS FACE, and he scrapes his mind for memories and finds only terror, and he sobs again into Cassie and holds her.

He hates that he can’t remember, he hates himself, he hates himself—HE HATES WHAT A f*ckING FREAK HE’S BECOME—he hates that he can’t remember anything, that he’s not the same that he was. He was something before, something better, and now he’s just a stupid freak, a mutilated f*cking freak—he deserves it, he deserves every second of it—WHAT SHOULD I DO TO YOU TODAY, HUH? MAYBE I'LL LET YOU PICK, YOU WANNA PICK, STARK? WHICH EYE SHOULD I TAKE? MAYBE A FINGER? A TOE? AN ARM, MAYBE! PARKER DOESN'T NEED THOSE, HE DOESN’T NEED ANYTHING, DOES HE—HE’S DEAD ALREADY, LOOK AT HIM—HE’S DEAD, HE’S DEAD, HE’S GONNA DIE SOON—THINK HE CAN TAKE SOME MORE? MAYBE WE’LL TAKE THE LANG GIRL INSTEAD, STRAP HER IN—

And he doesn’t know why he’s saying it but he’s saying it and he’s crying, “Don’t touch her, don’t touch her, she didn’t—it’s me, it’s me, I’m a freak, I’m a—I’m a—I deserve it—”

And someone’s speaking to him and when he opens his eyes again through a blurry horde of tears, Tony's standing in front of him again with that pained look. “You’re not a freak,” he whispers. “and we’re not gonna touch her, buddy. You’re safe here, you really are.”

And the weight of what he’s saying is beginning to sink in, and cassie’s clutching at his neck, and he feels like that first day again with the doctor, so f*cking confused, his leg numb and heavy, holding Cassie behind him, his head wild with pain, screaming, YOU STAY AWAY! YOU STAY AWAY FROM ME!— “Are you sure?” he whispers. “We’re—are we—are we—“

Tony nods, and Peter realizes the man is crying, his face shiny. “Yeah, bud. we got you out. No more Charlie, no more bunker, none of it.”

Peter holds Cassie close, and the little girl loops her thin arms around her neck, and he just keeps crying into her little shoulder. “Promise?” he whispers.

“I promise,” says Tony without a second of hesitation, and Peter just cries.

Notes:

i wrote this all on my phone in my childhood bed lol and my mental state is so f*cking frazzled right now i can’t even eat properly like i can't even bring myself to eat things i used to like literal days ago, god i just wanna like time skip forward to when my life is good again, i'm so f*cking stressed

ugh just ignore my ranting i just have no one to talk to rn lol, plz lmk what u think of the chap, or ideas for scenes cuz i got none for next week, idk if i'll be able to get one in next week while i'm still at home for break, i hope so, at least 2k words i think

jesus christ i'm tired, honestly it'd be nice to hear someone say everything's gonna b ok cuz i rly need to hear that lol, i just want like a nice hug rn haha, like one that doesn't mean anything

can't believe we got to 300k words and 40 chapters today, that's kinda dope, thanks for sticking with it

sorry again that it's late, love you all <3

Chapter 41: rise and shine

Notes:

hey everybody life's a f*cking train wreck but i'm here and writing is a great distraction lol

chap title from 'faust arp' by radiohead

cw: lots of references to violence - description of the aftermath of torture in the last section, specifically beck's teeth

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 10 — 4:56 PM

With Cassie beside him, Peter is nearly stable—he’s been awake and lucid nearly as long as she’s been there, not one single going-blank moment, and he’s much less jumpy, only shifting whenever someone gets too close to the little girl. Less of that body-possessed panic, more of a stable wariness.

“It’s okay,” says Maggie Paxton, trying to get around to her daughter. “It’s Cassie’s mom—I’m Cassie’s mom. I won’t hurt her.”

Maybe it’s because Cassie keeps reminding him who she is, or maybe because Cassie’s so comfortable with her, but he lets Maggie touch her, even when every muscle in his body is wound up like a wire. “You’re doing great, buddy,” says Tony. “Really, really great.”

Peter nods. He keeps glancing to the new pacemaker in Tony’s chest—to its new blue glow. Helen got it into him yesterday evening, clicked it into his chest, tested it a couple times, and eventually let him walk around with it. At least he’s not fainting anymore.

“Not fainting,” Helen said, when he said that to her. “A-fib, Tony, and you just let it happen .”

He shrugged then.

Truly, everything’s he’s been through is not even a fraction of what Peter’s endured. He has nothing to complain about.

They give the kids some time alone together—they watch over the security cameras to make sure they’re both safe. Peter spends most of the time with Cassie, but he’s a lot calmer.

There’s something strange in his gaze now—a heaviness. He just keeps staring off into space. It’s the realization, Tony guesses, that keeps weighing on him.

He keeps Cassie away from everything, regarding even the food now with new suspicion. To stop her, all it takes is a small hiss between his teeth, and she’ll pull back to his side, arms around him, and stop everything that she’s doing. “There’s nothing wrong with the food, bud,” he says. “I promise.”

And Peter just peers at him through his haze of stringy dark hair, his brown eyes just darting back and forth around the room, and eventually, eventually takes the can, eating most of it and giving the rest to Cassie. They weren’t expecting them to split the can as though it was all they were getting, so he and the nurse share a worried glance, and she hands them a second one—again, Peter eats three-quarters of the can, and Cassie eats the rest.

Jim Paxton doesn’t like it. Of course he doesn’t. “The power he has over her,” he says, as the kids are taking a nap and they’re out in the hallway, “God, she just listens without even thinking. Whatever he wants, whenever he says it—she looks to him before anyone else, and we’re her parents.

Tony will admit—it’s a little disconcerting, watching how Peter interacts with this little girl. Like everything’s a threat. Like every person is a danger, like every gift is a payment for something worse. “They had to,” says Sarah Wilson, placing a hand on Jim’s arm. “They’re just…used to it, Jim. Being afraid. Just give them time.”

Paxton looks suddenly very tired, his mouth twisted like a tangled cord. “I know,” he grumbles.

But overall, their reunion is going well—Peter is much more aware, and Cassie is much more calm, and when the parents disappear from the room and watch through the security cameras, they watch as the kids talk to each other, lying on the bed before each other, whispering beneath the blankets. At some point, they even move to the floor, but mostly they just lay there in silence, side by side, like twin coffins buried under a single gravestone.

MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 10 — 6:55 PM

And then seven o’clock comes.

Seven o’clock is difficult for Tony—Pepper has watched time and time again as seven o’clock nears, because Tony will start pacing in the hallway like some kind of lunatic, back and forth and back and forth, pulling at his hair and mumbling to himself—

And at the same time, the kids do, too.

They go from tentative calm to full-on freaking out—and they’re not even looking at the clocks. Both kids know somehow, deeply, that seven o’clock has come. Over the cameras, both the Paxtons watch as the kids start to move—Peter shoves Cassie beneath the bed and drags a blanket beneath it, and they both sit there for a while, rocking and hugging each other. Nothing like the lucid kids they had just an hour prior. And Peter is rattled— now Cassie’s the one comforting him, grabbing his arm, and he keeps flinching, like she’s a threat to him, and he eventually just turns over onto his side, gasping and gasping and curling up into a ball, and Cassie just sits there beside him like she’s sitting shiva, hugging herself and rocking, rocking, rocking.

“Let’s leave them,” says Sarah, when Maggie Paxton tries to rush inside, “let’s just try to let them calm down on their own.” Recently, when anyone has tried to come in around seven o’clock, it’s driven the kids to such wild responses that they’ve had to sedate them. “Maybe they can…”

But the waiting seems to only make it worse.

It’s only a few minutes past seven now, and Peter’s pulling at his hair, and tears are coming down his face so fast that his face has this perpetual shine, and soon the kid’s climbing out from under the bed—as Cassie throws the blanket over her head and shrouds herself in it, pressing her hands over her covered ears.

And Peter’s crying so hard that he’s struggling to walk, his hospital gown shifting as he moves, using the bed-railing to help him up, and he’s just moving without thought—all the way to the wall, and he places his hands against it, trembling with such vigor that they think he’s going to fall.

Why is he standing against the wall? Why is he…

Pepper feels now slightly sick.

“Just wait,” says Sarah Wilson.

There are only a couple of them peering at the tablet now—Tony is somewhere in the hallway, refusing to watch, and Maggie Paxton is sitting outside the kids’ door, so it’s just Sarah, Pepper, and Jim Paxton who are watching. Tony won’t say why, but Pepper thinks watching Peter on the tablet must have that same voyeuristic quality as watching him on that television screen.

Peter’s pacing the room again, moving faster than Sarah has seen him thus far, forcing himself forward along the wall, tripping and falling and forcing himself back up. It’s like the kid doesn’t even have pain signals—or maybe he’s used to the feeling, or maybe he just ignores them altogether.

He’s up against that wall again, face-forward, his head tipped against it, and his shoulders are shaking from the force of his crying. He’s starting to tap his head against the painted wall, upset, tapping and tapping, and then Peter’s palms are hitting the wall, and Pepper’s thinking, We should probably call someone, and then there on the screen—

—the door is opening, and Peter jumps, but it’s Tony, dressed in sweatpants and a T-shirt, inching forward slowly, his hands out to Peter like he’s trying to calm a rapid dog. “Damn it, Tony,” says Sarah, her eyes trained to the screen. “I said wait.”

Pepper didn’t even know Tony was close to the kid’s room—last time she checked, he was pacing by the elevator, but there’s Tony, her Tony, moving forward to the sobbing Peter, speaking to him—with the cameras on mute, they can’t hear what he’s saying, but eventually Peter’s nodding, and the kid’s sliding to the floor and curling up into a ball with his back to it, crushing his head between his arms, curling himself up so tightly that he looks small, childlike, a kid in timeout .

And he calms, and he calms, and eventually Tony coaxes him back into the bed without even touching him.

They leave them alone again after that. Sarah scolds him for not letting them calm themselves, worried that something could have gone wrong, to which Tony just says, “I’m not gonna f*cking ferberize him, doc.”

“Tony—”

“Five months I watched him suffer,” he says. “Every day for five f*cking months, Sarah.” Those bags beneath his eyes look near-permanent, dark and sickly. “I’m not gonna abandon him again.”

And Sarah goes quiet, and she sits back a little, and she comments on how well he seemed to calm the kid. “Just…be careful with him,” she says.

“I always am,” he says.

By nightfall, they’re falling asleep side by side, Peter curled on his side, Cassie tucked in the space between his arms, curled up against his chest, Peter’s Star Wars blanket draped over them both. They look as peaceful as Tony’s ever seen them.

And in the morning, several times in the night Cassie wakes up in a nightmarish panic, finds Peter beside her, and promptly goes back to sleep.

And when Peter wakes up that morning, thrashing so badly that his arm smacks into Cassie, she grabs his hand and holds on, squeezing, until Peter drags himself awake, in a sobbing, screaming frenzy, gasping and gasping and Cassie just talks to him, talks to him, and helps him calm down in just a couple minutes.

TUESDAY, SEPTEMBER 11 — 8:08 AM

The next day, they give the kids the entire day to be together. The whole day.

Physically, both kids are doing much, much better—Cassie’s gained almost six pounds, which shifts her BMI from the horrifically low fourteen-point-three to sixteen-point-seven. “Still underweight,” says Dr. Cho, examining Cho’s chart, “but better. So much better.”

Peter’s gained a respectable amount—around five pounds a week since he arrived—placing him at a solid hundred-and-one pounds, but he’s plateaued recently there, sometimes dropping below one hundred and then coming back up.

They’re barely on any meds anyway, focusing more on fluids than anything else. “Once he’s well enough,” says Cho, “then we can focus on that leg.”

Peter still needs at least another week in the Medbay—with the kind of starvation both he and Cassie endured, they still require twenty-four hour supervision to ensure they’re stable.

Bruce Banner shows up during the day with Thor at his side—they both look a little worse for wear, but they’ve apparently captured the guy—Flint Marko. They’re holding him up at the compound upstate. “He was a slippery one,” says Banner, looking a little green. “Thor finally got him with his hammer. Know what happens when sand’s hit by lightning?”

Pepper frowns at him. What does that matter—

Banner pulls out a large piece of glass from his satchel. “Glass,” he says. “It turns to glass.”

“How is Peter Parker?” says Thor.

“A lot better,” says Pepper. “He’s talking, even.”

The large man nods. “Good,” he says, in that booming voice.

The two of them show her video footage of the Sandman where they’re keeping him upstate—in some kind of electric jail cell up at the compound. Inside, there’s a man morphing and remorphing into sand, dressed in a striped-green tee and khaki pants, his brown hair buzzed short, his hair into a short peak at the top of his forehead. He’s holding one arm down at his side—maybe that’s the arm that was injured by Thor’s lightning strike—and with the other, he’s punching at the non-electric walls with sandlike fists, dipping into sand and then back to human, sand and back to human.

“Guy’s not going anywhere,” says Banner. “And according to him, there’s no one else going after any of the witnesses—just him.”

Pepper nods.

Banner’s gone in a matter of seconds—off to discuss science things with Helen Cho, Pepper thinks—but Thor remains. He walks with her in the hallway, Pepper taking a couple steps for every massive one of his. The god is no longer in his battle gear—no cape, no armor, no chainmail—just a hoodie and jeans, his face mostly bearded in brown scruff. “If there’s anything else you need, Pepper Potts,” he says, patting her firmly on the shoulder. “Or anything Peter Parker needs, you may call anytime. Stark knows how to contact me, yes?”

“Yeah,” she says, although she’s really not sure. “Thank you, Thor.”

He nods, and his face pulls into a grimace. She’s not used to seeing the god of thunder like this—worried. He scans her face, and he grimaces again. “I never met Peter Parker,” he says. “I was not in Germany for the battle, so I never encountered him, but from what Banner has told me… He was young. Good. A hero.”

“Still is,” she says softly.

“Of course,” he says quickly. “I did not mean—” The blond god drops his hand from her shoulder, shifting his hammer to the other hand to avoid some sense of awkwardness. “I am truly sorry for what happened to him. Such atrocities rarely occur on Asgard, and…”

She’s never seen him at such a loss for words.

“Nevertheless, I live on Midgard now. In…” The man waves his hand. “The Midgardians call it Norway. And if you, or Tony Stark, or Peter Parker… If you need help of any kind, you may reach me there. Yes?”

He’s grimacing again—he’s grown a beard, and one of his eyes has changed color, and she doesn’t think she even noticed. “Yes, thank you, yes…” she says, but she’s still thinking about the way Peter looked on that screen—how terrified he was.

Thor’s eyes drop to her swollen belly and back up to her face. They’ve reached the elevator now, and both of them turn around to carry on their steady pacing, walking back towards where they came. “And we have…excellent midwives in New Asgard, if you need…”

“I’m alright here,” Pepper says, and it hurts to see him look this guilty, “but thank you, Thor, really.”

The massive man nods, a confirmation, and his differently-colored eye glistens. “I am sorry,” he says, “truly. I do not have any children—but I have a younger brother, as you remember.”

Barely. The war of New York seems like an old fable at this point.

“He is the closest I would have to…” Thor gestures again, this time down the hall to Peter’s room. “...Peter Parker. And if anything happened to him, anything, I…” He shakes his head, and his dark brow turns to a frown, and then he stops walking.

Pepper stops in front of him.

“Pepper Potts,” he says, very firmly, facing her with his entire weight.

“Yes?” she says.

The god looks her very expressly in the eye, and his voice drops—low enough that they cannot be heard, and he places his broad, calloused hand on one shoulder. His hand is warm, and large enough that it dwarfs her entire shoulder. “I want you to understand,” Thor says, every word steadfast, solid as it leaves him, “I have killed for much, much less than these crimes. If you want me to eliminate Peter Parker’s attackers from Midgard, I will do so immediately. On Asgard, one would be put to death for such crimes; I will not hesitate to execute these people for what they have done.” He squeezes her shoulder then, a promise. “Do you wish me to?”

In fact, this is not the first time Pepper Potts has been asked this question. Bucky Barnes came to her, horrifically calm, his blue eyes barely even looking at her, and asked permission to kill the Stark Seven. Natasha Romanoff had done the same. So she tells Thor what she told the others. “Anything that happens to the Stark Seven,” she says, “from an Avenger will only blow back on Tony and Peter—I wish I could say yes, but… If anyone ever finds out, Tony could go to prison. You know how enhanced law is these days…”

Thor nods grimly. “I am aware of the legal battles you have faced here—the Sokovia Accords, the law of collateral damage… Several of the enhanced citizens of New Asgard have faced similar troubles in Norway.”

She nods. “Then you understand?”

“I do,” he says, and he’s nodding with that frown. “I am sorry I could not do more, Pepper Potts.”

“You’ve done more than enough,” she says, and the god of thunder smiles, weary, and drops his hand from her shoulder.

WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 12 — 10:49 AM

The next day, Sarah comes in to give Peter another mental test—those same four questions, and this time Peter’s voice is very quiet, tired, like he’s been asleep for a long time.

He sounds different. Sad. Exhausted. “Can you tell me what your name is?” asks Sarah, coming in a little closer.

Peter nods; he’s still holding Cassie to his chest. He’s doing so good—so responsive. Afraid, but responsive. “Peter,” he says.

With the way he’s been responding to his last name, with that head-twisting horror, Sarah only has him repeat his middle name.

“Benjamin,” he says, and his eyes drift down.

“Do you know where you are right now?”

“Medbay,” he says, eerily quiet.

There’s very little relief in him; Tony expected relief—gratitude—happiness, even. But he’s just…sitting there. Occasionally tears will come down his face without even a wrinkle, and the kid doesn’t even bother to wipe them away.

“Good,” says Sarah, “that’s exactly right—you’re doing great, just a couple more… Can you tell me what today’s date is?”

This one bothers him, and he takes this shuddery breath in. “Yeah,” he says, but he doesn’t answer the question.

“Peter?” Sarah prompts.

The kid looks up at her quick, like he’s afraid not to, and his eyes like hollow. “Four,” Peter says slowly, like he’s chewing on the word. “Five? Months?”

That’s not exactly the answer they were looking for, but it’s close. “Yeah,” says Sarah, gently, “almost five, Peter.”

Peters face twists then—his eyes are heavy with something—something dark. He goes out for a second, his eyes drifting to some spot beyond Tony’s shoulder, and Cassie pulls at his arm several times to bring him back. “Peter,” Sarah says again, “can you try telling me the today’s date?” Up on the wall behind them all is a calendar—there it is, flipped open to September. Nine days are crossed out—today, the tenth, and she moves her hand to point at it—

—Peter’s whole body moves suddenly, violently, twisting around Cassie, and both their wires get tangled in each other as he moves bodily around the girl.

With the split-open back of Peter’s hospital gown, everyone can see with some horror Charlie (and whoever else) left there—knife-lines and burns, rough patches from scrapes, curves from a whiplike wire, bony indents in his ribs, thicker curves from a belt.

His back was Cassie’s shield . Peter Parker, Cassie’s flesh-and-blood shield. Tony remembered how he slept before he was taken—on his side, sometimes, but usually on his back. Cassie Lang mentioned it a couple times—Peter always slept on his side in the bunker.

No wonder. Sleeping on his back, with wound after healing wound, scar after more wounds, scar tissue building up and retorn—sleeping on his back must’ve been excruciating.

His spine rolls down his back like something insectish, mottled exoskeleton. He’s so thin; Tony thinks of all the cans Riri gave him—he should’ve refused them. He should’ve refused them and given them to Peter.

Tony thinks he tried a couple times to give up his food for Peter, but they’d just refused or threatened to starve him out completely. So he’d eaten, reluctant, spooning mouthfuls of tasteless mush into his mouth until he was well enough to keep working.

It usually takes at least five minutes to drag Peter out of one of these—a panic made by movement, but with Cassie Lang, it lasts only seconds, her whispering and whispering to him and until at last he turns back to face them, still holding iron-tight to the little girl like someone’s about to rip her from his arms. He presses his lips to her head, kisses once, and she rubs his arm like trying to reassure him that she’s still there. He mutters something to her, and she to him, and then he’s awake again, looking between them, eyes focused as ever.

Sarah and Tony share a short glance; that was quick.

“One more time, Peter,” says Sarah, and his eyes drift towards hers, silent. “Can you tell me what day it is? The month, maybe?” This time only with her eyes, she glances up towards the calendar, as though to say, There. It’s right there.

The kid’s eyes go to it. “September,” he says finally, after an aching silence.

Sarah nods, smiling, and Peter quickly looks away from her, shifting his grip on Cassie so that she can turn around and see. “Good, that’s good.” She lets them be for a bit, another few minutes, until Cassie’s sitting beside him with her zebra, Peter’s casted arm around her shoulders to keep her close. “Just one last question, Peter, and then we’re done, is that okay?”

Peter’s staring at his other arm. The bare one—thin and uncasted, pale and ruined with scars, the worst of them the circle around his wrist. There, the flesh has healed into a layered circle of a scar—one that goes all the way around his wrist like a cuff, pinkish brown flesh worn over and over by restraints, now healed completely over.

“Peter?”

“You fixed it,” he says quietly, and the kid’s turning his wrist over and over, obsessed, his wrist slack from the relaxants. “It—it’s not…”

He doesn’t finish his comment, and Tony’s too busy marveling at the fact that Peter’s speaking in full sentences to realize what he’s actually saying.

He’s surprised that it’s healed.

Peter’s surprised that his wounds are fully healed.

“I’m sorry,” says Tony, because he is, and Peter looks up at him. “Oh, Peter,” he says, and the kid hides his face, letting his hair drift sideways across him and then circling his arms around his knees, bending his broken knee up with that hitch of pain like he usually does—

—but this time Cassie’s there beside him and she says, “Bad leg, Peter, bad leg, be nice to the bad leg,” and Peter just lets it go down.

He listens to her. She cares for him just like he cares for her, and he listens to her.

“Last question, Peter,” Sarah says, and the kid doesn’t even look up at her. “Can you tell me why you’re here?”

This time it takes only a minute or two for him to answer—Peter strokes his hand over Cassie’s bald head, incredibly gentle. “I was gone,” the kid says, very quietly. “For a long time.” And then his face twists hard, into something horrible, something knowing. “Five months.”

THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 13 — 4:00 PM

Yet again, Ross has to meet with Quentin Beck.

Everyone else has pleaded guilty—taken a proposed deal, limiting their sentences to life without the possibility of the death penalty. They know that if they go to trial, the possibility of being put down like dogs by the federal government is high, especially with the amount of dead bodies they’ve left behind: nearly a dozen of their crew members, a doctor, a well-loved vigilante, a police officer in the line of duty, several civilians including children… Six of the Stark Seven were smart enough to know when to surrender, including that idiot Charlie Keene, once he’d sobered up a little.

(Ross had met up with Keene after he’d gone through withdrawal, and the guy was a shell of his former self, refusing to look anyone in the eye. Sober, Charlie Keene was a cowardly little sh*t, wrapping his arms around himself and crying about the sister he killed during one of his manic highs. Julie, he’d sobbed, and then he’d started banging his head against the plexiglass between them. JULIE, JULIE, JULIE!

The prison guards had to strap him down and sedate him just to keep him from injuring himself—he was still missing one hand from injuries he got killing Scott Lang.

Ross doesn’t care about Keene or Keene’s cop sister or Keene’s missing hand—all he cares about is that Keene is pleading guilty. And he is.)

Everyone is pleading guilty. Everyone. Everyone but Quentin Beck.

Quentin f*cking Beck. Ross loves the guy, truly, but he’s such a goddamn pain in the ass. He’s still refusing to plead.

So Secretary Ross has one of his soldiers visit him in the prison and set up a video conference with the guy. He’s still set up in a prison hospital after some guy beat him half to death in custody—apparently, they found him in a pool of his own blood, so many ribs broken that his ribcage came apart, all of his teeth torn violently from his gums. Two fingers missing. One hand crushed. One shoulder dislocated, the other shattered, his mouth filled with bloody foam. His face so messed up that his eyes were swollen shut from the bruising.

The video is fuzzy, but there he is—in all his glory, one arm casted up and missing two fingers, his chest taut with bandages. His mouth is a f*cking mess, his lips and the surrounding area covered in small scars—as though scraped by something metal.

Ross can take a f*cking hint who did it—God, he should’ve put down that Winter Soldier when he had the chance. Should make one of his own, to be honest. Now, that’s a weapon.

“Quentin,” he says, as soon as the man comes in the screen, taking these wheezing breaths. Those ribs must still be cracked. He had to pay for a metal ribcage for this idiot. “How’s it going?”

“How’s it going?” gargles Quentin, his brown eyes flashing. “How’s it going?” The man has dentures now—they had to wait for the swelling to calm down, but now he’s got these fake-white teeth, perfectly lined up, that shine every time he speaks. his gums are still scabbed over from what happened. “How’s it going is you need to get me the f*ck out of here—“

“I’m working on it,” spits Ross.

“Work harder!” the man says, gesturing with his messed-up hand. “I wanna get the f*ck out of here—“

“You didn’t get bail,” Ross reminds him, “so I don’t know how you’re expecting me to crack you out of prison before the arraignment—“

“Figure it out!”

“I could if you hadn’t raped that kid in front of a little human girl—“

“I didn’t rape him!” Quentin glances very quickly out of frame, and then he returns to camera, bares his fake-white teeth, and hisses, “I didn’t. Rape him. He f*cking wanted it—you didn’t see him, he was f*cking pining for it, we made deals, I gave him sh*t—“

“I hate to break it to you, Q, but f*cking a kid locked in a cell is rape, man—“

“Oh, f*ck you, Ross, like you haven’t done worse—“

“Sure,” he snaps, “but I didn’t get f*cking caught!”

“Pay someone off,” he says, “pay the judge, the jury, whoever—“

“Quentin, this isn’t some f*cking state case that you can bury under the rug! This is a federal case held in federal court! The news is all over this, I can't be sneaking money around or I’m gonna go down, too!”

Quentin huffs and lays back in his hospital bed. “Ross,” he snarls, “I can’t believe I let you talk me into this. I knew it was a bad idea, and now I’m taking the fall for your crimes? And what the hell did I get?”

“Oh you got enough out of it,” Ross snaps. “You got paid, you got laid, you got your rocks off in front of a whole roomful of people—you had a good time and you know it. You’re here because you wanted to be. No one told you to rape Peter Parker—“

“I didn’t—“ he sighs. “Look, I thought the plan was we were gonna kill the kids, kill Stark, too, and get all the charges dropped—”

“Yeah, well, the plan’s changed.”

“I thought the Sandman was the best there is!”

“He is,” says Ross, sour, “but he’s going up against a goddamn Hulk and a Norse god—cut him some slack if he didn’t manage to best them.”

“Then hire someone else!”

Ross rolls his eyes. This guy. “At this point,” he says, “the case is already gonna go through. No matter who I send after Stark and the Parker kid, and Lang’s little girl—they’ve gotten all the evidence in, it’s all f*cking computerized, and they’re gonna go through with it no matter how many witnesses we have left.” He stares down at his phone—a series of messages, and he hopes at least one of them is from Quentin’s new lawyer. “If we kill them off now—it’ll look bad enough that they might follow the f*cking paper trail you left and find me. So no, we’re not sending anyone else after them.”

Quentin scowls at him. “So what’s the plan?”

“I’ve got a lawyer for you,” he says, rubbing his hand over his mustache. “You’re gonna do as he says, exactly as he says, and you’ll get off without the death penalty. That’s the f*cking plan.”

“I’m not pleading guilty,” says the man for the umpteenth time, cutting his messed-up hand through the air, “I’m not doing it—”

“You don’t have a choice,” he spits. “You have to.”

“Thad, don’t f*cking test me—”

“Look,” he says, “it’s not such a bad life, life imprisonment, they’re all getting it. Except for Riri WIlliams, that f*cking c*nt, she’s locked up in some maximum-security juvie, so I haven’t gotten to her—but the rest? I got them all moved to cushy places, minimum security—hotel living for the rest of their lives, and I've got guys on the inside that can get you anything you’d like—drugs, food, women, whatever.”

“I don't want women,” the man spits.

“Fine, boys, then,” he says, and Quentin just glowers at him. “Whatever you want. We’re friends , Quentin, I'm not gonna just throw you to the dogs.”

“Throwing me in prison is throwing me to the f*cking dogs, Thad!” he shouts, and his voice caves into this thready wheeze—must be his broken ribs. “I already lost two fingers and all my f*cking teeth—my ribs have gone to sh*t, too—and you want me to give up my f*cking freedom, too? f*ck you, man!”

Ross remembers, strangely, that Charlie Keene lost a hand when the Avengers arrived—one of Project Manticore’s weapons went off—and now, honestly, they match.

“I’m not pleading guilty, man, for the last goddamn time…”

“Fine,” Ross spits. “I got you a lawyer, so just calm down, alright? He should be coming around in the next couple days—he’ll brief you on the hearing, got it? Tell him what you want, and he’ll figure it out.”

Through the screen, Quentin bares those white teeth at him. “Who is it?”

Ross taps through a couple messages on his phone. “You know Oscorp? ”

“The law firm, of course” says Beck. “Oscorp LLP. What, you got me one of those?”

Ross nods. “The head lawyer there, the best there is—Norman Osborn.”

“The Green Goblin,” Beck says, a tone of slight awe in his voice, his words still overshadowed by blanket rage, “you got me the Green f*cking Goblin?”

Everyone called Norman Osborn the Green Goblin—it wasn’t the most pleasant of court nicknames, but Osborn wasn’t a pleasant man. Green for his telltale green suits, Goblin for his attitude, which usually consisted of tearing the other side apart.

“He’s the best there is,” Ross assures him. “He’ll get you off— as long as you listen, Beck, so don’t f*ck this up. I’m serious.”

Beck scowls at him. “Fine, whatever, but I want a prosthetic for my fingers,” he spits. “Something that moves, not that rubber sh*t. Something—something like the Winter Soldier has.”

Ross scoffs. “I’m not Stark, I can’t just whip up prosthetics out of my ass—”

I don’t want Stark’s f*cking tech!” he snarls, and his white teeth almost fly out of his mouth. ‘I want—a good—prosthetic, Thad. You f*cking owe me.”

“Fine,” he says. “Just listen to Osborn—he’ll help you, make sure you don’t get nailed down for this—and I’m paying him a f*ckton of money for this, so don’t f*ck this up, Q.”

“Fine,” the other man spits. “He better be f*cking good.”

“The best,” says Ross.

Notes:

here's some picrew things i made a while ago, it's just tony and cassie, thought it was fun to make idk they seem kinda dumb now but i kinda like them

cassie:

before bunker, early bunker, late bunker, medbay, future + healedish

and for tony, too: before, early, late, medbay, future

hope u guys r all having a good march, i think this is an early chapter, not sure ur getting one this upcoming tuesday, you might have to wait until the next one, sorry, at least till i get back to school

thanks for ur rly rly kind comments i rly appreciate it rly, it's rly nice to know u guys have my back, sometimes u know u feel like no one's there for u, and i'm honestly tearing up writing this cuz like i rly rly loved reading those messages and i needed to hear that thank u so much

lmk about any typos, ideas, suggestions, plot holes, whatever

thanks for being here

Chapter 42: gone away

Summary:

chap title from 'gone away' by safetysuit

cw: references to violence and torture obv, references to sexual abuse, sort of talk about consent, beck from outside pov lol

Notes:

yes i know today is not tuesday but i needed a distraction so this is it haha. so this is ur tuesday, happy tuesday, happy future tuesday

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 14 — 8:31 AM

Both psychiatrists have a meeting with the parents, as well as Dr. Cho. Tony and Pepper, Maggie and Jim Paxton.

“I need you all to understand that the extent of these kids’ trauma is much, much more than you could have ever predicted,” Sarah Wilson says. “You can’t be going around and wrecking their mental progress”—she looks pointedly at Jim— “because of your personal feelings about what happened. I need you to put them away for now, please.” The man’s still on JARVIS’ watchlist after the stunt he pulled on Monday—not allowed to go anywhere but the Medbay. “I understand that you all have been through a hell of a trauma—but you need to keep from projecting onto these kids. Get your own therapists, work through your own sh*t—because these kids are in no place to handle unstable parents, do you understand me?”

The Paxtons both nod, and Tony and Pepper follow. Maggie Paxton is writing most of this down in a small notebook; Tony is sitting there near entirely silent; Pepper’s writing text into her phone—notes of this meeting.

“What they need right now is stability. Predictability. That means mealtimes, medication times, sleeping hours, all of it. And yes, Mr. Paxton, they are staying together. Both Cassie and Peter have shown massive cognitive improvements since they were reunited—and I’m not giving it up because you feel uncomfortable. If we get any sign of violence, sexual abuse, anything—then we’ll pull them. Until then? We’re going to let them stay in the same room—the nurses have been informed, everyone has been informed, and we’re gonna keep the cameras inside for both of their safety.”

Beside Pepper, Tony shifts in his chair, and she watches as he folds his arm tight against his chest. She knows, she remembers—he’s not a big fan of cameras anymore.

“Currently, both children are still in the stage of what we call acute stress. One month after a trauma, if a patient is experiencing periods of extreme distress, mental confusion, that kind of thing—it’s acute stress disorder. They can get re-experience memories of the trauma, repeat behaviors performed during it, go quiet, have outbursts, anything. Both Peter and Cassie are poster children for acute stress disorder.”

Both children have done that daily since they arrived here.

“But by next week, we will have reached the end of that point,” she says. “Next Friday, we’re getting into the realm of PTSD—and honestly, it looks like we’re headed straight for it. Their symptoms aren’t going away—and that’s typical for survivors of extremely traumatic events, especially over such a long period of time.”

Alexis nods, and she adds, “This isn’t something Cassie or Peter will be able to shake easily, okay? So at this point, I don't want you talking to them about it. Not unless they bring it up first. No questions, no interrogations. Nothing. You can listen,” she says, nodding at both sets of parents, “but that’s it. Whatever you hear, just file it away for later. That's not what they need right now. Right now, we’re just trying to get them to adjust.

“Unfortunately, the problem with acute stress disorder is it’s not something that can be medicated. It’s just…the way that patients respond after an event like this.”

Sarah nods at her colleague. “We’re gonna try to get them a little more social, a little more mobile, maybe take a look outside, see if that might help. Both of them are still very afraid of hallways, doors, things like that, so we’re going to try to desensitize them to it.”

Alexis adds, "Just remember the focus, please. Stabilize. That's it."

Pepper nods. Beside her, Tony is making some kind of grimace. "Yeah," he whispers, agreeing.

She thinks Tony might need someone to talk to, too.

Truly, Peter’s doing much better now.

At the bare minimum, he’s talking more. Never more than a couple words at a time, but he’s doing it. Some actual responses, some echoes of what other people say, but he’s present, much more than he was a couple days ago.

He’s here—and he knows he’s here, a thought that sinks deep into him every few minutes, clear in the way he’ll just stop moving and stare off into nothing, look to Tony with this horrible mixture of exhaustion and humiliation before burying his face into his knees.

And now that he’s fully present—he doesn’t like anyone touching him. He's refused to be bathed, even dry-bathed with wipes. That morning, Nurse Kaelyn comes to Tony and says, “He won’t let us touch him with the sponge,” she says. “Usually he just…” She winces. “…lets us , but now we can’t get close enough, not with the girl around. We’ve skipped the last couple days—tried to give him some time to adjust, but I don’t want him getting infected, Mr. Stark.”

So Tony has to come to him, explain very carefully what’s happening. He’s become a proxy of some kind for the medical staff—and an assistant, too—the only one able to calm Peter down enough for them to do labwork, the only one able to explain to him what’s going on with Peter actually listening.

“You gotta let them help, bud,” he says. “They gotta wash you—

Peter just stares at the blanket. He does that a lot.

“You with me?”

The kid nods without looking at him, his eyes still trained on the blanket. He’s sitting in the middle of the bed; Cassie and her mother are playing quietly on the floor, wiggling a stuffed zebra over the hospital-white tile.

“You don’t have to explain why ,” Tony starts, “but you have to let them wash you. We don’t want anything getting infected, especially with your central line—that thing there on your shoulder? You’re better, but you’re not well enough to go without bathing, bud. It’s gotta happen.”

And then Peter says, in this horrible croaky voice, those dull eyes flicking up to Tony’s face, “I have to.”

The pit of horror in Tony’s stomach liquifies and rehardens. “No,” he says quickly, “no, buddy, of course not.” He thinks about his language, the you gotta and you have to and his stomach just sinks. The way Peter just said that, like he had no choice, the way he just moved his body like he was giving up. “You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do.”

Peter’s stare goes sideways again, drifting over Tony’s shoulder.

“This is,” he adds, “just about, like, cleanliness, we’re just trying to keep you from getting infected…”

Tony feels someone looking at him and realizes he can’t hear the little girl playing anymore. When he turns, Cassie Lang’s eyes are trained on him. One hand on a stuffed toy, the other slack at her side. “Is he coming?” she whispers, and it’s clear the question is directed at Peter, but the kid doesn’t answer.

“Is who—“ Tony cuts himself off. No talking about what happened. Normalize. Stabilize.

Luckily, Maggie Paxton’s already taking over, reassuring her that no one’s coming, it’s just them, without knowing who the kids are even talking about.

Peter doesn’t get along with the nurses, even now with their white coats. When Nurse Kaelyn comes in to give him his meds—injecting them straight into the tubing of his central line—Peter cowers away from her.

When she speaks, then, he nods and nods and whispers, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” and every time she says something else and tries to move towards him, he just backs away from her. “Just let her help, Peter,” says Tony, trying to comfort him. “She's just here to help.”

“I don't know,” he whispers, and he glances up at her for just a second, “I don't know…”

And so Nurse Kaelyn waits and waits, and eventually he calms, poking his arm out, and he just closes his eyes as it happens, and he just dips out a little bit, going still and quiet long after Kaelyn is gone, and Tony stays by his side.

FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 14 — 1:27 PM

Peter remembers where he is, and he tries to breathe.

It’s so hard to stay awake, hard to stay here in this room.

He feels like he’s skin is on fire, like Charlie’s lurking around every corner—HE’S THERE—HE’S ALWAYS THERE HE’S ALWAYS GONNA CATCH YOU—

And then he just goes away in a haze of terror and bloodsoaked horror until he feels a pressure at his hand, and he comes to, and there’s Cassie beside him, looking at him with those eyes, saying, It’s okay. We’re in a good place now. Mommy’s here.

She’s more there, more grounded than him—she’s even learned to peek out into the hallway to check if anybody’s there, which sends such a sheet of terror over Peter that he always grabs her back from the door, throwing her bodily backwards, guarding her against the wall until his vision refocused into something other than shadows and color—faces coming into perspective. Tony’s usually there, often with that blonde woman, but sometimes Dr. Cho, who he sometimes remembers—black-haired, Korean, hair back in a ponytail, white coat, always worried.

His spidey-sense is f*cking fire—it’s like gasoline in his mind. the it’s all over the place, constantly screaming danger danger danger, and he doesn’t have a second to think, he just braces himself and braces himself and he can hear his heart rapid-drumming in his ears, and WAITS FOR THE HIT TO COME—

This room. It’s—it’s the Medbay. He remembers—he remembers the Medbay. Laying in this bed, waking up to Tony’s face over his saying, Whoa, there, cowboy, lay back before you give yourself another concussion.

This room —it feels like the bunker painted white, feels like him and Cassie’s room but it’s not, and he’s so f*cking confused…. Everything feels wrong. Everything feels wrong. Everything feels weird and wrong and Peter’s terrified, always terrified…

Maybe he cracked. Maybe he finally, finally cracked. Maybe Charlie cracked his brain open with hammer and is letting him spill out bloody onto the chair—THE CHAIR THE CHAIR OH GOD THE CHAIR—and all this is his mind in the two seconds before he dies, flashing and spiraling and twisting into that final light, the universe finally giving Peter what he wants most—painlessness, peace, home: the Medbay.

This is real, but it—it isn’t real. This isn’t real, this can’t possibly be real. Peter knows this isn’t real and yet he can smell the room, and he can see Tony in front of him and he’s just seeing these white walls covered in his old kid posters.

(He’s not a kid anymore. Peter stopped being a kid the moment the bunker door closed behind him.)

“Hey,” Tony whispers, “you with me?”

Peter stares at him. He looks at his face drinking it in: the man looks different. Mr. Stark used to always look so immaculate, his beard perfectly shaven, his brown eyes always sparkling with something mischievous. Now he’s something different—a dream Tony, not real Tony, something haunting him. Maybe he’s staring at Charlie. Maybe he’s strapped to the chair now and he’s just staring at Charlie.

Charlie’s brown eyes and brown beard—his wild eyes, his wild, wild eyes, that would focus on him for a split second before he moved— Charlie licked his teeth and sweat slid down his forehead, and his eyes bugged wide enough that the white rims circled his irises like something liquid, and he opened his mouth—snarling, his teeth rotted away, he’s high he’s high and he’s always worse when he’s high—LISTEN TO HIM CRY, LISTEN TO HIM CRY FOR YOU, STARK! THIS IS ON YOU! THIS IS ALL ON YOU, HA—WANNA HEAR HIM SCREAM? SPIDER-BABY SCREAMS SO GOOD FOR ME—GIVE ME THE KNIFE—NO, THAT ONE—YES! LOOK—A FREE SPOT, A GOOD SPOT, SO CLEAN—LOOK AT IT PARKER—I’M GONNA f*ck IT UP GOOD—TAKE ONE LAST LOOK BEFORE IT GOES—

“Pete,” he says. “Pete—buddy, stay outta that head of yours, okay? I know it’s not a nice place right now, and I… I don’t wanna lose you again.”

Peter keeps trying to remember— how did he get here? He has no sense of time, none at all—the more he remembers, the more the timeline gets all f*cked up in his head, a tangled whirlwind of thoughts and glimpses of memory.

“Peter,” Tony says again, and he blinks hard, trying to ground himself—bed, his bed. His blankets. “Stay with me, bud.”

He can feel his hair go sticky across his face—oily and unwashed, and he touches it. Cassie used to braid it, but then they got tired. They got scared, and they got tired, and they gave up on ever leaving. He whispers his name again, and it makes him feel like he’s here. Sitting in this Medbay bed. His bed. This blanket, this blanket… “Hi,” he says.

The man’s face breaks into this worried smile. “Hey, buddy. You okay?”

You okay? You okay? Peter hasn’t been okay in a long time. He hasn’t felt good in a long time.

“Sorry,” he says quietly, “stupid question.”

Peter’s busy staring at all the wrinkles in his face. He didn’t used to have that many wrinkles. And the gray. The gray hair frays through his beard and speckles over his head, highlighting that hair that used to be perfectly black.

Tony’s a dream. Not a dream. Not a dream. Not a dream, because this feels too real. Stupid Peter, stupid Parker, just a stupid f*cking freak, a piece of meat for charlie to carve his knife into, you’re nothing you’re nothing YOURE NOTHING— SAY IT! YOU’RE NOTHING! YOU’RE NOTHING BUT A FAILSAFE, MY FAILSAFE— failsafe, failsafe, Peter’s nothing, just a failsafe, just a stupid f*cking failsafe—

“A what?” asks Tony.

Peter jerks his head back to Tony. He keeps forgetting he’s there, sitting beside him, waiting for him to speak again. “Sorry,” he whispers, and the man just shakes his head and whispers softly, “It’s okay.

The phrase hollows out in his mind, like he’s staring into the wishy-washy pool of milk at the bottom of a cereal bowl, watching it morph and swirl: it’s okay, it’s okay, it’s okay, it’s okay… And the words sound good, taste good, and he drinks them in: it’s okay, it’s okay, it’s okay…

Peter tries to think, and he can’t even remember that first day, can’t remember ever meeting Cassie for the first time. He can’t remember, even, the moment when Charlie took that hammer to his knee. It seems like an ever-present pain, something that he’s had forever—could he ever really walk? Could he ever really run? Cassie, too. He can’t remember not knowing her—her and May and Tony and Pepper—it all gets mixed up, hiding under the bed and eating pad thai with May and playing on the cement floor with Happy Meal toys and doing Lego with Ned and braiding Cassie’s hair. Taking a chemistry exam. Writing numbers on the walls to figure out the code. Laying in the Medbay after a bad patrol. Laying on their cement bed waiting for the next injection of sedative. It’s all the same. And it’s all covered in this blanket sense of unease—something’s wrong,something’s wrong, you’re not safe, you’re not safe, YOU’RE NEVER SAFE HERE—YOU’RE GONNA DIE HERE—

“Think I’m losing you again,” he says. “Right, buddy?”

He finds himself in the bed again, drags his eyes up to Tony, and he nods—that’s what he wanted? A yes? He doesn’t really remember what the question was, but he wasn’t angry. It was… Was he angry with him? Tony’s never truly angry with him, not Charlie-angry, not Beck-angry, not even Mason or Jon kind of angry…

Peter touches his hair again, drags his hand through it like the ends of a knitted blanket, and it snags around his fingers.

“...but maybe we can try something?” Tony is saying; he has a beard. His beard looks strange, full, like he’s been living in the wilderness. A long time ago, a really long time ago, Peter used to watch Survivor with May; it was their favorite show. For some people, it took a couple weeks to grow a beard like that—for others, a couple months.

He supposes, for Tony Stark, it took five.

“We could, um. listen to some music, or. Sarah—you remember Sarah?—she brought some pencils and things, we could…” He swallows. “I know there’s a lot of things you don’t…like anymore, but I figured it might help…” He’s got something in his hands, and for a second Peter’s mind sees a thousand things—a knife, a blowtorch, a hammer, A WRENCH, A SCALPEL, A NEEDLE, A WIRE—

And it’s moved away, and it’s out of sight, and the air comes out of him in a shaky rush, and Tony says, “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I moved too fast—I shouldn't have moved like that. I'm sorry.”

Peter slowly, slowly calms, drawing that blanket tighter around herself, and looks down on the floor where Cassie is playing with her mother. Cassie's mother is easy to remember—Peter has imagined her a thousand times, and she’s just as Cassie described: the blonde hair, pointed nose, freckled face that Cassie shares. She looks so much like Cassie, and she moves slowly, and Cassie is so happy with her. That’s easy to remember. She's safe.

Cassie's safe, the door is closed, and Peter's belly is full. He's not there anymore, Charlie is in prison with everyone else, and Peter is in the Medbay at Avengers Tower and Tony is here beside him. And he’s safe.

That’s what Tony keeps saying. He’s safe, he’s safe, he’s safe.

“I just, I brought something…” Tony presses his hand to his forehead. “It’s not… God, how am I supposed to—look, how about this, you don’t have to do anything for it, okay? It was a gift… but it’s nothing bad. I promise it’s good. I… I don't know how to give this to you. Like Christmas or something, okay? It’s free. It’s all yours.”

YOURS—yours, and he thinks he might’ve said it out loud because he feels the remnants of the word in his mouth. Peter says it again, he whispers, he echoes, trying to latch on to something because he can feel himself going away again. Yours, yours, yours—YOURS, YOURS, IT’S YOURS—

“No, not mine…” He rubs his forehead. “Yours. Peter’s. Not Tony’s. Just… you don’t have to do anything for it, I just wanted to show you, okay?”

SHOW YOU—I JUST WANT TO SHOW YOU SOMETHING, PETEY, YOU WANNA TAKE A LOOK, COME ON—YOU LIKE WHAT YOU SEE?—SAY IT, SAY YOU LIKE IT—SAY IT—

“Okay, bad lingo, I got it, I said something wrong, okay, I won’t say it again—it’s just me, just me, buddy, just Tony. Mr. Stark. Just me. Look at me, Pete, it’s just me.”

Beyond the haze of his spidey-sense screaming holy hell, he sees a man—pressing his hand to his chest, to that blue circle in his chest, and something in Peter calms, softens, like butter warming on a kitchen counter. JUST ME—just me, just me, just me… he can feel his mind begin to cool, to settle, and the sick spiral of thoughts begin to settle, and there’s Tony in front of him, holding his hand gentle and flat against his own chest, his hand glowing slightly blue atop the circular thing in the center of his chest..

“Uh… okay. Lemme try again, um. You remember how you used to love Star Wars? Still, I guess? You still like Star Wars, right?”

He looks up at Tony. He finds himself nodding.

“Great, great—um, so I got a…a… Star Wars thing for you. And well, your friend Ned, he’s, uh, he’s pretty worried about you, you know, and he keeps leaving all these Lego kits in the lobby, he’s taken all his apart and boxed ‘em up and left' em for you at the front desk. Labeled them, even chronologically. By movie. So I thought you might wanna…”

Somehow the rush of speech, the tangle of words all coming from Tony seem to make more sense than anything he’s heard in the past few days, and Peter finds himself loosening a bit, the tension in his shoulders turning soft. “Ned,” he says.

“Yeah, Ned, your friend, your best friend, your guy in the chair? You remember him, right? It’s his, really, he wanted to give it to you, so it’s not mine at all, I'm just the messenger. You want it?”

Peter’s mind stirs with memory, and he just stares down at the box. Blue. Legos.

Slowly, Tony pries open the box, removing the small strip of scotch tape holding it together— that’s Ned’s handwriting there, he remembers, he remembers, Ned his best friend, Ned his guy in the chair— and opens it, and there’s something in his lap. A tray. Slow, cautious, he shakes the Legos out into the tray, and that spill of sound—Peter isn’t afraid. He… He remembers that sound.

He flinches at the first click of the pieces together, but after the second and the third, the consistent sounds—he’s remembering, and he’s calming, and he’s just watching Tony work. Peter just curls his knees up to his chest and watches him. And watches him and watches him, and his breathing evens out.

There’s a couple mini-figures spilled out onto the tray, too. A blond guy with a blue lightsaber, a bearish creature, a brunette in a white dress, another guy in a tan-and-brown outfit.

Peter extends his fingers towards it, and then immediately pulls them back.

These are Ned’s—they’re Ned’s, Ned and him did this together. He remembers building this with him, playing orchestral soundtracks in the background. His Lola brought them snacks and scolded them for not sleeping—because they stayed up all night making it.

It’s slow, and it’s beautiful, and the sounds are so f*cking familiar that it draws our some kind of ache from inside him. “Oh,” he says softly, as Tony’s clicking together a flat piece to a small one.

Tony smiles but he doesn’t look up. Beck would’ve looked up. Beck would’ve inched closer and closer and put his hand on Peter’s neck to make sure he didn’t move. Beck would’ve said, You give and you get, right, Petey? and asked him for more.

But Tony… Tony’s movements are steady and steady and steady, like an old machine, like a black-and-white television, like a typewriter. He clicks together piece after piece, glancing down at the instructions, and Peter wants to do it. He wants the stupid Lego set—he wants to touch it—he wants it so bad—but if he takes it he doesn’t know what will happen. Nothing? Something? He feels like something will happen. Something horrible.

But Tony's not moving, and the sounds of those plastic pieces are steady, going click, click, click, and Peter’s not going to touch those Legos—so he just watches. He watches Tony work, and he feels like he’s home again.

SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 15 — 12:06 PM

Sarah Wilson is only working at Avengers Tower for one reason—to help Peter Parker and Cassie Lang readjust to their lives after a horrific trauma.

But somehow, on Saturday afternoon, Sarah finds a certain blond supersoldier standing in her office doorway.

She got the office a couple weeks back when she first arrived—it’s nothing like her usual office, much more high-tech and so high in the air that you can’t see anything but fog out her window. Her door’s always open, of course, propped open with a stack of old psychiatric textbooks, but no one unexpected has truly ever walked inside.

Yet Steve Rogers just did. Well, not walked in per say, but he’s lingering in the doorway now, sneakers settled awkwardly on that line, glancing inside. He’s dressed casually, in a blue hoodie and jeans, and he’s got on a warm knit hat. “You’re Sam’s sister,” he says.

“That’s right,” she says.

“He’s a good guy,” he says.

“Sure is.”

“You’ve got kids,” he says, glancing again around the office like he’s expecting to find a supervillain lurking around. “I think I, uh, met them once. Sam brought them to a, uh, Avengers thing outside of Boston. They were pretty thrilled.”

Sarah smiles. She remembers. “They're big Captain America fans,” she said, and she immediately regrets it because the man takes a step towards the door. “But you’re not here to talk about my kids, are you?”

The man looks at her, squints a little, and then glances out the window—down eighty-some stories is the street.

“They gave you an office,” he says, ignoring her question.

“Yeah,” she says. “They figured I’d be here for a while, so…”

“You’re here for Peter,” he says. “I’ve seen you, you know, coming in and out of there.”

She nods. “I’m not generally supposed to speak about my patients,” Sarah says.

“Right. Yeah. Sorry.” And the man just nods and shoves his hands into his pockets. He’s remarkably demure for someone with such body mass—from afar, everything about him screams buff and brawn, but he moves as though he’s much smaller, ducking his head a little, soft-spoken. He moves through the room and to the couch, where he picks up a magazine from the coffee table, flipping through it. “It’s a nice office,” he says

She nods again, scanning the man. “They let me pick it out,” she says softly—she’s trying to get a read on him, but it’s difficult—he wants something. Sarah looks up at him, the man is incredibly tense. “You wanna sit down?” she asks.

Steve shakes his head, and he makes a small face, wrinkling his nose. “Not really a shrink person,” he says, but he doesn’t leave the room. “I was just, um,” he says, “wondering about some things.”

Sarah stays seated at her desk—she has a feeling that if she gets up, that the guy’s going to bolt.

“It’s been a few weeks since this thing happened, and I…” He swallows. “I was just wondering how long it takes, to, you know… Uh, forget about it.”

A few weeks—she can guess what thing he’s referring to, but she’s trying to put on her psychiatrist hat instead of her Avengers one. “What kind of thing?” she asks gently, and Steve glances towards the door again.

“Uh,” he says. And the man moves again, pacing through the room, plucking a stress ball out of the basket on the coffee table, putting it down on the shelf, peering down at the small fountain in the corner. “Lotta stuff here,” he says. Sarah nods again, watching the man as he moves, finding distraction after distraction. That’s what they’re there for, after all. Steve picks up a magazine, flips through it, and sets it down again. “And it’s all…for…”

“For my clients,” she finishes. “Yep.”

“And is it, uh…” He swallows. “....confidential? When you…”

“If you want it to be,” she says.

And he makes a humming sound, moving again through the room, picking up that stress ball from where he left it and dropping it back into the basket, shuffling over to the window with his hands in his pockets and attempting to peer through the fog.

So finally Sarah says, “Steve?”

He makes a hm? sound.

“You wanna sit down?”

SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 15 — 2:41 PM

At a prison hospital in New Hampshire, there is a dangerous patient on the top floor who all the nurses are warned about. As per police request, he is only allowed to have male medical staff above the age of thirty—and he is not allowed any reading material, any trinkets, any tech, any visitors, anything. And at all times, this man has two prison guards standing outside of his room, and occasionally one on the inside.

They aren’t allowed to know his name, but they all know what he did. They’ve heard him scream about it on his court-appointed phone calls, heard him mumble to himself, heard him curse about it to the ceiling. They know that he’s a registered sex offender, that he has a history of this behavior, mostly with young males, and that someone came and took their revenge on him—that’s why he’s been beaten nearly to death.

They all agree—he deserves much, much worse.

And on Saturday afternoon, a man comes to the top floor and requests to see this man. He introduces himself as Norman Osborn, a name that several of the nurses freeze at. He is a strange-looking man, with high cheekbones and intense eyes. His face is taut and clean of wrinkles, as though from years of plastic surgery, and his grin is something haunting. A sweep of brown hair tops his perfect smile. He’s dressed in a silk-blend, forest-green suit and a black button-up.

“I’m sorry, Mr. Osborn,” says one of the doctors, glancing at the nurses for help. “But we’ve been specifically instructed to deny him any visitors—”

“I am his lawyer,” he says, “so I assure you, he’s allowed to have one.” He grins—although it is not a situation conducive to grins and smiles, so it only serves to draw the medical staff into further unease.

“Mr. Osborn—”

“You will not like,” Osborn says, very coolly, with that same chilling smile, “the havoc I will wreak if you do not let me in to see my client.”

So the doctor speaks to the prison guards, and the prison guards speak to the police, and the police speak to the sergeant.

And then the dangerous man is allowed to have his visitor.

Notes:

lmk if i make typos or if you have ideas/suggestions/need to tell me i f*cked something up

also if anyone has any law experience/can answer weird law questions, that would be very helpful for me haha cuz the internet does not help, how do ppl actually going thru this even know ANYthing like jEsus cHRIst

thanks for all ur love and support haha i love u guys so much, will get aroudn to responding to comments eventually lol

we're like super close to 50k hits that's so f*cking cool

Chapter 43: wake up

Notes:

tbh i'm a little drunk and ths seems fine so here u go , wrote this ealrier, have more but still need to proofread, lmk if it has typos sorry its a little late, there's a good flash back scne i might give in a coupel days who knows, love u all, sorry sorry sorry love uall <3<#<3<3

Chapter Text

SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 15 — 4:10 PM

Norman Osborn created Oscorp LLP nearly a decade ago, shortly after his wife died. If the world vowed that Norman would be unhappy, then he wouldn’t be happy—but he would be powerful. Rich. Respected. Feared.

So alongside several attorneys just as ruthless as he was, Norman Osborn founded the largest law firm in New York, a major international law firm that people knew across the globe. It rose quickly, as he and the other founders weren’t focused on morality or on justice—but on money. And now it has dozens of office all around the world, makes billions of dollars annually, and employs thousands of attorneys. And it’s his. All his.

Norman likes money. Money is power. And Thaddeus Ross—he sure has a lot of it. And Norman thinks that Quentin Beck is a idiot with anger issues, Norman’s getting paid.

And Quentin Beck looks like sh*t.

Believe it or not, Norman Osborn has been Quentin Beck’s lawyer before, before Oscorp—a sex crime case where Beck got off scot-free. A teenage boy, if he remembers correctly. Fourteen, fifteen, something like that. There've been a couple more since then, according to Beck’s file. An incident at Stark Industries with a middle school program. Another incident at a workplace after that. And finally one that got him registered as a sex offender.

Funny how things like this work out.

So here they are again, ten years later, and Beck’s in the exact same spot, just with a torn-up face and handcuffed to a hospital bed instead of to a table in a police station.

“Beck,” Norman says, stepping into the hospital room.

“Osborn.”

“Good to see you again.”

Beck flexes his wrist against the cuffs, wiggling them, the chains clunking. “Can’t say the same.”

“Hm.” Norman gets out his equipment: tape recorder, laptop, Beck’s file. “Thought you were going to disappear after that last kid.”

Beck licks his teeth. They’re ice-white, hauntingly so, like someone carved them out of plaster. “That was the plan.”

“And now you’re registered?”

Beck glares at him. “Haven’t you read my file?”

Norman raises his brow in affirmation, as though to say: Sure did. And it spoke for itself. “Can’t be within five hundred feet of a school, can’t work with kids, can’t be within two hundred feet of a Stark Industries building, that’s an interesting one—“”

“The kid there was a f*cking tease,” he said. “Overreacted, got security f*cking called on me, that little bitch.”

“How old was that one?” Norman’s already seen the file, but it’s fun—this game—and he wants to hear Beck say it so he knows how much sh*t he’s in.

Beck growls, “Fourteen.”

“Right,” says Norman, typing on his laptop. “So, at least three official reports of sex crimes against minors—“

“Only one stuck,” he snaps.

Right. This one here, the most recent one—2017, caught with a fifteen-year-old prostitute—paid a fine, did no time, required to register, probation for a year, no other issues.

“Is that why you needed the new job? From our…mutual friend?”

“Obviously,” he snaps. “I’ve been out of work since they put me on the f*cking registry.”

Norman raises his brow, “Doesn’t look good for you, Beck.”

He scoffs. “Don’t you think I f*cking know that?”

“Not enough to plead guilty, apparently.”

The man’s eyes flash, and he slaps the pen out of Osborn’s hand. “I already told him—I’m not pleading.”

Calmly, Osborn picks it back up. “Careful, Beck,” he says. “Not a lot of people on your side anymore.”

A nurse opens the door. An older woman, bigger with grayed roots. Scrubs. She moves to the side of the bed without a word. “Did they tell you?” Beck laughs. “They’ve got me under lock and key. Won’t let anyone under thirty work my room—like I’m a f*cking serial killer. Like, I’m not Dahmer, there’s no need to treat me like a criminal.

The nurse’s eyes flick up to Beck—a flash of something—and then back down, where she’s opening a drawer, pulling out plastic-bagged syringes and tubing.

“What are you doing this time?” he asks.

“Bandage change,” she says rigidly. She takes his arm, and he jerks it against the cuffs, away from her.

“Not again,” he said, “They changed it out an hour ago, bitch.”

“It’s looking a little infected,” she says coldly. “Gotta change it.”

Norman looks down at his hand. Not a spot of redness, not even a glimpse of pus or swelling.

She takes his hand, unwrapping and unwrapping and then she presses her thumb down into the open wound. “Ow!” he snaps. “Watch it!”

She holds his arm fast, though, and with Beck under some mild sedatives and handcuffed to the bed, this woman’s got his hand held tight. “Just checking for tenderness,” she says, with that same coldness. “Be still.”

Beck bares those white teeth.

She presses down again, in that same hand, pressing into the sutures— “Gah! f*ck you!”

“Have to check for infection.” That nurse looks impassive, and she keeps going. “More antibiotics,” she says. She sticks Beck’s hand with several syringes, each movement harsh, and at each one he winces. Then she rewraps his hand, in violent jerks of cloth— “Ow! God, you bitch!” and tapes it down flat.

Then the nurse snaps off her gloves, gives one hard look to Beck, then to Norman, and then leaves as quick as she came.

Norman clears his throat and continues, “I’ve gone through the evidence—they’ve got a lot on you, Beck.”

“I’m aware,” the man says.

“And your phone, too,” he says. “How the hell did they get your phone?”

Beck grumbles to himself, something unintelligible.

“You weren’t using a burner?”

He shrugs. “Ro—uh, our friend kept telling me to, and I…just never switched.”

He shakes his head. This moron.

“I thought we wouldn’t get caught!”

So not only is Beck dangerous, but he’s delusional. When your employees are a bunch of dopeheads and tweakers, you’re gonna get caught. “Well, you have been. And I’m telling you that you have to plead guilty. You will never, ever win a case against this boy.”

Beck huffs through his scarred mouth, shifting again, that handcuff clinking.

“I’m serious, Beck. Do you know how much evidence they have piled against you? You f*cked the kid so much that they’re considering charges of sex trafficking, Beck. Sex trafficking.”

Beck smiles. “I don’t have to win,” he says. “Kid’s f*cking enhanced. Law of collateral. If we can get him to drop the charges, then I’m good to go. They’ve got me on—what, racketeering? We can whittle that one down to a year, less.”

“War of attrition,” echoes Osborn. Beck wants to go to court—until Peter Parker is too mentally exhausted to stand trial.

“Yep,” says Beck, looking smug. “Have you met the kid? He’s about as emotionally stable as a hooker in church. We ask him a couple questions—shake him up a bit—and he drops the charges.”

“You wanna wear him down. That’s… Beck—that’s not such a bad idea. Get the kid so fired up on the stand that he goes wild, breaks down—”

Beck nods, grinning. “Or perjures himself.”

“And either he or the courts will drop the charges.” Osborn nods. “This is good, Beck. This is really good.”

SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 16 — 10:39 AM

They’ve come up with a knocking system for Peter’s door, and that seems to help. Announce who’s coming in, wait for a response, and then slowly enter before closing the door behind them.

And now Pepper knocks patiently, hears a voice on the other side, and then enters. Tony is talking to Peter—there are some sheets of paper on the bed, a coloring book and an array of crayons. Cassie’s got several of them on the floor and is making a drawing of a large man—Peter is holding a crayon and not doing anything with it, blinking down at the paper. “Hey,” she says.

Tony turns a little to face her. “Hey,” he says, almost surprised.

They’ve been spending less and less time together since Peter got better. She understands, of course, but still. “I’ve got a, uh. Appointment.”

“Appointment,” he says. “Oh.”

“Yeah,” she says. “Not here—a hospital a couple blocks down. There’s a good obstetrician there. Delivered, uh, Clint’s kids.”

“I forgot,” he says quietly, glancing down. “How did I…”

“You’ve got a lot on your mind,” she says, her eyes flicking to Peter and back. The kid still looks rough. She doesn’t know why she thought he’d just heal up quickly, be back to his normal self in a week or two—the kid’s not gonna look like himself ever again. His scars are vicious and darker than the rest of him, marring most of his open skin. Maybe Cho could put him in that cradle of hers, regenerate some of his skin. His bruising had disappeared, but it only served to make Peter even paler, disappearing among his white sheets. He’s still skinny, an anorexic gauntness to him, his hair long like an addict’s.

(She hates to think it, she does, but Peter was an addict. Temporarily. They’d had to wean him off those supersoldier sedatives. He’d gone through withdrawal.)

“I get it if you don’t want to—“”

“I want to,” he says. “I just…”

Right. Peter.

On the floor, Maggie Paxton says, “I’ll be here. They’ll be fine for a couple hours—go.”

So Tony says some things to Peter—but the kid’s gone into one of his dissociative states, blinking wearily at them both without responding, still holding that crayon in his mutilated hand. Tony murmurs a couple more things to him, and Peter nods a little, swaying where he sits, staring down at the crayon in his hand like he’s never seen one before.

And then Tony stands up and comes with her.

They’re less worried about this witness killer now that the Sandman is locked up, but they’re still enormously careful. Happy drives the SUV with the tinted windows, and Rhodey tags along as extra protection, dressed in a smaller version of his War Machine suit.

Dr. Cho gives him a cane for the walking portion, but there’s not much of it. They take an elevator straight through—a back elevator that Pepper somehow has access to. Near the top floor: the obstetrician’s office.

The doctor there is a bald man with a mustache, middle-aged with a pleasant demeanor. “You missed your last appointment,” the doctor says. “You okay? How’s our little fighter?”

Pepper nods, feeling more relaxed now that she’s here. “Good,” she says. “We’re good.”

“Any new symptoms? Is the nausea a bit better?”

They do this for a while, back and forth, mentioning things that Tony hasn’t even thought about in a long time. Braxton-Hicks. Morning sickness. Heartburn.

Soon, the doctor introduces himself to Tony, too, as Dr. Kapoor, speaking to him like he would any father in a doctor’s office.

Tony realizes then with shocking clarity: this guy doesn’t know who he is. Pepper Potts hasn’t been seen with Tony Stark in months. With his hair and beard long, he’sunrecognizable. He’s just a guy who forgot to shave. “Hi,” he says, and the doctor does a double take. His voice must’ve given him away.

Dr. Kapoor clearly is not interested in the fame or reputation of either of them, because he quickly helps Pepper onto the table and fetches the ultrasound specialist for the procedure.

The doctor puts some more goo on Pepper’s belly, spreading it. The procedure is quick, the specialist pulling up a black-and-white image of her belly—and there it is, settled sideways in her belly, its little legs curled up, its head round. It’s moving, too, pushing its arms against its face, squirming like it’s uncomfortable. When she looks over at Tony, his face is completely slack, his eyes wide with this saddened awe, his hands still at his sides. He looks like he wants to touch the screen, like he wants to bury himself in the ultrasound.

“It’s about three pounds now,” says the doctor. “Looks perfectly healthy, tests have all come back perfect.”

Good. Healthy. Everything’s good.

“And the sex? You still want to wait?”

Pepper falters then, still lying on her back with the goo spread shiny across her pregnant belly. “Uh,” she says, and then she swallows, turning a bit so she can meet Tony’s eyes. “Do you want to know?”

He blinks at her. “I thought you were…waiting.”

“I was,” she says. “I don’t know why, but… It feels a little better. With you here.”

Tony sits down then in the chair; his leg is twitching. The cane is propped up beside him, and that blue circle in his chest glows faintly. “You wanna know?” he asks.

“Yeah,” she says. “I do.”

“Okay,” Tony says, squinting a little at her, strangely disbelieving. “Then yeah, I do, too.”.

They spend some time after the procedure in the room as Pepper redresses, wiping the goo from her stomach and readjusting her shirt.

“I spent a long time really angry with you,” she says quietly, rebuttoning her top. “And I know it’s not your fault, it’s just…hard…to let go.”

“I’m sorry,” he says.

But Pepper just shakes her head. “You have nothing to apologize for. You didn’t… Charlie Keene did this. I should be blaming him—but in my head, I just—I default, I don’t know. I keep forgetting, and blaming you. And now you have Peter, so…”

“Pepper—“ he tries.

She sniffles. “It’s just—I thought I was going to have to do this alone. My baby, your baby, all alone, Tony. I have spent so much of this pregnancy, since I found out, really, believing that you abandoned me because you wanted to.” She winces, and now she’s putting on her shoes, fitting her loafers over her feet and adjusting them. Her ankles are a little swollen. “And I don’t know about together,” she says, “but I’m gonna have this baby, and I'm gonna have this baby here, at the Tower, Tony. and I… You know me. I’m all or nothing, and when you hit me…”

“I’m sorry,” he says, the words automatic at this point.

“…I know,” she says, “and it’s okay, sweetheart, just… It’s not easy to let go of that. I gave up on you five months ago, Tony. I just… I need you to promise you won’t go again.”

“I promise,” he says, “not for anything.”

“I don’t expect you to be this baby’s father, Tony. Not the way you are with Peter—not that you’re his father, just—“ She sighs, blinking up at the ceiling. “You know what I mean.”

He does.

“Just…you two have been through a lot together. More than most. That kind of bond doesn’t come by blood alone.”

He’s not sure he could ever fathom the kind of bond he has with Peter now. He doesn’t like to think about it much—the circ*mstances—so right now, he’s just doing his best to stay by the kid’s side and make him feel safe.

“And you have Peter now,” she says. “and he’s your priority.”

“He is,” he says. Without question.

“And this baby?” Pepper says. “She’s my priority.”

Tony nods wearily.

“Until it comes, I’ll help you with Peter as much as I can. He’ll be my priority, but. When the baby does come…” She grimaces. “She’ll be my number one priority, Tony. Please understand that.”

“Pepper—“

“And I know you’ll do your best to try,” she says, “but I know that right now, Peter’s the only…” She waves vaguely.

He is. “I’m sorry,” he says.

“It’s okay,” she says back, and she’s still wincing, giving him that look of apologetic exhaustion. “Just, I don’t think we’re in a good place to have something like… Something like we used to. It’s been a long time, and…”

He just nods again; there’s not much to say.

“I think it might be better like this,” he says. “A break. I don’t think I could do anything else.”

Pepper grimaces. “I know I was hard on you,” she says. “In there. I said some things…”

Tony Stark just shakes his head. His hair has gotten healthier since Rhodey cut it, but it’s still much longer than he’s used to—shaggy and full. “It’s okay,” he says. “You didn’t know.”

Neither of them knew, really. Tony didn’t know she was pregnant; Pepper didn’t know he was being forced to watch Peter’s torture.

“Let’s just get through these next couple of weeks, okay?” she says. “Get through that first hearing, get Peter and Cassie out of the Medbay, and then we’ll… I don’t know, reconvene.”

“Reconvene,” he says, and his eyebrow co*cks in this terribly exhausted way. He’s trying to give off his best Tony Stark aura, but he’s too tired to do much banter. “An appointment with the famous Pepper Potts?”

“The one and only,” she says softly. “And for now… Co-parenting.”

He nods. “Co-parenting,” he says back.

Pepper smiles a little.

MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 17 — 12:08 AM

On Monday, they try to get the kids to play with some of the toys together—but it’s really difficult to get Peter to accept any kind of gift without going completely out of it and slipping back into his head, so Sarah Wilson went back through the reports to try to find something useful. “I’ve got it,” Sarah says. “I’ve got it.”

“McDonald’s?” Pepper echoes.

Sarah nods. “Apparently, they used to have a supply of toys in the bunker. McDonald’s toys. Came with their food, and they were allowed to keep them. I think… This could work.”

It's much like the tin-can-breakfast situation. they bring in some Happy Meal boxes, put some toys inside—stuffed ones, mostly, zoo animals and dinosaurs and rag dolls. Things that Alexis suggests might be good for some play therapy.

And the kids accept them like it’s nothing, taking the boxes and prying it open.

So now they’re playing on the bed—or, Cassie’s playing on the bed, mostly. She’s got a Captain America action figure in one hand. Peter just sits behind her, arm looped around her waist, legs extended around her, holding her close in case something happens.

When Tony looks back at the bed, the Happy Meal box is gone.

And Peter’s chewing something.

It’s not a mealtime—it’s not a mealtime. Helen and the psychiatrists have very strict rules about when and what the kids can eat. Every morning: breakfast at eight o’clock, mid-morning snack at ten, lunch at twelve-thirty, snack at three, dinner at six-thirty, evening snack at ten. It’s not a mealtime, so what is he…

Then Tony spots the red-and-yellow box somewhere behind them, tucked under a pillow, a shot of bright red under white-covered pillows. He watches then as Peter absentmindedly tears off another piece of cardboard, barely bigger than a quarter, and he puts it onto his tongue and closes his mouth. He can see the kid’s tongue moving in his cheek, and then he starts to chew.

It startles him at first—he’s eating cardboard. He’s eating cardboard.

The first feeling that enters him is confusion, then mild disgust at the thought, then just horror. Because very, very slowly, Tony starts to understand.

Tony doesn’t know that feeling—starvation—and he never will. But Peter… That was all he experienced in there. All day, every day, Peter was hungry. Starved. Losing muscle and fat until there was barely anything left. Skin hanging on bone. It stands to reason, then, that Peter Parker would’ve found anything just to fill his stomach. Even if it meant something inedible—like cardboard, even.

So as Peter pulls off another piece of cardboard from the red-and-yellow box, Tony asks gently, barely leaning forward, trying not to startle him, “You hungry, Pete?”

The kid’s not very talkative today. Peter blinks at him, looking extraordinarily tired, and looks down at the piece of torn cardboard in his hand. It’s about the size of a baby carrot, a flat piece of red-painted cardboard. He blinks at it once, curling his hand around it, and looks back at Tony. Peter just looks so humiliated, like he’s been stripped naked, like Tony’s about to ridicule him or laugh in his face. His mouth downturning, his cheeks going tense, his eyebrows flattening downward.

“It’s okay if you are,” he says, “it’s almost lunchtime, so…”

Peter stares emptily at the cardboard, still not saying another word.

There’s a whiteboard in Peter’s hospital room, one posted right next to the door. It reads everything they’re gonna have at mealtimes, any appointments, any doctor’s visits, anything with a particular time. Sarah said it was supposed to help Peter predict who was coming and when, but Tony doesn’t think it’s done much good. “I think it’s pasta today,” Tony says, reading off the middle of the whiteboard. He points, and Peter’s eyes don’t follow. “Mac and cheese, how does that sound? Looks like… applesauce, too, and some grilled chicken.”

For someone who was starved for five months, Peter is never excited about food. More often than not, the kid avoids the food, sometimes refusing to eat it until everyone’s gone from the room, eating it rapidly and then tossing the can like it was never even full.

Peter just gazes down at that piece of cardboard in his hand. But somehow, horribly, Peter’s looking at it like it’s a f*cking red apple instead of a piece of garbage.

If he tries to eat it again, Tony might have to stop him—surely that can’t be good for his stomach. “Please don’t,” he says quietly. “That’s not good for you, Pete, you know it’s not.”

Peter doesn’t even look at him—he just closes his fingers around the cardboard, hiding it in his palm like it’s a f*cking stolen piece of candy.

“Please,” Tony says again. “I promise you’ll get to eat. Fifteen minutes, that’s all. Then you can eat as much as you want.” Again, not exactly true—Helen’s very strict on how much both kids get. She also mentioned that people who have starved for a long time have little understanding of when they’re hungry and when they’re not—their bodies telling them they’re full on nearly nothing, as their minds telling them to take whatever they can get. “Just fifteen more minutes.”

Peter just looks at him then, eyes scanning his face, hair dangling dark in front of his eyes, his jaw going tense. His eyes flick to the door, and then back to Tony. And barely, just barely, the kid nods. “Legos?” the kid mouths, his voice croaky.

He’s asking for something. Pete’s asking for something.

It’s the only thing that manages to calm him well now, something he ties enough to before that he doesn’t seem to question it when it’s put in front of him. He never touches it—never—but he loves to watch Tony do it, click the pieces together, form something new. “Yeah,” Tony says, his chest clenching. “Of course, Pete. Whatever you want.”

MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 17 — 5:53 PM

Happy has been keeping strict tabs on Peter’s friends since he last saw them.

Although they ended on poor terms—Happy refusing to tell them what happened to their friend—they still text him constantly with their questions. He remembers Peter used to call it spamming. Sorry for spamming you, Happy!” he’d say before he delved into a twenty-minute-long story about a little old lady and her grocery run that he’d already texted Happy in full detail.

Peter was always such a talkative kid. Such a blabbermouth that Happy could never get him to shut up; he was always telling stories about whatever he’d done that day, whether it was a chemistry test or a patrol or even May’s cooking.

And now, they can barely get Peter to say anything at all; coaxing sentences from him is like pulling teeth. He hasn’t said anything about the five months he was missing. He hasn’t said anything about Quentin Beck, about Charlie Keene, about his aunt May. Nothing except the occasional yes or no or I’m sorry, I’m sorry, please—

It’s not like he needs to say much, anyway—they all get the idea. The evidence of what happened is written all over him.

It won’t be long before Ned and MJ know—there are a couple photos somehow floating around the Internet—one of Tony carrying Peter in the forest, one of the empty bunker, one of Quentin Beck lying bloody on the floor of a jail cell.

They’re smart kids. Tech-savvy. There’s no way they haven’t connected some of those dots.

So, despite his better judgment, Happy Hogan travels to Queens to visit the kids. He knows where they are, having tracked their phones to Ned’s house, and he finds them there, home alone—when he says who he is to the locked door, the kids open the door immediately. “About time,” says MJ, but the phrase is without harshness. There’s something in her voice—grief, maybe. “How is he?”

Happy swallows, ignoring her question. “Can I come in?”

Ned’s grandma is gone for the evening, so it’s just the kids—odd circ*mstances, a middle-aged man alone with a couple teenagers—but honestly, he’s done weirder for Peter Parker. Ned makes him a cup of tea, MJ scowls at him the whole time, and then they sit down in the kitchen together.

Ned’s a little too quiet; like Peter, he used to be much more talkative. “We saw the photo,” the kid asks quietly, moving his hair away from his eye with his hand. “The one…with Peter.”

“We’re not as stupid as you think we are,” adds the girl. “We figured it out—he was taken, right? And Tony Stark was involved, too. And the guys from the news—the Stark Seven. They took him? Right?”

Happy can only imagine what the kids’ rooms look like: nothing short of a investigation, probably, police reports and media photos pinned up on the walls, red string tied between them like a web.

“It’s all over the news, too. What happened.”

Happy knows that, too. Everyone knows about the kid, although not by name—how an underage staff member of Stark Industries was tortured by drug addicts for five months. They don’t know exactly why, and they don’t know exactly how, but they do have that one photo: of Tony Stark, shaggy-bearded and skinny, cradling what looks like a corpse out in the New Hampshire mountains—a pale, scarred-over creature of a boy, dressed in a black jumpsuit and bruised beyond recognition.

“That was him, right?” asks Ned, and his voice sounds like it’s been stripped raw. “Peter?”

There’s an ache in Happy’s throat, like a physical pain. “Yes,” he says carefully, and MJ makes this sound like she’s been punched in the stomach.

MJ was always the conspiracy theorist of the three—the one who never believed anything until it was laid out in front of her. Cold, hard facts. Of course she wouldn’t believe it was Peter. She’d believe anything else before it was Peter.

“He’s not…” tries Happy. “...well right now. Physically, he’s doing a lot better, he’s not in any danger, but… He’s not doing well. I can’t tell you any more than that, so…” He rubs his hand over the back of his neck, and sweat sticks to his palm. “...please don’t ask.”

Both kids nod, exchanging dejected looks with each other.

“He liked the Legos,” Happy says, looking just to Ned this time. Happy was the one who picked them up at the front desk, all labeled and packaged like Christmas presents, Ned’s handwriting scribbled all over them with titles of movies Happy had never seen: The Empire Strikes Back, The Last Jedi, Rogue One, A Phantom Menace… “That was a good plan.”

Ned’s eyes shine with something like tears. “He did?”

“Does he need anything else?” demands MJ, now over here sullen silence and back to how-do-I-fix-this. “My mom’s a nurse, she could—”

“He’s being treated at the Medbay,” Happy assures the girl. “He’s getting the best medical treatment possible.”

“So when can we see him?”

“I don’t know,” Happy says honestly. “He’s not in a good place right now.”

“But he’s okay?” asks Ned. “He’s…safe?”

“He’s safe,” says Happy, as truthfully as he can manage. “He’s…getting better.”

That relaxes them both, at least a little bit, and for a couple moments MJ vanishes into Ned’s room and comes out hauling a massive tote bag reading Midtown School of Science and Technology on one side. “Here,” she says, thrusting it out to him with both arms. “For Peter.”

Happy’s still Director of Security, so he checks it, obviously, for anything dangerous; MJ and Ned watch as he does. A couple of MJ’s sweaters. Some books. A friendship bracelet. Even a pack of flash cards bound in a rubber band. “He likes those,” MJ says, brushing her curly brown hair out of her face. “Periodic table. He can recite them all in order, if you ask.”

Happy doubts Peter can recite anything right now.

A couple more things, too. Several tupperwares of Filipino foods, probably from Ned’s family: purple yam cookies and steamed rice cakes, flan and spring rolls, chicken adobo and vegetable stew. And then a couple care package-y items: scented soaps and fuzzy socks. A package of double-stuf oreos.

“Which one did he do?” asks the boy.

Happy doesn’t have the heart to tell him that his best friend’s so psychologically messed up that he can’t even build the things by himself. So he says, “Uh, the big walking one.”

“The AT-AT,” says the boy, with this wistful look. “The Empire Strikes Back. He likes that one.”

“I can get more Legos,” Ned says quickly. “I’ve been working at Mr. Delmar’s, you know, Peter’s old job. Been saving up.”

“I think he’s okay for now,” Happy says gently.

Chapter 44: dead man walking

Summary:

title from “youngblood” but the angus and julia stone version

surprise flashback chap!! this one takes place at the end of the last escape attempt but from tony’s (kind of) perspective. peter doesn’t remember this, as u remember, cuz he’s hit so hard in the head near the end. but tony remembers. poor tony.

cw: violence, torture, forced self-injury sort of, kidnapping obv

Notes:

sorry ignore the italics i’m posting this from my phone so i’ll change it later

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

TUESDAY, MAY 8 — 8:01 AM

(THIRTY-TWO DAYS INTO PETER’S CAPTIVITY)

(ONE HUNDRED AND EIGHT DAYS BEFORE HE IS RESCUED)

(AFTER THEIR FINAL ESCAPE ATTEMPT)

Tony’s working so hard that he doesn’t even realize Peter’s on the television screen. He’s scribbling out chemistry equations on the floor with permanent marker, filling his mind with numbers and elements, running through chemical compounds—he doesn’t have room for anything else in his mind. Dum-E starts making squealing noises—whirring and beeping and pulling at his arm.

“What?” he snaps. smacking the robot backwards.

Dum-D whirs again, beeping in rapid speed, pulling and pulling at his arm. He gets up, and his knees pop, and he collapses back onto the ground. That’s why he was on the ground in the first place—he’s so dizzy without sleep that he can barely stand. On his other side, U snaps his robotic clamp around his other arm and helps him up; both robots drag him forward, all the way to the television, and his brain swims, still full of numbers and chemicals.

And there on the television screen, Peter is dragged to the chair.

“It’s not seven yet,” Tony whispers to himself, “it’s not…”

His robot U whirs beside him, a beep of agreement. And he beeps back with the time—around eight AM.

What happened?

What did Peter do?

It’s usually something small—trying to escape, disobeying, even something as simple as talking back—that makes Charlie beat Peter when it’s not seven o’clock. So what happened?

Peter’s trembling. It looks like he’s been crying for a while, his face pink, his eyes swollen and half-closed.

Peter’s crying still—he’s crying, his kid’s crying so hard that he’s not even speaking, sobbing relentlessly, and he’s grabbing at the arms of the people dragging him—a short dark-haired man and a brown-skinned guy. When they push him into the chair, he grabs hard onto the brown-skinned guy’s wrist with both his hands, pulling him towards him, still crying, clinging hard like a kid who doesn’t want to go to bed, choking out, “Mateo, please, please… Please don’t let him… Please—help me, I didn’t—I don’t wanna—”

He knows them by name. He’s begging them for mercy…by name.

But then they get the first cuff, and the rest come easy because Peter stops fighting them. He stops fighting. He just sits there and lets them do it, all the while hitting his head—hard—against the back of the chair.

And Charlie hasn’t even shown up yet.

Someone else has called now, the blond one, and he’s muttering something drug-addled into the phone, and now Tony can hear everything, all the voices distorted over the phone like they’re coming through a tin can.

Charlie approaches like a man possessed and grabs Peter firmly by the hair, grasping hard—it’s mullet-like now, dark and frazzled and short in places where someone has pulled it out. Longer than Tony’s ever seen it. Long enough to drag bangs across his forehead. and the back of it is in small ratty braids—did he do that himself?—and Charlie snarls, “STOP THAT! IT’S NO f*ckING FUN WHEN YOU DO THAT!”

Tony’s seen the kid do it before—try to hit his head on the chair, try to knock himself unconscious before the torture starts. Charlie hates it so much that he’ll boost the kid full of adrenaline just to wake him up again.

But this time, Peter’s head-slamming just gets more frantic, harder and harder, fighting against Charlie’s grip, so at last Charlie rips up the couple cuffs they’ve managed to snap around his limbs and shove him to the floor. “KNEEL, PARKER!” he shouts, and the man licks his lips, lifting his shirt to remove something from his belt.

A gun.

A f*cking gun.

“NO!” Tony screams, and he slams his hand against the television His legs tremble, and he falls to one knee, and then the other. “Please, please—not him, not him, please—“

Peter’s on the floor, curled up, arms wrapped around his head, and Charlie kicks him hard in the back— “I SAID KNEEL—UP, PARKER, GET THE f*ck UP!”

And he’s forcing himself up to some kind of kneeled position, his hands curled around his stomach now, trying in vain to protect himself, and Charlie kicks him again, directly in the mouth, this time hard enough to knock him backwards with a pained moan, flat onto his back. “YOU TRIED TO RUN? YOU TRIED TO RUN AGAIN?”

Oh, thinks Tony very clearly. Oh, no.

Peter tried to escape again. God, this is the fourth time—and each time the punishment gets worse. More violent. More f*cked up. The last time, Tony remembers, there was someone in the corner—someone small. A kid, maybe. They forced the kid to watch.

“YOU NEVER—EVER RUN FROM ME, YOU LITTLE BITCH!”

“I’m sorry,” Peter sobs, trying to get back up again, and there’s blood filling his mouth now where Charlie kicked him, his lip swelling, “I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry—please, Charlie, I won’t…”

“EVERY f*ckING TIME!”

And now Charlie’s kneeled on the ground beside him, pinning him down by the throat with one arm, and Peter’s not fighting him—he’s grabbing him, holding onto his arms like he did that first guard, like he’s trying to beg for mercy again. And he’s pressing the gun to Peter’s forehead, and he clicks the safety off—

—and now Peter’s really crying, gasping and hiccuping in sheer terror, holding onto Charlie’s sleeve, mumbling out half-sobbed pleas as Charlie screams spittle-soaked words into his face. “WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU RUN, PARKER? WHAT HAPPENS! WHAT HAPPENS!” And with that Charlie shifts the gun two inches to the right, just beside Peter’s sweaty forehead and fires it— bang!

Peter shrieks like an animal, crying harder and harder and harder, his eyes squeezed shut, tears still flooding forth. That bullet is now buried in the floor beside him. “SAY IT PARKER! SAY IT! WHAT DID I f*ckING TELL YOU!”

“When—when you—”

“WHAT DID I SAY!”

And then Charlie takes that gun and presses the tip of it hard into Peter’s forehead, right where it was before, and the kid lets out this gargled frantic scream.

“SAY IT! f*ckING SAY IT!”

He chokes it out then, every word: “When you—you run—you get—get punished.”

Charlie releases his neck then, forcing himself to his feet, and glares down at the sobbing boy, waving at him with the gun, his finger still on the trigger. “ALL I GIVE YOU AND YOU RUN FROM ME? FROM ME?”

“Please, I’m s-sorry, so—I’m so sorry…”

And then Charlie’s rambling loudly about empires and the world and peace again, about doing things for the greater good. He’s monologuing, and Tony knows that’s never good. When Charlie monologues it means he has some kind of sick plan for Peter—this isn’t good. And Peter’s crawling backwards with as much effort as he can muster, dragging himself to try to put some distance between him and the man, chest heaving as he goes. Behind Charlie, red-haired Renee has returned with something—a long coiled wire.

Not the wire.

God, not the wire again.

Tony trembles, pressing his palm against the glass screen. He remembers the last time they whipped Peter with that wire, the screaming, the begging, the bloody slashes… Tony still sees thosee horrible images every time he closes his eyes. The sound of wire against Peter’s skinny back—the slap, the tear, the bright blood trickling down.

Not again. He can’t watch that again.

But he has to.

“Take that jumpsuit off him,” Charlie says at last, viciously, tucking his gun back in his belt, ignoring Peter’s choked apologies. “It’ll get in my way.”

Without hesitation, the other guards pull the jumpsuit off of him, ripping Peter’s only protection off of him as the kid panics, thrashing, trying to keep the sleeves on his arms, but he’s not strong enough to stop them. And he’s not even calling for Tony anymore—he’s calling out for his captors, calling them about by name again : “HAROUN! HELP ME! PLEASE! YOU SAID—YOU SAID—” And the rest of them just stand there, avoiding Peter’s calls, and he just moves onto the next one— “AVA, Ava, please, please, I’ll never run again—I promise, I won’t, I won’t—NO! NO! WAIT!”

Once they’ve taken the suit all the way off, leaving the kid just in his briefs, all his scars bared for the room to see, they drag him to the chair; Charlie and the rest of them force him forward as Renee draws that coil over the cement floor, and Peter hears the sound of that wire scraping against the ground and he starts thrashing against their grip and howling, “WAIT! WAIT! Please! Ple—please, please, please, not again, no, I can’t—I CAN’T—”

“SHUT UP!” snarls Charlie, forcing the kid down to his knees. They’re putting him on his knees on the ground, buckling his wrists into it the opposite way so that he’s kneeling in front of the chair instead of sitting in it, cuffed to it like he’s at a whipping post. “SHUT THE f*ck UP! YOU DID THIS! THIS IS WHAT YOU GET! THIS IS WHAT YOU f*ckING DESERVE!”

All Tony can see now is the kid’s back and his hanging head as he kneels in front of the chair, pulling hard at his cuffed wrists, and he’s crying, “I know, I’m sorry, I’m sorry—please—”

“ARE YOU SORRY? ARE YOU?”

But it doesn’t take much to pin Peter down now—he’s so weak from the starvings, and the beatings, and everything else. They’re buckling him in, and there, threading down his legs, are the remnants of beatings before—the most recent, long pink scars from the beating he endured the last time he tried to escape. Some thick like claws, some skinny like thread, most of the wounds still open. Scabbed over. Some trail all the way down to his ankles, some tickling up by his ribs. But they haven’t healed. They haven’t healed. They’re not even scars, really, but long brown-red scabs.

The deepest ones are lined in messy stitching.

Tony has seen stitches like this—he wonders who does it. One of the captors, maybe. The nice ones. Ava or Riri, maybe.

Peter’s not healing like he used to.

And Charlie’s about to rip them open again. They haven’t had enough time to heal. They’ll probably tear back open as soon as Charlie takes the wire to his back.

Behind him, Peter is sobbing into the chair, twisting and twisting his arms against the restraints, blood coming down from his cuffs. The scars on his legs—and the ones on his lower back, too—stiffen and pull wrinkled at his skin: long curved lines. A little trickle of urine comes down his leg as he cries, pressing his forehead into the seat of the chair, his shoulders bowing.

“Damn!” Charlie says, with this horrible cackle, “I really broke your little Spider-baby, didn’t I? IS THIS WHAT YOU WANTED, PARKER? HUH? ANSWER ME!”

“N-no, n-no, I—I—”

“THEN WHY DID YOU RUN? WHY THE HELL DID YOU RUN FROM ME?”

“I shouldn’t—I shouldn’t—” His face is tipped into the chair—he keeps crying, crying, the tears infinite, just unhinged wailing into the chair in front of him. “Oh, god—please, please don’t—”

Tony doesn’t say anything; he knows he’s not allowed to talk back. If he does, Charlie might do even worse to his kid.

“…but I warned you!” Charlie’s saying, near gleeful with anticipation. “I WARNED YOU, DIDN’T I, PARKER?”

Ragged sobs.

“I TOLD YOU! WHEN YOU RUN YOU GET PUNISHED! ISN’T THAT RIGHT?” He laughs again, and he has the wire now, coiling and uncoiling it in his hands.

No one’s washed the wire from last time; blackened flakes of dried blood fall away as Charlie twists it. And Peter just keeps tensing and tensing—his whole body, trying to brace for a blow that he doesn’t know when it’s coming, each breath coming in fast and shallow—terror.

Sometimes Charlie will hurt Peter while he’s talking. Sometimes he’ll hurt him in utter silence. They never know which. And now he’s talking again, and he slaps the coil against the floor—Peter screams and then delves into another round of crying, gasping out something like relief. “…but,” Charlie’s saying, “I wanna have a little fun first, how’s that sound?”

Peter's crying too hard to respond.

“My old man, he used to” —Charlie drags the wire across the ground, metal against concrete, and Peter presses his whole body as far from Charlie as possible, as far as the cuffs will let him— “make me pick the belt. I think it helps the message really sink in, right, Parker? Picking your poison.” He’s squatting beside him, tripping slightly off-balance before he kneels beside him, unlocking one cuff so that he can drag Peter towards him by the neck, forcing his face close to Peter’s. “So I’m gonna be nice this time, Spider-baby. You wanna pick?”

It seems like Peter’s struggling to stay in his head, stay present, because he goes hollow-eyed for a moment, still, barely breathing, and Charlie slaps him to get his attention. “Look at me when I’m talking to you,” he says, his voice dark.

Peter’s head’s hanging low from the slap; he then lifts it back up, turning to look at Charlie. “Sorry,” he says, his voice eerily quiet.

“Better,” says Charlie, and he’s unstrapping Peter’s last limb from the chair, letting the kid fall to the ground with a horrible smack. “I don’t make the rules, I just follow ‘em. You gotta bleed every day, isn't that right?”

The kid stays there on the ground, just lying there—exhausted, maybe, from the anticipation alone. “Yes,” Peter burbles through a mouth swollen with blood.

“Say it.”

“I have to…bleed…every day…”

Charlie says, shrugging, “That’s right. So you can take your pick, Parker, how about that? Either you do it or I’ll do it for you.” He bares his teeth, a wicked smile. “And you won’t like what I do.”

Tony’s not following.

“...so what will it be, Parker? Door number one or door number two?” He’s crouching by Peter's sprawled out form, and when he doesn’t respond, slaps him hard again—the kid lets out a small whimper.!“The wire or something else, Parker—THE WIRE OR SOMETHING ELSE—ANSWER ME!”

Another smack—Charlie’s hand meeting Peter's bruised face. “Som—something else,” the kid chokes out.

Charlie grins. “Excellent pick,” he says, and Peter's still just laying on the ground. “You’re gonna make me get creative! THIS IS GONNA BE FUN!”

Peter’s eyes aren’t even going to the camera anymore—he’s not seeking solace in Tony being there; instead, he’s staring up at Charlie, who’s fiddling through the tools on the tray—cattle prods with metal stakes, screws and spiked straps, the man holds his fate so firmly in his hands, and Peter’s holding his breath.

Peter’s staring up at him like he’s God—like he’s an almighty being walking the mortal earth. A malicious immortal creature that holds his life in his hands.

To Peter, he supposes, Charlie is as close to a god as it gets—in complete control at all times.

Charlie’s rambling now, picking up different items and examining them with his wild eyes. He motions at one of the others to bring him something, who returns quickly with a white baggie of powder. He opens it up, lays out the white stuff on the edge of a knife, snorts it up, and sticks the remains with his fingers into his mouth, sticking it between his lips and gums.

And his eyes get redder, and his words get faster, and his smile gets wider.

And Charlie keeps talking. Talking and talking, smiling and rambling, talking and talking and smiling more. “...and you know,” Charlie’s saying, sniffling again, his nose red from irritation, “there was this old thing Japanese soldiers used to do—if they betrayed their country, their masters, their empires—they’d cut themselves open, stem to stern. Bleed out on the ground and die.” He motions with the blade then, the one he wiped clean of his drugs. “How cool is that, huh? CAN YOU IMAGINE? WOULDN’T THAT BE FUN, PARKER?”

And then he holds out the knife by the blade, out to Peter, who’s half-lying half-sitting on the cement floor, looking up at him. “Go on then, Parker, give it a go.”

“What?” whispers Peter, shaking like a leaf.

“You heard me,” he says. “Take it.”

Peter just stares at the knife—understand clicks in his battered mind, and then his mouth opens slightly, and then closes. His lip’s split there where Charlie hit him a couple days ago, torn bloody and scabbed over like a lip ring gone wrong. “Charlie,” he tries, his voice a whisper, “ please…”

“You wanna prove it to me? Prove to me you’re not gonna run again. Do it yourself.”

Peter stares up, that horrible empty stare, at the knife Charlie’s holding.

“HEY!” he snaps, when Peter doesn’t lift a finger, and the kid flinches back, raising up his arms to protect himself, and the man grabs him by the arm and yanking it out, pressing the knife into Peter’s weak hand. “TAKE IT! TAKE THE f*ckING KNIFE!”

But Peter won’t curl his hand around it, instead trying to pull his arm back, trying to yank it towards himself. “I don’t—I don’t—”

Charlie clamps his hand down hard enough that Peter cries out—that’s gonna bruise. “THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS—WHEN YOU RUN!” he shouts, even as Peter scrabbles at him, trying to escape his bruising grip. “THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS! SAY IT! WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU RUN!”

“You get—you get punished,” the kid chokes out.

“AND WHAT DID YOU DO—WHAT DID YOU DO—”

“I-I-I ran,” he sobs, the knife still pressed into his palm.

“YOU RAN! YOU f*ckING RAN! YOU’RE NEVER GETTING OUT OF HERE, PARKER, HOW MANY TIMES I GOTTA TELL YOU—SAY IT—”

“—never, never—n-never getting—”

“ARE YOU ASHAMED, PARKER? ARE YOU?”

“Yes—”

“YOU SHOULD BE! YOU f*ckING BETRAYED ME—BE f*ckING GRATEFUL!”

“I—I’m—I am—I am—”

“GOOD! THEN f*ckING PROVE IT!”

And he forces Peter’s hand closed around the blade, and the kid takes it this time, hugging the knife to his chest. “How—” His voice is a whimper of sound. “How deep.”

“All the way,” he says.

Peter just looks up at him, and in that moment he looks like a little kid looking up at his father, and he says, face upturned, kneeling awkwardly on his bad leg, a whisper: “But—”

“All the way,” Charlie repeats. “Or I’ll make you do it again.”

The kid stares down at the knife; he doesn’t say anything else. He’s way, way too quiet.

“Remember where your organs are, bitch,” Charlie cackles. “Don’t hit anything good.”

Peter’s been stabbed before. Tony's brought him into the Medbay for stab wounds more times than he likes to admit. Had Cho or Banner stitch up the gaping wounds in neat lines. But he’s never…

“Five,” Charlie says. “Four.”

Peter looks straight into the camera then, as though Tony can see him there. It’s a small knife; it shouldn’t be too bad, but the kid has so little fat to cushion the blow…

“Three.”

Charlie’s got the wire again, and he’s flicking his wrist and letting the wire trail audibly across the floor in slow curls, chuckling as Peter flinches, and then the kid moves in a panic, picking up the knife, and pressing it to his belly. “Okay, okay,” he says breathlessly, terrified. He's moving it around to different points on his abdomen, trying to find the best spot and he picks a scar that’s already there.

Smart. What a smart kid. It's a spot he got at a mugging a few months back. A scar where Tony said, You’re so damn lucky, Pete. You missed every major organ.

Smart. He remembers.

“Two.”

Peter jerks his arms once, stops, with the point of the knife pressed hard onto his skin, barely bleeding, and with trembling fingers, shoves it in all the way—Charlie doesn’t get a chance to say that last number.

Peter just stares down at it then, hand on the hilt, blood coming around the blade, and he lets go immediately, panicking, drawing in breath fast. “Oh,” the kid says, like he doesn’t understand. “I—I didn’t—” He sucks in a breath. “Oh, god. Oh, god—I—I—”

“Great,” says Renee, dryly. “You freaked out the kid—”

“My—my—my—” And he’s gasping in air, nearly choking on it. “MY—it’s in me—IT’S—”

And one of the crew—a young woman—approaches as the kid starts to move, grabbing at the handle, trying to pull at it. “Don’t take it out, kid, you’re gonna blee—”

But Peter’s scared, and he screams as she gets close, flailing his arm out to shove her away. He goes for the knife again, yanks it out in one pull, and then the woman curses as blood spreads fast over the kid’s front. She lunges at him, and he smacks her in the head with her arm—the woman yelps, backing up.

“HEY!” snarls Charlie, eyes trained on the kid, having heard the hit. The other woman has backed away, a hand to her cheek. “YOU DON’T—TOUCH—HER!”

In one staggered move, Charlie, picks up that hammer from the ground—

“NO!” shrieks Tony at the television. “NO! He didn’t mean to—”

—and swings it in one massive swoop—crack!—as it hits the back of Peter’s head. He sprawls out on the ground as Charlie screams at his unconscious body: “YOU’RE NOTHING! YOU’RE NOTHING! YOU NEVER TOUCH US! EVER!”

Until at last Peter starts to stir, and one guard slaps a length of medical tape over his bleeding stomach, although they leave his head alone. Peter pushes away from the contact, cowering, and then groans, tries to pick his head up, before sinking back to the floor. He’s saying something, teary, slurred, and blood from his head wound is now trailing down the back of his neck.

Tony thinks it’s “sorry.” He thinks Peter’s saying “sorry.”

There’s some talking then, some mild fighting between the captors, and then the rest break away so that Charlie can hover over the kid.

And Charlie hauls him up, and he talks to him quietly—gentle, almost. With the hit to his head, the kid’s swaying, delirious, his eyes dragging over Charlie, his fear coming a little too late. Charlie shakes him by the hair, the kid’s eyes rolling around in his concussed skull, and he growls, “Now thank me. Thank me for not beating you bloody.”

“Thank you,” Peter whispers, the words a little slurred.

Charlie grabs him by the hair and yanks his head violently to one side—Peter gasps at the movement, his hands moving to try to dislodge him—and the man peers at the wound.

He’s checking the wound. The wound that he made.

Something curdles in Tony’s stomach, spoiled. Is he checking to see if he can do more before Peter gives out? Is he going to help him? Is he finally, finally, having some empathy for the kid?

Charlie pats the kid’s head, stroking his hair back, and Peter tilts forward, body taut with pain, his arms around himself and lets him, crying into the man.

Tony hates when Charlie does this. Hates it. How he’ll comfort Peter sometimes, rub his shoulder or pat his head or speak to him slowly. He doesn’t know why he does it, either. Maybe to alleviate his own weighed conscience. Maybe because he sees a bit of himself in Peter. Maybe just to screw with the kid’s head some more.

But it’s hard, watching Peter grab onto Charlie like he’s hugging him, choking out genuine apologies as Charlie looks at him like he’s a piece of meat. And the man says quietly, his eyes wide with a crazed shine, “So you know what happens when you run, don’t you?”

“Yes,” he manages, “yes, yes—”

“Say it, Parker. I need to hear you say it.”

And Peter inhales his next sob. “When you—when you run… you get—you get punished,” he says, hiccuping through it.

“Again.”

And he looks up at Charlie with this horrifically childish look, like he’s waiting for his approval. Like Charlie’s his teacher or coach or counselor, his eyes big and glittering with hope. And he says it again—and Charlie tells him to say it again—and he says it again, each time the sentence coming a little easier, his hands grasping onto Charlie’s arms like the tighter he holds, the less likely he is to be hurt again. When you run, you get punished. When you run, you get punished. When you run, you get punished. Over and over and over again.

“Again,” says Charlie.

“When you run,” he manages, his voice hollow like a shell, “you get punished.”

“Good,” he says, and Peter sobs in relief. “And what do you say to me?”

“Thank you,” he whimpers. “Thank you, thank you, thank you…” The kid’s slurring his words again, his head tilting to one side. God, that girl must’ve gotten his head pretty bad; and all Tony can do is watch.

“Good,” Charlie says, and he backs up. “Haroun, Daria—strap him in. Arms only. Put him on his knees.”

Then Peter moves, confused, his head still bleeding, and his face going pale with horrified shock. “What?”

Charlie just smiles.

Peter backs away from the people, scrambling back, painful groaning as he jostles the new wound in his stomach. He’s still wounded from the day before, too, bruises at his knees, wounds letting out small trickles of blood. “But you said—you said—” His voice goes high and frightened. “But you said —”

“I only said I wouldn't,” he says, grinning a little, as his cronies grab Peter and drag him forcefully towards the chair, “but I never said anything about her.”

Charlie hands over the wire to his red-haired wife, who smacks it on the ground hard enough that Peter jumps.

“Charlie,” he moans, “Charlie, Charlie, please—please—don’t let her—PLEASE, PLEASE, NO—NO—I’M SORRY—I SAID I WAS SORRY— PLEASE —”

And then they force his arms into those cuffs, and Peter just sobs into the chair, letting out this animalistic whine into the vibranium seat. “No, no, no, no…”

“Say it again,” says Charlie, his voice loud, his mouth wide with a smile, “say it again, Parker! What did I tell you?”

“When you—you—you—”

Peter just keeps going, slurring that horrible sentence, over and over again without prompt with the naive hope that they’ll leave him alone.

Peter passes out before the wire even touches him. Maybe it’s the pain, or the concussion, or the anticipation alone, but soon he’s sprawled limply over the front of the chair, head slack to one side, unmoving. Renee gives him a couple hits for good measure, but apparently bloodying an unconscious kid is a bit too much for Charlie’s group, because soon they’re just dragging him away like that, carrying the kid between them.

But right before he does, as that red-haired woman recoils that wire in her hands, as Peter’s gasping in a breath and trying to tense up before the coming blow, he’s saying something. Sobbing something.

Sometimes, he cries to Charlie. Sometimes, he cries to Tony.

But the person he’s crying for this time—is May.

He’s crying for May.

Notes:

yes peter will be sort of reuniting with may!! that’s what i’m implying lol

thanks for reading!! plz lmk if i make any typos cuz my beta is me skimming and saying ‘eh looks good’ ahahahaha

dw ur still getting a chap this tuesday, love y’all

scene ideas always accepted!! i’m making a running list and u guys come up with some of the greatest stuff. thanks to everyone <3

Chapter 45: my little versailles

Notes:

happy bday theweirddivide, congrats on another yr of living ahaha here's 10k

cw: mentions of sexual abuse, mentions of torture/violence obv, some minor minor minor self-harm, obv panic attacks and the like

this is basically an all tony-and-peter chapter, i know i write a lot of other random things lol but this is the good stuff haha

happy tuesday, altho it's technically wednesday, my bad

chap title comes from: fourth of july by sufjan stevens

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

TUESDAY, SEPTEMBER 18 — 2:01 AM

It’s been eight days since they reunited those kids, and Tony Stark finds himself awake in the middle of the night.

Tony forgets where he is for a moment, his mind giving way to familiar panic— have to work, have to work, get back to work, you have to figure this out— and then he calms, rubbing his forehead, crouching over. He finds himself pressing his hand to the glowing pacemaker in his chest—it only hurts a little, aching vaguely where his skin graft was removed. He feels like he’s a decade younger again, waking up in a cave with a piece of metal in his chest. Tony hasn’t fainted since it’s been put in, though; he’s been getting healthier by the day, his movements stronger, his medication making him more surefooted.

He had a dream, he remembers. About Peter. Something horrible—that day with the knife, Tony thinks.

Tony remembers that day so clearly. Peter didn't try to escape after that time. Not once.

He drags his hand over his beard, scratches at his face—he gets up then, making one careful glance to the kid asleep on the bed. Pete’s curled up on his side, arms bent up to his chest, asleep with the teddy bear pressed against his chest, under several blankets. His hair is getting more and more tangled, but the several times Tony has offered him a brush or offered to do it himself, Peter just gave him a tired look and went quiet.

In the other corner of the room, little Cassie Paxton-Lang is asleep in her mother’s arms. Technically, neither of them have to be here—the little girl gained enough weight to be considered healthy now. Her respiratory infection has developed into a kind of asthmatic condition—tided over by an inhaler that the girl takes a couple breaths of every evening, which is a hassle, but well-managed. Even some of her hair has grown back—barely half an inch of stubbly brown hair, light enough that they can spot every scar on her head. She’s been released into the care of her parents—yet still they are here in this room, mostly because Cassie refuses to leave Peter.

“Be right back,” Tony whispers, and he moves clutching that cane, moving a little. He just needs the bathroom—a drink of water, maybe.

Somehow, it’s still difficult to walk through doorways; his heart skips a beat whenever he does, like he’s not supposed to. Charlie f*cking Keene trained that into him, like a dog with an electric collar.

He walks through the Medbay, back and forth, and Tony remembers—May’s room. It’s room eight, all the way at the end, and she’s still there, barely conscious, recovering bit by bit. Dr. Cho explained what was happening to her; apparently, it’s quite rare for someone in a vegetative state to recover like May has—if the coma lasts more than a month, usually people just…deteriorate. But May’s was caused by a head injury—so instead of deteriorating, the cause was reversible. For head injuries, Cho said, recovery can happen up to a year after the original incident. Although, Cho reminded him, recovery so late from comas caused lasting damage—paralysis, cognitive disorders, all kinds of effects. For May, they’d just have to wait and see.

May has been waking sporadically now, an hour or two a day, and able to communicate decently before falling back asleep. She knows some of what happened, and she struggles to retain the details from day-to-day, but she knows what they keep telling her— as soon as Peter’s well enough, we’ll take him right to you.

He returns to Peter’s Medbay room having eaten a little—and when Tony opens the door, Peter jerks in his sleep, curling unconsciously around that teddy bear, so Tony tries to be a little quieter, closing the door with a soft click.

Then he climbs back into the cot where he was, checks on Peter one more time, and falls asleep.

“Tony?”

He jerks awake, and Peter’s there on the bed, looking at him; beside him, Cassie is still asleep in her mother’s arms. Tony checks his watch: it’s just past three o’clock. Still dark outside, surely.

“Hey, Pete,” Tony says, rubbing his eyes. The kid’s got his knees drawn up to his chest again—why does he keep doing that? Doesn’t it hurt? “Can’t sleep?”

The kid glances again to the little girl, but none of the rest of his body moves—just his eyes, which flit back to Tony, and then down at his Star Wars comforter. And slowly, minutely, Peter shakes his head; his long hair shakes, and the white tube taped down the right side of his cheek pulls a little.

“Anything I can help with?”

Peter stares at him for a long while, as though considering saying something, but eventually he just looks down, curls tighter around himself. His hospital gown is slipped partway down one shoulder, baring several mottled scars—burns.

Tony’s got a few guesses, but he doesn’t want to put ideas in his head. “You wanna try telling me?”

The kid swallows, and his voice comes out a little croaky. “Doesn’t…” he tries, and then he just trails off, his eyes focused down at the crack beneath the door, the sliver of light beneath. He's waiting for someone to come, maybe, someone’s shadow to drift beneath it. “Doesn’t feel…”

Tony doesn’t know what he can say. “It feels weird, right?” he eventually tries. “Being here?”

Peter hugs his knees, and he nods mutely.

“I thought I,” he whispers, “I thought I'd be…”

“I know,” says Tony, because he does. He heard most of Charlie's threats through that phone, his violent promises plastered grainy across his television. “Me, too.”

“And we’re…we’re not?”

Dead?

“No,” he says, soft. “No, Pete, you’re alive, and you’re right here. You’re right here with me. See?”

And then Tony puts his palm out, half-hoping Peter will take his hand; his sleeve pulls back on his wrist, drawing out Tony’s bare forearm, and Peter just glances down at his own, where circular loops of scars-upon-scars mark his own wrist, and the kid just curls tighter around himself. “Are you sure?” he asks quietly, as Tony draws his hand back.

“Very,” Tony whispers back. “You’re out of there, you’re never going back. I promise. They’re all—locked up, all of them.” Some of them are dead, too, but he’s not about to tell Peter that. “No one’s gonna hurt you again, buddy. You’re safe here.”

And Peter doesn’t react, not really. He doesn’t cry or laugh or even smile.

He just stares down at Tony’s chest then, and the spot where his pacemaker glows blue in his chest, and he looks wholly, incredibly sad. And eventually, after a stiff stretch of silence, Peter says, “You… You look different.”

“Yeah,” he says tiredly.

“Did they… Did they…”

He realizes then that Peter never even saw Tony. Never even knew where he was.

“They didn’t hurt me,” he says, “they never hurt me.” Just you, he thinks. Just you, Peter, the only thing that would hurt more.

“Where?”

Tony’s not really supposed to talk about this is he? Sarah and Dr. Miranda told him specifically not to talk about what had happened, but…Peter's not talking about his experience, right? Just asking about Tony’s. “Uh, the lab. Had me locked up in there, working on…stuff.”

“The gun,” says Peter, emptily.

“Yeah,” he says. It sounds so strange whittled down like that—all that effort, all of the chemical reactions, all of the explosive creations—all of the half-made wired weapons laying on the floor of his lab upstate. All of the boxes Riri transferred to him, filled with possibilities. Every box of weaponry that he transferred back, filled with disappointments. The post-it notes covering the tables, the chemical formulas written all over the windows. The gun.

“They didn’t…?”

“No,” he says, “they didn’t even touch me.”

They sit there for longer, and longer, and Peter says, “I've..been here. A while.”

“Yeah,” says Tony, “yeah, you have.”

“And I was there… for…”

“Almost five months,” he says.

“Five months,” he echoes.

“Yeah.”

The kid swallows, his throat shifting, his Adam’s apple bobbing beneath the skin of his scarred neck. “You could see me?” he whispers.

“Yeah,” he says again.

“All of it?”

And the way Peter’s looking at him, Tony gets the insinuation, and he says, “Just the chair, Pete, just the chair.”

And the kid’s face twists again, and he looks away, and he buries his face in his knees.

Neither of them sleep; mostly, they just sit where they are and keep talking: Peter on the bed and Tony in his chair. Cassie and her mother, thankfully, sleep through all of their quiet, stilted conversations.

And Peter’s thinking now, his eyes sliding over the comforter. He's got a blanket around his shoulders now, pulled tight. “May,” he whispers, “where is she…”

Tony’s been waiting for this question, and he answers much too quick. “She's down the hall,” he says. “She's right down the hall, I can take you if you want.”

A look of confusion that comes over the kid. “She’s buried down the…” he whispers.

Tony blinks at him. Who told him… He guesses it might be a rational assumption—the last time he saw her was in a car crash. “No, Pete, she’s—she’s alive, buddy, she’s still alive. She was in a coma for a while, they got her head pretty good, but… but yeah. She's still kicking, kid. You know May—always a fighter. She’s in, uh, room eight.” The kid looks at the door and then back at Tony. “You’re in room one,” he adds.

The kid doesn’t say anything, just lets his eyes drift sideways to the doorway. “Charlie…said…” and upon saying the guy's name Peter starts whispering sorry, sorry, and going out again, muttering so quietly.

“Charlie lied,” he says, “she’s been here for a while, kiddo, she’s… She’s a little sick, but she’s here.”

Peter blinks at him then, a weary blink, and his gaze goes down again to the blanket, weighted. “Charlie doesn’t lie,” he whispers, in a defeated croak.

Tony stiffens at that. “Well,” he says, “he lied about that, buddy—she’s definitely still alive.”

“Charlie doesn’t lie,” Peter says, more insistent, and then he’s moving a little, frowning, gripping tightly his arms around his knees. “He doesn’t, he doesn’t lie, he doesn’t—”

“Alright,” Tony says, because the agitation is starting to make Tony think of that television screen, of the way Peter looked at Charlie, of the way he just agreed with everything Charlie said in order to ease the pain. “Okay, yeah, he doesn’t lie, alright, buddy, I believe you—maybe someone else told him she was dead, right?” This is what Sarah told him to do—don’t argue with him. Calm. Stabilize. Arguing is for later. For now, help him. “Maybe? Someone lied to him?”

That seems to put the kid a bit more at ease, because his shoulders go down a bit, and then Peter nods, whispering, “Yeah, someone—then someone lied—lied to him, lied to him…” A shuddery breath. “He doesn’t lie, he doesn’t—doesn’t lie…”

How many mantras has Charlie tortured into him? How many horrible phrases, ideas, thoughts had been beaten into this kid? Tony can’t even remember most of it—without sleep, on so many drugs that sometimes he’d find himself staring at the television long after Peter was dragged away. Most of the time, he wasn’t paying much attention to Charlie’s words—just the wounds on Peter’s body, calculating each day how much more Peter could take.

(Tony, too, recognized the truth of Peter’s situation very early on. He knew he would probably never complete the weapon, not the way Charlie wanted it. He knew he couldn’t rescue Peter. He knew he couldn’t get a message out to Pepper or the Avengers. All he could do, then, was watch Peter wither away. Attempt a project that would only be completed by some miracle above. Watch as the clock ticked down—as Peter’s time on this earth waned. He knew that most likely, no matter how hard he tried, Tony would never be able to save his kid.)

“You wanna,” Tony tries, “go see her? Your aunt May?”

Peter stares at him for a few seconds, his brown eyes focused on his face. His eyes look different somehow, a little larger, a little darker, like pupils wider than usual, a sheen to both that he’s never seen before. Helen mentioned that earlier—that Peter had mutated in there several times, and a gif to the ocular part of his brain had caused his brain to over-heal and mutate his eyes. He can see in the dark now, she said. Infrared, too. You see eyes like those in animals—bats, bugs, wolves, snakes. They have a reflective sheen to them—helps them sense heat, pick out possible predators.

They’re definitely still Peter’s eyes—just a little more intense.

“Peter?” Tony tries again, because the kid hasn’t said a word. “You with me?”

He mumbles a little in response.

“You wanna see May?”

The kid blinks, a little frown, and then looks up again—a nervous nod.

“Yeah?”

God, Peter’s decisions were so rare now that Tony felt actual joy witnessing it happen, like a shot of dopamine straight to his brain.

“It’s a little colder,” he adds, “out in the hallway. If you want a…” He gestures over in the corner, slow, so as not to startle him.

There’s a box of clothes in that corner—some of Clint’s kids’ stuff, some of Peter’s old stuff upstate, some of Tony’s, too, and others that the kid’s friends donated: worn-soft sweatshirts, fuzzy socks, sweatpants, T-shirts and sweaters. Peter hasn’t touched the box yet; maybe today’s the day. “There’s some…sweaters, other things…”

Peter’s eyes drift to it; Tony moves slowly, carefully, getting up and then sitting on the floor next to the box. In just a couple seconds, Peter’s following, too, limping over to the corner, and tubing from the line in his arm pulls tight, the wheeled poles rolling a little bit as he moves. Soon the kid’s sitting on the floor, just the way he was before—with his knees pulled up to his chest, in enough pain that it’s obvious in his face.

They take turns pulling things out; as Tony does it, Peter does, too, although it takes a few more seconds for the kid, as he sifts through it like a child with a toy box. He keeps pulling each item out and staring at it for a while, and there’s something uncomfortable about the way he keeps glancing at Tony between each item, like he’s expecting something to happen.

“It's okay,” he says, softly. “They’re all yours.”

Peter finds one of Tony’s sweatshirts in the bin, and he pulls it out in slow yanks, spreading it out over his lap like it’s something precious: an MIT sweatshirt, a zip-up maroon one with bright white lettering. The thing’s probably thirty years old and seen more than its fair share of hungover mornings, but Peter just presses the thing to his face—the fabric presses against the white tube extending across his cheek. and he inhales a little, like he’s smelling it. “Yours,” Peter says, and he just holds the thing to his chest. That might be an echo, might be Peter saying, Hey, Mr. Stark—this was yours once. Whatever it is, he knows.

“Yeah,” says Tony, and he doesn’t know how the kid could possibly know that—the smell alone? “That's mine, yeah. From college.”

The kid just murmurs, “College,” and dips his face back into the fabric, gripping it with both hands. pressing to his nose. He rifles through the bin again, and he pulls out one item—a sweater of MJ’s, something knitted and purple. He stares at it for a brutally long moment, holding it gently, and then he puts it back inside.

He’s still got that red MIT sweatshirt in his lap, but he’s not putting it on, gripping it with both his hands like someone’s about to rip it from him.

“Hey,” Tony says, and he picks up one from the clothing scattered across the floor—it’s one of his, another sweatshirt from college, gray with red letters, a zip-up one with a hood. “Look, I’ll take one, too, okay? We’ll do it together.” And he shoves his arm into the sleeves, zipping it up over his white tee, and he glances back up at Peter. “See? We’re—we’re the same, okay?”

“Yours,” says Peter quietly, staring at Tony’s chest.

The arc reactor is barely seen through it, the cloth obscuring the blue glow. “Yeah,” says Tony, “from college.” And Peter’s just still staring at it, barely blinking, so he adds, “Last time I wore it I was probably your age. Thought I grew out of that thing a long time ago, but uh, guess I lost some weight.” Tony lets out this weird hitch of a chuckle, but Peter doesn’t seem to find it funny, tightening his arms around his knees.

Tony adjusts the zipper on his, pulling it up a bit more till it reaches his neck, and Peter stares at him for an extraordinarily long time.

But seeing Tony in one seems to put Peter at ease, because soon he’s pulling the thing over his arms, too, struggling with his one casted wrist, pushing through until the fabric stretches over his wrist.

“You want shoes?” he asks.

“Shoes,” Peter echoes.

“Yeah,” says Tony, recognizing the sound of that echolalia, that strange, repeating voice of Peter's. “Or, like, slippers.” He doesn’t have any in the room, but he could go get some. Peter just stares at him; Tony doesn’t want to lose him to old memories again, so he says, “Just for, like, traction, buddy. Might help you walk a little better.”

And the kid nods vaguely, so Tony gets up to get him some, but Peter makes such a sudden gasp of panic that he just sits right back down. “Alright,” he says, “okay, that’s okay. I'll just sit right here then. Maybe just socks?”

Peter’s still shaken from Tony getting up, so Tony gets them himself—pulling out several pairs of socks for the kid, and putting a pair on himself so that Peter will follow. He does—he grabs a pair of thick black ones, and muscle memory comes through—he pulls apart the pair of socks and stares at them loosely before pulling one over his left, then one over his right.

And he wiggles his toes.

Tony smiles—he’s still in there. Peter’s still in there.

It’s difficult, though, getting Peter up and moving. He uses that wheeled pole with the fluid bags hanging as a kind of cane, moving forward inch by inch. On the first try, Peter doesn’t even make it three feet out the door before he’s panicking, choking out unintelligible words, going directly to the first door he can find.

He drops to the floor as soon as he does, curling up against the wall, and Tony shuts the door behind them both. It’s not Peter’s hospital room—just an empty one nearby, Cassie’s old one, maybe, but he doesn’t think the kid’s lucid enough to understand exactly where he is. Peter’s curled up on the floor now, and he’s whispering to himself, fast and panicked, and as Tony gets closer he hears what the kid is saying: “When you run, you get punished—when you run, you—you get punished when you run—you get…”

“Peter,” he says quietly, kneeling beside the kid, “you’re okay, buddy, you’re safe, just remember where you are.”

“Where,” he chokes out, and the kid hits himself in the head suddenly, slapping himself so hard that it leaves a red mark on the side of his face, and it startles Tony badly enough that he freezes where he is, “wh-where, when you—”

Peter keeps mumbling and Tony just sits there dumbfounded as the mark on the side of his face reddens, blood rising to the surface of his skin, and then he winds up and smacks himself again, hard, on the side of his head. Tony can’t grab him—he won’t—God, he’d never seen Peter do this before. Was it agitation? Anger? Self-punishment? Did Charlie tell him to? “Don’t do that, Pete,” he blurts out, trying to stop him, “don’t—don’t hurt yourself, buddy, I hate to see you—”

Peter sobs into his hands then, gripping his face, gripping his hair, clawing at himself with such vigor that he’s leaving more red—pink lines down his face and his neck. “When—when you—when you run—”

“We’re not running,” he says quickly, pressing his hands against the floor, still a little disturbed by the way the kid’s taken violence to himself, “we’re just taking a little walk, that’s all, just a little walk through the Medbay, you know the Medbay, buddy, you’ve been here, right? Right, Pete?”

He’s still repeating that f*cking thing—Tony’s heard this before, heard Charlie make him say it.

“We don't have to go, buddy. We don’t have to go out there again.”

A small noise muffled into his arms.

“But it’s safe, I promise it’s safe. No one’s gonna” —Tony swallows— “punish you, no one’s gonna hurt you if you go out there.”

Peter seems so little like this, curled up into a tight little ball, hiding his face in his knees, his arms wound tight around his legs, afraid of the hallway and what it might contain.

“Punish you,” he echoes, this strangled whimper, and then he just goes quiet, hiding his face, his long hair drawing over his legs. “Punish you, punish you—”

That’s the only thing the kid’s focused on—this looking idea of punishment, so Tony says quickly, “Not today, okay? No one will hurt you today.”

Charlie did that a couple times—give the kid a break when he was too wounded to endure anything else. Those days were sometimes worse—the guy liked to move to psychological sh*t when he couldn’t physically hurt Peter.

(Once, he remembers, he told Peter to crawl to the door. If you make it out of the room, said the bearded man, in less than ten seconds, then I won’t touch a hair on your pretty little head today. Then he started counting down from ten like some f*cked-up teacher, and Peter just sat in the chair dumbfounded until seven. Around five he managed to get to the floor and start crawling bloody to the door. And by the time those ten seconds were up, Peter had made it three feet. Three feet. Not even close to the door. Charlie laughed at him then, a horrible slurred laugh, and stood over Peter as he begged and cried. Again, he said, and Peter just sobbed there on the floor.)

Peter just makes this horrible choked sound. “When you—when you run—when—when you run—”

“Pete,” he says softly, and Tony doesn’t know how to explain this to him. He doesn’t know if Peter would even understand. He gets it, though. It's the same reason Tony hesitated in the doorway of his lab.

Charlie taught him never to run away.

And Peter’s always been a fast learner.

“...get punished, when you—run, you get punished—when you run— punished, you get punished…”

“We’re not running ,” he says again. “I promise, Peter, we’re just… .”

And then the kid just starts slapping himself in the face like he’s trying to wake up, hitting himself in the forehead, and then he switches to a fist, punching himself in the side of the head with a closed hand, and again Tony doesn’t know what to do, so he blurts out, “Hey.” And the word’s much sharper than he meant it to be, but he’s not gonna grab the kid and force him to stop or scare him into something else, so this is his only tactic— “you remember your Aunt May?”

And Peter does stop, his hands stilling in his hair, breathing hard, gasping, squeezing his eyes closed and then open again like he’s trying to clear his vision. “Y-yeah,” Peter sobs.

“We gotta go see her, right? You wanna see her?”

“Yeah,” he manages a second time.

“Then we gotta get out in that hallway, buddy. Just for a second—and then you’ll see her, okay?”

A teary nod.

And so the two of them try again—and again—and somewhere around their eighth attempt, they manage to get all the way down the hallway, all the way into May Parker’s room.

Tony shuts the door behind them, making sure Peter hears that telltale click, and Peter’s on the floor again, curled up, gasping in deep breaths in an attempt to gather himself.

Peter chokes out that sentence a couple more times, pulling at his hair—and it seems, strangely, to calm him: “When—when you run, you run, you get punished, you…” And Tony just sits beside him, and waits for him to calm down, and eventually Peter comes back to himself, blinking tearily around, taking in the room, jerking away from Tony before he remembers where he is. “Medbay,” Peter says suddenly, and then he presses his hand into his eyes—shame comes over the kid in a muted wave. “Sorry, s-sorry, I’m—”

“It’s okay,” Tony prompts gently, kneeled on the floor beside him. “We’re just here for May, remember?”

Peter nods shakily, and then the kid forces himself into a standing position, clutching the wheeled pole for balance. In the middle of the room is May’s hospital bed, white-sheeted with a warm yellow comforter over it. Tony doesn’t know when someone put that there, or the colorful posters lining the walls, of eighties vinyl records strung up to the ceiling, of the massive bookshelf in one corner boasting rows of Star Trek novels. It was Pepper. It must’ve been Pepper.

“She’s been going in and out since you got back,” Tony says, watching as the kid looks at his unconscious aunt. “Sometimes awake, but mostly… She’s just tired, I think.”

Peter’s using the metal pole like some kind of cane, helping him forward, limping to her and he just stares . “This is real,” Peter says then, his voice barely a whisper of sound, “right?”

“Very real,” Tony says.

A long silence as he stares at May. He inches forward, a little further and a little further. “Doesn’t..feel…”

Tony asks, “Is there anything I can do to convince you?”

Peter shakes his head. “Just… Just… Don’t leave, okay?”

“I won't,” he says.

In the bed, May looks paler than usual, her brown hair tied back in braids, dressed in a hospital gown with a plastic nasal cannula strung across her face. But she still looks just the same.

“I could get someone to wake her,” Tony says, “if you want.” Anything you want, he thinks. Anything you want, anytime, for the rest of your life, Pete. Anything and everything.

His response is immediate, shaking his head. “No,” he whispers, like he’s trying not to wake a sleeping baby. “Don’t.”

“It's no problem,” Tony says. “Really, most of the nurses are live-in, i could call then right down—”

And now, Peter’s just shaking his head, clutching at that metal pole with both hands. “Don’t want her to see me,” he says, his eyes scanning over May's face, and his face breaks as he looks down at her sleeping form. “I know—I look—I’m a—I look like a—like a freak, like a—I’m a—” and then he’s crying into his hands.

“You’re not a freak,” he says,

Peter just shakes his head, muffled sobbing into his fingers.

“Peter,” he whispers, and when Tony moves closer, Peter backs up against the wall, that red sweatshirt pressing against the wall. “Peter, buddy, you’re not a freak—“

Peter’s just shaking his head and crying, and he’s back to not speaking again, tipping his head into his hands and pulling that broken knee up to his chest with a pained groan.

Tony’s watched Charlie say that hundreds of times to Peter—and that was just on camera. He remembers Charlie forcing him to say it like a confession, Peter choking out the words, and then Charlie patting his back when he did like a proud teacher. That’s right, Parker, he liked to say, you’re not even f*cking human! Little f*cking freak—YOU’RE f*ckING DISGUSTING! YOU’RE MADE FOR THIS sh*t, YOU SHOULD BE DEAD! YOU SHOULD BE DEAD!

That man —that crazy f*cking man, high on every drug imaginable, his mind ruined by addiction and abuse—he destroyed Peter. Tony watched and he watched as Peter started to give in—how he went from fighting and shouting, I’m okay! I’m okay! I’ll get us out of here! to going hollow and screaming like an animal every time he entered that horrible room.

And the thing is, that transition... It didn’t take too long at all.

Peter’s hugging that wheeled pole in lieu of a person, and curled up with his back to the wall, and he’s whispering now, “I… I want…” and then he just goes quiet and pushes his hand over his face, as though shielding it from Tony.

“What do you want, buddy?” Another sweatshirt? Pain meds? Cassie?

Peter looks hollow; he looks like someone's carved him like a pumpkin, scooping out his insides with a metal spoon. “A hug,” he whispers, and then ducks his head down, hair drifting, shame clear on his face.

Tony stills. Oh. “Yeah,” he says, and he tries not to move too fast. “Yeah, of course you can, anything you want…”

And then Peter moves back a little, shifting back against the wall, glancing towards the door. “Just a hug,” he says, his voice shaking.

Tony’s gut twists—a wave of nausea rolls over him. “I know,” he says, and he’s already seeing images on the back of his head, flashing through him— Peter, Peter, Peter… His hair, curling wet over his face as he struggles to stay awake, and he coughs up a burst of water, jerking against the cuffs—Charlie cackles beside him, and the kid flinches so badly that his head smacks against the back of the chair. He tries to cough out another word, and all that comes out is more water. “I know, I won’t—I won’t do anything else, buddy, you’re in control. It’s all you.”

And then he moves his hand to Peter, and the kid cringes so badly that his knee cracks and he lets out this horrible gasp of pain. “Sorry,” Peter whispers.

Taking away his hand, Tony quickly says back, “It’s okay, it’s totally okay. I'm not gonna touch you if you don’t want.”

Peter gives him this odd look, his eyebrows drawn in, and then quickly looks away.

He doesn’t really know where the kid’s mind is going. He’s read up on some of this—asked JARVIS about sexual abuse survivors, tried to figure out the best way to talk to him when he’s like this, and it always gave the same few answers: don’t cross physical boundaries, assure them you believe them, that there’s nothing wrong with them, and don’t force them to talk about it.

But honestly, Tony tries not to think much about that aspect of Peter's captivity. How many times it happened. If it was a calculated tactic made by Charlie to break Peter, or if it was just some guy getting his rocks off. And he doesn’t even know who it was. It could've been Charlie or the Chinese guy or the blond guy or even one of the dead ones—it could’ve been anyone . It could be someone who died at the Sandman’s hands—it could be someone they didn’t even catch. Who knows? Maybe it was another captive. That doctor, or Scott Lang, or someone Tony never even saw.

(He doesn’t think it was Scott Lang. He doesn’t. It’s just—he doesn’t know. He hates that he doesn’t know. No one knows for sure, only the police, and those reports are vague and unsure, too.)

Did Riri know about it? Why wouldn’t she tell him? Did Charlie know? Did Cassie?

Peter is scared of everything—so it’s difficult to tell what is a fear of physical violence and what’s a fear of the sexual kind. He supposes they overlap; they must. The sexual trauma they found on him when he first arrived—it was enough that the dark bruises remained for days afterward. He remembers what that one police officer said about the crime scene, too: Evidence of intercourse as close as an hour before law enforcement shower up. sem*n from multiple parties, pubic hairs, the like… God, even thinking about this is making Tony grow tense, making something grow heavy in his chest, sick and twisted, and Peter’s looking at him now like Tony’s gonna grab him and rip the red sweatshirt from his skinny shoulders.

So Tony tries to calm himself for the kid’s sake, dropping his hands loosely at his sides in some attempt to look less threatening, and he says, “You—you took back your consent, buddy—I’m—I’m not gonna do anything you don’t want.” Consent for a hug. Consent for a f*cking hug and still Peter was scared of him.

And Peter just shakes his head, and he shakes his head again, and he curls up his knees closer to his chest. “Sorry,” he chokes out.

“It’s okay,” he says, “there’s nothing to be sorry for, Pete, nothing at all.”

The kid whimpers out another apology.

So Tony inches his hand out between them, puts it there on May's hospital floor. A foot or so away from Peter, and he just leaves it there: an offering. “Better?” he asks.

He's expecting a nod or at least a whisper, but Peter just stares , his hands drawn up to his chest. One’s still casted from that time he broke out of his restraints—soft white padding covered in strips of red netting, hardened over, shiny silver wires threaded through—steel, so he doesn’t break the cast. “Better,” he whispers back.

And it takes a long time, but inch by inch, Peter sort of grabs onto Tony’s arm, looping in close. It’s not a hug, but it’s something of an equivalent, Peter just hugging Tony’s arm, and then eventually he just tips his face into it. “Don’t move,” he says, and Tony can feel his small, bony self tremble against his arm, “please don’t move, please don’t—”

“I’m not moving,” he says, although he can feel tears prick at his eyes, immeasurable pride for this kid, “I’m not going anywhere.”

And then Peter just cries into tony’s shoulder, and he cries, and he cries, gripping Tony’s arm like a lifeline, like a dog to a bone, like the edge of a cliff. And he cries, pressing his face into Tony’s clothed shoulder, holding it hard enough now that Tony thinks he might bruise. But he just sits there, unmoving, and whispers, gentle, “You’re okay, Pete, you’re okay… I’m right here…”

He can feel it there, the weight of the kid’s forehead pressing against his arm, the drift of his long hair, and Peter mumbles, “I have to go back, have to go back…”

“What?”

Tony forgets sometimes he’s not talking to Peter Parker the engineering intern, Peter Parker the amazing Spider-man, or even Peter Parker the regular—normal—kid. He’s talking to Peter Parker, who spent five months experiencing daily torture, who was brutally beaten every time he tried to escape, every time he fought back, every time he tried to stand up for himself. That Peter Parker has months of evidence that he’s never going to escape.

“Can’t—can’t stay here, I have to go back—have to go back—have to—”

“I told you, buddy,” he says, careful not to move, because Peter just hides his face again in Tony’s clothed arm. “They caught those guys, they’re in prison.”

“Have to,” he chokes out again, “I’m sorry, s-sorry, so-sorry…”

And Tony makes a mistake then—moving his hand towards him, and Peter cringes, staring at him wide-eyed, his breath catching on nothing, halting in his chest, like he’s expecting Tony to grab him by the throat and shake.

“It’s just me,” Tony tries. “I’m not gonna…”

But Peter’s already going, going blank, his mouth slightly open, swaying a bit like someone’s hit him.

God, he hates what they’ve done to his kid, how they’ve morphed him into this non-functional shell of a person, barely able to speak or move without horrific terror, so attached to a little girl that he’s barely cognitive unless she’s there with him.

Honestly, he’s a little relieved that Peter disassociated again. Watching him claw at comprehension is hard, watching him try and fail at understanding something so simple—even walking back to his room would’ve taken so much out of Peter… Now, at least he can actually touch the kid, provide him with some semblance of comfort. That’s all he wanted when he was in there. To touch him. To hold him. To tell him that he was gonna be okay.

Tony’s gotta get Peter back to his bed, so he picks the kid up carefully, gingerly, watching the broken leg, and carries him out of May Parker’s room like a little kid who’s fallen asleep at the end of a long car ride.

Tony walks him all the way back to the room, slow, forgoing his cane in May’s room, shuffling all the way. It’s a slow process, and the wheeled pole follows behind him, scraping slowly on the Medbay tile. In this state, somehow, Peter still knows it’s him—tipping his head a little into Tony’s chest, closing his eyes.

This is his kid.

He loves Pepper and he always will, and he’ll love the baby that comes out of her. But there is nothing in this world, absolutely nothing, that will take him from this wonderful, brave kid ever again.

WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 19 — 11:14 AM

The clothing seems, as much as Cassie, to help Peter remain grounded. Tony’s not sure why they didn’t think of it sooner—maybe because it was against Medbay protocol to have a long–term patient out of hospital wear—but now Peter’s wearing clothes constantly.

And with the amount of clothes he’s wearing, Tony thinks, horribly, He was cold? This whole time, he was cold? He rids that bin of its shorts and tanks, replacing them with more of Tony’s old sweatshirts and the Barton kids’ pajama pants. Everything in the bin’s been worn—which serves to make them softer, comfortable, like an old stuffed toy. And Peter wears layers of it—a long sleeved flannel over a soft-knitted sweater, long johns and sweatpants and two pairs of woolen socks.

Like he’s swaddling himself.

There’s not much more medical care to do these days anyway—just making sure he’s eating and improving, checking for infection, monitoring nutrition, bathroom usage, that broken leg… Mostly, they’re just trying to get him stronger, so the clothing isn’t an issue. They’re under instruction to cut off the clothes, anyway, at any sign of emergency.

One of the nurses complains about it—mentioning that it’s more time-consuming to adjust his central line—and Dr. Cho fires him on the spot. “I don’t care if it’s true,” she says calmly, “and I don’t care if it makes your life more difficult. If you can’t show empathy to this boy now, you shouldn’t be on his team.”

The nurse didn’t do anything wrong, not really, but the last thing Peter needs is a member of his medical staff giving him resentful looks and muttered complaints when he’s trying to heal.

Tony forgets sometimes how much he loves Helen Cho. “Helen,” he says, when the woman orders a binful of thermal wear for the kid—sweatshirts lined with heat-conserving thread, merino wool socks, thin cotton thermal pants he can wear beneath his sweatpants, “you’re a miracle worker. Honest to God, a f*cking Mother Teresa—you can do whatever you want for the rest of your life, go anywhere, and I’ll pay—”

“I sure hope so,” she says with this amused chuckle. And then she gives him this strange, solemn look, tilting her head a little. “You know, you sound more like yourself, Tony.”

He feels more like himself. With every day, Peter gets better, and Tony feels a bit more like his old self—like Tony Stark. “Thanks,” he says quietly.

The woman just nods, and then she adds, “I’m sorry about before—with Peter. I was really unfamiliar with psychiatry, or his psychiatric condition, and I wasn’t willing to learn. So I’m sorry. I certainly didn’t do him any favors.”

Tony smiles at her then, and he thinks about Peter—with that red MIT sweatshirt zipped all the way over his hospital gown, with the too-big sweatpants pulled over his skinny legs. Peter Parker, after everything he’s been through—pulling on a pair of black socks and wiggling his toes. “Even miracle workers make mistakes,” he says.

WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 19 — 4:09 PM

Peter’s staring at Tony's phone.

Tony’s trying to show him something, a video of May while she was awake, one she made for him. Peter keeps looking away, though, getting distracted by some small movement that makes him jump.

“Don’t know where mine is,” Peter says suddenly, quietly, his eyes on his own hands.

A long sentence, a solid one, and Tony warms with pride. “Your what?” he asks, pausing the video.

They’ve given the kid a series of knitted hats—although he only accepts the ones that Ned and MJ sent over—ones he recognizes. This one’s cable-knit with soft blue yarn, and he pulls at it nervously, trying to cover his head. His hair, long as ever, is hidden in the back of his hoodie, and the top of it disappears into his hat, only a few tangled strands snaking free. With his hair all hidden, he looks different—more like a kid. More like the old Peter, maybe.“Maybe…” Peter starts, very quietly, “...it’s still in the car.”

His phone, Tony realizes. He’s asking about his phone.

Tony wasn’t there to see the car crash—and he refuses to watch the footage—but Pepper has explained to him how Peter’s kidnapping actually occurred: how Peter and May were on their way to dinner, how a truck T-boned them with such force that the car flipped over several times, how May never made it out of the car but Peter was dragged bodily out, how Peter fought six men after he’d been drugged and incapacitated four before they took him down.

He supposes it could be in the car; the more likely scenario, however, was that one of Charlie’s thugs took it from the vehicle and destroyed it so it couldn’t be traced.

“We can get you another one,” prompts Tony. “The newest. StarkPhone, iPhone, whatever floats your boat, buddy. You want a new one?”

And he’s expecting Peter to say something like That’s a great idea, Mr. Stark! or Wow, that would be so cool! or Okay, but no Androids! but instead he says nothing and stares at Tony’s phone where it’s sitting in his lap.

And eventually, eventually, he just shrugs.

WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 19 — 8:22 PM

At some point, Tony returns to May's room when she’s awake. She's there with Pepper, who is speaking to her in a low voice. He didn’t realize they were friends—probably more, honestly, than he and May are. “You’ve been…taking care…of him…” May says, her voice dry.

“Yeah,” he says. “As best I can.”

Peter hasn't yet visited May while she's awake—but these things take time, and May knows that.

The kid’s aunt manages a small weary smile. “I wish…it were me…” she says, “but…I’m glad…it’s you.”

THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 20 — 9:37 AM

Peter has started to willingly leave Cassie for a few minutes at a time—before he does, he always gives the little girl a series of strict instructions, whispers, mutters, some that they can hear and some they can’t. And then Peter looks her straight in the face, kisses her forehead once, and then hugs her tightly. He’ll look very peculiarly at Maggie Paxton, some kind of mutual understanding passing between them.

And then he’ll leave, making the anxiety-inducing trek with Tony at his side, limping badly, using the wheeled IV pole to help himself along.

He’ll sit beside May’s bed, ask Tony several times if he’s sure she’s asleep, and then he’ll just stay there and watch her. “I can wake her,” Tony keeps saying. “Buddy, she wants to see you—she’ll always want to see you.”

And Peter just shakes his head, and he’ll pull that knitted hat over his head, and just go quiet.

THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 20 — 1:50 PM

Matt Murdock and his partner Foggy Nelson come back Thursday afternoon to update them about the arraignment.

“I thought it wasn’t until…” Tony starts, and then he realizes— Sunday. That’s in three days. “Oh, God.”

“Three days,” says Murdock slowly, his red-colored glasses shining slightly. “Sunday. But we need to start preparing Peter for the—”

Tony interrupts, “I thought you said—a video conference, that he could just give his statement.”

Matt Murdock rubs a hand across his forehead. “I thought they’d let it slide—because of how much Peter has endured, I even showed them pictures—but the law is as the law is, Tony. All enhanced people or non-enhanced vigilantes must be physically present in court, defense or prosecution.”

It feels like a physical punch to the chest. “No,” he says. “Matt—Matt, he can’t.

The man winces. “I know,” he says. “It’s gonna be hard, but—”

“Hard?” Tony whispers. “ Hard?”

The lawyer grimaces. “We don’t have a choice. Listen to me—the Stark Seven have gotten a legal team.”

Beside him, Pepper sits up a little straighter. “How many?” she asks.

“Six lawyers,” he says, “seven, if you count the man leading—Norman Osborn.”

Tony’s heard the name before—but he can’t remember where it comes from. Pepper seems to remember, though, because she breathes in sharply. “Oh, God,” she whispers. “Osborn?”

Murdock glances at Tony and, reading his confusion, says, “They call him the Green Goblin. Green for the suits he wears, and Goblin for his… Well, his courtroom demeanor. He’s…not a kind man. He’s known for cases like these—massive, press-heavy kinds of cases, and not for the good side. Usually for millions and millions of dollars. And as long as he gets paid, and especially if he is paid in contingency fees, which he usually requires.” His face sours. “Most lawyers aren’t in it for the money, Ms. Parker. But the ones that are—they’ll do anything to win.”

“Do we need more?” Pepper asks. “Lawyers?”

Matt shakes his head. “You don’t want to seem like you’re trying to intimidate the jury or the defense. That would not look good for Peter.”

“But Keene’s doing it—”

“But they’re not enhanced , Ms. Potts. In a court of law, in recent law, the enhanced person is always seen as intimidating the other side, even if they’re technically the victim. It’s just the way it is.” Foggy Nelson, the blond one, is typing something into his computer as Murdock continues to speak. “Enhanced law isn’t easy—we’re going to do the best we can. But unfortunately, Peter will have to appear in court on Sunday. And the defense will be there, too— all of them. They’re required to by law.”

“But Peter—” Tony tries.

“I know,” he says, and the lawyer just looks tired. Everyone, it seems, who has viewed Peter’s files has that same look in their eyes—a weary, horror-stricken look—and that includes Matt Murdock. “I tried to find a way around it, but… Peter has to appear in court. I’m sorry.”

THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 20 — 4:42 PM

Peter’s new fixation on clothing, although helpful to his cognitive state, does create one major problem—it interferes with Peter’s bathing. So yet again, Tony has to speak with him about it. “You can do it yourself,” says Tony, and Peter gives him that horrible look again, “but we just have to make sure, with the central line, that you’re clean—”

The kid’s already getting upset, going taut, and Tony hates that he’s done this to him, made him crook that broken knee up to his chest, made him curl up and cry and just nod, like Tony's forcing him to take a knife to himself.

Still, they have to bathe him. So Tony leaves him with his nurse, who looks terribly apologetic, and she removes his clothes one at a time in order to bathe him a little bit at a time.

“I'm sorry,” Nurse Kaelyn says as she works, and Peter’s just watching her with this horribly dull gaze, and Kaelyn pulls out the first wipe and says with contained upset, “I’m on your right side, Peter, I’m just gonna start with your leg and work my way up.”

And she grabs him, wiping smoothly, and the kid stiffens and relaxes like he’s fighting himself, gripping onto the bed-railing with one hand and looking away. And she doesn’t know when it actually happens—when his mind decides to click off—but it does, and somewhere when she’s working on his chest she looks up at him and he’s just gone , sweat shining on his forehead, blinking blankly, tiredly up at the ceiling.

And as she goes, Peter sort of grabs Kaelyn’s arm, his eyes down, and just grabs on tight. He’s still silent, still mentally gone, but there’s something of Peter there because he’s holding on tightly to her. “You need something?” she asks, and she quickly glances up at his monitors—other than an elevated heart rate, the kid is fine.

“Not her,” the boy says in this strange, breathy croak, and then he shakes a little, and he starts to stroke her arm with his hand, up and down—

Firmly, Kaelyn shoves the kid away from her; Peter Parker just curls in on himself then, a small whimpery sound leaving him, and he shuts his eyes.

She leaves quickly, carefully, a little shaken.

And unfortunately, she has to report that, too.

It’s not the first time something like this has happened with Peter Parker—and it certainly won’t be the last. No one’s suing the hospital, no one’s angry with Peter for what’s happened. They understand why; it’s just… It doesn’t get any easier, even after all this time.

“Again?” whispers Tony Stark, as she informs him. “Oh, god…”

THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 20 — 8:55 PM

Cassie’s hiding under the bed again. She’s been doing it more and more—she feels safe there, all the way by the wall, curled into it, tracing the scratched-up wall with her fingers. She finds solace in the words they wrote. She knows she can’t be hurt as long as she’s under the bed.

Now, Peter doesn’t have to tell her to go. She just does.

When they drag Peter back, his leg is bleeding, gurgling blood. He doesn’t have a shirt anymore—they tore it to shreds. He goes around bare now, half-naked, an animal. His jeans are nearly falling off of him. It’s only a matter of time before he loses those, too.

They took a scalpel to him today, made horribly long cuts down an open patch of skin on his lower thigh. He tries to imagine them as something cooler—claw marks from a bear, scratches from Wolverine, slices from a ninja fight. What would he say if someone asked him? Oh yeah, these? Cool, huh? Got these while sitting in a chair. A bearded guy took a scalpel and cut me up like a Christmas ham. Sexy.

Peter never really thought much about how he looked. He knew he was no Brad, but he was fine with how he looked. He hadn’t really dated much at all, unless he’s counting Skip, and Skip never commented much on his appearance—he was a quiet guy, only ever talking when he wanted Peter to do something. May always called him handsome, though, and Ben called him a regular David Cassidy, whoever that was. He knew MJ liked him—not that she’d like him much anymore with all these horrible scars on him. Who’d want to look at that?

He doesn’t remember when he hit this point—where he realized how ugly he probably looked—somewhere after the second week, maybe, when Charlie cut into his face. Charlie was always saying it, too: GOD, YOU’RE SO f*ckING DISGUSTING—WHO WANTS TO LOOK AT YOU, HUH? STARK—YOU SEEING THIS? THAT’S PUNISHMENT ENOUGH, HA!

Now, MJ would probably take one look at him and puke; even Ned would probably wince and look away.

Now, Peter’s just a piece of f*cked-up meat. Now, he’s just ugly.

“That looks bad,” Cassie says, staring down at his leg.

And his first thought is— yeah, I agree, it’s really f*cking ugly . And then Peter realizes she means it looks like it hurts, because she’s already digging through the Treasure Chest to find some antiseptic that Haroun gave them last week.

“Needle, too, Cass,” he says, his voice shaky.

He hates doing this.

“Peter.”

Tony’s looking at him like he knows exactly what he’s thinking. And Peter just feels it—the shame come over him like a blanket—he knows. He knows, he knows, he knows, he knows what you’ve done, he knows. “We don’t have to do this if you don’t want to,” he says. “It’s up to you, buddy.”

But he wants to. May’s there—she’s right there, and he wants to know that she’s okay.

“Yeah,” Peter manages, and he squeezes his eyes shut. She’s gonna hate you—SHE WON’T—SHE LOVES YOU—MAY LOVES YOU—

but you didn’t save her, did you? You left her in that car to rot. You left her there to die. You’re Spider-Man, you’re not a hero anymore, you’re just a freak, a pathetic f*cking freak, and you didn’t save her—

He hits himself hard on the side of the head, and the thoughts dissipate amongst the pain, and beside him, Tony makes a sharp noise— “Peter. Peter, don’t do that.”

He pulls down hard on the hat on his head, yanks it down tight over his hair. “Sorry,” he mumbles, “sorry, sorry…” May loves you, May loves you, she’s always loved you, right? She’ll forgive you, she’ll forgive you, she loves you— HOW COULD ANYONE LOVE YOU LIKE THIS? LOOK AT YOU! YOU’RE UGLY, YOU’RE f*ckING PATHETIC! A FREAK—A STUPID FREAK— AND YOU’RE NEVER GETTING OUT OF HERE—

“Peter,” comes that steady whisper again, and Peter feels something cool inside his chest. “Hey, we can try it another day, if you want.”

Terror clenches at him, worry and worry and he squeezes his eyes shut again. He wants to see her. He does. He has to see her.

But what if she hates him? What if she doesn’t forgive him? What if she takes one look at him and sours, spitting out how pathetic and freakish he is?

What if she doesn’t love him anymore?

THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 20 — 9:46 PM

Although Peter has made this trek now several times, it is difficult for Peter to make his way down the hallway this time. He keeps panicking and turning back. He draws his hood over his hair, hiding it, and he collapses several times on his bad leg, the knee buckling beneath his weight even as he limps. He’s distracted, moving like a wounded animal, stopping in a random empty room and panicking so wildly that Tony has to remind him where he is.

Maybe this isn’t the best day for this. “We could go back,” Tony suggests again, and again, and again. “No one’s gonna make you do this, Peter, no one’s gonna make you see her.”

The kid’s trembling with the force of his terror, dragging his fingernails over his face and over the back of his neck, back against the wall, curled up against it like usual.

And at last, at last, Peter makes it inside.

May’s already awake by the time Peter and Tony enter. She’s awake more and more these days, a couple hours each day now, mostly too tired to do anything other than sit up, stretch, and listen to some light reading.

But Pepper told May that Peter was coming—so she’s here, she’s awake, and she’s lying down on the bed and looking at Peter with this wonderful, proud smile. She’s tired—very tired—pale with exhaustion, but she’s there. “Hey…tough guy,” she croaks.

Peter, still clutching that wheeled pole for support, rocks back on his heels. He glances back at Tony, who’s standing at the door like some kind of guard, and Tony just nods at him— it’s okay, kiddo. Go ahead.

Turning back to his aunt, he takes one limping, careful step towards her, and then another one. “May?” he whispers.

She’s smiling again, and it’s filled with this knowing sadness, and Peter keeps hiding his face, ducking his head, and some of his hair comes loose from his hooded sweatshirt. Beneath it, his hospital gown hangs, visible, over a warm pair of flannel pants. And he keeps hiding, ducking his face away, and failing to hide himself behind the wheeled metal pole, avoiding her eyes, and she says, her voice dry and croaky, “Oh, don’t…don’t hide your face, baby…lemme…lemme see your…your beautiful face…”

And the kid just sobs. “May—”

“It’s okay,” she whispers, incredibly gentle in a way Tony has never, ever managed to be. “You’re okay, baby, I’ve seen it all before…” It’s a thing moms say to their embarrassed teenagers in changing rooms, something fathers say to kids who won’t get in the bathwater—and it’s what May says to Peter now as he attempts to hide his extensive scarring from her.

And he chokes out another sound, but he moves closer, finally shifting his hands away, and May just takes his face in her hands like something tender—and Peter melts into it. “Oh, baby,” she says,

“Somebody hurt you,” she whispers, scanning his face. “Oh, Peter, oh, baby, come here…”

Peter’s face crumbles; he doesn’t manage to do anything else other than cry helplessly.

“My beautiful boy,” she says, “come here, come on…” And she pats the bed like mothers do in the mornings, knowing that her kid will jump right in—and Peter does.

The kid just sobs, staggering forward, and he climbs into the hospital bed next to her with some pain, and he just falls into her arms—and she takes him right in, cradling him like he’s small. May’s barely able to move, but Peter doesn't seem to notice, burying his frail self into her side, and she just makes this small sound—and shes crying, too, blinking back a sudden rush of tears. And although she's been in a coma—for months, she's been barely responsive—still the kid's aunt manages to drag her hand up and down Peter’s back, whispering, "Oh, my beautiful boy, you're alright, I'm here, I'm here..." and press a shaky kiss to the top of his head, her face shiny with tears—and she breathes a tired sob into her son's hood, and she draws it back with one hand, making Peter clutch closer at her hospital gown.

"May," he chokes out one more time, and she just shushes him, shushes him, pressing another kiss to his bared head, to the mangled dark hair there. Pulling her arm around him, holding Peter close, she reaches his face—the scarred side, where his ear was burned away.

And she presses a wonderful, gentle kiss right there, too. "My beautiful boy," she whispers. "My beautiful, perfect boy..."

Peter sobs again, desperate, apologetic, shallow heaves of sobs, something unintelligible releasing from within him, and he just curls into her like a little kid.

FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 21 — 11:51 AM

And then it’s Friday—only two days before the court date.

Two days before Peter has to face those bastards in court; before he has to be in the same room as the people who tortured him so badly he can’t bring himself to speak more than a sentence at a time, so badly that he talks about being punished every time he leaves a room, so badly that he can hardly bear to be touched.

“You have to tell him,” Pepper says, gently, and her hand is there, steady, on the top of his back. They're standing outside Peter's hospital room, watching the kids play through the window in the door. “You can’t blindside him with this kind of thing, Tony. It's too much.”

Tony stares miserably at his kid, who has finally started to settle in. They’ve been putting it off for so long— it’s not like he has to say much, just his name and a yes and a no and a of course, Your Honor. But still. It’s almost time.

Pepper adds, “I know it’s gonna be hard—he’s not gonna take it well—but he, well, he has to be there, sweetheart.”

But he’s made so much progress , Tony wants to complain. He's… he’s talking, he’s leaving the room, he’s hugging his Aunt May… He’s playing with Legos, for God’s sake. He’s doing so well.

But the government—the judge, the jury, Secretary Ross—none of them give a sh*t about the progress Peter had made, or the trauma he’ll have to endure from seeing the people who tortured him.

“I know,” Tony says, in this hollow whisper.

He glances inside the room through the door’s window as Peter stares at one of those Happy-Meal-turned-care-package-boxes, prying open the cardboard. The kid glances around the room, finding only Cassie on the bed with him, and pulls out the blue Lego box, examining it like a dog would a new chew toy. And with another wary glance around, Peter takes it and gives it to the little girl. He and Cassie are on the bed then, sitting there together, and Cassie shakes the box, spilling Legos out onto the bedspread: plastic blocks are everywhere. They’ll probably lose some in the sheets, and others onto the floor—but neither of them seem to notice or care. Now, Pete’s got one hand on Cassie’s back, and he’s whispering to her, and Cassie’s putting the Legos together, and then he is, too.

“Just…” Tony adds, with this miserable glance through the glass at that wonderful kid, “a little bit longer.”

Notes:

<3 lmk what u think and also any typos/suggestions/stuff u hate

see u next tuesday <3

Chapter 46: might not be alone

Summary:

i'm back bitches

Notes:

hey sorry for the impromptu hiatus. this is not gonna b the chapter ur expecting but it’s the chapter ur getting. stay mad lol

wasn't planning on a break. i go to a college that kind of parties hard and i do too and i got really drunk a while ago, sometime after my last post, was seeing a girl. went up to her room, passed out, and i’m sure you can imagine the rest. kinda f*cked up. rly weird having this happen so close to graduation. and my friends already think i’m a f*cking alcoholic and kind of a whor* lol so. she’s in a class with me too. kinda f*cked up. i rly liked that class.

yep so life is weird rn, but glad to post this, probably will get back to the old schedule lol. sorry sorry for the wait

have a good read

chap title from 'everybody dies' by billie

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 21 — 12:30 PM

It’s Friday. The court day looms over them like a literal storm, dark and cloudy and shrouding any sense of light they had in the days before. Two days, and Peter will have to stand in a courtroom. Two days, and Peter will have to see those bastards again.

But it’s lunch time, so for now—Peter and Cassie are playing in the bed with their Legos, and for a split second Cassie has a can of mandarin oranges awaiting her and she plays with Legos for a second too long—choosing play over food. Peter still eats quickly, though, maniacally, eating so fast he’s practically inhaling it. When they’re done, they return to the toys.

They’ve gotten to this point of partial normalcy now—and Tony really, really doesn’t want to lose it. Peter’s reassured now, that when he returns to his hospital room that Cassie will be there. He’s begun to trust the meals that come—and the toys with it. He even trusts, somewhat, that Tony and the other parents won’t hurt Cassie.

They’ve been working on Peter’s mobility, too; they need him to be able to walk for the hearing, because he refuses to sit in a wheelchair. But the kid still can’t make it more than a hundred feet without collapsing, so they put a brace on his leg, one that allows him some bending but doesn’t put as much pressure on the broken bones there. Getting it on should take a couple minutes, but instead it takes an hour, Peter pulling at it every time, breaking off anything he can and ruining the clasps with his super-strength. “Peter, leave it,” he says gently.

He does at first, taking his hand straight off it; it’s clear that he doesn’t like having it on him, though, and when Tony’s back is turned, he breaks the first one right off.

“He doesn’t like those,” Cassie says quietly, as Tony is talking with Peter—he can hear their voices from somewhere behind him.

“Doesn’t like what, honey?” Maggie Paxton asks.

She takes her stuffed animal then, that stuffed striped zebra, and maneuvers it carefully in her lap; then little Cassies stares down at it for a moment, her face going a little slack and squeezes the zebra’s leg, hard. And she says, in that small voice, “The doctor gave him those, too.”

They know not to ask follow up questions—not now, not when everything’s so fragile, but Tony can’t help it— “And then what happened?” he asks, and Maggie twists her head at him, hissing his name—he ignores her.

Cassie picks at the zebra’s fur with her little fingers. “Charlie broke it.”

And Tony remembers it—a rush of memory hits him like a f*cking truck—

On the television, someone’s dragging Peter to the chair, hand wrapped around his upper arm—Peter’s limping fast, trying to keep up, but this time there’s something on his leg: a plaster cast, white and solid, all the way up from his foot to his thigh. Charlie’s dropped the phone by now—he’s snorting up another batch of white dust off his knife, swipes the rest out with his finger and shoves it into his pink-and-bloody gums. When he sees Peter, he stalks to the door. “The f*ck is this?” snaps Charlie, heading towards the kid, and Peter jerks backwards, only to be forced forward again by the guard. “Parker! PARKER!”

Charlie grabs the kid by the collar of his shirt and drags him up—Peter pushes at him, Charlie shakes him violently, and the kid stops pushing at all. “THE f*ck IS THIS, HUH? DOC THINKS HE CAN PROTECT YOU? IS THAT IT?”

Peter’s shaking his head—and the kid’s already crying, even as he tries to stay brave—and shaking, and Charlie hits him with his other hand, a slap, hard, a crack! that Tony can hear over the phone. “f*ckING ANSWER ME!”

Once Peter finally gargles out a satisfactory answer from his bleeding mouth, Charlie sniffs loudly—there’s still a smear of white dust under one nostril. “I’ll teach him—doc thinks he can stop me?” He chokes out a vicious laugh. “NO ONE CAN PROTECT YOU, PARKER—I’M IN CHARGE! I AM! WHO’S IN CHARGE, PARKER?”

There it is—a flash of defiance in the kid’s eyes, fury visceral in him. With tears still drying on his bruised face, shining, Peter—stupid, brave, wonderful Peter—just clamps his mouth shut.

Charlie’s eyes go wild, pupils expanding as the drug he took sinks into him, and he co*cks his head to the side, grasping harder in Peter’s torn-up jumpsuit—and hits him— “ANSWER ME! f*ckING ANSWER ME!”—and hits him again, even harder, his fist a flash of color—and his ring leaves a streak of red across Peter’s left cheek—and another, and another, until the side of his face is bloody and Peter’s gargling out red, his hands flailing up to protect himself only to be easily pinned above his head with Charlie’s bloody hand, both wrists clamped in Charlie’s meaty fingers. “SAY IT! f*ckING SAY IT!” he snarls, spittle flying onto Peter’s bloody cheek.

With both arms pinned above him, he curls his head to his chest, trying to shy away from another hit. “Y-you—”

Charlie clamps down harder on his wrists. “WHO’S IN CHARGE!”

“You,” Peter chokes out, eyes squeezed shut. Red comes in slow trails from nose right into his mouth and then follows down his chin, down his neck, and disappears under his collar.

Charlie releases him then, and the kid drops like a f*cking stone onto the ground, groaning now, shielding the left side of his face with a shaky hand. Charlie’s screaming again, something incoherent, and Peter’s crawling away on his arms—one of them is broken from yesterday, Tony thinks, because Peter keeps faltering beneath it, dragging himself forward on his knees with one hand to prop himself up. The other he now holds crooked to his chest, cradling. He’s gasping, and his face is half-bloody now, ruined by Charlie’s fist, and still he crawls, frantic and broken, away from the crazed man.

(Tony can see it in his face—the sheen in his eyes, the flare of his nose, the cringe in his jaw. Peter knows what’s about to happen. They both know what’s about to happen. At this point, he’s just prolonging the inevitable.)

Charlie stalks to the crawling kid and grabs him then—by the f*cking hair, he grabs him—a fistful of tangled brown hair, and he yanks him up with such violence that Peter shrieks, grabbing uselessly up at Charlie’s hands.

It’s not hard to shove him in and strap him down; the kid’s much too weak to fight back, and barely willing to do much more than strain at the cuffs—so they manage to get him locked into the chair with some ease. The kid’s chest heaves—a terrified breath, and then another—and his casted leg sticks out awkwardly from the chair, pointed out straight. “MASON! HAMMER, NOW!”

Peter thrashes suddenly, violently—with a wild scream—so hard that he smacks his head against the chair, so hard that it cracks audibly. “No—NO—NO, PLEASE—”

Mason shuffles up to his boss, handing him the massive thing, and Charlie waves it in the air like a f*cking trophy. “Doc’s gotta learn, too!” he says, in a near-cheery voice, waving it back and forth, swinging it around. “Doc’s gotta learn, right, Parker?”

Peter flinches at his own name, and he looks quickly to the camera and back. “Wait—” he tries, and his eyes go impossibly wide, glistening in the light of fluorescent bulbs overhead, as Charlie raises that hammer, “wait, wait, wait —”

Charlie swings it down, and there’s a whiff of sound as it comes, then a crunch of plaster and bone, and Peter howls like something dead—

Tony looks at the kid now. How could he have forgotten that? So many moments, all buried somewhere in his f*cked-up mind. Peter cuffed to that chair, Peter curling up on that cement floor, Peter dragged sideways against the wall by his long hair, Peter slumped forward with his head hanging down. “Oh,” he says.

There’s a dark spread of sparse hair over the girl’s head now, although it’s still patchy in places. “Charlie always breaks it,” Cassie says, looking down at the steel-vibranium brace with some twist in her face.

(They dragged Peter everywhere by the end. To the chair and back. He could barely move; by the end, they didn’t even need to strap him down. Sometimes Charlie would drop him on the ground and beat him there, just because he could. They only put him in the chair to scare him.)

And for the next hour, they keep trying, encouraging Peter to move with his new brace, to try to walk around the room, but all that does is make him more guarded, and he’ll curl up on the bed with Cassie, guarding her with his thin, weary arms, and start glancing between Helen and Tony like he doesn’t remember who they are.

After lunch, Matt Murdock and his partner return to the Tower for another meeting.

They’re in his makeshift office—Murdock and his partner Foggy Nelson, as well as Pepper and Tony sitting across from them. Rhodey and Steve Rogers at the door, too. And they’re arguing—as per usual, they’re arguing.

Tony rubs his eyes. “Aren’t there—there are ways around this, right? A determining competence thing?”

Murdock grimaces, his mouth forming a thin line. “A competency evaluation? Those are for defendants, not witnesses.”

“But there’s something like that?” Tony presses on. “Right? We could disqualify him from… from testifying? People do that sometimes, right?”

Murdock takes in a small, grounding breath. “Yes and no. It has happened, yes—but only with witnesses that were so…disoriented or so…delayed that they couldn’t express themselves at all. They call kids to the stand, Tony, as young as four—they call seniors with dementia, drug addicts, mentally ill, anyone …” He shakes his head. “Peter has as much competence as anyone else. They won’t disqualify him.”

He can feel it there in his chest, that want for some peace, the desire for one more day of nothing before Peter’s dragged off to court. But it’s time. It’s time. “But he’s just a witness,” he says helplessly. “He…”

The blind man adjusts his glasses again, and his eyes drift away from Tony’s—like a sadness, a physical one. “An enhanced witness,” says the man. “So thanks to Ross, the law says he’s dangerous. They’re not gonna put him in handcuffs, but—”

“Why the hell would they put him in handcuffs?” Tony asks.

“It’s not uncommon for the enhanced side to want some just some precautionary measures,” Foggy adds, shifting uncomfortably beside his friend. “You understand, to make sure nothing happens—but they will have to give him at least a bodyguard, some security… And they can’t allow you to go without it.”

“Not an option,” Murdock says, bringing forth another sheet of paper. “They gave us a list of options—acceptable bodyguards, and if you don’t pick, they’ll just pick for you.”

Tony’s about to ask What kind of list? but the man in the red glasses just passes it across the table to him. At the top of the list, several superheroes he knows, as well as a list of enhanced soldiers, and the rest are the names he’s never seen before.

“Someone enhanced,” adds Murdock, wincing, “Or an enhanced equivalent, that’s what they require. Pick two, and we’ll get them all worked out for court on Sunday.”

Tony glances up at Rhodey, who’s standing in the corner, and his friend grimaces. “Me?” he says, voice withdrawn.

Murdock nods. “You, him” —the lawyer points a little with a slight motion at Steve Rogers, who’s standing with his arms folded in the doorway— “...and whoever else they pick. A couple soldiers, others—but I’m sure you'd rather have one of you instead of some random enhanced fed.”

Tony is shaking his head. “They should be the ones in cuffs,” he says with this croaky shout, a stab of his hand in the air. “They should be the ones with f*cking security measures, they should be the ones in f*cking handcuffs.”

“They will be,” says Murdock gently.

They go over more things, too—what they each have to say to the judge, where they’ll stand, what order they’ll go in. Apparently, they’ve gone over some of this before—Tony doesn’t remember it, though.

“So,” Murdock says, once Steve and Rhodey have left the office, “I saw the cast you put on the kid—that’s good.”

“A leg brace,” corrects Pepper.

“Right,” he says. “You’re going to want to keep that up—more casts, braces, medical tape, anything. Leave his hair, show off his scars—you want him to seem as non-threatening as possible.”

Beside Tony, Pepper nods, her hand over her stomach; Tony just gapes. “You want us to—to—to fake it?”

Murdock tilts his head. “A little. The worse he looks, the kinder they’ll be. And we want them to be kind.”

They talk a little more—about actual charges, both federal and state, until tony’s exhausted from the legal jargon and antsy to see Peter, and at last Murdock lets out this strained sigh and adds, “There’s something else we need to talk about.”

Tony knows what it means when Murdock gets that tone is his voice—a heavy, gutted tone, like he’s just been punched in the stomach. He knows what they’re about to talk about, and he can feel it pull painfully at his skull, bury deep in his gut like a knife.

“You remember what we talked about before—dropping most of the charges?”

Tony nods. “Yeah.”

Murdock continues, “Well, for Peter we’re dropping everything—everything except for one charge—

“Everything?” he says. How will they get the Seven in prison if they’re dropping most of the charges?

“Yes” Murdock says. “With Peter’s…condition, I doubt he’ll last very long on the stand. Even if the trial’s a year from now—I’ve seen it happen before—victims kill themselves before this kind of thing, just so they don’t have to testify. I don’t want him up there any longer than he has to be.”

Tony nods.

(Truly, he’s barely listening. He never thought he’d get to this place—where Peter was safe, where Tony was free of the lab, where they were discussing how to prosecute the f*ckers who bloodied Peter every day for five months straight.)

“...now, the sex crimes. Sex trafficking, abuse, the works. Those are our most important charges—”

“Trafficking?” he says, fast.

Matt Murdock braces his hand against his face. “Let me finish, Tony. Forensic evidence uncovered one man who probably committed the majority of the sex crimes against Peter. According to the witness—”

“Riri?”

“Yes,” he says. “According to her, there was—at the very least, one man who sexually abused Peter during his captivity.”

Foggy Nelson adds, “His name is Quentin Beck.”

The name sounds vaguely familiar. “Is he.. The name sounds vaguely familiar. “Is he… Did he…” The realization sinks, deep in his belly like a stone. “He worked for me.”

Murdock grimaces, and Foggy Nelson passes him an envelope. “Until a couple years ago, yes. Fired for—”

“He assaulted some kid,” Tony says, and he feels sick just talking about it. “A middle schooler—I remember. Security caught him with the kid in his office.” He swallows. “He was…in there? With Peter?”

Murdock nods. “It’s a bit more complicated than that, though. Apparently, Beck was communicating with someone who alerted him about the whole Keene project. There’s text records, call history… This guy was the one paying for everything, supplying Keene and the rest with drugs, working coverup jobs…”

“Who?”

“We don’t know quite yet.”

Foggy Nelson adds, “Supplier kept a pretty low profile—everything was untraceable.”

Tony knew this, too. He’d mentioned it to the police officers when they’d questioned him— There was someone else running the show, he’d said, again and again and again. And when they’d asked him who, he didn’t have anything to give them. Riri never told him who it was—just implied it: that someone had supplied Charlie Keene with the money, the supplies, the drugs, even the injections of super soldier sedative they’d used on Peter. And most importantly, access to a federally owned former HYDRA building. The bunker.

Someone encouraged Keene to do this—it wasn’t even that crazy man’s idea. Keene was just a guy—this mystery supplier was something else entirely. Someone with access to federal buildings, enough money to drown a couple dozen addicts in PCP, enough to pay Beck and five soldiers to get involved, enough to hack FRIDAY and pay Charlie and his gang to kidnap Peter Parker, Scott Lang, and Cassie, too.

Someone with enough power and enough malice to look the other way when someone raped Peter Parker.

“According to the bank records,” says Murdock quietly, “there was an original payment made to Quentin Beck right before he originally arrived. And then he contacted the supplier, and they had this series of text messages.” Foggy passes Tony a sheet of paper: printed out messages in green bubbles. “They found this on Beck’s phone.”

Text messages. Dozens of them. Tony reads the paper:

BECK: [Hold on how are you gonna keep stark pinned down if potts is still up and moving]

UNKNOWN: [we got his kid]

BECK: [ts has a kid???]

UNKNOWN: [nephew or something. intern. enhanced apparently]

BECK: [of course he does, stark f*cked his way through the eighties there’s no way he didn’t have a love kid.]

UNKNOWN: [no like an actual kid. teenager]

BECK: [wow how old?]

UNKNOWN: [idk not my problem] [they knock him around once a day and stark squeals like a kicked puppy] [kinda fun having stark under my boot]

BECK: [i bet] [can i get a pic]

UNKNOWN: [of who] [stark?]

BECK: [the kid]

UNKNOWN: [IMG_1321.HEIC]

BECK: [god he’s young] [how old is he again?]

UNKNOWN: [the f*ck does it matter]

BECK: [whatever] [and he’s like under total lock and key?]

UNKNOWN: [not going anywhere, the hackers kid too]

BECK: [there’s two??]

UNKNOWN: [yeah and that one’s all over the goddamn news cuz the parents won’t leave well enough alone]

BECK: [how old]

UNKNOWN: [a girl, q, so keep your dick in ur pants]

BECK: [f*ck you]

There’s another series of messages, too, dated weeks later.

BECK: [if you let me do what i want to the kid you can take a million off my pay]

UNKNOWN: [which one]

BECK: [the boy]

UNKNOWN: [yeah sure]

BECK: [perfect]

UNKNOWN: [how far is stark on that weapon]

BECK: [not far enough]

That’s where the printed messages end.

“He paid the supplier,” Tony realizes and he’s feeling sicker by the second, like there’s something broiling in him. “He paid him… to…”

“To have sex with Peter,” Murdock says solemnly. “Yes.”

Tony’s having trouble breathing. “He worked for me,” he echoes. “God, he worked for me.”

He remembers that guy—brown hair with a scruffy brown beard, tall with dark eyes. Beck. A predator. The kid’s family didn’t want him going through the legal process, and the kid refused to say anything after it had happened, so his legal team dropped it, paid the family thousands to try to make up for what had happened. Things like that didn’t usually happen at Stark Industries—Tony knew too many people who had suffered like that, too many to ever look the other way. He met with the kid himself, shook his hand. A sweet kid, interesting in engineering. His name was Miles. Miles Morales.

“...understand now, Tony?” Murdock is saying. “Legally, that’s sex trafficking. Because Beck paid the supplier for Peter, and that payment’s primary purpose was for sexual contact—that makes it commercial. It’s our easiest charge to prove, with the text messages and the bank statements, and if you want Beck to go away for a long time…”

Tony’s hearing is going white, and his vision’s going hazy, and he’s gripping the arms of his chair to steady himself, and Matt Murdock is still talking.

“So yes, I think we should drop the charges—everything except the sex trafficking. For the amount it happened, Beck’ll get at least twenty years for it, and add that to Cassie’s and the racketeering, he’ll go to prison for the rest of his life.” Murdock adjusts his glasses. “Everything else,” he adds, “will just upset Peter and will most likely fall through, with the law of collateral—you’d be essentially dragging him through court for nothing. But with the frequency of the sex crimes and their severity…”

Tony pushes his hand to his arc reactor, the circular spot in his chest glowing blue through his shirt, and he tries to breathe properly as Murdock finishes speaking.

“...they found DNA on him—remnants—so there’s no doubt that Beck had some kind of sexual contact with Peter while he was imprisoned. There’s evidence of intercourse as close as twenty-four hours before he was rescued…”

It’s a physical pain in his stomach then—twenty four hours. Twenty-four hours. Twenty-four hours before Tony held Peter in his arms, that f*cker was raping him. Twenty-four hours before they saved him, Peter was alone and afraid with Quentin f*cking Beck, unaware that they were coming for him. Twenty-four hours before, Peter was doing to Beck what he kept trying to do to the nurses. Thinking he had to. Thinking there was no other option. Believing that he’d never ever see daylight again—

Tony struggles to breathe through the shock of it. “Twenty-four—“ The air physically stops in him, a pressure pulling wide. Riri explained to him once where Peter stayed, in a quiet, resigned voice. That cell the size of a walk-in closet. Those scratched-up walls and grimy floors. Those black jumpsuits that belonged to old HYDRA prisoners. The reeking toilet. The freezing cold sink.

Tony tries to take another breath, and it comes in ragged, horrible, like a broken piece of glass. He gasps it out, pressing his hand to the middle of his chest, and finding the pacemaker there only makes it worse, makes him dizzy with thought—

—and here Tony is, completely unharmed, complaining about his fainting and his heart problems, complaining about the loneliness and the drugs and the lack of sleep, when all this time Peter—he was—Peter, beautiful brave Peter, his wonderful nerdy kid was being—he was being—

“Tony, breathe.” A hand on his back, rubbing gently. “Breathe, honey, just breathe for me, you’re alright.”

—but Peter wasn’t—this whole time, he’d been forced to solicit some asshole engineer, thought that he had to—that he had to—to touch him. For food, for medicine, for bathing, whatever else. He’d been trapped in that f*cking hellhole, in that nine-by-six foot space, without a mattress or a pillow or a f*cking blanket, awaiting torture, awaiting the creaking door, awaiting a visit for Quentin f*cking Beck—

Oh, God, his kid. His precious, beautiful kid. How could someone do this to him? How could someone look at Peter, at his endless joy, at his care, at his smile, at his brave heart, and hurt him still?

And Tony didn’t do a thing to help him. He just sat around and worked on a useless f*cking prototype and hallucinated his friends coming to rescue him and watched the television and—and—and all that time . All that time, Peter had been there, in that room, waiting for someone to rescue him.

Waiting for Tony to rescue him.

And Tony didn’t —he never saved him—he never even left the f*cking lab—he let it happen—he f*cking let it happen—this is all his fault—

“Tony.” A hand on his back, warm pressure. “Tony, breathe—just breathe, come on.”

Tony gathers himself, pushing his knuckles into the blue-glowing reactor in his chest. It gives him some mild comfort, that slowish pulse in his chest, and he gasps in a shaky breath. Pepper keeps pressing slow at his back, helping him.

The lawyers before him look incredibly uncomfortable. “I’m sorry to upset you,” says Murdock. “But we have to discuss this. The court hearing—you have to be prepared.”

“I know,” he manages, “I know.”

“The courtroom will be closed,” says the lawyer. “Due to the nature of the case—with two juvenile victims and a juvenile perpetrator—so you don’t have to worry about that. And besides that, it’s a federal case, so they have to close it to the public. No media, no paparazzi—just family members and anyone approved by the judge.”

Tony hadn’t even thought about that. He just nods, his head in both of his hands.

“Now, you don’t want to explain this to Peter. Younger enhanced victims tend to take court pretty hard, and in Peter’s case… Just tell him they’re going to prison no matter what—which they are. It’s just a matter of how long. Now, in the case of the sex trafficking charge, that’s our most important—”

“The what?”

Matt Murdock looks suddenly sad, and then he removes his red glasses, scrubs a hand down his face, and replaces them. “We just talked about this, Tony—the sex trafficking. To do what Quentin Beck did, in the manner that he did it—technically, it’s not a private crime. It’s human trafficking. He was performing commercial sex acts, Tony—”

“No,” Tony snaps, and he feels the heat of his thoughts rise in him. “He never—”

“The definition of it is loose,” Murdock adds, “but this definitely, definitely applies. To entice someone by any means—including food, pain medication, harm to another, restraint—these are all things Peter was, well…” Beside his partner, Foggy’s not looking at any of them—he’s looking at his shoes, a little pale. “...paid in.”

“You don’t know that,” he says quickly, frustration pulsing through him, and he doesn’t know why this is making him so f*cking angry.

Murdock just looks sad, his mouth downturned. “He tries to touch people whenever they give him things, Tony. That’s—I mean, there’s no other word for it. It’s sex trafficking.”

He imagines the kid again, like time skipping forward—

—wearing jeans and a sweatshirt and pink lace-up sneakers, that mischievous brave look on his face, defiance sparkling in his eyes—

—his jeans torn to shorts, hanging looser on his hips, brown hair hanging shaggy around his grimy face, inner elbow littered with needle marks, his bare chest dark with bruises, sneakers spattered with old blood, knee aching with half-healed broken bone—

—in a black jumpsuit, the fabric swallowing his skinny limbs, his thin white wrists circled by dozens of scars, a permanent hunch to his back, the pinkish scars on his face, dull-eyed and exhausted, plastic port taped to his wrist—

—in that same black jumpsuit, cloth stiff with old blood, quiet and jumpy, sleeves torn up and baring bloody wrists, jumpsuit pulled down to his waist, hair dragging low over his collarbone, pink scars layered over old white ones, hollow-eyed and frightened and long given up, forced to his knees—

“Can’t you drop this one, too?” Tony says quietly.

Murdock sighs. “Tony… Quentin Beck has sources. He’s got money, connections—I don’t know how, but he does. In all likelihood, if they get him on racketeering, he’ll be in and out. It’s got a minimum sentence of two years. He could be in and out in no time, you understand? I don’t want that for Peter.”

Tony doesn’t want that either.

“I know it doesn’t sound good to you, but… The rest of them we can get—they’ll probably be in it for life. But Beck?” Murdock shakes his head. “I’m not sure. According to the witness, he showed up late in the process—and he rarely participated in any of the filmed sessions. Nothing public. There weren’t even any drugs in his system when we found him. With his lawyer, it’ll be much easier for Beck to get a lessened sentence. And I’m going to do everything in my power to make sure that doesn’t happen. Which means, yes, we’re keeping the sex trafficking charge. Besides that—the law states that if the offender makes someone available for commercial sex—even knowing or believing it might happen to him—that’s a class A felony. Every single one of them could suffer under that charge.”

Tony’s not listening to Murdock’s incessant rambling; he can barely feel Pepper’s hand on his back. He tries to pay attention, he really does, but the world is tilting again, hazy.

He can’t help it—Tony imagines Peter then, the way he looked a month ago—trapped in that room he’s never seen.

Walls close enough to touch, windowless door locked, hiding far beneath the bed with a little girl. He imagines him there, bleeding and in pain, his stomach cramping with hunger. His face swollen from Charlie’s beatings, back bloody from the wire, breathing in low gasps of pain. Curled up on his side, panicking as the door creaks open.

Waiting for someone to rescue him.

For Tony to rescue him.

Tony leaves the room before the meeting’s even over.

Steve knocks a couple times on Sarah Wilson’s open door. He hears a come in and pushes the door the rest of the way, finding her office just the way it was the last time he was here. “Hey,” Steve says, shuffling in. He’s got on one of Bucky's sweatshirts, some sweatpants, too. Worn socks and some slides. “You busy?”

She shakes her head. “You wanna sit?” she asks.

They sit in silence for a long while; Steve’s still not good at this. Eventually, Sarah asks him if he wants some water, he says yes, and just as she gets up he blurts out, “Court hearing’s tomorrow.”

Sarah pauses where she is, just a step away from her chair, and slowly sits back down. “That’s right,” she says, putting her notebook back into her lap. “Do you wanna talk about it?”

Steve shakes his head. “Not for me—I just mean, it’s gonna be hard, you know, for Peter to see him. Them. All the people who hurt him.”

Sarah nods. She’s wearing a light-colored shirt, and her hair is different, braids pulled half-up half-down. She looks a lot like Sam—that helps, Steve thinks. “Could be hard for you, too.”

Steve shrugs, attempting nonchalance, and it doesn’t work.

“Do you feel like it could be difficult for you? Seeing him?”

“I’m not afraid of him,” he says.

“I didn’t say you were,” she says gently. “Just that it might be hard.”

Steve shifts, uncomfortable, on the couch. On the coffee table in front of him, there’s a spread of magazines and a small basket full of items—fidget toys, a couple stress balls, colored pencils, the works. He picks up the stress ball, squeezes; feeling Sarah’s eyes on him then, he drops it back into the basket. “I’m stronger than him,” he says, “you know?”

Sarah nods.

“I mean—there’s no reason for me to be afraid of him. Not like this.” He gestures then to himself—to Captain America, to his height, his bulk, his muscle: all of it. “Right?”

“You are technically stronger,” she says. “But that doesn’t mean you can’t be afraid.”

Steve shakes his head. “I’m stronger than him,” he says. “I… I mean—God, this is so f*cking embarrassing. I’m gonna have to say it in front of everyone—that I couldn’t fight off some guy in jeans. A f*cking engineer, you know? If it had been, like, a supervillain it would’ve been easier.”

Sarah grasps her notebook in her hand. It’s open. “What I'm hearing,” she says, “is that you think what happened to you was embarrassing because under normal circ*mstances, you would’ve been able to stop him.”

“Yes,” he says, and his chest clenches.

“Steve,” she says, “those weren’t normal circ*mstances. You were drugged enough to pass out—and you did, right?

“Yeah,” he says, a choked sound, because he remembers that. The passing out. The gaps in his memory like literal black in his mind, waking up and not remembering where he was, just to be back there again. “Couple times.”

“That alone would make it abnormal circ*mstances, Steve. He took away your strength in order to give himself an advantage over you. That’s just… the nature of assault, Steve.”

He knows that—he’s not stupid. He knows that.

And he drops his head into his hands like he usually does, looking down at the carpet instead of Sarah. Why the hell did he even walk back in here?

“It might not be good to hash this all out again,” Sarah says, quietly. He can hear her rest her pen against her notebook, hears her shut it around the pen. “Right before the hearing, I mean.”

“I know,” Steve says. Still, he stares down at the carpet. “Just keep thinking about it.”

And somehow, forty-six minutes later, they’re still ‘hashing it out,’ arguing as per usual, going in circles and circles, Sarah giving her sh*tty therapy takes and Steve saying, for the last f*cking time, “Would you stop f*cking calling it that?”

“Assault?” she repeats, looking up at him. Her face is open and wide with concern—so much like Sam’s.

“Yes,” he snaps. “I did it—I know exactly what I did. Everybody keeps calling it that—but it’s—they don’t… They don’t get it.”

“What don’t they get?” she asks.

Steve grimaces; at Sarah’s even tone, he sits back. He’s holding that stress ball again, squeezing a couple times. “I… I started it. I was the one, you know. Doing it to him, not the other way around. I basically, I mean. I came on to him. I caused the whole thing.”

Sarah presses her lips together. “It doesn’t matter what you did,” she says, grasping that notebook still, “or didn’t do. He still assaulted you. You didn’t cause it—and it’s not your fault.”

Steve shakes his head. “Forget everything else for a second, okay?” he says, and he can hear his voice crack. “The only reason that…that it happened was because of decisions I made. Me. Not him. The only reason he put his hands on me at all was because I told him to. So how is that not my fault? I f*cking caused it.”

“The circ*mstances matter, Steve,” she says, “he didn’t give you much of a choice.”

“But it was me ,” he says. “I told him yes, and the rest…”

“You didn’t consent to the rest.”

He nods shakily. “I know. Just… Still.”

“It’s hard sometimes for people to accept that something happened that was out of their control,” she says.

Steve shakes his head, dropping the stress ball onto the couch beside him. “But I stopped him the first time,” he says. “I…” And he had. He’d seen what was going to happen to Peter and he’d broken free.

“But he drugged you,” she says again. “You were physically unable to—“

“Don’t say it,” he says.

Sarah stops. “Feeling embarrassed is a perfectly normal response, Steve. Something violating did happen to you.”

Embarrassing is such a simple word for it, but it’s true. He can’t stop that feeling burning in his chest like acid—like he’s a kid again, like he had his pants pulled down at recess. “It’s just so…”

He finds himself scouring the coffee table again for a distraction—ånything, anything not to have to say this out loud. “I just don’t understand,” he says, “how that could’ve happened, you know? I mean, it’s me.” He presses his knuckles into his chest. “I mean, f*ck, Sarah, that was me in that room. How the f*ck did that happen?”

It just seems wrong. It doesn’t feel real.

“It happened,” Sarah says. “It’s not right, but it happened.”

He finds the stress ball where he dropped it on the couch, and he picks it up again. “It feels like,” he says, “it wasn’t even me, you know? Like I became something else in that room. I couldn’t—I couldn’t f*cking move, Sarah. I was just laying there, and I was so f*cking nauseous from the drugs, my head was all over the place, kept going out, and I kept forgetting where my shirt was, and that guy—his voice, God, that voice .” He presses a hand into his eyes, one at a time, and blinks as though that’ll clear his mind of whatever sh*t’s inside. “It’s not even a scary voice, you know? It wasn’t angry—it was just kind of sultry, he was going for a sexy kind of thing, and that would’ve been really f*cking annoying if I wasn’t so f*cked up. And the whole—God, the whole time, I just. I just wanted to go home.”

Sarah says, “That’s an understandable response.”

“Not like home-home,” he says. “Like not my place with Bucky. My house. Home. Like with my parents. I wanted to go back home. Felt like falling asleep on the couch, waiting for my mom’s hand to shake me awake.” Steve shakes his head. “And, I—I mean, even if my ma was still alive—she. She knew what I was, you know? She knew I wasn’t…right.”

“You mean gay?” she asks.

Steve grimaces. “Yeah.”

“She didn’t approve?”

“I mean—it was the thirties,” he says. “So she knew, and she just kinda looked the other way.”

But after it happened, I just… I still wanted her there. To hold me, you know. To—to just, God, just to tell everything was gonna be okay. I haven’t wanted that in a long time. But I… God, I really, really wanted to tell her.” There it is—sadness, and it presses at his throat, at his face, aching there. “Still do. I feel like—I mean, it’s my mom, you know? She always fixed everything for me. And I—” He can feel the tears growing. “I just want her to fix this, too.”

Sarah nods. “That's completely understandable." He doesn't know how to respond to that, so he just presses at that stress ball, squeezing and squeezing.

“There was a point,” he adds quietly, “when I was on the ground. On my stomach. And I woke up and I could just hear him breathing, and his hand was…on me. And I couldn’t remember, um. What color my underwear was.” He stares down at the ball. “Which is like, a weird thing to think, I guess, but the drugs… He was touching me, and I just kept trying to remember which boxers I’d put on that morning.” His hand is shaking a little. “And I couldn’t. Remember.”

“That sounds hard,” Sarah says gently.

He shrugs. “Not like it matters,” he says. “Doesn’t change anything. But I hate that I can’t remember. After was kind of messy, too. Memory-wise. It’s in the police station now, probably. Evidence. I could go look, I guess, but I feel like if I go… I don’t know. I don’t want to know.”

“It might be difficult,” she says, “knowing that he has all this information about the time you lost, and you don’t.”

“Yeah,” Steve says. “It is.” And then he looks down, and he thinks about what color his underwear are now—blue. They’re blue.

He looks miserably down at himself. Steve imagines himself then through Beck’s brown eyes—lying facedown on concrete, barechested, gone. “Do you know what it’s like?” he says, because it’s all he can think. “‘Cause I didn’t.”

“No,” says Sarah Wilson carefully, and she closes that notebook with her hand. Her eyebrows slant, tilt—concern. “I don’t.”

Steve shakes his head. “Waking up like that? Coming to, expecting to be like at home in bed and instead you’re just… you’re there, in a room, with someone’s hand on you?It’s not fun, It’s… f*ck, it’s just f*cking con fu sing. You don’t know what the hell is going on. You don’t know what position your own body’s in. Can barely f*cking see. And you didn’t—“ His voice drops. “It feels like a dream. A really f*cked up dream. It’s your body and you can’t even feel it properly. You’re too f*cked up to even think thoughts like— oh, that’s bad. Instead I was thinking about how much he was sweating and what color my underwear was—like, trying to figure out what was happening twenty seconds before because I kept forgetting.” He chokes out a laugh. “Kept trying to recognize the room, too. There was something familiar about it, but I couldn’t—couldn’t—recognize—” He swallows. “God, the only time I’m not thinking about it is when I’m f*cking sleeping, Sarah. It’s stuck in me, it’s, it’s… The color of the walls, and his skin, he. The smell. Like a… a lotion or something. I don’t f*cking know.”

“It won’t always be like that,” she says. “You have to give it time.”

“Everyone’s gonna see me,” he says. “Everyone. God, they’re all gonna know.”

“No one blames you for what happened,” Sarah says, and he just shrugs. “He committed a crime against you, Steve.”

Steve doesn’t usually think of it that way—a crime. It doesn’t feel like a crime. It just feels like him and that brown-haired man in a room—him and Steve, the man’s hand on him, and Steve’s heart thumping in his chest.

He has to tune back in to what Sarah’s saying, and he hears her say, “...what do you mean by that? Fun?”

Steve grimaces. He’s not sure he even meant to say that. Fun. “You know, like.” He swallows. ““I see Bucky sleeping. I mean, we live together, so obviously I see him sleeping.” He shoves his hands into his pockets and leans back a little. He’s glad he has this sweatshirt on, that it shields so much of his body. “And I just… I think about what I looked like. In there. Just laying there, you know?” An ache in his throat, a pressure in his chest, and Steve blinks back burning tears at his lap. “I, uh. I just think, like. I’ve never really thought of having sex with someone like that. I know some people are into that kind of thing, right? They think it’d be… I don’t know.” He looks down at his hands. “So I just look at him, sometimes, Buck—when he’s sleeping, and I just… I don’t get it. I just don’t get it. How could he have done that? Looked at me just lying there and decided to touch me? My eyes weren’t even f*cking open.” He opens his hands then, and he closes them tight. “And when you’re that…” He swallows, and he feels his face then, all of it, the heat of his skin. “You don’t even feel it, not really. Doesn’t feel good, doesn’t feel bad. Just that you’re there, and something’s happening.” He looks down at his cup. “And you have no…”

“You can say it, Steve,” she says, a gentle prod.

He drags air into him, a shaky breath. “…control…over it.”

Sarah nods. “You had no control over what happened to you, Steve. So it’s never, ever your fault.”

He sighs something ragged, something tired. “But I told him—“

“It doesn’t matter what you told him,” she says, firm. “You understand? It doesn’t matter what you said, or how you acted, or what you did. He violated your boundaries, he made you do things you didn’t want to do, and he assaulted you while you were unconscious, Steve.”

Another horrible ache in his throat—Steve sees it again in moments: Beck’s brown eyes, the hand pressing against him, the entire room swaying wide around him. “It’s just so… so humiliating,” he says, a whisper—he feels the shame pull hard in his chest, a hook. “And you’re telling me that I gotta sit in that room—knowing what happened, him knowing what happened. Knowing I did that, knowing what I look like—how I—how I—and I just gotta what, act normal? Strong? Like I don’t think about this every single day?”

He breathes in a ragged gulp of air. “And my underwear,” he says, and he’s choking out those words again. “I don’t remember—what color—I just…” Steve tries to imagine it again, like he has so many times before, and he can’t draw it to mind. “I just feel…” He stares down at that glass table. “Like I’m twelve years old again. Small, you know? Helpless.”

Sarah looks at him then; her notebook’s closed. “He made you feel that way,” she says gently, and Steve winces when he looks up at her. “That doesn’t mean that’s what you are.”

Steve just shrugs.

Tony returns to Peter’s room—there, the kid. Peter’s on the bed like usual, knees curled up to his chest. He’s got on a couple pairs of socks, long knitted ones, and he’s pulled them up over a pair of black sweatpants as though trying to conserve the heat there. A T-shirt over his hospital gown, one of Tony’s old band ones, and Tony’s hoodie over that.

Peter’s not saying much—just watching Cassie play with her stuffed toys. Tony offers him a couple things then—some books, paper and pencil, and Peter forces his eyes up to Tony’s—that gaze. God, it’s like pain, like something f*cking physical, like someone’s taken a hammer right to his knee again.

“Can I…” Peter says quietly, glancing up at Tony, a fleeting moment of eye contact, and then down at Tony’s hands. “...see her?” Before he can even say anything back, Peter’s already stiffening, dipping that left side of his face down away from Tony as though trying to protect it.

“Of course, buddy,” Tony says, soft. And he realizes then that hoodie—the blue one he’s in now—isn’t one of Tony’s. It’s one of Peter’s —one of his old ones from the compound upstate. It was so big on him that he just assumed…. Five months ago, it fit perfectly—and now it’s so baggy on him that it brings a twist of nausea into Tony’s stomach. “You… You don’t have to ask, you know that, right?”

Through the haze of tangled dark hair, Peter’s eyes flick up again—only one’s visible, and a stretch of scarred skin. Across his face, a horrible look—shame.

In the afternoon, Peter spends a blessed hour in May's hospital bed. Tony sits in the corner, trying not to intrude.

Like the previous times, he’s so hesitant— barely moving towards her, curling his arms around himself, hiding his face beneath his tangled mess of dark hair, trembling with unbidden anxiety, hands shaking, chest shuddering, fearful eyes squeezing open and shut in quick succession.

And just like all the other times, May smiles wearily at him, beckons him forward, and assures him that she just wants to see him. Slowly, tiredly, she reaches out to him. “...Peter…” she whispers, “...my Peter…you’re okay…”

It takes him a minute, and then another, but finally the kid shuffles forward until he’s about a foot away from the bed. He’s not wearing a hat today—just his sweatshirt with the soft hood drawn up over his long hair, and he tugs nervously at the strings of his hoodie, pulling hard, the hood tightening over his head.

“May,” he chokes out. “May, they… They…”

“I know,” she says, “I know, baby… I know.” And a second time, she puts her hand out, sticks it over the bed railing, pale and reaching for her nephew’s hand: a silent come here, baby.

Peter’s face twists. Violently, he shakes his head, stepping back with his arms tightening around himself, and his tangled hair shakes, too. “I… I look…”

“You…look…like Peter,” she whispers to him, before the kid can say anything else. “My…sweet Peter, my beautiful boy…”

And she keeps saying it, calling him by his name, and eventually he takes a step forward, and another, until his hand reaches May’s. She grasps it with what little strength he has, and she says to him again, “Oh, baby…”

And that’s it— baby— that cracks Peter’s resolve. He bows his head a little, hair falling forward, and grabs the hospital railing. Then crawls up and into the bed with difficulty, and he lands badly on his broken knee—the kid shudders with it, a sudden shock of pain, falling forward onto the bed onto his hands in his attempt to relieve it. Tony watches as Peter takes the pain, his face twisting into something Tony’s seen dozens of times before—bearing it—and breathes through it, gripping the hospital blanket beside May.

His aunt touches his arm, trying to comfort him, and the kid cringes, sucking in a breath, and May leaves her hand there where it is, gentle on his wrist. “You’re okay, baby…” she says. “You’re right here…with me…”

Such a simple sentence—perfectly plain—and Peter opens those squeezed-shut eyes to find his aunt looking up at him. Then he tips his head down, his limbs crumpling beneath him, and he just lays there beside his aunt, pressing his head then into her neck. Slowly, gradually—either from exhaustion or from care or some tender mixture of both—she draws her arms around him, and he shudders with each further touch, but grabs at her, too, gripping the bedsheet around his aunt. And Peter reaches for her, clawing at her arms with his scarred-pink fingers, pulling at her as a baby does, begging to be held.

And the kid sobs then, muffled, into her neck, sobs leaving him in restrained bursts—choked coughs of wet tears. “I was gone—so long —so long…”

“I know, baby…”

“No one… No one…came…”

May shushes gently into his long hair, stroking it back behind his ears, pushing it away from his face with her weak, trembling fingers.

“We… we tried—so—so hard…”

“I know you did,” she whispers, her voice dry and worn; from across the room, Tony can see her shining-wet face—silently, so Peter doesn’t notice, May’s crying, too. “I know, baby.”

Peter falls asleep like that—in May’s room, curled into his aunt’s side.

Tony has to come in and knock—he doesn’t even wake then, not until Tony is somewhere beside him, saying his name until the kid jerks awake. He flails up and off the bed, panic flooding his pale face, and he practically throws himself into the corner, backing up and gasping hard. “Just me,” Tony says, stepping back as the kid chokes out a sob. “Buddy, hey, it’s just me…”

It takes Peter a couple seconds to figure out where he is, and then he’s just sitting on the hospital tile with his knees curled up, arms wrapped around himself. “Sorry,” he whispers. “S-sorry, sorry…”

May’s asleep again, in the same spot she’s been for the past hour as though she’s holding him still, arms still open like Peter's going to climb back into them. Curled up against the wall, the kid rocks himself into some kind of comfort, mouthing words to himself, cringing as he realizes what he's doing and apologizing again.

But there is no rush—so Tony just sinks to the floor beside him, struggling a little with his old knees.

And when Peter's ready, they get up off the floor together, and Tony leads the kid back to his room, letting him follow him like a duckling does its mother, slow and steady, pausing every time he hears him stop.

Notes:

hey thx for bearing with me, hope u liked it, + like idk tell me some good things about ur week or something. wanna hear that life’s good. working on getting back on track, so don’t like get mad about the posting schedule, im getting back on it, and i'm still working on my f*cking thesis, and for now i might avoid certain things or like overdo other things. who knows. trauma is f*cked up like that. thx for all ur patience and kind comments it’s been rly rly nice <3 love you all so much.

as always plz lmk about typos cuz i never double check sh*t, <3 sorry for the long wait

Chapter 47: sitting ducks

Summary:

sorry

happy tuesday lol altho it’s kinda friday, let’s pretend i haven’t left you all in the dust for 2 months and just read this chap

and yes, that’s right, it’s another flashback chap

Notes:

someone asked a while ago for a chap on peter's breaking point so blame them for how dark this sh*t got. gotta warn u this chap is pretty dark, I was writing it a while ago and recently added a ton to it. legitimately don’t read if y don’t want. at this point if ur not prepared for dark sh*t idk what to tell u, that’s legit the whole vibe of this fic.

to read this you'll wanna remember that (1) beck consistently had gonorrhea, one that he struggled to treat, so when Peter gets sick beck thinks it’s because of that. it’s not. (2) most of charlie’s crew knew exactly what was going on between beck and peter and kinda tried but didn’t do much to stop it. different reactions from different guards, you’ll see what i mean. and that the doctor does everything in his power to keep peter safe

longest chap i’ve posted so far lol

take a breath grab some tissues lol cuz this is gonna hurt. like a lot.

chap title from 'i will' by radiohead

cw: everything lol. illness, not graphic sexual assault, sexual assault aftermath, medical stuff, references to death/dying/suicidal ideation, threat of sexual assault to a child, injury, torture, lots of violence sorry, lots and lots of bad thoughts. dont like dont read idk

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

MONDAY, AUGUST 13

(ONE HUNDRED AND THIRTY DAYS INTO PETER’S CAPTIVITY)

(TEN DAYS BEFORE HE IS RESCUED)

Peter does not feel good.

He really, really doesn’t feel good.

The past couple days, it’s been getting worse—a fever brought by a wound in his side.

“…fever,” says the white-coated man, and the man is sitting in front of him on that stool and Peter blinks awake in the corner, hugging himself, bending his broken knee up to his chest, curled up tight. “…let me help…”

Peter feels f*cking horrible—the fog of fever pulling at his head, the heat of it pressing whole over his body like an iron. Nausea curling in his stomach and throat, headache buried like an axe in his skull. It makes the fear worse, everything worse—makes his spider-sense tremble at the slightest sound, makes his mind split open at the thought of a memory.

Panic keeps winding and winding up in him—he knows it’s just the doctor, but still he’s afraid. It has been forever since Peter was anything more than Parker or Petey or stupid pathetic Spider-bitch, YOU THINK YOU’RE SO SMART, YOU THINK YOU CAN OUTSMART ME? HUH? YOU’RE NEVER GETTING OUT OF HERE PARKER! YOU’RE GONNA f*ckING DIE HERE! YOU HEAR ME? YOU’RE GONNA f*ckING—

“…Peter?”

He trembles, trying to peel himself away from the memory: Charlie and the hammer, Charlie and the hammer, Charlie and the hammer and his knee breaking open wide—

“Peter, come on, hon, you’re okay…”

Peter comes back to himself with a breath, warm with fever, and something cool presses against his forehead. A touch on his side, gentle, and Peter mumbles, “Mr. Stark?”

The man lets out a small sigh. “Just me, Pete. Dr. Skivorski, you remember me?”

“Yeah,” Peter whispers, and he shuts his eyes tight. If he opens them again, the man might be someone else—Charlie or Beck or any one of the others. “Doc.” The world sways around him; the doctor’s room—wide and gray-walled, filled with used bandages and half-full syringes and blue cloth.

“That’s right. You with me?”

Peter’s barely clinging to the moment he has now—with the doctor. Safe. He’s safe here. Right? In this room— in this room —his thoughts swirl, laced in nausea, and he tips to the side a little; the man reaches forward and steadies him with his hands; Peter clings to him, and he mumbles out, “Don’t feel so good…” He can feel sweat pool at the back of his neck, slip down his back. Peter’s whole body is heavy with ill, enough that he’s struggling to remember what it was like without it.

“I know,” the man says, and it takes a moment for Peter to remember who he is— the doctor, the white-coated doctor, the only person in the world that can keep Peter safe. “I know, but it’s not too bad, I promise. Just an infection.” The man’s gesturing to some part of Peter—his side, where a dark slash is red and swollen and leaking pus—now wrapped in bandages. “Your immune system is pretty shaky, given everything, so it’s having some trouble fighting it off—I’m gonna give you some more antibiotics, try to get it out of your system, but it might take a couple days…”

Peter slips away again—into a haze of memory: Mr. Stark standing beside him, pointing to his tablet and talking to FRIDAY. Captain America all dressed red and blue, saying, You got heart, kid. Where you from? Ned spinning in a chem lab chair, asking him about the homework. MJ flipping around her worn notebook to reveal a sketch of their teacher’s face.

All of them, alive and well.

A short glimpse of Aunt May—her dark curly hair, her warm smile, wearing bell-bottom jeans and Uncle Ben’s old shirts, smelling slightly of burnt toast and cheap perfume. Dead, long dead, and somewhere at peace. But Peter? Peter will die here, in this bunker somewhere underground. He has no idea where he is—and he will never know. He will die horribly—starved and wounded and in terrible pain. Peter can only hope that he is alone when it happens—that Cassie will not have to watch. She has seen too much already.

She’s gonna see—she’s gonna—oh, God, she’s gonna watch—

“Peter, hey… ” A hand at his arm, and it hurts.

He blinks dully; fever pulls at his face, hot. Peter grips the man’s arm— Mr. Stark? “Gonna… gonna die here,” Peter croaks, “gonna…”

“No one’s dying,” says the man firmly. “You’re just a little sick, that’s all.”

Peter shakes his head, pressing his hand into his forehead. Somewhere on his torso, the infected wound burns.

He finds himself thinking of May—her face comes to him like a dream, her features all blurry with fever, dark brown eyes and long hair and thrifted sweaters. May, he thinks. Peter’s never gonna go home—he’s gonna get sicker and sicker and die like this, trapped underground—he’s gonna die…

Peter blinks himself awake again, and he’s lying on his side on a cold table—he jerks awake with a gasp—CHARLIE—WHERE’S CHARLIE—HE’S COMING FOR YOU—

Sound—a horde of voices across the room, and Peter’s whole body trembles.

“…not contagious?” one is saying, a woman.

The doctor hesitates. “No, it’s not—but he needs some rest, he needs to—“

“He can sleep in his cell,” says another, and there’s a scuffle as the doctor starts to shout— “Wait! He’s not ready! I need more time! He needs —”

There’s a lot of screaming and a physical struggle, the scuff of boots against floor and a massive thump and then there’s a click and the guard says, “Try that again, doc, and that nice white coat’ll be red, you understand me?”

Peter looks over to see the doctor pressed against the wall by two of Charlie’s guys, hands shaking in the air. “Y-yes,” he says.

“Don’t forget who’s in charge here. One wrong move and you’re dead.”

A shadow coming towards him, and then a hand hard around his arm, and he screams

“Please— please —be careful with him!”

“Shut the f*ck up,” snaps the man. “Your hour’s up. Haroun, grab his legs.”

And the last thing Peter sees—as hands and hands and hands drag him away, is that man in the white coat,

He spends a long time on the floor of his cell, right in front of the door, and he watches it. It is closed. Cassie sits beneath the bed now like she often does, hugging her knees and looking at him; her dark hair is terribly long, and there are her brown eyes blinking wide under the bed, waiting for him—

—and Peter turns away from her, shame grasps him, a gnarled twisted feeling corkscrewing through his chest, coming over him, and he tries to push himself up, but it hurts too much. He takes a breath—the sweat of fever damp on his skin, and his head’s fuzzy with pain. “Peter,” Cassie whispers, and he can’t find a single word to say in reply.

He hears her moving—and when she comes back, she’s got a piece of scrap cloth in her hand—he thinks that used to be part of her shirt before they tore it up. It’s barely recognizable anymore, stained with old blood and color faded from wash. It’s a little dark with water, and when she brings it up to his face, he sees a flash of a thousand things— a hammer, a knife, a wire, a belt— and he cringes away. “It’s just water,” she whispers. “Don’t be scared.”

She dabs at his forehead—streaks of wet leaving a pleasant cool—then at his neck and his arms. When she’s done, Cassie lays beside him and takes his hand, squeezing twice to let him know it’s her.

They lay for a while, Cassie’s little hand in his, and Peter imagines for a while that they are what they dream of: two superhero kids somewhere in Queens, eating sandwiches and saving people, going to school and coming home. Somewhere they’ll never be—somewhere safe.

They will never, ever make it past that door.

They will never, ever leave this f*cking place.

“We’re gonna die here,” whispers Cassie after a while.

“Yeah,” Peter whispers back, because he’s told her this many times before.

“I’m not gonna see Mommy again.”

He makes a small sound, a click of his tongue: no.

“Or Jim.”

Peter makes another sound: another no .

“Daddy, maybe.”

“Maybe,” he says softly, his vision swimming with fever.

For a moment, one stupid moment, Peter thinks of May—he can’t remember what her voice sounds like, and the strain of remembering hurts enough that he stops trying and focuses on Cassie’s voice instead. She’s telling him a story about her father—about Ant-Man, about a woman who dressed like a wasp. It’s not long before the fever takes him then, and he fights it for a couple seconds, clinging to the sound of his kid’s voice, but it comes back, and the fever steals him away.

Peter’s awake again, and the door is closed.

Voices outside the cell.

“Beck, wait,” someone says, and there’s some movement—shoes over concrete. “Give the kid a break, alright? He's sick.”

“f*ck off, Haroun—”

The man scoffs, and there’s a scuffle—Peter doesn’t bother to lift his head—his sweat makes his face stick to the floor, and he tunes back into the sound.

“What's wrong with him?” Beck asks.

“Doc said he had some kind of infection,” says another. “Treatable, though. Not contagious or anything.”

“Damn it,” he says. “Alright, outta my way—“

“Beck, I’m serious, leave him be—he can’t take this sh*t all the time—“

“I don't know what you’re talking about.”

“Don’t make me say it,” the other says. “Just…go easy on him, alright?”

“Out of my f*cking way, Haroun—“

Another scuffle, bodies against bodies, and a thunk against the wall, and someone walks off fast, and someone else comes towards the cell door.

And Peter hears the door open and terror screams in him—he freezes there where he is, and somewhere behind him he hears Cassie scamper quickly under the bed.

It’s Beck. Brown-haired, brown-eyed Beck.

The brown-haired man shuffles in—his zipper’s already down, and Peter freezes where he is—body going frozen at the sound—that slow, sultry shuffle. Wait—wait—wait—

Peter must pass out for a moment because when he wakes Beck is there, one hand on his jaw, pushing him with one hand against the wall. Peter shudders in a breath, and the man says, “Wow—you really do look sick…” and then something else, but Peter loses the sound in the haze of fever and blood-curdling fear.

With his other hand, Beck grazes his knuckles over Peter’s face, and it’s almost kind. “Oh, sweetheart,” he says, his voice echoey in Peter’s aching skull, “you’re burning up.” He’s so f*cking delirious, vision going in and out, and Peter finds himself pressing into the touch, because it’s gentle and he hasn’t had gentle in so long…

A memory presses up against his mind, blanketing over him, cool and precious…

(Peter and Mr. Stark are in the lab together, working side by side.

It’s cold, unusually cold, and Peter shivers. He’s been feeling terrible all day—drifting off in class and at lunch, too. “You alright there, Underoos?” Mr. Stark asks, tipping his head at him. “You’re shaking like a leaf.”

“Stop Baby Monitoring me,” he complained, “I’m fine. It’s just cold in here.”

“FRIDAY,” says the man, and Peter groans, tipping his head into the workstation, “temp of the room?”

From above them, the AI answers cheerily, “Seventy degrees even, boss.”

“See?” Mr. Stark says, gesturing with his pencil. “FRIDAY doesn’t lie, buddy.”

“I’m just tired,” he says. “We had a decathlon meet last weekend—”

“Tired people don’t shiver, Pete,” he says. “You sick?”

“I’m not sick—”

“FRI, scan the kid for signs of illness.”

“Oh my god, that’s, like, an invasion of privacy—”

But there is FRIDAY’s chirpy voice nonetheless: “Peter’s temperature is currently at one hundred and two point seven, and he has shown signs of chills, unusual tiredness, and has held in several coughs.”

Peter glares at the ceiling. “FRIDAY, you are such a narc.”

Mr. Stark whistles. “Jeez, Pete, one-oh-two?” He gets a little closer, and then he clasps gentle on the back of Peter’s neck, pressing the back of his hand at his forehead. “Well, no wonder you’ve been so tired,” he says. “You’re a damn furnace, kid.”

“Am not,” he says pitifully, stabbing at his notebook with his pencil. “She’s exaggerating.”

FRIDAY, from above: “I would never embellish on your medical status, Peter.”

Mr. Stark tsks again, his hand now gone, and pushes Peter to the door. “Yep—well, that’s enough for today. Medbay. Now. ”

“I’ve got school in the morning,” he complained.

“Not in that condition you don’t. Come on—I’ll have Cho whip up some of those nice spidey meds for you.”

“No,” he complains. “I hate those. They make me think weird.”

“They’re gonna reduce that fever of yours down to nothing, buddy, so I don’t think you’re in any position to complain.” Peter grumbles under his breath, but he follows Mr. Stark nonetheless out of the lab.

Mr. Stark gets him set up in the Medbay. Dr. Cho comes in and out a couple times, and some nurse hands him a paper cup with those red-capped pills. He takes them, and afterwards he sleeps for a while—at some point he wakes with a start, the fever worse. “One-oh-three point eight,” says the nurse. “Even enhanced, it shouldn’t be this high. Could be your mutation…”

Peter mumbles something back. He sleeps some more, and when he wakes Mr. Stark is at his side. “Spidey-drugs really knocked you out,” he says. The man’s still dressed in a jeans and tee shirt, red MIT hoodie slung over the chair. “You feeling good enough to eat?”

He murmurs, “Gotta…go home.”

“Don’t worry—I texted your exceptionally attractive aunt about where you were. She hasn’t responded yet, but she knows you’re safe.”

Peter hums, the sound of nothing, and burrows in the Medbay blankets, shudders a little, forcing the blankets up and over his nose and mouth. They are soft and white and knitted.

“Still cold, huh?” Mr. Stark says. The man touches his forehead again. His hand feels nice. Like Uncle Ben’s used to. “Hm,” he says. “Hungry?”

Peter mumbles out a “no” into the warm blankets, shivering a little more. His stomach churns at the thought.

“Want something to drink, then? Water, apple juice?” A wink. “Gin and tonic?”)

And Peter whispers, Mr. Stark?”

A hard slap across the face—Peter hits the ground sideways, his face stinging, his body twisted over the concrete, and he can feel the concrete there with his palms. Swaying, his stomach churning with nausea and his head dizzy with fever, Peter tries to find his bearings but finds only Beck above him.

Brown-haired, brown-eyed Beck.

“For the last goddamn time,” the man snarls, standing above him, towering like a f*cking giant, grabbing him by the jaw so hard that it pains him, because he’s pressing hard into bone with his strong fingers and Peter whimpers at the pain, shifting backwards. “I’m not your f*cking Iron-dad."

And Beck leaves Peter there like that, half-passed out on the floor, jaw aching with coming bruising, and the man soon comes back with a bottle of pills. He shakes them, rattling them in their orange container, and Peter doesn’t know what’s going on, and he cringes away from the man. Beck shakes a couple out into his hand, places the bottle on the sink, and kneels down beside him. “Here,” he says. “Take them.”

In his palm, a couple white tablets.

Peter is shivering, and his vision does, too; before him in Beck’s open palm, the little white pills tremble. He’s coated in sweat, his head weighty like it's filled with cement, and when Peter tries to move away he collapses on the ground again, weak, his palms sliding wet over the concrete. “Wh—what—”

“I said take them, you stupid bitch,” the man says, and then Beck’s got a hold on him, forcing his arm around his neck as Peter weakly pushes him back. Trapping him with his arms, the man forces the pills past his cracked lips one at a time, and Peter’s kicking at him, uselessly fighting him; Beck gets his hand over his nose and mouth, clasping impossibly hard, and snaps, “Swallow—f*cking swallow, Parker, I’m trying to help you.”

He does as Beck says, and sometime as Beck’s checking his open mouth for the pills’ remains, shoving his finger into Peter’s mouth and passing around, Peter passes out again, tilting sideways, and when he comes back to his back is to the wall and he’s sort of sitting and Beck is standing in front of him. Beck’s hands are on his belt, and he’s unbuckling, slipping the leather straps dangling on each side of the open zipper, and stepping closer to him. For the first time, somewhere in the daze of fevered confusion, Peter pushes weakly back at Beck’s legs, mumbling, “Don’t… Don’t want…to…

Above him, Beck is enormous, his fevered vision turning him huge; all shining white teeth and cigarette smoke, brown scruff and leather belt; the man just laughs and says, “Sweetheart, I don’t care what you want.”

The fear is cold in him—when Beck presses forward, Peter shoves back, and he manages, “No—no—I don’t—” Beck half-winds up and smacks him again, and he finds himself on the floor, again, cheek against floor, and Beck yanks him back up. “Say no to me again,” the man snaps, voice loud, gripping Peter by the jumpsuit’s collar, “say no to me again, Parker, and I swear to God—”

Peter flails, slapping hard against the man, and Beck grabbles for him, getting hold of his wrists with too much ease, forcing him up and slamming him down on the concrete bed—WAIT—WAIT—NO— Peter twists, and Beck squeezes hard and he kicks his weak legs, and twists again, so hard that his sweaty forehead bashes into Beck’s nose, and the man’s large hands let go— “Ah!” —clasping his hand to his now-bleeding nose.

For a moment, the room is horribly quiet, Beck breathing hard, sweat glistening on his white face, his mouth open with a sliver of teeth visible, blood slipping down from his nose to his lips; and there, Peter looking up at him, trembling on the bed, dizzy, an ache spreading through his forehead. “Fine,” the man says coldly, wiping at his nose with one hand—a smear of blood at the back of his hand “Have it your way.” and takes his head in his large hands and slams it back on the concrete so hard that his vision speckles out.

And when Peter looks up, Beck’s got Cassie by the arm— he pulled her from under the bed— and she’s screaming and howling and scratching at him with every bit of her seven-year-old power, clawing at him, and Peter mumbles out, feverish, “Not—not her—please— please —”

Cassie and her tangled hair, and he’s grabbing the jumpsuit by the front—shaking her and shaking her and the man is screaming, “SAY NO TO ME AGAIN! SAY NO TO ME AGAIN!”

“I’m sorry,” Peter cries, fast, feeling like throwing up—I’M SORRY—I’M SORRY, PLEASE—NOT HER NOT HER— Peter drops hard off the bed to the ground and throws himself onto him, clinging to his ankles and stroking at his legs with trembling fingers—“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, p-please —please don’t… I won’t fight…”

“You’re sorry?” Beck spits, twisting his face away from Cassie’s clawing fingers. “You’re sorry?”

“Yes— yes —yes, I’m sorry, s-sorry, sorry…”

“You’re sorry?” he repeats, his nose still bloody; he lets go of Cassie then, and she launches herself under the bed, hitting the wall at the back with a thud; Peter can hear her panicked gasps of air—her barely-restrained sobs.

Peter kneels in front of him, grasping the man’s calf—clutching desperately at the pant leg of his jeans. The denim is rough but washed—smells like laundry detergent. “Yes,” he chokes out.

“Say it like you mean it,” he says, and his voice is like a knife, cutting at Peter, pressing at him, deeper and deeper and deeper.

“I’m—I’m sorry, I'm sorry,” Peter stammers, gripping the denim, rubbing harder at his knee, up at his thigh.

Beck looks down at him—brown-haired, brown-eyed Beck, and he lifts his chin, speckled with blood. “Show me you’re sorry,” he says.

Peter is not a person. Peter is a body. And this body is the only thing that stands between Cassie and the inevitable. The only thing. This body is her human shield. Her only shield. And if keeping her from this means sinking to his knees or rolling onto his belly or doing as Beck tells him…

…then he’ll do it.

He’ll always do it.

When it’s over, Peter lays on his side for a while, that familiar ache growing worse in him, and he thinks, oddly, of MJ.

Her brown hair. Her crooked tooth. Her oversized sweaters. Her sarcastic smirks.

Peter might’ve liked to have sex with MJ. Who knows. Not like it matters. This is what he gets. Peter doesn’t get the nice stuff: someone who cares, in a bed that he knows, maybe with blankets and a pillow and a gentle touch. Peter doesn’t get that luxury. All he gets is this. Beck and the concrete bed and Cassie with her hands pressed over her ears. Peter has done it dozens of times now, all in this stupid f*cking concrete bed, on the concrete floor, and he’s getting used to it—he hates that he’s gotten used to it—he hates that he can feel the shock of fear wash over him every time that door opens, that he knows when to lay on his back and when to lay on his belly and how to move his hands and how to move his hips and when to sit on his knees and look up at him—

All for Cassie.

All of it, all of it for Cassie.

This is the only way he will ever do it. in this room with the door cracked. His skin dark with bruising, his body screaming in pain. with Quentin Beck's hand on him. A man’s voice whispering, Do it like I taught you—

He forces himself to roll onto his back, and with some struggle, Peter pulls his jumpsuit back over his hips and lays on the floor for a second from the effort. He tips his head towards the bed, and there’s his kid—sweet, brave Cassie hiding under the bed like he told her to, and she looks like she’s been crying for a long time—mucus dried in stripes under her nostrils, her eyes red and puffy. She’s holding herself, frozen stiff, barely blinking.

She saw.

He knows she saw.

Cassie’s eyes are horribly wide—tense and frozen—and she’s holding herself so tightly. “I’m sorry,” she whisper. “Didn’t–d-didn’t mean to—t’ see…” Cassie trembles, her hair shifting in front of her, tangled dark. “He was gonna—an-and then he—he—” More tears then, and the little girl squeezes her eyes shut, crying with her mouth closed, her chest caving in and out.

Peter closes his eyes.

He thinks of Aunt May.

“C’mere,” he says, and before he can say anything else Cassie’s there, hugging him, clutching him so tight that it hurts, pressing into the bruises he already has, and Peter holds her back, cupping the back of her head as she cries.

“Sca-sca-red,” she sobs wetly, hiccuping through it. “He was gon-gonna, gonna—”

Peter curls his arms around her as close as he can—he wants to meld her to his chest, wants to protect her from what might come. “Quiet, Stinger,” he whispers.

His kid shuts her mouth again, crying muffled, the hiccups hitching inside her chest, her shoulders jerking against his chest, body going tense. Tears come quiet down her face, and Peter holds her close. “G-gon-gonna, he was gonna—”

“I know—”

‘D-don’t wanna—”

“I know, I know…”

“Is he gonna—”

He can’t promise that Beck won’t come for her.

Peter won’t lie to her—they never lie to each other. He doesn’t know. Maybe one day Beck will get fed up with Peter, and he’ll peek under the bed and say something about Pop-Tarts and Cassie will poke her head out at the promise of something good. And he’ll—he’ll—

“If he does, I’m gonna try to stop him,” he whispers, “but if he does, you know what to do?”

Cassie sobs. “Op—Operation—ope—ration Sti-Sti-Stinger.”

“Yeah,”says Peter, “remember what I told you?”

“Hu-hurt him?”

“Yeah. And what else?”

“Fight—and fight—with my whole body—”

“With your whole body,” he echoes, and he knows this is how it has to be. “Where?”

“Eyes, n-nose, ear-ears…”

“What else?”

“Be-between legs, neck, ba-back of his—his knees…”

“That’s good, Stinger,” he says, and he’s so f*cking tired. “That's real good.”

They learned it in school freshman year—they separated the girls from the boys in gym class. The boys learned not to commit a crime; the girls learned how to defend themselves from one.

“‘Cause you—you said if he—if he gets me then he won’t sto-stop…”

“Yeah,” Peter says, tipping his head back to the ceiling.

“So I have to—ha-have t’—have t’—hurt him.”

“Yeah,” he says again. “not just him, right?”

“Y-yeah.”

“Who else?”

“Anyone who’s n-not you…” She sniffles. “...or Da-Daddy or the—the doc-tor.”

“Good. Good, that’s really good.”

More quiet crying as Cassie calms, sniffling and sniffling and rubbing at her face. “But what if it’s a good guy?” she whispers.

Peter closes his eyes to the world around them. He wishes there was a lock on the inside of this door. He wishes he could keep her safe. “There are no good guys anymore, Stinger. Just you and me.”

No Iron Man. No Captain America. No Hawkeye or Black Widow or Hulk to save them. Not even Thor.

Just Peter.

Was he even a superhero anymore? His red-and-blue suit was rotting in his laundry basket. His webshooters were laying on his desk.

Even his super-strength was gone now—sapped away by drugs and exhaustion. Day after day, his strength seeps away. Day after day, his resolve withers.

Maybe Spider-man is dead.

Maybe Spider-man died the day they pulled him from the car and stuck that needle in his back. Maybe he died the day Charlie took out his knee. Or the day Beck walked into the cell. Maybe he picked up that gun and pointed it at Renee’s head.

Yeah. Dead, Peter thinks again. Spider-man’s been dead a long time.

Peter’s thinking about it again—Beck and his white teeth, his large hands, and he feels it happening—the panic, the inevitable, and quiet washes over him, waves lapping in a pond, and he knows what to do, he knows what’s coming and he knows what to do—

—and as he slips away, Peter hears Cassie in a panic, saying, “Wait—Peter, don’t go, don’t—don’t leave me—”

It’s quick, like falling asleep; Peter’s already gone.

There's blood in the toilet.

Cassie’s across the room—turned around, facing the corner by the Treasure Chest, hands over her ears, sitting quietly and humming to herself. This is how they always do it, the bathroom stuff, just to give each other some semblance of privacy.

Peter gets up, sways sideways against the concrete wall. His jumpsuit’s damp on the inside—but he draws it back up over his hips, careful, but it still hurts; there’s a shaky ache in his thighs. He jerks his arms into the sleeves one at a time, and then the row of buttons down the front—Cassie’s still waiting for him to finish. He tries to button, he really does, but he can’t. Charlie broke a couple fingers on that hand a few days back, and they’re still healing.

Mr. Stark was watching—Mr. Stark was watching , and Peter’s just here, a stupid f*cked up freak, ruined by scars, a f*cking piece of meat rotting in the back of the freezer—

—and somewhere, somewhere, Mr. Stark is screaming his name.

Peter sees it in front of him then, that tiny glowing green light—the camera on the laptop—Mr. Stark’s eyes—the world beyond the bunker—

(Somewhere, somewhere, May lying dead in a crushed car, Ned and MJ laughing without him, his Spider-man suit laying in his laundry basket, his locker with all his books inside. His Spanish homework half-done. His bed unmade. Somewhere there, Mr. Delmar’s sandwich in their apartment fridge: sliced ham, provolone cheese, soft French bread with a spread of yellow mustard, grilled and pressed flat. He was gonna eat it for lunch the next day.

Peter never did get to eat that sandwich.)

That world—it was gone. Peter would never touch it again. Ever.

This was his world now: blood in the toilet, the wounds around his wrists and ankles worn red, Mr. Stark’s eyes through the laptop camera, the old jumpsuit damp inside, little dark-haired Cassie facing the wall with her eyes closed, still waiting for him to button up.

Peter thinks again of the blood in the toilet, a few drops spreading pink in the water, and Peter’s on the ground then—sweat and tears coming slow from him—did he pass out? And his jumpsuit is still unbuttoned, gaping wide, cold air against his naked chest, and he can feel Beck’s hands on him— wait—wait—please—

but they’re little hands, Cassie’s hands, cold and small, and she’s buttoning up one at a time, the work hard because her hand’s messed up—crushed bone and skin, his sweet Cassie’s hand.

(Peter remembers when they did that to her. Months ago, years ago, a lifetime ago, when he still had lace-up sneakers and an unmarked face and he was still a virgin. He was something good then, he thinks. Spider-man without his suit. Now he’s something else, he is—a living corpse.)

“I heard you fall,” she whispers. “Sorry I broke the rule. Scared me.”

The rule—don’t turn around until you’re done at the toilet. “It’s okay,” he mumbles. “Help me sit down.”

It takes some maneuvering and then Peter’s sitting against the wall, and shame presses at his eyes. The tears are bad this time, sounds coming from him he didn’t know he could make, and Peter can’t stop them—sitting up against the wall, and Cassie’s beside him, hugging his arm, and she whispers, “Let’s play a game, let’s play a game.”

He doesn’t say anything at all—Cassie squeezes his hand, a little pressure. “Once upon a time,” she says, quiet as she should be. “Let’s play once upon a time.”

“Okay,” Peter says tiredly, and he just keeps crying—gasps of air, thinking of the blood in the toilet—and Cassie helps him lay down, on his side so he doesn’t hurt his back, and they’re laying on the ground together facing each other, and Peter hates that she has to look at him.

“Once upon a time,” she says, and she’s holding his hand, and all he knows is Cassie, sweet brave Cassie, the only thing that keeps him going, the only thing that keeps him sane, “There was a Spider-man. And he was seventeen. Super old. Super duper old.”

Peter chokes out this sob of a laugh.

“And he lived in New York City with his family and he had friends and every day he went to school and at night he would help people who needed help. In Queens, he lived in Queens, right?”

Peter can’t stop crying, he can’t stop crying, the hot rush of tears that comes, and Cassie just keeps talking.

“And he had a little sister, too. Her name was Cassie, and she was a superhero like Spider-man. She had a cool name. Stinger. And she could fly in the sky with Spider-man, and he’d swing around, and they’d save people…”

He’s never gonna put on the suit again. Never gonna swing through Queens grasping at webs, never gonna hear Karen through his suit.

(Mr. Stark’s asking him about Karen—about her name, and Peter’s doing his best to explain, Mr. Stark looking more and more confused with each explanation.

“You named your AI after an AI from a kid’s show?” the man says, crossing his arms. “Very mature.”

Peter blushes. “She’s not an AI! She’s like Plankton’s wife!”

“Who’s Plankton?”

So Peter explains, and Tony nods like he understands, and then Peter explains some more, and he’s halfway through an explanation of the rivalry between Mr. Krabs and Plankton when Tony says, “You know what? Let’s just watch the damn thing. FRIDAY, pull up the first episode.”

So they sit and watch, Peter pointing out every single thing until Tony tosses popcorn kernels at him and shouts, “Any more from the peanut gallery and I’m sending you home!”

It gets late, and Aunt May starts to text him about dinner. Ms. Potts offers to let him stay—calls May to make sure it’s okay, and then they start talking about pizza. “Deep dish,” Ms. Potts suggests.

“Ned says deep dish is just pizza casserole,” Peter chimes in.

Mr. Stark nods his head sideways. “Well, he’s not totally wrong…”

“One more word,” warns Ms. Potts, shoving at him, and the man gives her a cheeky smile.

“Yes, whatever you say, my sweet,” he says, with an overdramatic flourish. “Deep dish for mia dolce meta , and Peter, what did you say you wanted?”

“Uh, thin crust…” Peter starts.

“Please don’t say pineapple, please don’t say—“

“…with pineapple.”

“You little weirdo,” Mr. Stark says. “Is this what all kids these days are into? Disgusting food combinations and Cartoon Network references?”

“Spongebob’s on Nickelodeon—“

“You know what I mean.” He waves his hand at him. “Alright,” Mr. Stark says. “One large with pineapple, you want a medium, too?”

“Yes, please,” he says with a blush. “Sorry.”

Mr. Stark tsks, tapping the order into his phone. “Don’t be sorry, Pete—you need enough to satisfy that Spidey-metabolism of yours.”

He picks at his fingernails. “But—”

MrZ Stark waggles his finger at him. “No buts. You want pineapple on that one, too? A little ham?”

He blushes again, feeling warmth rise to his face. “Uh, yeah. Thanks.”

Mr. Stark returns to his array of screens, those glasses glowing and blinking over the lenses. “Alrighty, looks like we’re all set.”

They work a little longer—Ms. Potts sits on the couch barefoot and cross-legged, typing out on her computer. Eventually, Mr. Stark’s phone buzzes on the work table and he picks at up, peering at it through his glasses. “Oh, shoot—forgot to get delivery. You mind picking it up, Spider-boy?” He does the motions with his fighters; pinky and index extended, thumb out sideways: pew, pew.

Peter rolls his eyes, taking off his hoodie. “It’s Spider-Man—“

Mr. Stark presses his hand behind his ear. “Spider-what?”

“Are you being serious right now—“

The man grins at him, a chuckle. “Go, go, Spider-baby—you know how Pepper gets when she’s hungry—“

A noise of protest from Pepper on the couch.

Peter scoots up and, realizing he’s gotta change his clothes, and Mr. Stark points without looking up from his array of glowing screens—to the bathroom down the hall. Peter changes in there, leaves his clothes folded on the edge of the sink, and taps his chest, and the Spider-Man suit tightens around him. Shuffling out the door, hopping on one foot to adjust the ankle of his suit, he adjusts and adjusts and shoves his arms through his backpack straps. He heads for the window, pops each side open, and gets one foot solidly outside when he hears, “Whoa, whoa, whoa, where do you think you’re going, Clark Kent? Inside, now.”

Peter spins around to face Mr. Stark, who’s looking at him like he’s grown a second head. “Close that window,” he says sternly.

Peter groans. “Mr. Stark—I’m literally going to get the pizzas, like you asked.”

”We are on the top floor of a damn skyscraper, Parker. Take the stairs.”

“But the momentum from this high, is like, so cool—“

“Nope—nuh uh, not on my watch,” Mr. Stark says, arms folded. He gestures to the door across the room: the stairwell. “Stairs or I’ll make Happy drive you.”

He groans again, pulling off his mask, baring his face to the man. “Are you kidding me—I’ll be fine—”

“I’ll be tracking the Baby Monitor, so I better see you come through the lobby. First floor. No funny business!”

“Unbelievable,” Peter grumbles.

“Be safe, Spider-Boy!”

Peter grumbles under his breath and flicks his hand at Mr. Stark as he goes.

“Boss, Peter has made an obscene gesture in your general direction.”

“Oh my God, FRIDAY, you're such a narc—”)

A squeeze—Cassie’s hand. “Popcorn.”

Peter might throw up if he opens his mouth, and some of him hopes he does, that he just spews it all up—he might feel better that way, like his insides hadn’t been tainted, too.

She pokes at him, gentle— “Your turn, Peter, that means it’s your turn.”

And there’s this horrible moment where Cassie's waiting for him to speak and Peter’s just thinking about the blood in the toilet and he just chokes out another sound—a wet, helpless sound, and then he’s crying again.

He can’t help himself. He keeps crying, crying like a stupid kid, crying like a pathetic little bitch—pathetic Parker, stupid freak Parker, and he’s sobbing relentlessly into this little girl's shoulder.

“It's okay, Peter,” she whispers, and he hates how quiet she is. “It's just pretend.”

Sometime later, there’s a conversation outside—a little down the hall.

“Beck,” says someone, a man.

“God—Haroun, would you get out of my ass? I’m trying to work. Stark’s f*cked this weapon up again, and I’m trying to fix the f*cking thing.”

“This isn’t about the weapon.”

“Then what is it about?”

The other man sighs. “Did you—did you do something to the Lang kid?”

“What?”

“The Lang kid. Uh, Cassie. Did you…”

Beck’s voice, and Peter shudders on the ground, tries to get up, and completely fails. “I never touched that little brat.”

“She was screaming, man—”

“What do you care? You guys f*cked her up worse before I even got here.”

“No—no, that’s not what I mean. Half the bunker heard—she was screaming about… About….”

A pause, and then a loud cackle of a laugh. “Oh, that? I barely laid a hand on her—I was just, you know. Scaring them a little bit.”

A pause. “But did you do it?”

“Do what?”

There is a long, shaky pause. An uncomfortable shuffle. “Did you rape her?”

The other man gasps. “You think I’d— no, of course not, man. I’m not a f*cking pedophile. Jesus , where do you get off, asking me something like that? I would never— man, she’s seven , and how could you think something like that?”

“You’re right. You’re right, man. Sorry.”

The whole following day goes by in a strange, feverish blur, and Peter finds himself slipping—IS HE IN THE CHAIR? HE’S IN THE—HES IN THE—and he can’t remember what’s going on, and he keeps waking up in weird places—he’s at home sitting in the kitchen eating leftovers with May.

She’s saying something to him and she’s cooking, she’s at the kitchen table, using a meat hammer: smack, smack, smack. And when he looks down at her hands, she’s got a hammer and it’s smeared with blood—and on the table is a leg, his leg---his f*cked up leg— and he’s screaming but it’s a dream, it’s a dream? Because May is dead, THEY'RE ALL DEAD—he drifts and he drifts and he’s sitting in the lab with Tony and Tony’s operating on something and Peter’s craning his head to see what it is and on the table is Peter— on the table is Peter , and he’s small and skinny and weak and Tony’s got a blowtorch and he’s firing it up—and then he’s there with the man in his white coat and he starts screaming and screaming “No! No!” because what if it’s Beck in that white coat— what if it’s Beck in that white coat— and the doctor's eyes are teary and he cries, “I DON'T WANT TO! I DON’T—I DON’T—“

“Peter—Peter—hon, you’re okay. You’re okay. It’s just me, it’s just me.”

Where—where—where —he sobs into his hands, curls up in himself—stupid Parker—knowing the tighter he winds himself up, the more protected his body is, and Peter clasps his hands over the back of his neck, pulls himself into a ball. “No,” Peter moans, “no, no, no…”

The man comes near him and his whole body screams with this unbridled sense of terror, and he cowers, losing all sense except for the horrible strike of fear in him—

(“My therapist says,” Mr. Stark said once, “when I feel like I’m going a little crazy, I should just repeat to myself some true things. Names. People. Places. Helps with, uh, grounding or whatever.”

“You have a therapist?” Peter asks. How does this man—genius, billionaire, superhero Tony Stark—have a therapist?

“Why do you sound so surprised?” Mr. Stark chuckles.

Peter scribbles into his notebook. “Aunt May says shrinks are just people you pay to be a friend for an hour.”

“Well, Aunt Hottie’s not totally wrong,” Mr. Stark says, sitting down beside him. Absent-mindedly, he takes Peter’s notebook as he talks, making gentle corrections in pencil. “But sometimes it can be good to have someone tell you where your head’s at—especially if you can’t figure it out yourself.”

Peter shrugs, taking the notebook back and adjusting with the corrections Mr. Stark has made, flipping to a new page, tearing it out and smoothing it down with his hand. “So what do you say?” Peter asks; Mr. Stark blinks at him. “To yourself? What do you say?”

“Well,” he says, “you start with the easy stuff. My name is Tony Stark, my fiancée is Pepper Potts, I live in New York, that kind of thing.”

“That’s kind of dumb,” says Peter.

“Not a fan of shrinks, I see.”

Peter shrugs. “Don’t think they do much good.”

“I thought your generation was supposed to be all—therapy this, therapy that, eating therapy for breakfast with psychoanalysis for dessert.”

Another shrug from Peter. “Not all of us.” He nods at the Spider suit before them both, spread over a mannequin—a new prototype, one with runs of blue down both wrists. “Some of us have, like, responsibilities.”

Mr. Stark gives him a strange look. “Alright, Spider-Kid, if you say so—lemme see these new numbers. FRIDAY, scan the kid’s notebook and put his new calculations on the board, please.”)

Spider-man. He’s Spider-Man. He’s Spider-Man. Peter Parker. He’s here. May is dead. They’re all dead. He’s dead—he’s gonna die. Here. Peter Parker. Parker. Peter Parker.

Peter traps himself in his arms and he’s coming— Beck—he’s coming— and Charlie behind those double doors, Charlie everywhere, Charlie is here with him—Charlie’s gonna find him—GONNA FIND HIM—GONNA FIND PETER PARKER—PETER PARKER’S DEAD—GONE—GONE—GONE—

“I’m losing you,” whispers the doctor: the man in the white coat. His beard is longer than it used to be. He looks very tired. “Please, Peter, you gotta stay with me. I know you’re still in there. You can’t go yet—when we get out of here—“

CAN’T RUN, he says. WHEN YOU RUN YOU GET PUNISHED WHEN YOU RUN YOU GET PUNISHED WHEN YOU—

“Alright,” says the doctor, soft. “I know, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that.”

You know what happens when you run—Charlie finds you—he takes out the wire— oh, God, he’s gonna—did Peter try to run? He ran, he ran, and now he’s gonna—

“Just take some breaths for me, okay, Peter? I’m gonna get your temperature down—you’re really, really warm right now.”

There’s a sheet around him—something cool, and Peter lets out a relieved sound. “When you… When you…run…”

“I know,” says the man. “I know, hon, I know… Can we take some breaths?”

There’s something on his face—plastic, cool air gusting through it, and he takes a deep, shuddering breath. “Peter,” he whispers into the plastic, sound all muffled. “Parker—Parker—Parker…”

The white-coated man looks down at him then, misery glinting in his blue eyes, and somewhere in the back of Peter’s mind there is someone screaming.

When Peter wakes up, there’s a man at his arm with a needle to prick, and he moves, and the man says, “Still, Parker, be f*cking still—” and on his other side someone’s pinning him down. ITS BECK, he knows,

IT MUST BE BECK—and Peter cries and mumbles, “Sorry, sorry,” as the needle goes in. He fumbles blindly for the man— do it like I taught you— and the man jerks away, “The f*ck is wrong with you, don’t do that—”

He’s losing himself again. HE’S LOSING IT AGAIN—he’s gone, he’s gone, he’s stupid and he’s gone—

(This is what he gets. Beck and Charlie and the chair and the camera on the laptop—every day, every f*cking day for the rest of his cut-short life. This is what he deserves.)

And then he’s there again, in that f*cking room— Charlie and the chair and he’s so terrified he can feel it raze over his mutilated skin. NO—NO—NOT THE CHAIR—then that electric thing settles over his head, and there’s something pressing into his mouth, cold and rubber— STUPID f*ckING BITCH! YOU SEE THIS, STARK? SEE HIM? HE’S CRYING FOR YOU!— and he can’t think, he can’t breathe through the pain, nothing but pain, rippling from his head all the way down his spine in horrific waves—HE CAN'T REMEMBER HIS NAME HIS NAME HIS NAME—and Peter’s out again.

When he comes to, he’s back in the ground in that room, crawling away from the Chair, and Charlie grabs him—NO, NO— PLEASE —and tosses him into the Chair and God, no, please, no—but now they’re strapping him in—

Out and out and a haze of dreamlike memory—MJ with her notebook, Ned cross-legged on his bedroom floor, May on the couch, Mr. Stark in the lab—and then Peter’s in the room again and he’s on his knees, swaying, and his body is oily with sweat and Beck’s wrinkling his nose and saying, “God, you stink—I told you to wash, didn’t I? Didn’t I?”

“Didn’t…” Peter mumbles, and he’s so f*cking confused, the heat pressing at his head and pushing at his eyes. “Didn’t I…”

And he slaps him and Peter takes it, absorbs the hit, and he mumbles, “Didn’t,” through his broken lips, and he’s so f*cking dizzy, the fever draws something cloudy and huge in him, like his brain’s melting, and Beck’s on him, Beck’s hands on his knees, Beck’s hands on his thighs, Beck’s hand on his—

“When I tell you to do something, you f*cking do it, Petey,” says the man; the stench of lavender soap—it stings in his cuts and burns against his wounds, and Peter cries because it hurts—IT HURTS—IT HURTS—he goes out again, but just for a minute or two because when he wakes Beck is still there and the whole room reeks of soap.

Beck’s nose is in his neck, pressing, inhaling, saying, “Good, much better…” And Beck sits back finally, stands up and goes, rinsing the whitish suds from his hands, and when he returns, he says, “Now do it. Do it like I taught you. “

Peter just feels part of himself fade away. He’s just a body. Just a body—he’s not here anymore. And Beck’s watching him as his vision goed blurry and his skin is hot and he’s so, so dizzy—Peter forces himself to his knees, and he can't bring himself to move, if he moves he’ll pass out again, he’ll surely pass out—

And the brown-haired man slaps him hard, so hard that Peter can feel the buzzing imprint left on his face, so hard that there’s blood in his mouth. “Do it, Parker, or it’ll be the little girl! Do it—I said f*cking do it!

Not her.

Not her.

Peter finds something in himself—his last shred of dignity, and he forces his head up. Get up, Spider-man! he thinks. Get up! Get the f*ck up!

CAN’T, he thinks, and Peter tries but he’s shaking so badly— his head screams in protest, and he sways sideways, presses his sweaty hand against the concrete, tips his head against it.

GET UP, SPIDER-MAN! GET UP! YOU HAVE TO—

A low, lusty voice: “Don’t make me ask twice.”

With every ounce of strength in him, Peter forces himself up onto his knees—the pain alone makes him gag; and he shuffles forward—his knee in sickening pain—finding Beck with his hands—touching Beck because he has to—because he knows how, because he knows he has to, and he goes out and Beck makes a sound, a pleased sound—IT'S COMING—IT ALWAYS COMES—

—time, quiet, and he’s gone, like a canvas painted white, like a book dropped into water, dissolving and going soft and hazy—

Peter comes back again on the floor, so sick that he gags bile out onto the cement. Peter lays there without cleaning it up, dazedly watching it spread, so dizzy he can’t bring himself to even lift his head.

Peter is tired.

God, he’s tired.

Somewhere beyond their cell door, there’s a voice. A couple of them, and Peter can smell the reek of drugs from his spot on the floor. Angel dust, he thinks. The stuff Charlie likes. They’re giggling like a couple of kids. They talk and talk, and eventually the drugs start to wear off and their conversation lulls. “…and honestly, if I have to hear Beck f*ck that kid one more time…”

A nervous laugh. “Discreet, yeah, not his strong suit.”

“Guy’s a sicko—you’d have to be real f*cked in the head to wanna spread your legs for that guy.”

“Hey, don’t blame him—not like the kid’s got much of a choice.”

“Whatever, babe. Some of those sounds Parker makes don’t sound too rapey to me. You've heard him. Kid’s all like, Oh, yes, Beck, whatever you say, sir, oh, yes, please— ” Then some sounds: mock moaning, high-pitched and rhythmic, and the man devolves into laughter—

—a scuffle, and then someone is getting up. “What the f*ck is wrong with you?”

“What? What’d I say?”

“You’re disgusting.”

“Wait—come back.” Another person getting up. “It was just a joke—babe, come on, it was just a joke…”

His dreams are worse.

Peter finds himself in the Chair, strapped down—Charlie with the wire—that horrible hiss— the blowtorch— thrashing, blood comes warm down his arm as he howls for help.

Ava’s face bashed in. The gunshot hole in Frank’s beck—the blood pouring out from him. Cassie’s wide eyes glassy with fear. Beck next to her, arm around her shoulders, holding that book.

Charlie swinging the hammer. Renee holding a bloody knife. Mateo sticking the needle and pushing down. Beck pinning him down with one hand.

The fever stretches on and on and when he wakes from there’s a warmth against his front and he cries so hard that his head sings with pain his face hot with tears and and relief---he’s not in the chair because Cassie’s here—Cassie’S HERE—oh, God, oh, God.

And she whispers very quietly—THEY ALWAYS HAVE TO BE QUIET— “ Peter. Peter.” Her voice is muffled, gone, and he finds himself gasping for air, struggling for it, and she says again, “ Peter, you were screaming.”

Peter doesn’t hear the words actually leave him but he asks her if he was here—if Beck was here—and Cassie nods and says, “ You were weird,” and she doesn’t explain.

DID HE, he whispers, and he feels so, so strange,

Cassie hugs her knees; her hair hangs matted around her shoulders, stringy and thin. Peter hasn’t brushed it in a long time. “ Yeah,” she whispers back. There are white spots all over her head, too—lice, and he keeps forgetting; she scratches at it, scratches and scratches at her scalp and Peter will have to fix that tomorrow. They don’t have a comb. They don’t have a hairbrush. They don’t have anything except a couple cans and a can opener.

So Peter just sits there.

And he lays for a while.

He remembers how he’s spent the last month---what he did to Beck, what Beck did to him, and he—God, the things he’s done. Sometimes Cassie sees, and sometimes she doesn’t. Sometimes it hurts, and sometimes it doesn’t. Sometimes Peter remembers what it’s like for hours after, and sometimes he just leaves himself altogether and doesn’t think at all.

But he remembers.

God, he remembers it all.

Cassie pushes a tin can to him, and Peter can hear the metal scrape across concrete. “Dinner time,” she says, in this utterly tired voice. Somewhere across the room, her cans are empty. This is how it always is: two cans for Cassie, three cans for Peter.

She’s already pried the lid off his, and he shakes his head.

Cassie whispers, “You have to. You promised.”

A long time ago, Peter made her a promise. We keep going, he told her. We eat, we drink, we stay strong. No matter what we feel on the inside, okay?

But now, Peter stares down at it. He doesn’t want to eat it. He just wants to lay down on the floor and let sleep take him again.

He wants to dream of Mr. Stark.

But Cassie is looking at him, waiting for Peter to take that stupid f*cking can. He just— God, he feel so sick. He makes a sound with his tongue because he’s too tired to speak, a soft clicking sound, and she goes quiet for a second. “Peter,” she whispers, and he closes his eyes, letting out a breath. “Peter, you promised…”

Peter wishes they could die; he wishes they could both die. He wishes the ceiling would cave in and crush them both. Maybe they’d be free that way. Free, he thinks again, and he finds himself thinking of the apartment—he can’t remember what his bedroom looked like. He puts May’s face in his head, and he wonders what she would think if she could see him now. A piece of meat, carved up like a f*cking filet—Peter imagines her lip curling in disgust, imagines her taking a few steps back, imagines her hard stare traveling over his f*cked-up body.

May would hate what he’s become.

“You’re thinking bad things again,” Cassie says from beside him, awfully quiet. Her hair sticks to her cheek; she doesn’t bother to push it away.

Peter keeps his mouth shut, and he pushes his hand into it—black beans, and it gets all over his hand. and then the hunger takes over—and he’s shoveling it into his mouth without thinking, his mind in a daze of stomach pangs and headaches, and when he comes back to himself his hand’s all scratched up from the can and he’s breathing hard and he can’t really remember eating at all.

Cassie’s looking at him, and she’s pushing the next one into his hands, this time cold sliced carrots, and he shovels that in, too, chewing and barely breathing and swallowing faster each time—then the next, meaty soup that he gulps straight down without using his hands.

Cassie fills each can with water and returns them to him—and he chugs them fast, filling his belly, and when he’s done he collapses onto the ground, holding his aching stomach.

(“I’m literally stuffed,” Peter groans, sitting back at the kitchen table.

“You ate nearly six servings,” Mr. Stark says, scraping the rest into a clearish tupperware. “I’m surprised you’re still standing.”

Peter stretched his legs under the table, opening up his belly a little wider. “It was, like , so good. Like, highkey? Best lasagna ever.”

“High…key…” Mr. Stark says, snapping the lid onto the tupperware and popping open the fridge. “Highkey? FRI, sweetheart, define ‘highkey’ for me, please.”

From somewhere in the ceiling, FRIDAY’s unmistakable voice: “Highkey, meaning ‘truthfully’ came about as the opposite of the teen term “lowkey,” usually meaning ‘of low intensity’ or—”

Peter tips his head back. “Mr. Stark, oh my God —you gotta stop asking FRIDAY every time I say something, you’re literally such a Boomer—”

Mr. Stark’s eyebrows raise; he gives a mischievous smile. “FRI, my love, please define ‘Boomer’ for me.”

“Oh my God,” Peter moans in protest.

“Boomer, shortened from the generational category ‘Baby Boomer,’ references the generation born between 1946 and 1964….”

“Interesting,” says Mr. Stark, now shutting the fridge, “so…not me, then? ‘Cause I was born in seventy—“

“Oh my God…

Mr. Stark’s chuckling now, taking out another empty tupperware, cracking it open, and dropping the plastic lid onto the countertop. “You want leftovers? I’m saving some for Pep and me, but the rest…” He gestures. “All yours.”

Peter almost salivates at the thought. “The lasagna?” he says.

The plea in his voice is so obvious that the man chuckles and starts scooping out portions into the family-sized tupperware. “I’ll take that as a yes,” Mr. Stark says.)

—and Peter’s awake again, his back against cold metal, his wrists locked in, his ankles locked in, too, and then Charlie’s there—wild-eyed, bearded Charlie—and he’s rambling, screaming on and on: “...the world, Stark! It’s been four months! Four! And what have you done? Your precious baby’s not gonna last much longer—“

On the other end of the phone, a man is crying. His voice slurred with exhaustion, a whispery hoarse sound, a miserable croak: “Charlie, please—“

“You’re letting him die, Stark! You’re gonna WATCH HIM DIE!”

More ragged crying. “Peter, I’m so—so sorry—please—just take me, take me—please… Just let me see him—”

“You should know this by now, Stark,” says a woman. “Parker’s not going anywhere.”

“I’ll do whatever… whatever…you want…” the man croaks out. “Please—please just let me—Charlie, I’m begging you—just let me hold him…”

Some laughter, and Peter jerks against the cuffs of the chair; sweat pours down his face—his head drops against his chest. “Mr….” he tries.

“I’m here, buddy—” says the man on the phone. “I’m here—just hang on…”

Peter slips away—the fever takes him, squeezes too hard, and when he wakes, he can feel the heat of the blowtorch against his shoulder—he twists against the Chair—WAIT—WAIT—writhing hard, his wrists go slippery against the cuffs—

Cackling and cackling.

“He’s sick,” pleads a girl’s voice. “Charlie, come on—he’s sick—the doctor said..”

“Sick?” the man echoes. “Sick?” Charlie staggers back from him—the heat of the blowtorch fades, and the man waves it around: a blue-purple glow. “f*cking disgusting—”

“…not contagious, the doctor said it wasn’t contagious…”

“Fine,” snarls the man. “You want a break, Parker? You think you deserve a break?”

Peter doesn’t know what he deserves anymore.

There’s some low talking, some more shrill yelling, and then Charlie close to him, stroking his sweat-slick hand down Peter’s cheek—“Oh, precious baby Parker needs a break—” —and Peter snaps his head away so fast that his neck cracks, that his vision goes black-spotted.

Would he?

Would Charlie—

Peter’s mind stutters as Renee laughs, cackling and slapping her knee. The seconds scrapes by—fear claws at the back of him. He thinks a thought, a clear one in his haze of pain and ache— do they all know about Beck?

The thought washes over him, humiliation crashing down on him like a f*cking wave, and the tears come fast.

“Jesus, Parker, I’m not R. Kelly over there, I’m not gonna f*ck you.”

A man snaps, “Oh, f*ck you, Keene.”

Charlie whips around and he shouts, “What’d you say to me?”

“f*ck. You. Maybe all those drugs fried your brain and your hearing, too. Then I wouldn’t have to repeat myse—”

And then they’re fighting, grappling for each other, and Charlie’s bulky fist snaps into Beck’s brown-haired brow—mixed shouting and floods of color and sound and motion, and Peter is screaming and screaming, NOT YET—NOT YET—NOT READY—NOT READY—

And then Beck is staggering into the corner, grumbling and holding his hand to his eye, and he spits onto the ground. Charlie turns to Peter, then—those wild eyes focus on him, and he says, “Alright, Parker. I’ll cut you some slack today. You’ve got ten seconds.”

What?

“Uncuff him.”

Several of the crew uncuff him from the chair and he falls heavily onto the floor; hands against concrete, and Peter just lays there, waiting for something to happen.

“If you make it out of the room in ten seconds,” Charlie says, “then I won't touch a hair on your pretty little head today.”

Peter swallows.

“Ten.”

Peter just sits there, dumbfounded. Charlie doesn’t lie, right? What exactly did he say?

“Nine. Eight.”

And on seven, it kind of clicks—Peter starts crawling for the door, and putting weight on his bad leg induces a sickening wave of nausea so weighty that his vision wavers, his hearing goes out—and when it comes back Charlie's on: “Four.”

Peter lets out this kind of primal, guttural sound, dragging himself forward with his fingernails.

“Three.”

He doesn’t hear those last couple numbers—in his mind, he’s screaming, forcing himself forward with such effort that’s all he can focus on, and then there are hands dragging him up, hauling him upward, and he’s no longer touching floor and he’s back in the chair—

And Charlie is laughing. He's laughing at him.

“See how far you made it, Parker? See how far?”

Peter looks down at the ground, then, at the blood smear of his crawl.

Three feet. He’d made it three stupid f*cking feet.

And Charlie's laughing at him, and there’s others laughing at him, too, and humiliation burns in his gut, in his face, and the tears come fast. “You know what happens when you run, Parker?”

Peter hides on the floor—useless, f*cking useless— covering his head with his useless stupid hands, and Charlie screams, “WHAT HAPPENS, WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU RUN, PARKER —f*ckING ANSWER ME—”

Charlie slams the hammer hard down beside Peter’s head such a spray of metal sound that Peter screams sharply, curling in on himself, and his knee alights with this weird phantomy pain— “WHAT HAPPENS—WHAT HAPPENS?”

“I—I get—”

“WHAT HAPPENS?”

“Punished,’ he chokes out, covering his head with his hands. “Get…punished.”

Then Charlie brings him back to the chair and he says, “Try again.”

The second time, he barely makes it a foot before Charlie’s dragging him back.

The third time, he knows better, and he’s crying so hard, so dizzy that he couldn’t find the door if he tried.

“S-sorry,” he says, “I’m sorry, sorry, sorry…” This time, when Charlie starts counting he goes to the bearded man instead, shuffling to the man and gasping for forgiveness, and everything starts to get hazy—

—Beck grasping Cassie by the hair, the girl kicking and screaming—Peter on his knees, pleading— brown-haired, brown-eyed Beck—SHOW ME YOU’RE SORRY—

DON’T RUN—CAN’T RUN—NEVER RUN—and Peter cries, “I’m sorry, sorry…” He’s crying messily onto Charlie’s shoes and kneeling in front of him, crawling to him like a dog to its master, prostrating himself before the man—a mortal before a f*cked up god—and the man groans, annoyed, and says, “Parker, the f*ck are you doing now?”

Then Peter looks up—above him, a man.

And all he sees is Beck.

Peter rubs the man’s leg first, and he doesn’t even have to think because he knows what to do, because he knows how. He moves his shaky hands up, and he reaches up two-handed for the man’s jeans; he finds the belt first, and then the huckle and Peter can’t see the zipper because he’s crying too hard, and the bearded man shoves him backwards. “What the f*ck,” the man says, and all the voices combine above him—Peter cowers on the ground, trapping his head in his arms, pulling his pained knees up to his chest, curling up into a tight ball. “Beck, what the f*ck did you do to him?”

“Oh, come on, like that’s my fault?”

“I don’t want the kid f*cking molesting me, Beck! Did you tell him to—”

“No! Of course not! I’m not a f*cking psychopath, kid’s a slu*t, he does whatever he wants—“

Then the two men are fighting again, grunting and smacking, and others rush forward to join the fight…

And all the way across the room, as the men fight and claw and punch at each other—Peter sees it. That tiny glowing green light: the camera on the laptop. Mr. Stark, somewhere, watching him. Somewhere, in a place Peter would never see—Mr. Stark was crying out for him.

And above the rush of movement and shouting, Peter hears the man crying, saying, “Oh, Peter—oh, Peter…”

Not Parker, Peter thinks, before the bleary heat of fever washes over him again. Peter.

They drag him back to the cell.

Peter lays on the floor then—against the concrete, in and out, slipping from one memory to another: May and him in the kitchen, the smell of burning meatloaf; May and Ned and MJ at a decathlon meet, Mr. Stark waving proudly from the back of the room; him and Ned dressed up at Comic-Con.

Peter wakes with a jerk—to a sound: the sound of the creaking door.

He’s back—HE’S BACK—and he comes in fast, fast enough that Peter doesn’t have time to react, and Beck whips his hand across Peter’s face—the smack sends him sprawling, and he’s dizzy and confused, and oh, God—he’s here—HE’S HERE— Peter coughs, tries to pull himself back up, and the man hits him again, and he’s on the floor and his face hurts—buzzing with pain. Another hit— smack!— and his vision goes horrible and sideways, and another— Peter coughs a splatter of wet onto the floor and Cassie is screaming—

There’s only one thought pulsing through his head: Beck’s beating him. Beck’s beating him.

And Beck never beats him.

Which means he must’ve done something wrong, he must’ve, what did he do—Peter can’t remember what he did—oh, God, HE DID SOMETHING WRONG—

And the man grabs Peter by the throat, full-handed; Peter doesn’t even bother fighting his grip—he just starts crying, and when Beck lifts him up, his broken leg dangles useless below him. He grabs at Beck’s hands, trying to hold him or touch him or something that’ll stop what he knows is coming—gargling out sorry, but Beck is screaming, gripping his throat hard enough that Peter gags, “YOU KNOW HOW f*ckING HUMILIATING IT IS? HUH? THAT WHOLE ROOM? THAT WHOLE f*ckING ROOM!” He shakes Peter against the wall, and his whole body dangles limply against the wall. “ALL BECAUSE YOU COULDN'T KEEP YOUR HANDS OFF OF KEENE’S DICK, YOU LITTLE whor*!”

And Beck throws him to the side—for a moment Peter is falling—and his body hits the concrete floor, and he sprawls out onto the floor, coughing back air into him. Beck rears his leg back and Peter cowers below him—WAIT, WAIT, WAIT—the boot hits, cracks into his chest like splitting wood, and pain breaks open in him. “IN FRONT OF EVERYONE!”

Peter doesn’t bother to beg. Begging never works on Beck.

“Sorry,” Peter gasps, clutching his chest, “sorry, sorry,” and then he crawls to Beck, a stupid limp of a crawl, trying to apologize with something else— SAY IT PETEY SAY YOU’LL BE GOOD FOR ME— “I’ll be good, b’good…” But you know what he wants, what they all want, you know how to fix this —and the man shoves him backwards with his boot—screams, “YOU STUPID whor*!” and leans down, grabs him by the collar, hauls him up—and he just hits him—

—and hits him—

—and hits him—

—and Peter’s face is bursting in bruised pain. So swollen that his lips can’t move, and his face is all slippery, and when Beck drops him to the floor there’s blood on the concrete below him and when he turns his head, Peter finds Cassie there, safe under the bed, watching and crying silently, her face ashine with tears, horror tainting her stare, clutching her knees like she’s next; he should tell her Iron Man or Hawkeye or any one of their code words, but he’s so dizzy and his head whines with pain and he just wants to tell her he’s here, he’s here —GOD, HELP ME—I’M RIGHT HERE, I'VE ALWAYS BEEN HERE—then a fist punches into his mouth—there’s a clink , his tooth pink and bloody saliva clattering across the floor, and he gargles out, “Cas—”

A fist slams hard onto the side of his head, and he hits the floor and his head bounces off concrete and his ears are ringing a high whine—

—HURTS—HURTS—HURTS THERE'S BLOOD ON YOUR FACE—HE’S HERE—HE’S HERE—and Beck hauls him up a second time, screams something incoherent, and he hits him—

—and hits him—

—and hits him—

—and Peter can’t tell anymore where the blows are coming from, just that they keep coming, and IT’S ALL TEARS AND BLOOD, AND IT'S COMING—IT’S COMING—HE KNOWS WHAT'S COMING NEXT—

And then he drops Peter on the ground and he hugs the concrete, scrabbling for some kind of hold, waiting for the next hit to come—he trembles and coughs and he trembles again and he clutches hopelessly, desperately at the f*cking concrete—PLEASE DON’T, PLEASE, PLEASE—

And when Peter looks up, Beck’s hand is moving fast in his undone jeans, and then he’s grunting above him, and Peter's eyes are swelling up hot, and he can see only a crack—

—and all Peter can see is him.

Brown-haired.

Brown-eyed.

Beck.

A zipper going up, and then a man kneeling beside him. Peter lets out a sound—weak as it leaves him, like a dying animal. Peter shifts just barely against the concrete, a stupid attempt at escape—and everything hurts—the crack in his side, the mess of his face, the sting of his neck, and still the fever has its hooks in him, making every sound foggy and every movement slow. A pressure growing and growing in him—and Peter makes another sound— please.

A hand comes towards him, and Peter tries to say somethingbut all that comes out is a burble of hot blood, and it slips down the side of his face, pooling next to his cheek. A hand grasps a handful of his hair and yanks his head up so hard his neck strains: a high, broken sound leaves him. Damp with sweat, hair curls stringy around his neck, clings to his face, and Peter hides beneath it—the only thing between him and the man above him.

“Try anything like that again,” a man’s voice hisses, low in his ear, “and I’ll make sure Charlie takes more than just a finger off you.” His face is so close Peter can smell the smoke on his breath, smoke he can taste through his split-open mouth. Beck comes closer, drags his head closer, and Peter knows not to turn away. “Understand me, Parker?”

He can’t nod; he can’t speak; Peter tries and just coughs another bubble of blood—it pops between his lips.

Beck makes a sound—disgust, and he drops Peter’s head onto the concrete floor. “And your hair’s a f*cking mess, sweetheart. Get the girl to fix it.”

CASSIE—where’s Cassie?—the only thing that matters, what did he do—he did something to her, he must’ve… Oh, God, Cassie—

The door clicks shut—another click, the lock.

Then Peter’s alone—laying there on the concrete floor, and he can’t hear Beck anymore. He tries to move—and his cheek slips bloody against the concrete—such pain that he comes to a few minutes later, the floor warmer under him.

He can’t move. He can’t f*cking move.

Peter shuts his eyes and feels his body shake—the whole of him, shivering in fever and unbounded terror, waiting for the next hit, feeling wetness slide down from his mouth and spread across the floor at his cheek, warm and sticky. Pain crackles in him, spiking every time he breathes—it claws at him, deeper and deeper and he tries to breathe again—

Is he dying?

IS HE DYING?

This is it—Peter’s gonna die like this, here in this room, with brown-haired Beck above him. Peter’s gonna die here in this room while Cassie watches. No one to crack a joke, no one to brush his hair from his eyes, no one to hold his hand.

Peter can’t feel his broken face, and it hurts to breathe, he takes in two quick inhales, and it hurts still—it comes out shaky and strained, and the pain gets worse— he’s gonna die, he’s gonna die here—

(“I’m gonna die,” says Peter, blinking down at the wound.

Mr. Stark has dragged him all the way out of sight of the main fight; beyond them both, the rest of the Avengers continue the fight—all working to take down some creepy guy and his goons somewhere in Brooklyn.

“You’re not gonna die,” Mr. Stark says fast, his Iron Man mask pulling away from his face, kneeling in front of him. “FRIDAY, Spider-kid’s status report.”

“It’s Spider- man—”

“He has one major wound in his lower right side and another grazed along the left side. Minor bruising and mild shock—I recommend emergency care as soon as possible…”

“Yep,” says Peter. “Totally dying.”

“I said you’re not dying,” snaps Mr. Stark, and he presses his hand to his exposed forehead. “God, it’s like you’re trying to give me a heart attack—how many times did he shoot you?”

“Twice,” he says, nodding to the bullet holes riddled in Iron Man’s suit. Mr. Stark’s already pulling his suit half-off of him, peeling it off to get a good look at the wound. “Not too bad, huh? I was like, crazy fast—like, Flash fast, like Usain Bolt fast—”

“He got you twice,” Mr. Stark says. “Pretty sure that means you need to pick up the pace. Jesus, kid, I told you not to come, to leave this to the professionals—”

“I am a professional! I’m an Avenger!”

“In training, maybe.”

“Are you victim-blaming me? You’re totally victim-blaming me.”

Mr. Stark extends the finger of his suit, sprays some kind of liquid on the wound, lets it sit, and the pain gets a little better. “No, I’m telling you what happens when you don’t listen to me, which is you get shot.”

“Only twice.”

“I don’t know if you know this, Underoos—but twice is a lot.”

“Eh,” Peter says. “I’ve had worse.”

“Have you?”

“Remember that one guy who dropped a building on me freshman year—”

“Ah, dah, dah—“ says Mr. Stark fast, shaking his hand at Peter’s face. “Don’t remind me, I’m gonna Hulk out if you tell that story again.”

“It was my Luke Skywalker moment! Like, I am your father, but instead he was all like—ah! I am your girlfriend’s father! That guy had me, like, totally shook.”

“Could you stop making Star Wars references while I fix you up?” Mr. Stark says.

“No,” Peter says, and when he chuckles another stream of blood comes through it. He squints down at his belly, where Mr. Stark’s still working. “Ow, ow, ow—is it bad?”

“Tis but a flesh wound,” chirps Karen from his suit, and Mr. Stark jerks his head up.

“No, it’s not too bad—wait, was that Monty Python?”

“Uh…” tries Peter. “No?”

“Did you code your AI to quote Monty Python?”

“I mean, Ned did most of it, but…”

Mr. Stark shakes his head. “What is wrong with your generation?”

“It lightens the mood!”

“Twice the smarts of any kid your age and you and Fred use it to code your AI to quote Monty Python—“

“It’s Ned,” Peter corrects, “and he’s my Guy in the Chair! That’s what we do…”

“Guy in the chair is not a thing.”

“It’s totally a thing.”

“Absolutely not.”

“Is, too.”

Mr. Stark shakes his head but keeps working on the wound, winding around it with one of Peter’s own webs, and the bleeding slows. “FRIDAY, scan the Spider-kid and find the nearest enhanced-friendly hospital, pronto.”

From Mr. Stark’s suit, FRIDAY speaking: “Searching for enhanced-friendly medical centers…”

“It’s St. Jude’s,” Peter interrupts, gesturing vaguely without much movement. “Four blocks down.”

Mr. Stark blinks at him. “How the hell would you know that?”

“I have to go a lot for—” Seeing the look on Tony’s face, Peter backtracks quickly. “—checkups. For checkups. You know, flu shots, height checks, the whole thing.”

Mr. Stark presses his hand to his forehead, finally done. “You are the actual source of my heart problems…”

Eventually, Hawkeye comes over the radio. “All clear, Tin Man,” says Clint Barton’s voice clear on the radio. “Go get the kid some help.”

Mr. Stark taps the side of his head, re-activating his comm. “Watch it, Barton—Spider-kid’s on the line, I’d like him to retain some respect for me.” But he goes, re-adjusting his Iron Man suit so that his body’s covered, snapping the mask over his face, and gingerly picking Peter up.

“Too late,” says Peter with a laugh, looping his arms around the iron suit’s neck as it begins to take off. “Can I call you that?”

They’re in the sky now, flying slower than usual. “No, you may not.”

“I mean, it’s clever, the Wizard of Oz, Tin Man—”

“When I say ‘no,’ what does your teenage brain hear? Static?”

“I’m just saying—”

“Say it again and I’m grounding you.”

“You can’t ground me—”

“Oh, yes I can—”

“Can we keep the parenting off the main line?” states Black Widow through the radio. “Some of us are trying to, you know, fight bad guys?”

“The kid okay?” asks Rhodey.

“He’s fine,” replies Mr. Stark. “Tip-top shape.”

“‘Tis but a flesh wound,” chimes in Peter from beside him.

Mr. Stark shakes his head, pressing his now-bloody hand to his forehead—exasperation. “God, why did I give you a comm—I’m taking that away as soon as we get home, you hear me? I’m making you a mute button.”

“You won’t,” Peter says, wincing at the pain in his side.

“I absolutely will.”

“Was that Monty Python?” asks Hawkeye over the radio.

“Nope, nope, nope,” says Mr. Stark. “Iron Man out—and we’re finishing this conversation later, Spider-kid.”)

Beside him somewhere, he hears a little girl crying. Peter tries to say her name, and pain needles at his chest—he twitches his fingers in her direction, the only movement he can manage without pain—a noise comes out of him and it doesn’t sound like him—a halting groan. His eyes keep swelling and swelling, and now he can’t blink without pain. Blood or tears trickle warm from his eyes, and the puffy skin presses closed, sealing him in terrifying darkness.

HIS—OH—HE CAN’T SEE, HE CAN’T SEE AND WHERE IS HE—WHERE IS HE—

Peter is on the floor still, and he coughs again—and his lip’s been split nearly in half; he can suddenly feel where it’s separated. His mouth’s all f*cked up and his tastes salty and there’s a soft spot where his tooth used to be. he’s coming back he’s gonna come back and he’s gonna come back HES GONNA COME BACK AND HE ALWAYS COMES BACK YOU OWE HIM TODAY YOU OWE HIM and Peter just lays there whimpering, and half-breathing and praying the seconds go by slow, and everything hurts—even breathing is hard. A wheeze from him, a whistly sound from somewhere in his chest, shallow in him, his lungs catching on every inhale.

Peter can’t see— he can’t see— and his eyes are swollen shut, hot with blood, skin thick, and he tries to open them, tries to blink, and still he can’t see anything. He’s still dizzy and the world spins around him—and he finds himself slipping away to somewhere better, to somewhere without any blood running into his eyes, without any pain spiking in his broken chest—

The door opening—THE DOOR—OH GOD, THE DOOR—and then there’s someone in the room, a man’s heavy shuffle, and Peter lets out a broken moan through his bloodied mouth—another stupid plea for mercy.

The man is close to him now, and Peter is in too much pain to move—the fear takes hold, and he sucks in a breath, faster and faster—HE’S GONNA, HE’S GONNA—panic crashing over his head in a high wave—WAIT—WAIT—

The man’s voice, a little higher than usual: “Oh my god…

Peter screams a gargled sound from in him, PLEASE DON’T—PLEASE DON’T—PREPARE YOURSELF, YOU HAVE TO PREPARE YOURSELF and it’s him, it has to be him, and his spidey-sense is going berserk—Peter claws at the ground, trying to pull himself away, but all he can manage is a low flail against the concrete; the man says, “You’re fine, you’re fine, lemme take you to the doctor, Parker… Gotta get you cleaned up…” and he’s reaching for him—

HE’S COMING AT YOU—HE'S GONNA FINISH THE JOB—YOU STILL OWE HIM—YOU ALWAYS OWE HIM—

Peter gurgles, “ Sor -sorry, ‘m sorry—m’sor…” and more blood slips out through his cracked lips, trickles down his sweaty neck. His face—his face—he can’t feel it, it’s so swollen he can feel his nose press against his battered lip, can feel his thick-swollen eyelids press together—

The man says, “I’m not gonna hurt you,” and Peter screams—trying to push himself away from the sound, but he’s not even strong enough to open his eyes. He cringes on the floor, hiding his head. “I’m just getting you downstairs, calm down, kid—” When the man reaches again, grazing his hand on Peter’s shoulder, Peter cowers, shudders, nauseous with pain, and his whole face is wet with blood.

Knowing what he has to do, Peter reaches for the man— just like I taught you, Petey— and the man shoves his hand away, and he says, “Jesus, Beck really did a number on you, huh?”

Peter thinks the man has said something, but he’s already forgetting—HE HAS TO DO IT—not her, not Cassie, please not Cassie—he hurts so much but he’ll do it, he’ll always do it— he has to do it—COME ON, SPIDER-MAN! COME ON! YOU HAVE TO—and the man’s still talking, but Peter’s not listening to him, just feeling that broiling sick in his gut—HE CAME BACK—HE’S GONNA FINISH THE JOB—

“I’ll— b’good,” Peter chokes out, “m’sorry—not h’r—”

He can’t see the man, but he feels the stare—the way the man’s heartbeat stilts in his chest. Beck. Beck. Beck. Peter knows what to do—again, he reaches his dark-bruised arm to the man’s leg, strokes up— do it like I taught you, Petey—good boy, good boy— and rubs him again, and the man makes a small sound, a pleasant sound, this throaty groan, and this time he doesn’t push Peter away. Peter hates that sound— but as long as you’re touching him he won’t hurt you— AS LONG AS YOU'RE TOUCHING HIM HE WON'T HURT YOU and he tries the zipper but he can’t get it—and the man’s hand on his wrist—

—for a stupid second, a stupid Parker second, Peter thinks he’s gonna stop him—

—and the zipper, the man doing it himself, and then the man’s pushing Peter’s hand inside.

Peter knows what to do.

The man whispers, “Oh—oh, god,” and squeezes Peter’s wrist harder and harder like he’s about to stop him. “Yes—ah—yes, keep—oh, f*ck . Yes, yes—oh, god—” Peter’s gone for a while, time coming over him like a cool fog, and he falls through it—doing what he’s supposed to do, the only thing he’s good for, the only thing that makes the pain stop for a while, the only thing that works.

And after a few minutes, the man makes a loud sound through his open mouth, a groan, and then he falls back a little, slack, wetness slimy on Peter’s hand.

Suddenly, the man lets out this sharp gasp and shoves Peter backwards, and Peter hits the floor hard enough that his head cracks against the ground, so Peter just lays there and prays that was enough because he’s good, he did good, PLEASE—I DID GOOD—PLEASE—NO MORE—I CAN’T— curling up on the concrete, guarding his head with his hands, and the man says, “Oh, God—what did I just do…” A strange breath. “What’s wrong with me…”

What?

That sentence—it echoes, resounding in Peter’s skull. hBeck doesn’t say things like that—Beck doesn’t… Confusion pulses in his chest—a sick stab of feeling in Peter’s haze of fever and pain. A slip of blood in the crack of his swollen eye, and at last he forces it open.

The man staring down at him is not Beck at all.

It’s a man he doesn’t know.

He’s in a soldier’s uniform—black camo and thick rubber boots and a kevlar vest. He is dark-skinned and bald and he looks nothing like Beck—

Terror comes over his— he just—he just—

Peter feels something crack in him—his mind splinters, because—he couldn’t have—he wouldn’t—he only—

Tears—humiliated tears, horrible tears and the breathing gets worse, mucusy blood sliding down from his nose, wetness sliding hot down his face. I didn’t mean to, he thinks, and the tears come harder. I didn’t—I didn’t—

There’s some shuffling like cloth and a zipper going up, and then the man says, “Come on, Parker, let’s go—” And he grabs Peter by the back of his jumpsuit and drags him out of the room, and Peter’s screaming then, thrashing, but he’s so weak it only requires one person to take him down. The man gets an arm latched around Peter’s waist and he screams gargles through his mouth; bloody saliva runs down his chin and the man just drags him forward— NO! NO! NOT THE CHAIR— “Would you shut up?” the man hisses. “People are gonna think I did something to you—shut up, I said shut up—“

Something smacks hard into Peter’s head, and he’s out again.

When he comes to, they’ve stopped moving, and there are two voices around him—the one holding him, and another a few feet away.

“The hell are you doing?” snaps one. “Put him back. You know you’re not supposed to…” The man shifts him, and Peter’s head lolls back. “Oh. Oh, sh*t. Who—”

“You know who.”

Jesus. ” Shuffle to Peter. Someone grabs a fistful of hair and pulls up, turning Peter’s aching head to see. “He did all this?”

“Looks like. Dude needs to rein it in.”

“I know, right? Here, let me take him—you update Charlie.”

Arms and arms and shifting around, and Peter goes away for a while—into that sweet limbo space, into nothingness and safe, and when the world hits him again they’re in the elevator—all the way down. Peter’s body moves with each step, sways—he thinks he’s been slung over someone’s shoulder, his arms swaying beneath him, a shoulder pressed into his gut, each step sending him side to side. Peter lets out a small sound and the man says, “Almost there.”

Through the operating room doors: the smell of antiseptic and chemicals, of washed fabric and a blondish-gray haired man—all the way down, all the way down, all the way down to the doctor.

A ping and the sound of elevator doors rattling open. More walking, more walking, and two more sets of doors, and finally—

Another man’s voice: “What’s going on? I already—”

“Got a present for you, Doc.”

Hands release him—Peter hits the cement hard and just lays there, wheezing slow—spikes of pain in his chest. Are they gonna—are they gonna—

A suck in of air, a ragged gasp. “O-oh. Holy—” Footsteps coming closer, hesitant. “Is he—what did you do to him?”

“Wasn't me,” the first man says. “Just clean him up, alright? We’ll come back for him in an hour.”

“What happened? I told Charlie he was sick—he said he wouldn’t—”

“Wasn’t Charlie, either.”

A horrible pause. “Oh,” he says.

Some more movement, and something hard nudges at Peter’s back—he cringes hard, covering his bloodied face. “One hour, doc. Then we’ll be back for him.”

Pounding footsteps and the slamming doors—a click, the lock.

Peter’s chest—it’s splitting with pain, every breath, and he tries again, breathing, and it hitches halfway. Liquid runs down the side of his face—maybe his mouth or his eyes or his nose. He coughs weakly, a slip of pained air, takes in half a breath, and when he tries to breath out it comes out a frail whimper.

A man closer—AND CLOSER— AND CLOSER—

Peter screams.

“Peter,” says a man. “Hey—hey… just me, hon. just me.”

And then he’s mumbling, “I’m s’ry, so—so…rry, s’r…” — and he just keeps saying it and keeps saying it and please, please, I can’t do it anymore , but the man is close now, close enough to touch, close enough to grab him, and Peter sobs and he hears Beck’s voice all low in his head—

do it like I taught you, DO IT LIKE I TAUGHT YOU—

—so Peter grasps onto the man’s shirt with his hands—bruised hands, crooked hands, stupid pathetic freakish hands—feels for the buttons, trying so hard, fumbling like a stupid kid, and he can’t—he’s so tired, he’s so f*cking tired…

The man says then, tiredly, “Oh, Peter…” and he pushes Peter’s trembling hands away and Peter starts crying again because he can’t do it with his stupid broken fingers, and the man’s gonna do it—he knows he’s gonna do it—and Peter will have to take it— and the blood in the toilet— and he can feel his body there and he’s—

—gone, gone, the world gone away, and he’s somewhere else, color and sound moving around him, and he’s nothing, and everything is quiet—

—and when Peter comes to, his jumpsuit’s buttoned back up, all the way back up, and there’s the slosh of something, a painkiller in him, pleasant numbness soothing the everpresent ache in him. A man is holding him sideways, faceup to the ceiling and close to his chest and Peter can hear his heartbeat thumping warm through soft cloth. The man is rocking him, a steady motion, and he’s humming something, soft, and patting his back slow. It’s nice, really nice and Peter just cries, because he doesn’t even know the song, because he doesn’t know where he is, because there’s a man here and he’s f*cking terrified—

—but there’s a hand patting slowly, steadily, gently at his back, not in his pants, not at his throat, not at his thigh or his ass or his jaw, and no one ever touches him like that anymore, except maybe Beck, but Peter’s so f*cking confused, and he gargles, “B’ck, Be…k, s’ry…”

It’s just me,” says the man, and Peter struggles to recognize the voice, but for now Peter’s warm and he turns his face into the man’s coat and cries anyway, hiccups and tears. “ The doctor, Peter. Just the doctor.” He shudders, frightened, and the touch somehow gets softer, the pressure smooth and gentle, like breathing in a cool gust of mist. “ See the coat, buddy? It's me. just me.”

“Doc…” he sobs, the only word he knows.

There at Peter’s back, a warm hand. The man is shushing him, that nice sound, like for frightened dogs and crying babies, and that slow soft humming, like the hum of an air conditioner, like the familiar creak of an old house. The man’s got a nice voice. A kind voice, slow and low and it’s not gruff or screaming or lusty and dark—it’s just here, humming from one song to the next, his chest occasionally moving against Peter's head whenever he takes a breath. Sometimes, the man sings the words, but mostly he’s just humming. Humming and rocking, humming and rocking and holding Peter like he’s something good.

No one ever holds him like this anymore.

He sobs—it comes out of him like vomit. Wet bloody tears, and the man’s white coat is ruined by Peter’s tears, by his f*cked up face, and Peter grabs the man harder and harder with his hands, fists in his white coat—THEY’RE GONNA TAKE ME FROM YOU PLEASE—PLEASE—DON’T LET THEM TAKE ME—THEY ALWAYS TAKE ME—PLEASE—LET ME STAY—

If I could,” whispers the man, “ I’d let you stay here forever, Peter. I’d lock those doors and I’d keep them from you forever.”

The man cradles him, in a chair maybe; Peter can hear the creak. The man keeps going, slow and steady, tipping the chair up and down with his feet: rocking him, cradling him, his arms gentle and unmoving— oh, God —and through his swollen eyes, Peter just cries.

He thought he’d never experience this again, the warm pressure of a hand at his back—ever again. Peter claws at the doctor’s white coat—that precious white coat—his only sign of good, of f*cking heaven—and Peter grasps it tight in his broken fingers, and he wants to keep it—God, can he stay here forever?

And then he’s gone—slips away for just a second—

(“So,” says Tony, “you and MJ, huh?”

Peter flushes pink. “Uh.”

“It’s okay—it’s okay—I know kids are” —Mr. Stark drags out the air quotes, “sensitive these days about talking about dating and sex and everything else—”

“We’re not dating,” he blurts out, focusing entirely on the webshooter in front of him. Heat grows in his chest and drifts up into his face, and he fiddles with it so hard that a canister of web clanks out of its slot and clatters onto the table. “We’re not.”

Mr. Stark lifts his hands in surrender—forgetting he’s still connected to the empty Iron Man suit a few feet away, and the metal-encased suit raises its gloved hands, too, mirroring him. “I heard you the first twenty times—I don’t care what you call it—hooking up, going steady, situationshipping—”

“That is not a thing people say,” Peter says, clicking the web canister back into its tiny slot and testing out the mechanism. “And MJ and I are just friends, I told you that.”

The man waves his hands at him—a yeah, yeah—and the Iron Man suit does the same. “Whatever you kids want to call it these days.”

It is April now, and the sun comes in warm through the windows. It was April Fool’s Day yesterday—Peter and Mr. Stark spent the week prior plotting a way to paint Happy’s black van pink.

They work in silence a little longer. Mr. Stark is shifting to his table, standing beside him, looking down at the newly fixed web-shooter, and eventually, the man clears his throat. “I get it, buddy, no one wants to talk about this—but I just wanna make sure. If you and MJ…do…decide to do anything, then I just want you to be safe. So if you need anything, or you wanna talk about anything, I’m right here.”

Peter doesn’t look at him, he just keeps fiddling with the thing, screwing and twisting the screwdriver, adjusting it tighter and tighter around his wrist. He can feel his blush still there in his face, pressing at his cheeks. “Thanks,” he says, because he doesn’t know what else to say. “But I’m good—we’re totally good—there’s nothing to talk about.”

Terse silence, and Mr. Stark clears his throat, coughing a couple times into his fist. Another pause, and then, “If you’d rather, I can get Pepper to chat it up instead—she can give you a two-hour lecture about the difference between different types of condoms, because I’m sure she’d be happy to—”

“Oh my God, Mr. Stark, please don’t,” he says, and the tension between them pops, both of them giggling, and for a moment there, on his back, Tony’s hand. Warm and firm, a couple pats, and the man returns to his workstation.)

—and Peter’s back— where is he—WHERE IS HE— shuddering and breathing hard, he’s against someone—what is this—what is this—

And Peter hears it again: that sweet humming, the shushing, and that steady rocking, back and forth, back and forth.

“M’st’r… St… St…” he chokes out—HELP ME—HELP ME—I NEED—I NEED YOU—

I’m right here, Peter. I’ve got you.”

“St-t…t’rk…”

A tired sigh. “ Yeah, hon. It’s me.”

The man holds him steady, and maybe for just a few more minutes, for a few more holy precious seconds—Peter is safe. He hums, and Peter can feel the vibration next to his head. And clenched in his sweaty fist is a fabric, beautiful white fabric, and God, please, he wants to stay here forever—

“I should've told them it was contagious,” the man whispers, “I should've… I’m so sorry, I thought they’d… I'm sorry, Peter. I'm so, so sorry.”

Peter hides in the man’s arms; he shivers. He wants to shroud himself in this white coat, wants to bundle himself up. He doesn’t want to let go—he wants to stay like this forever, cradled in this man’s arms, knowing that no one will hurt him, knowing he’s safe a couple seconds more.

This would be a good way to die, he thinks, with feverish clarity, and a part of him hopes he does.

But he can’t—Peter has to stay: to protect Cassie, to make sure what happened to him at eight years old doesn’t happen to her at seven. To make sure she keeps that unmistakable light in her eyes.

So Peter holds on, holding fast in that white coat: even as his mind goes foggy, even as the world goes soft with fever, even as the white coat blurs before his eyes. “D’n’t wanna…go…” he sobs through broken lips, burying his face in the cool cloth.

The man murmurs something back, and he doesn’t hear it. He’s too far gone. “D’n…w’nna…” he cries, and a small high sound leaves him, desperate to stay—and it hurts to speak and it hurts to try but he wants to stay— “please, pl’s… don’t wanna…g-go…” Peter tries to stay, he really does—

—but his fever is coming back, and he’s too tired to fight it. He’s too tired to even try.

And Peter can’t hold on for much longer.

Peter tips his face into the doctor’s coat and takes a shaky, tear-steeped breath of him. His mouth tastes like salt: like blood, like tears. The man is saying something, and Peter mumbles, “I’m—m s’ry…”

Peter’s so tired—he’s so f*cking tired, and his grip weakens as that cool numbness comes to take him. He feels it—the haze of fever crawling up and up in him, the pain sweeping high in his flailing chest, the soothe of drugs creeping its way past his eyes.

And Peter—

—stupid, pathetic Peter Parker—

—lets it take him.

(“How’s he doing?” asks Pepper.

“Better,” says Tony, and Peter feels a cool hand on his forehead, a palm, and then the hand flips over—Mr. Stark’s knuckles, the smooth back of his hand. “Fever’s gone down a little, but you know him—Spider-genes like to fight off everything in sight.”

“He sleeping?”

“In and out.”

Peter is too tired to speak. He tries to mumble a sorry and all that comes out of him is a mild groan.

“And May?”

“Getting off a night shift—I talked to her, and she should be here in half an hour.”

Some talking between the two of them.

“Stay,” he murmurs,

Peter’s hand on Tony’s wrist.

He’s not sure if he says it out loud but he must because the man in the t-shirt chuckles lightly and says, “I’m not going anywhere—not until you stop feeling like a damn radiator, kid. Go back to sleep.”

But every time he feels himself slip away, he brings himself back, jerking awake and squeezing his fingers tight around Tony’s wrist. “I’ll be right here when you wake up, okay? Just go back to sleep.”

He mumbles something in response—he doesn’t know what. The world is much too warm and his vision is spotty.

A warm chuckle. Then there it is again, a hand on Peter’s arm, a gentle pat— “Don’t fight it, bud. I promise I’ll wake you when she’s here.”

He mumbles again, moving his hand against the sheets.

“It’s okay,” Mr. Stark says. “You can sleep, Pete. May’ll be here soon.”

Peter can feel the exhaustion pull at him—and pull at him—and pull at him. He can smell Mr. Stark’s closeness in the air—hazelnut coffee and motor oil, sweat and a smile. So he blinks his eyes open for a second, gets a glimpse of Mr. Stark’s unmistakable beard, and closes his eyes again.

Letting go of Mr. Stark’s wrist, Peter gives in—and lets sleep take him away.)

Notes:

so i graduated, hooray, home again for a bit before i move out, will keep up with the old schedule but i might change the day? how about like thursday? hoppin back on that weekly grind. things feel a bit easier now, lol. less stress. thank u so much for being patient, i love every one of u. those random messages u guys kept commenting rly kept me going. i'm doing a lot better lol.

anywayyy hope u liked the chap, lots of stuff in there that i've had written for a while, jsyk most of those side convos with charlie's crew - peter doesn't even rly hear those, it's just kinda sound mush to him; and also like the reason he keeps remembering tony instead of may is because (1) may's dead and he doesn't like thinking about it and (2) he encounters tony daily over the phone so he's consistently reminded of him

but yea, basically, after this, peter was kinda gone. mind kinda gave out. after all the mixups and all the beck/charlie/tony stuff, he just kinda gave up.

so yea anyway, plz comment and tell me what u think, i'm gonna keep writing that wack legal chapter coming up, thx for ur patience and love lol, i told u i'd never give up on this thing haha :) this fic's my baby fr

plz tell me if i have typos or like unfinished sentences, u k i have no editor , the humiliation will kill me if i find them myself lol

anyone else playing zelda totk cuz that's all i'm doing now oml

Chapter 48: wolf at the door

Summary:

just a short little chapter, tony and peter, night of sep 21 (two days before the hearing). tony is pacing outside the door because he's figuring out how to tell peter about the hearing. the pacing freaks peter out. tony has to fix it.

Notes:

this isn't like a concrete chapter, just something i've been working on lol

title from 'wolf at the door' by radiohead

cw: maybe mentions of non-consensual drug use? and like lowkey mentions of violence

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 21 — 10:12 PM

Peter doesn’t want to sleep. He can’t.

He sits up on the bed, curling his arm over his sore stomach. The pain curls in him, a phantom ache, and Peter’s not quite sure why it hurts: could be the drugs, the fear, or maybe this is just what Peter is now: a reservoir of old pains and remembered scars. He quickly glances to Cassie as she plays on the floor; her mother is sleeping on the cot in the corner, blanket loose over her.

He doesn’t know where Tony is—when did he leave? When’s he coming back?

He gets up and limps to the door. Peter is well enough now that he can limp around the room—something he hasn’t been able to do for a while. He forgot what it was like to feel like this—to be able to move his limbs without extraordinary effort. He takes a moment to remember it, this feeling—the hollow absence of pain in his limbs, the hum of painkillers warm in his veins. He’s not used to feeling this: good. There are no open wounds on him today. No hard-scabbed slashes, no blotchy burns weeping pus, no bruises darkening, darkening, darkening until they fade sore and yellow.

Peter presses his hands against the door to make sure it’s closed—and it presses flat against his palms: closed. Peter checks a couple more times, and then hurries back to the bed, drags the blanket over himself, breathing hard. It’s closed, it is, but even still—

—he comes for you, he always comes for you, stupid Parker, stupid Petey Parker, you know he’s coming for you— because this is when Beck comes, this is when he always comes: right as tiredness presses against him, just as he’s falling asleep, he’ll wake up with him—with him— with him—WITH HIM—

Someone’s whispering his name, whispering his name and Peter jumps but it’s just Cassie—standing there on the floor, she’s standing up. She wasn’t standing up before, was she? In her hand is that zebra, that stuffed zebra she’s taken to. “Who…” Peter tries, because he can’t remember. Who gave that to her?

“Alexis,” she tells him. “She’s nice.”

and Peter runs through their names in his head: Mateo, Caitlyn, Daria…. Haroun, Riri… Alexis? Was she new? Was she—

“She’s a doctor,” Cassie whispers. “She wears pink.”

He’s seen her before. Scrubs like the doctor’s. White shoes.

Peter nods then, staring at that stuffed zebra: black-and-white striped, with beady black eyes. He remembers when they used to get toys. Stuffed ones. Plastic games. That’s how it started. It wasn’t so bad then, the toys that came with their meals, playing house and restaurant and everything Cassie could think of.

Then they tried to run.

Peter’s thinking about running again, and his breathing goes quick in his chest. He can’t—he can’t run. He sees it then—the sharp plastic shank clutched in Cassie’s hand, the frayed shoelace keeping it tied to her wrist, her shrieking his name so loud her voice goes shrill. Cassie slipping in the pool and struggling to stand. Cassie dragged backwards by her hair. Cassie forced up against the wall, kicking her legs. Cassie right there, somewhere there, sobbing and watching him bleed—

Peter squeezes his eyes shut so hard his vision purples with spots. He wants to throw open the door of this room and bolt out into the hallway. Maybe he’ll find a door at the end, too, one thick and metal with a password-locked number pad.

Part of him knows that the door’s not there. It can’t be. “The Tower,” he whispers, to remind himself. “Avengers… Tower.”

Peter knows where he is. He does. He just…forgets sometimes. It’s hard to remember, and he spends too much time thinking about what’s on the other side of the door to think about anything else. He thinks he hears footsteps: nervous footsteps, and he inhales sharply, trying to find the reek of drugs that he knows is there. Angel dust for Charlie. Meth for Lyle. Opiods for Ava, and sometimes she slid him some through the food slot, crushed into a fine powder, dusty in a plastic bag. Got the good stuff, she’d whisper, eyes glancing down the corridor for Charlie, brown hair tangled up in the collar of her shirt. You want it?

Yeah, he’d whisper back, and she’d pass it to him. Ava was the only one who ever gave him a choice.

Footsteps. More footsteps. Pacing back and forth in front of his door, a couple one way and then the other—oh, God. Who’s out there? Heavier, a man’s steps, and Peter grips the railing of his bed so hard his knuckles go white. He blinks again, tries to blink away the growing pressure of panic gripping his chest, squeezing and squeezing.

More footsteps, and he freezes on the bed, his entire body locking up, and something cold spills open in his chest—

—YOU NEVER LEARN—YOU NEVER f*ckING LEARN, PARKER! YOU UNGRATEFUL LITTLE FREAK! YOU’RE GONNA LEARN! YOU’RE GONNA f*ckING—

“Peter?” whispers Cassie. She’s got on a hoodie, one from Peter’s box—not the clothes her family brought for her. It’s Peter’s, he knows, from a long time ago. Yellow with MIDTOWN HIGH printed across the front, the hood drawn up over her short hair.

He looks at her.

She scoots closer and closer. “We’re in a good place. Mommy says.”

“I know,” he says, and Peter hates that he’s confusing her, that she’s looking at him like that. Medbay. He’s in the Medbay. Not the bunker. Not locked in. The door’s not locked.

But everything feels wrong, and he can feel someone there, pacing outside—

brown-haired, brown-eyed—

Cassie pokes his arm. “Mommy says—”

Peter makes a small noise, a hiss between his teeth, and she goes quiet very fast. He feels on edge, it’s like someone’s holding a fire under his feet—he’s listening, he’s listening, he has to listen outside to know when he’s coming— because he always comes, he always, always comes—

A knock at the door, and Peter flinches and stills himself— here, he’s here —no, that’s just—just Tony. Just Tony. Right?

Three knocks is Tony, two is Dr. Cho, four is Cassie’s mom.

Tony. Just Tony.

But then the door starts to open and that horrible muscle-splitting fear scrapes down his back—HE’S HERE—HE’S HERE—HE’S—

Peter scrambles off the bed. His casted wrist bangs against the railing, “Iron Man,” he hisses, grabbing her and Cassie dives behind him in the corner of the room—the bed has no room under it, and Peter backs her into it—this is as close as he can get to the three-walled safety of the bed that they used to have.

Finally, the door opens—Peter freezes, the creak sending a spiral of panic up his spine, and he presses Cassie back into the corner; she grasps his arm tight.

Two knocks again on the opening door. “Just me,” says the man, as his face comes into view. Dark beard, unbrushed black hair, long-sleeved shirt and light-colored jeans.

It’s Tony.

Just Tony.

Peter nods, wordless, the panic still thick in his chest. He tries to remind himself that he’s fine, but his body doesn’t know how to unclench. Not him, he thinks. Not—

”Hey, Pete,” says the man, shutting the door behind him. He stops there at the doorway, staring at the corner where Peter is, where Cassie hides behind him. “You okay?”

Peter takes in a shaky breath; he can feel the dread seep into him like ocean water, filling him up, murky in him and growing colder. OUTSIDE, he thinks, he’s outside, you heard him pacing, he’s gonna get you— and all of a sudden his breath catches in him— UP, PARKER, GET THE f*ck UP!

Tony follows his gaze, twists his head back to the door and then back to Peter. “Outside? Yeah, that was me. Sorry, kid, didn’t mean to scare you.”

Peter shudders—there’s something out there— someone out there— and he knows it’s coming, he knows how the door will open, the twist in the lock, the opening door, a bearded man’s high cackle, a shrill whistle— IT’S TIME, PARKER! UP!

he doesn’t want to go, he doesn’t want to— don’t take me, please don’t—

“He’s gonna—” Peter tries, panic climbing up his neck, and Cassie grips his hand tightly, inhaling rapidly, “he’s—out—out there—”

“There’s no one out there,” the man says, a little quieter. He looks thinner, too—his clothes hang on him different than Peter’s used to. “It was just me, buddy, I swear…”

Peter shakes his head. He can still hear it, the echo of pacing, heavy footsteps— left and then right, louder and louder, closer and closer— and something crawls up his back, prickles up every hair on his spine.

Cassie says something to him, and it’s muffled, foggy, and he squeezes his eyes shut again, opening them. Tony’s still talking: “…and her mom should be back in a second, she’s just taking a quick shower…”

“Tony,” he manages.

“Yeah, bud.”

He points with a trembling hand—HE KNOWS—OUT THERE— “He—he—there’s— out there—”

“Hey, hey…” says the man, kneeling on the floor with him, but he’s closer and Peter backs up, gasping, his head going hazy from air, air pumping in and out of him—HE’S OUT THERE—PLEASE—HE’S GONNA—panic punches him and he’s dizzy with it, clawing his sweaty hands at his hair, his face hollow and tingling with blood.

HE’S COMING—

“…Pete. Hey, hey, hey… Peter, look at me, buddy.”

Peter forces his head up and his vision’s swimming, blurry, water in his eyes, WHO—WHO— “Tony,” he manages, grasping at a strand of recognition: the blue pulsing light.

“Yeah,” says the man, with a strange exhale. “Good job, bud. Just me, I swear.”

“He’s… He’s…” He looks back at the door, and then he shuts his eyes again. HIDE—YOU HAVE TO HIDE—BEFORE HE—

Peter blinks himself back, spots waning in his vision, and finds himself clinging to Tony’s arm, the man’s sleeve imprinted with fingers of his own sweat. “…no one out there,” the man’s saying. “Do you want to check? I promise—”

Peter inhales so fast he goes dizzy again, and Tony stops talking. He’s grasping Tony’s arm so hard he can feel the man’s pulse in his forearm, heavy and a slight stutter. Please don’t make me, he thinks, please, PLEASE—

“Okay,” the man says. “We’ll try something else then, keep the door closed, is that okay?”

Behind him, Cassie peeks her head out at Tony; Peter doesn’t say a word.

“Hey, FRI?” the man says, tipping his bearded chin up to the ceiling.

A female voice from somewhere above him, familiar and vaguely Irish. “Yes, boss?”

Peter remembers her.

“Could you scan the hallway for me, please?”

“Nobody in the hallway, boss.”

Tony smiles at him, warm, his mouth pulling up on one side; Peter unclenches his hand a little, trying to take in a couple breaths. “Anyone in the elevator?”

“Ms. Potts is in the elevator, headed up to the penthouse, sir.”

“And the Paxtons?”

“Both on their residential floor.”

“Anyone else nearby?”

A short pause, and then she announces, “Dr. Helen Cho and the other medical staff are in the conference room;.” With every word, the terror dizzying him eases, and his vision starts to clear. “ Dr. Sarah Wilson is in her office, and Dr. Alexis Miranda is in the stairwell on the phone.”

“FRIDAY,” Peter says, and he remembers her. Always announcing his arrival to the lab, always chiming in to Tony’s comments, always adjusting his chemistry errors and making sure he didn’t forget his backpack. “She’s…here?”

“Yep,” says Tony. “Installed her back last night, every room in the building, buddy. She won’t lie to you.”

Peter sniffs, the prickle of panic still there in his chest, and he pulls away from Tony’s sleeve, relaxing a little bit; his face is still wet. He looks up at the ceiling. “FRIDAY?”

A female voice from the ceiling, a little tinny from speakers: “Hello, Peter.”

Peter blinks. “You remember me?”

FRIDAY says, “Of course I remember you, Peter.”

Behind him, Cassie grips his hand, whispers something about wanting to go play; she can feel it, too—his shoulders slumping a little, his breathing slowing, and he squeezes her hand back twice: okay.

Tony lightly touches Peter’s wrist. “Anything you need, anything you want—FRIDAY’s got you, okay?”

Peter nods shakily. Cassie slips past him to the toy box and starts digging through it, whispering to herself about treasure chests.

Tony talks to him for a while—about all the things FRIDAY can do: change the lights, alert medical staff, even tell him when his next meal is. He rambles about tech and code for a while, somewhat talking to himself, and eventually he says, “...but you don’t have to stay in here. You know that, right?”

Peter presses his lips together and shakes his head. He’s sitting on the floor now, up against the wall, watching Cassie play with her stuffed animals out of the corner of his eye.

“This isn’t…” Tony adds. “I don’t know. I just don’t want you to feel like you’re trapped here.”

Peter just stares at him. Trapped, he thinks. LIKE A f*ckING ANIMAL, PARKER! GONNA PUT YOU DOWN LIKE A—

“Sarah said…” The man clears his throat, and then he palms a little at the glowing blue light there. “She said you might be staying in here because you feel safer. Is that… Is that right?”

Peter takes a moment to take in the question; doesn’t know what the right answer is, and finds that word ringing in his head: safer, safer, safer; a coil of dread twists in his belly, twists and twists, and he swallows without answering.

Tony shakes his head, mutters to himself a little. “Sorry. I just—I don’t want you to feel…” He rubs his forehead. “Maybe, we could get something you like in here? More posters, or… A beanbag chair? You want a beanbag chair? You always begged me for one in the lab, and I always said it was a tripping hazard, but now…” He scratches at his too-long beard. “Whatever you want, Pete. I know it’s not like home, but I want it to feel…”

Peter glances at the corner—the bin full of clothes. Beside it, Cassie’s box full of toys. Posters covering the walls, pictures of people that Peter is too nervous to look at. Peter presses his mouth clothed, staring at the glowing blue light in Tony’s chest. He doesn’t remember Tony ever having something like that in him. It used to be in his suit.

“...but you don’t have to stay here,” he says. “Okay? This is your home…for now, but it’s not…” He trails off again, gnaws on his lip.

Pete is thinking about the apartment he left behind. Home. Is this his home now? Wasn’t the bunker his home once, too?

Eventually, the older man stops talking; he gives Peter an exhausted look, and he lets out a small sigh. “And your friends,” he says, “if you want them to come visit…I don’t know if you do, but they’re around, you know, keep asking about you…”

“Friends,” he echoes.

“Yeah,” the man says, and gives him an odd look. “You remember, don’t you?”

Peter shrugs a little and glances over at Cassie; she’s still playing by herself, cradling a stuffed animal in her lap and humming to it. Ned, he thinks, and MJ, but he can’t bring either of their faces to mind. A muted tapping sound, and Peter looks up; Tony’s tapping the wall, where there are a row of photos taped up. “Remember?” he says, and without looking Peter knows the photo: it was Ned’s home screen on his phone: a photo of himself, Peter, and MJ at a decathlon meet in matching yellow jackets.

But Peter turns away from it, lets his hair dangle in front of his face like a sh*tty curtain.

A strained sigh. “Peter…”

But Tony keeps talking, and he talks for a while more, and Peter just listens. It’s easy like this, Tony not moving any closer to him, sitting on the floor beside him, Peter just listening without responding. “…and we’re still a little worried about safety—but we can go to different floors in the building, we could go for a drive, maybe even the Quinjet if you want. Whatever you want. The lab… All your stuff is still there. Project Kevlar even, all your hard work from the spring, remember that? It was a great idea.”

Peter looks up at him; his neck aches from the effort. “What?” he whispers, and he rubs at his nose, at the tube there.

“Project Kevlar,” Tony repeats, and he’s frowning at him; is he angry? Peter crooks his knees up to his chest, hugs his legs up close to him. Cold creeps into him, chills spreading down his arms and legs, and he hugs his knees tighter. “No, buddy—I just… Your project. From April?”

Peter stares at his knees.

“It was still in the lab,” Tony says, “upstate, when… when… When it happened.” A flash of emotion on the man’s face, his eyes darting to one side and then back to Peter. “You wanted to make an alert system? To keep people…” The man’s still frowning at Peter, and he ducks his head, tries not to think about the way Tony is looking at him. “safe…” He shakes his head. “You don’t remember?”

Peter ducks his head, locks his elbows around his shins, staring down at his socked feet. “Sorry,” he mumbles into his knees, shame pressing at his sore chest. “All messed up.”

“What’s messed up?”

Peter blinks slowly, and he screws up his brow. “My head,” he says.

That seems to quiet the man, but eventually he starts rambling about beanbag chairs again, and eventually it grows late enough that Dr. Cho knocks, enters, and tells them both to go to sleep.

Tony heads to the bathroom first—a jittery shuffle, like an old man’s—and when he comes back he sits beside Peter on the floor and says, “There was—uh—something I wanted to tell you…”

Peter squints up at him.

A long pause. The man gnaws on his lip, glancing at the photos on Peter’s wall, and then down at his own hands. “Just, uh, we—” A low thrum of panic hits Peter’s chest. “We wanted to tell you…” Tony rubs his forehead with the back of his hand. “Nevermind,” he says at last. “It’s nothing—just a medicine change, that’s all.”

Peter nods. He still feels strange, shaken by the thought of someone at the door, and he can feel the worry press at him. “You good for bed?” Tony asks, and he nods back. “Alright. Good. Well, uh, if you need anything, just wake me up, okay?”

Peter shrugs.

Cassie falls asleep first—in Peter’s arms, small raspy huffs, and he holds her a little sideways. Tony next, still dressed and sprawled on the cot, phone still in one twitching hand, mumbling in his sleep.

“Hey, FRIDAY?” Peter whispers, when both of them are sleeping soundly.

“Yes, Peter?” FRIDAY whispers back.

“Is there…” He swallows, and he scratches at his wrist, his fingernail catching on a ropey scar. “Are there people?”

"Where?"

"Out there?"

“In the hallway?” FRIDAY asks.

“Yeah.”

A short pause, like she’s thinking, and then the AI responds, “No one in the hallway, Peter.”

He tightens his grip on his arms, hugging his knees close to himself. “Are you—are you—are you sure?” he whispers.

“One hundred percent."

Peter glances at the door one more time, and then he climbs up on the bed, his leg spiking with pain as he does. It takes some time to get in a comfortable position. He buries himself in blankets, and the tubes from his central line hurt, an aching spot where each needle’s there in him. He’s not supposed to take it out. He asks FRIDAY the same question again, and she answers: no one in the hallway. "Sorry," he whispers.

"What are you sorry for?" asks FRIDAY, sounding a little confused.

Peter hates the question so much that he pulls his pillow over his head and pretends he's back in the bunker with Cassie—safe there, alone together, knowing exactly what will happen next.

When Peter finally falls asleep, he’s still in pain, and his stomach is growling—a familiar feeling, like a wolf asleep in his belly.

Notes:

hooray more tony and peter hurt/comfort, we love to see it, peter kinda refusing to ask for help, tony trying to help him without pushing too hard, and this whole time the hearing is just like looming over them but tony doesn't wanna say anythingggggg. buddy's srsly screwing things up for peter but like eh we all get it.

kinda interesting how peter relates the medbay to the bunker, about how he kind of doesn't have a choice related to medical care/drug stuff, even though he sort of does now? but still he feels like he doesn't? how he's kind of kept in this room but it's not the same? i don't think he even knows that he's doing it.

also thinking about the photos on the wall that peter just hasn't looked at ONCE bc he knows exactly what's in them. i don't think it's much about him seeing mj and ned or may, but about him seeing himself in those pictures, he doesn't want to face the fact that he looks way different now...

ALSO peter imagining he's in the bunker to feel safe just MESSES with me because like YES he knows he's physically safer in the medbay but it's like SO confusing for him bc he got so USED to it that now he feels almost worse because he doesn't know what's gonna happen next

anyway sorry the schedule's weird as of right now, i'm like job searching and stuff soooo just hang in there, love u all,

Chapter 49: don't you know you're out of time?

Notes:

in honor of the great ao3 shutdown, here's the next chapter. don't know when i'm gonna get the next one in cuz my cousins r visiting.

title from 'pretend' by alex g

plus i forget who asked for a peter-going-outside scene but here u go

cw: mentions of kidnapping/violence obv, nothing crazy

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 22 — 7:30 AM

Tony gets up before Peter in the morning.

He rehearses how he’s gonna tell the kid—again and again, he goes over it. You will have to leave your room. You will have to leave the Tower. You will have to see Charlie and every other guy who hurt you. By the time they’re supposed to wake him, Sarah’s already by the door, writing in her notebook. She’s wearing a dress today, a nice purple one with a matching belt. She looks tired; although, Tony supposes, they all look tired now. She looks up as he enters, gives him a nod, and says, “How’d you sleep?”

Tony shrugs.

Sarah stares at him a little too long; he forgets sometimes that she’s a psychiatrist, that she can read people as easily as she reads Peter. “Bad dreams?” she asks.

He shrugs again. “C’est la vie,” Tony says, taking another step towards Peter’s door. “You?”

Sarah smiles; by her eyes, small crinkles like her brother’s. “Same as usual,” she says, and then she shuts her notebook, tucking the pen into it. “So—you told him last night?”

She’s talking about Peter. And, no. He hadn’t. He’d paced outside the kids’ door for nearly half an hour thinking about how to break the news, but by the time he’d come in Peter was so freaked by all the pacing that Tony couldn’t bear to tell him. How could he? How could he puncture this perfect bubble of safety he’d created for Peter? Less than three weeks ago, Peter had been near-catatonic, barely speaking, cuffed to the bed and muttering to a teddy bear. He’s barely spent two weeks with Cassie, and he only just reunited with May a couple days ago.

They’ve made so much progress. And Tony knows that as soon as he tells the kid about the hearing, it’ll all come crashing down.

Tony nods to the woman, shuffling his feet. “Yeah,” he lies.

“How’d he take it?” Sarah asks, cracking open her notebook again, clicking the pen open.

He shrugs, fiddling with something in his pocket. “You know how he is.” Sarah nods, tipping her head to the side, so Tony adds a couple other things, more lies, specific enough that eventually Sarah nods and turns back to her notebook.

The hearing is at two o’clock tomorrow—around thirty hours.

And still, Tony finds himself hesitating.

He and Sarah walk the hallway a little more, talking about Peter, about the upcoming hearing, too. When they return to Peter’s door, there’s some noise—commotion, like a couple people talking. Sarah and him glance at each other and quickly knock and move into the room.

The kids are on the bed; Cassie’s mother is standing close by.

Everyone is awake, it seems; behind Peter, the little dark-haired girl is moving, coughing muffled into her hand, making small pained noises, and the girl’s mother is standing up, reaching out for her—but half-sitting between them is Peter, moving bodily between them, guarding the little girl with his body, moving every time the mother moves, keeping her back. “Peter,” says Maggie Paxton, the woman’s clothes still wrinkled from sleep, “just let me—I just want to help her.”

Cassie keeps coughing, gasping in raspy breaths, and she grabs onto Peter with one hand. Asthma, right? Maggie had mentioned it a couple times; Tony’s seen the little girl’s pink inhaler float from parent to parent.

Tony realizes quickly that Peter is not awake at all. He’s moving a little too slow, and he isn’t saying anything at all—blinking the exhaustion from his eyes, looking dull-eyed and empty, like a hollowed-out tree or like his insides have been scraped out with a spoon. Not even talking, just standing in front of Cassie with this f*cking empty look on his face, entire face slack.

“Peter,” says Tony, and the kid twitches a little bit but doesn’t move, eyes trained on Cassie’s mother. “Peter, Pete—wake up. Wake up, buddy.”

The kid does this sometimes—just when he wakes up, the throes of sleep still clinging to him, too tired to remember where he is.

“Cassie, come here, baby…” says the mother, panicked, as Cassie keeps coughing and coughing and clinging to Peter. She tries to lunge for her daughter again, and Peter shoves Cassie further backwards, that dull-eyed glare trained on Maggie.

Sarah, too, has realized what is happening.

“FRIDAY,” Tony announces to his AI, frozen where he is, trying not to startle the kid, “get Helen in here, please.”

“Yes, boss.”

It’s still strange to see her do this—choose Peter over her own mother. A child, Tony knows, so frightened that she turned to a stranger for solace; she’s lucky, thinks Tony suddenly, that it was Peter.

“Pete,” says Tony, turning to the kid, who’s still guarding Cassie like a damn robot, “you gotta wake up, buddy—we’re just trying to help her.”

The boy murmurs something incoherent, his eyes still on Maggie.

“I just moved towards her,” says the girl’s mother, looking close to tears. “She—she was coughing, and he woke up…”

That moment, Dr.Cho comes running in. She assesses the situation quickly, a nurse at her heels, and starts talking fast with the mom, trying to figure out what’s happening.

The kid doesn’t even look at her.

“Peter,” says Tony again, sharper, and the kid blinks. “Come on, buddy, let her help…"

He blinks a couple times, and his eyes graze over Tony, over Sarah, too. After a beat, he sits back a little—a spark of recognition in his brown eyes, and then Peter scans the room from where he’s still squatted on the bed. Cassie coughs again, a ragged sound, each breath loud with effort.

“Pete,” Tony says again. “You with me?”

A long pause, and then a slow nod. “Tony?” the kid croaks.

“Yeah, bud,” he says, taking a step closer to the kid. Peter’s still shaky and a little bleary, looking around the room at all the people. “Can you let us help her?” He points to Cassie, whose wild coughing Peter only now registers; the girl’s still breathing funny, drawing in raspy whines of air.

Even when she can scarcely breathe, Cassie still clings to Peter, hiding behind him as Dr. Cho approaches.

It takes some coaxing—but the kid eventually sits back on the bed and lets Cassie forward. The girl takes a few puffs from her inhaler, a check-in with Cho, and then they’re mostly back to normal.

This is just how it is. Mornings are always hard. One bad dream or wrong noise, and just like that—Peter slips back to where he was a couple weeks ago: completely lost.

Breakfast comes on a tray: a carton of milk, scrambled eggs, a medium-toasted piece of bread, and a cup of mangos. Sarah’s been trying to get them on a less bunker-related food regimen as of late, one that hasn’t worked yet. The nurse sets one tray down at the end of Peter’s bed, passes the other one to Maggie Paxton, and then briskly leaves. Once the door shuts behind her, Peter makes a small sound in Cassie’s direction: a half-whisper too quiet for Tony to hear. Without hearing it, though, Tony still knows the verdict: don’t.

“We’re just trying without the boxes today, buddy,” he says, offering the tray again. Peter’s wearing the same clothes he was yesterday, a hoodie and sweatpants over his medical gown, and he’s drawn the hood up over his tangled hair. “There’s nothing bad about it.”

Peter swallows.

“I promise, buddy, I would never do anything to it.” Tony takes a fork, stabs at it. “Just some eggs, some toast, some mangos…”

Yet still Peter refuses to eat. When Cassie whispers to him, too, the kid clicks his tongue—that sound he makes when he’s telling the little girl ‘no.’

“Peter,” Tony says, and the exasperation in his tone makes Peter look up sharply. “Buddy, there’s nothing wrong with the food… Why…” He’s not supposed to ask why, but he can’t help it. Did Charlie do something to their food? He knows they starved in there—so why would Peter refuse it? What’s wrong with it?

Peter’s dark eyes watch him, still on him—Tony feels uncomfortable for a moment as the kid tries to read him.

“It’s just breakfast,” he says, like that changes anything. “Peter…”

But Peter just drops his eyes to the food, stares at it, and winces before glancing away.

Peter’s reactions are always so strange—this self-awareness that he’s not acting normal anymore, combined with the stress of whatever he’s thinking—leaves him much too quiet. Makes him refuse to eat or eat much too fast; makes him sob or have no reaction whatsoever. Makes him slap people’s hands away from him; makes him stroke at their legs.

“You don’t have to,” Tony says quickly— “We can bring it back in—in the box, or in the cans, if you want, just… I don’t want you to associate here with” —he can’t say the bunker, he can’t say the cell, what should he say?— “that place, Peter, I just want you to feel safe here.”

Peter doesn’t say anything for a while; Tony watches as the boy tugs that knitted cap further and further over his head, covering his tangled hair. “Sorry,” he whispers, in that same submissive tone, like he’s trying to placate the man.

“It’s okay,” Tony says. “That’s okay—there’s nothing… Nothing to be sorry for. We’ll fix it up for you, that’s okay.”

After a beat, the kid nods, his fist gripping the soft edge of the blanket like someone’s about to tear it from him, and it pulls tight across his back.

In a few minutes, a nurse brings back their breakfast in McDonald’s boxes, and Peter makes this small sigh of relief before snatching it from the bed, and both children eat quickly.

Alexis, the little girl’s therapist, brings in some paper and colored pencils. Jim brings a few books, too, kids’ ones for Cassie.

Cassie stares at the books for a long time and hides behind Peter when , offered them. “It’s alright,” says the girl’s mother, with a quick glance to Peter. “These are from home, baby, remember?”

The woman puts some of the books on the bed: Matilda and Charlotte’s Web, Encyclopedia Brown and Magic Tree House and Where the Sidewalk Ends. A whole spill of booksCassie stares down at one: a bright green book with a tipping tree on the cover and a little girl in a red jumper, a book Tony hasn’t seen in an extraordinarily long time. “You remember this one?”

The Giving Tree. Tony remembers his mother reading him that book when he was young.

Cassie glances up at Peter; the boy gives a quick shake of his head, eyes on the book. She gnaws at her thumb with her teeth, nervous, and backs away from it, looping her arm around Peter’s and hiding behind the teenager.

Another harmless gift—rejected.

God, these kids. They won’t watch television, they won’t listen to music, won’t play video games, won’t read books. won’t even have their friends to visit. They’ll barely hold a conversation for longer than a minute, and even when he does Peter rarely says more than a couple words. Cassie will play with her toys sometimes, but rarely Peter; the kid’s always so hesitant to join in—all he wants to do is watch the damn door.

“Hypervigilance,” Sarah called it. “Normal, for someone in their situation.” They keep trying to pull the kids away from it—the hypervigilance—but here they are again.

“I got you a new phone,” tries Tony, pulling a new StarkPhone out of his pocket, and he holds it out to the kid. It’s still got the plastic cover, and it doesn’t even have a case. Red, like Peter likes. “It’s pretty blank, though. We could load your friends’ numbers onto it, or May’s, or mine… Whatever you want. Games, too, uh, music…” He adds, a pointless joke, “Snapbook or Snapface or whatever you call it…”

Peter must not hear the joke—or maybe he just doesn’t find it funny, because he doesn’t acknowledge one word that Tony’s said, staring hollowly at the shiny red phone. His brown eyes linger on it—and then he gazes up at Tony without saying a word.

The kid’s mouth downturns, his mouth pressing in—the stress is obvious. Tony watches as his hands clench on the bed railing, as his eyes dart to the phone and back.

“It’s not a gift,” Tony says; the kid’s neck bobs with a pained swallow. “Just…insurance, right? You lost your old one, so…” He’ll, Peter didn’t lose it—it was taken from him, but Tony doesn’t want to say that aloud. “Uh, here.” He waves it again, a gentle movement, handing it off—but the kid inhales quick, a flinch, curling his arms around his knees. “Sorry. Just, uh, all yours, if you want it.”

Peter’s eyes lock down to it, and then he seems to go away for a moment, looking off at Cassie, past her somewhere, lost. His arms tighten around his knees—hands gripping each opposite wrist tight. He ducks his head sideways, pressing his cheek into his knee. And Peter shrugs, just barely, and his eyes drift past Tony to the door.

The kid’s eyes—they used to light up in the lab, glint at a terrible joke, alight at the sight of a new Spiderman suit. Now, Peter’s eyes are dark—the pupils murky, brow taut with stress, his grim mouth in a slumped line. That look. Glaring up through his brow at the door across the room, just watching it. Watching it and watching it and watching it. Like a dog who knows it’s about to be shot. Like a lamb peering up at the axe. Like a bloodied deer baring its neck for the knife—the final blow.

Like he knows exactly what’s going to happen.

SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 22 — 11:49 AM

Just before lunch, Pepper comes to him with her tablet propped up against her hip. She’s moving slower now, and it takes some extra effort for her to sit—she’s dressed in light jeans, a maternity shirt and loose purple blazer; her hair is tied messily up.

Tony’s in one of the medical exam rooms; a nurse is checking up on his pacemaker, and Pepper waves him away as soon as she enters. The young nurse snaps off his gloves, tosses them into the trashcan, and exits past her.

“Sarah came by my office,” Pepper says, hand braced against her pregnant belly. She moves towards him, and she sits in the waiting room chair as Tony attempts the buttons of his shirt; he still struggles with the twitching in his hands. “Said we have to encourage him to go outside.”

“He doesn’t want to,” Tony tells her, tired, moving from the lowest button to the next one. “You think I haven’t asked?”

He has asked him. Tony’s practically begged the kid to leave the hospital room . But every trip outside the hospital room was like a trip to space for Peter.

Tony struggles with another button, and Pepper lets out a soft sigh. She stands up, closes the few feet between them, and grabs the edges of his shirt, finding the buttons with her hands. Getting the second button and then the third, she says, “Tony…”

They used to do this in the morning: Pepper buttoning his shirt, Tony zipping up her skirt, Pepper adjusting his tie, Tony shifting the clasp in her hair until it stood perfectly straight. “Pep,” he says, gentle, not wanting her to go anywhere.

“Honey,” says Pepper, and his heart aches when she calls him that, and she’s frowning, her strawberry-blonde hair shining in the fluorescent light, “you don’t want the first time he walks outside—for him to see them there. He’ll never wanna go outside again.”

Tony thinks, then, of his first glimpse of the outside—how warm the sun felt on his face, how every step felt strange, like staggering on land after getting off a trampoline. “He won’t go,” he says.

“Not outside outside,” she says. “I just thought… Maybe the roof.” She taps open the tablet: a video clip of the roof. He hasn’t been up to the Tower roof in ages: not since they moved upstate, maybe. The clip shows a garden atop the Tower roof: complete with flowers, young trees, and grassy sod. “Thought it might be nice,” she adds. “Something nice, you know? Something harmless. Safe. He’s been up there before.”

“Yeah, he has,” Tony says, surprised. They used to test some of their lab work up there; Peter always wanted to swing him from the top, and Tony never let him. “You did this for him?”

God, he wants to touch her hand.

Pepper shrugs, a small movement, one-shouldered. Her hair shifts over her back. “I’m no Sarah,” she says, “but I do what I can. Baby steps, right?”

Tony’s been outside a couple times since they broke him out. To Pepper’s doctor’s appointments. A couple Avengers meetings. Some legal sh*t that Tony barely remembers. “Baby steps,” he echoes.

After that, it is not long before they convince Cassie’s parents and the kids’ therapists of the idea; even Dr. Cho agrees to it.

So here they are, standing in the hallway, and Peter’s standing there clutching that wheeled metal pole in one hand, the other casted from the time he broke it, and he’s trembling something awful. Beside him, Cassie glances terrified from one adult to the other, gripping Peter’s hand tightly.

“There’s nothing out there,” Tony says, trying to help the kid understand. “I promise, buddy, there’s nothing out there.”

Cassie’s in her pajamas—some Jim Paxton brought from their house. They’re kid pajamas, warm and blue and spotted in cartoon belugas, and with her other hand she’s holding that stuffed zebra by the hoof. Peter’s a little more ragged, his soft red sweatshirt hanging open to bare his white medical gown, black flannel pants beneath it. Black socks, too. His hood has fallen back, leaving his long hair open to the air.

Peter looks different with the long hair; it makes him look more grown up. The kid used to fix his hair all the time—try to pin it down with gel, brush it back, tug on it awkwardly when Tony made a comment about his curls. It’s long enough now that the curls are gone; enough weight to each strand that it dragged out long, snaking over his shoulders, dark oily tendrils of her. He’s enhanced, so Tony knows his hair grows faster than others, but it makes it seem like… God, he looks different. Like he was gone for five years instead of five months.

Sometimes, Tony feels like that, too.

It takes an hour for them to get the kids to the elevator; another half hour to convince the kids to get inside.

When the doors closed, Peter starts to glance like something’s there, like there are creatures crawling out of the walls, so Tony has to say, “ It’s just the elevator, Pete, you remember the elevator, right?”

And the kid’s breathing hard through his nose, in and out, sliding down to the floor—which is freaking Cassie out, too, so he grabs her and holds her to his chest like a baby; she puts her arms around his neck—surprisingly gentle—hides her face in his neck, all the while Peter glances around the room, clutching her back, his skinny arms looped around her back, holding her impossibly close.

The elevator doors open, sliding open with a ping and FRIDAY announces, “ Tower Roof.”

FRIDAY’s voice alone seems to wake the kid out of his stupor, and the parents watch as Peter struggles to his feet and shuffles out of the elevator.

Peter in his flannel pants, tentatively stepping forward, holding Cassie like a little kid, the girl still hiding her head in his neck like she doesn’t want to look. Jim Paxton looks pissed, but his wife presses her hand to his arm, and that seems to calm him a little bit.

“It’s safe?” asks Peter, very quietly.

He’s looking at Tony—only at Tony. “Yeah, bud,” he says. “It’s safe.”

The kid squints at the sky—something in his brow relaxes, and he limps forward a little more.

Pepper has set the roof up nicely: flowers and plants and rows of green-sprouted sod. Little trees, too, only half-planted, ribbed black tubing propping them up straight. There’s a bench at the very end, one of those painted wooden swings like on a front porch.

A garden.

Pepper put a garden up here for them.

He’d expect little Cassie to scream and run to it, like kids usually do. But that little girl just stays by Peter's side, her hair a dark fuzz over her head, gripping his hand, and looks up at him like he’s her parent, like he’s the only one in the world who can tell her if it’s safe or not.

And he doesn’t tell her it’s safe.

(Because that little girl must know—if Peter Parker is frightened, he has good reason to be.)

Instead, Peter just grips the girl's hand and they move slowly through the roof, Peter limping and Cassie keeping pace with him, the kid glancing back every few seconds at the people behind him.

Tony hates that they had to do that

He forgets sometimes how protective Peter is of Cassie—his body, Cassie’s shield. His body, the only thing between Cassie and those thugs. Which only serves to remind Tony how he had to be protective of her. Who knows what Charlie would have done to Cassie without Peter’s intervention? Cassie might’ve looked just like him: covered in scars, limping everywhere, frail from malnutrition, traumatized beyond belief.

But eventually Peter walks her through, taking slow movements, making sure they can see the other people on the roof at all times. There’s only a couple of them up here—Tony and Pepper, Cassie's parents, the psychiatrists, too: Sarah Wilson with her notebook and the pink-scrubbed one with her satchel. The edge of the roof is a little low, about chest height; for a second Tony has this horrible feeling the kid’s gonna jump, the way he just limps to the edge and grabs the railing, but he only glances over the wall for a moment before turning around. There's a bench at the very end, one of those painted wooden swings like on a front porch.

The kids keep walking around, remarkably quiet. Beneath the leafy archway, Peter lets Cassie lean down and smell the flowers—Tony can see Peter’s nose twitch, just a little. He’s smelling.

He’s blinking back tears.

“Forgot,” the kid says very quietly.

“Forgot what, Pete?”

He blinks again; another twitch of his nose. “The smell,” the kid whispers. “It’s nice.”

Because in five months, Peter Parker had only been outside twice—once during that first escape, when the doctor was murdered in front of him, and once during the final escape, when he was fully unconscious. So truly, Peter hadn’t sensed the outdoors, lucid and outside, since April sixth. Almost six months.

In the corner of the roof, a small row of apple trees, small, barely bigger than Peter himself, sparse and hanging with the weight of the apples they bore—two red ones, a couple yellows, and a green one at the end.

And Peter just stops and stares at it.

God, why hadn’t they thought of this before? Handing Peter ready-made food like those people had, not letting him see where the food comes from. Peter sees the apples on that tree, and it’s like muscle memory takes ahold of him. He touches one, and then the next, and then grasps it with one hand and pulls; the branch strains and snaps, and he hands it to Cassie. Then he plucks another one, taking it for himself.

Pepper grabs Dr. Cho’s arm. “Is this…”

“He’s fine,” she says. “He’s due for a snack anyway.”

The kids sit down on the grass together, eating quickly, and ragged greedy bites; they eat the apples whole, seeds and stems and all.

Tony forgot it was even apple-picking season.

He’d spent so much time in there… God, he hasn't had a fresh bite of fruit since April. Not since Peter. Tony blinks at the tree. When’s the last time he…

A nudge on his arm. “It’s your roof, too,” Pepper says gently. “I know you like the yellow ones.”

Cassie and the kid are muttering together to each other now. Tony steps forward and grabs a yellow one.

They sit on the ground a little —Peter keeps glancing at them, and slowly the people whittle down to just Tony and Maggie Paxton, which puts the kids more at ease. They play quietly in the garden, Cassie plucking the flowers out of their freshly-planted dirt and handing them to Peter. As Tony gets closer, he can hear what they’re saying . “…cornbread,” Peter says.

“Pancakes,” says Cassie.

Peter makes a small humming noise, and his hair shifts over his sweatshirt. It’s so long—his dark hair trailing past his shoulders, moving as he moves, staring miserably down at his lap.

The little girl pokes him. “Your turn, Peter,” she whispers. “Your turn.”

The kid barely moves; the shoulders of his red hoodie hang low on him. “French toast,” he says dully, still looking at his lap..

“French toast!” says Cassie with an excited sigh. “With powdered sugar.” She looks expectantly at Peter, and when he doesn’t answer, she hugs his arm from the side and presses her face into it. “Powdered sugar and…”

“Syrup,” the teen mutters, with a small squint at the dark-haired girl.

The little girl smiles into his arm, enamored by his response. “I wanna drink it,” she says, and she does the motion with her good hand. “The whole bottle!”

It’s almost imperceptible, but there it is: a change in Peter’s expression, a minute flash of amusem*nt: the edges of his mouth peaking, lip pressing down. “Bad for your teeth,” the kid says, and Cassie bares hers at him: her little-kid mouth filled with gaps.

Not a smile, Tony thinks, but it’s something.

They spend nearly an hour on this roof, letting the kids sit in tentative peace.

Near the end, Tony’s sitting on that porch swing alone, watching Peter watch Cassie. By the roof entrance, Pepper is on the phone, one hand clasped over her opposite ear, talking urgently. Maggie Paxton stands nearby, leaned against the wall.

The kid spies Tony from the corner and shuffles over to him slow, limping heavily on his left leg. That nasogastric tube cuts across his face, tugs a little, and he sniffs. He still looks remarkably thin, albeit a little better, his face no longer that sallow yellowish color, yet still bony like the fat had been sucked from his cheeks. The kid sits down beside him, and with this very Peter-like sigh, tips his head into Tony’s shoulder; Tony doesn’t dare move.

And for a while, neither of them say anything at all.

They sit here, the air misty with New York air, the sky peeking blue between the clouds, and Peter doesn’t look up—just breathes softly into Tony’s sleeve, a breath. It shakes Tony sometimes, this realization: that Peter is here with him. Breathing. Alive. Warm. What a remarkable thing.

A few minutes pass, and out of the corner of Tony’s eye he seems something dark move over the painted bench; he turns a little and sees it.

A spider.

It crawls up the leg of the bench and up towards Peter, so Tony says, soft, “Careful.”

The kid watches it crawl up and up, across the arm towards Peter, and he raises one hand; Peter presses his finger to the wooden arm. The spider pauses, shifts, and then walks across the wood, up Peter’s fingernail, and crawls up the back of his hand. Peter turns his wrist as the spider moves, letting it crawl and crawl and crawl.

The kid can’t take his eyes off it.

It’s a small spider, with skinny brown legs and a tiny body with dark markings. Delicate as it moves—and easily squashed, but Peter doesn’t make a move to harm it. He just keeps watching it go. Ever so often the spider will pause, confused, and turn back the way it came.

“She doesn’t know,” the kid says after a while, letting the spider crawl up towards his elbow before leading it to his other hand.

Assuming by she he means the spider, Tony asks, “Doesn't know what?”

Peter turns his hand over slowly, spreading his pale fingers, letting the spider cross over old white scars and newish pink ones. “That she’s in danger,” he mumbles, mesmerized, watching the creature settle on his finger, turn around, and head back up his pale knuckle.

Eventually, Peter lets the spider go: he tips his hand to the bench, and the spider crawls across the painted wood, crawls down the side, and disappears somewhere into the grass. Tony tries not to think about what the kid just said, so he tries to make conversation, but mostly the kid just stays quiet, staring at the ground where the spider once was.

And eventually, when it’s quiet, Peter tilts his head slightly towards Tony and asks, “Did you know where they took me?”

Charlie never told him where. He hinted at it—something about forest and mountains, which could’ve meant anywhere on the planet. “YOU’LL NEVER FIND HIM, STARK!” he’d scream. “YOU’LL NEVER SEE YOUR f*ckING SPIDER-BITCH AGAIN!”

“No,” Tony says, swallowing hard at the memory. “Sorry, Pete.”

“It was the forest,” he said. “I was in a… A forest.”

“Yeah,” says Tony. “New Hampshire. Mountains. Middle of nowhere.”

Peter mumbles the words back at him, a half-echo. Middle of nowhere. “He said…” Peter swallows, like the words themselves hurt. His neck bows a bit, and he fiddles with his hands in his lap. “He said I'd never—that it was too far. From anything. Said… Said…” His brow draws tight, like a visceral pain. “Said I’d never get out.” He squints up at Tony. “Is it… Was it…”

This is the longest Tony thinks he’s heard the kid speak since he got here.

“Yeah,” he says, feeling the weight of his answer heavy on them both. “Middle of nowhere, buddy.” It’s almost good he didn’t make it out, Tony thinks. Peter might’ve died out in that wilderness if he had.

Peter makes a small noise in response, like a hum, a tired sound he’s made to Cassie, but Tony knows how it translates: oh.

Tony thinks of what he’d nearly screamed before when he’d mentioned May— Charlie doesn’t lie, Charlie doesn’t lie.

Well, the kid was right. Charlie hadn’t lied about this, either.

And eventually Peter says, “Think I’m still there,” he says, quiet, staring down at his hands. “Middle of nowhere.”

Tony doesn’t know what to say to that, and he thinks anything he comes up with might just make it worse, so instead he grasps the chain of the porch swing, pushes at the ground a little with his heels, and moves the swing beneath them both, letting it rock.

Peter squints at him again, and then stares down at the grass.

Tony keeps rocking it—a slight movement, shifting his feet in the fresh sod, a familiar squeak, back and forth.

Peter’s shoulders slump a little further, and then he tips his head into Tony’s shoulder. God, Tony never wants to tell him—he wants to stay here now, with the kid’s warm head resting on Tony’s shoulder, pressing in, those strained exhales escaping him—a little more relaxed each time, a little longer, a little gentler until Peter’s closing his eyes a little like he’s falling asleep.

Even with his eyes closed, Peter Parker looks tired.

He looks so, so tired.

It’s not long before something scares the kid—a noise, maybe just a thought, and the kid jerks away, pulling his arms around himself. It’s clear then that this whole ordeal is becoming increasingly overwhelming for Peter—his hands squeezing into fists in his lap, eyes darting around.

“You want to go back inside?” Tony asks.

Peter nods.

Both of them stand up from the swinging bench. He calls for Cassie then, who immediately hops away from her mother and hurries to him. Peter grabs the little girl’s hand, and they follow Maggie Paxton the rooftop door.

But for a second, Tony glances back at the rooftop garden, at the spread of flowers and trees, at the clouding sky.

The bench is still swaying.

SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 22 — 1:01 PM

Both kids are a little agitated after the rooftop—but something in Peter seems a little calmer. Grounded. A nurse brings them both lunch in metal cans, and the kids eat together on the bed. Peter falls asleep sometime after that, curled up on his side beneath the covers.

But the universe can’t seem to cut Peter Parker a break, because as soon as Tony gets back Sarah Wilson is standing in front of his doorway with her arms folded. “Conference room,” she says, “now.”

Of course.

He follows her into the conference room at the end of the hall, and Sarah shuts the door behind them, turning around to face him. “Damn it, Tony,” she says, “you didn’t tell him.”

“I did,” he tries, a pointless lie.

Sarah shakes her head. “It was too perfect—minimal emotional outbursts, no breakdowns, no regression… I thought maybe he’d compartmentalized it, that maybe he knew it was going to happen, but it wasn’t minimal, was it?”

sh*t.

“It wasn’t a response at all. Because you didn’t tell him.

Tony swallows.

“The hearing’s tomorrow ,” Sarah says. “I thought you said you’d told him yesterday—”

“I was going to,” Tony insists, “but he got upset—he was crying , Sarah, he was with May and he was, I mean, he was talking a little…”

“But at night, Tony, you could’ve told him last night!”

“He panicked, Sarah, he was freaking out about the door—and outside, and he’s always worse at night, you know that—come on, how was I supposed to—”

Tony ,” she says, exasperated. “This hearing—he needs time to process, to understand that he’s about to see them. We can’t just throw these things at him—he’s too fragile right now. And Tony, I told you days ago we had waited too long. And you said you’d tell him!”

“I won’t do it!” Tony snaps. “I won’t! I’m not gonna—gonna tear down everything we’ve built for some f*cking court case! Look at him!” He points an angry finger in the vague direction of Peter’s hospital room. “It’ll destroy him! He’ll go back to—to whatever the hell was happening before—with the teddy bear, and the—the cuffs—”

“Do you think I want to do this?” says Sarah, taking a couple steps toward him. “I know how much this will set us back. I know how badly he’ll react. But we don’t have a choice. And waiting is only going to make it worse.” She paces past the conference table, rubbing an exasperated hand down her face. “God, Tony, now he’s got less than twenty-four hours before he’ll be standing at that podium, and he doesn’t even know he has to speak, let alone face his kidnappers in court.”

Tony swallows, unbearably quiet.

Sarah snaps, “He could’ve had four days to get used to this. He could’ve had three. He could’ve had two. You took that away from him. You’ve—I mean, you’ve essentially—you’ve crippled him, Tony! You have to tell him. Now.”

“But he—he’s doing so well, Sarah. He even spoke to me today, like really spoke. And I know once I tell him, he’ll...” Tony shoves his head in his hands. “You know what’ll happen. All the progress we made…”

“Tony,” she says, “whether you like it or not, Peter will have to leave here tomorrow.”

“I know,” he croaks out.

“You have to tell him.”

“I can’t ,” he says, and he feels a bit like he’s in that lab again. Trapped. His arm twitches then, and he has to grasp it with his other hand to make it stop shaking. “Sarah, I—I tried, I just—God, I haven’t heard him talk like that in months, Sarah. Months. I only ever saw him…” Tony trails off, and he tries again not to think about it. “He’s doing so good, Sarah, he’s—he’s coming back, you know? He’s… He’s becoming himself again. How am I supposed to… To just…”

Sarah is closer now, and she puts her hand on his shoulder. Her hand is warm. “Murdock can help you with the wording, if you need,” she says. “And I can be there, too, but you have to tell him as soon as possible, Tony. He needs to know what’s going to happen tomorrow.”

Tony knows that. He does.

But how is he supposed to say that out loud?

Notes:

like tony, i keep prolonging the inevitable. lol i think i'm just rly loving writing these soft scenes and i dont wanna hurt my bbys just yet

ive keep rewriting the peter-learns-about-the-hearing scene, any ideas about how it'll go? it's way up in the air rn lol

omg next chap will be chap no. 50, that's kinda insane

hope u all r having a great summer, again if u asked me for a scene/trope i'll always take it into account, lmk again if u think i forgot lol, love u guys a ton, stay safe out there

Chapter 50: four-minute warning

Summary:

tony and peter try their best as the hearing approaches. + a little glimpse of harley.

Notes:

sorry guys here's a chap

chap title from 'four-minute warning' by radiohead

cw: minor sexual assault (peter @ someone), mentions of violence, etc

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 22 — 3:24 PM

Matt Murdock’s office is on the fifty-third floor of Avengers Tower. Murdock and his partner Foggy Nelson have taken up space in what used to be a business litigation space and is now reserved solely for Peter’s legal team. It’s a messy office, full of Braille-stamped papers and piles of files.

When Tony enters the office, dark-haired Murdock is pacing back and forth in a wrinkled suit as Foggy Nelson types away at the computer. “Tony,” says Matt Murdock, mild surprise coming over his face. “Is something wrong?”

How the hell does Murdock even know it’s him?

Tony shakes off his confusion. “I need you to do me a favor,” he says. Murdock stops his pacing then, tilting slightly, and tips his head.

Tony does his best to explain the situation: the hearing, Peter’s possible response, and all Murdock does is sigh and press his hand against the wall. “You didn’t tell him,” he echoes. “Stark, the hearing’s in, what, twenty-two hours now?”

“Don’t you think I know that?” Tony says. “I just—I can’t do it, I really can’t.”

He feels like he’s begging for his life; he feels like he’s got one hand pressed to a television screen; he reaches his hand into his pocket like he used to—for the sleep supplement, for those familiar white round pills—and finds his pocket empty.

Right. No more supplements.

“I’ve never even met the kid,” Murdock says. The man looks weary—bags lining his eyes. “I don’t know how I’m supposed to…”

“It’ll be fine,” Tony says quickly, because he needs it to be.

Strangely enough, for all of the meetings Murdock has had with Tony Stark and Pepper Potts about the Stark Seven case, he has never actually met Peter before. The whole case practically revolves around this kid, and Murdock’s only ever seen him in pictures.

But Murdock is a kind man, so he agrees, shirking on his suit jacket as he does. He follows Tony into the elevator, blond-haired Nelson following behind, and once inside, Tony adds, “There’s some things you might want to…”

Know? Beware? Avoid?

“…keep in mind,” Tony finishes, and the lawyer nods. “He’s not exactly…”

“I know,” the man says gently, hands in his pockets. “I… I know.”

Tony nods. “Still, uh, no sudden movements,” Tony says as they walk to the kids room. “Uh, don’t touch him or get too close—don’t mention Cassie or any of the captors by name. Don’t imply that he’s being forced to do something, don’t, uh…” He blinks. “Maybe don’t move your hands a whole lot.”

Murdock nods; he seems a bit nervous, his brow pinched, his jaw clenched. “Makes sense.”

Tony nods. “And sometimes he'll, he’ll kind of echo things that you say, but it doesn’t always mean anything. Just his way of processing… Uh….” He’s about to warn the lawyer about the sight of him, remembers Murdock is blind, and then shuts up. “Try to talk softer, maybe. Don’t say his last name…” He hadn’t realized there was so much to warn people about. “Just… he scares easy, and he doesn’t always respond when people talk, so don’t expect a lot from him. If it gets bad, we’ll just pull back, okay?”

The elevator pings open then, and FRIDAY announces:

Murdock nods again.

“He doesn’t do well…with new people, especially men, so… If this doesn’t work…” Tony swallows. “Just, slow as you can, you understand me? Follow my lead.”

“I’ve got it, Tony,” Murdock says.

They’ve reached the kids’ Medbay room now, and he knocks three times to alert Peter. Tony enters the room first, and the teenager freezes up like he always does, his whole body taut, fingers clenching in whatever he’s holding—a half-made Lego set, looks like. Spaceship.

And then he spots Murdock.

Peter stops breathing, chest halted, eyes trained on the newcomer. “Peter,” Tony says, “this is Matt Murdock. He’s our lawyer—for the case, remember?”

They’ve spoken about the case a couple times before with Peter, mostly in passing, just trying to get him used to the idea, but the idea never seems to stick with Peter. He has such trouble retaining information these days; another common side effect of trauma, Sarah told them both. The mind retains what it needs to survive—conversations weren’t part of his skill set when he was in there.

Peter presses his mouth closed, scanning the man. He’s still rigid, so tense that Tony can see it in his face. He really doesn’t like new people. The kid seems almost frozen as he stares—wholly hypnotized by the man, like he’s waiting for the man to come up to him and grab him by the wrist and thrash him.

He’s frightened.

The kid’s frightened.

Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea.

“He’s just here to talk about the case,” Tony says, dropping his voice a little gentler. He sits at his usual spot beside Peter’s bed, and the kid draws away from him as if on instinct, still grasping the Lego set. “Is that okay?”

More quiet. Peter glances over at Cassie; only seconds ago, the little girl was playing on the floor with her mother, and now she’s staring wide-eyed at the man, her small hands grasping tight at her mother’s arm.

Right. Neither of them are big on visitors.

Tony swallows. “You remember what we talked about, don’t you? How they arrested the… the bad guys…” He thinks of their names then, names he’s heard Peter howl for mercy. Mason and Daria, Glenn and Renee, Charlie and Frank and Ava and all the others, names and names and names… Most of them dead now.

(He’s heard little Cassie talk about Ava sometimes. He remembers her from the beginning. A bone-thin woman with crazed hair, always twitchy and glancing around. An addict like the rest of them with a soft spot for Peter—but still, she kept them there. Still, she played along with Charlie’s plan. To Tony—she was as evil as the rest of them.)

Peter stares at Matt Murdock for an extraordinarily long time; there, the reflection of the kid’s scarred face in the lawyer’s dark glasses. Pete’s hands go tight on the Lego set—a piece splits off as his fingers tighten, falling onto the bedspread. “Pete? Is that alright if he talks to you for a while? About…”

Peter’s uneasy gaze lands on Tony. “About before,” he says, eerily quiet, a wisp of phrase.

“Yes,” Tony, glad he’s grasping onto something. “That’s right, kiddo.”

“I’m Matt Murdock,” says the man, and he doesn’t stick his hand out to shake—instead clasping his hands together in his lap as though to disarm himself before Peter. “You can call me Matt, if you’d like.”

Peter jerks his head—a quick, anxious nod—but he doesn’t respond, not a sound.

God, Tony hates that he does this now—agreeing to things without a second to think, like a knee-jerk reaction. He remembers Peter doing the same for Keene after the first few weeks—repeating whatever the man told him to repeat, begging whenever the man told him to beg, screaming if the man told him to scream, shutting up as soon as the man looked at him.

Charlie Keene taught Peter that he was never in control. How the hell is Tony supposed to teach him otherwise?

Tony clears his throat; his chest aches a bit where the arc reactor has been placed, and he rubs at it with his knuckles in an attempt to relieve it. “He’s your lawyer, Pete. That’s all.”

Murdock talks for a while then, taking care to speak slowly and deliberately so that Peter can follow, but the kid doesn’t say a word the whole time. “...but you won’t have to say much,” says Murdock. “Your name, yes or no, that kind of thing. Make sense?”

The kid’s eyes haven’t left the lawyer since he started talking; he nods automatically, blinking slow.

“...Tony and I have talked about dropping the charges, but, well, once you do, you can’t re-press those charges, and we want these guys in prison for a long time, especially…” The lawyer trails off; Tony knows he’s about to say that fateful name— Beck— but thankfully he stops himself. “Nevermind. There’s a couple other things we need to go over—you will need to go to the stand, but they’ve allowed us some protocols for mental illness in the courtroom—extra breaks, uh, comfort items, things of that nature, and if that…”

He goes on, and Peter just blinks dully at the man, still white-knuckling the Lego set. Sometimes, Tony forgets that the only people who spoke to Peter in that bunker—for a period of nearly five months—were a seven-year-old girl and a pack of violence-inclined drug addicts. Maybe he’s forgotten how to do this, how to hold a conversation. Maybe that’s just something else that Charlie Keene took from him.

Murdock continues to talk, and Peter keeps staring, this horribly slack stare.

“I know this is difficult,” the man continues, “but Cassie won’t have to go, alright? Just you.”

Tony sits up. That’s one of the rules he told Murdock before he entered—don’t mention Cassie. Damn it, Murdock.

A vein in Peter’s forehead pulses; he’s thinking, he must be, because his eyes drift to some hollow spot in the wall and stay there as though lost in some memory.

“Now,” says Murdock, “we’re just gonna go over what you’re going to say on the stand, okay?”

He thinks Peter's stopped listening. He seems absent—in one of those weird, fugue spaces; Tony can tell just from the way the kid’s moving , swaying a little back and forth. “Okay,” Peter says, in this weird airy voice, and Tony recognizes it, the echolalia again.

Peter’s not agreeing with Murdock. He’s repeating what he’s said.

Tony realizes too late what’s happening. “Matt…” he warns, with a quick glance towards the lawyer.

Peter leans forward then to where Matt Murdock is sitting and the man looks at Peter very strangely. Peter shifts towards him with an outstretched hand, his fingers trembling, and he moves his hand quicker than either of them expected, stroking it up Murdock’s leg, and the lawyer stands up fast, his chair scraping backwards over the tile, tripping over himself in his attempt to back up. “Sorry,” he says, in this strange voice. “Jesus, Peter, I'm so sorry—I didn't mean to— God .”

The horrible thing about it is that before this, Tony never even saw the kid hold hands with anyone, not even that girl MJ that he liked. He's not sure Peter ever had.

(The thought comes quick, like a punch in the gut—did Peter lose his virginity in there? Is this the only way he’s ever had sex? Was locked away with some monster of a person? Trapped in a tiny concrete room, beaten bloody, in front of a little girl?)

And now he’s groping people in front of Tony like it’s nothing , like it’s normal, like it’s a f*cking everyday occurrence.

“I’ll make it good,” Peter murmurs, in this strange f*cking voice. His eyes flick dully to Tony, and the recognition there has faded. To Peter, now, there are just two men in the room—dangers. Threats. People he had to submit to. “I’m really good…” He squeezes one hand into a fist; the other, he draws out towards Murdock, who’s still backing away from him.

How could anyone have done this to him? How could anyone have looked at this kid, this beautiful boy—bloodied and broken, haunted and a beaten mess, frightened out of his mind—and thought of him like that? How could someone have seen any person like this—and thought of them as some kind of sexual being?

Tony supposes that’s how it is—Beck didn’t see Peter as a person. Just as something he paid for.

“Peter,” Tony says, with certain horror. “ Peter.

The kid’s truly not listening. He’s just looking at Murdock, whose expression is growing more ill by the second, standing far from the door. “Out, Murdock,” Tony says, and the man quickly backs out of the room without a word of protest. This seems to rattle Peter, as he jerks his head around like he’s looking for someone.

“Pete, look at the door.” Tony doesn’t know how he knows this but he does—when the door is open, Peter was more apt to try to please someone. It must’ve been how it was in the bunker—Beck visiting him with the door cracked open. “It’s closed, buddy. The door’s closed.”

The kid’s not saying anything, like he didn’t just try to grope his lawyer, and he glances down at his chest and it’s like he’s not even seeing.

“Peter,” he tries again, and that time Peter looks at him, some kind of muted panic in him, like he’s forcing his body still. Like he has no choice. “Please, please, just look at the door for me. You’re not there anymore, buddy, you’re here.” Tony taps the bed for emphasis, and that only makes Peter stiffen like a board—as though expecting Tony to grasp him by the ankle and squeeze.

Tony pulls back, drawing his hand back into his lap.

This is just how Peter acts now—all too often. It’s how he acts when the nurse bathes him, or when they offer him gifts, or when the food doesn’t come the way it’s supposed to—it’s all the same, the way he’s acting now—Peter Parker gone away, the person who survived Charlie Keene left behind.

God, what a mistake Tony has made.

Bringing someone new into Peter’s space? A man? Having him say things like that? All because Tony was too cowardly to do it himself.

Tony looks at the wall, at a photo Pepper taped up—it’s a good one of, of Peter smiling with his arms strung around his best friends. There's another one beside it, scotch-taped to the wall: of him and Peter holding the kid’s official Stark internship award, Peter grinning and holding up two fingers behind Tony’s head, Tony himself returning the favor. Tony's arm around the kid's shoulders. Peter smiling wide.

He hasn’t seen Peter smile like that in almost six months.

Charlie Keene took that away, along with everything else. Peter's joy, his memory, his sense of humor. A third of his weight, the tip of his little finger. His ability to walk. His phone addiction, his love of eating, his want to see his friends. His trust in people. His nonstop talking. His ability to recognize people. His f*cking free will. His self-esteem. Any sliver of safety he’s ever known.

This isn’t the Peter he used to know, and Tony keeps forgetting. This isn’t a kid who will just smile and say, Thanks for telling me, Mr. Stark!

Keene broke him, Tony thinks. Turned Peter Parker into something animal, made him afraid of opening doors and regular meals and nearly anyone who comes too close.

Of course the kid wouldn’t listen to Murdock. He barely listened to anyone these days save Tony himself.

Way to go, Tony, he thinks.

Sarah was right. Tony is the only one who Peter will listen to. He can’t pass this job off to Matt Murdock or Sarah Wilson or anyone else. He has to be the one to tell him.

He has to tell Peter.

SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 22 — 3:50 PM

Tony spends a few moments in the bathroom gathering himself, another few moments hoping Peter has calmed, and then he turns to Peter’s room with a few careful knocks.

He puts down a chair beside Peter and he says, “Hey, Pete?”

The kid is laying on his side on the bed beneath the covers, not doing much. He does this far too much—staring off into nothing, like he’s absent from his body. It takes a couple more calls of Peter’s name for him to look at Tony, slow-blinking, still burrowed in the blankets. He’s dressed in a sweatshirt—a bright green one of Ned’s, he thinks—zipped all the way up, as well as a pair of dark flannel pants.

“I’ve got to talk to you about something,” he prods, and the kid peeks up from his nest of blankets.

Tony takes a shaky breath, and he presses his hand to his forehead. And then he explains slowly and carefully what will happen tomorrow: the people who will be there, the ones who will speak and the ones who won’t. The traveling, the leaving Cassie behind. All of it. Seeing Charlie and Quentin Beck and all of the rest.

Peter stares at him when he’s done.

“Does that make sense?” Tony asks, watching the kid’s face.

The kid’s gaze drifts to the closed door, then to the left a bit—to the whiteboard and its times. His nurse has already written down his schedule for tomorrow. Nurse check-in — 7:30. Breakfast — 8:00 — eggs, toast, fruit. 9:00 — nutritionist visit. On and on through to bedtime. Conveniently, though, it’s missing the hearing at two o’clock.

The kid squints a couple times at it, and tucks his head tiredly into the blankets with a sigh. there’s only a bit of him visible then—his scraggly hair amongst the blankets, his scarred hands clasping the blanket around himself. Then he shifts, baring his face, and Tony sees it: the burn from that very first day, the one that seared his ear into a mess of flesh and cartilage, that mars the side of his cheek.

(Tony remembers it. The hand pinning Peter’s head against the chair’s headrest. The blowtorch hissing loud. The sweat pouring down Peter’s face. The terror frozen there.)

The kid’s face draws grim, and he looks at Tony for a long time. Peter presses his cracked lips together; his nasogastric tube pulls over his cheek. “People know?” he says at last, voice hoarse.

Oh.

Tony hadn’t thought about that. The social nature of it—that Peter’s experience had become something of public spectacle. That Peter wouldn’t want anyone to know. Why hadn’t he thought about that? Tony’s whole life has been a spectacle—the day he was born, he was photographed for the press.

“Well,” Tony says, and he can’t find any way to finish. “They don’t know it was you—you’re still a minor, so the courts are supposed to keep it quiet…”

But Peter… He lived his life in relative anonymity. Even as Spider-man, his identity was masked. He’d grown up a normal kid among normal people. He’d never had any part of his life so visible to the press.

Peter’s neck bobs, a swallow. “Do you know?” he asks, voice dry.

Tony opens his mouth and then closes it. “Peter,” he says, and his voice cracks, “we had to—May was still knocked out, you have to understand, so we were your—your guardians, temporary ones, and anything medical, they did have to tell us…” A prickle of numbness traveling down his left arm, and he clasps at his elbows.

Peter nods again, sharply, but his eyes have taken on an odd glaze.

“Peter,” Tony tries. “Listen to me—they don’t know it’s you. The case is federal—so they won’t even say your name.”

Peter tightens the blanket around himself and doesn’t respond.

Tony tries a couple more times to get him to speak, but he keeps quiet, looking off to the wall like he’s remembering something. That hollow look in his eyes, that eerie quiet. Tony hates it.

At least he’s not screaming or crying or tripping down a set of stairs. But still… Something about this is worse. The quiet. Like he was expecting this to happen.

Tony supposes that Peter’s been waiting for weeks now for the other shoe to drop. And now it finally has. “It won’t be long,” Tony assures him. “Just a couple hours—and then we can come right back here, alright?”

The kid stiffens, and he nods, and Tony leaves it as is.

There is a reaction out of him, though—a minute one. Peter spends the rest of the day extraordinarily tense, refusing to touch his Legos, stopping Cassie from talking or interacting with anyone, either. They spend nearly the entire day like that, hiding away from the world, holding each other, not speaking to anyone. Not even Tony.

Peter won’t let them to the other side of the room with the little girl, let alone out into the hallway. Peter used to allow Cassie to leave the room—temporarily, for the bathroom or a trip to the doctor. But now, they wouldn’t dare try to remove the girl at all. Not with Peter like this.

That must’ve been what they were like in there. too.

Tony thinks about it then, and he can’t help it. Someone pulling the little girl away from Peter’s arms. Cassie screaming and kicking, Peter begging them not to. Peter grabbing her and shoving her beneath the bed. Peter curling himself around the little kid—his body the girl’s shield.

Tony and Sarah bring up the hearing a couple more times before the day is over, and mostly Peter just nods and says nothing.

When Sarah talks to him about it, she says, “I think part of him understands,” she says. “But it’s a lot. I’m not sure what he knows.”

When dinner comes, Peter stares hollowly at it, not diving at the food like he usually does. Cassie pushes at his arm a couple times until finally the kid blinks and starts to eat.

God, when this is over, Tony needs to get them out of this room. This can’t be healthy, right? Letting them live in here like some ghost version of the bunker, with their Happy Meals and cans of breakfast and having breakdowns every time the clock hits seven?

Peter can’t go home, not really—but maybe he can come back to the penthouse. Live upstairs with him and Pepper, move May up there, too, once she’s well enough. Go back to his old room.

When he goes to sleep that night, he closes his eyes and tries to imagine it: Peter playing video games again, Peter quoting movies word for word, Peter sitting at a dinner table and binge-eating lasagna one forkful at a time. Peter in the lab. Peter in his Spider-suit. Peter’s beaming smile.

Can they ever go back to the way it was before?

Is it even possible?

SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 23 — 7:25 AM

After a quick breakfast, Pepper walks up to the residential floor. She goes past several apartments: Bucky and Steve, Helen Cho, Sarah Wilson… Then at last, Harley Keener.

She knocks several times on the door, and after a few, a blond-haired boy pulls open the door. He looks a bit of a mess—hair unbrushed, dressed loosely in pajama pants and a T-shirt. He musses his hand through his hair, failing to fix it, gives her a tired smile, and says, “Hey, Ms. Potts. What’s up?”

(She thinks for a moment that this is something Peter would’ve said six months ago. She hates how much this kid reminds her of that.)

“I just wanted to remind you about the hearing,” she says. “Someone talked to you?”

The blonde boy nods vaguely. “Yeah—Mr, uh, Hogan. Said it was later today, gave me a bunch of stuff to fill out.” He gestures vaguely behind himself, and Pepper can see a stack of papers on the table somewhere behind him.

“You don’t have to go,” Pepper adds. “But if you do, we’ll get someone to take you.”

Harley nods. “I wanna go,” he says. “I, uh… I wanna know what happened.”

Pepper closes her mouth. She grimaces at the table, and then she looks back up at him. “You might not want to,” she says. “The boy your father saved..”

“Peter?”

Pepper blinks at him. “You know his name?”

He shrugs. “It’s on his door.”

Pepper forgot about that. The name on the door. Tony wanted Peter to feel like the room belonged to him; doesn’t matter much, as the kid barely ever leaves it.

“You’ve been to his…” She’d never thought about it, but she supposes he does have access to the Medbay floor in case of emergency. It stands to reason that he’d passed Peter’s room.

Harley winces, scratches at the back of his neck. “Yeah. Couple weeks back. He looks pretty bad.”

“Do you know…” Pepper smooths the back of her hair. “…what happened?”

Another shrug from the teenager. “I pieced it together. Legal guys explained some of it. Happy said some other stuff, and the rest I got off the Internet. Someone took him, right? That Charlie guy?”

Pepper nods.

Harley grimaces again. “They were beating him pretty bad, so they needed a doctor to fix him up so they didn’t accidentally kill him. Right?”

“That’s right,” she says, careful. She’s seen the photos, and she knows some of it, too. The boy looks much like his father—blondish hair and a pleasant smile.

“It’s because of my dad he’s still alive,” Harley says, and this time he looks up at her as though searching for confirmation. “Right?”

“Seems like,” says Pepper, gentle.

Harley nods.

They stand in silence for a moment: Harley in the doorway and Pepper before him, and at last she says, “Happy will have a car for you, we’ll find someone to—”

“I can drive,” he says.

Pepper blinks at him. Another thing she forgets—that Harley and Peter are the same age, or close to it—and Peter never got his license. Barely finished driver’s ed.

Would Peter ever drive again, like this? Could he, with that leg? She’s never even thought about it.

She clears her throat. “Of course. Well, if you’d like to take yourself, ask Happy about the car. He’ll clear up everything for you.”

The kid looks terribly awkward for a moment, and then he nods. “Cool. Great. Thanks.” Another hesitant nod, and Harley Keener shoves his hands in his pockets.

“Don’t crash it,” she jokes.

The kid lets out a dry laugh. “Sure thing,” he says.

SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 23 — 12:25 PM

Then it’s morning, Sunday morning, and the hearing is here.

The hearing is at two o’clock.

Dr. Cho and Pepper are in the conference room, arguing about something or another, Murdock and Nelson are already on their way to the courthouse, and Sarah and Tony are in the kids' room.

They got Peter up at seven-thirty, and they’ve been trying to get him out of the building since nine. They knew how long it would take to get him to leave—and it's taking even longer.

And although Peter is confused and frightened and as skittish as a stray cat—he knows somehow, that the Tower is a safe place—and that he doesn’t want to leave it. “Peter?” whimpers Cassie, and the girl sounds like she’s being flayed.

And Peter just backs them both up against the wall, Cassie hiding behind his leg—God, Steve remembers that they were just like that in the bunker. It was like nothing had changed—Peter using his frail body to protect her. And at some point the kid just stops arguing with them—he just stands there with Cassie behind him, trembling horrifically with the strength of his fear.

Looking at everyone like they’re a threat. Like they’re holding a gun to his head.

“You said—” Peter manages, and he glances quickly between Tony and Steve and he’s just getting worse by the second, it’s like Tony’s watching the kid’s mind deteriorate in front of his eyes, his motions getting jerkier, something like betrayal obvious in his face, “You said—I didn’t—that they wouldn’t—”

“Buddy, we talked about this,” Tony says, holding his hand up, trying to calm him, and sadness pulls at him. “It’s just for a couple hours, and then you can come right back.”

There’s too many people in this room. Steve Rogers and the nurse, Sarah Wilson and Tony, and it’s so obvious that Peter’s feeling cornered but they have to leave. Peter twists his head violently towards the door. “Oh, god.” he whispers, “oh, god… Please—please, no—”

“Buddy,” he says, taking a careful step towards the kid, and Peter draws in breath fast, jerking hard and into Cassie, shoving her backwards. “You’re not going back.”

Peter is shaking his head. They’re all the way against the wall now, and Cassie is hyperventilating, drawing in childlike gaspy breaths of air. “I ran—when you—when you run—“

Tony can see where this is going, that mantra of his, and he says, carefully, “No one’s gonna punish you, Pete. They’re not gonna touch you. They’re still locked up.”

“He’s—he’s—he’s coming—“

“He’s not coming here,” he says. “He will never, ever step foot in this building, Peter. You hear me? It’s a court hearing. A court hearing. You remember those, right? Judge Judy. they’re not gonna touch you. no one’s gonna touch you.”

“They’re gonna—he always, always, always—“ He cuts himself off, forcing his hand over his mouth, tears coming messy and quiet over his face.

Tony says, “Peter, Pete, buddy look at me.” Peter doesn’t even manage that. “They’re not gonna touch you. We’re gonna be there. We’re all gonna be there to protect you. Steve—-and, and Rhodey and Falcon, too—remember Falcon?”

“I don’t want to—“ he shouts, and he cuts himself off.

“Peter,” says Tony carefully, “it’s just for a couple hours.”

The kid bares his teeth at him, and then at the other people in the room—the only bit of aggression he has, the only way of making himself frightening—is to look unhinged, like a cornered animal—and Peter’s eyes are inhumanely wide, his pupils dark and huge, blinking fast, and he keeps backing up against the wall without anywhere to go. Tony can tell he’s putting a sh*t-ton of weight on that knee—he can tell in the way Peter’s entire body tightens every time he moves, a well-hidden sign of pain.

His eyes dart fast to the side—the nurse’s cart, where there’s a couple syringes, some tubing, medical tape, a box of rubber gloves.

The nurse’s eyes go wide. “Don’t—”

He dives for it, grabbing on for a syringe just as the nurse grabs for the cart, and the woman jumps back as soon as Peter gets a handle on it.

Peter moves like he’s done it before, reverse-gripping the syringe in his fist, elbow out, the needle pointed toward the rest of the room; Peter keeps regripping it and regripping it, blinking like he’s trying to wake himself up, chest heaving. “I’m not leaving without her,” Peter says, his voice going shrill, “ I’m not leaving without her—“

“She’s not going with,” Tony says, “but she’ll be safe here, buddy, I promise, no one’s getting her—just put it down, put it down, Peter—“

Peter jerks his arm, jabbing the syringe towards Tony, who jumps back. “Whoa, buddy, let’s just—let’s just calm down, alright?”

Peter’s breathing hard through his gritted teeth, the trail of pale tubing stretching from his nose all the way taped across his bony cheek. The tape pulls, remarkably staying in place. He’s whispering something to himself, chest heaving, eyes shining bright in the fluorescence overhead, words quick and incoherent, fast mumbling.

This is not going well. This is really, really not going well.

“Peter,” says Sarah carefully, taking a tentative step forward. “I can see that you’re afraid right now. We’ve upset you. Is that right?”

His eyes flick to her and linger there, blinking again, squeezing shut and opening them as though clearing them of some fog.

“We scared you,” Sarah tries again; she’s doing it properly, better than Tony was, keeping her hands open and spread, raising them to show she’s not a threat.

More blinking, and a slight shuffle to move Cassie behind him. “Yeah,” Peter manages, the word raspy, the sleeve of his old sweatshirt draping over his knuckles; he regrips his sweaty fingers around the needle, and his breath comes out of him high and fast.

“Can you tell me what’s wrong?”

“You said—you said—“ Peter swallows, and he’s trembling again. “I won’t leave her.”

“Okay,” she says calmly, “that’s completely understandable. You want to make sure she’s safe?”

Peter glances to Tony, and then back at Sarah, his face betraying his confusion. “Yeah,” he says, after a few seconds more of pause.

“We do, too,” she says. “That syringe in your hand?” She doesn’t point, she simply nods her head vaguely in Peter’s direction, hands still up. “It’s got about three milliliters of enhanced sedative made specifically for you. If you accidentally prick Cassie, or one of us—someone could get hurt, Peter. We don’t want anyone to get hurt.”

“I won’t hurt her,” he hisses, through gritted teeth, but the hand holding the syringe trembles.

“I know you won’t,” Sarah says gently, taking a step towards him. “I know. You want to protect her, don’t you?”

“Have to,” Peter manages, and the kid’s hands are still shaking.

Behind Tony somewhere, Maggie Paxton has her hand over her mouth.

“Give it to me, Peter,” says Tony, stepping towards the kid. “Please, just—just give it to me.”

(He wonders if this is how it went in the bunker. He knows Peter tried four times to escape. Is this how it was? Did they wrench the weapon from his trembling hands? Did Cassie stand crying behind his guarding arm? Did Peter cry out for someone to help him? For Tony to help him?)

Cassie’s dark head pokes out from behind him, her face flush from crying—and Peter shoves her back.

“It’s only a couple hours,” Tony reminds him, taking another tentative step, reaching his arm out. “No one will touch you. I promise—no one will touch you, Peter.”

"Just give it to us," says Sarah, moving forward, too. "Please, Peter. We don't want anyone to get hurt."

Peter looks at him then, eyes ashine with violent upset, and a moment flashes in Tony’s head—

the kid looks directly into the camera, arms straining against the cuffs, and he shouts, “Don’t worry, Mr. Stark!” Even as his body shivers in anticipation, even as the glow of the blowtorch goes white-hot against his face, he shouts, “I’ll be fine—everything’s gonna be okay—I’ll get out of here, you know I can do it!” His sweatshirt is still whole, mostly-zipped up over his still-white T-shirt, and his unbroken knees strain against his jeans. “I’ll get everyone out of here, I can do it, don’t worry, you don’t have to—” A man grasps Peter by his head, clasping over his smooth-gelled hair and pinning his head against one side of the chair, and the kid cries out—and then keeps talking anyway, because it’s Peter and he doesn’t know when to shut up, because he’s stupid, brave, wonderful Peter— “I’ve got it, don’t worry about me, I’m okay, don’t worry—” The man looks at him into the camera, grins widely, and forces the blowtorch to Peter’s head, and the kid finally stops talking—gritting his teeth, until finally his mouth opens in a horrible scream—

—and when Tony comes back to himself, Peter has lowered his arm and is surrendering his weapon to Sarah, holding Cassie in his trembling arms and whispering to her hastily, something that Tony can barely catch—something about rules, something about being safe, something else, too.

The little girl’s mother moves forward to grab her daughter, and the little girl peels away—immediately breaking away and springing back into Peter’s arms, throwing herself to him and hugging him tight. And they’re whispering again to each other like they did in those first couple days, so quietly that only they themselves can hear, and Peter kisses the little girl’s head and then stands up as she cries—she grasps one last time at his sweatshirt but lets him go.

Like she knows it’s pointless to fight.

Peter takes a gasping breath, holding it in his chest like someone’s about to shoot him in the head, looks back once at Cassie, and limps towards the door.

Notes:

kinda sucks that peters reaction wasn’t even that strong, mostly because peter expects bad things to happen, so all of that waiting, all of the stress tony put himself through, was kind of for nothing.

also i hate that peter worries about the publicity of what happened - like, the kid's barely lucid and now he's gotta worry about the fact that people know about what happened between him and beck - or that tony knows, even.

also i'll get around to responding to comments eventuallyy

keep applying for jobs, hoping to get outta my parents house, all good tho. i like having my sister around. been pretty much sober since i got home, which is super weird. all my friends are back at school, and it rly f*cking sucks being at home sometimes. it's cool. i'll figure it out. tried out a couple dates, it's meh. kinda weird dating after stuff happens? but i'm doing better overall. uncertain future and whatnot, but i'm better.

not sure when a next chapter will come. gotta get inspo, you know. have a great august, if ur going back to school, good luck, otherwise it's been so nice to hear from you all in the comments

Chapter 51: doomsday, pt 1

Notes:

chap title from 'doomsday' by lizzy mcalpine

cw: not much? a vague mention of self-harm, legal mentions of violence and sexual assault

a little long, sorry

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 23 — 1:19 PM

Ned and MJ have been sitting outside of the courthouse for nearly two hours now.

There’s a bench across the street, and they’re sharing it as they wait. It seems callous to open their phones or do homework to pass the time, so neither of them do—both of them attempting conversation and failing as the minutes pass.

Ned keeps checking his watch—a plastic Spider-man watch, which seemed funny when he and Peter had bought it at the time, but now just seems like some kind of disconcerting reminder of what had happened these past few months.

“A court case is good,” blurts Ned, because MJ hasn’t said anything in a while. “Right? I mean, obviously it’s pretty bad, and there’s, like, federal stuff in there. Bad stuff. So… it’s bad for them, but it’s good for him, right?”

MJ shrugs; she’s dressed in a dark green hoodie and paint-spattered jeans. The hood’s pulled over her head, and she’s picking at her fingernails as Ned talks. She hasn’t said much since they got here.

“‘Cause that means they caught the guys who did it?” he adds, babbling on, anxiety gnawing at him, and Ned glances down at his backpack—it lies half-zipped next to him on the bench. “So it’s over—and when it’s over, he can come home… I mean, not home home, but like, at least his apartment building, there’s gotta be something open there—I’m sure Mr. Stark would help—”

Cutting him off, MJ laughs then, an odd sound, dry and devoid of any humor.

Ned swallows. “What?”

MJ picks at the edge of her nail along the peeling black polish; it chips, and a fleck of it falls onto her jeans. “Hasn’t been much help so far,” she says.

Ned feels hot in the face, defensiveness prickling at his cheeks. Across the street, a bright blue van pulls up and parks. A well-dressed woman climbs out of the front as a man with a camera sets up his equipment. “That wasn’t his fault,” he says. “Those guys—they—they held him hostage, they told him they’d—”

“He’s a superhero,” MJ interrupts, and Ned falls silent.

She’s right.

Tony Stark is a superhero—and he didn’t save Peter for five whole months. Five. Weeks and weeks of Peter’s life, so many days that his birthday passed, so many that junior year ended and senior year started, so many that a worried Betty Brant had come up to him and asked, “ So is he still sick or whatever?” and Ned had nothing but a shrug to give her. One hundred and forty days without his best friend, and someone was to blame. The bad guys for taking Peter. Tony Stark for forcing Ned to keep quiet. The Avengers, maybe, for failing to rescue him.

Ned doesn’t say anything in response, instead staring down at his scuffed-up sneakers. Maybe MJ’s right. Maybe… Maybe he shouldn’t have trusted Tony Stark from the start.

Without moving, MJ’s eyes flick to him and back to the courthouse doors. The wind picks up a bit, sweeping some of her brown hair over her face and onto her mouth, and she drags it away with her fingernail.

Soon enough the press truly starts to swarm, arriving in freshly-painted vans and dented cars, a couple on bikes or walking off the subway stop nearby. Some start to set up cameras and microphones; others crane their necks at the courthouse doors and thrust their cameras above the growing crowd for a desperate snapshot of the news’ latest target, waiting at the steps like a predator for prey, like sharks circling bloody water, like crows peering down at reeking carrion.

Because that’s what Peter Parker has become. A spectacle.

Ned’s Spider-man watch begins to feel a little too tight, the cheap plastic band sticking to his sweaty wrist. It’s so stupid, this Spider-Man kid’s watch. Would Peter laugh if he saw it now? Would Peter even laugh at all?

(Ned can’t stop thinking—they haven’t even seen a photo of their friend, let alone seen him in person. What could he look like now, after that photo in the mountains? Happy told Ned that Peter liked the Legos. That had to mean he was okay. It had to. Because Ned really, really doesn’t know what to do if Peter’s not okay.)

So, they wait. And they wait, and they wait.

“Do you think he’s… better?” Ned asks. “Like…” He can see the image in his head like a movie screen: Peter’s body hanging limp in Mr. Stark’s arms, pale and skeletal, red peeking from under black sleeves, his head tilted back and his hair so long that it trailed down. “Uh. You know.”

“Happy said he was,” MJ answers stiffly, after a beat.

Both of them look then to the courthouse, watching as the people move around. A series of sleek gray cars drop off a group of suited men with lanyards strung around their necks. They each wave their badges at the guards before slipping inside the massive double doors. The press quickly snaps pictures as the door props open, but without much excitement. The press don’t seem to care about a couple old men in suits—attorneys, probably. All these people milling about—they’re just waiting, really, waiting just like Ned and MJ are.

Waiting for Peter.

Ned wonders what car they’ll take—Mr. Hogan used to pick Peter up in a black SUV. A Mercedes, he thinks. Maybe that one.

At some point, a row of uniformed police officers pile out of their vehicles. Red and blue lights flash as they clear away the angry waves of the paparazzi, eliciting shrill shouts and noises of protest. There, amongst the huge crowd, a long-haired reporter grasps a microphone. Addressing the camera, her voice cuts through the commotion: “…with the Stark Seven case—unfortunately, the federal courthouse is closed to the public, but if we’re lucky, we can catch a glimpse of our defendants as they enter. The Stark Seven are being accused and arraigned separately of their charges, most of which were committed in the state of New Hampshire when they were found. The infamous Charlie Keene…”

But Ned still can’t stop thinking about what MJ said. The truth of it all. Tony Stark was a superhero. He was Iron Man. He should’ve saved Peter. Tony Stark had supersuits and billions of dollars and genius-level intellect and military-grade weapons—so why didn’t he just save him? What circ*mstances could’ve been so terrible that Tony Stark couldn’t succeed in saving one kid? Aliens? Monsters? Crazy super-villains with crazy super-tech? He’s imagined every possible scenario—all of them just make Ned think about his best friend, alone and frightened and bleeding, begging Iron Man for help.

A superhero should’ve been able to save Peter. A superhero should’ve been able to protect him from getting hurt. A superhero could have— should have—broken Peter out on the first day without a second thought.

Ned should hate him for failing—for leaving Peter there, for letting him get hurt, for making Ned bear all of these months alone.

But wasn’t Peter a superhero, too?

SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 23 — 1:44 PM

They’re in the car.

It’s a heavy-duty Mercedes-Benz with bulletproof windows and dull black paint. One that Tony and Pepper used to ride in while escaping from paparazzi. One that used to peel around corners and scrape against signposts—back when a couple unwanted cameras were the worst danger they could face, back when his Iron Man suit could protect him from anything that dared take a swing at him.

Now, Tony knows worse.

Now, Tony knows much, much worse.

Happy is driving, and Sam Wilson is in the passenger seat beside him. He and Steve Rogers were selected as Peter’s security team, so they’re both dressed nicely in a black suit and tie. Peter’s sitting in the backseat with the seatbelt drawn right across his chest, Tony on one side and Sarah Wilson on the other.

There’s a matching car behind them—Foggy Nelson driving, and Murdock sitting in the seat beside him; Tony can see them chatting as they drive, both of Nelson’s hands tapping at the wheel as he speaks. Pepper is in the back, safe between Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes. Some of the other Avengers are meeting them at the courthouse for support and more security. Bruce, Nat and Clint are all allowed to attend as witnesses.

A third car is a few minutes behind them. Rhodey’s driving, with the doctor’s son and Helen Cho. Everyone else is staying behind at the Tower; either too disturbed by the thought of attending or prohibited by federal procedure.

The GPS is running through Happy’s phone: a blue-line trail straight to the courthouse. The large man glances at it every few seconds as though reminding himself where he’s going.

As if he could forget.

Tony shakes his head dejectedly. As if any of them could forget.

Happy is larger than Tony remembers—bigger around the torso, heavier in his arms, with weight rounding his fingers and thickening his face. There’s a tangle of fast-food receipts in the center console, alongside oil-fingerprinted napkins, torn-up straw wrappers, crumpled brown bags, and unused ketchup packets.

Tony lost some weight during those five months in his lab. It was slow—he tried to eat, but he just kept forgetting , so wholly concentrated on building Charlie’s damn weapon that he couldn’t think of anything else. He had to think of Peter first. So instead of a sandwich—a mug of coffee. Instead of a protein bar—a handful of caffeine pills. He only ate if he had to. Besides that, the caffeine, like the stimulants, wore his appetite down to near-nothing. He barely even noticed the loss—only a couple pounds in the first week, and then a few more, and then a few more after, until around the second month his clothes began to slip around his legs and his shirt became noticeably loose.

Tony’s used to seeing it in himself now: a physical remnant of what happened, like the trembling in his legs or the pacemaker in his chest. And now Tony can see it in Happy, too—the leftovers of April and May, the trailing horror of June and August.

But he supposes stress can do more than starve.

There’s a thousand things wrong with this situation—the way Peter stares down at his feet instead of out the window, the way he hasn’t balked at their close quarters, the way he just let them buckle him in without a fight, the way he hasn’t said a word since he got in the car.

They should’ve had more time.

“This is gonna be bad,” Tony says as he looks at the kid.

Peter’s not even dressed for a court hearing—they couldn’t even get close enough to brush his hair, let alone wrangle him into a suit. He's wearing one of Tony’s old MIT hoodies over a thermal long-sleeve, and a pair of navy sweatpants to match. A couple pairs of socks stuffed into gray sneakers. Tony’s wearing a suit that used to fit him well but now hangs a little odd in the shoulders, slips enough on his legs that he had to cinch his belt two notches tighter.

Sarah doesn’t sugarcoat it. “Yes,” she says solemnly, “it is.”

Tony’s not sure how they’re gonna get him out of the damn car, let alone into a courtroom full of people and onto the stand for his portion of the arraignment.

“We just have to get him through today,” says Sarah. “And then…”

And then what? They have no idea what he’ll be like in there—or what he’ll be like when they bring him back.

Happy glances in the rearview mirror—a fleeting look to Peter, as though checking he hasn’t thrown himself out the side window—and then back to the road. It’s Manhattan, so of course the traffic is a nightmare, and by the time they approach the courthouse they’re only an hour early. They’d been aiming for earlier, but with Peter’s breakdown and struggling to get him in the car they barely had any time to spare. Is an hour enough to get Peter into that courtroom? Is it enough time to get him out of whatever corner of his head he’s trapped in?

And the entire time, Peter doesn’t say a word. He’s quiet; the whole drive he’s unusually quiet—gone away, like he’s being sent to an execution instead of a New York courthouse.

The federal courthouse is deep in Lower Manhattan near several other federal buildings and a small green park—a multi-story parking garage stands near it, so Happy pulls in there. They find a parking spot somewhere on the third floor of the lot where there aren’t many other cars, and when Happy’s door clicks open Peter doesn’t even flinch.

Does Peter even understand what’s happening? Does he understand what’s about to happen?

Sam Wilson gets out next, shutting his door behind him, and then Tony unbuckles the kid’s seatbelt—Jesus, Peter doesn’t even move when Tony’s hand grazes his chest, doesn’t notice when the belt slides over him, and doesn’t react when the buckle clanks against the door.

“Alright, buddy,” Tony says, gently, “you ready to go?”

Peter keeps staring at the floor; his mouth is closed and his eyes are half-open and God, Tony remembers that look—

metal clattering on the ground, and Charlie says, “sh*t—Mason, pick it up!”

The other man moves quickly, shuffling over the ground and scooping up the bloody knife, shoving it back into Charlie’s red-spattered hands. Peter’s in the chair, cuffed in, his jumpsuit unbuttoned and open—baring a scarred chest, and there are several gashes already weeping blood down his stomach. He’s breathing shallow from the pain, his chest moving in odd increments, quick and then out slow as the wounds trickle red down his visible ribs. Oddly, Peter’s staring at the camera, not at Charlie; nearly twenty minutes into the session now, the kid’s gone. Really gone, barely responsive, corpse-like as the other men move around him, as Charlie screeches his name.

Charlie smacks the knife against the side of the chair; his face reddens now with every shout. “...Parker! PARKER! You hear me?”

But Peter doesn’t move. His gaze is hollow, focused on the laptop—and he stays like that, watching the camera as Tony watches him. The cement floor is spotted in blood—some old, some new—and a woman in the corner scrapes some of it off the bottom of her shoe.

“Answer me, Parker!” Charlie snarls, spittle flying into his beard. Tony shakily presses his hand against the still-warm television. “YOU ANSWER ME WHEN I—TALK—TO YOU!” The man whips his hand across Peter’s face—the kid’s head jolts to one side and rolls back limply—a little crooked this time, eyes glazed and half-open.

His eyes are still on the camera.

His eyes are still on Tony.

“I’m right here,” Tony whispers, and his hands tremble as he touches the screen. “I’m right here, buddy, I’m—I’m right here.” But Peter can’t feel his fingers brushing the television—Peter can’t see the tears coming hot down his face—Peter can’t see how much his knees tremble, how his vision spots, how his heart beats and beats and shudders in the confines of his chest.

(But he thinks—he knows that even if he was there, Peter wouldn’t know it was him. The kid’s too far gone.)

Charlie stabs the knife at the chair a second time—a useless clang rings out and he drops it with another curse. The bearded man scrambles for a new weapon, dragging his hand sloppily over the tray of tools. His hand grasps one and he lifts it—something metal, something long. Tony can’t see it yet, but Charlie’s eyes light up; behind him somewhere, several of the goons are talking and laughing and talking more—paying no attention to Peter. The bearded man picks it up, the muscle of his shoulder shifting, his eyes brightening as it comes into view: a crowbar with a pronged tip, crooked with use and stained with old.

“GOT ONE!” Charlie shouts, and then he laughs to himself, the crowbar tilts in his grip. “A GOOD ONE, HUH, PARKER? THIS WHAT YOU WANT? IS IT?” He swings it then, and Tony’s vision goes hazy for a moment—bracing for bloody impact, but it clangs against the chair’s headrest, leaving only a crooked scratch in smooth vibranium where it hit. “f*ckING— ANSWER ME!”

The kid’s eyes are still on Tony—on the camera, like nothing has changed. The long shadow of the crowbar crosses over the kid’s face. There’s something in Peter’s gaze—between the blear of sedative and strain of inflicted pain, it’s there. Like a lifevest drifting in oil-dark water, like an eggshell drowning in yolk, like a goldfish bobbing at the top of its tank—

a hand on his arm and a voice saying his name. Tony blinks a couple times, feeling the stuffy air on his face, the reek of car exhaust and cement. He clenches his left hand, and the world comes back to him. Sam Wilson’s hand is warm and firm on his upper arm, and it squeezes again.

“...man, you okay?”

His sister, Sarah, is kneeled by Peter and talking to him, but the kid’s still not responding, his gaze dull like someone’s just knocked him in the head.

Tony forces himself up, nodding. “Yeah, yeah—I’m fine, I’m good.”

Sarah’s trying some of her tricks—telling Peter to breathe, asking for his name, but the most she can get out of him is a couple echoed mumbles of whatever question she’s asking. And eventually Sarah stands up, dusts off her slacks, and grimaces at Tony.

He knows what she’s about to say—he can see the time blinking dully on his watch. It’s two o’clock now. The hearing’s started. Nelson’s on the phone, nervously fiddling with his tie—talking to the judge, by the sound of it. “...refusing to move, yes.”

Refusal? Tony’s not sure it’s so much refusal as it is confusion and shock.

There’s some talking on the other end, tinny through his phone. “No—no, Judge, like I told you, he’s suffering from some severe psychological…” More talking, a woman’s voice. “I know, I know, but you have to understand…” He stalks off between the rows of cars, phone still pressed to his ear.

“Maybe they’ll let him go,” says Tony, as they watch Nelson plead with the judge. “Maybe when they see him, that’ll be enough for them to understand…”

Sarah gives him a pained look.

“They’ll probably just say he’s faking,” she says, solemn, as Peter continues to sit in eerie silence.

Nelson returns after a few minutes. He pulls the phone away from his ear and covers it with his hand, turning to them and adding, “Judge says we’ve got twenty minutes—otherwise she’s gonna have security bring him in.”

“They won’t delay?” Murdock asks. There’s a flicker of frustration in his voice, as though he half-expected the refusal.

Nelson shakes his head, his face bordering on disappointment. “She’s pretty set on that.”

“And you told her…”

“Yeah. All of it.”

“Let me talk to her.”

Nelson hands Murdock the phone and he walks off with it, speaking urgently to the judge on the other end. Nelson glances at Peter who’s still sitting in the car, and he opens his mouth, falters, and then shuts it again as though searching for the right words. “You might want to…” the man says at last, brow drawn in, “…go a different—uh, route. With this.”

Sarah looks up at him. “What do you mean?”

Nelson grimaces, glancing at Peter. “I mean, we could try to claim duress, or, like…uncontrollable circ*mstances, but…” He runs a hand through his hair. “He’s enhanced. The court’s not gonna… Well, you know how the court feels about him. If he doesn’t show, the judge will put out a bench warrant—they’ll drag him in there in cuffs. So we need to figure something out, like, now .”

Sarah smooths her hands over her face, pressing her fingers at her face, and then lets out a tight sigh. Nelson’s right. They both know he’s right. “We could…” Sarah says, and then she bites her lip.

“Could what?” Tony says, a little desperate.

Sarah looks at Peter, whose only sign of consciousness is the way his hair sways as he sits, rocking slightly. “Startle him,” she says, with a duck of her eyes.

She means scare him.

“No,” Tony says quickly, feeling the sudden need to stand in front of the kid, to force Sarah’s yielding gaze away from Peter. “No. Sarah, that’s—he’s not—we’re not doing that.”

Sarah sighs a bit, soft through her nose. “Tony… I’m not sure we have another option. Either we do it or they will.”

Tony swallows. If the judge really does put out a bench warrant for him—God, he can only imagine how traumatizing that’ll be for the kid. Dragging him in front of all those people? Cuffing him like the real criminals are? Tony hates that this is what it’s come to—shocking Peter into traumatized silence and dragging him out of his safe space in order to get his perpetrators locked up. But he has to get Peter inside.

There is a lot that Tony doesn’t remember from those five months. Some he’s blocked out, some he was too exhausted to retain.

But he remembers how they would get Peter to move.

“Peter,” Sarah says, kneeling again onto the asphalt, trying to catch his gaze, “Peter, you have to go in there, you understand me?”

Tony sees what she’s trying to do—put a little more urgency into her voice, activate that kind of mindless obedience that’s buried in Peter somewhere, that same obedience they’ve been trying to avoid for weeks.

“Come on, Pete,” he says gently, but the kid—he’s gone. He’s too far gone. Peter’s murmuring something to himself, soundless mouthing, lips barely moving.

“Don’t make me do this,” Tony begs.

But he doesn’t answer at all. He just keeps sitting there.

“Peter,” Sarah tries again. “Peter.”

“Peter,” Peter murmurs to himself, an echo, his mouth barely moving with the effort, but he doesn’t look at them. The kid’s gripping the car’s seat with alarming force, his lanky hands like claws against the leather.

He’s not going to go unless they force him.

Goddamn it.

Then Tony looks at Peter—remembering every day of those five months, remembering every time they yanked him out of the chair, remembering every time they slapped him and hit him and threw him to the ground—and then swallows, and says, “ Parker .”

Peter’s head snaps up to him, and it’s horrible how fast that worked, but it does, the change near-instant. Breathing in quickly, he’s just staring at Tony and squinting at Sarah—his body gone taut.

He’s afraid. Very, very afraid.

“Come with me, buddy.”

Tony grasps him by the wrist and pulls him lightly. The kid moves without fighting, clambering to his feet and out of the seat, nearly tripping in his effort to follow Sam. He moves fast like this—like he did in those first few days in the Medbay, like he does whenever he’s afraid. He staggers after Sam, shuffling with that horrible limp as Murdock points the way to go.

Sarah hurries after her brother and the kid, while Steve follows a small distance behind Tony as they stride away from the car.

And when Tony turns back—just before Happy shuts the car door—he spots them. There, where Peter was sitting, there are marks in the car's leather seat—where the kid’s fingers tore right through it.

SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 23 — 2:21 PM

The paparazzi spots him first. There’s a shout from someone perched on the top of a news van, and then a rush of sound: photographers messing with their cameras, news anchors shouting to their crews, clicks of flashing light.

MJ and Ned climb onto the bench to get a good look. Amongst the crowd, two suited men walk quickly, both guarding a smaller figure with a bad limp, moving with enough insistence that they vanish inside the courthouse before a news crew can get a word out of them.

And then it’s over before it’s even really begun. Ned tried to hold on to the glimpse he saw—navy blue sweatshirt, dark pants, hood drawn up—but the memory is already fading. Was that Ned’s sweatshirt? It looked like one of his—navy with a Star Wars logo printed across the back, zipped all the way up.

Ned remembers making that care package for Peter after he came home—filling a tote bag with old memories and tupperwares of food. Don’t forget me, he wanted to tell him. Please, please don’t forget me.

A couple of the paparazzi peel off from the group, but most stay, lingering in their vans or milling about on the sidewalk outside the courthouse until a security officer shouts at them to move.

“He’s okay,” says Ned as they both sit down. “He’s up and moving, right? So he’s okay.”

MJ draws her legs up onto the bench and up to her chest, and she then shrugs.

“But why didn’t he tell us he was okay?” Ned adds. “He would've said something, texted me, or—or you, he would’ve… I mean, why wouldn’t he?”

MJ squints out at the courthouse across the street. She stays quiet as she scuffs her boots against the pavement, shrugging again.

MJ won’t say it aloud, but both of them know. Peter rarely mentioned Spidey injuries until Ned pointed out the scars; he didn’t say a thing about Flash when the bullying got bad; he didn’t even say anything about Skip until years after it happened.

Peter is a bearer of silent burdens. He always has been.

And if what the news says is true, if those photos are real, if that boy who just limped into the courthouse was truly Peter—

—then maybe he didn’t want to see them.

They watch as the paparazzi try to barrel their way inside, shoved back by a few security guards dressed in black.

“Did you get a good look at him?” Ned asks, wincing as another woman with a camera clicks and clicks at the closing door. “I couldn’t see through the…”

MJ shakes her head. “He was with Mr. Stark, I think.” She pauses. “I think he was limping.”

“So he’s hurt,” Ned says. “Still? It’s been nearly a month. How is he still…”

MJ shrugs, going quiet for a moment, and her hand tightens on her knee. “If it was bad,” she says, forcing her voice still. “Right?”

He doesn’t know. He’s only seventeen—he’s never seen anything like this before.

He forgets sometimes, with the amount of responsibility his friend carries, but Peter’s seventeen, too.

“I guess,” Ned says, not knowing how else to respond.

He tries not to think about it too much. The way Peter looked in that photo—pale as a sheet, like he hadn’t seen the sun in months—rail-thin and entirely limp, like a corpse. Ned even thought it was a corpse before TMZ trashed the theory. At first glance, he’d thought his best friend in the whole world was a corpse.

Peter had looked dirty, too. But it wasn’t until they got a more high-definition version of the photo that he and MJ realized it wasn’t dirt. It was bruising—purplish and red, greenish and yellow. Ned had known that Peter’s mutation let him survive almost anything—Ned had seen him come home after getting shot by a mugger. Peter just climbed in through Ned’s window, and grinned at him, asking, Got anything I could use?

But Peter Parker always healed unusually quickly—so if he had bruises like that? Staying for that long? It meant someone had beaten him. No, tortured him. Someone had tortured Peter Parker.

And Ned hadn’t done a thing about it.

There was blood, too—coming down his slack wrists; at first Ned thought it might’ve been self-inflicted—he’s a teenager, so of course he thought that—he hadn’t realized that it might be… That someone had done that to him. Ned tries not to think about it.

Peter and Ned have known each other since they were ten—nearly forever. Six years and change: a lifetime for a teenager. They’d seen each other through awkward phases and strange crushes and Skip Wescott and band practice and decathlon and bad Star Wars movies and good Star Wars movies and Ned’s horrible obsession with hats. They’d stuck together through bad grades and AP classes and Spider-manning and Guy in the Chair-ing and even that one field trip to Europe with their history class.

They were supposed to survive senior year together . They were supposed to go to Comic-con together in October. But Ned probably won’t go this year; what’s the point of going without Peter? They were supposed to have some classes together, too. But now Ned’s in school and the only sign of Peter is the articles published in lying tabloids. A couple grainy photos on the Internet. The occasional phone call from Mr. Hogan.

From April onward, the entire summer he was supposed to spend with Peter: instead, it was just Ned working Peter’s old job, Ned visiting Peter’s aunt, Ned going to thrift stores and dumpsters to try to find Peter’s things that the landlady threw out. After a hundred and forty days of his best friend missing, Ned finally saw that picture on the Internet. And there it was, plastered across every major news site: Billionaire Recluse Tony Stark Spotted in New Hampshire Mountains Carrying Unknown Body.

And then he saw the body.

Ned knew immediately that it was Peter.

MJ nudges him suddenly, shoving the screen of her phone towards him. “Ned,” she says, her voice urgent and a little bedraggled. “Look.”

Ned peers down at her phone—at the bulky black case and cracked screen. It’s an article. CNN. There’s a black line of text at the top, in all caps: Update on the Stark Seven case: Victim heads into Manhattan courthouse for the first official hearing. It was posted only a couple minutes ago, and after a couple lines of summary text is a photo.

A photo of Peter.

The photo was taken with some high-definition camera and is much, much closer than whatever far-off glimpse they saw themselves. In the photo, there’s a man in a dark suit with a full beard and grayed black hair: Tony Stark. Stark’s arm is tucked around a thin figure in a large sweatshirt. The face of the figure is tilted towards the camera, a sliver of pale, scarred face, and a pair of grim dark eyes. Brows lowered, sweatshirt hood drawn up, with a strand of dark hair clinging to his cheek.

Those are Peter’s eyes.

“Oh my God,” he manages. MJ’s hand is gripping her phone so tightly he can see the imprints of sweat beneath her brown fingers. He takes the phone from her then, bringing it closer so he can see—because that can’t be him. How could that be Peter— “Is that…”

Ned feels suddenly nauseated, watching Peter like this, like he hasn’t been given permission. Like standing over someone as they sleep or watching a video of them naked. He shoves the phone back into MJ’s hands, and she turns it off, setting it beside her.

“MJ?” he says, feeling a little dizzy.

“Yeah?”

“What if he…” Ned swallows at the lump in his throat, nausea pressing at his stomach and rising up in his throat. “What if he doesn’t want to see us?”

MJ looks up at him for a moment, and then back down again. She scrapes again at her black-painted fingernails, and then picks roughly at it, splitting the white edge.

It’s Peter. He wants to see them. He has to. Even if he’s injured, even if he’s…

No. They’re his best friends. There’s no reason he wouldn’t want them around. There has to be a reason why he hasn’t contacted them yet.

Right?

SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 23 — 2:28 PM

A couple security guards pat them down—first Murdock and Nelson, then the rest of them. Peter, too.

He blinks a couple of times as it happens, raising his arms as the guard instructs, letting them touch him as he stares dully at the wall. The guard apologizes repeatedly as he does it, patting quickly across Peter’s chest and down both legs.

“Sorry,” he says again to Peter again once he’s done, standing up straight. “Just protocol.”

A man greets them in the hallway past security—by the look of the lanyard strung around his neck, he’s a federal agent. The man has neatly combed black hair and a clean-shaven jaw. He’s dressed in a black suit with a spotted tie. He shakes Murdock’s hand first, then Nelson. “Glad you could make it,” the agent says tiredly, and then he grasps Happy’s hand for another shake.

The man has a pleasant demeanor—more pleasant than Tony’s used to seeing, usually—and gives them all a polite smile as he speaks. “I’m Jimmy Woo—I’m with the feds.” He looks awfully tired, this man, which comes of no surprise to Tony. “I’ll be directing you through the process. You get in okay?”

Then Woo reaches to Tony—another handshake—and for some reason Tony shifts backwards, his heart thumping in his chest as he stares at the man’s open hand.

They stare at each other.

Why the hell did he just do that?

After a beat, Pepper reaches out and grasps the man’s open hand, salvaging the moment, shaking harder as though to make up for Tony’s blunder.

“Traffic was rough,” she says, and Tony realizes he hasn’t had a conversation about something as mundane as traffic since April. He’s not sure he even remembers how. “But we made it.”

Still a little shaken, Woo shoots an odd glance at Tony before returning his gaze to Pepper; Tony promptly looks down, averting his gaze from the man.

“Well, uh, you know the hearing’s already begun, technically—but the judge is informed of our—well—our situation here, so…” He glances awkwardly at the kid, who's still quiet and looking somewhere down the hall. “Does he… Does he need anything before we start?”

Sarah Wilson nods, as does Dr. Cho, and both women introduce themselves; Woo explains to them both something about security badges and medical teams, and then directs them towards a couple of security personnel before they hurry off. “And, uh…” Woo pulls his phone from his pocket, taps a couple times, squints, and adds, “Barnes, Wilson—you’re the security team?”

Both Sam and Bucky have been relatively quiet the whole time, but both of them step forward a bit as they’re addressed. “That’s right,” says Sam. Behind him, Bucky Barnes merely nods, arms folded heavily over his chest.

The agent hands them both another set of security badges on corded lanyards. For Barnes, one reading Steve Rogers’ name; for Sam, one with Peter’s. She’s not exactly sure how Bucky Barnes managed to get himself on Steve’s security team, but she doesn’t question it.

Woo points them towards another couple of agents standing near a pair of double doors at the end of the hall. “Alright, Steve and the kid both need to be briefed. Head towards those doors, and they’ll take you in separately.”

Tony’s thoughts stall for a moment. Separately?

“We can’t go with him?” Pepper says, with a worried glance at the kid.

With a sympathetic look at Peter, the agent shakes his head. “I’m sorry. I know he’s… Look, it’s just procedure. Enhanced victims, federal crimes, law of—”

“Law of collateral,” Pepper finishes bitterly. “Right. Fine.”

“Wait,” Tony says, exchanging an anxious glance with Pepper, “he—he’s not… I’m not gonna just leave him… He’s… He’s…”

The black-haired man takes a short breath and exhales, rubbing one eye with the back of his hand. “I’m sorry,” he says. “He—”

“I’m Iron Man,” Tony blurts. “The law of collateral.” He thumps his hand against his chest, and his palm thunks against the metal pacemaker in his chest, spreading a cool ache of pain through him. “You can—you can take me, too. You have to.”

“You’re a vigilante,” Jimmy Woo says simply, rubbing the back of his neck. “You’re not—well, they don’t consider you a danger without a suit.”

And Peter is?

The kid has spent every second since he got home in a panic—terrified or dissociative or a confused daze of both. Sure, the kid’s an anxious wreck, but a danger? No. He’s just a kid. Peter had every bit of fight beaten out of him by Charlie Keene and his goons. He wasn’t a danger to anyone.

“…you’ll be briefed separately—there’s some security procedures the court has to—“

“What?” Tony tries, taking a shaky step towards Woo. “No—he needs… We have to…”

Tony hasn’t left Peter’s side since they got him back. Not for any more than a few minutes at a time.

“He won’t be gone for long,” the man reassures. “Just for a few minutes, and then you’ll meet him in the courtroom. I’m sorry, but there’s really no way around it. It’s just protocol.”

That’s what the security guard said too, as he pat Peter down, looking guilty the entire time. It’s just protocol.

A hand on his shoulder. Steve. “Tony,” the man says, his voice firm. He pats Tony’s shoulder for emphasis. “He’s safe with me—I promise. I’ll be with him the whole time.”

Tony shrugs off the hand on his shoulder, looking over to Peter; the kid’s still gone. So far gone. Will he even know that Tony’s left him?

Or will it be just like before? Peter thinking he’d abandoned him?

“Sir? If you would come with me?”

Happy and Tony head for another briefing room, and that leaves only two of them: Pepper and Agent Woo. He walks to the end of the hall, and both wait at a row of brass-doored elevators for a while before one pings and slides open, and both of them step inside. He presses a button and it lights up as the doors close.

A moment then, as the elevator begins to move. “You worked with Scott Lang,” says Pepper after a second, with a glance to the man, “right?”

The agent stares at her for a moment, scanning her face, and nods. “Uh, yeah. Back in California. Worked for the feds then—enhanced containment, mostly. Low-level villains, couple local vigilantes. One of the addicts, actually—one who died, she was on my watch back then. Ava, uh, Starr.” Just like Peter and Cassie, Jimmy Woo calls that woman by her first name. “Scott, too,” the man adds, “when we had him on house arrest.”

“You’re here for him, then?” Pepper asks, tilting her head at the man as the elevator continues to rise.

“Uh,” Woo says, and he rubs again at his eye. “No. My partner, she—she was the officer killed in the bunker. Julia.”

Julia de Paz. Charlie Keene’s sister. The police officer who spent the last five months of her life tracking down her addict brother only to be killed by him in a fit of rage when she tried to stop him. Pepper had gotten most of the story out of Steve Rogers, in bits in pieces. Months ago, that woman had come to Steve and Bucky for help—they’d spent weeks searching HYDRA bunkers just to help her find Charlie. To think she’d gone all this time to find her brother—just to die at his hands. Another pointless death for the sake of Keene’s maniacal plan.

“We’d only been working together a couple months,” he says. “Department of Defense, shifting people around… But she was a good one, you know? Hated cases like that—kid ones, ‘cause she had two of her own. But she took it anyway.” He jabs at the already-lit elevator button with his finger. “Put everything she had into finding that little girl.”


She forgot about that: Officer Julia de Paz was the lead officer on Cassie Paxton-Lang’s abduction case. What a horrible coincidence, really, that the officer found both her brother and that little girl in one go, only to die at the hands of her own flesh and blood.

It’s so strange—how tangled up these cases are. How a police officer was set up to find her own brother, who was already caught up in a web of addiction—to drugs, violence… and power. How, in an eerie twist of fate, she spearheaded the very investigation into the abduction of the child her brother had kidnapped. It seemed almost preplanned—orchestrated by some deranged conductor waving around their baton, the control bar being puppeteered by some sort of crazed marionettist.

Not only that, but Agent Woo, a former SHIELD operative with past ties to the Avengers, unwittingly became involved in this quickly unfolding case. What began as the apparent abduction of a seven-year-old Cassie Paxton-Lang, soon unfurled into a harrowing web entangling not only two, but three other Avengers.

With every twist, these tangled threads of a bewildering case only drew victims and perpetrators closer together. Each person found themselves more inextricably connected than the last, caught in a relentless cycle with no discernable origin point—Ant-man, The Winter Soldier, Iron-Man, Cassie Paxton-Lang, Peter Parker, and repeat.

Except it wasn’t Cassie Paxton-Lang, not to them . It was the daughter of Ant-man. It was a tool. It was blackmail. It was an advantage.


And it was never Spider-man. Not to them. It never mattered who Peter Parker was either. He was simply a means to an end. Just like Cassie, he was leverage. They were both just leverage.

“I’m sorry,” says Pepper fixedly, trying not to think about it too much. “I didn’t know.”

Another polite smile from the man, and an awkward shrug. “I’m here now, you know? Doing what I can for her.”

The elevator doors open then, and Woo lets her exit first before following. “Still,” Pepper says, as they step out into the hallway, “I’m sorry about what happened.”

Woo closes his mouth, pressing his lips together as they walk. His eyes drop momentarily to her pregnant belly—she’s six months along now. “Me, too.”

Pepper and the agent greet a couple more people along the way—the federal attorney, a blonde woman named Lockhart, her set of young paralegals carrying briefcases full of files, and several security personnel in bulky kevlar vests—before finally filing into the courtroom through a set of oaken double doors.

It’s a massive room, almost churchlike with rows of hardwood oak pews and a pine-green patterned carpet. At the front of it all, two large tables sat a few yards apart, lined with black leather chairs: the left one for the defense, where Osborn and his team are already sitting down, and the right one for the prosecution, where Murdock and Nelson are waiting, chatting quietly. Beyond those is the sprawling judge’s bench, made of the same stained wood, to the side is the court reporter’s desk and the witness stand. Soft yellow lights line the ceiling, casting a strange glow over the room.

Pepper finds a seat on one of the benches; that boy Harley Keener is sitting at the end of a right pew, earbuds plugged in to both ears, eyes shut and nodding his head to music she can’t hear. She scoots down the row and sits beside him; she doesn’t think someone so young should be alone in a room like this.

Sitting is becoming increasingly uncomfortable with how big her belly is, and she shifts several times before finding a comfortable position.

It’s not long before the double doors open once more, and people arrive in pairs—Murdock and Nelson, Happy and Tony, Steve and Bucky. And then after all the rest, Sam Wilson had a hand on Peter’s back, urging him forward every few steps with a slight nudge. All eight of them head for the prosecution’s table and sit down—Peter, too, after some prompting.

For a third time, the double doors swing open: this time, the entrant is a man in a loose orange jumpsuit, both his hands cuffed tightly behind his back. Two officers dressed in black uniforms follow him, walking closely on either side, and the man shuffles quickly. He is young—short, too, with dark scruff and guilt written all over his face. As he and the officers approach the table, the guy’s eyes quickly search the area, scouring the tables until he spots where Tony and Peter sit. The guy stops walking for a second, frozen until an officer pushes him forward. Finally sat down at the defendant’s table, he has a short conversation with his attorney, Osborn.

Soon, a woman enters the room, flanked by a couple security guards, dressed in a long black robe with a sharp white collar peeking out. She has her hair cut cleanly at the shoulder, and she seems young for a judge—younger than Pepper herself—with dark lashes and darker hair. Forty, maybe, or slightly less. There’s a deputy beside her—a young man in a navy suit and a blue tie—who announces to the room.

“All rise,” he says, as the judge climbs into her seat, and then the whole room stands. The deputy rattles off a string of numbers and letters—talking fast, like a middle schooler presenting in front of a class. He tugs at his blue tie, clears his throat, and then adds, “United States of America versus Charles A. Keene…”

He then proceeds to list all six of the other defendants. Riri. Renee. Haroun. Jon. Zhiyuan. Quentin Beck. Pepper’s heard all of these names before, murmured by Tony when he’s half-asleep or by little Cassie when she’s confused.

He makes a last announcement to the room. “The Honorable Judge Sonya Pearce presiding.”

The judge tells everyone to sit, and they do—in front, Pepper can see Murdock lean over, put a hand on Tony’s back, and whisper something to him.

“Good afternoon,” The judge says. “A bit of a late start, but if everything runs smoothly, I think we should be on time.” She shuffled through some papers on her desk, unhooking them from a binder clip. “We are here today for the arraignment of all seven defendants, although as the charges differ for each, we will be arraigning each defendant separately.”

“I know this case has been very much in the public eye—but I would like to remind everyone of the Court’s broadcasting rules—no photos, no videos, no recordings, nothing. There are minors present in court today, and if I find out that anything leaves this courtroom—you will face severe legal consequences.”

Pepper wonders how many minors there truly are here—she spots Peter, who is squeezing his eyes open and shut, and beside her young Harley still has his earbuds in, clenching his hand around his phone’s glowing screen, knee bouncing up and down to the rhythm.

(That’s something Peter would do, Pepper thinks, if he were still himself—listening to music during a moment like this.)

“Is the prosecution present?” asks Judge Pearce, clearing her throat.

Murdock stands, bracing his hands on the desk. “Yes, your Honor. All enhanced victims are present as well.”

“And the defense?”

Norman Osborn stands from his seat and raises his hand. He’s dressed in a dark green suit with a light green shirt underneath, collar cinched with a bright purple tie. The attorney then asks to approach. With approval, he walks briskly to the lectern and returns after a brief hushed conversation with the judge.

“Counsel—state your appearances, then, for the record.”

The federal attorney—the only woman on the defense’s side, rises. She’s wearing a light gray pantsuit and matching shoes, a gold necklace and small hoops, and her hair tied back in a twisted bun. “Camilla Lockhart for the United States,” the woman says, and then she nods smoothly to Murdock who sits beside her in a darker gray suit, dark red glasses, and a long tie to match. “Matthew Murdock for the enhanced victims.”

Osborn speaks for a bit then, each of his legal team announcing themselves as well. The judge nods to them and asks a couple questions, to which they answer in kind.

Pepper has never been in a criminal court before—only business court and the occasional civil suit—but she expected the judge to be a bit more sympathetic. Instead, she seems to flip back and forth through the packet on her desk before making remarks to whoever she’s addressing. “Mr. Murdock, I see here you’ve tried for another motion for extension.” The judge flips back through the packet, reading quickly through her glasses. “Is that right?”

“Yes, Your Honor.”


“Four of which I did grant—due to the extenuating circ*mstances of your client.”

“Yes, Your Honor—but my client is still suffering from severe psychological distress…”

Pepper’s not an attorney—but she understands well what is happening here. This is Murdock’s last resort at keeping Peter from that podium—keeping him from having to speak to Charlie, to look at Beck, to talk in front of a roomful of people.

The judge shakes her head, taking a quick glance at Peter before frowning and looking away. “Unfortunately, Mr. Murdock, I believe our defense has waited long enough for a proper arraignment. Your motion is denied.”

The lawyer grimaces but nods, and he sits back down beside Nelson, who pats him lightly on the back. The judge speaks for a while after that, and then to Osborn again when he approaches her at the podium.

“No,” she says suddenly, interrupting the attorney. “Under no circ*mstances, Mr. Osborn. Please sit down.”

“Your Honor,” says the man, “my client has no violent priors, and he is a functioning member of society. Home confinement would allow him to…”

The judge blinks at Osborn in utter disbelief. “Mr. Osborn,” says the woman again, louder. “Due to the violent nature of the charges brought against your client, it would be unprecedented for the court to allow Mr. Beck back into the realm of normal society. Your plea has been denied.”

“Your Honor, if I may—”

“You may not. Step down from the podium, Mr. Osborn, and as I said, sit down.

The man bristles but ultimately obeys, walking back to the defendant’s table with his hands clasped behind his back.

“All right,” says the judge. “Now… I know a lot of us have been waiting a long time for an update in this case. I will do my best to make it as quick as possible.”

She talks for a while, mostly legal jargon, and then she calls up the first defendant to the podium—the short black-haired man. Like before, he shuffles forth with his hands cuffed, both officers following close behind. He walks up to the stand without issue, his head bowed in what seems to be shame. He’s sworn in by that young deputy in the blue tie, and sits down as soon as he is told.

“State your name for the record, please. First and last.”

The man leans into the microphone, eyes lowered, and says, “Haroun ibn Sallah al-Rashid.”

“And how old are you, Mr. al-Rashid?”

“Twenty-one,” he says, and the guy’s eyes flick again to Peter.

The judge nods. “Did you receive a copy of the indictment?”

Again, the guy looks at Peter, swallows, and then looks back to the right—to the judge. “Yeah, I got one.”


“And did you read it?”

Haroun nods, before he realizes the judge is waiting for a formal answer, and then says, “Yeah.”

“Good—well, as this is your formal arraignment, I will read the indictment, and you will respond with guilty or not guilty, as you and your attorney have discussed.” The man nods, and she peers down at her packet, flipping one page forward. “Count one, section one-eleven, impeding an officer in the line of duty…”

There are dozens of charges. Kidnapping and homicide, ransom possession and dealing in firearms, drug transport and development of chemical weapons, enticement and racketeering… Enough that it’s difficult to keep track of it all. And after each charge is read, Judge Pearce asks him, “How do you plead?”

Each time, he responds with, “Guilty.”

She gets to a charge of hostage taking, reading, “...forceful compelling of a hostage to perform illicit acts of computer hacking—”

“Your Honor?” Osborn says, standing up. “May I approach?”

The judge agrees, and the man in the green has a short conversation with the judge. She shuffles through some papers and mutters back to him, and then she announces into the microphone, “My apologies. It seems the victim of the hostage-taking, Mr. Scott Lang, was a vigilante?”

Osborn nods to her.

“Then unfortunately, that charge does fall under the law of collateral damage—Mr. Murdock, will you be pressing that charge?”

Murdock stands up and straightens his tie. “No, Your Honor,” he says, with a slight wince.

“Then the charges are dropped—let us proceed. County thirty-nine, chapter fifty-five, section twelve-oh-three, forceful compelling of a vigilante hostage to perform acts of violence against a non-enhanced victim…”

Pepper’s head shoots up. The judge is talking about her. That—that’s what happened back in April, only a couple days after Peter went missing.

Two days, she thinks. Two days and they’d already broken Tony. Pepper went back to the lab after he refused to leave, and she’d brought him some iced coffee. Decaf, venti, with hazelnut syrup and skim milk. Just the way he likes it. Liked it. It’s not like he can drink it anymore, not after taking all of those stimulant pills.

“You have to stop,” he said first. His voice was scratchy, so dry that it cracked on the second word. To her surprise, he didn’t even glance at the coffee. “Please.”

Tony was so quiet then, his gaze still, his sentences all stilted and wrong. And then he hit her. And she hadn’t looked back, hadn’t given any of it a second glance.

How could what they forced Tony to do to her be officially charged as a federal crime, but not what they did to Scott? This law of collateral is such bullsh*t. Ross just needed a way to keep enhanced people in check, and after the whole Leipzig fiasco, he had the perfect excuse—the perfect foothold to put it into action

“Count forty-five, section nineteen-fifty-nine, violent crime in aid of racketeering activity, how do you plead?”

“...and count fifty-two, section fifteen-ninety-one, federal charge of sex trafficking of an enhanced minor, how do you plead?”

The guy’s been keeping pretty quiet the whole time, only answering when he’s meant to, but this time he doesn’t. Instead, he takes in a clipped breath. There’s a short pause, and the man is looking up again—directly at Peter. Sitting next to Tony, the kid isn’t moving, as though rooted in his spot by Haroun’s stare. The man’s heavier now then was—less of that drug-whipped thin—and his bare arms are covered in spotty scars—from needles, probably. He looks sober, too, his eyes alert, a tang of horror in his gaze. They must all be sober now, right? Prison must’ve forced them to be.

“Mr. al-Rashid?”

The man tears his gaze away from the kid, takes in another shaky breath, and then looks back at Peter. “I’m so sorry,” he blurts out. “I—we were—we were high for so much of it—I, I didn’t realize—Jesus, Parker, what did we do to you…”

The judge clanks her gavel against her desk, a loud thunk that makes both Peter and the defendant jump. The man goes quiet.

“Mr. Al-Rashid, I’m going to advise you right now that when you open your mouth, anything you say can be used against you. Now, if you would—how do you plead?”

The man looks back at Peter one more time, and this time he opens his mouth but nothing comes out. He half-closes it again with one more glance at the judge, and then the guy spills out, “Peter, listen to me, I never should’ve let him—”

The judge smacks her gavel down again, and this time the guy’s head whips toward her. “Mr. Al-Rashid, do not make me say it again. You will not speak to the victim. You will not address the victim. Your only responsibility in this courtroom right now is to answer my questions, or I will find you in contempt of court. Do you understand?”

The man swallows and dips his head down, shame coming over his face. “Yeah. Uh. Yeah.”

“So I’ll ask you for the last time—how do you plead?”

It’s like he can’t help it—Haroun’s eyes go once more to Peter, up and down, grazing over the whole of him—his washed hair, his warm clothes, the tube trailing up his nose.

He looks down one last time, and for a moment his face screws up in what looks like guilt.

“Mr. al-Rashid.”

A stretch of silence comes over the room like a blanket, and at last Haroun’s expression goes sour. “Guilty,” he says at last.

“All right,” says the judge. “Thank you, Mr. Al-Rashid. A plea of guilty is entered as to all counts of the indictment. Mr. Osborn, may we move on to the next defendant?”

Osborn agrees, and the man leaves, ducking his head down the entire time. He was fast enough that as he shuffled away from the podium, the guards didn't have to push him, returning to his seat next to the defense attorney.

The second man is quiet. White and blond, large and muscled, with a gait similar to Steve’s. He jerks against the guards as they drag him in, scowling, and Pepper sees Peter actively tense in his seat. The kid’s been remarkably calm for most of the hearing, tuning out what’s going on, but now? He’s gripping the side of his chair like someone’s about to haul him out of it.

The judge asks for his name like she did the first.

“Jonathan Walker,” he spits in reply. He’s dressed in the same orange jumpsuit as the other man, although his is much larger and buttoned all the way up the front.

“And your age, Mr. Walker?”

“Twenty-nine.”

“And have you received a copy of your indictment—”

“Yeah, yeah,” he says, and this time he tries to rip his arm away from the guards, and one has to grab his shoulder to hold him still. They talk about the charges again, Judge Pearce listing them and taking sips of water whenever her voice gets too dry. Jonathan Walker has more charges than his buddy—more violent crimes.

“...section fifteen-eighty-one, holding an enhanced person to a state of peonage—resulting from kidnapping and including aggravated sexual abuse…”

She continues, and at some point it devolves into argument, going back and forth on a technicality on one of the charges, until finally the judge snaps, “Mr. Walker, please. Your attorney has already spoken to you about this—now, how do you plead—”

“Fine! Guilty!” he shouts, jerking his arms against the guards’ grip, and he and then he shoots a look at Peter, a furious scowl, and shouts out, “Guilty, guilty, f*cking guilty!”

“Mr. Walker,” the Judge says, a warning.

From where she’s sitting, Pepper can only see Peter’s back—and Tony’s hand on the back of his chair. She can’t see the kid’s face, but she can imagine it now—apathy in the face of such horrible words.

“That freak’s f*cking guilty, too! You did this to me, Parker! You did this to us! You’re a f*cking —”

One of the security guards grasps his orange jumpsuit at the collar and drags him away from the microphone, so roughly he stops mid sentence—staggering sideways before catching himself and attempting to lunge at Peter. He struggles at the cuffs binding his hands behind his back, yelling, “You did this!” The guard yanks him backwards again, and the other one runs forward to help, both hauling him by the arms as he shouts, “Man, f*ck you, Parker! Why couldn’t you just f*cking die!”

Security is already dragging him down the middle aisle when the judge announces for them to take him away, and as they do, Walker’s still twisting his blond head and roaring, “…dead, you hear me? f*cking dead! Charlie shoulda blown your f*cking brains out!”

The courtroom is silent for a moment after the doors close behind him. The seat at the prosecution’s table meant for Jonathan Walker remains empty. The echo of his words ring through the courtroom as they hear him shouting all the way down the hall—only muffled by the thick walls.

The lawyers whispered hushed words to each other. After clearing her throat several times, Judge Pearce announced for everyone to take a short break.

“I think it’s best,” she says, “...if the court takes a brief recess. Twenty minutes, everyone, and then we’ll reconvene.”

Her gavel hits the wooden bench, and people begin to stand—by the time Pepper stands up, Sam is already ushering Peter away.

SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 23 — 3:16 PM

When Tony makes it out of the courtroom, Sam is standing outside the family bathroom with his arms folded, guarding the door. “He’s inside,” he says. “Figured I should get him away before the vultures come.”

And they already are—other attendees of the court hearing—craning their necks and trying to see the famous boy who the Avengers rescued. A couple of them try to approach, but Bucky blocks them before they can get close, and they all scatter after a few cold stares.

“He’s alone?” Tony says, glancing at the bathroom door.

Sam shakes his head. “Cho’s with him. Checking up on that leg.”

He kind of wishes Pepper were here with him—she’s still in the courtroom, he thinks, sitting beside that doctor’s kid. Instead, Nelson comes up to him as they wait outside the bathroom, nodding to Tony with his hand in his pockets. “You doing okay?” he asks. “I know this is…”

He doesn’t finish.

Tony shrugs without answering. “Where’s your partner?”

Nelson nods his head toward the end of the hallway, where his partner is talking rather angrily with one of the defense attorneys, gripping his cane with one hand and gesticulating wildly with the other.

“There’s not much left, right?” Tony asks after a second. “It’ll be over soon?” He needs this to be over. He wants to take Peter home—get him something good for dinner, something he’ll eat. Build stupid Lego sets with him until he forgets all about this.

“Well,” says Nelson, “they’ve still got to arraign the others. Renee Delaide, Zhiyuan Chang, Veronica Williams.”

Veronica Demetrius Williams. Riri. He didn’t know she was going to be here, too. He thought they got rid of those charges—something about crimes of necessity, or the fact that she was fifteen.

“Riri?” he says. “But I thought she…”

Nelson shakes his head. “They’ve still got her on some of it. Racketeering, it looks like, accessory to kidnapping. She’ll do some time, maybe, but because she’s so young… She’ll probably get probation for most of it. With the way they found her…” He shakes his head a second time. “...no judge’s gonna put her in prison for it.”

Pepper arrives a few minutes after that, placing a hand on his back as she speaks. “How’s he doing?” Pepper asks. “Hard to tell from back there.”

Tony grimaces. “Still hasn’t said a word,” he says. “Not one, Pep. I don’t know how they expect him to go up there and say something.”

“He has to speak?” she asks.

Nelson nods in response. “Beck and Keene have got the most charges, so they’ll go last. After that, they’ll have Tony and the other enhanced victims officially declare their cases against the defense. That includes Peter.”

A few more minutes pass, and at last Cho emerges from the bathroom. “Nothing new,” she says, peeling her blue-rubber gloves off. “He’s alright for now.”

“But is he…” Tony tries. “You know.”

Responsive? Lucid? In any way prepared to stand in front of a courtroom of people?

Cho looks a little disappointed at that. “A little better,” she says. “He’s coming to.”

Right. He only ever goes out like this for a few hours at a time—how long has it been since they got an actual response out of him? An hour? Two? Three? It won’t be long before Peter’s back to himself.

“Can I…” Tony says,

Cho shifts to the side and gestures to the door as though to say be my guest.

The bathroom is small—a toilet on one side with a railing and a sink at the other; Peter’s by the toilet, sitting in the gap between it and the wall. His knees are drawn up to his chest, and he doesn’t move as Tony enters.

The door shuts behind him.

“Hey, Pete,” he says, moving towards him, but the kid doesn’t respond. Using the sink for support, he struggles to get onto the ground beside him, careful not to get too close, and manages a half-kneeling position. “You with me, buddy?”

Peter blinks—he looks up at Tony.

And then, slowly, he nods.

“Oh, thank God,” Tony says. “I lost you for a while there, bud. You, uh…”

Peter averts his eyes. “Sorry,” he says, after a beat.

“It’s gonna be over soon,” he says. “I promise.”

Peter nods—absentmindedly agreeing just because. It’s not like he has any other choice.

“But you gotta try to stay with me, okay?”

“Okay,” the kid mumbles back.

Who knows if that’s a real answer or just an echo of what Tony said?

Does it even matter?

SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 23 — 3:40 PM

Judge Pearce announces for the next defendant to enter.

The third of the Seven is a woman. She has long red hair and a strange expression, like a coyote at the sight oft roadkill. Her hair is unbrushed, and she keeps pushing it out of her face with her shoulder, unable to move it out of her face with her hands cuffed behind her back. Her jumpsuit is khaki instead of orange, cinched around the waist, and she’s wearing a white long-sleeve beneath it, sleeves she’s drawn up to her elbows.

Her arraignment goes quickly and without much trouble—and although she pulls a face at Peter, it doesn’t seem to bother the kid much at all. He barely moves. Like the two before her, Renee Deladier pleads guilty to every charge, and when she is done, she sits with the prosecution.

The one after her, a black-haired man named Zhiyuan, does the same.

“Guilty,” he says each time the judge asks. The man’s covered in tattoos, head to toe; ink crawling up his neck and down both hands. There’s one on the back of his forearm, too, a familiar symbol: a skull with an open mouth, six curled tentacles spreading from it.

He’s a quiet one, though, and doesn’t look at Peter once the entire time, instead staring emptily at the courtroom doors until all of the charges are read. The judge has to prompt him several times to answer her, to which he mumbles out another “guilty.”

When he’s done, the guards have to tug him away from the podium before he blinks dazedly, shakes his head, and walks slowly to his seat at the defense’s table.

“Bring out the next defendant,” says Judge Pearce. “Veronica Williams?”

Several of the security guards filter out into the hallway, and when they return, there’s a girl between them—dark-skinned, with her curls pulled back away from her face. Instead of a jumpsuit, she’s got on a white shirt with a number printed across the back, and a pair of navy-blue pants. There’s no cuffs, just a female security guard who walks behind her, following her the whole way up to the podium.

She’s not there for very long; the judge lists a couple charges and talks to her momentarily about duress and then she’s gone as quickly as she came, led out through the courtroom doors.

“Why isn’t she sitting with them?” Harley asks, startling Pepper.

Pepper can still hear the music playing tinnily through his earbuds. Classic rock—something Tony might’ve liked. “I don’t know,” she confesses.

And at last—a bearded man. Charles Keene. Charlie.

Pepper has never seen him in real life—only in pictures. His mugshot on a news site. TMZ got one of him, hospital-ridden and waving his stumped arm around, thrashing and screaming.

(She tried not to think about how similar they looked in that moment—Charlie Keene and Peter Parker, cuffed to a bed, hospital-gowned, injured yet still fighting to break free.)

But Charlie Keene… He’s the man who trapped her fiancé in his lab, the man who killed several people including his own sister, the man who drove Scott Lang to suicide, the man who brutalized Peter Parker to the point he became unrecognizable—but this man looks remarkably… normal. Bushy eyebrows and brown eyes, a small nose and a mouth obscured by a thick beard. Frown lines carved around his mouth. A broad forehead, the side of his face spotted with reddish pink sores from drugs, teeth pockmarked with tiny spots of decay. His cheeks full, his belly protruding out into his jumpsuit. His hair is shaggy, cut off somewhere near the jaw—his eyes flick around the room. His beard is untamed, too—wild and thick, matted in places like an old rug.

(Like Peter’s hair, she thinks without trying, remembering what he looked like in those first days at the hospital. Like it looks still after so many months of neglect.)

Pepper doesn’t know what she expected—some kind of monster, maybe, some kind of sign of evil in his dark eyes. Mutilated skin, claws for fingernails or pointed teeth. There was always something, wasn’t there?

But Charlie Keene looks normal. Why the hell does he look so normal?

They push the man up to the stand—and he hasn’t said a word yet—allowing the men to haul him up and into the chair. Unlike the others, he has a chain locked around his waist, and his good arm cuffed to it; his legs are cuffed, too, by a chain that leaves him with barely a foot of room to move. When he walks, he moves with a shuffle—his other arm is amputated at the wrist, wrapped up in white bandages and uncuffed.

Beside Tony, Peter has stiffened—freezing where he is in his chair, gripping the arms. Charlie moves slowly down the center aisle, glancing all around, and before he can even get to the podium, Nelson is standing and asking to approach the bench.

As they wrangle Charlie Keene up to the lectern, Nelson is speaking with the judge. “...filed a petition for our client to receive extra breaks,” he’s saying, “especially—before seeing Mr. Keene, who, as you know—”

“I’m well aware of Mr. Keene’s crimes,” the judge says coolly. “But as we’ve already had a recess, I’m going to need a good reason to have another one.”

Nelson glances back at Peter, and then back to the judge. “Your Honor—he’s… He’s just a kid. He’s never even been in a courtroom before. If we could just have a twenty-minute recess, even fifteen, before we continue—”

“Recess?” echoes the green-suited man from across the room, and he’s now standing as well. “Your Honor—I’m sorry, we can’t stop the hearing every time the kid gets a little upset—this is infringing upon my client’s right to a speedy trial—”

“As you remember, Mr. Osborn,” says the judge, “your client waived that right.”

“Yes,” the defense attorney says, with a cutting edge to his voice, “but we’ve waited nearly a month to get their formal charges read—and this hearing should’ve finished a half-hour ago. When’s the last time you held an arraignment for this long? It’s un precedented. Nelson and Murdock are trying to make the kid look worse than he is—and he’s not even in proper dress!”

Judge Pearce ignores Osborn and turns back to Nelson. “Mr. Nelson, is there medical necessity for a recess?”

“Well,” he tries, “my client hasn’t been out of the hospital before coming here, so if the doctor could just check him over before we continue…”

Osborn scoffs. “How long are you going to drag this on, Nelson? You can’t keep Parker off the witness stand—he’ll go whether you like it or not—”

Nelson glares at him. “I don’t know why you’re so proud of that, Osborn. Harassing this kid after everything he’s been through, forcing him up there—it’s no wonder they call you the Green Goblin—”

Osborn’s chest is still moving, shoulders up—he looks larger than he did a few minutes ago, his teeth bared. “I am good at what I do, Nelson,” the man snaps. “My clients pay well for good service—that’s more than I can say for yours and Murdock’s little sideshow circus—”

Nelson takes a step towards him. “One more word, Osborn—”

“Gentleman, please,” Judge Pearce snaps. “I am not your referee—any more of this conduct and I’ll have you both removed. That’s enough from both of you.”

“I’m willing to bet that limp isn’t even real—”

Judge Pearce smacks her gavel down, hard. “Mr. Osborn! That is enough!”

The man quiets.

“Now,” she continues, “Mr. Osborn. I am fully aware of Peter Parker’s condition. I have his medical records here in front of me. You are neither qualified nor informed enough to educate me on the details of his injuries.” Then she turns to Nelson, who’s still pink in the face, smoothing his hair back in some vague attempt to calm himself, and tells them both to sit down.

The judge takes a breath at last, collecting herself, and glances over to the prosecution’s table—where Tony and Peter are sitting. “Now, Mr. Parker,” she says, “come up to the podium, please.”

From behind, Pepper sees the kid’s head whip up so fast that the hood of his sweatshirt nearly slips off.

“Mr. Parker?” she tries again, and Tony’s hand is on the kid’s arm, standing up with him—

“No, not you, Mr. Stark. Just Peter, please.”

Peter takes a couple limping steps toward the podium, looking everywhere at once, burying his fists in his sleeves. He still walks like someone who is about to be struck at any moment, his body taut, head ducked. The stairs are difficult—the kid grasping the railing one-handed each time, pulling himself up to the next step, and forcing himself forward. On the last one his leg shifts a little underneath and he breathes in hard through his nose, mouth shut, crushing a pained shout in his chest.

“Mr. Parker,” she says, concerned, and her voice sounds less hard than it did a minute ago. “Do you need some help to—does he need help?”

From the prosecution’s table, Murdock shakes his head. “He’s got it, your Honor. Just give him a second.”

It takes Peter another minute to get up to the podium; he stops at some point, twisting his head around at some noise, and pauses as though recognizing the crowd of people for the very first time.

“Right up here, Mr. Parker,” says the judge, gesturing with her hand. “Yes—yep, the podium there.”

“Good,” she says as soon as he’s seated, taking a darting look at Peter’s choice of clothing. The sweatshirt and sweatpants, socks layered over one another, hands buried in his sleeves, hood drawn up. “Thank you. Next time, if you need some help, we can get you some kind of accommodation—I don’t want you to reinjure yourself, does that make sense?”

The kid nods slowly, like he’s not quite sure what he’s agreeing to. His hand is on the podium edge, gripping hard so as to steady himself, and he looks a couple seconds from falling over.

“You can sit,” the judge says, gesturing at the chair. “Are you comfortable sitting? With your…”

The kid sits.

Peter grasps the arms of the chair, tighter and tighter, flattening his spine against the back of the chair, putting his feet down flat against the carpet, tipping his head back a little as though expecting a headrest.

Peter didn’t used to sit like that—he used to sit cross-legged in armed chairs, used to crook his legs under the chair and tip it back on its back two legs until Tony got fed up and yelled at him to stop.

The judge says, “State your name for the record, please.”

“Peter,” he says, and his voice is quiet but the court reporter seems to catch it because she still types.

“Your full name, Peter,” she prompts.

“Peter. Benjamin.” Another breath. “Parker.”

The judge nods. “Thank you, Mr. Parker. I know this must be very difficult. ”

The kid flinches, his head ducking down, and his hair sways—his eyes dark and wary as he looks at her.

“Your attorney says this is your first time in court. Is that true, Mr. Parker?”

His gaze jumps up to Judge Pearce’s podium, and then he barely shifts his shoulder into a shrug. “Yes,” he says quietly.

“I’ll have you know, Mr. Parker,” she says, scanning him. “It’s not generally appropriate to wear something like this to a courtroom.”

Pepper knew that, as did the lawyers, who had attempted repeatedly to provide Peter with a proper suit before they left. Pepper had one brought up—one of Peter’s old ones from his closet upstate. Peter had taken one long look at it and then stared up at Tony like he was asking him to cut off his own foot.

Do I have to? he’d asked, in a strange whisper, and then Tony had grabbed the freshly-ironed suit and balled it up in his hands.

The judge is still speaking to Peter. “I don’t want to see it again, do you understand? Mr. Osborn was right. This courtroom, as any other, requires proper dress.”

“Yes,” the kid says quickly, a hiss of a word mumbled through his teeth. “Sorry, sorry, I’m sorry…”

“There’s no need to apologize,” the judge says. “Any suit will do, alright? But no sweats, no hoodies, nothing like this. So the hood needs to come off.”

So Peter pulls his hood down, still mumbling to himself with shaking hands, and then he sits there like someone’s about to scold him or strike him, blinking out at the crowd.

There is a long silence—longer than any they’ve had thus far in the trial. With his hood gone, the judge can see everything—the plastic tubing pulling across his face, his burnt mess of an ear, the slashes of scars marring his face and neck. His ruined eyebrow. His crooked nose. His uneven lip. The only thing the same, maybe, are his eyes—as intelligent as they were before, watching the room as the judge watched him.

For the first time since the hearing began, the woman is rendered speechless.

Judge Pearce’s hard gaze softens on the kid, and she leans forward a bit as she speaks. “Well,” she says, “I know that you’ve been through a lot in these past few months. Your lawyer tells me you’ve been struggling with everything that happened, is that right?”

The kid squints up at her. Something about it, maybe the way she’s speaking to him, with some semblance of comfort, seems to ground him for a moment, and he manages, “Yes.”

The judge nods. “You’ve been through a lot,” she adds. “More than most people have their entire lives, Mr. Parker.”

The kid doesn’t say anything to that, instead staring over at the defense’s table—they’re all there: Haroun, Zhiyuan and Jon, Renee and Charlie.

“Do you need a break, Mr. Parker?” she says. “It’s alright if you do.”

The kid doesn’t respond, instead, grasping tightly at both arms of the chair, mumbling to himself. A moment passes, and another, as they watch the kid squeeze his eyes closed.

“Alright,” says the judge at last, nodding her head. “You may sit down, Peter.” This time, Sam walks with him, catching the kid by the elbow when he trips, and helping him back to his chair. “Where is—is Dr. Cho still here?”

From a couple rows ahead, Helen stands—she’s not dressed in scrubs, but a blue sweater and light gray slacks. “Here, Your Honor.”

“Can you manage thirty minutes? Or do you need more?”

“Thirty is good, Your Honor.”

“And you, Mr. Osborn? You can manage a short break.”

The attorney clicks his tongue, a sharp sound of displeasure. “Of course, Your Honor.”

“Then we’ll take a brief recess. I want everyone back here in thirty. Mr. Murdock, Mr. Osborn—my chambers, please.”

The woman picks up the gavel again, cracks it against the table with a sharp crack.

Nobody misses the way Peter jolts in his chair when she does.

Notes:

hey hey whats up finally got a beta and boy did i need one, thanks to funko pop for helping me so much, apologies for completely f*cking ur sleep schedule, plz forgive me lol. at least now i have someone to help keep my timeline in check lol, so this is realllly good for u guys. and now if u see a typo u cant even blame me lolll

got a job now, it's fine but boring as hell, in legal too lol. f*ck adult life. life's gotta be better than sitting alone in a cubicle for 8 hours a day cuz this is like not a vibe at all, im going clinically insane

anyway thoughts about how the hearing will go are welcome, im open to suggestions

see yall in a week or 2

Chapter 52: ribs

Summary:

flashback. over the first month of peter in the bunker. he's a parent now, although he was never really supposed to be.

Notes:

hey guys

chap title is from 'ribs' by lorde

cw: discussion of violence, discussion of death. nothing too bad.

In our highlight reels we have: peter also a kid confused about death, peter thinking about ned, and of course, forced-parent peter making mistakes, peter being a kid asking tony to save him, peter!! laughing!! cassie calling charlie’s sessions him ‘fighting bad guys’ im in tears

Note from the funko pop, the beta: "omg i'm a sucker for comparative angst, and cassie’s pov made me bawl my eyes out. Y’all will enjoy this fr. I can’t with this chapter. The author wrote this because she told me that the planned chapter was too sad, BUT THIS ONE’S JUST AS SAD!!?!?!? *crying*"

In case you forget godfather is that code word peter has with tony, funko made me write this

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Cassie has learned to love her new home.

It is small and dirty and she never gets to leave, but it’s home. Hers and Peter’s. The bloodstain on the floor, the rusty faucet leaking cold water, the rattling pipes in the ceiling, their rusty bucket bolted to the floor. The concrete bed, the scratched out words underneath, the huge door with the food slot at the bottom and no handle.

It’s home.

She naps one afternoon because she wants to sleep away some of the hunger, and when she wakes Peter is beneath the bed, scratching at the wall with that crooked nail. She can hear the noise as he does, scratching and scraping in slow strokes; he must be writing something.

“Peter?” she calls out.

The scratching pauses for a moment, and then it continues.

She climbs down from the bed and tries to see what he’s writing. He’s lying with his back to her, “Peter?” she says, because he didn’t answer her.

It’s close to time. She doesn’t know how exactly she knows it’s nearly seven o’clock, but she does know. Maybe it’s the sound of the people outside shuffling anxiously, the way Charlie sometimes paces outside his door for minutes before it begins.

He’s coming. They both know he’s coming.

“Peter?” she says again.

Sometimes he doesn’t answer her at all; sometimes he’s in one of his moods. He gets grumpy sometimes, her big brother, and Cassie knows she should leave him alone but can’t help but wonder what he’s writing. She kneels beside the bed so she can see, but she only gets a glimpse of what he’s writing—the rest of it is blocked by his body.

“What are you writing?” Cassie asks.

The scratching pauses. “Nothing,” Peter says, without looking at her.

It's not long before she's tired of waiting, and she announces, "My turn!" as he continues to write.

A sigh from him, and it takes a few minutes but he drags himself out from beneath the bed and offers the rusty nail to her.

And as Cassie grabs for the nail, she gets a glimpse of what Peter has written there, the letters all crooked.


GODFATHER.

“Peter?”

“Yeah?”

“What’d you wanna be? Before you grew up?”

“Grew up? I’m not a grown-up, Stinger. I’m sixteen.”

“Sixteen’s a grown-up.”

“No, it’s not.”

“Yes, it is.”

“No, it’s… you know what, fine. Fine. I’m a grown-up.”

“So what did you wanna be? A superhero, right?”

“Uh… An engineer.”

“What’s that?”

“Someone who…makes things. Fixes things. Makes them better.”

“Oh. But you’re Spider-man now.”

“Well, I, uh. I didn’t know I was gonna… That was an accident.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. Spider bit me on a field trip a couple years ago.”

“What kind of spider?”

“Don’t know.”

“Was it big?”

“No, not really.”

“Did it hurt?”

“I mean… A little. Not much.”

“Were you scared?”

“Not really. It was just a spider.”

They play school sometimes—Peter teaches her anything he can remember. Addition and subtraction, although multiplication is really hard. She knows lots of stories now; Peter has taught her all of Harry Potter now, at least what he can remember. They don’t have much to do here with their toys taken away, so they make their own things to do. Snacktime, sometimes, with spare bits of cardboard from the Happy Meal Boxes and gulps of water from the faucet.

Peter knows how to braid, so sometimes in the morning, if he’s well enough, she’ll sit cross-legged in front of him and he will braid her hair. He explains how he knows—something about his best friend’s little sister, about his Aunt May, about getting along with girls better than boys when he was younger.

“Is she your mom?” Cassie asks him.

“Aunt May?” He brushes at her hair with his fingers, combing slow. “No, she’s… She’s like Jim. She’s my mom like Jim is your dad.”

She frowns; she can feel Peter pulling now, beginning the braid. He is way too slow; Mommy was always much faster. “Jim is my dad,” she says.

Peter keeps braiding, tugging gently enough that it doesn’t hurt. “Then, uh. Yeah. I guess she is my mom.”

It doesn’t take too long. When he is done, she reaches behind her head and touches the braid; they have no mirror, but she can feel it, and it doesn’t feel quite right.

“That’s not how Mommy does it,” she mutters, puffing her cheeks in frustration. “She always does two.”

“Cassie–”

“I know,” she says, dejectedly. “Mommy’s not here. No one’s here.”

Peter makes a weird face then, half of a frown, and he drops his hands away from her head. “I’ll do it again if you want,” he says,” ‘just gotta let me rest for a second.”

It did wear him out, although she’s not so sure why. Cassie didn’t know that something so little could make someone so tired.

“Yeah, do it again,” she orders, and Peter sighs.

The second time, it takes him longer, and afterwards he goes to take a nap beneath the bed.

At seven, they take him away, and Cassie shuts her ears until Peter gets back—her good hand over one ear, her arm pressing against the other, just like Peter taught her. It’s a whole hour, and Cassie spends the whole time thinking up a new game for them to play. After a very long time, the door opens. Two men haul Peter through and drop him on the floor with a thunk. His whole head is wet, his hair leaking droplets of water everywhere, leaving a small puddle on the ground. When Cassie asks what happened, he just shakes his head and hugs his arms around himself.

Peter’s grumpy the rest of the night, quiet and staring at the door, and he refuses to play.

That night, Peter sleeps poorly, waking several times during the night. The third time, his dreams are so bad that his arms flail into her, waking her up. She has to squeeze her brother’s hand several times to wake him, and still it takes him several minutes to remember where he is.

And afterwards, as she’s falling back asleep, Cassie can hear her big brother crying quietly with his face turned to the wall. “Peter?” she whispers to his back. It’s covered in marks from something—sharp lines of bruising, some bleeding a bit around the edges. She doesn’t know what could make that kind of mark on someone; thinking about it makes her feel a little bit sick. “Peter? Are you okay?”

Peter’s shoulders shake again—another sob—and she watches his hand move up and press over his mouth, muffling the sound. Still he doesn’t answer; Cassie wonders if he heard her at all.

He goes back to sleep quickly then, his face still covered by his hand.


“Peter?”

They’re laying on the floor together after dinner, rubbing their half-full bellies and dreaming up at the ceiling. The lightbulb above their heads has gone out again, forgetting that it’s daytime. Their room is windowless, so the only light comes now from a faint glow on the other side of the room: the crack beneath the door, the thin lines in the food slot, and the slight crack at the door hinge.

“Yeah,” Peter says, and he sounds very old.

“I think we’re far away,” Cassie says. “Really far away. And that’s why Mommy and Jim can’t find us.”

Her brother sniffs. “Maybe,” he says.

“Like Antarctica. Or the North Pole.”

“Sure.”

“Or the moon! Do you think we’re on the moon?”

He laughs a little. “Yeah, Stinger.”

“Maybe Charlie’s an astronaut,” she says. “And he has a space suit! That’d be so cool…”

At the mere mention of the man, Peter’s face drops. He gets quiet after that, like they’re playing the quiet game, and he doesn’t talk to her for a while. She’s not sure what Charlie did to him today. There were no new marks on him, no bruises or wounds.

But Peter won’t ever tell her. He doesn’t talk to her about that stuff.

“We’re underground,” he says at last.

“Really?”

“Mm, hm.”

“How do you know?”

Peter explains it in his soft voice, and she can see it in front of her like a drawing: green trees and rushing streams, chirping birds and iron-thick dirt. An echoey cave and a clanking lid. The sound of the guards’ boots coming down the ladder.

“Took me a while to figure it all out,” he admits, “but I’m sure.”

“We’re under the ground?” she asks.

“Yeah.”

“Where, New York?” she asks, and he barely shrugs. “New Jersey?”

“I don’t know.”

“California?” That’s where she lived with Daddy when he got his super suit. Maybe that’s where they are now. “Are we in Califo—”

“I said I don’t know, Cass,” Peter snaps.

“Why don’t you know?”

An irritated huff. His mood has soured like milk, and when she opens her mouth to ask him another question, he says firmly, “Cassie, don’t make me say it again.”

“But I—”

“One more time and we’re playing the quiet game.”

Cassie hates the quiet game. Peter always makes them play it when she’s being bad.

She doesn’t understand why Peter doesn’t know. He’s a grownup, and grownups know everything. So why doesn’t he know where they are?

But Peter never lies to her. Never, ever, ever. He promised.

“You can hear all the way up there,” she wonders, “because of your super powers? Right?”

Peter nods in agreement—a tired yes.

“That’s so cool,” she whispers, because she knows Charlie’s around somewhere, and she doesn’t want him to hit her again. “What can you hear?”

Peter looks up and closes his eyes. “Birds,” he says. “Sometimes.” A moment, and Peter tilts his head up—his ear facing the ceiling like a dog listening outside its crate. “Uh, rabbits, I think. Digging. A couple deer.’

“Deer!” Cassie squeals excitedly, “I want a pet deer—”

Peter makes a sharp shushing sound at her.

They wait for a moment for her mistake to fade into the silence—to make sure that Charlie’s footsteps aren’t thundering down the hall. “No yelling,” Peter says, when it’s over. “You know we don’t yell.”

“I know,” she says. “I’m sorry, I forgot.”

“We can’t forget things, Stinger,” he says, very seriously. “When we forget the rules—”

“—bad things happen,” she finishes, very quietly, quiet enough that he will be proud; with a little nod of his head, she knows he is. “I’m sorry.”

Peter doesn’t say anything for a while. “I can hear some squirrels, too,” he says.

“Really?”

“Mm, hm.”

“How many?”

“A lot.”

“Like twenty?”

She can hear him smile. “Sure. A moose, too… maybe.”

“A moose?”

“Mm, hm.”

“What’s he doing?”

He closes his eyes again, her big brother, and he doesn’t open them again. “Eating?”

“Eating what?”

He shrugs.

“Is he with his friends?”

“No, he’s by himself.”

Cassie nods, thinking. She wishes she were an animal outside this bunker, that she were free to room among the trees. “Is he lonely?”

“I don’t know. Maybe.”

“Is he scared?”

“Why would he be scared?”

“Because of the bad guys,” she clarifies. “Because they could hurt him.”

Peter pauses. “No. No, he’s not scared.”

“Why not?”

“He’s too big to be scared.”

“I don’t get it.”

“Don’t get what?”

“You’re big,” she says, “and you’re scared.”

He frowns, and Peter sits up with a close-mouthed sound—a grunt of pain. “Time for bed,” he declares.

“But I’m not—”

“Bed,” he says. “Now. Go get your toothbrush.”

They got these toothbrushes from Ava a long time ago—a tube of toothpaste, too, the spicy grown-up kind. They ration it in small dollops; she’s gotten used to the taste. She brushes her teeth at the sink and washes her face with her hands and goes to the bathroom as Peter shuts his eyes.

When she’s done, Peter goes, and it takes him much longer than it did her—hobbling over to the toilet and painstakingly hauling himself up to the sink.

The drain hasn’t been working lately, and the water fills up in the sink basin as the faucet runs. For a couple extra seconds, her big brother looks down into the sink.

What is he looking at?

Cassie realizes then, with sudden understanding; With the light above them, he might be able to see himself in it. A mirror, kind of. A reflection. Finally, Peter spits out into the sink and wipes at his mouth, looking much more unhappy than he did a few minutes ago.

“Peter?”

“Mm, hm.”

“You think they can hear us?”

“Who?”

He’s talking quietly, with as few words as possible—Charlie broke several of his ribs on his right side, and now he’s guarding it with one arm, breathing in tight, restrained gasps.

“The animals,” she says. “Outside. Can they hear us?”

“No,” he says. “Don’t think…so.”

“What if I yelled really loud?” she asks.

Peter shakes his head. “Sorry, Stinger. Not the way…it works.”

“They don’t want to help us?”

A long pause. “Don’t think they know we’re here,” he says.

Does anyone?

Cassie thinks, and she thinks, and she thinks.

“What about the bugs?” she asks. “Can they hear us?”

“Don’t think so,” he says.

“You should tell them we want more friends.”

“Cassie…”

“You’re Spider-Man! You can talk to them!”

“I can’t talk to them, Stinger.”

“You can’t?”

He shakes his head, just slightly—a no.

“Then what can you do?”

“Whatever spiders do. Climb, shoot webs…”

“Spiders lay eggs—do you lay eggs?”

Peter stares at her, giving her a funny look—and then he starts to laugh. He’s laughing hard enough that it hurts him, and he winces.

It’s rare to see Peter happy like this, and she misses it.

Peter coughs out another sound—tired laugh. “No, uh… My best friend… He used to… Ask me stuff like that.”

Cassie’s heard Peter mention his friend a few times. She doesn’t know his name. “Is he a superhero, too?”

“No, he’s… Well, he’s my… He’s my guy in the chair.”

“What’s that?”

Peter laughs again, and this time he lets out a dry, hacking cough that’s followed by a rough groan of pain. He goes quiet for nearly a minute before he answers in a weak croak, “Nevermind.”

He looks sad—a pleasant kind of sad—and as the smile drains from his face, Cassie asks, “What’s his name?”

“Ned,” he says, and she likes how happy he is talking about this. It’s something so unlike the Peter she knows now—something she rarely sees anymore. “We’ve been friends since… Well, forever. Since middle school, so… like seven years?”

Seven. That’s how old Cassie is, that’s how long Peter has known this boy Cassie’s never met. “That’s a long time,” she says.

“Yeah,” he says, with that odd smile. “It is.”

He falls asleep like that, sitting up, because it hurts too much to lay down. Cassie can’t tell what he’s dreaming of, but it must be good because he sleeps soundly through the night and doesn’t wake her with his movements. And when breakfast comes in two lukewarm Happy Meal boxes, Cassie is hungry, and Peter is still asleep—so she eats them both before he wakes.

“Peter? Peter. Peter.”

“Yeah.”

“What happened to the spider?”

“What spider?”

“The one that bit you.”

“Oh. I… I don’t remember. It was kinda fast. It fell, and then… I think I stepped on it.”

“You killed it?”

“Yeah, I… Hey, it’s okay, Stinger, it was just a spider.”

“Yeah, but… Mommy says… Mommy says it’s not nice to hurt things, and you—you—you killed it…”

“Hey, hey, hey… Cassie, look at me. It was fast, I promise. It probably didn’t feel a thing.”

“Are you—are you sure?”

“Yeah, I’m sure. I’m sure.”

Peter’s getting thinner, his muscles withering away. His face looks different, too, and some of his wounds have begun to scar over. Those marks have begun to layer, too, crawling up his neck and making his face look all lopsided. One day, he comes back from the outside and his jaw is all crooked—bent on the left side, making his chin poke out. “You look weird,” she says when they wake up the next morning, because his face is all red-and-purple, so swollen that his mouth is big on one side. “Super, super weird.”

Peter doesn’t like that, so he makes them play the Quiet Game after, even through lunch. “Peter,” she complains, and he breaks open those Happy Meal boxes in fast, angry movements. Like usual, he hands her that box of fries first and she shoves them into her mouth fast as he splits open the burger with his hands. That’s how it always is, because Peter is bigger—he gets half of hers. “I want my half,” she says, through a mouthful of fries. “I want both of mine!”

He doesn’t say anything, continuing to eat her half of the burger. Peter usually eats fast, but today it’s very, very slow, him pressing bites into his mouth and swallowing them whole without chewing.

That’s making it worse, she thinks, watching him eat like he’s not hungry—because she is. It’s pressing at her belly whole, snarling at her, and she’s just so hungry…

“You stole mine, ” she says. “You’re mean.”

Peter ignores her, continuing to eat in painstaking bites. He’s still angry with her about what she said, she knows, so they’re still playing the quiet game. “Mean!” she says again, with more noise. “You’re mean!”

He glares at her.

“I hate you!” she shouts, and she knows she’s much too loud, but part of her wants them to come hit him—hit him and hurt him and make him feel bad the way she does now. “I wish—I wish Charlie took you away forever!”

Her big brother says nothing—she hates that he’s quiet, she hates that he won’t talk to her, because Peter’s the only thing she has–she hates that she doesn’t have Mommy and that Daddy is somewhere down the hall and instead all she has is this frown-faced boy covered in scars and burned on one side and all twisted up inside, glaring at her now like she’s something bad. “I hate you! You’re mean and I hate you!”

A sharp sound from Peter—a click of his tongue: an angry be quiet.

Now Cassie’s mad.

She’s so mad that she throws her fries at him—bits of yellowy fries go everywhere. “ I hate you!” She doesn’t care that she’s hungry and he’s hungry—she hates him for keeping them here, she hates that he gets to leave and she doesn’t, she hates that he gets half of her burger, hers— “It’s mine! Mine!”

Sound down the hall.

Peter gives this wide-eyed look at her, and she doesn’t even care; she throws the rest of her Happy Meal at him and howls, “You stole it from me! You stole—”

Peter forces himself up and pushes her backwards towards the bed—and he’s saying something but still she doesn’t care—she shoves back at him, but he gets his hand around her good arm, still trying to push her under the bed— “I hate you!” she cries, trying to free herself from his grip. “I—hate—you—”

The door opens, and Peter whirls around, standing now between the shadow in the doorway and Cassie, holding her back with one arm.

Cassie closes her mouth; all the fight drains from her body at once as she stares shocked at the woman in the doorway. A grown-up, white and brown-haired. A lady.

Her legs tremble a little. There’s someone here.

“Kids getting a little loud, Parker,” the grown-up says, tipping her head up.

She looks young, maybe a little older than Peter, feigning the air of someone much older. She’s wearing a college T-shirt, and Cassie reads the letters clearly: NYU. Peters eyes flick down to her shirt and linger there for a second, and then down further, watching her hands, waiting for her to move, but she doesn’t.

“Charlie doesn’t like that.”

“I know,” Peter says, and his grip on her arm tightens: a silent don’t move.

The lady stares past him to Cassie, tipping her head to get a good look; Peter shifts so that Cassie’s head is pressed into his back—so the guard can’t look at her, and Cassie can’t see anything past Peter’s clothed back.

“Better keep an eye on her,” she says.

“I am.”

There’s a long moment where Cassie can’t see anything at all—and neither Peter nor the grown-up say anything to break the silence.

The lady shuts the door then, and the lock clicks.

Then the door is shut; Peter waits for the footsteps to fade, and then he looks at her, Peter Parker with his broken face, Peter Parker who steals her food, Peter Parker who stood between her and the guard.

He exhales—relief, and releases his grip on Cassie’s arm.

“I’m sorry,” she blurts out. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry…”

His eyes are dark; his face is still broken, and his face tenses in pain as he opens his mouth. “I know,” Peter says, breaking their silence.

Whatever hate Cassie had trapped in her chest dissipated when that door opened—the hunger in her belly lapped by fear. “I won’t do it again,” she says.

Peter grimaces. “I know,” he says again.

“Peter?”

Her big brother hums back at her—barely a sound—acknowledging he heard her.

“What’s heaven like?”

A long silence, a slight shift, and a small breath. “Don’t know. Never been.”

Cassie laughs at that, because it sounds funny, but Peter doesn’t seem to think so. He stays quiet, and when he goes quiet, she does, too.

They’re in bed now, laying down—Cassie on the inner side next to the wall, Peter on the outside facing the door. It is nighttime, and they should be sleeping, but Cassie is still awake.

“Sorry,” she says.

“It’s okay.”

Long silence, filled with Peter’s pained breathing—strained. In and out, and in and out, and in and out again.

“Is your mommy there?”

Another pause. “Sure,” he says.

“And your daddy, too?”

“I guess.”

“And your—”

“Yeah, Stinger, all of them, okay? Now go to sleep.”

The light above them is off—so she can’t tell if his eyes are open or not. “Are they lonely?” she asks.

“Who?”

“All the people. In heaven.”

This time, his head turns. He’s looking at her, she thinks, but she really can’t tell. “They’ve got each other,” he says.

Grown-ups know everything, and Peter is a grown-up, so he must be right.

But how could it be heaven if they didn’t have him? How could his parents be happy without him?

The ceiling is dark above them, and the room is dark beside her; she can’t see anything beyond the nighttime pressing at her eyes. “Peter?” she calls out, although he is right beside her.

“What?”

“Do they miss you?”

Peter takes a while to answer; as she waits, Cassie wonders what they will do to him tomorrow; she hopes he will be well enough to play when he gets back. “Go to sleep, Cassie.”

“Do they?”

He moves again. She thinks she can see him in the night: dark against darker, his body shifting on their blanketless bed. “They’re happy there,” Peter says quietly. “Okay? Everyone’s happy in heaven.”

Cassie thinks about Peter’s parents then, the ones he rarely speaks of. She thinks of Tony Stark, who she’s never met. Of his Aunt May and his Uncle Ben. The people she’s only heard about in stories—Peter’s stories.

Then she thinks of Mommy and Daddy, eating breakfast in the kitchen—a world beyond hers. So far away that she’s not even sure it’s real. Jim in his police uniform. Mommy in her work clothes. Singing in the kitchen, eating at the dinner table, driving in the car, sleeping warmly in their beds.

Heaven, she thinks, although it isn’t, not quite. Heaven to her, at least.

“Do they miss me?” Cassie asks.

Peter pauses again, and he takes a couple strained breaths before he answers again. “Who?”

“Mommy,” she says, thinking of her mommy’s blonde hair. “Jim.”

“Of course they do,” he says. “They love you.”

“But they’re not here,” she says, and she feels so much like crying that she can feel her eyes burn. “They didn’t—they didn’t come get me.”

She used to think that after soccer practice sometimes, when Mommy was late picking her up. They forgot me, she’d think, vividly and cruelly, kicking her cleats at the ground. They don’t love me.

More breathing. Peter pauses for a while. “They’re trying to find you,” he says. “It’s just hard, Stinger. They don’t know where we are.”

“They should try harder,” she announces. “Why don’t they try harder?”

He sighs. “That’s not the way it works,” he says. It’s something Peter says sometimes when Cassie asks him questions, and it makes her scratch at the wall in her frustration.

They have spent days and days here—practically an eternity.

So why haven’t they found her yet?

“Are they dead?” she asks.

“I don’t know,” he says.

“They could be dead, right?”

“Yeah,” Peter says, with a strange look on his face. “They could.”

“Like Ava?”

“Like Ava.”

There are a few of the guards who have died now. She remembers the man who Renee shot during one of their escape attempts—how he bled out fast onto the floor, Peter’s shocked face as the blood continued to spread, the way he gurgled and thrashed until he was still.

“Like Frank?” she asks,

A pause. “You remember his name?”

“Yeah, I remember,” she says. “Haroun said. When the red-haired lady shot him.”

Peter stares at her—a tinge of worry in his gaze.

“He bled a lot,” she adds, because it’s true. Cassie points to the spot on their floor that’s still there. She tried to get it out once while Peter was sleeping, but it’s too stained—the leftovers of Frank still there. “He was yelling. That was scary.”

Peter doesn’t like when she talks about things that have happened. Like the sound of Charlie’s fist meeting Ava’s face—the sound of her going quiet forever. Like the blood coming everywhere from Frank’s neck. Like anything that happens outside of this room.

Cassie tips her head into his arm. “Are they in heaven?” she asks, although she’s not sure why.

Peter doesn’t respond for a long while.

“Peter?”

He hums a little—acknowledging he’s heard her.

“Are they?”

“I don’t know.”

“Ava was nice,” she says firmly, “so she’s in heaven, right?”

Above their heads, the water pipes click faultily—the water humming as it rushes to the radiator in the wall.

“Do you think she’s in heaven?” Peter says quietly.

She knows that voice; it’s like when Mommy talks about Santa, or when Jim talks about the Tooth Fairy.

“Yeah,” she says. “She was nice. Nice people go to heaven. That’s what Mommy says.”

Long silence. The radiator rattles again, but it doesn’t get any warmer, and Cassie clasps her arms around herself. Peter shifts his arm away from himself, and Cassie crooks himself into the empty spot beside him, laying her head against his warm chest. He curls his arm around her shoulders, a warm weight, grounding her. He is bonier than he used to be, all sharp edges, but she buries in anyway, her face into the rough denim.

“I think you’re gonna go,” she whispers.

“Where?” he asks. “Heaven?”

“Yeah.” She’s very sure about this, because everything about Peter is good. “You’re Spider-man. You’re a superhero, and superheroes go to heaven.”

“I don’t know,” he says tiredly, “Not doing much Spider-manning anymore.” He sounds a little sad again, so she presses her face into his side, and he tightens his arm around her.

But Peter’s right. He doesn’t have a special suit, he doesn’t have his webshooters, he doesn’t have anything.

But even though Peter’s powers are weaker now—his cuts taking longer to heal and his bruises taking longer to fade—she still thinks Peter’s a superhero. Even now, he gathers the strength to move between her and Charlie. He still goes and fights the bad guys every day and comes back to her alive.

He’s a hero to her, at least.

This is her home now.

It’s getting harder and harder to remember what her home was like before this one.

Home from before—with Mommy and Daddy and Jim, with Ant-Man and first grade and trips to the zoo. T-ball on Wednesdays and soccer on Thursdays and church on Sunday mornings.

Every morning, Jim made her breakfast and packed her lunch. Every afternoon, Mommy picked her up from school. Every evening, Jim came home in his police uniform and helped Mommy make dinner—lasagna, meatloaf, mashed potatoes. Burgers and grilled chicken and green beans. Every night, Mommy turned on Curious George until it was bedtime, and Cassie would go upstairs and brush her teeth, use the step stool and smile at the mirror.

And every night her daddy would drive over and sing her a song before bed. “...in the sky with diamonds,” he’d sing, in that goofy voice he always used. “Lucy in the skyyy with diamonds.” In the song, the girl’s name was Lucy, but Daddy always switched it for hers.

She and Peter don’t have step stools or mirrors or Curious George; they don’t have school or dinner tables or soccer practice.

But some of it’s the same. Every morning, she and Peter eat breakfast. Every afternoon, they eat lunch. Every evening, Peter comes back home and lays on the floor for a while. And sometimes, rarely, if Peter’s well enough, he sings her a song before she goes to sleep.

He’s bad at singing. Really bad. But Cassie likes hearing it anyway.

Tonight, she dreams she’s sitting at the kitchen table and it’s her birthday. She dreams her mother is giving her birthday cake. “Can I have another piece?” she asks. She’s with Mommy, so she’s allowed to ask for seconds.

Her mother’s face wanes and blurs in front of her. Mommy’s blonde hair. Mommy’s freckled cheeks. Mommy’s long nose and blue eyes and small mouth and shaggy bangs. “Of course, sweetheart,” she says, and she cuts an enormous piece of cake and pushes a plate towards her.

In her dream, Cassie keeps asking for more, and Mommy keeps giving it. As much as she wants. Slice after slice. Whipped cream and sweet icing and soft cake. “Another?” she asks, and her mommy cuts her another piece.

Cassie’s never hungry in her dreams. Not with Mommy.

She keeps eating, but she’s so tired. Even in her dreams she’s tired, sleep pulling at her eyes, and eventually her head tips into the kitchen table. Her cheek squishes onto the plate—her face smeared with blue icing and rainbow sprinkles. She can hear her Mommy move around her, and she picks her up gently, the same way Peter does.

“Time for bed,” she says, and Cassie just buries her face in her mother’s sweater, pretending she’s sleeping.

Mommy always holds her when she’s falling asleep.

Is she too big to be held now? Too old? Has she seen too much?

Grown-ups don’t go to school, and now she doesn’t either. Grown-ups leave home and don’t come back, and that’s what she did. Does that mean she’s not a kid anymore? Does that mean she’s a grown-up, too?

Grown-ups don’t get held and carried to bed. Would Mommy ever hold her again?

Cassie pretends she is little and stupid—like she hasn’t seen horrible things, like she hasn’t chewed hungrily at the skin of her thumb, like she hasn’t clawed at a man’s face until he bled, like she hasn’t stabbed her sharpened toy into another man’s back, like she hasn’t heard Peter cry in the corner of the room and clasped her hands over her ears so she didn’t have to listen.

Mommy carries her all the way up the stairs, a slow sway, and Jim opens Cassie’s bedroom door with a long creak. Her room is all blurry, too. Were her walls rough gray or painted pink? Was her bed soft and pillowy or hard like concrete? Was there a lock on the door? Was there a toilet against the wall? Was there a nightlight glowing soft in the corner?

Cassie holds on tight to her mommy’s knitted cardigan. It smells sweet, like detergent, like dryer sheets, like warm soap. She feels herself start to fall—feels her mommy start to lower her down onto the bed, and she clutches hard onto her mommy’s sweater so hard that she pinches the skin past cloth. “Cassie,” Mommy says, and Cassie just holds her tighter. “Honey, let go.”

Cassie doesn’t want to let go.

Her mommy’s face is getting stranger by the second; her straight nose turning broken and bruised, her blonde hair turning dark and matted, her pink cheeks turning pale and gaunt, her soft sweater turning to rough black denim. “Stinger,” says Mommy, but she’s not Mommy anymore. Cassie opens her eyes and finds a teenage boy instead, dressed in his jumpsuit and bleeding from one side of his head. His scarred face, his crooked hands, his tangled hair, his caring eyes.

“You okay?”

It’s Peter. Her Peter.

Peter, who protects her; Peter, who loves her; Peter, the brother she never knew she had.

Cassie reaches out with both arms for him.

“Peter? Peter? Peter. Peter, Peter, Peter—”

A weary sigh.

“Can we play a game?”

“Cassie….”

“Please?”

A long pause. “I’m tired, Cass.”

“Please, please, please…”

“Tomorrow.”

“But I wanna play now…”

“Cassie, please…”

“You never wanna play anymore!”

“Cass…”

“I want Daddy! He always plays with me!”

“I know—”

“I want Daddy!”

“You know he’s not here,” Peter whispers. “Cassie, please—”

I want—”

“Not today, Stinger,” he chokes out, “please don’t do this today, I’m tired, I’m so—I’m so f*cking tired…”

She sighs in frustration.

“Tomorrow?”

“Yeah.”

“Do you promise?”

She wants him to answer, to truly answer, not give some half-hearted sigh—but she knows that’s all she’s going to get.

“You have to promise. You have to pinky promise.”

A sigh, and a beat. “I’m tired,” he says, and he doesn’t hold out his pinky like he usually does. There is a spot under his eye that has scabbed over completely—she’s not sure what happened, and Peter doesn’t ever tell her what happens beyond those doors, so she can only wonder.

He’s always tired now. Too tired to play, too tired to speak, too tired to do much else than lay on the floor and sleep.

Cassie sits now, hugging her arms around her chest, feeling more alone than ever. All she wants now is to leave this room, to be back home with Mommy, Jim, and Daddy.

Home, she thinks, but she’s having trouble remembering it now.

Maybe this is her home now; maybe this is her family, too.

Cassie wakes in the middle of the night.

The light is on above her head—it flickers on and off, on and off. The lone lightbulb above is their only source of light—old and yellow with a twisted wire inside, surely hot to the touch. It’s surrounded by a metal cage that keeps them from breaking it—thin enough that a hand could not squeeze through, and a finger could only reach far enough to graze it. It’s an old light, on some broken time system that no longer works. Sometimes on during the night, sometimes off during the day.

And tonight it is on.

It is a small room—so any time Peter moves or makes a sound, Cassie wakes. She hears him shift around a little and then get up, limping the few steps to the locked door.

He does this sometimes when he thinks Cassie is sleeping—checking the door for flaws. Peter takes his hand and runs it along the smooth edge of the door. It’s how it always is, and how it always will be—smooth. Then Peter’s hand grazes over the useless frame—the hinge is on the other side. There’s no screw to touch—the entire wall and door is smooth. There’s no lock to pick, no handle to pull, no hinge to break open. Nothing.

There’s no way out of here. They both know that.

It doesn’t seem to stop Peter from trying.

Her big brother presses at the food slot, trying to pry it open with his thin fingers—one hand and then the other, the bottom and then either side. His fingernails are bitten so low that he has nothing to pry up with anyway, so he wedges his fingers beneath the food slot and attempts to pull.

What would happen if he got it open anyway? Neither of them could fit through. They don’t have the key to the door’s vibranium lock. They don’t have the password to the door at the end of the hall, or the password for the one after that. Cassie doesn’t have the strength to run; Peter doesn’t have the ability to.

They don’t even know where they are.

Her brother keeps pulling at the door, useless, until his messed-up knee leaves a bloody streak on the concrete floor.

And eventually, Peter just gives up.

He sits down by the door with his back to it, tipping his head back until it hits the door with a soft thud. His knee is an ugly mess, but Peter doesn’t seem to notice the pain. The fabric is torn wide open, and she can see it—all bloody from the movement, swollen with white bone peeking through skin.

It looks like it hurts.

Their light is still on, stupidly blinking above their heads, so Cassie can see her newfound brother quite clearly in the night. It flickers again—a glimpse of nighttime, just for a moment. She wonders if the lightbulb knows it’s in a bad place. If it knows what’s happened here.

And then it comes: her brother’s familiar voice, barely a whisper in the tiny room.

“I’m Spider-man,” he whispers to the unyielding ceiling. “This isn’t happening—this can’t be… I’m dreaming, I’m dreaming, right? This is just a really, really bad dream.” He squeezes his eyes shut. “This isn’t…”

He opens his eyes again. They’re a little shiny, a little red, and he looks up at the lightbulb above them both—the one trapped in a cage like the two of them. “You gotta get me out of here. You… You have to. Come with the Avengers or Captain America, or whoever. Anyone, I’ll take it.”

What is he looking at? Who is he talking to?

“Send an empty suit,” he says, with a tang of resentment. “I don’t care. Anything. ‘Cause I can’t… I think…” He shakes his head. “I’m done. Okay? I can’t... I don't want to do this anymore. So can you come get me? Please?”

Who is he talking to?

Maybe he’s talking to the birds outside. To the spiders, if they’re listening. To Charlie, maybe, or to the birds beyond the layers of concrete and vibranium rebar separating them from the world above.

But Cassie thinks he’s talking to God. Something about the way he’s looking up.

But truly, who could be listening? Who could be out there looking for them? Who could be coming to save them?

“Because I think I… I’m…” Peter looks down at his knee. “I’m not… I’m not…strong enough. I can’t. Please, please just come get me. I’ll never ask for anything else, I’ll never bother you again…”

His mouth twists with something hateful, and his hand clenches in the denim fabric of the jumpsuit. “Doesn’t even matter. You’re not coming to get me. You don’t care.”

His chest is heaving; the light clicks off above him for a second. When it comes back on, Peter’s drawn up his knees up further, ignoring the pain, and is glaring up at the ceiling, brow furrowed.

“Have you even tried?” He shakes his head, his voice raising to a tough hiss—quiet enough not to be heard outside, loud enough that Cassie can hear every word clearly from the bed.

From where she’s laying, she looks up at the ceiling; there is nothing there save the light. Nothing there to be angry at, nothing to point at, nothing to make Peter scowl up there with such a violent intensity.

“It’s not fair—why the hell did you do this to me? You just had to drag me into your Avengers sh*t, right? Why’d you have to pick me, anyway? Could’ve found someone else to do your dirty work in Germany, right? Someone stronger?”

She’s not sure she’s ever seen him mad, not like this. She doesn’t like it.

“Have you even tried?” he accuses, glaring at the ceiling. “It’s not fair! Why is this happening to me? Why’d you do this to me? Why’d you have to pick a fight with Captain f*cking America and drag me into it! I wish I’d never met you! It’s not—”

A huff of anger leaves him, his face twisting again, and he says, “You did this to me and you’re just—” His voice cracks, splits, like a branch breaking from a tree. “How come you get to sit in your pretty little lab with all your fun little machines and tinker away—and I’m stuck here? You know what they’re doing to me? You know what they’ve...” He shakes a little, his chest caving in and out, and then he stabs his finger into empty air.

“This is your fault,” he says. “You did this to me, man! You—”

His voice cracks again, and he shakes his head, pressing his hand to his face and taking a couple shaky breaths.

“I’m sorry,” he says, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean that. Don’t…” He trails off. “Just help me, okay? I need your help, and I’m asking for it now—just, like, help me, is that so hard? I need you. It’s been… God, how long has it been? A month? Almost?”

They’ve been trying to keep track on the wall, but there are so many other tick marks there—dozens of people who have been trapped inside—and sometimes they forget to keep track. Sometimes Cassie wonders what happened to all the other people who lived in this room. Were they little like her? Were they big like Peter? Did they miss their mommies and daddies, too?

“I’ll be good, okay? I promise. I’ll stop wasting my time on stupid stuff like Legos and Star Wars—I’ll never ask you to see one of those stupid movies again. I’ll—I’ll get good grades, I won’t drink or do drugs… I’ll—I’ll eat all of May’s terrible cooking and I’ll never be late, or—or miss decathlon practice…” He’s shaking his head now, pressing his hand to his forehead. “I’ll take the SATs, I’ll get a good score, I’ll get into a good college.” Tears well up in his eyes, and he rubs at them with his fingers, trying to wipe the tears away. “MIT, right? That’s where you… That’s where you wanted me to go, right? Whatever you want, man, whatever you want, I’ll do it. I’ll be—I’ll be perfect.”

He gets extraordinarily quiet.

“I’ll watch the Godfather with you.”

His head falls forward, just a little, and then Peter looks up, straight at the ceiling, resting his head on the door. “Sounds like such a stupid movie. Long, too, right? It’s got that one guy? Marlon… whatever…” He goes quiet for a long time then, and the room fills with the sound of his slow breathing.

“Can’t remember his name,” he says after a while. “Uncle Ben liked him.”

He sounds sad.

Peter always sounds sad.

“Gonna be joining him soon, right?”

He lets out a strange laugh, and then he covers his face with his hand, and then he starts to cry. Tears bubble up and come down his face in lines. He’s crying, really crying, brushing away the tears with messy swipes of his hands, and his face crumples, miserable, before he wraps his arms around himself and tips his head into his knees, an attempt at self-comfort.

He doesn’t say anything at all for a while, a crying mess, still hugging himself.

Cassie’s seen him cry before, but never like this—never when he thinks no one is watching. It’s horrible—loud hiccuping and mucus-filled sobs, sniffing and crying and making sounds like someone’s cut him open wide.

She didn’t know grown-ups cried like kids do; she didn’t know grown-ups needed to.

It goes on like this for a few more minutes—Peter hugging himself so tightly she wonders if it hurts. The tears come fast down his face and his neck, and he wipes uselessly at his eyes with his palm,wincing as he does so.

Peter is always there to hold her when she cries; who’s there to hold Peter when he cries?

“Please. It feels like I’m—”'' Peter pauses, and he tips his head back against the door, looking up, and he breathes shakily out. “I’m not gonna make it much longer. I… I’m not…”

“I could do so much,” he says, and his voice sounds raw from all the crying. “I was out there, I was saving people, and I was doing good , I really was. And now I’m… I’ve got one little girl asking me to save her, just one, and I can’t even do that.” Cassie can feel him look at her. “It’s on me now, anything that happens to her—and so much has happened… All because of me.”

“With great power, you know…” he says.“That’s what May says.” His neck tightens. “Used to say.”

His neck tightens, and then he lowers his head, staring down at his skinny wrist—at the scars looping around his forearm, at the newfound wounds still weeping a little blood. Some of those stitches Cassie has done herself. “Not so great anymore, right?”

His face is still wet—Cassie can see it in the light. Mommy would’ve taken her sleeve, gathered it into her palm, and wiped her face dry. Is that something she is supposed to do? Is that something grown-ups need, too?

“I wanted to be like you,” Peter whispers, and this time his voice shakes. “I think I was, maybe, for a little while… And now, I’m… I’m…. I’m not sure if I’m…”

He combs at his hair with his fingers like he did for her—it snags: it’s getting longer by the day, curling past his ears to his neck, oily and sticking to his jaw. His bangs are overgrown now, covering his forehead and tickling his eyebrows.

“Please, just… Just—please. I don’t know how much longer I can… I don't have my suit. I don't have Karen or May or Ned or you. Just me in here, and I'm… I’m…. I'm losing it, I really am.”

He looks down at himself and from the side Cassie watches his face twist up as he pinches at the scarring around his wrists, scratches at the marks on his neck.

“You’d probably hate what I am now,” Peter says. “Don’t know if there’s anything worth… saving…anymore…”

It feels weird watching him like this—she should close her eyes, but she doesn’t.

“I’m–I’m scared. I don’t wanna—” His voice cracks into an inconsolable whisper. He wipes at his nose, and then at his eyes, and then at his nose again with his hand. “I wanna go home.”

He puts his head down a little, and then for a very long time, breathing strangely.

Then Peter looks down at his wrist. He turns it over then, palm-up, and he makes an odd motion with his fingers, curling his two middle fingers into his palm and extending the two outer ones, poking his thumb out—aiming his hand at the wall. Peter sticks his arm out further, and then he grimaces suddenly, a gasp of pain, then just drops his hand into his lap. A little red seeps out, and he clasps his other hand quickly over it, squeezing the wound shut.

He stares dully at the floor, his hand still clasped tightly over his wrist; he presses his mouth into a thin line. He swallows; his eyes look terrible, all swollen with tears—the skin around them pink and red and worse.

“I’m never getting out of here, right?” Peter says, much quieter, eyes glued to the ground; at last, he looks up again—up at their unyielding ceiling.

Peter takes a shaky breath—in and then out—and he squints up at the light like it hurts.

“Right?”

Her big brother is silent for a while, and Cassie can hear the rush of water in the pipes in the ceiling.

“Peter?”

He looks at her. There are tears on his face, all shiny in the flickering light.

“Who are you talking to?”

Peter looks down again, where his hand is still clenched around his bleeding wrist. His face goes flat, and his shoulders move—an exhale.

“No one,” he says.

No one at all.

Notes:

hope u liked the chap. let my mommy issues run wild fr. god life has been insane istg in the last couple weeks i hooked up with my ex, went to a legal hearing at work, broke up with my situationship, went on a first date, ghosted that date, got wasted with my coworkers and my boss. and then i wrote most of this in 3 days. making debatable choices. anyway. be good everyone, make good choices. don't be me.

Chapter 53: doomsday, pt 2

Summary:

courtroom hearing pt 2. the break. everyone's traumatized. everyone just wants to go home

Notes:

message from beta: i almost cried, it just gets better as i read on.

cw: some flashback violence, not much else

this is a long one, buckle up

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 23 — 4:02 PM

“...a difficult case,” Judge Pearce is saying. She is sitting down behind a large wooden desk, her hands resting on it. “The worst I’ve seen, in my time as a judge.”

Both Matt and Norman Osborn are seated on the other side of the desk. Foggy stands behind them with nowhere to sit, lingering near the door. Osborn’s face is plastered with a pleasant smile, whereas Matt’s tension is near-palpable—his face taut with frustration.

“And it is very clear to me that Mr. Parker has been through an unimaginable amount of suffering.” The judge interlaces her fingers, relaxing in her seat. “However,” the woman continues, “no matter the contents of this case, it does not warrant two well-respected attorneys such as yourselves to fight in front of the court like a couple of children. I am not a kindergarten teacher—I will not have you turning my courtroom into a playground. Do we understand each other?”

“Yes, your Honor,” says Osborn quickly, and Matt does the same.

“Mr. Osborn—you will remind your defendants that intimidation is not permitted in my courtroom or any other. This may not be a hospital or a psychiatrist’s office, but it will not be a place where that boy should be terrorized, do you understand me? He’s been through quite enough.”

Osborn sets his jaw. “Yes, Your Honor.” His thick brows draw in for a moment, and then he smiles.

“And Mr. Murdock?” Foggy can tell from the way he’s sitting that he’s still upset—his hand gripping his cane, his foot tapping against the carpeted floor. “This is a federal court. We do not have the time for breaks every time Peter Parker is upset— I’m sorry, I know, but it’s just a fact. He will be granted the same treatment as every other prosecutor.”

“Your Honor,” he continues, “my client suffers from severe post-traumatic—”

“I’m aware,” the judge interrupts. “Truly, I am. Dr. Cho and Ms. Wilson have made Mr. Parker’s difficulties more than clear to me.”

“But I'm afraid,” says Judge Pearce, “that in the court of law, it doesn’t matter how severe his psychological issues are. If you want him to take the stand against the captors, he has to declare his case. He’s enhanced, Mr. Murdock. You know the law.”

“But if we could just have more time—”

“Mr. Murdock.”

Matt shuts his mouth.

“I’m sorry,” she says again. “I feel for Mr. Parker, I do. It’s impossible not to. But the law is the law. We’ve already spent a month putting the arraignment on pause. I will not drag on this case any further.”

“But—”

“Mr. Murdock ,” the judge says again, stiffer. “That’s enough. I don’t want to see another motion on my desk, do we understand each other?”

Matt and Foggy had spent hours on those motions, agonizing over whether or not to request another extension from the judge. The first few had been granted, and then after that…

“Yes, your Honor,” Matt says.

“Mr. Osborn? Are we clear as well?”

“Yes, your Honor.”

“Good.” She smooths her hair down with her hands. She looks a bit rattled from what happened in the courtroom; for a moment, her eyes glance down to the packet of pages in front of her: United States v. Charles A. Keene. “Well, if there’s nothing else—”

“Just one more thing, your Honor.”

“Go ahead.”

Matt clears his throat. “I’d like to make a formal request.

She nods, allowing him to continue.

“I want to request that the court and the defense… That they only refer to my client by his first name.”

This catches her attention. Her eyes flit to Foggy, and then back to Matt. She takes her hands off the desk, a wrinkle deepening her brow. “Why’s that?”

Foggy hasn’t ever spoken directly to the kid; today is the first day he’s met Peter Parker in person. Yet now he knows exactly why Matt’s making such a strange request. He saw what happened in the parking garage—the way Peter blinked awake when Tony Stark said his name. He’s seen the camera footage from the Avengers’ invasion of the bunker, has heard Charles Keene scream Peter Parker’s last name like a curse.

“...conditioned response, from when he was still their captive,” Matt is saying, one hand propped up on his cane, the other gesturing vaguely. “It would help him, your Honor, it really would.”

Osborn grumbles something under his breath, and Judge Pearce shoots a look at him, which is surprisingly enough to shut up the green-suited man. “Of course, Mr. Murdock. That won’t be a problem. Counsel, did you have anything to add?”

Osborn widens his eyes in mock offense and then shakes his head. “No—no, of course not. That’s fine.”

“Then you’re both dismissed.”

Foggy turns to go, and as Osborn closes the door behind him, the judge adds, “Mr. Nelson, could you find Dr. Cho and Ms. Wilson and bring them here when they’re done? I’d like to speak with them.”

He nods.

She thanks them both then, and they walk out, back into the courtroom. The audience is filtering out in slow packs—Peter Parker is already gone, although everyone else is still at the prosecution’s table—including Tony Stark, who is still sitting down with a hollow look in his eyes. There is a crowd of gray suits at the defense’s table—and one green. Osborn. He’s speaking to one of his attorneys, arms folded. He shoots an impish look back in their direction mid-sentence before continuing to speak.

Matt walks fast over the carpet with his cane in front of him, alarmingly fast for someone blind, fast enough Osborn looks back again, startled. “Osborn,” says Matt, stopping in front of him. “Waive the rest of the arraignment. You’ve made your point.”

Osborn’s hair is brushed back and stiff with gel—his tie is knotted all the way to the base of his throat. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he says, with a faux smile.

“Waive it,” he repeats. “You know Peter’s not ready to face them—you know what you’re doing. Peter has been through enough in the past five months without you forcing him up on the stand—”

“Forcing him?” the man chuckles. “This is your prerogative, Murdock. Parker doesn’t have to go up.” Neither Matt nor Foggy miss the way he says Peter’s last name. “All he has to do is drop the charges against my clients.”

Matt shoots a hard look in the attorney’s general direction. “You know we can’t do that.”

Osborn raises his hands in mock surrender, a slight smirk gracing his face. “I'm just looking out for the kid.”

Matt can’t see the smirk on his face, and Foggy spits, “Like hell you are.”

“Waive it,” says Matt again. “Osborn, I’m serious.”

“So am I,” he says coolly. “It’s my clients’ legal right to have their indictment read before the court. You’re the ones forcing him through this.” The man clicks his tongue. “Not very ‘Nelson and Murdock’ of you, is it?”

Matt shifts his cane to the other hand and grabs Osborn by the elbow, hard. “This is not a joke,” he says angrily. “This is not a game, Osborn. Peter Parker’s life was ruined by what they did—and forcing him up in front of the court when he’s just barely left medical care… Do you have a single shred of empathy for him?”

Osborn rips his suited arm away from Matt’s grip. “Do you?” the man says, smoothing down his green sleeve. “Listen—drop the charges, and it all goes away.”

Matt’s silent then; his hand clenches into a fist at his side.

“Well, then…” Osborn says, with a flash of a grin at Foggy. “Guess I’ll see you after the break.”

Murdock manages another vicious look in Osborn’s direction, but as soon as he opens his mouth to respond, the attorney’s already walking away.

Gleaming teeth. A bloody hand gripping a knife. A wild laugh. “Say hi to the camera, Spider-kid!”

Centered in the grainy video, cuffed tightly into that massive chair, is Peter. He’s slumped forward, head bowed, hair dangling into his lap, his chest moving up and then down again.

“Parker! PARKER!”

With a pained sound, the kid forces his head up, and his groggy eyes meet the lens, staring straight into Tony’s. His chest is littered with scars and half-healed cuts and open wounds, one is wide and dark and oozing blood—beneath it, a peek of white rib. Blood dribbles from a poorly stitched gash on the side of his head, sticky and dark in his matted hair; he’s breathing heavily through his mouth. Dark scabs have hardened around his wrists—several of his fingers are bloody at the tips—pink spots, nailless. His feet are bare and his heels are coated in grime.

There is no corner of him untouched.

Charlie takes a step towards the chair, and the kid’s toes curl against the cement floor. His face shines in the room’s harsh lighting; light shadows over the scar in his cheek and into the hollow of his jaw as he cringes away from the man.

“Say it! I said f*ckING SAY IT!”

Both of Peter's hands grip into tight fists and then shakily unclench. He croaks out a cracked sound through his teeth—an incomprehensible echo of Charlie’s words. Laughter and talking and high-pitched chuckling, and Charlie smacks Peter on the shoulder—hard enough that Tony can hear the smack as his palm meets skin—the kid cringes again, body taut as a bowstring, squeezing his eyes shut and trembling, waiting for a second blow. “I THINK WE’LL KEEP HIM! WHAT DO YOU SAY, STARK?”

It’s July now, Tony thinks. July and they’re still here.

Renee’s got ahold of one of Tony’s weapons—a smaller one, plastic-and-metal with a glowing blue light in the center. She examines it, turning it over and over, smoothing her hand over the barrel, placing her finger on the trigger. “We finally got one that works, Stark? You gonna save your Spider-Baby this time?”

It doesn’t work. Like all the others, it doesn’t f*cking work. “It’s the best I can do,” Tony stammers into the phone, gripping it hard. “Please—I’m—I’m doing my best, I—”

“Does it work, Stark?”

“I need more time,” he begs. “Please—just, don’t hurt him today, please don’t hurt him today_”

But they will.

They do.

No matter what he says, or what he does, or how hard he works, they will always do it.

Charlie rambles on—slurring about saving the world and HYDRA and the bigger stick. All the while Tony watches his kid. Peter, who can barely lift his head but is still managing to focus directly on the camera. Peter, whose face is marred by half-healed layers of scarring. Peter, who jerks against the cuffs every time Charlie says his name.

Peter’s mind is gone—his mouth shut now, his eyes unfocused, his grip on the chair loosening.

Good, he thinks. The phone slips in his hand, sweat against plastic, and Tony grips it tighter, eyes on the television. Go somewhere else, buddy. Anywhere else.

Renee’s picked up the weapon now—one of his sh*tty ones. She lifts it up, waves it around as Charlie screams into the phone. She pokes at the chair with it a couple times—it clanks, the sound of metal against metal echoes through the room before she raises it and pokes at Peter’s shoulder.

No. Oh, God, no.

Charlie’s still shouting, spittle running down his chin—too high to notice anything else.

Tony can’t hear any of the words coming out of the bearded man’s mouth—just the echoing clang of the weapon as Renee swings it up and bangs it against the chair with a metallic clank.

Peter doesn’t even flinch.

Renee lifts the poorly-made gun and pokes him again with the barrel. Nothing—Peter stares emptily at the camera. The third time, she lines it up with Peter’s head and jabs him in his temple, and his head tips slightly to the side, his eyes still on the camera.

His eyes still on Tony .

“Kid’s gone all radio-silent again!” Remee shouts out, and then she giggles. “Should I wake him up?”

Wake him?

Oh, no.

No, no, no—

“Please,” Tony begs, slapping his hand against the television. “He’s had enough—you’ve done enough—give him a break—“

Charlie staggers to the side, grasping the chair for a moment to support himself. “What?”

Renee repeats what she said, louder, and Charlie laughs. “You want me to wake him up, Stark?” she calls out, waving the gun again. “Let’s wake him up!” The red-haired woman hauls up the gun, rests the barrel against the chair, and says, “You’re gonna make me do this, Parker?”

“WAKE UP, SPIDER-BABY! UP! UP!”

Peter mumbles something back. His voice is rough, strained and quiet, another echo of what’s been said. Tony recognizes that weapon—it’s one of his very first prototypes, one that was so poorly made that it would barely kill the mouse he’d practiced it on.

Renee cackles out another laugh. “Fine, Parker. You asked for it—let’s see how good this thing really is.”

She takes the gun and taps it against the chair a couple times—a threat. Then the woman heaves up the weapon, lines it up with his good leg and fires.

A sizzle of flesh, and Peter is screaming—what used to be a chunk of emaciated flesh now has smoke rising from it, and the kid’s writhing against the cuffs, twisting his wrists, pulling hopelessly and howling in pain. “YES! HA! GOT HIM UP! GOT HIM UP, STARK—”

“…Tony? Tony?”

Someone shaking his shoulder. A dark brown hand grasping and shaking a bit harder. “Tony,” the man says again. “Hey—Tony, come on.”

He’s still sitting in the courtroom. There’s a low mill of voices around him—people shuffling towards the open doors, others sitting with their heads in their hands. In the midst of all the noise, someone is crying.

“Where is he?”

Rhodey takes a moment; his hand stills on Tony’s shoulder. He’s wearing a brass-buttoned military suit, his nicest one, ironed stiff with a couple dozen pins pricked to the front. A metal clasp pins his tie down. His hair has been recently cut, buzzed closely to the scalp. “Sam already took him out back,” Rhodey says. “Bathroom. He’s safe.”

Safe, he thinks vividly, and he can’t help but remember how Peter wasn’t.

Tony knows there was a car accident on the day that Peter went missing. He knows that’s how they took him. Pepper’s mentioned it a couple times—that’s how it happened. He just never watched the footage.

Did Peter have his suit, his webshooters? Did he have his phone? Did he call for help?

Did he call for Tony?

He doesn’t want to know. He doesn’t. Tony’s never asked Happy for the footage—he’s never wanted to watch. But he can’t help but wonder how long it took. Minutes? Hours?

Did he fight? Did it hurt?

Did he even have a chance?

Tony wonders then, a brief flutter of a thought, if Peter knew it was coming—if his spider-sense told him he was going to lose the next five months of his life to a madman.

(Five months Peter lost, and he’s still losing time. They’re barely a month into Peter’s recovery and still they haven’t made much progress. Peter would probably lose much more time to Charlie Keene. Months if he’s lucky. Years, more likely.

Who knew if it would ever end? Maybe Peter would be like this forever.)

Tony’s still blinking away the afterimage of Charlie’s face, and for some reason he keeps remembering that first phone call—the start of it all. Charlie’s voice coming in fuzzy through the phone. The prickle of frustration at FRIDAY.

—Charlie smiles at the camera, one fist in Peter’s hair, pulling Peter’s head back against the headrest, the other pushing the knife deeper. “This is your life now, Stark,” he declares, his forehead shining with sweat and pride. “You’re gonna make my f*cking weapon, and I’m gonna take this freak apart piece by piece. Every day until you finish.”

Then he slides out the knife, eliciting another groan of protest from semi-conscious Peter, and flips it down, stabbing it directly into the kid’s broken left forearm with a horrific crunch as metal meets bone.

Peter’s scream makes every bone on Tony’s body light on fire—he can’t breathe, he can’t think, his knees wobble—Charlie’s twisting the knife—anger bursts into panic, bubbling over in his aching chest— “Stop, stop it! I’ll do it— I’ll do it, I’ll make your f*cking weapon!”

A victorious grin. Charlie’s hand stops, pulling the knife out, and a woman beside him presses a bandage to the bleeding wound as Peter whimpers. “I thought you might—”

“Tony. Tony. Hey…”

Rhodey’s speaking again, and Tony looks up at him. His best friend is just how he remembered him—tall and proper, an easy smile, a scolding look. The only person who has never left his side. Tony used to hallucinate him back in the lab—used to imagine Rhodey passing him a tool, waking him up, pushing a wrench or a screwdriver into his hand, telling him he had to keep going.

Not that it mattered. It didn’t help. Nothing did. Tony never did make that perfect weapon.

He could only dream for so long then, before he was shocked back to reality—to Peter’s face on the television screen, to Charlie howling out demands. NOW, STARK—I MEAN IT! ARE YOU f*ckING STUPID? THE WEAPON! NOW, OR I’LL—

“Tony. Tony.”

“Hm?”

Rhodey’s brow tightens—a wrinkle in his forehead—and his mouth pulls downward at the corners. “Jesus, Tones,” he says, gentle. “We were so focused on Peter—I forgot how bad this would be for you.”

Bad, he thinks, for me?

No.

Tony is perfectly fine. He is wearing a suit and he is out of the lab and Peter’s face is no longer grainy on a television screen. There are no weapons to make, no blueprints to design, no equations to calculate, no mechanisms to test.

He is clean and safe and well-fed and there is a warm hand on his shoulder.

How long did Peter go without that?

“You’re shaking,” says Rhodey, and his friend grimaces. “Tony…”

Is he? Tony glances down to check and finds his hand trembling at his side; he raises it, stares at it, and feels a twist of revulsion in his stomach.

Rhodey’s mechanic legs move with several clicking noises as the man shifts towards him. “I thought Helen fixed that.”

“Most of it,” Tony says, weary. When he asked Cho why it hadn’t gotten better, she’d assured him there was some damage, but nothing that wouldn’t heal with time. The rest, she said, and she looked a bit sad, her eyes soft, could just be stress.

“Do you need something?” Rhodey asks, squeezing Tony’s shoulder again. “Coffee, or water, or…”

He can’t have coffee anymore. Not with the way he wrecked his heart with those supplements. He supposes he hadn’t thought of the risk when he was trapped in the lab. “Can’t,” Tony says. “The, uh…” He waves vaguely at his chest, at the arc-reactor, now pacemaker, steadily glowing blue.

Eyes flicking down to Tony’s chest, his friend nods quickly. “Right. Sorry. Forgot.”

Pepper’s a couple aisles away and talking to a teenage boy, both still seated on the bench—her hand on the boy’s shoulder, the kid talking nonstop. He barely even remembers who that kid is—someone involved in the case, he’s sure. Murdock and Nelson are standing at the prosecution’s table and talking to each other. Peter’s already gone. His chair is empty.

A pang of panic hits him in the chest—a burning pain, and his mind blears with the echo of Peter’s face. Where… Where…

Someone took him, Tony’s mind whispers, and his gut twists violently at the thought. Someone—

“—did you think I was just f*cking around, Stark?” His voice slides down, a broken whistle. “You’re not hacking your way out of this one—not without watching me blow Peter Parker’s brains out.” The man on the other side of Peter pulls out his weapon, a large pistol, and slams the muzzle against Peter’s bloody head; through the phone, Tony hears him cry out through his swollen mouth in shock. A “no” dies in Tony’s throat.

His left arm’s tingling, going strangely numb, and everything starts to spin. He can’t breathe.

On the other end of the line, Charlie growls, “I told you not to try any of this hero business, Stark.”

The man beside Peter slams his fist against Peter’s swollen wrist. Peter gurgles in pain.

Panic spears through him; Tony gasps out, “Please.”

Charlie ignores him. “Get started on my weapon, Stark. Or it’s Parker’s head on a platter.”

Through the phone, Peter makes this sound, so weak and pained that Tony’s legs buckle beneath him.

Charlie’s voice. “You’re my bitch now, Stark.” A chuckle. “Don’t forget it—”

“Tony?”

Charlie’s gruff voice over the phone. A knife pressing hard into Peter’s cheek. The television grainy in front of him—the chair empty in the center of that tiny room, the cuffs clamped down on chafed-bloody skin—

“Tony. Tony.”

“I’m fine,” he says, pushing himself up from his chair. Why is Charlie Keene’s face sticking in his mind? Why can he still see the man’s face as clear as that first day? Hear his voice barking orders over the phone? Hear Peter begging for help—begging that man for mercy?

Only one time they’d let him speak to him over the phone. One time, and Tony could remember it like it was yesterday. Is it gonna work? he’d asked, his voice raw and full of tears, and when Tony had lied to him and told him yes, Peter sobbed out three more words.

Do you promise?

He thinks Peter knew he was lying. He thinks they were both lying to each other—but what else could they have done? Peter saying he’d watch the Godfather, Tony saying that f*cking weapon would work.

Not one day could he pull together something to save Peter. Not once. Hundreds of hours, thousands, and not one of Tony’s weapons that worked the way Charlie Keene wanted it to. How could he have ever claimed to be a genius? An engineer? A marvel?

He was nothing.

He couldn’t save Peter. He couldn’t save anyone.

God, he hates himself.

“Where is he?” Tony manages. “Where’s Peter?”

Rhodey looks at him. “The bathroom,” he says, an awkward lilt to his voice. “With Sam. Tony—”

“I’m fine,” he repeats, but Jesus, he really is shaking because he takes one step and has to brace himself against the bench, his knees going weak. Tony keeps picturing Charlie’s face: wild eyes, bearded chin, open mouth screaming Peter’s name. His heart patters in his chest, faster and faster, and he just keeps seeing the man—wide bloodshot eyes, matted beard, face speckled with Peter’s blood, raising that hammer—

A low whirring sound as Rhodey’s mechanically-supported legs move towards him. Then a hand resting on his shoulder, a warm pressure on his back.

“Sorry,” Tony says, feeling shame harden in his stomach, and he presses his fingers into his eyes. Peter had been tortured for months by that man, and here he was, trembling at the sight of a guy who’d never laid a hand on him. “I just…”

He looks up at his friend—who has seen him turn from a glossy businessman into this wreck of a person. He wonders if Rhodey knows how badly he failed Peter.

He wonders if Rhodey thinks about that when he looks at him.

Tony sure does.

Rhodey opens his mouth like he’s about to say something, and then quickly shuts it. The man stares down at his own legs, a strange, hollow look, and Tony thinks, Of course. How could he even think of self-pity after what he did to Rhodey? After what he did to Pepper, to Peter, to everyone?

His legs shake again, a pathetic quake, and Tony clamps his hand down on his knee to stop it. He doubts he’ll be able to make it out those courtroom doors without help.

When Tony looks up again, Rhodey’s got one arm extended towards him, his hand out towards Tony’s. He beckons to him, wordless, and then extends his hand a second time—an offer.

Tony takes it.

SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 23 — 4:08 PM

The hallway is crowded with people—men in suits and women in blouses. One step at a time , Rhodey helps him the whole way, and they avoid speaking to any of the people they pass. A lawyer who was at Tony’s first Iron Man hearing. Clint Barton dressed in a smart navy suit, talking quietly with Happy. Natasha Romanoff, as unreadable as ever, who stands as they pass and follows right after them. Foggy Nelson, who’s sitting on a bench and wiping at his forehead with his sleeve; he, too, gets up and follows them down the hallway.

And then a man in a tailored suit. White with a gray mustache and well-combed hair and glossy black shoes. There’s an army pin on his lapel, and he’s got a sandwich in his hand and takes a massive bite—he’s chewing and laughing at the same time. He’s speaking to a couple other men, clapping one on the shoulder as he speaks.

Someone Tony knows too well.

Secretary Thaddeus Ross.

“What is he doing here?” Rhodey asks, giving a hard glance at the man.

Foggy Nelson answers this time. “Secretary of Defense,” he says. “He’s allowed to.”

“You know the guy?” Rhodey asks.

The blonde man rubs the back of his neck as they walk. “Ran into him a couple times, yeah. Me and Matt work a lot of enhanced cases.”

“And he’s…”

“Secretary of Defense,” says the man. “Head of the newfound Enhanced Containment Division, so he’s usually…around. Any enhanced cases, law of collateral stuff… Usually he’s trying to get them on technicalities, you know, ship them off to the Raft.”

“But what the hell is he doing here?” asks Rhodey. “Peter didn’t do anything wrong.”

Nelson shrugs. “You’d have to ask him.”

Tony glances back at the man as they pass. The man takes another bite of his sandwich, chewing now with his mouth open and laughing again. He hates, suddenly, that Ross is eating like that—easily, casually, like there’s nothing to it.

Like Peter doesn’t struggle to take down every meal, like Peter hadn’t been starved for five months, like Peter wasn’t so skeletally thin when they found him that he contracted refeeding syndrome, like Peter didn’t chew cardboard between meals, like Peter couldn’t look at a slice of damn pizza without wondering about what he’d have to sacrifice for it.

Tony watches as Ross drifts to some men talking on the other side of the room and waves to them—their slapping him on the back as a greeting. Ross laughs loudly, and abruptly Tony thinks.

When was the last time Tony laughed?

When was the last time Peter did?

Rhodey taps his shoulder again, and Tony keeps walking, turning away from the man. Rhodey helps him down the hallway, past the men’s bathroom and the women’s, to the end of the hall where there’s a lone door with a handle. A family bathroom. One room. At the end of this hall, their group gathers—Clint drifting to Nat’s side, Agent Woo holding two cups of coffee and talking to Sarah.

“Hey,” says the agent as he approaches. “Good job in there.”

“Haven’t done anything yet,” Tony says.

“Still,” Agent Woo says, and then they both fall silent. A beat, and he gestures with one hand with the white styrofoam cup “Coffee?”

Rhodey takes the first cup with a “thanks” and Woo holds out the second one to Tony—a wisp of steam rises from it.

Coffee.

Tony stares at it for a moment, and he can remember the taste too well—black and bitter, milky and sweet, sipping from a plastic lid.

Woo clears his throat. “Uh,” the agent says, still holding out the cup. “Did you want…”

Before the sleep supplement pills, Tony had coffee. Tons of it. He was drinking so much of it that he started to dream of it, too, and his whole body would tremble from the mere lack of it. He drank it so much that he couldn’t last more than a couple hours without it, so much that headaches would press at his skull and squeeze at his every thought, begging for more.

“Can’t,” Tony mumbles. “Meds.”

He’s no longer weaning off the stimulants he took, but the aftereffects still remain. He still takes medication for his weakened heart. He can still feel that pacemaker thrumming through him, keeping his heart going steady. After so long on the sleep supplements and dangerous levels of stimulants and stress, Helen advised him to avoid caffeine altogether.

“Oh,” says Woo, pulling the cup back. “I didn’t know… Uh.”

Tony used to go on Starbucks runs with Pepper. He and Rhodey used to go to local coffee shops and buy new coffee beans for them to try—French roast and breakfast blend, mocha and Irish cream, hazelnut, too—Tony’s favorite. Anything they could find, they tried. Tony used to make it for Pepper. She always got up before him, and he’d make her breakfast while she was in the shower—slide a steaming mug across the counter to her every morning, the way she liked it—with too much milk and a sprinkle of sugar.

(He can picture her now, the way they were before—Pepper Potts falling asleep next to him, Pepper Potts stepping out of the shower, Pepper Potts in her skirt and blazer, kissing him goodbye.)

Then April came, and coffee became a commodity. A means to an end. Something he used in his struggle to save Peter. After weeks and weeks of drinking it, Tony stopped taking any pleasure in it at all. He started drinking it like water, gulping it down like air, knowing that every second he took to sleep was a second wasted.

He thinks the longest he went without sleep was ten days, at one point, after Charlie waterboarded Peter and forced him to watch.

“Sorry,” Tony adds, and he has to blink away the image of Peter coughing up water—of liquid spilling out of his mouth, streaming shiny down his chest.

Agent Woo nods awkwardly. Then he turns and passes the cup to Foggy, who thanks him with a pat to the shoulder—then sips, winces at its bitterness, and lowers the cup to his side.

In the corner, Sam Wilson is talking quietly with his sister, frowning and pointing at the bathroom door; Sarah takes a glance at it, then returns to their brother, giving a hushed response. A few feet away, Barnes and Rogers are standing closely together and talking in low voices—Rogers emphasizing each word with urgent jabs of his hand, Barnes holding him steady by the shoulder.

Tony and Rhodey approach the Wilson siblings, and Sam is still talking, barely noticing the people approaching. “....something you can do, right? To help him?” asks Sam. “I mean, Sarah, come on…

“There’s only so much talking I can do, Sammy—”

“But he needs you. He needs something— anything —or he’s not gonna—”

“How is he?” Tony interrupts, and the brother and sister both turn to him.

Sarah opens her mouth and then shuts it; Sam folds his arms. “Not good,” he says. “Practically had to drag him in there, which did not help—he’s freaking out.”

Drag him? Tony tries not to remember, but the memory comes like a weight to his ankle, pulling him down, and all of a sudden he can see Peter—

facedown on the cement table. Charlie’s in the corner with Renee, both of them leaned over a table staring at long stretches of white powder cut up in thin lines. They’re taking turns now snorting it up, while another man is leaning over Peter in the same manner, blocking Tony’s view of him, the man’s arms shifting above the kid’s bare chest.

Tony can’t see what he’s doing; all he knows is that Peter has long since passed out—thankfully, no one has noticed yet that their victim is unconscious.

Eight o’clock then, and relief as the man backs away from Peter, and wipes his hands on his pants. Peter is very still, his head tilted to one side, his eyes closed; Tony can’t truly see the damage—just blood, too much of it, leaking down Peter’s side in beaded lines. The man tries again to wipe away the blood, roughing his palms against his thighs, but only manages to leave streaks on his jeans.

Charlie stands then, wiping at his nose and coughing a couple times before staggering over to Peter’s body. “That’s a wrap, huh? How’d we do?” He laughs a little, and the other man laughs, too. “Think Parker learned his lesson?” He cackles again, and leans over Peter’s body, smacking his cheek a couple times. “Falling asleep on me, Parker?”

Peter’s head lolls back to its original position; Charlie grabs him by the head and smacks again, leaving pink on his face. “Parker!” The kid’s head rolls to the side, but still he doesn’t move—his arms are still in the cuffs.

He’s not fighting anymore—he’s just laying there.

“f*ck. Get him down to the doc.”

No one moves to help him—and Peter is too small, and too still, and he’s bleeding without anyone to help him.

“I said get him down to the f*cking doc! Daria! Lyle! Now!”

A tall girl unlocks his cuffs—they’re black-crusted, and a skinny guy grabs Peter under one arm and pulls.

He leaves a smear of blood on the table as he goes.

What if he’s dead this time? What if Charlie’s gone too far? What if Tony’s finally—

—a cough, and Sam Wilson is staring at him. Did he say something?

“What?” Tony says.

Sam clears his throat a second time. “Just, uh… worried about Peter, that’s all.”

Tony stares at the bathroom door; it’s got a black and white sign on the front with a handicap symbol on one side. “Is he…” Alone, he wants to ask, but he can’t bear the thought of it.

“Cho’s inside with him,” Sam says.

Tony doesn’t think then, he just moves, pushing open the door and slipping inside. Cho’s crouched in the corner by the kid, who’s sitting silently against the wall. “...hold out your arm, Peter,” she says, reaching out with her blue-gloved hands, and he just does it, tipping his head back, and he doesn’t look at her as he does.

That’s something he used to do before April, too. The kid hated needles. Refused to look at them as they went in, the way kids did. Peter could take a bullet to the chest and fight through it but couldn’t bear needles. Bruce Banner once wanted to draw blood to test him and Tony had to bribe him with pizza just to get him to sit still.

How many times has he been forced to do this?

“Thank you…” the kid murmurs. “Thank… you…”

He’s seen the kid tune out during an injection, cry, even flail and fight back.

But thank her?

“What?” Tony says, much too loud.

The kid jerks his head up at the sound of Tony’s voice—and he flails a bit, smacking at Cho, and she says, trying to block Peter’s thrashing arms, “Damn it, Tony, wait outside! Sam—help me out here!”

Sam comes in then, shoves Tony back, and shuts the door in his face.

There’s some motion inside, some urgent talking, and for a while no sound at all. At last Cho walks out and she snaps her gloves off.

There’s a mark on her face now, slowly growing red. It looks like it’ll bruise.

“Tony,” she snaps, “you can’t just do that. You know how he gets when I—”

“What were you giving him?” he interrupts.

Her nostrils flare. “His meds,” she says coolly. “Muscle relaxant, electrolytes, pain relief—”

“I thought you were doing that when we got back,” he says, bristling, and when Tony tries to move past her to the door, the woman takes a step to the side, blocking him, her white lab coat swaying. “You said he was fine.”

“That was when we thought the arraignment would only last half an hour,” Cho says. “Now we’re looking at three. I brought it all just in case we needed it, and you should be glad I did.”

She’s right. He knows she’s right.

“Listen,” she says, her voice softening, “I can give him something. Just to…make this easier. It might help—it might not.”

Give him something? “You mean—” he manages. “You want to sedate him?”

Cho lets out a huff of air—that mark on her face is getting redder by the second, becoming an irritated pink. “He’s not gonna take this well, Tony,” she says, excruciatingly calm. “I’m not sure what else we can—”

“How many times do I have to say we’re not doing that again,” Tony snaps.

“What would you rather us do?” she says, pressing on. “Wait for him to break down at the podium? Wait until he makes a run for it and hurts someone?”

Cho’s face—the bruise.

Tony shakes his head. “He wouldn’t—”

“Hurts himself?” she adds.

Tony wants to grab her by the front of her lab coat and scream, It’s Peter! He wouldn’t hurt anyone!

But he could.

God, he just did. Tony forgets sometimes that he isn’t looking at the old Peter. That this is a new one, molded and cracked like clay, a shadow of his former self. “Forget the drugs,” he says. “You’re scaring him—and you know what they used to do to him in there.”

The woman stiffens, looking suddenly uncomfortable, and then adds, “I know.” Helen is one of the few people who knows the details of Peter’s captivity—having access to all of his medical records alone allowed her to figure it out. “But he needs them—all of it.”

“He doesn’t need f*cking muscle relaxant, Helen—”

“He does,” she insists. “Peter hasn’t had the strength of his old powers in months. Months, Tony. He doesn’t understand how strong he is now. Look at the door.”

Tony looks back at the door then, just as she asks. There’s no damage to the doorknob, which makes it seem like someone opened it for him. The door jamb is what’s warped—the edge of the door melded in the shape of fingers.

Like he’d been forced inside.

Nausea stabs at his belly, and Tony presses a trembling hand to his stomach, just below the arc reactor, before it rises up. The bruise on Cho’s cheek. Sam’s hand pinning his arm down. The mark on the door. “You made—“ he says, blinking away another memory, “you made him—“

“We didn’t have much of a choice,” she says. “He’s not in a good place right now, Tony—not after seeing that man.”

That man, Tony thinks, and he hates that she can see it like that. One man. One human man without any powers—who single-handedly ruined both of their lives.

“It’s not safe for him to be at full power,” Cho says. Her black hair is pulled back in a messy ponytail, strands trailing into her face. “And it’s not safe for you to be in there with him—not with his mind the way it is.”

“Oh, so it’s fine for you, but not for me—”

“I’ve done it before,” she says. “I can handle him. I just don’t want him to hurt you, Tony, he could—”

“He won’t,” Tony says, and tries to sidestep her but she’s quicker than he is.

“Do we know that?”

“Yes,” he says, and for a second time he tries to get past her and she blocks him.

“You forget you’re fragile, too, Tony,” Cho says. “You spent nearly three months with consistent heart problems left untreated. You barely ate enough to sustain yourself, barely slept, no nutrition, I’m surprised you lasted as long as you did given your medical history—”

“I’m fine,” Tony snaps, because he is. Whatever happened to him is nothing compared to what happened to Peter. Who was he to complain about a bit of exhaustion while Peter was beaten unconscious? Who was he to complain about the stabbing pain in his chest while Peter was being cut open? Who was he to complain about loneliness while Peter had been locked in that tiny room like a damn animal?

Compared to what Peter lived through, it was nothing. Tony was fine; it was nothing. He was fine.

“Take a walk, Tony,” she says fixedly. “You can see him when I’m done.”

He tries to push past her again, and then there’s a red-haired woman between them, bodily shoving him back with one hand—Nat. "She’s right, Tony,” she says, staring him down hard. “Go get some water, food, go to the bathroom—anywhere. Just give her a few with him.”

“I don’t need a man in the room while I’m working,” Dr. Cho says. “He’ll react, and we don’t need him any more agitated than he already is—“

“It’s me ,” Tony says, ignoring the way Natasha is looking at him.

“He doesn’t know that,” Cho says.

“He does,” he insists.

“He doesn’t,” she says again, harsher. “Not like this, and you know it. Take a walk, Tony, and let me help him.”

Tony tries one more time to get past the woman to those bathroom doors, and again Natasha pushes him back. “Back off, Tony,” she says firmly. “Just let her do her job.”

SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 23 — 4:14 PM

Tony storms off.

He doesn’t get very far before Rhodey’s at his elbow again, helping him along. They head for the men’s bathroom—passing Rogers and Barnes again as they do.

They’re farther from the bathroom now, and Rogers is sitting against the leftmost wall with his head in his hands. Barnes is squatting beside him and talking to him; Rogers is nodding and nodding and nodding, covering his face with one hand, rubbing ever so often at his eyes with his wrist—the navy suit now a little dark at the sleeve.

He’s crying. Steve Rogers is crying .

Barnes touches Rogers’ shoulder, rubs a little, and says something else in that low voice.

Rogers shakes his head, huffs a breath in his broad chest, and scrubs a hand down his face as he says something back. Barnes shifts down onto his knees and then talks, says something, dipping his head a little as he does, trying to meet the other man’s eyes.

As Barnes talks, Rogers nods, pauses, and nods again, dropping his hand away from his face. Barnes grabs his shoulder and then shifts his metal hand so that he’s thumbing the other man’s neck—a gentle touch, so gentle that it startles Tony to see from something that’s so obviously built to be a weapon.

Steve nods again, makes a strangled sound, and immediately covers his face again. Barnes helps him stand them, grabbing him by the arm and pulling him up; in a split second, they’re embracing—Rogers tipping his head into Barnes’ black-clothed shoulder, Barnes wrapping his arms around the blue-suited man.

Tony looks away. He remembers holding Pepper like that; he doesn’t have that anymore. He doubts he ever will again.

Would he even deserve it after everything he’s done?

SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 23 — 4:18 PM

When they finally reach the bathroom, Rhodey asks him if he needs help; Tony says three times that he’s fine before Rhodey finally agrees to wait outside.

He finds himself leaned up against the sink as his arms shake. There are three sinks in front of him—ceramic white—and a row of stalls across from a row of urinals over a tiled floor. Tony walks up to the sink first, turning on the faucet to let the water run. Drawing his hands under the water, he then rubs his face, knuckling the cool water into his forehead and cheeks until finally Tony manages to look up at the broad mirror in front of him, droplets beading on his skin.

He looks old.

Tony forgets sometimes how much he changed in there. Gray hair that used to be black. Deep wrinkles under his eyes—skin there that used to be smooth. He’d had gray hair before, of course, but he generally dyed it. Now his beard’s grayish too, his hair lighter and streaked silver, the dye faded away, remnants of the occasional shower he took.

There was no room for vanity in that lab.

Then Tony hears it—a sound coming from one of the stalls. Light coughing followed by retching; Tony can see their legs outstretched from beneath the stall. Navy blue slacks and sneakers.

Tony takes a couple awkward steps in the stall’s direction and then backs up, not knowing what to do. “Hey,” he tries, “you alright in there?”

“All good,” says the person, in a voice that sounds decidedly not good at all, and after a second it’s followed by more retching.

He sounds young, Tony thinks suddenly. He sounds like Peter.

Peter used to stress-vomit before exams. Before any big thing, really, decathlon competitions and class presentations and Stark Industries events. Tony’s found him once in the bathroom upstate like that.

Tony knocks on Peter’s door.

It’s getting late now, and the kid should head home before May starts to worry. “Hey, Pete?” He knocks again, a couple times with the back of his hand. The door’s not fully closed, so he nudges it open with his foot, a slow creak. Maybe he’s fallen asleep on his textbook—God knows Tony’s found the kid snoozing on his textbooks enough times this semester. He needs a break. Maybe Tony should fund a summer trip for his school. Disney, maybe. Europe or DC or something. “Peter? You asleep already?”

The door’s open enough now that Tony can see the kid’s empty desk and cracked-open textbooks.

Then he hears something—coming from down the hall. Ah. Bathroom. Tony follows the sound, closer and closer until finally he sees the crack of light beneath the bathroom door and hears it—a gross retching sound and then a shaky breath. “Peter?” he says, the worry creeping in already, and he presses his hand against the door. “Buddy, what—”

“I’m okay,” croaks a voice from behind the closed door, but it’s followed by a very distinct gagging sound.

“You don’t sound okay!”

“I am! Don’t worry.”

“I’m gonna worry, Pete, you can’t stop me from worrying.” Quiet then, and he can hear the kid breathing hard. “You’re sick?”

“I’m not sick,” Peter says, and even through the door Tony knows the kid’s doing the awkward shrug of his.“Just. You know. Finals week.”

Nerves. Not sick, then. That soothes the twist of worry in Tony’s chest, and he nods. “Okay… “You need anything? Water?”

More quiet, and shifting, like he’s sitting up. “Ginger ale? Please?”

Tony walks out into the kitchen, snags a can from the fridge and kicks the door closed, heading back for the bathroom. “Alright, now lemme in, Parker,” he says, knocking lightly. “I brought you some of the good stuff.”

That earns him a chuckle. “Yeah, ‘cause I want my idol to see me like this. Just leave it outside.”

“Oh, please, Parker, you’ve known me long enough to know I’m nobody’s idol.” He raps his knuckles on the door. “Gotta let me check on you, bud, or none of the good stuff for you.”

A sigh from the other side, more shifting, and then the lock on the door clicking. Tony shuffles inside, sets the can on the bathroom floor, and sits down on the ground beside the kid.

Peter’s dressed in a Midtown High sweatshirt and jeans. His socks are blue with little green Yodas on them. “Nice socks,” he says. The kid seems fine—tired and stressed and a little pale, but fine.

Peter wiggles his toes in them. “May got ‘em for me for Christmas. Cool, right?”

“Oh, of course. Very cool.”

Peter takes the can then, pops the top, and sips at it. Tony rambles about his day as Peter drinks his ginger ale, and when the can’s empty and Peter’s looking a little less pale, Tony asks, “Feeling better?”

“Yeah,” he says, sheepish. “Sorry, Mr. Stark.”

He waves his hand at the kid. “Don’t worry about it. Now, I know you gotta be hungry, cause my world-famous bolognese is down the drain. You want something to eat?”

Peter sighs. “I just wasted, like, your entire dinner—”

“I don’t mind,” Tony says, waving the kid’s comment away. “Now, you wanna eat or not?”

“Does it make me a bad person if I say yes?”

“Nope, just a hungry one. Come on.”

They eat in the kitchen. Peter tears through the leftover bolognese until the tupperware’s empty and looks longingly at the fridge until Tony gets up and makes him a sandwich. White bread. A couple slices of ham, a couple slices of provolone cheese. “Mustard, too?”

“Yes, please.”

He slathers on a thick layer of mustard, both sides, just the way the kid likes it.

“Thanks, Mr. Stark,” he mutters through a mouthful of sandwich.

“No talking with your mouth full. And you’re welcome.”

Eventually, the person in the stall coughs roughly—then the toilet flushes. Those navy-suited legs clamber up and the stall door opens, a tall blond boy walking out, wiping at his mouth.

The boy looks startled to see Tony, and he says, “Oh, sh*t—oh. Sorry. Uh.”

He looks familiar, this kid, and it takes a second for Tony to remember who he is, although he can’t remember the kid’s name. This is the doctor’s kid. The one living at the Tower. He’s spotted him a couple times, lingering in the Medbay hallway or heading up in the elevator, but Tony’s never spoken to him.

“Sorry, man,” the doctor’s son says, still looking greenish. “Just, uh…”

Tony’s seen photos of the doctor. He looks remarkably like his father, but Tony doesn’t mention that now.

“Wasn’t expecting…” the boy continues. He looks like he might be sick again. “I knew about a little of it—the—the torture and the, uh, you know—but they—“ He takes a labored breath, and then he presses a fist to his stomach like he’s trying to keep it down. “Like sh*t, man.” He waves his hand at Tony. “Sorry. I know you know this. Obviously. You know it better than anyone.”

He thought he did.

“I’m sorry about your dad,” Tony says. The doctor: a man he’s never met, the one who saved Peter’s life.

The boy winces, and then he shrugs, hands stuck in his pockets. “It’s whatever.”

Tony stares at him.

That’s something Peter used to say, whenever he mentioned his parents in passing. It’s cool, he’d say, with a shrug of his shoulder. It’s whatever.

“It’s okay to talk about this kind of thing,” he says. “I know a thing or two about dead parents.”

Peter laughs, and then mimics in a commercial-ad voice. “We know a thing or two ‘cause we’ve seen a thing or two—“

“I’m serious, kid.”

Peter mimics him then. “I’m serious, kid—“

“If you don’t cut it out right now—“

Peter was never the kind of person to talk about things. He let them linger and linger until they festered.

“You’re impossible.”

“You’re impossible—“

He throws his hands in the air. “This is why I’m never having kids—”

“Hey, man…”

Tony blinks, and he’s back in the bathroom, and a teenager is staring at him, crooking his head.

“You okay?”

This boy looks nothing like Peter: very blonde with blue eyes, hands tucked loosely in his pockets, dressed neatly in a navy suit.

“You kind of…” The boy hovers his hand over his face, wiggling his fingers. “Nevermind. Sorry. I get this is… Uh. I don’t know.”

He’s so much like Peter was before—awkward and talkative, sheepish and a little insecure.

“Sorry,” the kid says again. “Thanks for the water.”

He nods then to Tony—and walks past him for the door.

Pepper finds Harley sitting on a bench at the opposite end of the court hallway. He’s alone—like always, Harley’s alone. He’s eating something, too—a candy bar from the vending machine, and he’s holding the half-eaten piece in his hand.

She sits down beside him; Harley takes another bite of his candy bar, chews, and then swallows. “Thanks for driving me,” he says, “but, uh…”

She leans back against the wall, easing the strain in her back—the baby is large enough now that it gets in the way of everything—sitting, standing, walking.

( Not it, she has to remind herself. She. )

“...this was a bad idea.” The boy takes a quick glance at her, and then back at his lap.

“Coming here?”

Harley nods, and he takes a sharp breath, holding it in for a moment before exhaling. “I thought I could handle it, you know, hearing about everything… but…” He shakes his head. “They’re gonna talk about him, right? My dad? How he…”

Pepper nods. “When they get to Charlie… Yes, they’ll be charging him. First degree murder, forced labor… All of it.” There had been some mentions of Harley’s father with the other defendants—but not most of it. Not his death.

Harley looks away for a second, and his eyes look a little red. “Mr. Barnes said it was fast. The shot, or whatever. That it’s good that he, like, went fast. Didn’t hurt. He didn’t know… didn’t know he was gonna…”

Pepper watches the boy sniff—his nose is running a little, like he’s holding back tears.

“I don’t know, though,” he adds, his voice strained. “I read some of those notes he wrote. On the prescription pads?” Pepper’s seen some of them in evidence—there were dozens of them, all addressed to Harley. “He kept track of, like, everything. Of Peter Parker, mostly—his injuries, his medications, but everything else, too. What they talked about. Some of them mentioned they were going to kill him. So. He knew. And I think he knew he was dying for a long time. He knew it was coming. That it was inevitable, you know? It was just, like, a matter of time.”

He chokes up a bit, tears coming, and he sniffs and wipes his nose on his sleeve. “And, like, I didn’t even look for him. I just thought he was, you know, on some bender or like, doing what he always does, and he’d been sober for years but still I just gave up on him… He’s my dad and he was locked up and I didn’t even…”

“Harley,” Pepper says gingerly, putting a hand on the boy’s shoulder. “Sweetheart, you couldn’t have known.”

He nods, and then he shakes his head. “I know,” he says, tearily, and the candy bar has melted a little in the sweat of his palm. “I know. Just—I… I’m going. I don’t think I can…”

Harley doesn’t finish; he doesn’t have to.

“Well,” Pepper says, “Don’t spend it alone, alright? Never good to be alone after things like this.” The boy nods in response. “Happy’ll take you, if you’d like. Don’t think he wants to stay much longer, either.”

The large man is sitting on a bench with his head in his hands, elbows braced against his knees, grinding his palms into his eyes. Happy’s been like that for most of the case, hunched over like he’s bearing the weight of it on his back.

(Happy had warned her that Peter was missing in June. It took her two months to take him seriously. Two months of Peter being tortured to the brink of breaking, and she’d ignored it. If anyone had to bear this burden, it was Pepper, not him.)

Harley nods. “Thanks, Ms. Potts.”

Peter used to call her that, too. They’d spent months together—years together—yet even in April he’d called her Ms. Potts, just as Tony was Mr. Stark.

What would he call her now, if he could?

“Pepper’s fine,” she says.

“Pepper,” he says again, like he’s testing how it sounds. Thanks.”

She nods, gives him a polite Pepper-Potts smile, and watches as the kid walks over to Happy.

Honestly, she doesn’t really know what he’s thanking her for.

SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 23 — 4:23 PM

Tony stays in the bathroom for a while after Harley leaves.

And although he wants nothing more than to walk down that short path to Peter in the bathroom—he can’t bring himself to. He doesn’t want to leave—he can’t leave. There are no windows in this bathroom, only the mirror and his leering reflection.

He’s not trapped in here. He knows he’s not trapped in here.

But now that he’s alone again… It sure does feel like it.

He’s rarely been alone like this since he got out—and now, after seeing Charlie… His hands are twitching for something to do, waiting for someone to help, for a television to flick on, for a phone to ring, for a screen to flicker on to Peter’s bloody face.

Tony washes his hands again in some vain attempt to calm himself, letting the water run hot over his fingers, and scrubs water into his face. Tony’s beard is a mess, his hair, too, and when he looks up in the mirror he sees a beard and a pale face and bloodshot eyes and his stomach plummets straight down.

Was that—

Tony’s leg is trembling again, and he stares down at it and wills it to stop.

When he dares to look again, the mirror has changed back to what it was. Tony forgot—just for a moment, he forgot—that he didn’t look the way used to. That he looked just as broken as Charlie. Maybe they were the same, he thinks. Driven mad—drug addicted—haunted by dreams of bloodstained chairs and shattered knees and Peter Parker dragged down a dark hallway.

His heart is still pumping from the shock, and Tony forces himself to exhale. “You’re fine,” he says to his ragged reflection. “You’re fine.”

Tony tries not to hear Charlie’s voice screaming in his head: …KILL HIM! I’LL f*ckING KILL HIM!

He turns on the sink again, drowning out the sound of Charlie’s voice in the rush of water. He’s not here. Why does he have to keep reminding himself of that? He draws his hands out of the water and stares

Behind him, the bathroom door opens—a swinging creak—and Tony shoves his hands under the faucet, letting the water run clear over his fingers. He takes one short glance up at the man who’s entered—and freezes.

There, letting the door fall closed behind him, with a low smirk on his face, is Secretary Ross.

Tony turns around to face the man, his hands still dripping wet.

Ross looks healthy—pink-faced, his mustache groomed, his gray hair brushed with care and hard with gel. Even his suit is nice. Tailored to fit his huge torso, pleated in crisp lines down both legs.

“Stark,” says Ross, with a distinct look of haughtiness.

If this had been five months earlier, Tony might’ve spit in his face—After the Civil War debacle, Ross’ vying for control led to Rhodey’s paralysis, to the breakup of the Avengers, to the loss of some of his closest friends.

And if Ross had never gotten involved in the Bucky Barnes business, Tony thinks suddenly, with crystallic clarity, if Ross had never interfered, Tony never would’ve met Peter Parker.

Would it be better that way? If he’d never met the kid at all?

Too late now, Tony supposes, to be wishing he never took the kid under his wing. Too late to ponder on what could’ve been. Way too late.

“Ross,” he replies.

Some days, it’s difficult to remember what life was like before he was trapped in that lab. Difficult to remember the smell of Pepper’s hair, the sun coming over their bed. Of drinking coffee in the morning in their compound upstate, of going to work in the afternoon, of walking the short brick path from the lab down to the main house to start cooking dinner. Of picking Peter up from school, of hearing him gush about some new superhero movie, of working side-by-side with him in the lab.

The man seems fine—blue eyes traveling down Tony’s baggy suit, to his trembling hand, to his hastily brushed hair. “Nice suit.”

Tony looks down at himself; this suit doesn’t fit the way it used to, not with the weight he lost. He didn’t bother to tailor it. How could he care now about tailored suits and trimmed beards, about brushed hair and pleated pants? It now slips a bit in the hips, loose in the legs, drooping in the shoulders.

He feels, suddenly, like a child in his father’s clothes.

“What do you want?” Tony asks dully.

The man smiles briefly, then co*cks his head at him. “See you finally stepped outside to enjoy a bit of sunshine,” Ross says. “How’s Parker?”

“Peter,” Tony says after a beat.

“Right,” says Ross, but he doesn’t correct himself.

They stare at each other.

“Didn’t look too good on the stand,” Ross says, taking a step forward, and Tony takes a step back.

“He’s doing his best,” Tony says stiffly.

Then Tony sees it—more flashes of before: Peter tossing his backpack into the backseat of the car, Peter falling asleep on his textbook, Peter grimacing at a bite of May’s meatloaf. Peter in his yellow decathlon jacket, Peter dressed up for a convention, Peter climbing into Happy’s SUV—

and the car door opens. A teenager with messy brown hair and a bright yellow jacket tosses his backpack onto the seat and climbs in.

“So?” Tony asks, glancing up at the rearview mirror to look at Peter. “How’d it go?”

The kid had a decathlon meet today—he’d been studying for it for weeks.

The kid huffs. “Where’s Happy?” he says, dodging the question.

“Took the day off—now how’d it go?”

The kid fiddles with his seatbelt, jabbing it at its plastic slot until at last it clicks. Letting out a short sigh, he answers, “Fine.”

“Fine?” Tony says. He shifts the car into reverse, backs it up, and pulls out of the parking spot. “That’s all I get?”

Another mild glare from Peter. “Can we go already?”

“Yeah, yeah, alright… You wanna stop for food first?”

He shrugs, both shoulders of his yellow blazer barely moving. They’re in the street, and the road is so jammed with cars that Tony moves only a few feet at a time—tipping his foot off the break and then pressing down again.

“McDonald’s? Wendy’s? What do you want?”

“I’m not hungry.”

“Course you are—”

“I’m not!”

“Okay, okay, no need to get all worked up, we’ll eat later…” He trails off, and the kid goes quiet, mumbling a sorry before opening up his phone and tapping onto it.

It eases as the afternoon goes, until finally they’re out of the city and onto the highway, and the noise around them starts to fade—honking horns and thrumming engines.

He knows he lost; Peter knows he lost—and neither of them will say it aloud. Peter is not a kid used to losing; Tony himself hasn’t lost anything in a long time. They’re one and the same: blatant overachievers, always have been. Sure, it was the whole team who lost—but Peter doesn’t blame MJ or Ned or Flash for any of it. He always does this; Peter places the weight of winning on himself every time.

He’s ashamed to say it, but he expected Peter to win. And now Tony doesn’t know what to say now that he hasn’t.

“I’m so stupid,” the kid says. When Tony looks at him, Peter’s brown eyes are on the road—refusing to meet his. “I screwed it all up.”

“You’re not stupid,” he says.

“Tell that to my whole team,” Peter replies. He’s got his arm propped up against the car door, his face tipped against his hand as he stares out the window.

“Hey.”

Peter looks up at him—the dip in his brow, the stress in his face, and Tony can see himself in every corner of the kid’s face—can see the failure claw into him.

“You’re not stupid,” Tony says again.

Peter immediately looks down again at his lap; he’s holding his phone in one hand, and it’s still on, open to blue-bubbled messages. “Yeah,” he says. “Whatever.”

Tony tries to come up with something to say in response but draws only blanks. What can he say? Peter’s the kind of kid that never loses—who’ll do anything not to lose. The kind who falls asleep on his textbooks and skips meals to study and forgets his winter coat in the back of Tony’s car but never his backpack. The kind of kid who spends nearly every day practicing for decathlon, the kind of kid who memorizes movie quotes, the kind of kid who builds Legos for fun. He’s not used to losing.

The car ride upstate is quiet—and quieter, as each second passes, Peter’s phone buzzing against his lap, the kid checking it every time it does.

It’s been too long now, and Tony hasn’t said anything at all. He should say something. Howard would always let him sit in his failure in utter silence—through car rides home and family dinners and morning breakfasts—all of it quiet until finally Tony would crack under the weight of it and apologize.

He doesn’t want to do that to Peter.

He glances up at the rearview mirror, and Peter’s still staring sullenly at his phone.

Tony opens his mouth to speak, and finds himself without a single word to say. He’s not May—he’s not Peter’s parent. Why the hell is he trying to—

A snap of fingers, and he jumps. Secretary Ross is staring at him, an amused smirk on his face. “Cat got your tongue?” the man says, lowering his hand from Tony’s face, and then he chuckles.

Tony can still see Peter’s face in the rearview mirror.

“Wow,” he says, with another dry chuckle. “Keene really did knock the wind out of you, didn’t he?” He clicks his tongue. “Gotta say, Stark, I didn’t think anyone could.”

Tony can’t come up with anything to say in reply. Ross isn’t wrong—Tony really has lost his spark. It was stamped out sometime in that lab. “What do you want?” says Tony quietly, for a second time. He tries to cling to the warm memory of Peter—sullen in the passenger seat.

Ross gestures vaguely “Benefits of being the Secretary of Defense. Just trying to make sure justice is served.”

“He didn’t do anything wrong,” Tony says stiffly, feeling blood warm on his face. His heart thumps furiously—pounding in his ears.

Ross draws a long, irritated look at him. “I never said he did.”

With every second that passes, Tony could be sitting beside Peter and making sure he’s okay—instead he’s in this bathroom and Ross is blocking the way out—all because Tony was too cowardly to leave.

A hand pats him on the shoulder—a sudden touch, and Tony flinches. “It’s a shame about Parker,” he says, his hand stilling on Tony’s shoulder. His eyes scan Tony’s face—his messy beard, his grayed hair.

“Peter,” Tony repeats.

This time, Ross doesn’t say anything at all, just tightens his grip on Tony’s shoulder. “You’d think,” he says coolly, “that someone as smart as Tony Stark would’ve managed to whip up something satisfactory to save that poor Spider-kid.”

Tony blinks.

That’s what he used to call Peter before everything happened. It was a joke, really, and then Charlie took it and twisted it around.

Poor, poor, Spider-kid, Charlie would say, chuckling, with a hand on the back of the vibranium chair. No one to save him now…

Peter, limp in the chair with blood dripping from his nose. Peter flat on his back. Peter forcing himself up onto his hands and knees and trying to crawl away. Charlie squatting beside him as Peter dragged himself one inch at a time across the cement floor, watching him try—watching him fail.

Tony stares openly at him. “What?”

Ross’ smile fades a little; he releases his hand from Tony’s shoulder. “Nothing,” he says. “Good to see you, Stark. Glad to see you made it out of there in one piece.”

The man pushes past him to the row of urinals—and Tony is frozen where he stands.

Spider-kid.

Charlie only ever called Peter that as a joke—to mock what Tony called him. It wasn’t exactly a public title, certainly not in the news or in the media. No one even really even knew that Tony knew Peter Parker, let alone the nickname he called him.

He couldn’t know—right? How could he?

Spider-kid, he thinks again, an echo.

It feels like someone’s sitting on his chest, the weight of it almost painful, and he’s suddenly unable to breathe. He looks up at the door—where Ross stood only seconds ago—and finds himself yet again without a coherent thought. The weight grows heavier, and he feels dizzy with it, like a cord tightening around his throat.

Only he calls Peter that. Not even Pepper does. He’s certainly never called Peter that in public , so how—how could he—

The sound of jeans zipping up followed by the urinal’s loud flush. Ross lumbers back towards Tony, turns on the sink faucet, and sticks his hands beneath the water.

Just then, the bathroom door creaks open again. This time, a black man pokes his head in. “Tony? We’re starting back up in a few minutes—” He stops talking, noticing who’s flicking the water from his hands, who nods at Rhodey as he lingers in the doorway. “Rhodes,” the other man says dryly.

“Ross,” Rhodey says, tense.

Ross rips a couple of paper towels from the dispenser, crushes them in his palms and tosses them in the direction of the garbage can. He misses. “See you in the ring,” he says, and he shoves at the bathroom door, bumping Rhodey’s shoulder as he passes.

As the door closes behind Ross, Rhodey pushes inside, and at last the door creaks shut.

Tony slumps backwards against the counter. His face prickles with warmth. How did Ross know? Maybe something had slipped out into the media—the general public didn’t know that the victim of Charlie’s crimes was Spider-man—it wasn’t necessarily an unreasonable assumption that someone would leak it to the reporters, given that there were only so many young superheroes in New York—but still, how did Ross know about the nickname?

“Tony?”

Rhodey takes a couple steps towards him, and Tony can still hear that word ringing in his head as his friend approaches: Spider-kid. Spider-kid. Spider-kid.

“What did he say to you?” Rhodey asks.

Because Ross didn’t say anything, not really. He didn’t threaten him, didn’t threaten Peter, didn’t say anything that should rattle him like this.

So why the hell is it bothering him so much?

“Nothing,” Tony manages, standing up straight.

“Tony, what did he say?” Rhodey repeats, and Tony just shakes his head.

The thought flashes through his mind, and Tony can’t bring himself to stop it.

Did Ross—

“What happened?’ Rhodey says, grasping Tony by the shoulder, and the thought fades as soon as it came. “Look—Ross is a dick. Always has been. Whatever he said… Don’t worry about it, okay? He shouldn't even be here.”

No. No. It’s impossible. Ross is a fed, but he’s not a felon. Ross is the Secretary of Defense—he knows far more than the average person about this case. Maybe he’s even seen some of the files. Tony’s just being paranoid; he’s been paranoid since he left that lab—he needs to get more sleep.

Tony nods again, letting Rhodey pull him towards the door.

SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 23 — 4:26 PM

Pepper meets them in the hallway.

She’s dressed in a loose white blouse and black pants, her belly stretched beneath her maternity blouse, her face fuller, her arms thicker. Her bangs have grown, crowning her face, and she’s wearing a bit of makeup.

He hasn’t seen her dressed up like this since before he was locked in that lab. She looks different now; she looks beautiful.

Pepper is holding a cup of coffee in one hand, and when she presses it into his hands, her fingers brush his. “Here,” she says. “Decaf.”

Tony stares at it. Coffee. He’s not really supposed to—

“Decaf,” she repeats, and this time she pushes it a little harder into his hands. “Drink. It’ll help.”

Oh, he thinks sharply, and he takes it that time. After a couple sips, it does seem to help, warming pleasantly in Tony’s stomach.

(He wonders if Peter ever ate anything warm. Was it just cold cans and lukewarm happy meals? Sink water and room-temperature beans?)

They walk together towards the end of the hallway, Pepper’s arm looped in his, her hand settled at the base of his spine. She moves differently now—each step heavier, surer, stance a bit wider. Tony finishes the cup of coffee before they reach the end of the hall, spotting Barnes and Rogers along the way.

As they pass, Barnes gives him a sharp nod.

A year ago, he might’ve taken out a gauntlet and blasted Barnes where he stood.

But things have changed.

Murdock and Sam are speaking in front of the family bathroom door.

“….not much left,” Murdock is saying. “Just Keene and Beck, then they’ll call each victim up to officially make their charges…”

Sam pats Tony on the shoulder as he approaches, as Murdock keeps talking. “...Mr. Rogers first, it looks like, then Tony, then Peter. Shouldn’t take more than an hour, the rest of it—”

“Where is he?” Tony blurts out.

Sam looks up at him, and then nods his head toward the bathroom door. “Cho and Sarah left a few minutes ago—judge’s talking to them now.”

“He's alone in there?”

“Yeah,” says Sam, with an ill look of unease. “Yeah, he’s alone.”

According to the evidence folder, Peter was never alone. Ever. He only lived in that cell with Cassie—dragged to the main room and back, and then to the doctor’s once he arrived.

And now Peter’s alone in a room barely smaller than the room he was trapped in for five months.

“Move,” Tony snaps, pushing past Sam and grabbing for the door handle—yanks and pushes inside, closing the door behind him.

Peter is curled up in a ball in the farthest corner of the bathroom, hiding in the small space between the wall and the toilet, his eyes screwed closed. Tony takes a couple steps across the tiled floor, and the kid cringes at the sound. A couple more steps and he’s barely a foot away from the kid, and he kneels with aching knees beside Peter.

He’s scared.

“Hey, Pete…”

Peter’s eyes flick to him—and he knows that look, that frightened-beyond-comprehension look, and Tony winces at it, remembering Peter—

in the chair, his head dipping down, blood falling from his nose and spotting his chest

coated in sweat, flailing too late away from Charlie’s red-spattered hands—

He’s not gonna last through the second half of this hearing, Tony realizes. The kid’s this close to losing it. He puts his hand on Peter’s back and the kid nearly throws himself into the wall to get away from the hand, clinging to the toilet like some kind of shield, his whole body trembling with the effort. “Just me, buddy.”

The kid doesn’t respond, so Tony tries again. “Peter. Peter .”

Nothing again, and Tony puts his hand on Peter's shoulder. The kid cringes and then peers back at him and for a second Tony's stomach twists violently at the look in his eyes—at the wrench of guttural terror there, the glaze of fear, like a rabbit staring down an open jaw with rows of bloodied teeth. A cub caught in a bear trap. A wounded fawn looking down the smoking barrel of a gun.

Then a beat, and some recognition, like a fog clearing away in his eyes. “Oh,” the kid croaks, relaxing a fraction, and he tips his head into the rim of the toilet.

“We gotta get moving,” Tony says.

Peter shakes his head, his chest heaving with each coming breath, and he curls his arms around himself.

“It’ll be over soon,” he says, “and then we can go back home.”

“Home,” Peter echoes, and he shuts his eyes even tighter, lines crinkled around his eyes. “Home, home, home…”

“Yeah, buddy,” Tony says, but the kid’s already devolving into that echo, burying himself in it, chanting, “Never going home, never… never going… never going home… home…”

How far gone is he?

“Peter,” Tony says, startled, and when he reaches out for the kid’s arm, he makes a

“Friday—” the kid chokes out, pleading for an answer. “Friday, where—who’s—who’s here—”

Friday. Just a couple days ago Tony had given him a mode of safety, and it’s already been stripped away from him.

“Friday’s not here,” he says gently, moving a little closer, and the kid makes a gasping sound into his arms; his teary eyes flick up to Tony for a second and then squeeze shut.“Peter, tell me where you are. Can you… Can you do that for me?”

The kid drags in a ragged breath; his hands claw at the rim of the toilet, and the And another—faster and faster.

“Pete, buddy, just tell me where you are.”

“Medbay,” the kid croaks, “Medbay, Medbay, Medbay…”

Tony sits down on the bathroom floor beside him.

Oh, Peter.

That’s one of Sarah’s four questions— place.

“No,” he says, “you’re—buddy, look around—where are we right now? We’re in the courthouse, remember?”

Peter manages about one glance around the bathroom before shutting his eyes and working himself up again, resting his forehead against his knees, choking out, “I’m not—I’m not—”

“Do you remember what day it is?”

The kid just sobs, inhaling desperately as he hunches into the toilet like he’s going to throw up.

“What day is it, Pete, what day is it?”

Tony can’t go back to the way they were before—watching Peter scream bloody murder every time the door opened, pulling at the bedside restraints until he bled, hiding in corners and cradling teddy bears, refusing to eat and barely speaking to anyone at all. He can’t do it. They’ve come so far—

“What day is it?” Tony says again, and when he touches Peter’s arm, the kid jerks away hard, whispers something unintelligible and squeezes his eyes shut.

The disappointment hits him then, that horrible feeling that’s lingered in him since they found out about the hearing. That Peter was going to lose it again—that everything they’d done was for nothing. And in desperation, Tony says, “Tell me what day it is, Pete, just tell me the date.”

Nothing. f*cking nothing.

Four hours ago Peter was calm and lucid and answering simple questions like this.

How has it all gone downhill so fast?

“Peter, your name, just tell me your name.”

Everything’s going backwards—he’s missed every single question. Person, place, time… Tony doesn’t even bother to ask about the situation—he doubts the kid will even understand the question at this point.

“Peter,” he says finally, “look at me. Who am I?”

The kid sobs again without looking at Tony, still cowering behind the toilet.

“It’s just me. Just me, I swear. Look at me, buddy.”

Peter only manages one timid glance, barely moving save opening his eyes—his arm still guarding his head, his knees still pulled up to his chest. His stare finds Tony and wavers, trembling.

This is how he used to stare into that camera—into the television—his gaze sinking right into the pit of Tony’s stomach. Frightened. Helpless. Long since given up.

“Who am I?”

Peter makes that strangled sound again and shuts his eyes.

“You know me, Pete, come on. Who am I?”

“Tony,” he whispers, a miracle of a word.

“That’s right,” he says, relief pricking at his eyes. “It’s me.”

The kid hums and hugs his knees. His hood is drawn up over his head, and as he moves it shifts to reveal his dark brown hair.

“I’m right here,” Tony says, shifting closer to him, reaching out towards the kid with his hand, “so you’re safe, okay? You’re not going back there.”

Peter looks at him, at his outstretched hand, and he uncurls his arm out, reaching out like a child would for Tony’s arm. “Tony,” he whispers again.

A pressure on his arm—a hand grasping at his suited sleeve. It startles Tony so badly that he’s rendered mute, watching as the kid’s pale fingers curl around his forearm and squeeze.

“Don’t go,” Peter manages, “please, please don’t go…”

Then with his other arm, Peter slides his other arm quickly up Tony’s chest and hooks his arm around Tony’s neck and pulls him closer.

A hug.

His arms hover above the kid’s back, afraid to touch him—one wrong move, Tony knows, and this could all be over, this moment could be ruined in an instant.

“I’m not going anywhere,” Tony swears, his heartbeat pulsing loudly in his ears. Peter is a little warm, probably from all the panic, and his arms are so much thinner than he remembers. He smells like antiseptic and sweat, and it takes everything Tony has not to throw his arms around the kid and squeeze him tight and never let go.

Peter moves a little, pressing his forehead into Tony’s shoulder, and mumbles something into his sleeve—a hitched breath then, and a wet cough of an exhale.

Tony doesn’t think he’s ever been gentler—wrapping his other arm around to hug Peter back. Slowly, slowly, slowly, he reaches around until his trembling palm meets soft cotton.

He never imagined it happening like this: the kid drugged past sanity, on the sticky tiled floor of a family bathroom in a New York district courthouse in the middle of Manhattan, Tony in a poorly fitting suit, Peter bundled up in his best friend’s sweatshirt and shaking like a leaf.

“He’s gonna,” Peter chokes out, “he—he’s gonna—”

No matter what he says, Peter’s right. He will have to go back there—whether the courtroom guards or Sam Wilson or Tony himself has to take him. They are going to take him away, just like before. But now instead of Charlie’s crew, Sam Wilson. Instead of cuffs, a hand at his back. Instead of a vibranium trap, a small black chair with leather cushioning.

But Peter doesn’t know the difference.

“Mr. Stark…”

He so rarely calls him that now— Mr. Stark. In the bunker, he called him that. Tony doesn’t know why that changed, why since he got out, Peter’s only called him Tony.

All he knows is they’re back to Mr. Stark now. It used to bug him a little—the kid’s overly polite nature, the “sirs” and the nervousness and the near-constant apologies—but now Tony doesn’t mind.

Peter’s arm curls up around his back—tighter.

Almost three years ago, Peter was a freshman and Tony was a stuck up billionaire arguing over little things like politics and thought the superhero going viral on the Internet was the fastest way to get what he wanted. He spent most of his time in boardrooms and labs. He cared about presentation; he cared about money; he cared about stupid things like getting Peter into MIT and wearing the perfect outfit to the gala and having the particular type of jam for his toast in the morning. He cared about having his coffee at breakfast, about getting to therapy on time, about winning every single argument he had with the board.

He learned very quickly there were better things than winning.

He had gotten irritated at Peter for little things—for being late for pickup, for making mistakes in the lab, for refusing to talk about anything that was bothering him. He got irritated at the kid for so much sh*t—for getting injured on patrol, for going into dangerous neighborhoods, for taking the subway without telling him.

Now Peter is seventeen and he should’ve entered his senior year in August. Tony is forty-seven and hasn’t stepped in a boardroom since April.

Now, he’s just glad Pete’s alive and breathing.

Now, he’s grateful for something as small as this.

At last, Tony’s hand rests fully on Peter’s back—the kid’s still trembling, and Tony’s shoulder is damp with his tears. Peter’s chest quakes with each coming breath, an earthly tremble, and Tony stills him. “You’re alright—”

With a final shudder, Peter's heaving breaths gradually slow. A cough of more tears, a wet sniff, and Peter grasps onto him harder, two-armed, like a child afraid of a coming wave, an animal peering up at the thunderous sky.

“You’re alright….”

Tony doesn’t dare look at his watch—he doesn’t dare think of the time—but it’s there.

The moment that door opens again, this moment will disappear and Peter will be lost.

And Tony’s trying to be gentle, he is, but that ache in his chest makes him want to pull the kid closer and wrap his arms around his thin shoulders so hard that it deforms him, so that the kid leaves indents in his bones, bruises in his arms, so that it warps Tony at the edges—so that he’s left with an imprint of him long after he’s gone.

God, he wants to keep him here. He hates that he broke the lock on the bathroom door, that he has no way of keeping the kid safe. He relishes in it, this small moment. For now, Peter feels safe in his arms; for now, his panic has waned; for now, his terror has abated.

But he knows it’s not forever. Soon, they’re going to open that bathroom door. Soon, they’re gonna take what’s left of Peter away.

For now, he thinks, for now, Peter.

When Tony was young, his parents would go on long trips without him. So for weeks, sometimes months, Tony often found himself home alone. He was left alone like this often—for long stretches of time, eleven years old and left to his own devices.

This time, it was winter, and he picked the lock to Howard’s liquor cabinet with his mother’s bobby pin and opened the door to a treasure trove. He felt good for a while, really good. He felt grown up like this—sipping on vodka and seltzer, mixing orange-ish gin and soda, sipping some of his mother’s glassy rieslings that tasted a bit like soap. He tried it all.

He felt free—stupid and careless and free.

And then he felt sick.

Tony crawled all the way to the bathroom, but didn’t make it to the toilet—he curled in on himself and woke up with a spread of vomit on his shirt—with the bathroom door cracked, and a man in brown slacks and a sweater vest in the open doorway.

Jarvis.

He looked down at himself—at the sticky vomit down his front, at the mostly-empty bottle of riesling tipped on its side by his feet, at the mess he’s made. But Jarvis didn’t care what he had done.

The man took the towel from the marble rack and wiped down Tony’s shirt; he dabbed the corner of it with water and wiped at his face.

Tony was too big to be carried then, eleven years old and much too big to be carried, and he just curled in on himself and shook his head. He remembers bits and pieces from then on—Jarvis wrangling his vomit-soaked clothes off of him, getting him into a set of clean pajamas. He thinks Jarvis cleaned off his face, too.

Jarvis knew in the morning that his parents would find the liquor cabinet half-empty, would find the empty bottles of wine and the bathroom that still smelled a bit like vomit.

“I’m scared,” Tony whispered, into Jarvis’ sweater-vest. Jarvis always smelled old—a nice old, like clothes that had been worn and washed a thousand times, like soapwater and shampoo.

“It’s alright to be scared,” Jarvis told him then, his voice quiet and tired. The way he held him was slightly crooked—Tony could almost feel the ache in Jarvis’ old elbows, the pain in his back, the soreness in his old fingers warm on Tony’s back. “You’re alright.”

But Tony knew that his father would be there in the morning—that Jarvis wouldn’t be there to protect him, that Tony would have to fess up to what he’d done.

But here in this moment, the morning didn’t seem quite so close. With Jarvis, sometimes, things were alright. With Jarvis, things didn’t feel quite so bad anymore. Fear tempered, nausea waned, and the world felt small—like the universe was the bathroom with the shut door.

Jarvis stayed with him until he fell asleep—there on the bathroom floor as Tony clung to wakefulness, headed for sobriety, knowing that eventually he would wake to the morning and his father’s rage.

He’ll do that for Peter now. He'll always do it—hold him until the inevitable sun rises, until the bathroom door cracks open, until the judge slams her gavel down and calls him up to the podium.

Like Jarvis and Tony on the bathroom floor all those years ago—he and Peter hiding away from the world, the bathroom door with its broken lock, what’s left of Cho’s medical supplies on the floor. Tony won’t look at his watch—he won’t—and each second pulses in his aching chest, each second closer to returning—each second closer to seeing them all again.

And the morning—the morning will come.

It always does.

Notes:

what's up everybody. life's going a lil better so that's good. in my not-seeing-anyone era which is weird. but healthy? work is picking up. studying for the lsat. making new friends? worried about old ones? and feeling a lot more mentally stable which, in this economy, is all we can ask for, rly. starting to like my job honestly. and making friends at work!

we got to 80k hits!! and 400k words!!

peace out everybody, see u next chapter!!

Chapter 54: doomsday, pt 3

Chapter Text

SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 23 — 4:40 PM

Maggie is not used to her new daughter.

That’s how she keeps thinking of Cassie: new. Maggie has spent every waking moment since Cassie was born worrying about her, thinking about her, getting to know her. Her quirks and facial expressions, her favorite foods and her hobbies. Which stuffed toys to line up on the bed every night. Which bedtime stories she liked the most. What she puts on her ice cream, her favorite songs, the way she likes her eggs.

(Liked, Maggie thinks suddenly. Her daughter only eats eggs one way now — with her hands, out of an aluminum can.)

Now all of it—all of it—has been wiped clean from her. Her new daughter doesn’t sing, barely plays, and refuses to eat unless Peter Parker tells her it’s okay first. Cassie used to play soccer at the park with Scott; she used to read picture books at school and watch Curious George on Sunday mornings; she used to act like a kid. And now…

Now Cassie refuses to touch the books they gift her. Now she shrinks away from the voices on the television. Now she spends her Sunday mornings hiding behind Peter Parker or sulking in corners or gnawing at the skin of her fingertips like she’s hungry for more. Now, Maggie’s daughter has a solemnity to her, a sobriety that Maggie doesn’t recognize. She’s careful and quiet and wary of everyone—a habit Maggie is only used to seeing in adults.

She grew up in there. Five months now, and Maggie’s daughter has grown.

It’s been about four hours since Stark left with Peter and the others; now, there’s only a few of them left in the Medbay. Maggie and Jim, some Medbay staff, and Cassie’s therapist. Others flit in and out of the Medbay, too—some of Pepper’s staff, a couple security guards—but in general, the floor is empty.

The first hour wasn’t so bad. As soon as Peter was gone, Cassie scooted herself all the way back against the wall with her blanket drawn around her. Then she was quiet as usual, counting like she typically does around seven o’clock.

(Maggie doesn’t have to be a cop or a doctor or a psychiatrist to understand what that means. Every day at seven, Peter Parker was taken away from her. And every day around seven, Cassie always starts counting.)

So for that first hour, her new daughter counts aloud—and keeps counting until she reaches a thousand, and even then she keeps going. “...three hundred forty-five… one-thousand, three-hundred, forty-six…” She keeps her eyes squeezed closed and her ears shut—her hand pressed to one ear, her shoulder shoved against the other.

Jim tries to coax her out of the corner with toys and snacks. He spends nearly half-an-hour on his knees waving a stuffed beluga (one of her old toys, another thing Cassie refuses to touch), but their daughter only cowers away from him and counts faster. He keeps trying, though, and Cassie ignores him, counting in hushed, even whispers. Like a ritual. “Cassie,” Jimt tries again. “Look who it is? You remember this guy, right?” He wiggles the beluga a little too hard, and Cassie curls up tighter into her blanket and whispers faster. “Right?”

He leans forward and touches the stuffed animal to Cassie’s leg—she lets out a small scream, throwing the blanket at him and flattening herself against the wall.

“Jim,” Dr. Alexis says, touching her hand lightly to his back. “Jim, let her be.”

Maggie’s husband gives a pained look at their daughter—a look that, for a pang of a moment, reminds her of Scott—and drops the toy next to Cassie. “I don’t understand why she does that,” Jim says, as all three of them back away from Cassie’s spot in the corner. “She’s not there anymore. She doesn’t… She doesn’t have to…”

“She doesn’t know that,” Dr. Miranda says, and Maggie watches as her daughter continues to count with her eyes closed.

So they leave her like that for the first hour, and the second, too, letting her calm herself with the counting. She pays remarkable attention to each number, reaching two thousand and then three, and somewhere around four thousand things start to go downhill. From the other side of the room, Maggie and Jim watch as Cassie’s counting slows—their little girl peeks her eyes open, glances around the room, and then shuts them again, restarting with some stilted counting before opening her eyes again.

She blinks a couple times—and then she looks over at the door.

The psychiatrist tries, “Cassie? What’s the matter?”

Cassie glances with horror around the room, eyes wide, claps her good hand over her mouth, and muffles a cry into her palm. Her face is a little shiny, and she squeezes her eyes shut again.

(Maggie forgot that Cassie did this, the way she did when they first saw her in that New Hampshire hospital. The silent crying. Like a faucet on—tears slipping unbidden down her daughter’s sunless face.)

Her little girl is crying.

Silently, like someone taught her not to cry aloud. It’s everything Maggie can do not to launch herself at her daughter and gather her in her arms—but she’s tried that before. Cassie doesn’t do well with sudden movements—any movements, really.

Maggie expects her to get louder—but instead her new daughter only gets quieter—each like that, her sobbing in silent, gut-heaving gasps, and Jim keeps reaching out to Cassie and stopping himself, reaching out and stopping himself. She shuts her eyes and opens them several times, and Alexis tries again, picking up the toy zebra from the floor where Jim had dropped it in some attempt to get Cassie’s attention. “We can play with your zebra, we can play with your Legos… Which one do you want to do?”

As the minutes pass, Cassie eventually stops crying. The sobs turn to hiccups, the cries to sniffles, and soon enough she’s not crying at all anymore.

Somehow, this is worse. The not-crying. Cassie’s eyes look glazed, her hands come away from her ears, and she blinks at the door on the other side of the room. She’s not whispering anymore—she’s not saying anything at all. “Cassie,” Maggie tries, “Cassie, sweetheart, can you look at Mommy?”

Cassie doesn’t even glance at her. Her face hardens like she’s frozen, the tears still shining on her cheeks, her arms clasped tightly around herself. She’s barely blinking, her teary eyes focused beyond them to the door. “Cassie?” Jim calls out, and their daughter doesn’t respond, taking in another shuddery breath. “Honey?”

This isn’t normal.

Even for her new daughter, this isn’t normal.

“Dr. Miranda,” her husband says sharply, but the woman seems a bit frozen, too, closing her open mouth. “Do something!”

Maggie supposes even psychiatrists have their limits.

This whole day has been a lot—several photos from the trial have already surfaced—of Peter Parker in a dark hoodie ushered into the courthouse, of a ragged Tony Stark and a heavily pregnant Pepper Potts. The media’s going batsh*t for it. There’s even a new photo of Steve Rogers that the news is raving about: Captain America & the Stark Seven — Rescuer? Accomplice? The therapist blinks a couple of times, and then kneels in front of Maggie’s daughter, and says, “Cassie—Cassie, hey, you want to play a game?”

Her arms curl around herself—she doesn’t seem to hear any of their suggestions.

They can only watch as Alexis tries to get her attention again. “Cassie—Cassie, let’s play a game, okay? What, um…”

What did Peter always play with her?

Maggie’s used to hearing their little games, if she can call them that. Pretend games and guessing games, school games and spying games… But there’s one they play more than the rest. Why can’t she remember…

Then Maggie can see it clearly in her mind—Peter and Cassie sitting in the grass on the rooftop—her daughter’s head tipped into the boy’s arm, Cassie poking into his arm, saying, Your turn—and Maggie blurts out, “Pizza.”

The psychiatrist looks up—and realization dawns on her face, and she sits back on her heels. “Sushi,” she says, and Maggie nods. “Okay, Cassie, it’s your turn, right?”

“Your turn, baby,” Maggie echoes. “Cassie…”

Her little girl blinks a couple times; her face is still wet from all the crying, but her mouth stays closed. She’s so still and so quiet—and she has this empty look in her eyes still that a seven-year-old should not have. “Cassie,” she tries again, and her voice strains a little higher, a little more desperate. “Come on, baby…”

Still nothing.

But beside her, Jim kneels on the tiled Medbay floor. Cassie barely acknowledges him, her dark eyes still on the door, but Jim knows the game, too. Like Maggie, he’s heard those kids play it a thousand times. “Um,” her husband says, swallowing thickly, “Ice cream.”

Cassie sniffs and looks up at him with watery eyes. “Ice cream doesn’t count,” she whispers.

“Is that right?” Jim asks, and Maggie watches her husband inch, carefully, just a little bit closer. Slow enough not to startle her, gentle enough to get close. “Why’s that, honey?”

“It has to—it has to be a meal,” she whispers. “Peter says.”

“He does?”

Cassie nods, and her chin rests atop her knees.

“Okay,” Jim says, “okay, a cheeseburger then—does that count?”

“Yeah.”

Maggie shuffles forward on her knees, a little closer to Jim and a little closer to her daughter. “Now it’s your turn, honey,” she says.

Cassie grasps onto Jim’s shirt sleeve and presses her face into it; the man stiffens as Cassie hugs his arm, and she sniffles and finally murmurs into his jacket sleeve: “Ramen.”

One hundred and seventy days ago—almost six months—when Cassie was taken from them, her favorite food was ramen. She asked for it the day she was taken; Maggie had bought all of the ingredients. Soft-boiled eggs, sliced up a bowlful of green scallions, and a few healthy slices of broiled pork. No bamboo shoots, because Cassie hated them, but she’d bought some for herself and for Jim.

They should’ve gone out for dinner,s he thinks. They should’ve gone to Scott’s, should’ve gone anywhere, anything but what ended up happening that April afternoon.

Now, Maggie didn’t care if Cassie didn’t want her vegetables. She’d feed her ice cream for breakfast and ramen every night for dinner if only it wasn’t in a can. Now, she didn’t care if Cassie didn’t go to bed on time—on the off chance that she slept peacefully through the night.

“With the noodles…” Her daughter sniffs again. “And the… the eggs…”

But maybe Maggie’s daughter is still in there.

Maybe she’s still Cassie.

They play this game for a while longer, taking turns, and as they do Cassie grows more relaxed, talking more each time and hugging Jim’s arm. She looks at him now the way she used to: without any fear at all. Her face looks weary, the way a child’s shouldn’t. She looks like she’s in pain—like she’s used to being in pain.

“He’s—he was—” she mumbles, once the game dies out. “He’s gone. A really long time.”

Maggie says mm-hm and gives a worried glance to Jim.

“He’s dead,” Cassie adds, and her voice weakens under the strain of the word.

Her new daughter has jumped to this conclusion a few times before—like on that first day, when she promptly proclaimed that Peter’s hospital-prone body was a corpse. Maggie’s never heard her daughter talk about the dead. She’s never lost anyone before. Not a grandparent, not a pet, no one.

Did she see people die in that bunker?

That’s what the police report had said. That she’d watched a man bleed out on the floor of that six-by-nine foot cell. That one of the other captors had been beaten to death just a couple feet from her daughter—that’s the body they pulled out of Lake Champlain all those months ago. Nearly a dozen dead, someone had said, and Cassie had been there for it all.

Did Peter tell her that he was going to die? Maybe that’s why Cassie kept saying it out loud. Maybe Peter told her he was gonna die soon—and that she would, too.

There’s a sick, twisted feeling in Maggie’s stomach, and she steps back. She can’t help but imagine it, and it comes quickly, like a wave of nausea—

—Cassie in that underground room: lying beneath the bed with her hands over her ears, hair long and matted, all alone, counting the moments as they pass. Ever so often, her little girl opening her eyes to find the room empty. Looking around to discover four cement walls and a locked door. Searching for a window. Searching for someone to help. Searching for her parents. Her only companions the rattling radiator and a tortured teenage boy, with only hunger to wake her and tuck her in at night.

Her sweet dark-haired daughter with one broken hand. Learning to be quiet, learning to be still, learning someone would come for her, learning her death would be quick.

Her sweet Cassie, all alone—

“He’s not dead,” Jim says abruptly.

Their daughter shakes her head. “Peter says if he’s gone a long time then he’s dead. Dead dead.”

She supposes Peter Parker had to prepare Cassie for every outcome. And he had to prepare her for the most likely one—that Peter would die in that bunker, bloodily and painfully, and then Cassie would never see him again.

“Cassie, honey, I promise he’s not dead.”

“Peter doesn’t lie. He promised! He promised! He said—” Cassie’s voice cracks, wanes, and she hides her face in her knees like she’s trying to shut herself up again. “He’s dead—dead…”

Her daughter used to cry about losing soccer games—about not getting desert—about homework and bedtimes and not being able to pet service dogs as they passed on the sidewalk.

And now… Her new daughter cries about dead teenage boys and a drug addict named Ava and the fingers a bearded man broke with a hammer.

“He’s not dead,” Jim says again, with an earnestness that at last makes Cassie look up.

“He is—”

“He’s not,” he assures her. “He’s coming back soon, I promise.”

Cassie sniffs, a line of mucus trailing from her nose to her mouth, and she sniffs again. Her face is red-cheeked and messy from the crying. “Pinky swear?”

Jim nods, but it’s not enough. Cassie uncurls her arm from Jim’s then and with her good hand, reaches out to touch his. Her other one stays curled at her side as it always does, braced in stiff plaster. The scar on her lip pulls as she looks up at her stepfather with a little upset and a little hope.

Jim makes a short bout of eye contact with Maggie; his hard face falls.

“Pinky swear,” her husband says, and Jim locks his finger in Cassie’s.

SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 23 — 5:00 PM

Tony’s head hurts.

His vision’s a little blurry; he keeps blinking to fix it, and the walls of the courtroom blur around him, too—morphing into the steel trap of the lab. The tables covered with scribbled-in notebooks. The walls plastered in post-it notes. The floors muddled with coffee stains. The television humming static.

It’s all there every time he shuts his eyes. Every blink is a flash of that five-month nightmare.

Tony swears he can hear the phone ringing as the door to the judge’s chamber opens, and Judge Pearce walks out—her hair is tied back now in a tight ponytail, and she’s grasping a thick file of papers in one hand. A woman follows her—Sarah, who is speaking to her with her head ducked, gesturing with one hand at the file the judge holds. The judge nods, and nods again, and pats her once on the back before Sarah returns to the crowd.

As she returns to her desk, others file in too, in pairs and in groups, until finally the courtroom is filled again. People take to their seats quickly, but there’s a quiet hum in the courtroom—whispering.

They’re all sitting at the prosecution’s table — Matt Murdock and Foggy on one end, Bucky and Sam Wilson on the other, Tony and Peter on the middle.

And on the other side… He’s there.

Charlie.

The bearded man—whose voice still rings loud in Tony’s mind, his gravelly shouts, his drug-addled screams. The thunk of the hammer, the hiss of the blowtorch, the shrrrk of the chair as it flattens.

He can still hear that blond man howling at Peter, can still see the short man’s guilty expression, can still see Charlie’s eyes flick to the kid—and the immediate scowl that followed.

At the front of the room, the judge sits down at last. “All right,” Judge Pearce says. “Do we have everyone?”

There’s some talking between her and the young deputy.

“Perfect. Let’s finish this up, folks, and then we can all go home. I know it’s been a long day.”

There’s some obvious discontent in the courtroom pews: people whispering to others, uncomfortable shifting in seats. Arraignments never go on this long—never more than half an hour, and it’s already been two full hours with two well-earned breaks.

The state prosecutor goes up to the podium for a few minutes and speaks to the judge when she is called. Some others talk, too, and Murdock whispers a couple things to him, but none of it registers. He thinks instead about Pepper—about the baby slowly growing in Pepper’s stomach—their baby girl. Names. Maria, maybe, after his mother. Virginia, after Pepper and her mother, maybe.

He’ll build something for this little girl. A playset with swings. A kid-sized car with kid-sized airbags. Lego sets, computer games, whatever she wants.

Thinking about this slows his thumping heart, and when Tony lifts his head again, the bearded man is standing up.

Orange jumpsuit. Brown beard. Wide, bloodshot eyes. One arm cut off at the wrist, wound in bandages.

Beside Tony, Peter is still and quiet—his eyes watching the man as he moves. He’s worse now—much worse. His face has taken on this sallow look, his body stiff with tension, his hand clasping his broken knee where Cho’d attempted to brace it. He’s hunched himself over a bit, too, as though to protect himself, his other arm curled around his side. The kid’s barely moving with each breath, and his red-rimmed eyes stare up at the man as he sits. Foggy Nelson has shifted around the table a bit so that his body blocks Peter’s view of the defense’s table, but it doesn’t change much.

The guards shove Charlie forward, and he takes a few heavy steps up the stairs, careful of his movements—as though aware of himself, as though he’s sober.

He must be sober—right?

A couple more steps and he’s standing at the podium; sitting in his chair, Charlie pokes at his eyes with his stumped arm, rubbing his eyes red. Like Tony, his legs shake, and his hand twitches where it is cuffed at his side.

“Your name?” calls out the judge.

“Charlie,” the bearded man spits.

“Full name, please,” she says, like she did with Peter.

“Charles Anthony Keene.”

His voice is lower than Tony remembers. Quieter. Sober, maybe. Charlie’s always been a fast-moving creature—lumbering one way or another, throwing knives and missing, tripping over his own feet, words slurring one to the other, sweat pouring down his forehead, face dotted with sprayed specks of blood.

Was it the drugs that made him this way? Or was he like this from the start? Was it his childhood? His cop sister? His wife?

The man answers a few more questions, and Peter is quiet as usual. His hood is down now, as the judge instructed, and his arms are folded around himself. In an hour, maybe, they’ll be home again. In an hour, maybe, he can get Peter up and talking again.

Judge Pearce asks Charlie about the indictment and starts to list the charges. There’s a lot of them. Homicide after homicide, accessory to this and that, enough that Tony starts to tune them out. He’s focused more on the man’s mannerisms—waiting for him to lunge like Jon Walker did, waiting for him to snap. But so far, the man has been relatively calm. He keeps his eyes trained firmly on the table in front of him as he answers the judge’s questions.

And he hasn’t looked at Peter for more than a second. Nothing like Haroun, who couldn’t take his eyes off Peter. Or Jon, who stared at him with such unbridled rage that he had to be dragged away. Or Renee, who looked at him like something sour, like Peter was something she’d found clinging to the shower drain or stuck to the underside of her shoe. Even Riri took a few moments to look at the kid before blinking away tears.

But Charlie? His eyes don’t leave the damn podium, not once.

“... Mr. Keene, how do you plead to this charge?”

Charlie grumbles at the desk and moves his wrist, chain jangling; one of the guards squeezes his shoulder as a warning. “That’s not my name,” he says.

The judge frowns at him. “Sir, just answer the question.”

The bearded man makes a huff of a noise through gritted teeth, sitting back in his chair. “Guilty,” he spits at the woman, and he twists his neck to one side; his brown hair shakes. For a moment, Charlie’s eyes flash angrily up at Peter—a look chock-full of rage.

Tony hears Peter’s breathing stop cold in his chest. Then, he tries to think of something good—opens his eyes, sees Peter look over at him—between the two of them, a moment lilts—and Peter grabs onto Tony’s sleeve—an anchor. He focuses on that feeling—Peter’s hand grasping superhero-tight onto his wrist, how it hurts just a little. Peter’s hand: a tether, keeping him steady.

When Tony looks up again, the judge is asking Charlie more questions, and the man grows more agitated with every word.

“...number fifty-three, drug trafficking, how do you plead?”

But this time, Charlie doesn’t respond. He’s still staring down Peter. He makes a move to get up, and the security guard shoves him back down.

“Mr. Keene, please remain in your seat—”

“That’s not my name,” Charlie says again, and this time Tony recognizes it as though it’s written on the man’s forehead. The licking of his teeth, the flick of his eyes, the ever-so-often smiling to himself. The sweat speckling his forehead, the flush in his cheeks, the way he twists his neck as though to crack it.

He’s high.

“He’s not…” Tony hears himself say. His gaze is still on the bearded man—the one-and-only threat in the courtroom. “He’s…”

“What’d you say?” says Sam from beside him; the man is frowning at him, brow tight with worry. “Tony?”

At the podium, Charlie twists his neck again, and his cuffs all jangle as he jerks—the guards pin him back down to his chair.

“He’s high,” Tony says again. He rarely ever saw Charlie sober, he thinks—the man was never onscreen for more than a couple seconds before he was taking something—whether it was a pill or a syringe or a fine line of powder on the table.

“That’s not possible,” Sam assures him, with a pat to his shoulder.

He shakes his head, and another memory seeps into him—men dragging a pale-faced Peter to his chair; the kid yanking confusedly at his arms, Charlie Keene shouting, “Eyes on the screen, Stark! EYES ON THE MOTHERf*ckING SCREEN!” Tony can feel it now—the panic washing over him like a bucket of ice water, and he grips the edge of the table with his sweating hands and tries not to say anything else.

“Don’t worry, Tony,” Sam says on his other side—pressing his hand down at his shoulder in some false reassurance. “He’s in cuffs. He can’t touch him.”

“But he’s…” Tony tries to continue, but he can’t even bring himself to finish that sentence. “No—no. We’ve gotta get the kid out of here. We have to…”

He can hear the phone about to ring, the buzz of TV static, and a wave of panic hits him so hard that he feels lightheaded. Tony braces his hand against the table in another attempt to stand up, and Sam clasps his hand on his shoulder: another warning, “Tony.”

On the other side of the podium, Judge Pearce is still talking to Charlie; the bearded man has one hand clenched in a fist in his lap, and he licks his teeth as the woman speaks. “Oh, come on—” the man spits out, and for a third time he stands. “I only did to Parker what he f*cking deserved—”

“Sit down and be quiet, Mr. Keene, or I’ll—”

“That’s not my name!” Charlie snarls, and his voice is so loud that the room seems frozen as he does, and he whips his head towards the judge, who is rendered speechless by the sudden motion. “I said that’s not my name, you stupid bitch!”

Every sense of stillness from the previous second has been washed away clean.

This is the Charlie he knows.

This is the one who hurt Peter — who took a hammer to a teenager’s knee, who locked him inside of his own lab, who murdered members of his own crew, who killed his own sister with a hammer and then laughed.

This is Charlie.

The judge stares open-mouthed at him, rendered mute as the bearded man looks around—and again, settles his wild eyes on Peter. “He knows my name,” Charlie spits, with a stab of his bandaged arm. His forehead shines with sweat, and he blinks his eyes open wide, tilting his head, and says, “Don’t you, Parker?”

The guards are trying to force him to sit again, pulling at Charlie’s arms, and pushing down on his shoulders, but the man’s still talking, cackling, pointing with his stumped arm at the kid. “He knows! He knows! Look at me, Parker, TELL ‘EM MY NAME! WHAT’S MY f*ckING—”

“—Keene, one more word, and I will have you removed from my court—”

“I said LOOK AT ME, PARKER! f*ckING LOOK AT ME!”

Tony feels very cold—beside him, someone is speaking to him, yet he can scarcely hear it. Sweat comes down his armpits in cool trails, and somewhere, somewhere he can hear television static.

And without lifting his head, just his eyes, Peter’s stare moves to Charlie—and locks on the bearded man. His mouth moves: a whisper of sound that Tony doesn’t catch.

He’s obeying him.

“Peter,” Tony tries, but when he tries to look at the kid, all he sees is—

his face swollen and purpled, his knee a mess of blood. Again, Tony is helpless. “Peter!” he screeches, and he fists the phone in one hand, pressing it against the side of his head. Helpless. “Peter, it’s gonna be okay, it’s gonna be—”

The bearded man is laughing again, and the sound sticks in Tony’s mind as the judge announces, “Security, take him, please.”

As the guards yank at Charlie, and he smacks at the guards with his missing hand: “HEY—HEY! LOOK AT ME, PARKER! SEE WHAT YOU DID TO ME, YOU f*ckING FREAK!” Peter shifts in his chair—all of a sudden, he’s standing up, too. He mumbles again; he’s standing up on his injured knee, whispering to himself, and this time Tony recognizes the word.

He’s saying one word. A name.

Charlie.

He’s answering Charlie’s question.

“Peter,” says Sam, and his hand hovers near the kid—afraid to touch him. “Sit down, kid. Peter. Hey.”

Murdock seems to notice what’s happening, and he starts to talk when Peter says that man’s name again, taking a step forward. Where is he—

He’s not listening to Matt Murdock or Sam or Tony, even—no, the kid’s looking directly at Charlie f*cking Keene. “Charlie,” Peter repeats, a croak, and then he moves again, tripping past Sam, staggering out onto the carpet towards the bearded man.

The judge is standing now, too, speaking firmly to Charlie with her hand outstretched; she’s trying to hold his attention, saying, “...at me, sir…”

Everyone’s talking all at once: the guards yelling at Charlie and pulling at him, Bucky and Sam telling Peter not to move, the security guards arguing, Murdock shouting for someone to help, and Charlie’s screaming, “PARKER—ANSWER ME!”

Tony’s legs feel locked into place, like he’s kneeled in front of a grainy television screen, like he’s got his ear pressed to a telephone. He can’t move. He can only watch, helpless, as Peter stumbles out onto the carpet—Sam Wilson tries to get an arm around him and misses—because after everything, the kid is still enhanced. Those muscle relaxants make him weaker, not slower. Peter sideslips Sam with unusual speed and limps across the courtroom floor to the man.

The two security guards are too busy holding Charlie back to stop Peter—and the kid’s fast. Sam follows the kid— “Peter! Peter, stop—” and misses a second time. The kid flinches away from Sam and trips again, landing hard on his bad knee in the carpet, launching himself forward one more time to grab a fistful of Charlie’s orange jumpsuit. “I’m sorry,” Peter gasps out, “I’m sorry—I’m so sorry—”

Sorry?

One of Charlie’s guards tries to push Peter backwards but the kid just crouches lower to the ground and grasps hard at Charlie’s clothed leg, choking on every word. “Please—please, I didn’t wanna run, they made me run, I didn’t—”

“Peter,” Sam Wilson tries, and he gets both arms locked around Peter for just a second before the kid claws at his face suddenly, forcing Sam to cry out and let go. For a second time, Peter throws himself at Charlie’s feet. “THEY MADE ME—” he screeches and the kid’s voice flips from loud shrieking to a strangled whisper as he cries, “They made me, I didn’t want to go, please—please—we didn’t know…”

Tony feels the whole room’s eyes on him; at the front of the room, the judge is silent now. Sam is backing away slowly from the kid, his hand covering his face where the kid struck him. He looks up at the judge, who swallows and says, “Security—please bring… Bring him back to the prosecution’s table, please.”

Sam doesn’t move, though; it’s Barnes who walks forward, black-suited with his thick vest and strides over to the pair.

“...wanna go, please, please—I’ll come back, I wanna—come back…”

Charlie’s staring down at Peter with an amused half-smirk, mouth open, his smile slowly growing; Peter’s got a fistful of the man’s pant leg, still sobbing into the floor, and Barnes gets ahold of him then. With a whine of vibranium metal, Barnes pins him back with his metal arm, trying to get a good grip on him. “Peter,” the Winter Soldier manages, gruff, trying to get his arm around him, “Peter, calm down—“

The supersoldier gets half an arm around him and pulls him backwards—Peter screeches like someone’s taken a knife to him, clawing at the black-clothed man in vain—but unlike Sam, Bucky doesn’t flinch. “I DIDN'T WANT TO! I DIDN'T WANT TO! I DIDN’T—"

And finally Barnes finally manages to get ahold of the kid, wrapping his arm around Peter’s chest and hauling him backwards—and Peter’s hand clasped in Charlie’s pant leg there’s a loud rrrip as the knee of his leg tears free of the man’s jumpsuit.

Bucky’s got Peter now though, pulling him backwards across the courtroom a couple feet at a time, and at the defense’s table, held back by two security guards, Charlie Keene is laughing.

The pant leg of his orange jumpsuit is torn and open wide, and Charlie Keene is laughing.

And laughing.

And laughing.

SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 23 — 5:26 PM

The hearing is not over yet.

There’s one more, and the judge calls him up next. Charlie’s gone now, back to whatever cell he came from, and now Quentin Beck is standing up at the podium. Brown-haired with dark brown eyes, and an oddly pleasant smile. He smiles at the judge as he sits down, and the cuffs between his wrists jangle.

Peter is no longer sitting quietly; Barnes still has him in a vice grip, vibranium arm braced over Peter’s chest, pinning his arms down with ease as Peter makes this strange huffing sound—a taut series of irregular breaths with his eyes screwed shut like he’s waiting for something to happen. He’s holding his breath, and holding it again, and every now and then he takes a sharp breath.

“Breathe, Peter,” Bucky is saying, and even through the man’s grim face Tony can see the concern written over him. “Just breathe—you’re fine. It’s almost over.”

They can’t get him to sit down again. They’ve stopped trying.

Peter’s holding that piece of cloth in his hand still—the torn remnant of Charlie’s jumpsuit. Tony tried to get it out of his hand a couple minutes ago, but the kid’s got a tight hold on it, his fingers clawed into the orange cloth like it’s a f*cking souvenir.

The judge makes it quick, thank God. She asks for Beck’s name, and he is almost pleasant with her, answering simply and calmly. “And your age, Mr. Beck.”

“Thirty-nine.”

A couple more questions, and then Judge Pearce lists the charges. Fewer than the others, but Tony refuses to listen. He shoves his hands over his ears—and the world goes soft around him—the judge’s voice muffled through his fingers.

“Not guilty,” the man says.

Tony doesn’t think about it. He won’t.

When the man is done, he smiles a mouthful of white teeth at the judge, then at the rows of people, and then heads back down the steps without a fight.

He is the last defendant, which means their turn is up.

The judge clears her throat and rambles for a while about the prosecution, summarizing what happens next, but Tony already knows what’s going to happen.

It’s Peter’s turn.

Chapter 55: doomsday, pt 4

Summary:

last part of doomsday

Chapter Text

SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 23 — 5:51 PM

Peter’s slipping.

He can feel his grasp on reality going—like ash through his fingers, like water. They’re here, he thinks. They’re here.

He knew they’d come back. They always come back for him. Like vultures circling a carcass, like wolves trailing a wounded sheep. Like sharks sniffing out the reek of blood—and Peter the red swirling in the water.

They’ve come for him.

“...counsel and I call you by your first name, is that right?” a woman is saying. She has dark hair and darker eyes, and she’s staring at him over her glasses as though expecting an answer.

He doesn’t recognize her. She’s wearing black and she’s smiling at him. What happened? Did he do something? Where—where is he? WHERE— He was in the Medbay, Tony told him so, but now he’s sitting in a chair. It is alarmingly soft and it is dark-colored and when he looks up the room is so bright that he has to shut his eyes. There are people around, too, an incessant murmur, and there are pairs of eyes everywhere he looks.

“...let us obey Mr. Murdock’s request, if we…”

Too many people in this room—EVERYONE’S HERE BUT WHERE’S CHARLIE—WHERE IS HE—HE WAS RIGHT THERE—HE’S—HE’S—

—here at last, and the door shuts behind him with a squeal. A click—the door locks. Another safeguard against Peter breaking free.

They don’t need to lock that door. Peter can’t make it out of these vibranium cuffs, let alone all the way to the locked door.

“Know what this is, Parker?”

Peter looks at it. And then back up at the bearded man, who licks his teeth and stares down at him.

One of Tony’s weapons. The ones Charlie wants him to make. Charlie’s nose is quite red, all cracked bleeding skin, and his sleeve is rolled up to bare his needle-pocked arms. Peter looks down at his own arms, spotted with prickles from sedative-drenched needles, pinpricks red like freckles.

They match.

“You answer me when I’m talking to you!”

“A gun,” Peter says, fast.

“Wrong,” he says. “It's a piece of sh*t! Piece of f*cking junk! Say it!”

“Piece of f*cking junk,” he echoes without thinking.

Peter didn’t used to curse. He does now.

“You know what happens when Iron Daddy’s things don’t work?”

A scrape of fear down his back, and Peter sucks in breath, halting as he tries to think of his answer. “Um,” he mentions, a squeak of noise, and that’s all that comes out of him as the man stares at him.

He knows what happens. It’s what always happens. Every day for the rest of Peter’s short life, this will happen.

He takes a shaky breath in, and—

—jerks his head up. Someone is speaking to him. A woman’s voice, one he doesn’t recognize.

“...an enhanced victim… above the age of consent for vigilante activity…” Noise all around him—the low murmur of people, and when he looks around the whole word is blurry. “... these charges…to you?”

Charges, Peter thinks, in a moment of clarity and he remembers Tony talking to him. He remembers a man in his room with red glasses: a new man, one Peter didn’t know. Hair dark like Tony’s, face clean-shaven like the soldiers, pants khaki-colored like Beck’s.

BECK, he thinks, and the woman is still talking to him. “...that a yes?”

“Yes,” Peter murmurs. She doesn’t look much like Ava or Renee—one of the doctors. Medbay, he reminds himself, but Tony kept telling him differently. YES, he thinks, and he says it again. “Yes, yes…”

“And do you also recognize that as both a vigilante and an enhanced person, all of the charges brought against the defendant committed against you fall under the law of collateral?”

The man with the blond hair meets his eyes and nods. Peter watches his hands—they still in his lap, ready—he has to be ready— “Yes,” he says. He wants a yes—give him a yes, give him a yes, Pete—

The woman frowns, and she says something else, and air feels humid, damp, like they’re underground, and Peter doesn’t know where he is, he doesn’t know—

—how long he has left.

Cassie is crying silently—whispering for Ava over and over, and he wants her there. He feels himself lying in the middle of the concrete floor with the ceiling laying above him, his blood warm and sticky beneath him. Help me, he whispers, although he knows no one is coming. Who is he talking to now? Mr. Stark? Uncle Ben? God?

If he had any strength left at all, he’d pray.

But the only thing he can do is close his eyes and hope he dies quickly—and if they kill Cassie as he’s sleeping, that they do it fast—

“… Peter! Peter!”

He throws his head up, and there is a roomful of people and a woman staring at him.

“I know this is difficult, but try to stay with me. For the presented charges against the defendant, do you wish to proceed with a case against Mr. Keene?”

Across the room is a man with a dark beard and tired eyes. Tony. He’s clutching his left arm with his other hand, and through his shirt a low blue circle glows faintly. Iron Man, he thinks, and then on instinct, help me, and he looks sideways to find—

the bearded man in front of him, smiling. His teeth are black in spots—rotting away—and his face is spotted with scabs. “…failsafe, Parker…”

Peter mumbles something back, and his chest aches with something awful. It’s over now—the phone is hung up, Scott Lang’s laptop is closed, and the pain has resumed in this pulsing thump on the side of his face. He thinks his nose is broken. Twice already, three times now.

“You’re a part of something good,” he says. “We’re gonna save the world, right? You’re gonna help me. Say it!”

Peter’s face feels numb from the shock of it—his eye swollen shut, his f*cked-up nose leaking warmth into his mouth. “…he…he’…help…” He coughs and something dribbles wet onto his lap. “He-help—”

“..me…” he croaks, and his face doesn’t hurt so bad anymore. Peter touches his hand to his nose and finds some plastic tubing there threading into one nostril.

What—

“Peter?” The doctor must be here somewhere. Here somewhere—no. Medbay. He’s in the Medbay, and Cassie is here safe with him. Tony said he was safe here. Tony said… What did he say? “Peter,” the woman says again. “Peter—”

“—PARKER!”

Peter looks behind the camera at the man tied into his wheelchair—Scott Lang’s dull eyes, his growing beard, his dazed gaze tilted at the computer instead of Peter. His hair is long like Peter’s. He’s seen too much. Peter’s seen too much, Scott’s seen too much, and they’re both going to die here. They don’t need vibranium cuffs to tie Scott Lang down. Just the threat of hurting his daughter, and they had him tied down from the start. Help me, you coward, he thinks, but Scott never does anything other than what Charlie tells him. Help me!

The walls seem to get smaller as the bearded man draws closer. “Talk back to me again,” he hisses, “and I’ll take that snarky tongue of yours right out of your mouth—“

“Screw you,” Peter spits back, and Charlie whips around so fast that his spider-sense doesn’t even see it coming.

All of a sudden he’s got his hands in Peter’s mouth, gripping the bottom of his jaw by his teeth, and Peter feels the prick of the knife in his cheek, can feel his fingers pressing at his teeth like some kind of warped dentist, and he flails—panics—makes a garbled shout into Charlie’s fingers. Charlie’s crazy—he’s actually insane—and if he says he’ll cut Peter’s tongue out then that’s what he’ll do.

He bites down then, hard onto Charlie’s fingers; the man roars and then with a roar of pain, the fingers are gone.

There’s only a half-second of relief before a hand flies towards his face, hits square in the eye, and there’s a horrid crack upon impact, knocking his whole neck off kilter, and his vision goes star-spotted and sideways—

as Peter twists his head back around, one way than the other. WHERE IS HE—WHERE’S CHARLIE—and panic spirals up his back as he tries to sense the hit before it comes. He was just here, he thinks, and he looks around again, finding only strangers. Where is he? WHERE IS HE—

“...and I understand this is difficult, Peter, I really do, but you have to answer my questions. Can you look at me, Peter?”

Frozen stiff where he sits, Peter forces his eyes to the woman’s. He listens; he does as he is told.

“Good. Thank you. Now, will you be proceeding with the charges given against Mr. Keene?”

She has long, dark hair. Shiny. Clean. Nothing like Charlie’s but he knows the man is here somewhere, knows what’s about to happen.

“A yes or no is fine,” the woman prods.

“Yes,” Peter mumbles.

There’s a heavy whine in the back of his head, and he can feel blood pool at the back of his neck, can feel cuffs around his wrists, can feel the cold shiver of the damp bunker air. Across the room, someone sniffles—coughs—and—

—Charlie sniffles again, rubbing his bloodshot eyes with the back of his hand. He gets like this sometimes, no matter what he was on, and his hand is wet. He sniffs, drags the collar of his shirt against his nose, and then coughs again. “You know, Parker,” he says, “my dad used to pull all kinds of sh*t like this.”

Peter can feel the stretch in his back—scars there from what Charlie did to him—and he wonders if Charlie has marks on his. “I’m sorry,” he says.

Maybe that’s all the man needs. Someone to listen. Someone to be kind. “Do you want to…” Peter swallows, and somewhere in the terror gripping him he finds it in himself to speak. “Talk about it?”

Charlie moves his head slowly—his mouth opens, his eyes narrow—focusing like a hawk to a mouse.

Focusing on him.

sh*t.

The bearded man scoffs, pointing a trembling finger at him as he stalks forward: off-kilter, drug-slurred steps. “You think you’re so f*cking good, don’t you, Parker?”

“No,” he stammers out, and Peter glances quickly at the woman behind him—Ava, with her long scraggly hair, blinking dully at him. Help me, he thinks, he’s gonna—

“YOU THINK YOU’RE BETTER THAN ME?”

“No, no, of course not—“

Charlie staggers in his direction, a little sideways, and then halfway, and then points his finger at him. “This is all your f*cking fault,” he says. “You should be f*cking sorry. I could do worse to you, you know? I could f*ck you up bad—could take off that useless leg of yours, you want that?”

“No,” he says quickly, so quickly, and with every step Charlie leers closer and Peter presses his head back and twists his neck away—centimeters away, f*cking nothing, because he’s trapped in this chair and there’s no escaping— “No—”

“—Mr. Stark, please sit down—I said sit down, sir, or I will have you removed from the courtroom.”

A man’s voice he knows, and when he looks around he sees faces—eyes—all focused on him. They’re all watching him—THEY’RE ALWAYS WATCHING HIM—

from the doorway, a pair of cold eyes. Cassie is under the bed, hiding. She’s safe there. He can hear her short breathing, and Peter shrinks in front of the bed. A man, and his eyes are so bloodshot that they seem almost purple.

He’s watching him.

Thick brown brows and a stubbly chin, brown eyes and brown hair and khaki pants.

Beck.

Brown-haired, brown-eyed—

“Peter. I need you to try. Just—a few more questions…”

He is frozen in his spot and his breath is trapped in his chest, slowly expanding. He feels sick—where is he? Medbay, he thinks clearly, and when he looks around all he finds is more people.

THEY’RE ALL WATCHING YOU—THEY’RE ALWAYS WATCHING YOU—and when he shuts his eyes he’s there, in that room of gray walls and broken radiators and bloodstained cement. Here, with the locked door and caged lightbulb and the food slot still closed.

Home.

He forces his eyes open a second time: there in the corner, a brown-haired man. Brown eyes. White teeth. A scruff of brown beard.

The realization hits him, like nails clawing down a black chalkboard, like hot breath on the back of his neck, like four fingers clamped around his wrist.

How could he ever be so stupid?

Peter was never at Avengers Tower.

He was never in the hospital or the Medbay or anywhere else.

He was still exactly where Charlie said he would be: dying slowly in a bunker underground, alone without anyone to ask for help, bloody and hurting and waiting for—

“—no one’s here to save you, Peter,” whispers the bearded man. “So why do you keep asking for it?”

A slash of pain down his left side—a scream dies in him, and he sobs as soon as it’s over. It's over, he thinks, I'm done—just kill me, I'm done.

“Kill you?” Charlie laughs at that, and he clasps his hand against his chest as he does—a thunk, the weight of the bearded man’s fist against his own chest, and Charlie cackles again.

Peter’s legs shake—he thinks about it quickly, as the pain hitches in him, about how easy it would be, how quick.

No more pain, he thinks, it would be over.

“No, no, no, I need you, Parker. It’s not over yet.”

A sweaty palm pressed against his forehead, and another wave of chilled fear passes over him as he pins his chest to the hard back of the chair.

“You’re not going anywhere—”

“...unless you wish to continue a case against him?”

Peter shuts his eyes.

He’s gonna die here.

“Peter?”

Brown haired. Brown eyed. His firm hands resting in his lap.

“For the charges listed against Mr. Beck, do you wish to…”

He shuts his eyes tight again, so tight that spots prickle in his vision, and opens them again. The world around him is much too loud. His throat is dry, and his leg aches, and—

the brown-haired man sits up. “Better,” he says. “I’ll be back tomorrow.”

It burns when he moves. and when Cassie asks what hurts he just stays quiet. He doesn’t have an answer for her. This kind of pain he has to trap inside of him. He's not here. He's not here. He's not here.

It didn’t happen to him. Not him.

He is at home somewhere. He is sitting at the kitchen table with his homework in front of him. May is at the stove burning the pancakes; Tony is on the other side of the table making a face; Uncle Ben is reading the newspaper; Ned is beside him with a full plate.

He is home. He is home he is home he is—

—sitting in a chair that doesn’t feel right. It smells clean, like antiseptic and rubbing alcohol and cold leather. “Doc?” he whispers, bewildered, but the person speaking to him is a woman—ONE OF THEM— “Doc?”

“No, Peter, just answer my question please—Mr. Stark, for the last time, I said sit—”

—straining against the cuffs, and Peter shouts, “Charlie, Charlie, please—please—don’t do this—Mr. Stark! Help! HELP! HELP—“

Something smacks him hard across the face—pain spackles across his cheek, his eye warming from impact, his skin buzzing. His nose stings, too, the kind of stinging that surges up to his eyes and makes them water.

Oh, Peter thinks stupidly. That hurt.

“Shut the f*ck up!” the man snarls, and when he rears his arm back a second time Peter cringes away from his ringed hand. “Not everyone wants to hear that big f*cking mouth of yours all the time, Parker! I get it! You don’t wanna be here! Well, WE DON’T ALWAYS GET WHAT WE WANT—

a muffled sound and a man’s voice, booming and there across the room is red-haired Renee—her hair stringy and long, bloodshot smirk and Peter sucks in a gasp of a breath. Olive-skinned Haroun, black-haired Zhiyuan, the ones who hold him down.

They’re here.

They’re all here.

And Peter knows exactly where he is.

Someone is talking to him and Peter knows where he is now—the chair, the bloodstained cuffs, the green camera light blinking in front of him. The ringing phone, the tray of used metal tools, Mason’s hammer swinging at his belt. Another shout—his name, and—

—someone is laughing, a sharp sound from somewhere behind him, and Peter jumps at the sound.

His wrists ache from the cuffs, and one of his hands is prickly with numbness. It’s bleeding again, warmth dribbling down his forearm, and when he pulls again, the metal digs in—the pain swells, and he can’t feel his pinky finger anymore.

“—wait,” he chokes out, but he knows it’s coming. “It works—it has to work—Mr. Stark, tell them it works!”

Charlie’s hand clenches onto his shoulder, and Peter looks to Scott Lang, Cassie’s broken father. The man quickly looks down at his computer, his face taut with guilt. He finds Ava standing by the wall; she too looks away. At last, Peter looks up at Charlie, who only grins that horrible, stretched- smile. His gums are bleeding; his teeth are spotted with rot.

There is no one here to help him.

In a room full of people, Peter is wholly, entirely alone.

“It works,” Peter pleads again. “Mr. Stark! Tell them! Tell them it works!”

Silence on the other line—static. A hum of electricity.

“Tell them it works, please, please, Mr. Stark, tell them!” Peter yanks his arm against the cuffs—useless—his skin splits with the effort and still he pulls harder.

Charlie’s voice, cold and slightly amused: “Put him on his back, Glenn.”

Then—the sound of running water.

On the other line, Mr. Stark makes a noise like someone’s punched him. “Charlie—Charlie, please—” His voice cracks. “Please—please, don’t do this.”

A click, and the chair slides out flat, and Peter flails as it moves. “Wait, wait, wait,” he tries, “wait—”

“Please! Please, Charlie, he’s just a kid… Please…”

Someone presses a cloth over his face, and Peter tries to yell through it but it comes out all muffled; he jerks his neck to the side, trying to get it off, and a thick hand presses against his forehead, holding him still. “Rules are rules, Stark,” he hears from somewhere above him, and then the water comes down.

Peter can do this. He’s Spider-Man. He can take it. It’s not hard at first. One minute, and then two. He was always a good swimmer. Uncle Ben taught him how. Three minutes, and he dreams of the pool—of high school gym class, of MJ and her chlorine-doused hair—

It’s starting to burn. He lasts as long as he can before he breaks—gasping, choking, and on instinct sucks in a lungful of water through the cloth, gargles it out right into the fabric and it goes right back in—he gags

and coughs and splutters—HE CAN’T BREATHE—

The cloth presses down harder.

Peter sucks in another breath half-drenched with liquid. He’s choking down water and he’s gonna die—Mr. Stark is screaming and he’s gonna die, he can’t move and he’s gonna die—coughing again and he’s gonna die, he’s breathing in water and he’s gonna die, his lungs spike with pain and he’s gonna die, HE CAN’T BREAK THE CUFFS AND HE’S GONNA DIE, IT HURTS AND HE'S GONNA DIE, HE CAN’T BREATHE AND HE'S—

pulling violently at the cuffs and finds himself facedown on the floor, his hands pressing against carpet. He coughs violently, expecting water but only sweet air comes into his lungs. What—what happened? Where is he? WHERE ARE THEY—he senses someone behind him, a tidal wave of spider-sense up his back, and he twists his neck to find the cause. He thinks of FRIDAY and somewhere in the back of his mind Peter knows she can’t help.

He’s alone. He’s always alone.

“...help him up, Mr. Barnes…”

He looks down at himself and his clothes are dark—black, like the jumpsuit, but something’s not right. It’s too warm in this room; he’s too comfortable in these clothes; he smells clean, like soap, and Cassie’s gone—where’s Cassie—

“Cassie?” he cries out, and the panic worsens, sinks into him, grasps cold at his neck. “Cassie? Cassie—Cassie!”

If she’s not here then they have her—oh, God, if they have her—THEY HAVE HER, THEY’VE GOT HER AND THEY’RE GONNA—

“—hurt him,” says a croaky voice over the phone. Mr. Stark. “Please… Charlie… Don’t—”

Hard laughter.

“I don’t make the rules, Stark,” he says, and the man smacks Peter’s shoulder lightly—not enough to hurt, but still Peter stiffens at the impact. There’s a still-healing wound there from a couple days ago. A burn. Still healing. Still hurts. “This is all you. If you could just make this weapon right…”

“I'm trying, I—I am. I am…”

“Really? Trying? Because this—” Charlie waves around the newest weapon, tangle of wires and protected steel—fires it twice at the ceiling, and Peter cringes at the sound. “—doesn’t look like trying, Stark! Give me something that f*cking works! You hear me?”

Mr. Stark is still talking but Peter’s focused on something else. Hands behind him on the chair, fiddling with the headrest on the chair. A click, and a slow cranking noise, and something tightens hard around his forehead.

The chair’s never done that before. Another one beside him—Ava, long-haired kind-eyed Ava—and she tightens the cuffs around his left wrist, then reaches over and fixes the right. On his other side, a tall man fiddles with a black device; on it, a row of buttons. From it, a gray cord that trails all the way down to the chair, to an outlet right next to his foot.

Electricity.

Beside him, the short guard waves something at him. “Open up, Parker,” he says. In his hand is something small—a mouthguard. Beige discolored rubber. There are marks in it, too, little indents—where teeth have been.

Peter's a smart kid. He knows what this mouth guard is for.

He studied this in school, actually. Psych class, sophom*ore year. They’d watched a documentary on electroconvulsive therapy that took two days to get through. He wrote a paper on it. He got a B+.

Oh, god.

“Unless you wanna bite that tongue clean off,” the guard adds. “Take it.”

Peter opens his mouth—and a hand shoves the mouthguard inside. He gags at the taste of the rubber.

And suddenly, he knows how much this is about to hurt. His chest heaves with a breath—a mouthful of rubber and gritted teeth, he garbles out an apology. Maybe this time Charlie will listen—maybe this time he’ll take pity on him.

Beside him, Frank swallows. Peter begs him with his eyes—blinks at him, anything, and the man looks down at the remote, at his thumb hovering over the button.

This is gonna hurt, he thinks again, and he’s already sweating at the thought of it. This is gonna be—

“—fine, she’s safe…” A man dressed in black and he remembers them—the new soldiers, all dressed in black. Kevlar vests and combat boots. Buzz cuts and canvas pants. Hard, cold eyes. “...at home—remember? Medbay…”

The man’s voice goes muffled and sideways as he reaches for him—Peter rolls on the ground, tries to get up and falls again—his knee cracks against floor and a flood of pain surges up his leg that nearly makes him vomit. Could he make it to the door? His only way out—that door—BUT HE NEVER MAKES IT—YOU’LL ONLY FAIL—AND WHEN YOU RUN YOU GET—

“...down, Peter, just calm down…” A hand grazes his shoulder and he flails again, throwing himself away from the man and finds himself on the floor again; his leg hurts—GOD IT HURTS—and he crawls away from him.

YOU READY, PARKER? ARE YOU? OPEN YOUR EYES—OPEN YOUR f*ckING EYES, OR I’LL—a shadow of someone moving—IT’S HIM—men shouting, a face passing in front of him, and a hand grasps his arm tight, hauls him up and he screams again—

—until at last the machine relents.

The pain is gone so fast that he can’t even remember what it was—just relief, sweet and utter relief, hitting him so fast that his head drops to his chest, his body going slack. His whole face is wet with tears—saliva comes down his chin as his head tips forward. Thank you, he thinks, and his bleary eyes find Charlie in front of him—Charlie’s hand on his shoulder, Charlie’s mouth moving into that gruesome smile. Thank you, thank you, thank you…

He stares down at his hands, at his bleeding wrists in their cuffs. His fingers are twitching. There’s a strange buzzing in his chest now and a whine in his ears.

“...fun, huh?” Charlie is saying. “They used to use these things on old POWs,” he says, “or so I've heard. World War II, when they couldn’t find anything better to do with ‘em. Tried to turn them into spies or some sh*t—turned their brains to mush instead.” He turns his back on Peter, and then he looks at the computer camera. At Mr. Stark. “Did you know that, Stark?”

“Charlie…” the man chokes out, his voice comes out croaky over the phone. He doesn’t sound like himself, and Peter’s fingers are still twitching. He can’t get them to stop. “Charlie, please…”

Charlie chuckles to himself, and he licks his teeth. “Parker doesn’t need his brain, does he?.” He ruffles his hand through Peter’s hair; he stiffens but lets it happen. “He’s not using it.”

He then pats Peter’s shoulder a second time; it hurts this time, too.

“You’ve made your point, Charlie—I promise it’ll work, I just need a couple more days…”

“You said that last week.”

“I mean it this time. I do.”

The man chuckles. “Well. Nothing wrong with a little incentive, is there?” He clicks his tongue—then waves his hand at the tall man with the remote. “Light him up, Frank.”

What? Again?

Peter jerks his heavy head up to look at the man and yells another protest through the rubber mouthguard—all that comes out is a muffled incoherent sound. Five minutes ago he didn’t know that’s what this stupid chair was meant for, and he feels stupid now that he didn’t know. All the cords—all the switches—and he didn’t even know.

Frank looks down at him and winces. He’s still holding the remote. “Charlie… Look, man, with the kid’s weight, I’m not really sure we should be—”

“Frank,” spits the bearded man. “Turn that f*cker on—don’t make me ask you again.”

Not again, Peter begs, and he’s stupidly crying again, the tears coming hot down his face. Please, I can’t take it, not again… He can scarcely remember the pain but he knows it’ll be bad—he knows it’ll hurt—

“Come on, Charlie. Look at him. He’s already—”

“Now, Frank!”

The tall man sighs, looks at Peter, and then down at the floor. “Sorry, Parker,” he says, and then his finger moves for the button.

NO, he tries to say but he can’t get anything out through the stupid mouthguard, and his fingers are still twitching and he’s not ready yet—NO, WAIT PLEASE—

Click.

It splits straight through his skull, and rips down his spine—he can’t think—just IT HURTS—IT HURTS—TURN IT OFF—PLEASE—IT—

—hurts as the hands get tighter around him, fingers and sweat and the stench of vibranium metal, pull him hard across floor so IT’S TIME—

—IT’S—

Arms latched around him—his voice slips away from him and all sense goes with it. He claws out blindly, his vision hazy and blind with panic, and a hand clasps around his wrist so he—

screams—

and screams—

and screams—

SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 23 — 6:08 PM

They can still hear Peter screaming.

They had to drag him out like that—it wasn’t even a conversation. Murdock turned to the judge, tried to say, “Your Honor—” above the noise, and the judge immediately waved—a yes.

Although Peter is already gone, his chair empty and the doors shut, Pepper can still see it happening—the whole courtroom did. Bucky Barnes grabbing the kid and pulling him towards the courtroom doors, all the while the kid screamed like Barnes was trying to kill him.


Steve Rogers has his head in his hands; even the usually-calm Rhodey looks shaky.

At the prosecution’s table, Tony looks pale. He’s got one hand pressed to his chest, and he’s breathing hard through his mouth in huffs. Foggy Nelson has a hand on his back patting softly, talking to him, but Tony isn’t responding.

The courtroom is quiet for a while, save the low murmur in the pews. The judge is shuffling through her papers, tapping on a tablet, and eventually she calls up Sarah Wilson to her podium.

Sarah approaches, and walks all the way up to the judge’s podium before speaking with her. Ten minutes go by like this—just the two women talking, until at last the judge peers over at the empty chair where Peter sat only minutes beforehand. She dips her head for a second and closes her eyes—a beat, a thought—and opens them, staring down at the packet of papers in front of her.

Then she looks up at Sarah—who’s clutching her hands tightly in front of her—and the judge says, “Alright, Ms. Wilson. Let the record show that although Mr. Parker—Peter will not be held in contempt for his outbursts, he will be required to display legal proof of comprehension.”

An out. She’s giving them an out. “So a written statement, Mr. Murdock, do you understand? Signed, notarized, stating his position on all of the charges.”

“Yes—of course, thank you, Your Honor,” Murdock answers. “Thank you.”

The rest of the hearing is quick. The judge calls up both of them individually—Tony barely says anything—just murmurs whatever Murdock coached him to say and sits back down without looking once at the defense’s table. Steve is a bit stiffer, and he nods almost militarily, answering, “Yes, ma’am,” a couple times which the judge does not correct. He makes nervous glances towards Bucky the entire time, and then they bring up Beck and Steve simply stares down at the podium. “And you wish to continue pressing charges against Mr. Beck for the aforementioned offenses?”

“Yes,” the man says, and he sniffs roughly.

Afterwards, there's some final discussion of the next hearing—sentencing for the ones who plead guilty—and when Judge Pearce is done, she adds, “None of the prosecution will have to be there,” looking pointedly at Tony as she does. “But some like to. For victim statements, closure… Mr. Murdock can speak to you about it.”

At last Judge Pearce makes some closing statements, schedules the sentencing hearing for three weeks from now, and a separate hearing for Quentin Beck.

Then the judge bangs her gavel.

As the crowd begins to shuffle out of the room, Pepper looks back at the judge with her sleek ponytail and her black judge’s robes and finds that she’s covering her face with her hands.

someday (i'll make it out of here) - the_color_pomegranate (2024)

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